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MST: And in the Darkness, Bind Them
Topic Started: Feb 17 2012, 02:54 AM (301 Views)
Ariel
Member Avatar
Professional Nutcase
Title: And in the Darkness, Bind Them
Author: SoBeLizard
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/MST
Text it is based on: And in the Darkness, Bind Them
Characters: Racist!Legolas Senile!Gandalf AnnoyingSue; the gang plus Morrigan
Summary: An incredibly stupid reason for Legolas breaking up and we almost get to see him fade
Warnings: Racism, idiocy

Ariel was the first to realize that they had a guest in the main room, mostly because she'd been expecting this any day now. They hadn't really done much since Celebrian, and it was only a matter of time. 

What was odd was that the young woman standing in the doorway didn't look particularly surprised or even annoyed. 

"Hey guys, we've got a fic coming!" Ariel remarked. 

"How do you know?" Ash asked as he glanced up. He had his guitar up and was playing Crazy Train. That wouldn't' be so bad but this was the twenty-third time he'd played it that day. They'd been counting. 

"Guest." Ariel pointed. 

Drizzt glanced up from the book he was reading. "She's dangerous." He remarked. 

Ariel raised an eyebrow. "I gathered." She said dryly. 

"Well, you all seem nice and comfortable here. Am I to be as happy in this prison?" She asked. 

"That's up to you." Harry shrugged. He frowned slightly as he examined her. 

She gave a noncommittal answer and did not so much as blink when Lloth wondered in in all her spidery glory. "Good morning, have you enjoyed your break?"

"I personally was waiting for the other shoe to drop." Ariel announced calmly. "It was too good to last." 

"You will be joined by Morrigan here."

"Would you like my opinion on that, or should I just keep quiet?" 

Drizzt smiled at her. "Certainly."

Ariel groaned. "You shouldn't have said that." Morrigan merely smirked at that. 

-=Authors note: This is my first LOTR fanfic, 
Ariel: Oh god. We know it's gonna be shitty.
Ash: If it weren't shitty, we wouldn't be sporking it, now would we.
Harry: The question is, is it the good kind of shitty or the boring kind?


and I've written many more chapters of it. But I'll only post them depending on the feedback I get. 
Ariel: So this is one of the gloryhound suethors. That's always good to know.

So if you like it, tell me for Legolas' sake! Also, I bet when ol J.R.R. reads this is will be rolling in his grave. 
Drizzt: Notice she says when, implying that he is going to read it. 
Harry: Lovely, a budding Necromancer. I really hope I don't have to go chop her head off.
Morrigan: Fighting the undead, it brings back so many fond memories.


Never meant any disrespect to the novels, I love em to death. This is just my point of view of an interesting twist to the plot of the story. Rater R for later chapters. =-
_ _

"I'll die before I ever see the rings in the dirty hands of an Elf!"
Drizzt: How racist.
Morrigan: That can be arranged.


The commotion that followed that crude remark was practically endless. Leave it up to Gimli, the Dwarf, to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. 
Drizzt: Are you saying that if he had said that at any other time it would somehow be less offensive?
Morrigan: How droll; their very way of life is being threatened and they still cannot get along.


Hatered was defined in Middle-earth by the relationship between Dwarves and Elves. 
Harry: So no one else is permitted to hate other people? 
Drizzt: I wouldn't mind living there.


Dwarves, the fat, earth-dwelling warriors who cared of nothing but themselves 
Morrigan: That sounds familiar. Admittedly, they are rather amusing after they've been at the mead.

were not to be ignored by the counsel. 
Ariel: This is one of those morons who thinks that Elrond sent out invites to the Council isn't it. 
Morrigan: That's rather stupid, isn't is. What if they were intercepted?
Drizzt: Exactly.


So they sent their representative. Gimli. 
Murphy: What happened to Gloin and Groin?

And the elves themselves, who are tall, and fair skinned, with long flowing hair and remarkable beauty were only dragging the commotion on longer. 
Drizzt: Not that I blame them. It is rather hypocritical for a dwarf to call an elf dirty since they're the ones mining underground.

These two races, along with representatives of human, hobbit and wizard were all gathered at Rivendell, one town 
Ariel: *sighs* Rivendell is not a town. It's a house; hence the name 'Last Homely Home'.

of Elf- race. Amongst all the arguing and commotion, one sat alone. 
Murphy: He'd been put in time out.

He sighed, half annoyed, half scared, and stood up.
Drizzt: "Can someone point me towards the mens?"
Ariel: "Who wants to order pizza?"


"I will take the ring."

No one was listening.

"Ahem...I WILL TAKE THE RING."

Slowly, everyone was quiet. 
All stared at the short, blue eyed-curley haired hobbit. 
Ariel: It should be blue-eyed curly-haired.

He was the bearer of the One Ring, the one ring to rule them all...he, was Frodo Baggins.

"I will go, but I do not know the way." He said in a quiet; child-like voice.
Ariel: :headwall: Frodo is not a child. He is in his fifties. Stop treating him like one!

Aragorn, one representative of the human race, stepped forward.
Ariel: "I confess. It was I that graffitied the bathroom."

"Little one, I will protect you to the end. You have my sword."
Morrigan: Giving children weapons, now? What has the world come to?
Ariel: He's in his fifties, you know. 
Morrigan: Oh I know; he doesn't act fifty, I've noticed.


