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Wanted- Reviews; Reviews go here.
Topic Started: Jun 27 2010, 08:39 AM (907 Views)
Jedi Master Luthien
Member Avatar
Future Egyptologist
Awww... thanks! :D I guess making snarky comments in every movie I've watched for the past fifteen years has helped with something besides annoying my siblings... :P

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Sounds like something out of some messed up horror/thriller story.  Man, and here we thought Middle-earth had relatively low pollution...


That's only because they haven't learned how to test for it yet.

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Particularly considering that there is no letter 'k' in the Elvish alphabet.


Elrohir: What is this "k" you speak of?

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*wishes she had a copy of ROTK on hand to flip through* Wasn't he over a hundred years old or something? *shrugs*


One hundred and thirty nine, if my arithmetic serves me correctly.

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Must be the capital Elfish Kingdom of Middleearth. *nods wisely*


Which, of course, is ruled by King Elrond, who lives in his beautiful castle.

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ARGH! Now that song's stuck in my head!!


Yup. Mine, too. It's somehow found its way into the spork of my SiME chapter, as well. :wasntme:

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I don't even think the word 'human' was ever used in Arda...


I think you're right.

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Indeed. He could rival Aragorn Elessar Estel Telcontar in the name count.


Mmm... That might be a bit iffy. After all, he is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Elessar Telcontar Strider Estel Wingfoot... :dazed:

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  :O_O: Oh. Valar. NO!
Glorfindel: *muses* I wonder if Celeborn knows about this?


So do I, Glorfy. I don't want to be the one to tell him.


Thanks muchly, Xaja! :D *accepts goodies and passes them out to her team* *noms cheesecake*
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
I loved this spork! I laughed a lot during it, but I'll quote the moments that made me lol the most! :D

Quote:
 
Elrohir: And you are quite welcome to her.
Yvaine: The least you could do is use some punctuation! [begins headwalling]
Luthi: Um, isn't it a little early for that?
Atton: It's never too early to headwall.


Very true, Atton, very true. At least not when you're sporking.

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Yvaine: A luminescent tree?
Evie: Scientific name Arboreus lightbulbus, probably.


:laugh:

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Yvaine: A barefoot robe?
Evie: A glowing barefoot robe.
Atton: Let me get this straight. She's walking around in a radioactive robe that grew feet?
Luthi: Something like that.
Elrohir: It should say "their", not "it". The subject is plural, therefore, the possessive pronoun must also be plural.


:rofl:

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Yvaine: Sorry, can't picture it.
Atton: I don't care what her hair looked like.
Luthi: Here waist?
Elrohir: The Suethor is telling Waist where the hair travelled to.
Evie: Was it going on vacation?


:rofl:

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Yvaine: As opposed to ebony that only came to her shoulders?
Evie: That type of ebony isn't black enough.
Luthi: And ebony that came to her waist would be too black.


Stop it, Luthi! You're killing me here! :laugh:

Quote:
 
Tula sinome ar' amin kwentra ile i'narn,


Fail fake elvish is fail. -_-

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Luthi: Gimli's a minor?
Evie: He looked older than eighteen to me.


Much older. :nod:

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Luthi: So we're going to, quite literally, get the movie in badfic-author form?


Seems that way. <_<

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Elrohir: Lord Elrond of... what?
Luthi: "Riverdalein"? Oh... "Riverdale in".
Elrohir: At least this Sue will not end up in Rivendell.


Heck, there are way too many times in this fic when something is spelled wrong. It's astrocious!

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Luthi: I wonder what the Mace did to deserve containment?
Atton: Was it Mace Windu?
Evie: How does one "tower" a man?
Atton: *opens mouth*
Yvaine: No dodgy connotations.
Atton: *sulks*


Don't be a spoilsport, Yvaine. <_<

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All: TENSE CHANGE!
Yvaine: Stray commas!
Evie: Run on sentence!
Elrohir: Nonsensical wording!
Atton: *throws down card* Twenty. I win!


:rofl:

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Evie: Meet the Helmet of Power and the Hand of Power.
Elrohir: And a plain, ordinary ring.


:laugh:

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Evie: We get detailed descriptions of the midnight-blue pool and the luminescent trees, but the best she can do for action is "Orcs came and a fight started"?
Atton: Fighting isn't pretty. What did you expect from a Suethor?


I didn't expect anything but crap. The author did not dissapoint.

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Yvaine: *as Ring* Hmm, not bad. Could have used a little salt.


The Ring is a carnivore! :ph43r:

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Luthi: No, a grenade pin. You've got fifteen seconds before you're blown to pieces.


