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| An Epitomy to myself from Legolas.; Read at own risk | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 18 2010, 07:38 AM (269 Views) | |
| Arya Svit-Kona | Dec 18 2010, 07:38 AM Post #1 |
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Resident Nutcase
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"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Arya grumbled while covering her head with a pillow to avoid hearing the sporking alarm. "Up!" Lillybelle's voice came through the padding of the pillow and seconds later she felt the pillow being ripped from her grasp. "Beastie!" Arya shot up from her place, lying on the couch. "Haven't you learned not to get me up when I've stayed up all night?" "No!" Lillybelle grinned down at Arya. "Now get up. It was your own fault you stayed up all night!" "No it wasn't, it was that stupid movie!" Arya muttered as she pushed herself off the couch. "What are we sporking this time?" "You'll see! Galbatorix has a few announcements to make first though!" Ten minutes later, the entirety of the sporking team was waiting outside the theater. "Roll call!" Galbatorix yelled. "Since when?"asked Thranduil. "Since now! Eragon!" "I'm going to kill you one day." "Yeah, yeah...Blodgarm!" "You need to wash your hair." "Shut up. Islanzadi!" "Can we have an extra supply of alcohol?" "Possibly. Thranduil!" "Give me liberty or give me death!" "No can do! Glorfindel!" "The Balrog was better." "I still have to find one of those creatures….Cho!" "I hate you!" "I know! Aaaarya!" "Gimme some coffee!" "Now that we're all here, I have a little announcement. All the Inheritance Cycle sporkers will be allowed to go on vacation!" Every sparker from that fandom cheered while the others groaned and grumbled. A huge grin spread across Arya's face. "Except you, Arya since you are not a true Inheritance Cycle character," Lillybelle said. "Sithspit!" Arya swore, grumbling. "I still want my coffee." "Now here are your plain tickets to Hawaii and the rest of you can get into the sporking theater." Lillybelle handed and envelope to Eragon while the other entered the theater. "I want my coffee!" Arya called out to the masterminds. "Just sit down," Thranduiil said, sitting down in a seat. Letters then swirled across the screen. An Epitomy to myself from Legolas. Thranduil: You've got to be kidding me! Glorfindel: Your son wrote a piece of fanfiction?Thranduil: No! He did not! This is some author pretending she's Legolas writing a poem to herself! Glorfindel: And if it was really Legolas? Thranduil: I'd commit Hari kari. Arya: I want my coffee! Disclaimer: none of the characters, places, etc. are mine so please don't sue me! I know they are Tolkien's only! Arya: *growls* You'd better. *beat* Oi! Galby! I want my coffee! Thranduil: Are you ever going to stop? Arya: No. Her hair, fair and brown as the Earth, Cho: I thought Legolas was from Arda. Thranduil: He is. Cho: Then why is earth capitalized? ![]() Thranduil: I don't know! How am I supposed to know how the minds of Suethors work?! *goes off to drown himself in Dorwinion* With the slightest highlights of the sun Arya: Of course they have highlights! *beat* I want my coffee! Now! *cup of peppermint mocha appears in her hand* Ahh, thanks! *nurses mocha* Her eyes, as beautiful as the ocean, All: Of course! Thranduil: Why do I have the horrible feeling that this will be a list of Sue characteristics? Arya: Maybe because it is? True blue and lovely, Arya: *grabs her cell phone* Hello, Department of Redundancies Department? *beat* Sith! The line's busy! Rising and falling with anger and love, Thranduil: And here we have the color changing eyes. Like waves on the shore. Arya: So her eyes go in and out of her head? Thranduil: So it seems…. Glorfindel: Your son seems to have interesting ideas for poetry, mellon inn. Thranduil: THAT IS NOT MY SON! I could gaze into them forever while slowly digging her heart out with a spoon then feeding it Arya's cat, Arya: *is rather proud of her handywork* Thranduil: Ion inn, you are immortal and for immortals forever is literally forever.Glorfindel: So you admit it's your son? Thranduil: NO! And would never tire. Cho: He's an elf! Elves don't tire! There's no need to point it out! Arya: ![]() Cho: Oh, uh…. I happen to live with a rabid Lord of the Rings fan, so…. Her skin, as fair as the lovliest cream, Arya: SOunds like Bella Swan to me. Thranduil: *screams*Glorfindel: He's going to need therapy. Cho: We all need therapy. Dotted the tiniest bit with vivid sun-kisses. Arya: I thought it was pale. Now it's tan…. Glorfindel: It was pale. The author seems to have forgotten that. Her body is perfect, Thin and graceful. Arya: And we hate you, more and more! Her voice as soft as a song, It flows like the wind. Cho: So her voice blows away? Glorfindel: What kind of girl is your son marrying?! Thranduil: THAT IS NOT MY SON! MY SON IS MARRIED TO DAISY! Arya: *looks up* Thranduil: THE OTHER DAISY! Arya: Ohh! I could listen to it forrever. Arya: Just so you could get angry enough to cut out her tongue. Glorfindel: He should have cut out her tongue in the first place. Beautiful as the trees of Lorien. Arya: So….. her voice is tall, gray, and with a lot of little things poking out of it? It must hurt for her to talk. Thranduil: let's hope that the branches of her voice rip out her throat. It is neither harsh nor raspy, It is just simply wonderful. Arya: It is just simply horrible. She is not an Elf, Glorfindel: Your son is marrying a human? Thranduil: He already married a human. A human that is NOT a Sue. Though I wish she was. She is a Woman, Cho: As apposed to a man? Arya: Oh gods…. no…. Of the shores of America. Arya: And how the kriff does he know about America?! Thranduil: He doesn't! And I would give my immortality for her, Glorfindel: Even if you wanted to, you can't. Only the Peredhil can do that. Arya: Ah! But that would require research! I would give my life for her. Thranduil: More like you'd give your life to kill her. She loves the trees. She loves the Elves. She loves the Earth. Arya: Earth shouldn't be capitalized when it's not referring to the planet Earth! Mirkwood is her true home, Though it was not where she was born. Glorfindel: And here we have the whole 'destiny to be the princess of Mirkwood business'. Her name is Lovely, Arya: Now that's original. NOT! Though it is hard to pronounce, All: ![]() Arya: Since when is Lovely hard to pronounce? I being from Mirkwood. I shall call her Lady Legolas, Thranduil: No you will not! THAT IS NOT MY SON! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT HIM AS MY SON! Glorfindel: We know, mellon nin, we know. For she is my own. Soon she shall be mine forever, For we get married in Mirkwood soon. Thranduil: No you will not. My guards have orders to shoot Sues on sight. I love her. I love her. Arya: Shut up. Shut up. Every time I see her, my knees go weak. Every time she speaks, my voice deserts me. Arya: *sings* It must be love! Thranduil: NO IT'S NOT! Arya: I know, I was just joking. Thranduil: Oh. My fellows do not approve, but I do not care. Thranduil: Damn straight I don't approve. For she is what I desire and I love her. For she is the apple of my eye, Arya: Legolas' eye has an apple in it? How did that happen? Did one of the twin's pranks go wrong? Glorfindel: Possibly… Thranduil: My son does not have an apple in his eye! The equivalent of myself, The Love of my life. Arya: Just SHUT UP! Glorfindel: Er, it's done…. we just have to do the end Author's Note. Arya: Really? Good! Me talking: Hey R&R please. Arya: I'll flame it, I won't review it. This might seem like obsession, but I just love him so much and this just came to mind. I will come out with my reply soon! Glorfindel: Ai Valar…. she actually has deluded herself into thinking she's married to Legolas…. Thranduil: That has just gone way to far….Arya: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm outta here! *throws open the doors and runs out, the rest of the team following* Review the horror here. |
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One part fool, three parts brave-Brom in the Eragon movie It's better to ask forgiveness than permission-Brom and Eragon in the Eragon movie A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night-Legolas, The Two Towers God is great Life is good Oh, and Legolas rules | |
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Your son wrote a piece of fanfiction?
Ion inn, you are immortal and for immortals forever is literally forever.
*screams*



3:23 PM Jul 11