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Eomer&Kahlen; Eomermance? Legomance?
Topic Started: Aug 22 2010, 04:05 AM (430 Views)
MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Title: Eomer&Kahlen
Author: MackenzieW
Genre: Humor/MST
Text based on: "Eomer&Kahlen" by Nikki Kris
Rating: T
Characters: The gang, Voldemort, Lord of the Rings cast, Sue
Summary: Kahlen is the daughter of Denethor and is in love with Eomer of Rohan. Or is she really in love with Legolas? I don't know. Neither does the authros.
Warnings: Possibly a Legomance. Not entirely sure.

"Pointless Drivel"

Narrator: A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Mackenzie: That’s the Star Wars prologue.
Narrator: Which one? A New Hope?
Mackenzie: It’s Star Wars. Not “A New Hope”
Narrator: Sorry. Anyway…Last week in your own galaxy, a young fanfiction author and reader decided to spork a badfic. Unfortunately, her friend accidentally said the name of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. A pack of Death Eaters promptly kidnapped her and her other companions and brought them to their master.
Mackenzie: Aren’t you dead?
Voldemort: Shut up.
Narrator: He decided that as their punishment, they would be locked up in some remote room in Malfoy Manor and be forced to read badfics for an undetermined amount of time. These poor saps are: Mackenzie, our heroine.
Mac: Hey, Moldy-Voldy.
Remus Lupin, recently departed werewolf
Remus: But I’m not a ghost?
Sai, the Ronin Warrior of Trust with a fascination with sea life
Sai: I’ve got my fish now!
Quatre, the youngest Gundam pilot
Quatre: This isn’t good.
Erik, the Phantom of the Opera
Erik: Will…get…revenge…on…Phantom’s Ange.
Octavius, a talking penguin
Octavius: You gotta problem with that?
And occasionally joined by Jareth, the Goblin King.
Jareth: Voldemort and I go way back.
Will they get out alive?
Mackenzie: I hope so.
Only time will tell.

“I still can’t believe you broke your toe!”

“Sai, if you say that one more time, I’m going to kill you,” Erik said, hitting the younger man. “And that’s only because Mackenzie can’t.”

“Oh, no, I think I can kill him,” she replied, glaring at Sai. “I’ll just borrow House’s cane and beat him to death with it.” She then leveled the glare at everyone in the room. “Look, I like sympathy and hell yes I’m playing this for all it’s worth. But let me get one thing clear: I broke my toe. I’m not an invalid!”

Remus rubbed her arm. “We know you’re not an invalid,” he said, before checking his tone. “Sorry. Look, you tend to mother hen us when we need it. Can’t you let us do the same?”

“Yes,” Mackenzie said. “I love for you guys to mother hen me for a change. But if Sai says he can’t believe I broke my toe ONE more time, I am going to beat him senseless with House’s cane. And I know he’ll help me hide the body. So would Jack, come to think of it. And he’ll bring Ianto, so we’ll have no problem with transport…”

“Okay, you’re going off on a tangent,” Remus said, bringing Mackenzie back to reality.

“You call that a tangent?” Sai asked. “I call that a bloody murder plot.”

“It was a bloody murder plot,” Mackenzie shot back.

The squabble was interrupted when the siren blared from the bookcase, casting a green glow in the room. The bookcase moved back as the occupants look on, confused. “We’ve got…badfic sign?” Mackenzie announced, frowning.

“That’s odd. Usually Voldemort tells us he’s giving us a badfic before the siren goes off,” Quatre commented.

Voldemort stepped into the room. “Well, I thought it her condition, the blonde one would like some time to get to the theater,” he said.

“How…considerate?”

“I’ll tell the men about the project,” he said. “You can find out in the theater.”

“Thanks, let me just hobble down there,” Mackenzie replied. She gingerly got out of bed with some help from Remus and started to limp down the pathway to the theater.

Voldemort turned to the rest of the group. “I found another Lord of the Rings badfic!” he announced.

“Why doesn’t that surprise anyone in this room?” Erik asked, bored.

Voldemort ignored him. “Now, enjoy!” he said, motioning to the path Mackenzie had just limped down.

*The gang settles down in their chairs.*
Remus: So, what are we reading?
Mac: Eomer & Kaylen by Nikki Kris.
Sai: I’m scared.
Mac: Chapter One—Start.