One of the Elves, a wiser and swifter looking fellow stepped forward as well.
Morrigan: Oh look, another eager to scurry off on a grand adventure. 
Ariel: To save Middle Earth. 
Morrigan: Oh yes; there's always something at stake isn't there. You and I both know that they're there for the adventure.


"And you have my bow." Gimli offered his Axe...but the Elf wasn't listening. 
Ariel: He was deaf in one ear and couldn't hear out the other.

He had just pledged his young life and his strength of protection to a little hobbit who was half his height. 
Morrigan: Just wait until you start picking up strays on the road.

He realized the road ahead was going to be hard...
Drizzt: It always is.

Suddenly, three other hobbits rused forward, out of hiding in trees and bushes. 
Harry: The attention to detail is spectacular, isn't it.

These three, Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck, Preregrin "Pippin" Took, and Samwise "Sam" Gamgee, were Frodo's best friends. He jumped, they jumped.

...yes, this was going to be interesting...

Then, there were nine, standing alone. One great wizard, Gandalf the Grey; 
Morrigan: How does one measure greatness, I wonder. Is there a competition?

one Dwarf, Gimli; two human men, Aragorn and Boromir; four little hobbits, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin; and then, there was one Elf...
Morrigan: The more the merrier. Especially when the romancing starts. And the fighting. 
Drizzt: Right.


"You are...The Fellowship of the Ring!" 
Morrigan: What an awe-inspiring name. I believe the dog could have come up with something better.

Cheers erupted as the high Elf Elrond spoke these imortal words.

...he, was called Legolas. Yes, this was going to be an interesting adventure after all.

_ _

"See, the woods beyond Rivendell..."

Gandalf went on and on about the history of the road the Fellowship travelled on. 
Morrigan: Doubtlessly there is some religious figure or another involved. How dull.
Drizzt: The history of a road? That does sound rather boring.


Half were half paying attention, half were hardly half there. 
Murphy: Could you repeat that in a manner we can understand?

Legolas was neither. He purposely blocked Gandalf out as much as he could, trying to enjoy the wildlife around him. 
Ariel: I don't blame him. History of roads isn't something that would interest me either.

Suddenly, he heard a small branch snap, just off of the path they were on. 
Morrigan: Amateur.

He was the only one who seemed to notice. Immediately his hand was on his bow, and his keen eyes scanned the forest. Finally dismissing it as nothing, he continued onward. Having almost caught up with the others, he heard a whirring sound, and a small projectile flew right infront of his nose. 
Drizzt: Pathetic. I wouldn't have missed. 
Harry: I don't think any of us would have missed.


Grabbing and loading his bow at an amazing speed, he aimed for the woods.
Ariel: What's he gonna do, shoot the trees?

"Gandalf! Halt! Draw your weapons!"
Morrigan: Yes, let's stand out in the road and shout our intentions. Might as well make it easy for our enemies.

They took heed to his warning, and they all drew their respective weapons of choice. 
Morrigan: A staff. 
Ariel: A hunting rifle. 
Harry: Drumsticks. 
Murphy: Chainsaw. 
Drizzt: Icingdeath and Twinkle. 
Ash: Awesome god powers.


Facing where Legolas faced, they all deeply saught the threat. Just as they were letting down their guard, another arrow flew by, barely missing Frodo and Sam. 
Morrigan: Alistair has better aim.

Legolas took a chance and just fired his bow to the woods. Suddenly, a hooded figured jumped from the trees and landed in the middle of the road, bow in hand, sword drawn. 
Drizzt: What use is that? Unless you're planning on stabbing people with your bow, why bother carrying it with a sword out?

Legolas sighed with annoyance and put away his bow. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Aragorn about to strike with his sword.
All: *cheers*
Drizzt: Finally, someone acting in character.


"Aragorn, friend, do not be so hasty. Put your weapons away and do not waste your time, words, or weariness on this creature."
Drizzt: ...Why? The person was shooting at them and has a sword drawn. Why shouldn't Aragorn be attacking him or her?
Ariel: Because that would be the logical thing to do.


"...you know him?" A questioning Aragorn raised his eyebrow in hesitance, but put his sword back in it's hilt. 
All: ... :rofl:
Ariel: He was holding a naked blade?
Morrigan: I have finally found someone less intelligent than Alistair.


The figure shook the hood off and let it hang behind the Elven cloak.

"Her. Yes, that brown-nosed stuck up knows me. I'm suprised he's lending you his skills, if you can call them that..." 
Morrigan: Do denizens of this realm normally great each other with attempted murder attempts?
Drizzt: Not normally no. In Menzoberranzan, however, that is a different story.


A suprisingly feminine voice came from the lungs of their attacker. 
Harry: Her kidneys had a deep baritone.

Her dark brown hair was shaved close on the sides, and drawn in a clean braid down the top. Stunning clear eyes almost identical to Legolas' own. 
Ariel: What, color-changing?

Sneering, she placed her bow back into it's holder.
Harry: Notice she still hasn't sheathed her sword.

"Well at least I'm not a dirty, pathetic Half-elf! At least my blo-"
Ariel: Everyone say hello to Umbridge
All: Hi Umbridge. 
Morrigan: Who is this Umbridge person?
Harry: A witch who was prejudiced against anyone who didn't have pure blood. I would live to show her what a 'real' wizard is capable of.



He didn't get much farther when he realized a sword was about one inch from his face. 
Morrigan: Were it me, I would have a new set of eyes for my collection.

Reaching slowly for his dagger, his female counterpart growled.

