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True Luve; Even the title makes me want to hurl....
Topic Started: Aug 17 2010, 09:58 PM (520 Views)
Alya Mírielin
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Resident Twomore of Lancaster CTY
Title: True Luve
Author: Alya Mírielin
Genre: Humor/MST
Text based on: "True Luve" by prinsess of merkwood
Rating: T
Characters: Alya, Azula, Zuko, and Aragorn, plus the Sue and the antagonist.
Summary: Sue gets insulted, runs off, ends up in Arda.
Warnings: You might not be able to read if your inner grammar Nazi even exists.


Azula: *pushes everyone into the theater and locks the door* There!

Zuko: AZULA, WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE...

Alya: Oh, shut it. We're stuck in here anyway. *pulls out Wizard's First Rule*

Azula: *unlocks the door and incinerates Alya's book, then closes and locks the door again*

Alya: NOO! :cry2:

Azula: Today you'll be sporking True Luve!

Everyone: *sighs and sits down*

It all started out as a normal day at skool.


Alya: That looks nothing like a disclaimer.
Zuko: What's skool?
Aragorn: Clearly it's something we've never heard of.


i was siting at lnch wen Velma davies cam up ro me an seed "You r rely ugly u no that?"

Zuko: Azula! You gave us the wrong language! This isn't English!
Azula: It's English.
Alya: :facepalm:


That if corse wuz not true! I wus in fact verry beautiful!

Alya: If corse? What's an if corse?
Aragorn: Beats me. :shrugs:


i am 5'10" an have raven black heir.

Aragorn: She has a black heir? Why does it matter?
Zuko: How can someone in school have an heir?


I wuz actually namd after mu hair.

Alya: Where did she say anything about her hair?
Aragorn: Dunno.
Zuko: *has started blasting the door with fire*


My nme is Raven. anyway, im also very skiny ad most girlz think that i am anerexic but im nut!

Alya: Yes, you are a nut.
Zuko: Hazelnut? :drool:
Aragorn: We're still talking about the girl here.
Zuko: What?! *looks at the screen* Azula, are you SURE this is English?
Alya: Most of the words aren't in the dictionary.


All the girlz at skool dont lyk me becuz they're jealous an all th boys want 2 go out wif me.

Alya: Is there one sentence here that doesn't involve mind-numbing spelling?
Zuko: FATHER! I THINK YOU'RE A BAD LEADER!
Aragorn: What are you doing?
Zuko: Maybe if I get more scars I won't be able to see the screen!
Alya: *to Aragorn* He and his Adar have bad history. :nod:


I also have violet eyes wich nobdy else has.

Alya: SUE!!!!!!!
Zuko: What?
Alya: Sue. <_<


That day i was weering a black leather mini scirt with fishnet tights and a tight partially see though blood red shirt.

Alya: Yessss, Velma stabbed her? :evil:
Aragorn: Umm...no. Her shirt was already red.
Alya: Damn. <_<
Zuko: Scirt?
Alya: Weering?


Ive sen sum poople wear that an look ugly but i cud neva luk ugly!

Zuko: Poople could be taken as an offense. <_<
Alya: You cud neva luk ugly? *sighs* Pass around the brain bleach.
Azula: No bleach!
Alya: :headwall:
Aragorn: Careful you don't hurt yourself.
Zuko: *aside to Aragorn* I think that's what she's trying to do.


Anyway aft Velma seed that i said "i am nut! you're jet jelous because your ugly!11!"

Aragorn: Yes, you're a nut too.
Alya: Wait a minute, did Raven ever say anything to Velma?
Zuko: Nope.
Alya: Great, telepaths. :sarcasm:
Aragorn: Stray 11. :nod:


An then i ran out cryung. i ran in2 te woods behind my skool but i eventually trppied on a root and fel 2 the ground.

Alya: How many grounds are there?
Zuko: I think she means she fell down.
Aragorn: In2? Some kind of code name? :huh:


i lay there crying 4 a while an eventually fell asleep. wen i woke up the sun wuz streaming thru the trees.

Alya: You fell asleep.
Aragorn: In the woods.
Zuko: After tripping over a root.
Alya: And lay there crying.
Aragorn: Over something silly.
Zuko: And pointless.
All: SPARKLEPIRE LOVER!!


i mustve slept 4 a long time i thought. I headed back 2 skool bt i couldn't find it!

Alya: You slept for a long time, and the sun's still up?
Zuko: Wait, how can she go back to school but not be able to find it?
Aragorn: Excessive stupidity. It's right in front of her, you see, but she can't see it.


i was lost in da woods!11! i started cruing again. i hadn cried tis much since mu pedants died.

Alya: Okay, she crues.
Aragorn: How do pedants die?
Zuko: What ARE pedants?
Alya: :shrugs: Beats me, guys.
Aragorn: Plus, there's a stray 11. Again.


sUdenly i herd a crackle ov twigs an jumped up. A beautiful man cam thru the bushes. At lest i thout he wuz a man until i saw is ears. he wuz a elf.