It was a warm day in Edoras,
Erik: Shall we break out the lemonade?

yet a cool wind stood upon the hill in which Edoras stood. The battle for Helms Deep
Mac: Okay, we now know when we are. Proceed.

proved victorious for the peoples of Middle-Earth, and now the celebration
Quatre: We’re starting off with a party? Awesome!
Mac: Lower the disco ball!
*Disco ball lowers as music plays*


was to take place at Edoras, the capitol
Mac: Wrong spelling of “capital”.

of Rohan.

Villagers were preparing for the celebration, which was to take place in a few hours, while soldiers prepared to take rounds guarding Edoras.
Sai: So wait, the people who won the battle won’t get to celebrate?
Mac: That sucks.


The Great Hall was featured with magnificent banners covering the walls, long wooden tables were lined in rows complete with wooden benches, statues were placed throughout the hall, and candles surrounded the place. Servants were running around the Great Hall filling it with breads, meats, vegetables, fruits, wines and ale,
All: Yum…

preparing for the celebration.

A single woman sat on one of the benches, reading a letter. Concern and frustration filled her bright blue eyes
All: Uh oh. Sue.

as she scanned the letter over and over.
Mac (Sue): Dur, what does it say?

She heard footsteps approaching and felt a hand caress her shoulder.
Mac: Thing? I thought this was a Lord of the Rings fanfic?

"Another letter from your father?"

"Yes, Eomer," she answered him.
Erik: Oh, Eomer.
Remus: Run, Eomer! Run!


Eomer sat down next to her and stared at the letter, "he
Gertrude: Capital.

pleads for your return?"
Mac (Sue): No, he surprisingly says that I can stay here as long as I want.

"Of course. He says I need to leave now before the peril of Middle-Earth becomes greater."
Remus: You’re there. There’s something worse?

"He's right, but it's too dangerous now to leave."

"I understand that," she explained. "But my father and brother need me."
Sai: Oh great. A soap opera.

"Perhaps, but you can't make a journey that far on your own." She stared at him apprehensively.

"We'll talk about this later, Kaylen.
Mac: Oh Middle-earth. *Rolls eyes*

Even if you can't make the trip, I'm sure Denethor will understand."
All: DENETHOR?

Eomer explained to her, kissing her forehead.
*Remus hands a bag to Erik*

Kaylen, the daughter of Denethor,
Mac: So, let me get this straight. Denethor has two sons named Boromir and Faramir but a daughter named Kaylen? Who is in Rohan? What?

stared at him distraught. "I suppose, but I feel that my people need me."
All (Gondorians) No, we don’t.

"Rohan are your people, too."
All (Rohirrim): Phew, at least he wasn’t talking about us.

"Yes, I'm aware of this. I'm also aware that the enemy moves closer to Minas Tirith everyday, putting my people and family at risk.
Quatre: Well, at least you know that.

If Minas Tirith is to fall, I will fall with it.
Erik: You are connected to the city? Seriously?

Minas Tirith is the last frontier for Middle-Earth.
Mac: That isn’t what the phrase means. You want “last defense.”

I expect Rohan will help fight for the peoples of Middle-Earth."
Mac: I’m starting to see why men kept women out of politics.

"That is not my decision, but hopefully, this war can reunite everyone."
All: Uh huh.

She took the letter and folded it neatly. She took her goblet and took a drink of her wine.
Octavius: Riveting.

"Drinking this early?" He asked her, jokingly.
Mac: It’s five o’clock somewhere, right?
Remus: Wish we were drinking.


"It's just a bit of wine," she answered with a small smile.
Mac: That’s what they all say.

"Come, the celebration is to start soon. We need to get out of everyone's way so they can set up."
Mac (Servants): No, stay, we’re done anyway no thanks to you.

Kaylen stood up and took Eomer's hand as they began walking out of the Great Hall.

"Love, I need to change for the night. I'll meet up with you in a couple minutes," she told him.
Remus: Minutes?
Sai: Try hours.
Mac: I’m not that bad.
Remus: Regularly. But when you dress up…
Mac: Okay, point.


He bid her farewell as she left to change.

She changed into her evening gown, a cream colored dress with gold and silver rhinestones
All: Rhinestones?
Mac: Oh, to think the height of fashion is to have RHINESTONES sewn into your dress.


embedded in the seams of the front of the gown, which bared her neckline and rose just above her chest. She placed a loose light, golden belt around her waist, which draped in front of the gown.
Erik: Description fail.