"Don't you EVER call me a dirty Half-elf again. I swear Legolas Greenleaf, Archer of Mirkwood, I WILL have your little Elf-"
Morrigan: How childish. Don't threaten him, remove it. 
Ariel: You realize that she's probably his love interest?
Morrigan: Your point? Sleep with him and then remove it once he is spent. 
Men: *edging away from Morrigan*


"That is quite enough!" Bellowed Gandalf, a gleam of impatience in his eyes. "Who, pray tell, is your little friend here, Legolas?"
Harry: Why is Gandalf treating Legolas like an unruly boy?
Drizzt: Because he's acting like one?


"She is most certainly NOT my fri-"

"I'm NOT his friend, and my name is L-"

"Her name is Linaael, unfortunately, she is of Mirkwood. However , she is known by pochers, the high Elvish counsel, and anyone with a brain as-"

"Link." Gandalf finished. 
Ariel: I have an idea. Let's play the caring game. Try to give a shit about anything going on. 
Harry: We already know that's not going to happen. 
Ariel: Yes, but this seems fraught with pointless dialogue, and we're not even halfway through the first chapter.


He was about to say something more, when Link started up again.
All: *yawn*

"I can fight for myself, Legolas...I can live for myself, Legolas...I can eat, sleep, walk, and run for myself, Legolas...I don't see a reason why I cannot SPEAK FOR MYSELF! Pig-headed, Orc-brained-"
Morrigan: I would almost accept Oghren's attempts at wooing me over this monotony.

"At least I'm truly immortal! At least I will never age, and never sleep, and never tire, and never trudge..."
Drizzt: Never sleep? I thought elves slept, just not as much as humans. 
Ariel: And never tire?
Harry: What does trudging have to do with an elf?
Morrigan: Clearly the author has never heard of subtlety. 
Murphy: I know what you mean; I don't see how Legolas can possibly be more over-the-top.


A flicker of pain shadowed in Link's eyes. He had to rub it in, didn't he...
Harry: I would just like to point out that Elrond is several thousand years old and still kicking. What is this bullshit that Legolas is spouting?

"But you, you daughter of an Elf and a Human...you may live for hundreds of years, but slowly, VERY slowly, you will age. 
Drizzt: Why is no one else reacting to this? Do they condone racism?
Ariel: I think it would be more of blood purism, but it is rather odd. I can't see Aragorn agreeing to this kind of thinking since his foster father is a half-elf.


You will grow old. And eventually, you will DIE as an ugly, old woman. 
Morrigan: Better that than what my dear mother was doing. I would rater die young than be possessed by the old crone.

While I will look upon you in the same image and strength that I am today."
Murphy: Which, according to most slashers, is not much in either the image or the strength department since you are usually the one being abused and are described as being rather frail and delicate.

"Oh how you underestimate me, Legolas! I am as skilled an archer as you, 
Morrigan: What a childish argument, and it's stopped this great quest. Are you incapable of walking and talking at the same time, or are elves not capable of multi-tasking.

but I excel with my sword...something you do not. I am as light on my feet, as swift and as silent as you. But I am mortal...in a way. I will live to see your great-great grandsons great-great granddaughters. 
Harry: Assuming he ever has any?

I can only die prematurely by the SAME THREE things you can die from. Steel...fire...and grief.  I am an Elf at heart. However...I would rather die a weak, burdened old woman with only a pipe to her name than be anything in your image!"
Harry: It's like listening to Molly arguing with her brothers. Headache inducing.

With a roar, Legolas grabbed his dagger and prepared to leap forward to attack.
Morrigan: Simply amazing; they both seem to think that their childish argument is more important than a quest to save the world. And I thought I was self-centered.

"I said...that is ENOUGH!" Gandalf slammed his staff down, and a crack as loud as a whip filled the air. 
Drizzt: I hope he didn't just crack his staff. 
Morrigan: *snickers*


Both arguers silent, he took this oppurtunity to speak.

"Now, Legolas...I feel Linaael is here for a reason,"
Harry: Because heaven forbid the fellowship actually set out to dow what they're supposed to without drama.

"A nusiance..."

"Ahem. I feel she may be able to help us. Being of Elven blood, she is as keen as you are, can fight as well as you can with a bow, and is well with the sword. 
Morrigan: Just like the Grey Warden, picking up useless strays.
Harry: How does Gandalf know if she even has skills?
Ariel: Well he seemed to have recognized her.


She can be an ally to us. And Linaael, Legolas has been extremely helpful to us in any way he can be. 
Harry: Which isn't much at all considering you just started this quest.

Now, if you two can get along, we can expand this Fellowship..."
Drizzt: Well, this should be interesting.

Avoiding each others eyes, they calmly said they were willing to be civil. Link said she needed an adventure. 
Drizzt: She's clearly never been on an adventure. There's lots of freezing your ass off and huddling together for warmth with intermittent bouts of adrenaline-inducing fighting.
Morrigan: And you love every minute of it.


Her wild looks and sharp tongue would most certainly make this time so much more interesting.
Ariel: Who wants to take bets on how quickly they hook up?
Harry: Two Denarian coins that they hook up by chapter three. 
Drizzt: One crystal shard that they realize they're in love in chapter five. 
Morrigan: Mother's grimoire that their sexual tension remains unresolved.
Ariel: Alright.


"I have heard stories of why this group of travellers has come to pass. You, young Hobbit, bear the One Ring. But explain more, Gandalf the Grey."
Harry: So much for it remaining a secret. 
Drizzt: Yes, how did a random elf know about the one ring?


