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Valentine Special II; This time, Fingon is traumatised
Topic Started: Feb 14 2012, 12:31 PM (202 Views)
Amarth
Member Avatar
Rising Again
Title: Valentine’s Day Special II
Author: Amarth
Rating: K+, officially. But there is slash. Again, not graphic.
Genre: Slash
Text it is based on: “Leoglas's Diary My Secret Valentine!” by HanaHeart on ff.net
Characters: Fellowship(Suethor: But no Gimli cuz he’s eww and no Merry cuz he’s, like, same as Pippin) +Arwen&Glorfindel, Helen’s team
Summary: Cast goes to High School – fic. Actually a ripoff of Betty&Veronica.
Warnings: Slash – nothing steamy or graphic. Extreme OOC-ness. (Duh.)

Sporkers are still in the room, not quite over trauma of fanon Raistlin’s exploits. Suddenly, a voice is heard:
“Since you seem to have had fun, here is another.”
All: “NOOOOOOOOO!”


OK, this fic is an early Valentine gift…since I will not be here during it…

I'm going into a vacation to Dubai ^_^

Helen&Constantine: Really?

I can't wait for it!

Helen: Okay. As long as it’s first class. Anything lower is dangerous. Oh…shopping! Damn you!

So, I'll try to update Reasons before I go but u see,

Hakkai: “u”?
Helen: :headwall: Chatspeak. Why?!


Cheysuli is having some troubles editing chpt 7 *giggles* I think I made too long…I promise, I'll post it as soon as I get it!

Helen: Which means this is unbetaed…joy and rapture.

Anyways, this fic is set in our modern days….

Helen: :headwall:
Hakkai: Isn’t that an interesting idea?
Helen: Execution seldom goes well.


all LOTR are in Rivendell high school and all are at the same age…

Helen: All? Even Gandalf? Sauron? Shadowfax? Orcs?

The plot taken from Archie Comics…

Helen: See? She isn’t going to try her hand at a modern-day scenario! She’s just going to take the characters and stick them into modern scenario, without fitting it to their character!

a story with the same title, except instead of Legolas was Betty's…

Helen: Who will be Veronica then? Aragorn?

Oh, by the way, this fic is not edited…so sorry for the spell and grammar mistakes…

Helen: Not accepted. If I can bother to double-check everything, so can you.
Hakkai: :nod: You should put in at least some effort.


Legolas' diary….

Helen: But not a Very Secret one, I hope. Though it would be ironic.

My Secret Valentine!

Dear diary…

Today, being Valentine's Day and Arwen, my best friend, was bragging again!

Hakkai: Comma instead of and.

"It's so distressing to be the object of so many affections!" she whined as we made our way to Rivendell's high school.

Helen: Oh no. Arwen is Veronica? :headwall: Okay, colour scheme matches but…that’s all. If it was Eowyn and Arwen, it might at least make some sense…Celeborn and Celebrimbor…Tuor and Maeglin…*glance at Fingon, mutter*Indis and Miriel…aw, who am I kidding?

"Especially, when you can't stand any of them!" I chuckled softly.

She likes to compare the number of cards we'll each receive…

"I'm sure you'll receive at least one today, from some nice boy or girl, Legolas dear!"

Helen: Oh no.
Raistlin: Is this going to be like the first “special”?
Helen: Probably.
Raistlin: At least it’s not me.


she said, annoyance was clearly in her tone.

"Like Aragorn perhaps?" I joked. "Or is that too much to ask for?"


Helen: Oh no.
Fingon: I’ve been wondering…I knew Legolas of Gondolin.
Helen: Same name, but this one was son of a Sindar king.


However, we both got a big surprise when I opened my locker this morning…

"WHA…?" I exclaimed as dozens of heart-shaped balloons, red roses and love letters that fell on the ground from my locker.

Helen: I’ve always been wondering…is no one ever afraid of implications of someone breaking into your locker, even if it’s only to leave gifts?

"Good heavens!" Arwen exclaimed. "Where did all that come from?"

Constantine: Factory in third-world country?

"I don't know," I replied as I collected the fallen stuff from the ground. "Wait, here are some cards!" I said, showing her heart-shaped cards.

"Did 'whoever-it-is' bother to sign them?" she asked angrily.


Hakkai: Why must it be only one person?

"They are all signed 'Happy Valentine's Day, with love, your secret admirer!'"

Hakkai: Why are they all from the same person? Why did they write more than one card?

I replied, wondering what the cause of her annoyance was anyway.

Minsc: Minsc and Boo wonder too.

"'Secret Admirer'? Let me see those!" she exclaimed, grabbing the card from my hand and examining it carefully. "Hmmp, at least it isn't Aragorn's handwriting!"

