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Love me Forever reviews; And release all of it.
Topic Started: Feb 13 2011, 11:26 PM (1,035 Views)
athenarena
Member Avatar
Master of the Rings
Story can be found here.
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Lancelot: I thought nobody escaped Moria. I mean *beat* she is a Sue; of course she must escape an unescapable thing.


Erik: Huh. You guys picked it up very quick.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: Really? Logic went out the window that fast? I don’t think alcohol ever did that to me quite quickly.


Erik: Or not.
Mac: Logic didn't fly out quickly because logic never existed!

Quote:
 
Gimli, the dwarf, was the only father I had ever known.


Oh no. What is she really?


Good job, Rena!
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
Quote:
 
Erik: Huh. You guys picked it up very quick.


Ellen: SiME taught us quickly.

Quote:
 
Erik: Or not.
Mac: Logic didn't fly out quickly because logic never existed!


Lancelot: Thanks for that! *siddles up to Mac but is knocked out fast*
Balian: Sorry about that.

Quote:
 
Oh no. What is she really?


I do not want to know.

Thanks Mac!
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


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Ariel
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Professional Nutcase
Quote:
 
Ellen: The most glaring foreshadowing to a dreadful, god awful story is the lack of disclaimer.

Erm, I don't use disclaimers. I figure it's a given.

Quote:
 
For one whole day I ran, I ran for as long and as far as I could.

Erm, you couldn't do that. First off, there's the fact that you have't imbibed enough water to make up for the amount you jusr sweated off. Secondly, you would pass out before you'd ran a full day. 

Quote:
 
Ellen: *pulls out mini-balrog* Hello, Galadria. We need to get you some bacon. I hope we can keep it.
Galahad: As if the lord and lady of Lothlorien would have had time or cared about you! Seriously, no need to slam dunk the Sue basket so early in the chapter. We get it, your character is awesome, your character is as important as the ring-bearer. God I need alcohol. *Balian hands him some* Thank you. 
Ellen: You need to stop using logic like now. Galahad, with your temper this will not end well and our master might do something to you. I just got used to you.

Nevermind the fact that she would need a pair of Hermes' winged sandals to get from Moria to Lothlorien without getting eaten by wolves. 

Quote:
 
For one week they allowed me to stay in their domain. 

Lancelot: All the way planning on how to kill the Sue so to save Gimli from meeting her again.
Balian: They may not have liked the dwarves but even they could not allow something like you torture them.

Their hospitality is astounding. 

Quote:
 
Not before Galadria had a word with me. "Kilana, at one point your father, Gimli will come to this forest with the Fellowship." 

Galahad: (As Lady Galadriel) So I am getting rid of you so you do not upset him.
Ellen: (As Kilana) That is fine, I must go on adventure to make my true love fall obsessively and stupidly in love with me for all I have gone through. (Back as Ellen) On a side note, what the hell is with a name like Kilana?
Balian: It is supposed to be unique but it just sounds stupid.

How did Galadrial know that? When Balian was murdered, it was several years before anyone even realized where the ring was, save Gandalf. 

Quote:
 
After about a day or so you will reach the realm of Rohan."
 
Look you idiot, there is only one river anywhere near Rohan, and that is the River Isen. That leads to the ocean. There is no river that stretches from Lorien to Rohan. That would take you to Gondor. 
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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
Thanks Ariel for the review.
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
I've added this to the library! :D

Quote:
 
Balian: Where is the disclaimer?
Ellen: The most glaring foreshadowing to a dreadful, god awful story is the lack of disclaimer.
Balian: In other words we are screwed.


I'll have you know that I seldomly to never use disclaimers. <_<

Quote:
 
Balian: If you are hurt, you cannot run. You would fall unconscious about half way.
Lancelot: Really? Logic went out the window that fast? I don’t think alcohol ever did that to me quite quickly.


Logic does not exist. :nono:

Quote:
 
Lancelot: All the way planning on how to kill the Sue so to save Gimli from meeting her again.
Balian: They may not have liked the dwarves but even they could not allow something like you torture them.


Indeed, Balian. :nod: Differences are put aside for Sues.

Quote:
 
Ellen: (As Lady Galadriel) I am so happy to be finally getting rid of you. Once you are gone we will have to a party.
Lancelot: (as Lord Celeborn) and do not forget to scourge the room clean and burn the sheets. We must get rid of all trace of the Sue.


Don't forget to be thorough!

Quote:
 
Balian: It is supposed to be unique but it just sounds stupid.