Alya: How do you herd a crackle ov twigs?
Zuko: Easy. You step on a large group of twigs.
Aragorn: Oh Valar, please tell me the elf isn't who I think it is.
Alya: Let's hope so...


For sum reason he looked familiar. Then i reelized tat it was Legolas

Aragorn: NOOO!! What have they done to you, mellonamin?
Alya: *sigh*


(AN: Of course it wus Legolas! He's so hot!11)!

Alya: You do not deserve to type the name Legolas. <_<
Aragorn: Stray --
Zuko: We get it.
Aragorn: 11.
Zuko: Grrr....
Alya: :facepalm:


i was n lord of the rings!

Alya: No, you were in Sweeney Todd. Of course you were in Lord of the Rings, you buffle-headed dumbbell!
Naomi's voice somehow traveling from several hundred miles and a few fandoms away: Hey! Buffle-headed dumbbell is my line!
Alya: :A
Zuko: :rolleyes:


Legolas cam up 2 me an said "watt is a beautiful lady such as yorself doin in te midle od the wood?"

Alya: Nooo, don't do it! She's a Sue!
Aragorn: Please tell me this isn't happening!
Zuko: Beautiful? :X


"i dont know" I said. "I waz in te forest outsid my house and i fell asleep. i woke up here." I lookd up into hiz face and coulddnt tear mu gaze away. He was jus so hansome.

Alya: I thought you just came from school.
Aragorn: She's a teleporting Sue. <_<
Alya: Get out while you can, Legolas.


"Where r u from?" Legolas asked me. "From Riverdale?"

Aragorn: RIVENDELL!
Alya: *sighs* We know.


"i am no elf. how coud I be frum there?"

Alya: Calling you an elf would be an insult to Elves everywhere.
Aragorn: She doesn't even deserve to be called an Orc! <_<


"You look like a elf to me."

a elf? i reechoed up to tuch mu eery an they wer indead pointed.

Alya: What's an eery?
Aragorn: I think it's plural.
Alya: What are eery?
Zuko: This is torture. <_<


"Come wit me to Riverdae. I am heeded ther to atend a secret counsil." Legolas said.

Alya: What an idiotic Suethor! Elven princes don't just invite people who appear randomly out of mid-air to secrel councils! :facepalm:
Aragorn: Wait till Legolas hears about this...



Azula: All right, you're done for today!
Alya: Wait, what?
Aragorn: What kind of chapter ending was that?
Zuko: Whoever wrote that must be both eight years old and woefully undereducated. :facepalm:

All: *exit*

(Review here)
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Alya Mírielin
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Resident Twomore of Lancaster CTY
Azula: *drags everyone into the theater*
Aragorn: NO! I will NOT go through this again! *runs for the door*
Azula: *closes and locks the door* Too bad! You're doing it!
All: <_< *take a seat*

A/N: I hat u flamrs!1111!

Aragorn: Stray 1111.
Alya: Well, who said we wanted you to like us?
Zuko: We don't need Suethors to like us!
Aragorn: We also don't need Legolas-destroyers to like us.


mu stor is gret!

Alya: Sure it is. :sarcasm:
Aragorn: Gret?
Zuko: Don't ask.


You're al jus men flmers whu cant rite!11!

Alya: Hey, I'm a girl!
Aragorn: And we can....why would we have a rite?
Zuko: No more rites. Had enough of them with father.
Aragorn: Oh, and stray 11.


i don ned a beta!

Alya: Either you're reluctant to admit you're wrong....
Aragorn: Or you're the stupidest being in existence.
Zuko: I like Aragorn's option.


u jus h8 my stry becuz youre stoys r horibl!11!

Aragorn: Stray 11. And are you going to flame us or write your story?
Alya: I'd rather read her insults than her story.



Wen they reched Riverdall leogols lifted Raven of od his hors.

Alya: And left her there with the marauding gang of Orcs.
Aragorn: We wish. <_<
Zuko: No Orcs in Rivendell. *beat* Oh sorry, RIVERDALL. :sarcasm:


lord Elroad came ou 2 greet the.

Aragorn: And stabbed the Sue through the heart.
Alya: Don't we all want that. <_<


"Welcom 2 Revandell mu laid!" he sad. "We hac been waiting 4 u. cum Awen wil show u 2 your rum."

Alya: Elrond speaks text?
Aragorn: He most certainly does not!
Zuko: Somehow I don't think he'd actually associate that....WORD with his daughter.
Alya: They have rum in Rivendell? *is thinking about things associated with rum*
Zuko: Apparently.
Aragorn: We most certainly do not! *beat* We all know what you're thinking, Alya.
Alya: :whistle:



"i'll c u later then Legolas" I siad. i folowed aren 2 my room.