Constantine: Ooh, jealousy.
Fingon: Why jealousy? “Aragorn” is a man, right? He might express love for his friend Legolas, though in an unusual way…
Constantine: So, “friendly love” between two blokes was common where you came from, Your Maj? :evileyebrow:
Fingon: Why yes! My cousin…
Helen: ENOUGH.
Fingon: My lady?
Helen: Just don’t.


/No,/ I thought sadly.

Constantine: Rivalry! Will there be a catfight?

/But it does look familiar!/

"Who do you suppose it is?" I asked as I shoved all the stuff into my locker again.

"Oh," she said coolly. "Some poor, drab shy hobbit, like Sam probably!"


Helen: Have I ever mentioned how much I hate bitch!Arwen?
Fingon: Who is she really?
Helen: Second coming of Luthien.
Fingon: Oh. Then this is a most insulting portrayal.


"How do you know?" I asked, as we walked to our classes. "It could be a good-looking elf like one of the twins or a sweet, nice elf like Haldir!"

Helen: Haldir? Sweet and nice? :facepalm:

I said dreamily.

Constantine: Gayer than a maypole.

"Dear Legolas, they are not your type!" she shrugged.

Fingon: This really sounds odd…

"Come on, Arwen," I said proudly. "You're just jealous! You don't have a secret admirer!"

"With a good reason too!" she said, running her hand through her long dark hair. "I'm so wonderful; they can't keep secret about it!"


All: :rolleyes:

/The nerve of that elf!/ my mind screamed. "Neither can you obviously!" I said under my breath as I parted with her.

Constantine: Ooh, burn. Would’ve been better if he said it aloud, though.

School may have started, but I still had some serious sleuthing to do!

/Now,/ I thought during Lord Glorfindel's class.

Helen: Oh, author? Aren’t they all the same age? :hmm?:

/Whose handwriting is this? And why does it look so familiar?/ I spend nearly the whole period thinking of this,

Hakkai: :nono: Try to pay at least some attention.

until Lord Glorfindel

Fingon: Wait. Is this…
Helen: The opinions are divided.


passed to us our last week exam papers. /AH-HA, I know! The test papers Lord Glorfindel had me help grade…This was written by Frodo Baggins!/

Constantine: The plot thickens…:evileyebrow:
Minsc: Look, Boo, it’s Frodo again!


Therefore, after class, I tracked him down and got straight to the point!

"All right, Frodo!" I said. "Why'd you pretend to be my secret admirer?"

"I signed the cards, but it's not me, Legolas." He admitted.


Hakkai: Comma abuse again? :cry2:

"Not that I don't admire you…Boromir

Helen: Say what? :O_O:

asked me to help put all the stuff in your locker and sign all the cards!"

"Boromir!" I exclaimed in surprise.


So, the trail led to Boromir…whom

Helen: AAA…wait. This one is all right.

I confront at lunch…

"Duh," Boromir shrugged coolly. "Well, I asked Frodo to help me because I don't write so nice.

Hakkai: Nicely.

But it was Sam who gave me all the stuff to put in the locker!"

Constantine: Will he be it? Or will there be more?

"Sam!" I exclaimed. /Good heavens! Maybe Arwen was right after all! She suggested Sam in the first place! But I have never encouraged the little hobbit!/

Luckily, Sam was in my next class after lunch…and so…

"Psst!" I whispered to Sam so Gandalf doesn't hear me. "Thanks for the lovely thought…but why?"

"Because Pippin gave me the money to but


Hakkai: Buy.
Constantine: Freudian slip? :evileyebrow:


it for you!" the little hobbit said shyly.

"PIPPIN!" I exclaimed, jumping from my seat.

"Legolas Greenleaf!" Gandalf looked at me angrily. "I don't remember Mr. Took's name is in the history book you are supposed to be reading!"


All: :rofl:
Helen: Pity it’s probably not original.
Hakkai: And that’s what you get for not paying attention to the class. :nod:


"Sorry, Sir," I said, sitting back.

/To think the trail had ended here in pippin's


Hakkai: Pippin’s.

arms?/ I thought. /But why? I encouraged HIM even less than I encouraged Sam!/

Constantine: You are just that hot, Leggy-poo. :evileyebrow:

There was nothing to do but follow through…

"Oh, Pippin," I sang coquettishly

Helen: :headwall:
Constantine: They really castrated him here.


when I found him in the cafeteria eating as usual. "May I speak with you for a moment please?"

"So who's stopping you?" he said, not talking his eyes from his plate.


He was certainly a cool hobbit!

Fingon: I’d say he was impolite.

But I soon settled that!

"Nice of you to remember me," I said as I warped

Hakkai: Wrapped.

my arms around him, planting kisses on his already food-full cheeks.