Brilliant! :rofl: :D :rofl:

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Atton: Gripping, the action is.
Luthi: Talking like Yoda, are we?
Evie: Start that, you two should not.
Luthi: No fun, you are. *pouts*


I hate Yoda speak. :headwall:

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Luthi: IRS agents?
Evie: Imhotep?
Atton: Darth Traya?
Yvaine: Prince Septimus?
Elrohir: Twincest fangirls?
All: :O_O:
Luthi: Pass the barf bags. :X I'm going to be sick. *throws up*


Aargh! Elrohir, shut yer trap! :X

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Luthi: She was an loud-mouthed, disobedient, rebellious slut.


Damn straight!

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Yvaine: So now she's part star?
Luthi: And the face has grown feet, too.
Atton: The radioactivity is spreading.


The Elfling was born near Tsjernobyl. :rolleyes:

Loved it, Luthi. Fantastic spork, horrible story! :D
Added it to the library. :nod:
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Refie liked my spork! :dance: :happy: ... :wasntme:... Now that that's out of my system...

Thanks, Refie! I laughed a lot doing this one. The sheer stupidity just about blew me away.

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Very true, Atton, very true. At least not when you're sporking.


As we are very quickly finding out...

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Stop it, Luthi! You're killing me here!


I apologize, O Great Lord Refie. I had no intention of ending your life by causing you an excess of amusement... :bow: :bow:

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Fail fake elvish is fail.


My sentiments exactly.

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Heck, there are way too many times in this fic when something is spelled wrong. It's astrocious!


You're telling me! :headwall: And it only gets worse from here...

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Don't be a spoilsport, Yvaine.


Atton's got some tricks up his sleeve for next chapter, should the need to avoid the Scary Star Lady arise. ;)

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I didn't expect anything but crap. The author did not dissapoint.


If that's what you're looking for, this is an excellent place to find it.

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Brilliant! :rofl: :D :rofl:


Why, thank you! *takes a bow*

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I hate Yoda speak. :headwall:


Oops. Sorry... :wasntme:

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Aargh! Elrohir, shut yer trap! :X


Amen! :X

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Luthi: She was an loud-mouthed, disobedient, rebellious slut.


Damn straight!


There are fifty more words I could use to describe her if I wasn't determined to keep my language down to a PG level.

Quote:
 
The Elfling was born near Tsjernobyl. :rolleyes:


It wouldn't surprise me. Though what Galadriel would have been doing in Ukraine is beyond me...


I'm glad you found it amusing, O Merciful Master. :lol: Thanks again! :D
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Arya Svit-Kona
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Resident Nutcase
Very good Luthi! Very, very good!
One part fool, three parts brave-Brom in the Eragon movie

It's better to ask forgiveness than permission-Brom and Eragon in the Eragon movie

A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night-Legolas, The Two Towers

God is great
Life is good
Oh, and Legolas rules


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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Aww, thanks, Arya! :D
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Ara's Greatest Squawk
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Lost In The Future
Whaddya mean, you don't know what you're doing? This is genius, Luthi! It's better than anything I could ever come up with!

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Yvaine: A luminescent tree?
Evie: Scientific name Arboreus lightbulbus, probably.


Crack-up No. 1. I was trying not to laugh out loud, which resulted in some poorly-disguised snorts and giggles.

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At the far corner was a pond. The water was of a midnight-blue colour.

Luthi: That's because it's polluted with nuclear waste. Why do you think the trees are glowing?


*nearly ends up with coffee up nose*

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Yvaine: Oh, look! A stray comma!
Luthi: Let's send it to Ara's collection.


Thank you Luthi! This comma will go to a loving home with all the other poor little punctuation marks and abused parts of speech.

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Tula sinome ar' amin kwentra ile i'narn,


:blink: You know, I'd really like to know what that means. In Arababble it would be the equivalent of, "Quook snivley lightbulb camel ploop." -_-

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Atton: Do you think the Society for the Protection of Punctuation and Parts of Speech would lend us a period?
Elrohir: We should ask. On second thought, why would we subject an innocent period to this story?


You're right there, Elrohir. I don't think I'd subject any one of my poor full-stops to this piece of Orc-dung masquerading as a Lord of the Rings fanfic. *cuddles punctuation marks*

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Atton: Does this pond have a DVD player installed in it?


It'd have to be waterproof, if that's the case. The Elves were more technologically-literate than I'd thought.

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Yvaine: Why the random colon?


Because evidently the Suethor wants to demonstrate how many punctuation marks she learnt about in school. Whether or not she can apply them properly to sentence structure is doubtful. Send it over here, Yvaine. ;)

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Luthi: Gimli's a minor?
Evie: He looked older than eighteen to me.