As Gandalf explained to Link the task that lay ahead, she locked eyes with Legolas. There was the thick layer of detest between that the Hobbits, Dwarf and Humans saw, then, there was the deeply hidden layer of pure hatred, that only Gandalf knew of...but underneath that, lied a fire that no one saw coming...
Ash: *boredly* A blind man could see this coming from ten miles away. It's not exactly subtle. 
Morrigan: Passion is often the best when done in anger or hatred.
Ariel: So you and Alistair...?Morrigan: Anger and hatred, I said, not idiocy and disgust.


"Excuse me, but Mr. Legolas sir...Mr. Gandalf sir, I'm not fleuent in Elvish tongue at all, and I have trouble pronouncing it and all...what does your name mean in common-tongue, Ms. Link ma-am?"

"And what is your name, little Hobbit?"

"I'm Sam Gamgee, this is Mr. Frodo Baggins, our ring bearer, Merry Brandybuck, and Pippin Took. The dwarf over there is Mr. Gimli, and don't feel bad, because he dosen't get along with Mr. Legolas very well himself. Also, there's Mr. Boromir there, and Mr. Aragorn. But we call him-"

"Strider. I know him."
Ariel: And no one is bothered by the animosity between the two? Or the rampant racism?

"And of course, you know Mr. Gandalf here?"
Drizzt: Who doesn't?

" Yes, I do. It's a pleasure to meet you all, nice to see you again, Strider and Gandalf. Sam, I'd really prefer you just call me Link, everyone else does."

"Her Elven name is Linaael, Sam, it means-"
Harry: I-am-too-lazy-to-come-up-with-a-proper-Elvish-name probably. 
Ariel: I thought it meant Resident-Mary-Sue-and-Legolas-love-interest.


"Stop, Legolas. I forbid I be known by it. It disgusts me."

Gandalf, bustled that he was interrupted, continued on down the path, with the Fellowship following. But the two Elves did not follow before Legolas whispered a final comment to Link.

"As you wish, Pureheart, of the tame beings of Mirkwood. 
Harry: What tame beings of Mirkwood?

Whose human mother was named 'Elenaor' and whose Elvish father was Allaokieen...Lightlove. 
Ash: Neither sound like they belong in Arda.

There is more to you than meets the eye, half-elf." And with a wink, he trotted off to join the others. Her face burning a bright crimson, she muttured under her breath at him before she ran off as well.

"There may be more to me than meets the eyes, but that is a part of me you will NEVER know, Legolas Greenleaf..."
All: Uh-huh, sure. 

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Ariel
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-=Authors note: Allrighty. I know this story seems like it goes too fast, but that is my style. I can't sit and write for hours and hours about the color of the birds in the trees and such, and I envy everyone who can. 
Harry: There's using details, and then there's needlessly over describing things. You are doing neither. It's also nice to know what reasoning your characters have for the way they act as well.

Also, I would appreciate no flames about my portrayl of Sam and Frodo's relationship.
Drizzt: Please don't tell me this is a slasher.

If you DO have something bad to say about it, then don't leave an anonymous review. At LEAST leave your e-mail so I can explain to you 2 things:
1.) Have you read the books? 
Ariel: Yes, actually I have.

What I write is EXACTLY how their relationship in the book is. 
Ash: If you're writing this exactly as it is in the book, why are people complaining?
Ariel: They want slash?


Is it homosexual? Well, Sam grew up to marry Rosie and they had 13 kids. Go Sam, go sam...er...but if that is how you WANT it to be, then so be it. 
Drizzt: I would prefer it, yes.

But I think it runs deeper than that. Sam is pure. 
Morrigan: Pure? Hmm, I shall have to find this Sam. Purity is so difficult to collect these days.

And he DOES protect "Mr. Frodo" to the end. Wouldn't you just die to have someone like that around you?
Morrigan: How sappy. I think I would rather rely on my own talents thank you. I don't have to worry about them backstabbing me or poisoning me in my sleep.

2.) I am an AUTHOR.
All: Suethor.

I write FICTION. 
All: Fanfiction.

And if I want Sam and Frodo to grow up and adopt 30.65 kids together, I'll write it like that. 
Drizzt: That's a lot of kids. 
Morrigan: Hmm, I'm sure I can think of something to do with so many sniveling children. Perhaps I'll summon a rage demon with their corpses.


(Not sayin I will...my story isn't as expanive as mr. Tolkiens)
All: Clearly.
Morrigan: That would require some intelligence.


Please respect that. If it's CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, I welcome it with open arms. But if it's "You suck, frodo isn't gay elijah wood is my baby..." 
Ariel: I have never understood the fascination with him. He also kind of makes me think of a Madame Alexander doll.

so on and so forth...please, put an address to your name. Thank you!=-
Drizzt: Certainly. My address is 001 Cemetery Lane. 

_

The Fellowship were spending the night at a small clearing in the woods before travelling to the Mountains the next day. The fire that kindled earlier was almost out, and the snores of the Hobbit folk could wake the dead. But not all were graced with sleep. Aragorn stood quite a piece away from the others, chatting with Link.
Harry: So is this a crossover with the Legend of Zelda?

"What ever became of you, after we last met? Rivendell was a much brighter place then, as you recall. Remember when you used to play with me in the forest, and taught me how to use a bow?" 
Morrigan: I'm sure that's not all she taught you. :evileyebrow:

Aragorn's eyes gleamed with rememberance. "After about 20 years, you left, I forgot why. I never saw you since."
Ariel: Wouldn't make much of a difference seeing as he's been rangering since he was twenty or so.