Fingon: :blink:
Helen: *imagines hamster!Pippin* :rofl:


"My sweet secret admirer!"

"H-HUH?" he yelled, struggling to free himself from my tight embrace. "Who said anything about…I never…it's all A LIE!"

"Hah!" I cooed,


Helen: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
Hakkai: These flashbacks are really getting worrying…


releasing the hobbit. "I got that from Frodo, who got it from Boromir, who got it from Sam, who said that you supplied the money for it!"

"Maybe so," he said. "But it wasn't my money!"


Raistlin: Again? How many more are there?

"Oh?" I said cutely, patting my golden eyelashes.

Constantine: Not funny anymore.
Helen: And let’s not get into appeal of lightly-coloured eyelashes…


"And just whose money was it?" I asked, pressing my body against him once more.

Helen&Raistlin: :X
Constantine: Not only is he emasculated, he’s a slut!
Hakkai&Minsc: :shakehead:
Fingon: What’s going on? :O_O:


"I'll never talk!" he said stubbornly. "You'll never get it out of me! It'll remain secret until the day I die!"

"Okay!" I said, pulling myself away, and turning around. "But you'll never get any more chocolate chip cookies from me! EVER!"


Constantine (girl!Leggy) : So THERE! :immature:

"NO!" Pippin was under my feet in a matter of seconds.

All: :blink:
Raistlin: Pathetic.
Helen: Actually, it’s kind of in-character…as long as it isn’t a serious secret.


"Please Legolas! It was Aragorn!" he finally confessed.

Helen: *sigh* And we’ve come full circle.
Constantine: Ooh, Arwen was right to be wary!


Somehow, I knew it all along, dear dairy!

Constantine: He was talking to cheese?
Helen: Maybe it was yoghurt?


"Oh, Aragorn!" I whispered as we both kissed.

Helen: :headwall: Dammit, author! Did you have to drop it out of nowhere like that?
Fingon: WHAT?!? :O_O:
Constantine: *wolf-whistle*
Others: :X


"You've made this the best Valentine's Day yet! You're

Hakkai: Your.

secret is so safe with me!"

"Who cares!"


Hakkai: Okay, I understand that he means he doesn’t care if it’s revealed…but he could have put it better.

My Aragorn whispered back as he pulled me into another passionate kiss.

Constantine: :evileyebrow:
Fingon: But aren’t they both…male…but it sounds like…
Hakkai: Ah, you see, Your Majesty…how to put this gently…
Others: :X


Arwen never found out…In fact, she ever suspects I did it myself!

"Probably just for the attention!" she said in annoyance as I sighed, remembering my kiss with my beloved Aragorn!

Fingon: But…wait…is this what “slashers” are?
Helen: *sigh* Yes.


"I surely like the kind I DID get!" I giggled as I kept daydreaming about my handsome secret admirer!

All: :X

The End

A/N: Hope you like it!

All: NO!

And happy Valentine's Day…

Helen&Constantine: You scumbag, you maggot…

Fingon: So...”slashers” are stories where two males…
Helen: Actually, “slashers” are authors, and genre is “slash”. “Yaoi” is also used, though it usually implicates anime or manga culture.
Fingon: And…our captors said…I influenced it?
Helen: Sadly, yes.
Fingon: So, they think…I did something like THAT?
Raistlin: Join the club. <_<
Fingon: That I would…but who? Who was I so close to? My family…my…my lady, why did you stop me before again?
Helen: :wasntme:
Fingon: Surely, they don’t think I had such impulses towards…towards…Maitimo?!?
Helen: Mostly.
Fingon: MOSTLY?!?
Hakkai: I think that’s enough for today. Try not to get affected by it, Your Majesty – we’ve already seen how little grasp of our true characters authors of these stories have.
Raistlin: Make that “none whatsoever”. <_<
Minsc: Minsc is sorry for thinking Raistlin really did things like that before.
Raistlin: Hmph. *sulk*
Helen: *whisper* He accepts it.
*Constantine is merely sitting, smoking and looking very amused.*


Review here.
"I dance the dance of the fool
and pray you find me mad
for if you lay hands upon the root
you'll know me, without illusion
and find me guilty of the truth."
-Malkav's Words

"LEGOLAS! YOU ARE HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MIRKWOOD! YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE YOUR WAY WITH RANDOM GIRLS IN CLOSETS!"-Glorfindel, "Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around" by crazyroninchic

"Dear Harry,

If Voldemort kills us, we turn into sparkly vampires. Can we panic NOW?

Sincerely, Ron"


“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.E- Albert Einstein

My Tolkien fanfic recs

Anime and manga fanfic recs

Book and game fanfic recs

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