She brushed her dark, golden hair
Mac (sighs): Gondorians have dark black hair. Your description makes it sound like Kaylen should be in Rohan.

and began walking out her room to meet with Eomer, once more.

She gasped in surprise as she accidentally bumped into someone around the corner.
All: Assassin?

"Sorry, forgive me," she looked up and became frozen.
Mac: Medusa? No way!

"Kaylen."

"Legolas."
Remus: Oh no. Not the elf.

She said, staring at the person she had bumped into.

They stared at each other in silence.
Mac: Riveting.
Erik: How utterly stupid.
Remus: Why am I thinking they had a past relationship?
Mac: Because it’s Legolas.
Remus: Good answer.
Quatre: Let’s go.
*All leave*

You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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MackenzieW
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"Like Sands Through the Hour Glass..."

*Remus helps Mackenzie into the theater and into her seat*
Mac: Thank you.
Remus: You’re welcome.
Sai: You’re such a dad.
Remus: Shut. Up.
Mac: Boys! Chapter Two: Complication.
Sai: I was kidding about the soap opera!
Remus: Oh Jonas, Legolas is involved, I just know it.


Legolas and Kaylen continued staring at each other.
Mac: Staring contest!

"Can I speak with you?" Legolas asked her.

"Of course," the answer had come out of her mouth without her even knowing.
Mac (Sue): But the real question is “May you speak with me?”

She followed Legolas outside of the Great Hall. They took cover to the side of the Great Hall,
Sai: What? Was Edoras under fire?

where they sat down. The wind blew both of their golden hair back,
Quatre: Oh, that’s why she’s a blonde!

the cool breeze making Kaylen shiver.

She stared at Legolas who didn't seem to be effected
Mac: Affected. A-F-F-E-C-T-E-D.

by the weather.

"Of course," she said. "I forgot weather doesn't really effect Elves."
Erik: It does. They aren’t superheroes, you know.

Legolas gave her a weak smile and stared at her. "How are you?"
Octavius: Oh no. Small talk.

"I'm fine," she lied to him, thinking of her father and brother. "Yourself?"

"Fine," he lied back.
*All groan*

"Legolas, you have the fine traits of an Elf, but you are a terrible liar." She told him, smiling.
Remus: This is edge-of-your-seat exciting.
Octavius: Not.


"You always knew how to catch me in a lie."
Sai: So they’re old friends.
Mac: I highly doubt they were just “friends.”


"What's troubling you?"

"I miss you," he told her, avoiding eye contact with her.
Mac: Mm-hmm.

"Legolas, I thought we were past this?"
Mac: Mm-hmm.

"You're the only woman I've ever loved,
Mac: Told you so.

it's hard for me to move on."
Remus: Cue the soap opera music.
*Octavius turns it on*


"Are you going to be all right?" She asked, worried. "With the…heart break?"
*Mackenzie falls on the floor laughing.*

"I don't let it effect me, but it's hard seeing you with another man."
Sai: Someone get the world’s smallest violin, please.

"Legolas, we ended this years ago.
Remus: Do I want to know how old this Sue is?
Sai: Probably not.
Quatre: Should we be worried about Mackenzie?
Remus: Nah, she’s just laughing.


I don't understand. It effected me for sometime but I had to move on. There was no hope."

"There could have been," he tried reasoning.
Erik: She’s a Sue. You’re barking up the wrong tree, there.

"Not for me."

"Kay?"
Quatre: She has a nickname.
*Mackenzie pops up*
Mac: What?


Eomer had appeared from behind them.
Sai: Eomer is magic.

She turned around and stood up, looking at Eomer.

Eomer stared at Legolas with suspicion and dislike.
Erik: When will the fistfight start?

"Come. We must prepare for the feast," he continued. He took one last look at Legolas and walked away.

"I suppose we will continue this conversation another time, Legolas." Kaylen told him. She put her hand on his hand and stared at him. "I'm sorry things had to turn out this way, but know that it wasn't my intent."
Mac: We need a studio audience to go “aww.”

She walked away into the Great Hall, where Eomer was standing waiting for her.

"What was that about?" He asked her, suspiciously.

"Complication." She responded, "sorry I kept you waiting."

"I don't trust him with you," he snapped.
Erik: Someone is a tad possessive.
Remus: And you wrote the book on that.
Erik: Trapping a girl’s suitor in a torture chamber because you want her is possessive?
Others: YES!