Any 18 year old who has a beard that long is either lying about his age, or smoking something weird.

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Yvaine: Stray-
Elrohir: If you say that every time, you'll be hoarse by the end of this chapter.
Atton: But if we don't say it, we don't get the points!


*Jamaican accent* That's right, mon! :D Besides, you can't leave those poor little punctuation marks to the mercies of a ruthless Suefic!

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Elrohir: Lord Elrond of... what?


I admit I did a double-take when I saw "Riverdalein". And it's Rivendell, not Riverdale! Get it right, Suethors!

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All: TENSE CHANGE!
Yvaine: Stray commas!
Evie: Run on sentence!
Elrohir: Nonsensical wording!
Atton: *throws down card* Twenty. I win!


:laugh: Oh my gosh, that was hilarious! I think I nearly fell out of my computer chair!

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Luthi: I'm going to tell Ara on her.


And Ara will tell the PPC. Or whoever will kill the Sue and have done with it. :evil:

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Luthi: On the horse was Isildur, on Isildur was the chain, on the chain was the Ring, on the Ring was the writing...
Atton: *sings* And the green grass grew all around, all around, and the green grass grew all around.


I USED TO LOVE SINGING THAT! :D

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Atton: Fighting isn't pretty. What did you expect from a Suethor?


If it involved pink, lots of glitter and Pointy Heeled Pink Shoes of Peril, it could be pretty, I guess. For a Suethor.

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Nadorhuan Cowardly Dog; Thought the child.


Good Lord. Something that resembles real Elvish. If you tilt your head sideways.

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Yvaine: Stray apostrophe.


*makes room for apostrophe in Society*

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But…Arwenamin My Lady why would a hobbit be within the Misty Mountains?"


Argh...Grelvish...it burns...

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Luthi: *sings* Past the point of no return...


You know, if she burst into Phantom songs in the middle of this crapfic, I wouldn't be surprised. And I watched the movie yesterday. Random fact.

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Luthi: She was an loud-mouthed, disobedient, rebellious slut.


Whoa. Go Luthi! *waves pom poms*

And that was a freaking good spork! :D
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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Aww, thanks, Ara!! I'm pretty sure you've come up with better stuff than this before, though. ;)

Quote:
 
Thank you Luthi! This comma will go to a loving home with all the other poor little punctuation marks and abused parts of speech.

That's a relief. I've been having trouble sleeping due to wondering what was going to happen to all those poor, misplaced commas.

Quote:
 
You know, I'd really like to know what that means. In Arababble it would be the equivalent of, "Quook snivley lightbulb camel ploop."

That sounds about right. :nod:

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It'd have to be waterproof, if that's the case. The Elves were more technologically-literate than I'd thought.

I once found an essay written by someone who was convinced Eärendil's ship was a spaceship...

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Because evidently the Suethor wants to demonstrate how many punctuation marks she learnt about in school. Whether or not she can apply them properly to sentence structure is doubtful. Send it over here, Yvaine.

I'm still thinking she just hits a random key anytime she feels the need for punctuation.

Yvaine: *hands over the colon*

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Any 18 year old who has a beard that long is either lying about his age, or smoking something weird.

Or they're somehow related to Chewbacca.

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And Ara will tell the PPC. Or whoever will kill the Sue and have done with it.

Maybe we should just go after her ourselves. We haven't sacrificed a Sue to Refie in a long, long time.

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If it involved pink, lots of glitter and Pointy Heeled Pink Shoes of Peril, it could be pretty, I guess. For a Suethor.

Until the urple, glittery blood started getting everywhere...

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Good Lord. Something that resembles real Elvish. If you tilt your head sideways.

And if you squint a little.

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Argh...Grelvish...it burns...

It burns us, precious!! Nassssty Sues speaks it!

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You know, if she burst into Phantom songs in the middle of this crapfic, I wouldn't be surprised. And I watched the movie yesterday. Random fact.

And I was listening to the soundtrack whilst sporking this. Random fact. :D

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Whoa. Go Luthi! *waves pom poms*

I have my own cheerleader now? :blink: Awesome! :bounce:


Thanks, again! I'm glad you liked it. :D
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Quote:
 
Luthi: I think she means "Twilight" with a capital T, but since when is that an adjective?
Evie: As if we need more Twilight in the modern world.


No, we really don't. <_<

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Yvaine: What's an Elvin?
Luthi: Sounds like an Elvis fan to me.


Sounds like Suethor fail to me.

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Elrohir: Women in Middle-earth do not wear pants!
Evie: It's not a woman. It's a Sue.