"Everyone thought I went on a mission and never returned. Truth is, I was banned from Rivendell.
Ariel: The elves got tired of her polka music every night after dinner.
Drizzt: Elrond caught her smoking weed with Elladan and Elrohir and decided she was a bad influence. 
Harry: He got tired of her ordering pizza from Bree with his express card.


I do miss it, every day. The world is so cold, and alone here. But I've been around long enough to know that it only makes one stronger."
Morrigan: I may yet grow to like her.
Ariel: She's a Sue with a twagic backstory. 
Morrigan: I never said that I wouldn't kill her should we ever meet.


Aragorn frowned. This brought up many questions.

"Why were you banned, Linaael?"

She slightly blushed at her Elven name.

"Elrond realized I was not like the rest of the Elvenwomen. I was a warrior, rough and unladylike. 
Ariel: I do hope that he doesn't spout shit like that around Galadriel. I'm quite sure she didn't sit around embroidering during the time when Morgoth was around. And Lùthien risked her life to help Beren; I'm quite sure sneaking around Morgoth's fortress is very unladylike.

He sent me out, to go and find my place. 
Ariel: How is sending her out to 'find her place' going to make her more ladylike? Wouldn't that make her more like Aragorn?

He did not want me to return to Rivendell, and I never have. He would not approve of me here, but I do not care. He isn't a bad man...I just didn't turn out right. But what do you expect from a half-elf?"
Harry: Seeing as Elrond himself is, I would expect better of him.

Aragorn frowned, but said nothing further of the current topic.

"How long have you known Legolas?"

Link sighed. This was a tough subject, and she had to be careful. Very, very careful. She hated him, with a passion. But what was that passion? Was it hatred?
Morrigan: Better hatred than love.

"Many, many years...since we were Elflings. 

Ariel: You realize Legolas is two thousand at the very least, right? How is that possible if you apparently grew up with Aragorn?
Drizzt: I think she was supposed to be a tutor or something.


When I was banned from Rivendell, his father forbade him to be friends with me any longer. Our relationship, which was one friendly, turned bitter. I would not call him Prince, and he detested that. I don't know about him...I don't know how it turned this way..."
Harry: So, let me try to understand this. You used to be friends and stopped because you refused to call him prince? Or was it because his father forbade it? 
Ariel: Either way, he wasn't a very good friend.


Aragorn placed his hand over hers.

"But enough of this. How's Arwen doing?"
Drizzt: "Well, she finally got into that art college..."
Ariel: "She ran away to join a traveling circus."


Whilst the two talked of Arwen, Aragorn's love interest, a shadow walked calmly and quietly away from the two. 
All: Legolas.

Turning once more to see them, he stopped. They were laughing, flirting as just friends, and enjoying themselves very much. Glaring with a bitter eye, Legolas quickly walked twards the camp.
Drizzt: You brought this onto yourself, mate.

"I will not torture myself like that. Who is she...who is she to say things? I will not tolerate her. Why does it have to be like this?"
Ariel: Because you decided your title was more important than your friend.

He whispered to the trees, and to the night sky, as a silver tear stained his pale, fair cheek a blood red. The tears of Elves...
Morrigan: Interesting. I wonder if I could collect these tears. 
Ariel: Elrond's around here somewhere. Ten minutes around you should have him crying.


_

The next morning, the group set off to the Mountains. Gimli and Legolas were involved in a heated discussion over who started the Elven and Dwarven hatred.
Morrigan: Oh how I long for the quiet of the Tevinter Forest.

"It was most certainly NOT the Dwarves, we are a noble people!" Stated Gimli.
Drizzt: So you're fighting but you don't know who started it? Do you even know what it's about?

"Ai! And you say we are not? Who was first, Gimli? We were. We were first here, so therefore we had the right-"

"You were first, tis true. First to start your Elvish bickering! By my Axe..."
Ariel: This is giving me a headache.

Gandalf and the human men were discussing routes of passage that were possible if the one did not work out. Link was behind them, telling Merry and Pippin of the most rich and wonderful pipe-weed she had found in her travels. A small piece, yet private, behind the rest walked Sam and Frodo. Quietly talking of Bilbo (Frodo's Uncle) and Gandalf, and Elves and Ringwaiths.

"I was so frightened, Mr. Frodo, I thought you were a gonner. I didn't hardly leave your bedside when we got to Rivendell. I'm so sorry Mr. Frodo, I could have done something, I was such a coward!"
Drizzt: If you think it's your fault every time he gets hurt, you'll never get anything done.

Frodo's heart fell at this statement. 
Ariel: Why would his heart fall? Does he not want Sam to worry if he gets hurt?

There was nothing Sam could have done, nothing at all. But it made his heart soar to know he had at least one friend who is faithful, even in the worst of times.
Drizzt: That was hardly the worst. Just wait until you run into the giant spider.

"Samwise, listen to me. There's absolutely nothing you could have done. You were not a coward...I was. I put on the stupid ring to try and hide. But they could see me...I was scared too, Sam. When I saw you, all worried, I thought it was the end of me. I'm just glad we're on our way, and that we're both allright..."
Morrigan: Why, oh why, were these two sent on a potentially life-threatening quest?

Frodo gently patted Sam on the back, smiling lightly to him. Sam reached up and felt a whisp of Frodo's hair, and gently touched his hand.