"Please, don't start this again. You not trusting him with me makes me think that you do not trust me."
Sai: Well, you are a Sue…

"That isn't what I meant," he retorted angrily.

"Eomer, please. I have enough worries at the moment. Just drop it," she seemed flustered, not looking at Eomer.
Erik: Oh boy, they’re fighting.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you."

"It's fine, you didn't. There's nothing to worry about, though. Please trust me."
Sai: I wouldn’t trust her as far as I can throw her, Eomer.
Quatre (to Mac): Are you going to sit back down?
Mac: Maybe.


"I do trust you," he answered her, kissing her cheek.

The Great Hall began to fill as eager soldiers and villagers awaited the celebration.
Erik: Let’s start the countdown!

Eomer bid Kaylen farewell as he had to stand with his uncle, King Theoden, and sister, Eowyn, at the head of the hall, while King Theoden gave a speech.
Mac: The horror! They have to be separate for a few minutes!
Sai: Legolas will swoop in and sweep Kaylen off her feet.


The Great Hall filled up and the celebration was about to begin.
Erik: The wait is killing me!
Mac: Chapter’s over!
Erik: Argh!
Mac: Can someone help me up?
*They all leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Sue Gets Hurt."

*They all enter the theater*
Erik: I’m still waiting for that party.
Sai: Me too.
Mac: Chapter 3: Departure. Gate Fifty.
Sai: Is that part of the title?
*All just stare at him. He hits himself*


The celebration lasted throughout the night.
All: Woo!
*Disco balls spins and music plays*
All: Party!


Laughter and cheer filled the air and carried throughout Rohan.
Mac: Conga line!
*All do one around the theater, including Blaise Zabiani.*


The late night event involving Pippin and the Palantir signaled Kaylen that it was time to depart for home.
Quatre: Hey, if the party lasted through the night, how could Pippin have the episode with Palantir?
Mac: Logic?
Quatre: Right.


"You are to leave for Gondor?" Legolas asked her.

"Yes," she answered, stopping in the Great Hall to speak with him.
Sai: Oh, how blessed is Legolas! The Sue deigned him worthy to speak to him!

"It'll be a dangerous journey, but alas you will have Gandalf with you."
*All facepalm*
Octavius: Alas! You will have an Istar with you. He is only a demi-god! Alas! Alack!


She smiled weakly.

"I want you to take this," Legolas handed her his knives from Mirkwood.
Remus and Mac: Of course he did.

"They have seen battle and have served me well. If you are to face any danger, you'll need protection."

She smiled at him and hugged him, "thank
All: Capital.

you for everything, Legolas."

She walked out of the Great Hall and saw Eomer waiting for her outside, looking distraught.
Sai: Uh oh, possessive streak coming.

"You can't ask me to let you leave," Eomer pleaded with her.
Mac (Sue): Okay, I wasn’t going to.

"We'll be together soon, I promise you."
*Remus hands a bag to Erik and keeps one for himself*

Eomer embraced her, holding her tightly.
*Sai taps Remus’ shoulder. He hands the man a bag*

A single tear fell down Kaylen's face.
Mac: Oh, that single tear. Sue staple.

She quickly wiped it away as she let go of Eomer's hug and stared at him.
Mac: Cue the wind in the hair and soft, sad music!

"I'll see you soon," she kissed his cheek, took her pack and began walking to the stables to meet Gandalf and Pippin. Eomer slowly began walking away and stopped. He looked back to see her walking towards the stables.

"Not like this," he said to himself.
Octavius: Not like what?

He began running towards her, "Kay," he called out.
Mac: Oh, now the soft, sad music picks up tempo and volume.

She turned around and felt Eomer's arms wrap around her. He grabbed her face and kissed her like he never had before.
Mac: And now the music crescendos!

She looked up at him, bewildered by his actions.

"I couldn't let you leave without you knowing-," he began.
*Mackenzie reaches over and takes a sappy sickness bag for herself and Quatre*
Erik: Gentlemen…and Lady…assume the position!


"I know." She cut him off. "I love you, too, Eomer."
*All throw up*

"Take Firefoot.
Mac: He’s giving her his horse?

He's fast and strong and will keep you safe so long as you let him," Eomer told her.Erik: Or trample you because you’re a Sue.