Good point, Evie. :nod:

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Yvaine: Is anyone else bored yet?
All: *raise hands*


*Raises hand*

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Evie: A Multiple!Personality!Disorder!Sue?
Luthi: *as Herenya* You're just jealous because the voices aren't talking to you.
Yvaine: Missing comma!


It's missing logic, fun and any semblance of good writing, too. -_-

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Yvaine: Just so you know, Haldir, tar requires a good deal of scrubbing to remove from one's skin.
Atton: I'm sure Herenya would be delighted to help with that. As long as there was candlelight and rose petals and... OW! *rubs his arm*
Yvaine: *glares*


Still being a spoilsport, Yvaine? :P

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Evie: Sterotypical Sue Characteristic number 82,238 that Herenya possesses.


Many are to follow. :facepalm:

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All:  :blink:
Elrohir: I do not even know what to say to that.
Atton: I do. KILL IT!


Helloween: "Kill it"

(I've been wanting to do this for such a loooong time. :evil: :P Bad me, I know. ;) )

Quote:
 
Yvaine: Missing period.
Elrohir: There's a missing comma, too.


Enjoyment has gone missing, too. Please, if you find it, don't direct it back to this fic, take it to an orphanage for enjoyments.

Quote:
 
All: :rolleyes:
Elrohir: Of course it did.


Bulls-eye? More like bullshit. <_<

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Atton: *as Haldir* The PPC agents have finally caught up with you. Surrender now or be destroyed. On second thought, you are going to be destroyed anyway. Don't bother surrendering.
Elrohir: Then Haldir, who secretly worked for the PPC, strangled the Sue with its own hair. The End.


We wish. :(

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Evie: Where's there?
Elrohir: With any luck, Moria. She can become best friends with the Balrog.
Atton: I was hoping she'd go on a nice, long vacation on Blenjeel. It's inhabited solely by giant, man-eating worms.
Luthi: Are you kidding? It would probably tame them and make them its animal companions.
All: *cringe*


Yup, probably. Like how every One Piece sue has the "colour of the conqueror" Haki power, the power to intimidate that only 1 in a million people have according to the author. Sue's are predictabe like that, aren't they? :rolleyes: Sorry for the off-topic rant. :wasntme: Back to reviewing.

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Elrohir: Apparently DA does not realize that we Elves don't use nicknames.
Luthi: Really, 'Ro?
Elrohir: Do not call me 'Ro.


:laugh:

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Luthi: She failed. Epically.
Atton: This whole story fails epically.


Words more true have never been spoken. :nono:

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Elrohir: That must be a very large rucksack.
Luthi: Maybe it's a RPG bag. You know, the bottomless ones that you can put anything whatsoever into and never run out of room?


Except that such a bag makes no sense outside of RPGs... :unsure:

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Yvaine: Oh, it's only Lady Galadriel, one of the most powerful Elves east of Valinor...


Nothing special. :mellow:

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Luthi: Celebrian's there? When did she get back from Valinor?
Elrohir: That is a very good question.


Answer: never. The Sue's Galadriel's "daughter" (haha). What number would that make her again?

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Evie: *as eyes* I don't believe we've been introduced.


You don't want to be, eyes. :rolleyes:

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Luthi: Herenya is NOT Galadriel's daughter! Galadriel had one daughter- Celebrian! Why. Don't. Suethors. Get. It?


Because they're stupid and think Tolkien's books are bunches of toiletpaper with funny print on it (aka, the writing). -_-

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Elrohir: If Lorien's guards could not detect an irritating Sue and a stallion at full gallop, I would be extremely worried for the safety of the Golden Wood.
Yvaine: How is she riding at full gallop through the woods, anyway?
All: *shrug*


Logic, where have you gone...

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Atton: Is this supposed to be dramatic? Because it's putting me to sleep.
Luthi: Ringwraith, not ring-wraith!
Elrohir: I am amazed that DA remembered the accent mark and still managed to spell Nazgûl wrong.


It's hilarious, if you start thinking about it. :rofl:

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Luthi: And DA loses even more points for being a Movieverse!Suethor.


She had points left by this point? :O_O:

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Atton: Arwen's cheating on Aragorn with Frodo? :blink:
Elrohir: :blink:
Luthi: That's a new one.


:rofl: :laugh: :rofl:

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Luthi: Oh, look! A mini-Balrog! *offers Arawen bacon*


So cute. *scratches Arawen under the chin* :wub:

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Elrohir: Of course you are, and of course it is.
Luthi: Glorfindel's not going to be happy. First his role gets taken by Arwen, and now a Sue?
Atton: Not like it hasn't happened before.
Yvaine: I know we agreed to not mention the punctuation again, but that was atrocious.
All: Agreed.