A Sue trait. :nod:

Quote:
 
Galahad: Somebody send word to Rohan so they can prepare for this abomination!
Ellen: We tried, it died. Rohan is on its own unfortunately. Maybe we can prayer for its soul? It is all we can do.


Prayers don't do anything against Sues.

Quote:
 
Ellen: while slowly drilling holes into it to ensure it sunk and the waste of the Sue would wash away.


Nice one!

Quote:
 
Lancelot: Cliché! How many of those are we going to see?
Ellen: Too many to count. However, I am sure the three of them were crying tears of joy.
Lancelot: Compared to our tears of agony.


Bear with it, you're almost done.

Quote:
 
The doors flung open and the four sporkers hightailed it back to their rooms to try and recover some of their sanity. Their sanity was mostly found in the bottom of a bottle. But to them, a hangover was better than a Sue any day.


Poor sporkers! Welcome to the world of MSTs! :P
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Ellen: The first of many, I am sure. Luckily, I am already insane so I cannot snap, I hope.


Not true. I give you exhibit A, Erik.

Quote:
 
Balian: No need to insult the Nobel Prizes or Sweden. I think they have suffered enough without this being shoved underneath their noses.


That's why I usually use the Pulitzer.

Quote:
 
Ellen: You are growing up and maturing? I think I am going to need smelling salts. *mock high pitched voice* oh my nerves. *beat* Oh wait, you do not know Pride and Prejudice, moving on time.


I've done that. Though I usually use a Southern drawl.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: Who here is going to logic’s funeral?


We already had it. It was quite lovely. *Points to Logic's grave*
Quote:
 

Galahad: I thought the council meeting was called together impromptu, not arranged before hand.
Ellen: That is correct but you think a Suethor cares? No! So stop trying to give yourself a migraine by using logic in this story. It just won’t work
.


That's why I'm convinced that the Suethors believe Elrond sent out an invite to his council.

Good job, Rena!
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Amarth
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Rising Again
Quote:
 
Kilana arrived at the Aragonath within a few hours time.


Oh, good. As long she is nowhere near Argonath.

Quote:
 
Gimli saw something sparkle out of the corner of his eye.

Balian: It was the Sue’s shampoo.
Ellen: It was a mithril suit to defend him against the sickly sweetness of the Sue.
Galahad: it is our souls and his dying from contact with the Sues
Lancelot: It was enough money so he could pay for his therapy.


It was Edward!
Lame, I know, but I just coudn't resist.

Quote:
 
Clutched in one of the dead Dwarf's had, was a ring.

Can anyone divine the meaning of that sentence without adding a "n" in it?
Had what? Who had what?

Quote:
 
She was dead; his beloved daughter was dead "Kilana."

What is a dead "Kilana"? What is the difference between being just dead and being a dead "Kilana"?

Quote:
 
Once again she was on the move she ran long and she ran far.
Till her legs could no longer carry her.


Wrong interpunction. Crappy attempt at poetic language is already well-sporked.

Quote:
 
She froze when she felt the cold metal of a blade pressed against her throat.


At least she didn't stiffen.

Quote:
 
"I am Théodred, son of King Théoden. I do apologies my lady but with Orcs roaming around our land. We cannot be too careful." Kilana smiled grimly.


You decided to give up on grammar, formatting and spelling and just spork the plot, didn't you?

Quote:
 
than With an effortless ease she too hoisted herself up onto the horse.


Capital Out Of Nowhere.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: I was going to make a sexual reference but I do not want to be hit or knocked out.*Galahad shuts up as well*


Badfic corrupted the finest of knights. Pass me those salts when you're finished with them.

Quote:
 
Kilana nodded "Yes, but I was raised by Dwarves. I have never been around other humans before."

She sighed "My parents were killed when I was but a child. Gimli and his cousin Balin found me. Gimli became my father."


If she turns out to be a redhead, prodigy with bow and sword AND gets magical talents later on...I'm not very fond of Salvatore's Miss "Wisdom" Cheese, but she doesn't deserve this.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: Logic and story states they did not hear from the Dwarves in Moria for YEARS although me using logic is like asking for a bad headache.
Balian: But you ask for that every night. *Lancelot glowers*


Is it just me or does the last line sound rather...dodgy?

Quote:
 
Théodred felt her pain,

That is, Ellen's pain (and perhaps pain of the rest of sporking team), not Kilana's.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
Quote:
 
You decided to give up on grammar, formatting and spelling and just spork the plot, didn't you?

To save myself Amarth (and this only being my first MST) I have been sticking with the plot. I am sorry about that and will start adding in grammar, formmatting and spelling in bits from now on. I just wanted to ensure I did not headdesk so much.

