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| Neen Airehb: The MST: The Review; Strawberry shortcake | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 26 2011, 03:56 PM (362 Views) | |
| MD1618 | May 26 2011, 03:56 PM Post #1 |
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Seer of Visions
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Read this MST here. |
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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| jules14 | Jun 8 2011, 09:25 PM Post #2 |
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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That's too good a bet, Critic; you'll lose. <_<
Nice!
![]() So...the father is beating the Sue because...he really wanted to know what was behind the salt pork? Or because she tried to help him find it and he just didn't value her advice? Y'know, Suethor, if you want your Sue to have an abusive relative, you could at least give that relative SOME reason to abuse her.
Stupid name FTW, Suethor!
So is the villain in this fic an EBUL communist? Did Terry Goodkind write it?
That'd be awesome!
So benevolent capitalism exists in Middle-earth but not any system of justice? Okay...
Uh...Legolas and Aragorn didn't travel to Rivendell together for the Council. And Aragorn stayed in Gondor after the Quest. Has this Suethor even seen the movies?
It's MELLON, Suethor.
Um...why isn't Arwen in Gondor with him?
Hello, Suethor? WHY ISN'T ARWEN IN GONDOR WITH HIM? And for that matter, why hasn't Elrond left for the Grey Havens yet?
*scratches head* I don't know what language that's supposed to be, but it's not Elvish.
Neither can I, since dragons are completely evil in Tolkien's works. It's a good MST so far. I'm surprised you didn't point out all the plot holes, though. |
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| MD1618 | Jun 9 2011, 06:09 PM Post #3 |
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Seer of Visions
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Thanks! ![]()
I presume it's because she's a mind-reader (he never said out loud what he was looking for, remember), and therefore a monster to be feared, yelled at, and slapped if you're a medieval peasant. (LotR doesn't occur in the Middle Ages, of course, but the village and girl give me a Middle Ages vibe.) Come to think of it, though, she never shows any signs of telepathy in the rest of the story. So this is really just a one-off bit designed to make you feel oh-so-sorry for the mistreated, misunderstood poor widdle girl.
Your confusion is understandable. This actually appears to be set after the Quest to destroy the Ring, with King Elessar (as Legolas names him so graciously :rolleyes: in the next bit) returning home in company of . . . someone . . . after achieving some quest in some distant land. The nature of the quest is never explained in the story, but it's not beyond reason (to me) for a king to travel with his army to defend his land's borders. Maybe Aragorn wanted to take the opportunity, now that he had a whole army with him, to wipe out the wolves of the north once and for all, so that they would never bother the Shire again. Maybe there was a large concentration of Orcs somewhere that needed wiping out. Or maybe the author just wanted a reason for him to visit this village. ![]()
Well, presumably Aragorn is heading back to Gondor . . . oh. You're right, he's heading to Rivendell. Good point. Maybe Elrond has left, but Rivendell is an easy landmark when Aragorn's returning from north of the Shire? (Not the north of the Shire, since Aragorn stayed out of the land while he was king, but he could have skirted the region.)
Thanks. ![]() As you see above, I tend to be lenient about open-ended plot holes, where I can't prove to my satisfaction that a contradiction exists. Sometimes I just express confusion, sometimes I prefer to wait in silence and see if the author puts his or her foot firmly into his or her own mouth. ![]() That said, there are a couple of clear-cut plot holes in the next section I'll post. |
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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| MD1618 | Jun 16 2011, 06:50 PM Post #4 |
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Seer of Visions
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Upon further review, the author has Elrond and Arwen still in Rivendell. Arwen's presence might be justified by her wishing to oversee the loading of the library into the |
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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| jules14 | Jun 18 2011, 06:00 PM Post #5 |
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(Wo)man on a Mission
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Sorry for the delay. I'm going to review your updates now.
That's all right. Anyway, I like that you're not making all your jokes similar. An MST gets boring if all the sporkers comment on are either grammar mistakes or plot holes.
That's...nuts. Did this Suethor read or even see Return of the King?
I wouldn't drink a Bloody Mary-Sue if I were you, Legolas. They taste sickeningly-sweet, like a mixture of strawberries and cake icing and glitter.