This Sue is striving to get all points on the litmus test, no? :headwall:

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To Herenya's surprise the Halfling didn't way much at all. From looking at him, she estimated him to be at in his mid twenties-thirties.


FRODO IS FIFTY YOU DAMNED SUETHORS! GET IT?! FIFTY! :burnmad: :burnmad: :burnmad:

Quote:
 
Luthi: King's- the strongest brand of aluminum foil you can buy. Now with Poison Protection Plus!


Help! :D Cracking up here! :laugh: Need air! :rofl:

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Atton: This makes Arwen sound like a bounty hunter.
Luthi: Or a garbage collector.
Elrohir: DA is calling Frodo garbage?
Evie: Let's kill her!


Boy, you guys take things out of context easily. :P

Quote:
 
Luthi: *as Herenya* Because two people who loved each other very much got together and made me?
Atton: More like an immature Suethor decided Lord of the Rings wasn't complete without her annoying, cliched character and forced her upon the inhabitants of Arda.
Evie: I like Atton's version better.


Atton's version is the true story, too.

Quote:
 
Elrohir: Her verb of speech selection is... interesting.
Atton: Try irritating.
Yvaine: Or idiotic.


Or both. :P

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Elrohir: Apparently stating the obvious is now amusing.


I'm not laughing. :mellow:

Quote:
 
Luthi: The top of the Tower of Ecthelion.
Evie: Make that the top of Orthanc.
Elrohir: The Cracks of Doom.
Atton: Shelob's Lair.
Yvaine: The Paths of the Dead.
Luthi: Guys, we forgot something.
Evie: Oh, we did, didn't we? In three, two, one...
All: TENSE CHANGE!


:rofl:

Quote:
 
Luthi: There are no words in the English language negative enough to describe this story.


Amen, Luthi, amen.

Good chapter, again! Sorry for not reviewing in a long time! :unsure:
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Quote:
 
Still being a spoilsport, Yvaine?


Yvaine wishes me to say that she tries to keep things at a PG rating, due to the fact that my younger siblings enjoy these sporkings. :P

Quote:
 
(I've been wanting to do this for such a loooong time.  Bad me, I know.  )


Hey, it fit!

Quote:
 
Answer: never. The Sue's Galadriel's "daughter" (haha). What number would that make her again?


Uhh... 234,634,756. Galadriel is still several thousand behind Elrond in the Daughter!Sue category.

Quote:
 
She had points left by this point?


She hasn't had any points since the first paragraph of the first chapter. We're deep into the negatives by now.

Quote:
 
So cute. *scratches Arawen under the chin* :wub:


She's all yours. We've got thirteen or fourteen already.

Quote:
 
Help!  Cracking up here!  Need air!


We aim to amuse. :D

Quote:
 
Boy, you guys take things out of context easily.


*whispers* That's our superpower.

Thanks for the review, Refie! And that's okay- I understand that everyone has been busy.
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Quote:
 
Evie: Then she stepped on a rusty nail, contracted tetanus, and died.


Me likey. :evil:

Quote:
 
Atton: She suddenly realized she was the only thing in the garden, and keeled over dead of shock.


:happy:

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Luthi: Uh... don't most eyes have black ovals in the middle?
Evie: They're usually circles, actually. Sauron must be a cat.
Elrohir: Wrong Maia. That's Tevildo.


Shh, the Suethor doesn't know such things. (Neither do I, but hey, I can't know everything about Middle-earth, I'm not a die-hard fan. :wasntme: )

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As he walked toward her, she tried to get away but didn't get far as she was stopped after first step because attached to her wrists, were shackles tied to the roof.

Atton: Um, wouldn’t she have noticed that she was shackled?
Evie: She’s a sue.
Elrohir: And just where was she planning on going? She is on top of Barad-dûr, after all...


Ehm, guys, if she was on the top of Barad-dûr, how can her shackles be tied to the roof? ???

Quote:
 
Elrohir: *confused* Where did Herenya go, and why is one of the Valier in this story?


More epic failing of Wolfie, Elrohir. :facepalm:

Quote:
 
Elrohir: *twitches*
All: *edge away from him*


Refie: *edges away from Elrohir*

Quote:
 
Luthi: You're not very bright, now, are you?


I think we've established that ages ago. :nod:

Quote:
 
Luthi: The spelling! It burns us, precious!


No, no, Luthi, the entire fic burns. :cry2:

Quote:
 
Evie: Anyone asleep yet?
All: *raise hands*


Refie: *raises his hand*

Quote:
 
Elrohir: More like a Doesn't-Realize-Frodo-Was-Chosen-At-The-Council!Sue


Make that a 'Does-not-know-a-lick-of-canon!Sue'. <_<

Quote:
 
Elrohir: *twitches again*
Yvaine: Comma!
Luthi: And thus we discover the Sue's lust object.
Evie: Really? I thought this one was after Legolas.
Luthi: Maybe she's going for both.