Aragorn: It's ARWEN!
Alya: After reading a certain series with the name Aren in it, I'm pretty sure you can't follow a ring.


It wuz beautiful!1! it was bigger tha anu other beroom i had evr been in!

Aragorn: And it concealed Gollum, who thought you had the Ring. Oh, and stray 1.

I flopped don on te bed. i was socked!

Alya: Who's don?
Zuko: Why is she talking about mafia?
Aragorn: There are no mafia gangs in Rivendell!


I hadnt expekted th bes her 2 b so soft.

Alya: The best her is soft?
Aragorn: Should we know what that means?


It was th sofest bed i had ever been in! i ten saw te dreser.

Aragorn: Please let the bed be quicksand!
Alya: And the dresser was full of scorpions.
Zuko: Wishful thinking.



I opned it an looked inside. it wuz ful od beautiful elfish dreses!

Alya: Snooping in other people's dressers?
Aragorn: Not nice.


I emediatly wanted 2 try one on.

Alya: Trying on other people's clothes?
Aragorn: Insane.


I pulled out a forrest gren 1. It fit perfecly!

Alya: *bored voice* You're a Sue. Everything fits you.
Aragorn: Get outta that dress.


It wus sim in da waste an had a seer puff seaves.

Alya: They have SIMS in Imladris?
Aragorn: Whats?
Alya: Never mind.
Zuko: You're a waste, not the dress.
Alya: Seer puff seaves?
Aragorn: Obviously the seaves had second sight. :sarcasm:


it had pattens od levees on the boddice.

Alya: Do you even know what a bodice is?
Aragorn: Levees?
Alya: *starts singing*
So bye-bye miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin' "this'll be the day that I die".

Ross's voice from several hundred miles and a few fandoms away: STOP SINGING AMERICAN PIE ALREADY!
Alya: *shouts back* SHUT UP, I'M SPORKING!


Ther waz a greeen beeded belt were te bodise an the skert od the dresss connected.

Alya: I thought you said it was a bodice, now it's a bodise?
Aragorn: Of course the skirt connected. That's why it's called a dress and not a skirt and shirt!


there was a liter green stripe od fsbric don te cener of the script. wit darke gren ob the otsid.

Alya: I don't understand a word you're saying.
Aragorn: She's saying that the green stripe has a script.
Zuko: And Astrid got a grenade...wait, that doesn't sound right.
Alya: :facepalm:




A few minute latter aRWEN came. Se tol mu tat it waz time 4 the counsil.

Alya: Didn't the council happen in the "grey morning"?
Aragorn: Yup.


we wlked ootside to the meeeting plac. Awen ten left.

Alya: Real descriptive. :sarcasm:

Legolas beackoned mr 2 a seet nex 2 him. i came an sat down.

Aragorn: On one of Legolas' knives, I hope.

Elong ten stared speeking. Strangers form didn't lans freds od old…. i tunned owt.

Alya: Oi, that part's important!
Aragorn: It's lyk, to borng 4 da Sue!
Zuko: Ugh, PLEASE! It's already bad enough without you doing it too!


I did so nil gimi da stuid dwarve gut up an treed 2 mash da rin.

Alya: Stupid dwarf killed 43 Orcs at Helm's Deep. Conclusion, he cannot be stupid.
Aragorn: He didn't tree to mash the Ring, he tried to break it.



Then evrybody tarted yelling. i finaly too up an seed "Shut up!11! al dis aging wll get uz nowhere!111!"

Alya: You seeded something?
Aragorn: Stray 111.
Zuko: Aging will get us nowhere?
Alya: It's getting you older.
Aragorn: :rolleyes:



"Food te hobbit ten stood up and said "i will tak te rin 2 moror!"

Alya: While Hobbits do indeed enjoy food, I don't think there's a Hobbit named Food.
Aragorn: Moror?
Alya: One does not simply walk in and eat Maror.


Ganlaf, Legolas, arargon, boomomir an i ten joined the quest.

Aragorn: Ganlaf?
Alya: Boomomir? *snickers*


Ten da hobbits ran up an seead tehy waned 2 jon 2. Elonder aloud teem 2 cum.

Alya: Yes, but they didn't ask for that. They wanted to go on the Quest!


i new they woud b useless though.

Alya: You, Suethor, do NOT deserve to write fanfiction! :immature:
Aragorn: Right, so the King of Rohan, White Lady of Rohan, and Faramir don't matter. <_<


"Ten communions. you all b te fellowship od te rinnnd!"



Alya: You can spell "fellowship" right, and yet you can't spell companions or Ring?
Aragorn: Communions? I don't think so.


"Ten communions. you all b te fellowship od te rinnnd!"

NO MOOORE FLAMRS!111!

Alya: FLAMEFLAMEFLAME!!!!
Aragorn: *bored voice* Stray 111.
Azula: And that's the end!
All: *run out of the theater*



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