Awesome! I just pictured a bunch of warriors at a fancy-dress ball wearing frilly chain mail.
No kidding. Besides, how desperate do times have to be before strangers start bursting into people's houses uninvited?
Ooh, is it an alien? That would be so cool!
What an idiot. Legolas, I mean, not your sporkers.
*headdesk* Why does Legolas always sing lullabies in Elvish to girls he doesn't even know? It's as cliched as the Mary Sue herself by now. Anyway, isn't that rather patronizing? You sing lullabies to babies. So...do these Suethors think it's romantic for Legolas to treat grown women and teenage girls like babies? Would they think it was romantic if Legolas spoon-fed them and changed their diapers?
You guys are the unluckiest sporkers I have ever met. *hugs* My sympathies.
Either that or Legolas was actually having a nightmare about falling in love with the Sue.
Oh, no, Legolas is cooing! It's Phantom's Ange all over again! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Holy shit, that sounds awesome! Why can't we read a fic about sky-asparagus, Walter Winchell clones, Aragorn singing "One Singular Sensation," and Treebeard fighting Optimus Prime, instead of this crappy old Suefic? Insanity, you need to write that fic down.
If only. Then this fic might actually be interesting!
Have you seen the Lord of the Rings movies, MD? Legolas is always Captain Obvious.
Does Insanity use that exclamation often?Great job, MD1618! |
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| MD1618 | Jun 23 2011, 06:51 PM Post #6 |
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Seer of Visions
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That's something I'm sensitive to. I could make myself giggle by repeating the same response over and over again (I'm easily amused at times), but it wouldn't be funny to anyone else. So I make sure I mix things up. ![]()
Cool, and therefore incapable of happening in this fic.
This is pretty much my line of thinking whenever a singer refers to someone as "babe" or "baby". :rolleyes:
Don't feel too bad for them. The lack of an evil overseer means they have the ability (sometimes) to leave the room when things get really bad.
I think he'd lose his train of thought after a few sentences. Feel free to give it a shot yourself, though.
If only the author had meant it as a simple statement of the obvious, rather than as an illustration of the deep wisdom of her lust object.
If he doesn't, he should.
Thanks! I appreciate all your comments as well.
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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| Amarth | Jun 29 2011, 12:04 PM Post #7 |
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Rising Again
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I looked in my Tolkien Sindarin dictionary, in much-abused Grey Company dictionary, tried with alterations of spelling and vocals, and I still can't figure out where the words came from.
Well, at least she's honest.
Oh, THAT's what it's supposed to mean. I guess she was trying to write "Nin ereb gwenn herwess" phonetically. Whatever purpose would that serve. I mean, since you already bothered looking up translation, why not write it as it is spelled properly? Or at least write CORRECT pronunciation.
Oh, great. It's poor-abused-because-of-her-speshul-powers Sue. It's been I while since I read one of those.
Smart man. He knows Sue when he sees one.
Not bloody likely. He wouldn't have been the wealtiest merchant, if he were like that. Maybe he gave some money to charity to calm his conscience, and supported a project he could profit from later, but he couldn't have been altruistic as she tries to portray him.
And already she contradicts herself.
Ah, the joys of bachelorhood.
I love small-community way of thinking. One can really get away with murder there, as long as one doesn't disturb the neighbours.
And attempts at phonetic Sindarin continue. Try writing it in Tengwar, Suethor.
Amlug Naur. And let's not get into the impropriety of an Elven prince naming his horse after the servant of Enemy. He might have as well called it Balrog's whip.
No, they run. That's why they call them skittish. Or, if backed in corner, attack ferociously. Therefore, animals are more intelligent than Sue.
Not even Bloom had hair that long. Let's also point out that it would have been braided, lest it tangles in branches, and The Professor himself said Legolas (and the rest of his people) preferred light armor and clothing in green, brown and grey tones, in order to blend with their surroundings. Alas, the age of golden-haired Elven lords in ornate armor ended with fall of Beleriand, and PJ robbed us of a glimpse of last remnants of this species-in-extinction in Arda with infamous Arwen switch.
And I'm pretty sure it would have been grey.