"Eomer, I couldn't possibly take him from you," she replied, shocked by his command.
Sai: And afraid the horse would trample her.

"You're not taking him, I'm offering him to you for protection." He explained, "it'll make me feel more at ease if you do."

She nodded and walked with him to the stables. Eomer helped her prepare Firefoot for the journey as Gandalf prepared Shadowfax. Gandalf mounted Shadowfax as Kaylen lifted Pippin to sit in front of Gandalf.
Mac: How nice of her.
Remus: Blegh.


"It is time," Gandalf told her.

Kaylen turned her gaze away from Gandalf onto Eomer. She placed her hands on his shoulders, "we'll see each other soon."
Octavius: Good Jonas, I hope not.

He gave her a gentle kiss and helped her mount Firefoot.

Gandalf, Pippin and Kaylen then rode out of the stables into the fields of Rohan, beginning their journey to Minas Tirith.
Quatre: Someone warn the city!

Eomer, Merry by his side, stood at the gate watching them melt away into the distance.
Mac (Wicked Witch): Melting, I’m melting! What a world! What a world!

The journey was a four day ride as the Nazgul flies.
Erik: Copying the movie dialogue. Fail.

Trying to make it as quickly as they could, they stopped as little as possible and rode through the day and night. Passing the fields of Rohan and Gondor, the trip passed quicker than Kaylen anticipated. They were finally approaching Osgiliath. Kaylen stared in horror as she saw smoke and darkness above Osgiliath.
Octavius (Smokey the Bear): Only you can prevent forest fires.

It's under attack, she thought to herself.
Mac: Or that.

The piercing cry of the Nazgul sounded from above. Kaylen then saw the remaining soldiers from Gondor begin retreating Osgiliath
Gertrude: There seems to be a missing preposition there.

and riding towards Minas Tirith. Without a look back, she began riding forward to search for her brother.

"Kaylen! Fall back!" Gandalf screamed from behind her.

Kaylen then realized she was in range of the Orc archers in Osgiliath.
*Erik perks up and grabs popcorn*

She turned away to get out of range, but it was too late.
*Remus takes a bag of popcorn*

An arrow caught her by surprise, piercing her in the arm.
*Mackenzie now takes a bag*

Crack.

She screamed in agony as the sharp arrow pierced her shoulder.
*Sai now takes a bag of popcorn*

She grabbed the arrow and ripped it out, screaming louder.

"Kaylen! Keep riding!"

Kaylen felt the pain in her shoulder, now realizing it had been dislocated.
Mac (thinking of toe): Ouch.
*Quatre grabs a bag of popcorn*


She continued riding as fast as she could towards the gate of Minas Tirith. Gandalf was somehow holding off the Ringwraiths and Orcs,
Erik: Super Gandalf!

but Kaylen was in too much pain to turn around and see how he was doing it. The gates of Minas Tirith began opening.
Remus (Guard): It’s a Sue!
Sai (Guard): Quick, close the gates!


"Faster, Firefoot," she said as she started becoming dizzy.
*Everyone munches on popcorn*

She began losing eyesight
Quatre: I’M BLIND!

and started slumping forward, using Firefoot's neck for support.

She quickly rode through the gates and into the main courtyard of Minas Tirith.

"Aid her!" Gandalf shouted from behind.
Remus (Guard): Kill her? Okay!

She slid off her horse, limping to the ground. Two guards ran up to her and helped her keep her balance.
Octavius: It’s taking this girl a long time to go down.

"She needs attention, quickly!" Gandalf commanded them.

"Yes, Gandalf," one of the guards answered. "Come quickly, Lady Kaylen."

"Kaylen!"

Kaylen turned around in joy, trying to forget about the pain.
Erik: No, give in!

Tears streamed down her face, "Faramir!"
All: RUN AWAY! RUN!

He ran over to her and embraced her. She let out of a scream of pain,
All: WOOT!

then Faramir saw her wound.

"What happened?" he asked.
Erik: The PPC failed. Again.

"She can explain later, she needs help quickly, her shoulder has been dislocated."
Mac: And she was hit with an arrow which is probably poisoned. And probably the same poison that drove Celebrian to Valinor, so the Sue…will probably survive because Sues are indestructible.

Faramir then stared at Gandalf, noticing Pippin.

"Faramir?" Gandalf asked, suspiciously. "This is not the first Halfing you have seen?"