Quote:
 
Is it just me or does the last line sound rather...dodgy?


Oh, you have not seen the movie King Arthur have you? What Balian is referring to is that Lancelot gets drunk freely every single night -pretty much- at Hadrian's Wall in the movie. So Balian is saying Lancelot asks for a bad headache every night.

Hope you enjoyed the sporking!
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


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Amarth
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Rising Again
Quote:
 
I am sorry about that and will start adding in grammar, formmatting and spelling. I just wanted to ensure I did not headdesk so much.


Naw, perhaps you should keep it as it is. From what I've read so far, it would take too much of anal-retentiveness to point out every mistake, and badfic itself would become unreadable. And then it wouldn't be a MST anymore, but grammar textbook.

I don't think I saw that version. But you have to admit it could be interpreted in various ways...
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

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athenarena
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Master of the Rings
Quote:
 
Naw, perhaps you should keep it as it is. From what I've read so far, it would take too much of anal-retentiveness to point out every mistake, and badfic itself would become unreadable. And then it wouldn't be a MST anymore, but grammar textbook.


The boys would not last. Oh, ok. The plot is the funniest as it is so stupid. There is no plot, it is like hello black gaping hole here.

Quote:
 
I don't think I saw that version. But you have to admit it could be interpreted in various ways...


Oh! I completely admit it, I just wanted you to understand what point of view I was coming from when I wrote that.

I sent you a private message.
I am currently taking donations, for Everton FC. I am afraid that our chairman has forgotten to cough up. So if you could hand me a penny and I will dance for you :P.

I am the monkey and you hold the box, so be nice with that. I don't want to dance like that!


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UltimateEvilLord1
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Resident Time-Sith
I loved it! The spork, not the fic. :P

God, I hope we survive this...your spork has made it readable so far. Keep up the good work, and don't loose whatever remnants of sanity you have! *sends survival kit to the sporkers*
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MackenzieW
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Resident Time Lady
Quote:
 
Balian: with disgust.
Lancelot: with lust *Ellen smacks him*. Fine, with a feeling of nausea running through him.
Galahad: *sneers* let me guess that did not hinder her beauty. I hate Sues.


You may want to double check your capitalization. As you can see, certain words aren't capitalized that should be.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: WTF? That last sentence makes no sentence and makes it sound extremely dodgy. My head is reeling.


Quatre: Would you like my flowchart?

Lancelot: And our Suethor falls even further in the stupidity ladder. How can you not keep logic between two freaking sentences? I mean do we have to hit you very hard on the head so you can see the mistakes in front of yours eyes?!

Please. I've seen contradictions within the same sentence!

Quote:
 
Galahad: I am slowly losing faith in humanity. To be able to describe an animal better than a person? Boy, does somebody have a skewed outlook on life.


It's better than the usual Suethor fare--CLOTHING.

Good job on an oh-so-Sueish chapter.
You are the music while the music lasts--T.S. Eliot

"Stop the damn texting and pick up a book!"--Grandmama, "The Addams Family" (Musical)

"Tomorrow will be better for as long as America keeps alive the ideals of freedom and a better life." —Walt Disney

"I wake in the loneliness of sunrise
When the deep purple heaven turns blue
And start to pray
As I pray each day
That I’ll hear some word from you

I lie in the loneliness of evening
Looking out on a silver-flaked sea
And ask the moon
Oh how soon, how soon
Will my love come home to me"--"Loneliness of Evening," Cinderella


"Thank you, Lord
You have brought us
Safe to shore
Be our strength and protection ever more.
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire
A Thiarna dean trocaire
A Chriost dean trocaire"--Heartland, as performed by Celtic Thunder


I'm writing a novel!

A Guide to Fanfiction for Dummies!

My Little Corner

I'm on Book Country!
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Refia
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Paying Tribute to the Past
Quote:
 
Ellen: Luckily the chapters are short. The sooner this is done, the sooner we will get out of here.
Galahad: And we made sure to have plenty of alcohol to be prepared.
Lancelot: We are learning quickly how to deal. *swigs alcohol*


Cheers! :drink:

Quote:
 
Galahad: to get away from all the Elves hunting her as vengeance for fouling Lothlorien and for daring to pollute the air around their Lord and Lady.
Balian: And they were armed with spoons and grease to run the Sue’s complexion and speshful hair.


And to spoon her to death. :nod:

Quote:
 
Ellen: He is alright as long as you are not around him. He is stalling so he does see you yet.
Galahad: He does not miss you; in fact he is rejoicing every moment he is spending away from you.


Indeed. Because, newsflash: Gimli doesn't have a daughter. :nono: And even if he did, it wouldn't be a Sue!