Since author is on medication, it's only appropriate that her avatar is, too.
Tuilinn (swallow)
I'm not surprised.
The magick of true wuv.
Mani naa raeg. And half of it is Grey Company Elvish.
Im ista he hen.
Lend loth nin.
Ahh. That explains it. I was looking for correct SINDARIN, and they have been talking SANDARIN all the time. My mistake.
To rule them all.
Oh great. Please tell me it's not another rapist!Legolas fic.
She remembers how old she was, and not an inkling of her name?
Little? She lives in the middle of forest, with everyone avoiding her, and she has WINE? And actual store, however meager? She would have had berries, or nuts, or dired meat, if she ever managed to figure out how to do that. Heck, she was dropped off in forest at four, with little to no human contact. It's a miracle she can even speak.
Praise Eru. She actually got one right.
Oh great. It's Bella-Swan-comes-to-Middle-Earth.
If she was a real Elf, she would have faded long before. Since she is an incarnation of one of most abominable Sues in fiction, she has no shame, and is going to use her every "flaw" for her own gain.
Okay, Suethor. Repeat after me: AMONG ELVES, ONLY THE LINE OF MAHTAN HAD BROWN HAIR. AND IT WAS REDDISH-BROWN. NO CLUMSY WEAKLING CAN BE DESCENDANT OF THAT LINE. I realize that you tried to make your character closer to the reader (and yourself) to identify with, but you should have picked a human then. Human with Elven blood, even.
Ahh...that's how she's got "stores". Though I still wonder why would he give her wine.
Let's hope he does.
Nah. If she didn't fade after being gang-raped by Orcs multiple times, she wouldn't fade from that.
And how would you know the smell of sex, Haldir dear? Has someone been breaking Laws and Customs, hmm? Sorry, I got carried away. It's been a while since I've seen a fic this bad. Canon Nazi had a field day. Great Job! |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| MD1618 | Jun 30 2011, 02:55 PM Post #8 |
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Seer of Visions
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If I were a man who bet on horse races, I would totally put my money on a horse named Balrog's Whip. ![]()
Or meat, for that matter. But I guess maybe there are enough pigs in the economy that pork is cheap. Or, possibly, he bought it off of the clearance rack, where the butcher had put it because it was on the verge of spoiling. Neither seems very likely, but who knows.
No problem. I appreciate your corrections of all the attempts at Elvish. ![]()
Thanks! |
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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| Amarth | Jul 1 2011, 10:28 AM Post #9 |
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Rising Again
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And now she brings Greek into it. There is no "god" in Ea, Suethors. There is a Eru, who doesn't get involved directly, and Ainur(though I suppose you might dub them "celestial").
May it remain in eternal obscurity, never to raise again. I suppose congratulations are in order. Unless the next one is even worse. |
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"I dance the dance of the fool and pray you find me mad for if you lay hands upon the root you'll know me, without illusion and find me guilty of the truth."-Malkav's Words "LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic "Dear Harry, If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW? Sincerely, Ron" Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein My Tolkien fanfic recs Anime and manga fanfic recs Book and game fanfic recs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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| MD1618 | Jul 11 2011, 04:02 PM Post #10 |
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Seer of Visions
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Honestly, I don't flat-out hate this fanfic. There was never a point, during the times I read or re-read this story, that I felt like screaming, or ranting in rage, or committing violence against a nearby inanimate object. That can't be said for the two likeliest candidates for my next MST to be published. So yes, it's going to get worse for me after this. Thanks for the congratulations, anyhow.
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Lust. What a strange fate that we should suffer so much angst and annoyance over such a small thing. Why, its the wonderful magic of wish fulfillment! Do, or do not. There is no think with the Mary Sue. | |
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Maybe Elrond has left, but Rivendell is an easy landmark when Aragorn's returning from north of the Shire? (Not the north of the Shire, since Aragorn stayed out of the land while he was king, but he could have skirted the region.)

That's...nuts. Did this Suethor read or even see Return of the King?
Does Insanity use that exclamation often?






There is a Eru, who doesn't get involved directly, and Ainur(though I suppose you might dub them "celestial").

3:13 PM Jul 11