"No," he answered quickly.
Remus: He didn’t really want to think about the time he ended up in Hobbiton, drunk as a skunk!

Faramir explained his story to Gandalf as quick as he could. "Gandalf, I'll explain more but I must tend to my sister."

"I'll meet you in the House of Healing after I've spoken with your father."
All: Good luck.

Gandalf then rode off through the stories of Minas Tirith to meet with the Steward of Gondor.

One of the guards had sat Kaylen on his horse and began riding quickly to the House of Healing. Faramir followed behind him, leading Firefoot with his reigns, behind him.

"Please, let me see him," Kaylen said faintly to the guard, holding onto him.
All: Who?

"Were almost there, my lady," he replied back to her.

She began fading away.
*All resume their popcorn munching*

Is this the end? She thought.
Mac: Jonas, we hope so!

Kaylen, you're so stupid.
Erik: That goes without saying.

You knew you were in range of their archers.

Then without another thought or sound, she fell into a dark sleep.
All: WOOT!
Quatre: Wait! Pretentious Words from the Author!


Writer's
Remus: Writer’s. Not even Author…just Writer.

Note: Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while!
All: That’s okay.

I've been so busy with work and classes! I'll try to squeeze in more writing,
Remus: No, that’s okay!

but it's been so hard lately!
Sai: Then don’t strain yourself.
Erik: Really.

Thanks for the feedback! Enjoy!
Quatre: Yeah, not.
Mackenzie: Come, let me get a head start.
*Erik picks her up*
Erik: This is easier.
*All leave*
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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MackenzieW
Member Avatar
Resident Time Lady
"Is It a Dream? Is It a Flashback? No, Seriously, What Is It? We Can't Tell."

*Everyone returns, Erik still carrying Mackenzie*
Mac: I can walk.
Erik: You hop. If I carry you, you’re here sooner. Then we can start sooner. And then we can finish sooner and get drunk quicker.
Mac: Fair argument. Chapter 4: Unexpected Departure
Remus: Maybe the Sue does die.


The woods of Mirkwood
Mac: How did we get there from Minas Tirith?
Remus: Teleportation?


glittered as the sun crept its beams through the many, green trees.
Mac: Then it would go back to being called Greenwood. It was called MIRKwood for a reason! It was dark and evil!

The soft birds sounded lightly as Legolas and Kaylen walked through the woods together.
Remus: If it’s Mirkwood, those aren’t birds.

"I could spend the rest of my life here. It's so beautiful," Kaylen stated as she looked up into the trees.
Mac (Sue): You know, once you get past the killer spiders.

"I was hoping that you would," Legolas responded, "with me."
Sai: Legolas just proposed.
Mac: Is she supposed to be with Eomer or Legolas?
Remus: It’s a Sue.
Mac: Legolas.


"That's a bold statement," she replied with a smile. "Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with a human?
Erik: Is…Is that logic?
Mac: No…
Remus: Quick! See if pigs can fly!


Clearly, you would die of a heartbreak after I die."
Sai: Sense! Sense!

"Shouldn't love be enough?"
Remus: And Logic dies. Again.

"I suppose you're right."
Octavius: No, no he’s wrong!

She gave a weak smile and stared ahead. "I always knew how to be pessimistic, didn't I?"
Quatre: Pessimistic and realistic are two different things.

Legolas smiled and took her hand as they continued walking.

"My father speaks very highly of you,
Mac: Which begs the question—why would Kaylen be in Mirkwood? I can’t see Thranduil and Denethor being all chummy.

you love Mirkwood,
Mac: Well, the Suethor’s Disney-version of it.

you love me," he began, "isn't this enough for two people to spend the rest of their lives together?"
All: No.

"It is, but my mortality has always been a struggle for our relationship, Legolas."
Mac: Which is why most elves married OTHER elves.

She replied. "You know this."

"Break free from it," he told her.
Erik: This conversation is so stupid!

"It does not bother me, therefore it shouldn't bother you."
Remus: That doesn’t follow logically.

"Perhaps, one day."

They continued walking through the woods of Mirkwood, admiring its beauty. They approached the towns of Mirkwood and were greeted by chaos.
Mac: Now that’s more like it!

Frantic screams and smoke became visible from ahead. Kaylen stared, horrified.

"Legolas, what is happening?"
Quatre: Godzilla is on the loose!
Mac: The epic battle of Team Edward vs. Team Jacob.


"Orcs."
Quatre: Dun dun dun!