"It's warm, Mr. was so cold, only a few days ago..."
Drizzt: It's only going to get colder.

***

They stopped and rested for a few minutes on top of one of the great stone mountains. They built a fire, and Boromir practiced swordplay with Merry and Pippin. Sam and Frodo sat together, along with Aragorn not far away, watching the festivities. Gandalf was speaking to Gimli, while Legolas and Link were watching guard.

"Legolas...do you see that?" Link pointed to a black cloud rushing twards them...straight twards them.
Ariel: *Legolas, stupidly* It looks like a dinosaur.

Sneering at her, he watched where she pointed.

"It's nothing, can't you see?" She glared ahead still, but suddenly screamed.

"LEGOLAS, LOOK YOU FOOL!"
Morrigan: Perhaps you should head back to Rivendell and pick up competent people who actually know what they are doing, rather than bickering teenagers. At least our bickering wasn't endangering our lives and the rest of the world.

His head shot up, and he screamed at Gandalf.

"Gandalf, spies! Head for cover!"

Looking up they all dove someplace where they were closely hidden, Legolas and Link diving under the same rock. His chest was pressed against her back, and he breathed quietly on the side of her neck. It had been a long time, since they were in this position. 
Morrigan: Oh really? So there was more going on; I thought as much. Only a lover's spat could backfire that spectacularly. And that is why I kill my lovers.

The memories overtook him, and he forgot himself as he took his hand and gently brushed it through her hair. Jerking, she dove out of the cave, and stood up. 
Drizzt: Were it me, I would have insisted on heading back to Rivendell at that precise moment. This is beyond stupid; if the crebain had still been around, that would have given away their position.

The flock was gone, and everyone was slowly climbing out of their shelters. Including Legolas, cursing his stupidity.
Morrigan: You should be. Not even Alistair is that stupid!

"What the hell was that, Legolas? How dare you! Draw your bow!" She had hers out and loaded, and aimed for his head. He hesitated.
All: :headwall:
Ariel: Do the words 'vitally important quest' mean nothing to you two idiots?
Ash: Why hasn't Gandalf kicked them out, told them to go home? Seriously, they're endangering the quest.


"I said draw your bow, archer of Mirkwood!" She sneered, and pulled her Elven haired bowstring back.

He looked dismayed, even sad. Then, like lightening, he grabbed his bow and loaded it within half a second. They both let go at the same time, and right in the middle, between both archers, their arrows collided. 
Drizzt: Yeah, right.

Staring at the two broken pieces of Elvenwood on the hard rock ground, the Fellowship was silent.

"Fools. You both...fools." whispered Gandalf, as he stared them both down. 
Drizzt: *angrily* Why the hell was Legolas permitted to come since he clearly isn't mature enough? He's acting like a spurned teenager!
Morrigan: This is a disgusting display of stupidity. I wasn't exactly the most endearing person on our quest, but even I know when to act responsibly.


Not bearing to look at him any longer, they both looked away, which only resulted in their locking eyes. A fire deep within their souls flared up, and the rest of the Fellowship walked away. 
Ariel: Why am I not surprised. 
Drizzt: So they're not even going to say anything about their behavior? Idiots. Bruenor would be knocking heads together. 
Morrigan: The Grey Warden would have dismissed us by now.


They don't know how long they stood there like that, but after awhile, Link's tears could withstand their barrier no longer. Dropping her bow, she fell to her knees and wept freely. 
Morrigan: Oh my heart bleeds for you.

However, even though she was of Elven blood, her tears were only a pale blue. 
Drizzt: Elves have blue tears? Really?

Legolas only stood there. Blinking only once, he ran off twards the departing Fellowship.
Morrigan: And this is why love is a bitter cancer that should be removed.

Link sat there, and dried her eyes.

"Do you not have a heart as you once did, Legolas?" 
Ariel: No, he sold that for a title.

She cried out at his disappearance. She had no comfort, no solace. She grabbed her bow, and was about to run in the opposite direction twards her home in the woods, when she looked to the ground and saw it. Right where Legolas was standing before he left, 
Ariel: Was a puddle of urine. 
Harry: Damn, Gandalf is scary.


there was a single drop of red. She crawled over to it, and laid her finger upon it. It was not blood. She put her finger to her lips, and tasted the salty bittersweetness of the red liquid. It was a single Elven tear. Purely shed. After a long while of meditation, she got up, and ran off to find the rest of the Company.
Morrigan: I believe this fiction is full of idiots.
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-=Authors Note: The much argued age of legolas will be touched upon, as we know for a fact he's live over a thousand years. VERY young for an Elf... 
Ariel: Not really. 
Drizzt: That's old age for Drow.


just a thought. And I saw the movie again (3rd time) and I wondered a few things...
1. Why can he walk on the snow, and not sink...and yet everyone else does?
Ariel: Magic. 
Harry: He's a ghost. 
Drizzt: He's Jesus. 
Murphy: According to the Suethors he is.


2. Why does he not run out of arrows? He does in the book...
Drizzt: Perhaps he does like any good archer does and roots them from dead bodies as well as picking up those he fired. Barring that, perhaps he makes them.

3. Maybe it's because he's special...

But my final name for him shall be "Mr. Legolas I-can-walk-on-snow-and-not- sink-and-I-can-never-run-out-of-arrows-because-apparently-I-have-a- bottemless-quiver-and-if-you-stuff-mashed-potatoes-in-your-mouth-and-say-my- name-it-sounds-like-Legolamb...Greenleaf. 
Morrigan: Has the author not progressed past childhood?
Ariel: Since she hasn't learned table manners, probably not.