Then they can have a trio! :D

*Refie gets attacked by everyone on the site*

:wasntme:

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Elrohir: *headchairs himself into unconsciousness*
Evie: That's probably better for him...


This fic is getting to him... :unsure: *gives Elrohir an energy drink and some Lipton Ice Tea* Drink up, buddy! :D

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Luthi: I’m not sure what that means, but it can’t be good.


My thoughts are wandering in disturbing dirty territory. :wasntme:

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Elrohir: *wakes up* Did I miss anything?
Atton: Yeah, Herenya was brutally tortured by you, Elladan and Glorfindel, and then left hanging off the side of the cliff inside Mount Doom with a colony of fire ants on her head.
Elrohir:  :blink:  I missed that?
Atton: Unfortunately, no, you didn't.


Don't tease him so, Atton. -_-

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Luthi: Her fate is tied to the Ring's?
Yvaine: Stereotypical Sue Characteristic #12,466.
Luthi: Personally, I blame Movie!Arwen.
Elrohir: When will these Suethors get it through their thick heads that the Council was not planned ahead? :headwall:


How about never, Elrohir? :(

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Did he think that he is unworthy of his title, because he is a descendant of Isildor?

Yvaine: Considering that's how he got the title in the first place...


Guys, wasn't that a Mini-Balrog floating across the screen just now? :unsure:

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Elrohir: Oh! Herenya disappeared again.


Would be cause for celebration if she wasn't just replaced immediatly with her alter ego. <_<

Another nice chapter, Luthi! :D
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Quote:
 
Shh, the Suethor doesn't know such things. (Neither do I, but hey, I can't know everything about Middle-earth, I'm not a die-hard fan.  )


I'm pretty sure even some die-hards don't know THAT stuff.

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Ehm, guys, if she was on the top of Barad-dûr, how can her shackles be tied to the roof? 


Atton says that they're probably tied to "those random point things at the corners."

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I think we've established that ages ago.


I think you're right.

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No, no, Luthi, the entire fic burns.


Yes, it does. :headwall:

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This fic is getting to him...  *gives Elrohir an energy drink and some Lipton Ice Tea* Drink up, buddy!


Elrohir thanks you.

Quote:
 
Guys, wasn't that a Mini-Balrog floating across the screen just now?


Uhhh... yeah. Oops. Missed that one. :wasntme:

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Would be cause for celebration if she wasn't just replaced immediatly with her alter ego.


Great. A Schizophrenic!Sue. :headwall:

Thanks, Refie. :D There are 20 more chapters of this monstrosity to go, and she's still writing... and has 308 reviews, all of them positive. :headwall:
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
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Thanks, Refie. :D There are 20 more chapters of this monstrosity to go, and she's still writing... and has 308 reviews, all of them positive. :headwall:


Reminds me of "Stuck in Middle Earth". :( Only there it was 400 positive reviews, with 6 or so negative.
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Quote:
 
Don John: Is this punctuation quality typical?
Atton: Oh, trust me, princey-boy, it gets a lot worse.


Don mah boy, you ain't seen anything yet.

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Evie: I'm pretty sure this isn't even English.
Luthi: I think you might be right.


I find myself agreeing with you both.

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Don John: It was my assumption that the seats next to Gandalf held Lord Elrond and no one, respectively.
Atton: One of the first rules of Sues is that they never make sense.


Yup, get used to it, bud. :nod:

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Elrohir: *twitches*
Yvaine: It's starting early this time...
Don John: What is beginning early?
Evie: Elrohir's seizures. He hates fake!Elvish with a passion.
Elrohir: *twitches again*


And let me assure you he's not the only one who hates it. <_<

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Evie: *to Don John* This is a Sue attempting to sound sophisticated.
Don John: I am afraid she has failed.


She fails at a lot of things, which I'm sure Luthi and the others can tell you about. -_-

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Elrohir: :blink:
Luthi: Bwah? What the heck is Ministirith?
Atton: It's the capital of Mini-Balrog World, that's what.
Don John: What is a mini-Balrog?
Atton: Hang around here long enough and you'll find out.


Cool, Mini-Balrogs have their own world and capital now? :bounce:

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Don John: With faces full of hope, praying that the mighty wizard would soon smite the foul Sue.
Atton: *claps him on the back* Y'know, I think you're gonna fit right in.