He took her hand and began walking quickly to his room.
Mac: His room was randomly in the middle of Mirkwood?

He began gathering his bow and knives, preparing to defend Mirkwood.

"Celemir!" He called out.
Mac: Huh. She actually gave an Elf a Sindarin name.
Sai: Yet still calls her Sue “Kaylen.”


An Elf ran into his room.

"Begin gathering food and water and ready two horses. Hurry! Now!" He ordered the Elf.
All: Why?

"What's going on?" Kaylen asked, "where are we going?"
Erik: That’s what we want to know!

"You and Celemir will ride to Minas Tirith. Mirkwood won't be safe for a while."
Remus: That’s actually rational.

"What? No. I'm staying with you." She demanded instantly.
Remus: And that’s typical for a Sue. I mean, irrational.

"I won't allow this, you'll be safe in your city.
Octavius: Oh yes, she’ll be safer in the city that’s right next-door to Mordor.

I'll come for you when it is safe again."
Sai (Legolas): Hopefully, your city will still be standing!

"Legolas, I'm not-"

"Kaylen, if you love me you'll do what I say and return to Minas Tirith.
Remus: Ordering her around? Like that’ll work.

I can't have you in danger. I love you and will come back for you."
Mac: Yeah, and the check’s in the mail.

Celemir had returned to the room. "Food and water are prepared, Prince Legolas."

"You'll take Kaylen and yourself. Take the safe passage to Minas Tirith
Quatre: As opposed to…?

and make sure
Mac: Formatting fail.

she returns there safely."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Legolas, please don't do this to me," she pleaded with him.
Erik (Sue): Don’t care for my general well-being!

"I will come back for you," he told her, rubbing her cheek. "I promise."
Octavius: Sadly, he had his fingers crossed behind his back.

He looked at Celemir, "go," he ordered.

Kaylen's eyes begin swelling with tears.
*Quatre offers his tissue box*

"When will I see you again?"
All: Never.

"As soon as possible," he answered. "Leave now while the time is nigh."

With great hesitation and sadness, she grabbed her cloak and ran out the door with Celemir as the departed the burning forests of Mirkwod.
Mac: Oh! This isn’t really Mirkwood! It’s Mirkwod!
Men: Ahh.


Kaylen opened her eyes and saw Faramir staring at her.
Mac: Wait…What?
Quatre: I’m confused.
Sai: Join the club.


"Finally awake, sister," he spoke.
Erik: Was that…a dream sequence? Flashback?
Remus: I’m not sure.


He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "How do you feel?"
All: Confused.

"I was such a fool," she said quietly.
All: Oh, yes.

"I was such a fool to stay in range of their archers."
Mac: Oh, you were talking about that. We were talking about…never mind.

"You were always so stubborn," he said, smiling at her.
Erik: It’s because she’s a Sue.

"I missed you so much," tears slowly poured down her face.
*Quatre brings out the tissue box again*

Faramir wiped them off with his hand, "I missed you. It does me good to see you."
Sai (Faramir) Even if as a woman, you’ve traveled more than Boromir and I.

I was such a fool to believe he would come back for me,
Mac: Told you…The check’s never in the mail.

she thought to herself as her mind lingered to her dream.
Remus: Oh, so it was a dream.
Erik: It’s over.
Mac: Let’s go! *Holds up arms and Erik picks her up. They all leave*


Erik deposited Mackenzie back on her bed. “Comfortable?” Remus asked. Mackenzie nodded in response. “Do you need anything?” Mackenzie shook her head. “Okay, we’re all at your beck and call.” Mackenzie smiled wickedly; Remus gulped. “I’m going to regret that statement, aren’t I?” he asked.

Sai clapped his hand on Remus’ back. “Oh, we’re all going to regret that statement,” he replied.

The door opened. Morgoth entered, carrying a basket. “Oh my Jonas, did you make me a get-well-soon-basket?” Mackenzie asked.

“Yes and Ari forced me to just put chocolate chip cookies in it,” he said, handing the basket over to her. “I don’t know why. My other cookies are perfectly fine.”

“And deadly,” Sai muttered under his breath.

“So, get well soon and enjoy! Where’s Voldemort?” Morgoth asked. The others could only shrug in response. “Ahh, I’ll find him.”

As Morgoth left, Mackenzie doled out her treats. “I think I could get used to having a broken toe,” she mused.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


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