Also, congradulations to everyone on the cast and crew of LOTR, they won AFI's movie of the year, against 9 other very good movies. Yay! Sorry this one is so short, but it's one of those small, yet packs a lot of punch chapters.=-
Ariel: Yes, it's a lot like getting punched in the brain repeatedly.

Oh and THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER...
All: Dammit!

just to clear up some review confusion. Not the last chapter people...thank yas!

_

"Yes, well Mr. I-can-run-on-top-of-snow-and-not-sink, the rest of us are not so gifted." 
Murphy: Why is Aragorn acting like a teenager?
Ash: Because this was written by a teenager, maybe?


Aragorn muttered under his breath as he dug through the trenches of the deep Mountain ravines they were on. He hoped Legolas would not hear him, but keen are the eyes and ears of Elven folk.

"Fellow Aragorn, I will never understand the weaknesses of men.
Morrigan: And stupid are those that underestimate them.

And half- men..." Legolas whispered the last phrase softer than the wind will blow on a hot summer day. 
Ariel: Seriously, why did they let him come? All he has done is spout meaningless racist bigotry and nearly get them caught.

He gazed back and saw Link, silently following the Fellowship. No one had noticed she was there, except Gandalf. While the men dug at the snow, Legolas snuck back behind the line, and hid in a snowbank awaiting Link's approach. 
Morrigan: This will not end well. I do hope they remember to root his corpse once she kills him.

When he saw her, he lept forward, grabbed her waist, covered her mouth and whisked her to the depths of the snow-cavern, hidden momentairly from the rest of the Fellowship.
Murphy: How long before she has had enough and puts an arrow through his eye?
Drizzt: I suppose it would be too much to hope that the Fellowship will leave them behind?
Harry: I am seriously considering finding this elf and showing him just what we men are capable of. I destroyed an entire species of vampires, one measly elf shouldn't be too much of a challenge. 
Morrigan: Impressive.


"Stop screaming...biting my hand will not work, Linaael. Stop struggling, listen to me..."
Ariel: WHY THE HELL SHOULD SHE? ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS INSULT HER LINEAGE, FEEL HER UP, AND NEARLY GET THE QUEST ENDED BEFORE IT HAS EVEN BEGUN? NOW YOU'RE KIDNAPPING HER! WHY YOU'RE EVEN IN THIS QUEST IS BEYOND ME!
Drizzt: Generally we blame the Sue for corrupting the character. 
Ariel: Yeah, well, just this once I'm siding with the Sue, because she hasn't really acted like a Sue. Most of the time we have seen her so far has consisted of him insulting her heritage and no one seeming to care. :headwall:


He pleaded and pleaded, and she finally relaxed. He knew there was some sort of trickery involved, so he was weary.
Morrian: Your powers of observation astound me.

"Now, I'm going to take my hand off of your mouth. However, binded to me you shall still be, I sense coyness and trickery about you." Slowly his hand strayed from her mouth.
Ariel: I would use that opportunity to bite him. 
Morrigan: I would roast him. I have this rather useful spell that shoots gouts of flames at people.


"GANDDAAALFFFF-oomph!" 
Drizzt: Can't blame her on that.

Her screams were quickly put to an end, when she once again had a mouthful of Elven hand. Legolas sighed.

"I see this will not be easy...Lady, please, then...stop your struggles and listen." He waited patiently for her consent to continue. Finally, he got it.

"Things have been, well, tense between us for the past couple hundred years."
Harry: I wonder why. Could it possibly be the fact that you continually insult her, demean her, publicly humiliate her, and kidnap her?
Murphy: Women don't generally like that, you know.


"Moomh ikee ousndh." A muffled reply, 'more like thousand'.

"Well, that may be true. I keep no records. However...I want to make a truce with you. Please, Linaael, hear me out. I do not like fighting with you, I do not wish this tenseness to continue. Will you allow a truce?"
Ariel: He sure doesn't act like he wants a truce. 
Harry: Man. I never thought of kidnapping people to demand a truce. Oh wait, that's never worked on me, why would I expect it to work on others.


He slowly gave her room to talk, by moving his hand away from her mouth a little.

"Hey, Legolas...I think it's a wonderful idea. Over the time we've known each other, it's been nothin but good times. We fell in love, you broke my heart, I broke yours, 
All: Of course.

you banished me from your wood because I would not bow down to you and call you Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, 
Ariel: I thought Thranduil banished her because Elrond kicked her out of Imladris.

you always had to be better than me, you constantly degraded me and told me I needed to be more ladylike...
Harry: When has Legolas said anything about her being ladylike?

yeah, Greenleaf...good times. There will be no truce...now get your filthy hands off of me."
Morrigan: I have found that removing the testicles often makes men more tolerable.

He numbly let her go. As she was getting up to leave hastily, he started screaming.

"You...you backstabber! Making me out as if I did all of the wrong! Curse you!" She stopped in her tracks, and looked back wildly.
Ariel: Well, from what I've seen, you are the one in the wrong. I don't hear her spewing bigoted bullshit every time we turn around.
Drizzt: But please, enlighten us. We're all on the edge of our seats here.


"You were the one who said you wanted to go off to war, and fight, you broke MY HEART...
Ariel: What war? Was there a war that I haven't heard about? Granted it's been about three years since I last read Lord of the Rings, but I think I'd remember a war..
Drizzt: These two have been at odds for about a thousand years over this? 