I think you're right, Atton. :)

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Atton: *as Hobbit* Well, I'm Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F'tang F'tang Olé Biscuitbarrel...
Luthi: *as other Hobbit* Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Yvaine: And then the Hobbits pounced on Herenya and tore her to pieces with their bare hands. The end.


And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how a bestseller is written! :P

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Pippin pointed toward the brown-blonde one "Is Samwise Gamgee or Sam"
Herenya nodded and turned back to finished Lunch.


All: :huh:


Refie: :huh:

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Luthi: Sounds like a shopping center.
Evie: *shrugs* The Sue will need someone to carry its bags. Heaven forbid it do it itself.


I think Evie nailed it down perfectly here.

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Evie: This must be Sleepy Hollow.


Please let the headless horseman come and take the Sue's head. :beg:

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Don John: I was not aware that fairies had sentient tails.


Newsflash: they don't. It's the author failing. Again.

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Yvaine: :huh: It's a Hobbit now?
Evie: So, what does that make it? Part bear, part Elf, and part Hobbit?
Luthi: And part Elvin... and probably some fairy, unicorn and dragon thrown in there somewhere.
Don John: Frightening.
Elrohir: I'd like to see its family tree.


The missing link between species. :rolleyes:

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Evie: There's that random accent mark again.
Elrohir: At least she is not from Lothlórien.


Small blessings, they save lives and sanity, don't they? :D

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Don John: Who is this "humour", and what has he done that MidnightWolf-94 disgraces him by refusing to capitalize his name?
Yvaine: We wish we knew.


:laugh:

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Luthi, Atton: *burst out laughing* :rofl:
Evie: And just HOW did that happen, Missie?


I... don't want to know. :ph43r:

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Luthi: :huh: Is that supposed to be "lush" or "luscious"?
Atton: Luscious. Apparently Herenya is a grazer.
Elrohir: That must be her Unicorn blood showing through. :lol:


:rofl: Good one, Elrohir! :rofl:

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Atton: Then promptly dropped dead.
Don John: Of what cause?
Atton: *shrugs* The Witch-King flew in on a giant winged horse and disintegrated it! Why should we care, as long as it's dead?


Atton has a point there, guys.

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Elrohir: The Shire is not a town, it is a region.
Yvaine: Do you honestly expect a Sue to have taken geography?


I don't even expect a Sue to know how to read. -_-

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Don John: The Fates are Greek. How is it that this Mithrandir may trust one of them?
Luthi: Apparently Middle-earth has miniature ones that the Hobbits carry around.


I learn something new every day. :huh:

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Atton: You'll all die, and this horrible excuse for a story will be over.
Elrohir: I wouldn't count on that.


As much as I hate to say it, Elrohir's right. The Suethor will probably add endless wangst of the Sue in Sauron's captivity as his bitch that will give him sons to rule Middle-earth with an iron fist and... I'll stop now. :headwall:

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Atton: *deadpan* The dead beings would be left alive.


I see what you did there. :P

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Luthi: *deadpan* They crawled out of its ears and piled onto the ground.
Evie: And then ran away screaming.
Elrohir: *as thoughts* Free! Free! Smeagol is free!
Others: :blink:
Elrohir: :wasntme:


:rofl:

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All: Bwah?
Yvaine: What, may I ask, is a hob?
Luthi: Well, among other things, it's a male ferret...
Elrohir: So Estel has a pet ferret?


That makes no sense. :wacko:

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Yvaine: Is there a reason we just randomly switched to Aragorn's point of view?
Luthi: Yep. 42.
Yvaine: 42?
Luthi: Hey, it's the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. It probably works here, too.
Atton: Meh, it's as good as any other answer.


I thought it was 41, myself... :unsure:

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Luthi: Oh, for crying out loud... *picks up the phone* Hello, Department of Redundancies Department?


Call the PPC while you're at it.

Quote:
 
Luthi: *sighs and picks up the phone again* Hello, Department of Redundancies Department? It's me again...


That was quick. :blink:

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Elrohir: Everyone else has already eaten.
Evie: They don't allow her to eat with the others. Her table manners are not fit for polite company.
Luthi: It's the bear blood coming through.


:laugh:

Quote:
 
The next one will be longer

All: NOOOO!!


I hate it when they promise this. :headwall:

Another good one,n Luthi! :)
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
[/align]
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Jedi Master Luthien
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Future Egyptologist
Quote:
 
Don mah boy, you ain't seen anything yet.


Don John: I am beginning to realize this, sadly.

Quote:
 
She fails at a lot of things, which I'm sure Luthi and the others can tell you about.


Yup, we sure can. Capitalization, punctuation, all forms of grammar... how about just LIFE in general?