Quote:
 
Lancelot: (as Gimli) I need to see her body to know she is dead. Please be dead, please let me be free of her perfection and be a normal Dwarf again.
Galahad: Poor guy gets no freedom from the monstrosity that is a Sue.
Ellen: We really should send him some mead as a thank you for putting up with her for so long and then getting no peace when she could be dead.
Balian: I will supply the best French wine for him. Poor guy, stuck with a daughter like that.


Gimli was so happy, too, being ignored by almost every Suethor out there. :(

Quote:
 
Galahad: And from that moment on, the Fellowship wished they had never heard that name or anything of Gimli’s daughter. It would have saved them a fortune on therapy if she had stayed unknown.


Amen.

Quote:
 
Lancelot: DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE. Finally somebody sees sense and decides to kill the Sue.
Balian: Unfortunately, knowing Suethors this logic won’t last long and she will soon have the character begging at her feet.
Lancelot: Allow me hope for just a moment please!


Lancelot, abandon hope when you enter the theatre. :nod:

Quote:
 
Lancelot: Stupid imbecile twit! You do not give away that much information.
Galahad: Calm down, she is Sue and there is no logic. Hence, why Théodred is giving away so much without knowing the person. You are going to kill yourself if you continue. I may hate you most of the time but I do not want you dead.


Yeah, listen to Galahad, Lancelot.

Quote:
 
Ellen: *holds up a sign* EDORAS DOES NOT WELCOME SUES. PLEASE TRY AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN DESUED OR ARE DEAD.
Lancelot: How many curse words is that missing?
Ellen: Infinity, infinity of curse words.


Too true!

Quote:
 
Lancelot: the chapter is almost done anyway. *cheers from all sporkers*


Thank heavens! :bounce:

Quote:
 
Galahad: And cue sob story that has everybody pitying the Sue while also using it as an excuse for her behaviour.
Balian: I think Suethors are sharing the same brain, as they all write the same garbage.


I think they take turns in having the brain. <_< Once they're done with their chapter they hand the brain over to the next Suethor.

Quote:
 
Ellen: Sorry! But it had to be said. Her chapters were huge! I feel so sorry for Mac going through her and Refie with Shadow08.


Your sympathy is much appreciated. :(

Quote:
 
Galahad: I thought the council meeting was called together impromptu, not arranged before hand.
Ellen: That is correct but you think a Suethor cares?


Take three guesses. :rolleyes:

I'll do the next chapter soon. (I hope. :wasntme:)
[align=center]“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
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Amarth
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Rising Again
Quote:
 
"The-that was an o-order. I will not leave Kilana here." Eomer looked at one of his soldiers, "Find the woman." He nodded, "Spread out, look for a wounded woman!"

Sure thing. No report about the attack, no message for your King and father, though you might not survive, no inquiry about whether any of your men survived, let's just pine after the useless bint.

Quote:
 
She was unconscious and there was a large wound to the side of her head.
Half of her face was covered in blood, and there was no doubt in Eomer's mind it came from the wound.

And, let me guess, there will be no death due to haemorrhage, no permanent brain damage (though that might be due to, as Balian said, Sue not being in posession of one), or, heaven forbid, scarring, even though your average, "imperfect" human being can be seriouly endangered by a mere hit to the head...

Quote:
 
Galahad: *holds up sign* Edoras wants the Sue killed. Third marshal, the King orders you to kill Sue. Do it now! *puts sign down* maybe we should hold a service in memory of Canon Eomer? Canon Eomer would never have agreed to this.

Alas, like logic, Canon Eomer is already long-dead and buried. Poor thing simply exploded from sheer pressure of being torn between being turned into a bumbling sidekick, male chauvinistic pig and mindless lusting idiot, among others.

Quote:
 
Kilana was picked up and carried over to where the horses awaited. Kilana rode with one of Eomer's men, while rode with his cousin.

Now THAT sounds like something from PWP.

Quote:
 
Ellen: And the Suethor turns one of the best moments from actual angst, drama and damn well emotion into a farce. She is just like “look at me, I am so great, look at what I have written, aren’t you all so upset?” I hate you Suethor, I will get my vengeance on you I swear it. 

Welcome to the club. Shall we start a Holy Crusade?

Quote:
 
Galahad: Thank god for alcohol. *swigs absinthe*.

I envy his constitution. And whatever his stomach is lined with.

Quote:
 
Kilana laughed "Alright, alright, no need to be getting an enormous ego here."

"Mine must be, lyke, the obviously biggest one, without, lyke, competition."

Good job! You are getting better!




"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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