Quote:
 
Cool, Mini-Balrogs have their own world and capital now? :bounce:


Uh huh. :D It's all fire, lava and bacon, and they are given twenty Sues to torture every day. :D

Quote:
 
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how a bestseller is written!


*takes a bow* Why, thank you! We do try... :P

Quote:
 
I think Evie nailed it down perfectly here.


Evie would like to thank you for your vote of confidence. :D

Quote:
 
Please let the headless horseman come and take the Sue's head.


Ooooh! That can be in the sequel! :D

Quote:
 
Small blessings, they save lives and sanity, don't they?


Lives, yes. :D Sanity... well, I think it's a little late for that. ;)

Quote:
 
Good one, Elrohir!

Quote:
 
Atton has a point there, guys.


The guys would like to thank you for the support. Apparently the rest of us do not appreciate their brilliance. :P

Quote:
 
As much as I hate to say it, Elrohir's right. The Suethor will probably add endless wangst of the Sue in Sauron's captivity as his bitch that will give him sons to rule Middle-earth with an iron fist and... I'll stop now


And of course, this will result in endless sequels with pointless plots and increasing stupidity.... as if the original wasn't stupid enough already.

Quote:
 
I thought it was 41, myself...


*grabs copy of The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide* No, it's 42... :unsure:

Quote:
 
Call the PPC while you're at it.


I shall. :D

Quote:
 
I hate it when they promise this. :headwall:


Don't we all? <_< Oh, well- more plentiful source material to make fun of.

Thanks, Refie! :D I'm working on the next chapter, but what with final exams and all coming up, it may be a while.
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jules14
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(Wo)man on a Mission
Quote:
 
Elrohir: These terrible similes destroy our brain cells like sport utility vehicles running over zombies.


That's a much better simile than what the Suethor uses!

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Atton: Especially with a good helping of fried potatoes and some ketchup on the side.


Wow, did Atton turn into an Orc?

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Evie: Instead, the Hobbit lit the straw on fire and cackled manically as it burned the Sue to death.


Go Frodo! :D

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Elrohir: Let out a cry of rage and flew at the Sue, tearing out its hair and clawing at its face…
Don John: Which actions resulted in the unnatural creature falling over backward into a pool of acid.
Atton: The acid slowly ate away at the Sue’s body, while Frodo ate popcorn and watched.
Luthi: Eventually nothing was left of Herenya but a pile of urple sparkles. Frodo was hailed as the great deliverer of Middle-earth, and a huge party was thrown in his honor.
Yvaine: Even Sauron attended, grateful for being rescued from such a pretentious idiot.
Evie: And they all lived happily ever after. The end.


*applause* Wonderful ending!

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Luthi: This is Imladris, Rand, not Blenjeel.


Or Arrakis.

Quote:
 
Evie: Are these visions contagious or something?


Well, they are in "An Elf's Love". Remember that scene with Legolas' and Rosa's auras?

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Atton: I once squished a fly and the splatter it made looked like France.
Luthi: And we care because…?
Atton: Exactly my sentiments about this drivel.


:rofl:

Quote:
 
*alarm goes off*
All: *cover their ears*
Evie: What is that?!
Count Rugan: *over loudspeaker* That is our new Plagiarism Alarm™. I do hope you like it…


I love it! :D Where can I get something like that?

Quote:
 
Luthi: *double takes* She actually knows where that is?


I think the name "Hollin" is listed on the DVD. Don't give the Suethor too much credit. <_<

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Atton: *deadpan* The gripping action is more than I can stand.


Yeah! ROCK DESCRIPTION! That's even more exciting than the kindergarten scene from "Silent Times"!

Quote:
 
Luthi: A Sue-showdown of epic proportions ensued, with Sam and Herenya pounding the living daylights out of each other, and finally falling off a cliff into the middle of an Orc camp.
Elrohir: The Orcs then proceeded to eat them for breakfast. Literally.


Sounds awesome! :D You and your sporkers have great ideas for entertainment, Luthi.

Quote:
 
Atton: *as a confused Pippin* Wait, I’m supposed to impress the Sue faster than you do?
Luthi: *as Boromir* Yes! If we cover her with clay, we’ll get a good impression- and it’ll suffocate to death!


:rofl:

Quote:
 
Luthi: I knew Herenya was a birdbrain!


:lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:
 
*Plagiarism Alarm ™ goes off again, before choking and dying*
Count Rugan: That will take weeks to repair! *grumbles*


I still want one.

Quote:
 
Yvaine: Now poor Legolas is probably dancing around in circles, screaming “It touched me! Bring hot water! Bring disinfectant!”


Did you get that from "The Charlie Brown Christmas"? I love that cartoon!

Great job, especially for your first sporking.







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