I thought I was going to lose you! You didn't return for a long time, so I moved on, what else could I do? 
Harry: Elves don't really 'move on', not like people do. You either loved her, or you didn't. If you truly thought she'd gone for good, you would have faded or spent the rest of your life mourning her absence. It's not like teenaged dating, moron.
Morrigan: And people wonder why I think love is a blight that must be removed.


Then you came back, thinking everything was going to be as it was before. But it WASN'T, you changed so much. All you cared for was killing, and murder, and battle...
Drizzt: War does tend to do that.

by then, I was instated as an active Prince. I NEVER DEMANDED you to call me Prince, I saw it as a sign of respect. I respected you, but I see you did not respect me. 
Drizzt: I personally think he was more in love with the idea of loving her than anything. Clearly he didn't respect her, otherwise he wouldn't have 'moved on' until someone brought news of her death, or her body home on a shield. He also wouldn't have expected her to remain unchanged by seeing people that she doubtlessly came to care about die in front of her.

When my father banished you, I was destroyed! You were all I had, and you left laughing and you didn't even say goodbye! 
Ariel: Alright so let's untangle this mess. She was involved with some war or another, got kicked out of Rivendell for being unladylike, and banished from Mirkwood for no discernible reason. Have I got that right? 
Drizzt: It probably wasn't the funny kind of laughter. It was probably the hysterical laughter of someone who has just lost everything they hold dear.
Ariel: The wangsting between these two is giving me a headache.


YOU ALMOST KILLED ME, Linaael...If it wasn't for Elrond to come and help me...I was going to die of a broken heart.
Harry: Why didn't you?
Morrigan: *sarcastically* This is such a heart-wrenching tale. It almost makes me want to cry.


In a way, you did kill me. You died, inside of me, your spirit died within me, your love for me died...therefore, I died as well."
Harry: No, your love for her died. If it was ever there in the first place, which I'm doubting.

A long silence, save for Legolas' sobs, filled the cold atmosphere. No longer could the howling wind and the shifting ice be heard. All was silent, in this moment of truth.
Drizzt: This is so very touching. I think every one of us here can safely say we have a better idea of love than these morons. 
Morrigans: Quite amusing really.


No one noticed Gandalf silently standing, hidden by the snow, 
Drizzt: Don't you have more important things to be doing, like destroying a ring?

a few feet away. Legolas' head lifted up, hoping, praying to see some kind of pity, some kind of hope...

...her eyes were cold. Dead...as if there had never been a spark in them.
Ariel: Not a complete idiot. 
Morrigan: Though she certainly has her moments.


"You're a liar, Legolas. Your a damned liar...you couldn't have died from a broken heart. You couldn't have died from a loss of love..."
Morrigan: Everyone seems to find this drama more important than destroying an evil artifact. Were I a resident, I believe I would join Sauron. Clearly these fools aren't going to succeed.

His eyes, silver tears with red trails still flowing, opened and closed painfully.

"...because I. Never. Loved you."
Ariel: Ouch. That's what you get for spouting racist bullshit.

She spat on the red, Elven tear stained snow, and ran as fast as she could away. Legolas brought his knees up to his chest, and held himself, shaking against the snow. 
Harry: Oh grow a pair. It's not the end of the world. On the other hand, if you don't get your act together and focus on the quest, it may very well be.

Lonliness enveloped him, but his feelings were clear. His stained-red face looked up, and into Gandalf's eyes. There, Gandalf saw something he never truly saw within that Elf.
Harry: He saw what an asswipe he is?

He had seen it before...and he had witnessed its aftermath. But never in the joyful eyes of the Good Archer of Mirkwood.

He saw a star...dying. 
Ariel: Doubtful. Dying stars are a lot more interesting than this.

Even the red from the tears was not a vibrant as it had been before. His whole body had a faded look about it. He started back, in horror. 
Harry: Oh look, he's fading. 
Ariel: Is it possible? Do we finally get to see someone fade?


This Elf was dying. And not for the first time. He saw no hatred, no loathing, no dislike...he saw hurt. He saw pain. He saw tenderness being destroyed. 
Harry: Tenderness? I think we're talking about two different Legolas' here. The one I've seen did not strike me as being tender in the slightest.

And he saw a love that had died a long time ago, black rose petals decaying on the floor of a room where lovers once danced. 
Ash: I see an arrogant asshole getting his ass handed to him on a platter.

He saw one, small flicker of love...but it was singed with the one last tear that fell from Legolas' eyes. Despair ridden, he began to fade. Slowly...and then more rapidly. Gandalf had no choice. He placed his hand upon the golden, fair Elven head, and sleep immediately claimed the weary eyes and body of the Elf...
Ariel: Aww. C'mon. Please? I really want to see him fade!

****

Standing on a high snow bank, not 100 yards away, she was witnessing these events. Her tears were becoming more and more silver...and small hints of red they were leaving behind. Her face was stone, and cold, however...as she whispered to the wind.

"I'm killing him...all over again..."
Morrigan: Dare I ask why?
Harry: This little lover's spat is missing something. 
Ariel: Things from her point of view, perhaps?
Drizzt: What actually happened?
Ash: An explanation for this bullshit?


And so it was for the Fellowship. Gandalf, carrying the fallen body of Legolas, continued to the camp site of the weary travellers. But not without gazing over at Linaael, looking deep into her eyes, and waving his staff.
Harry: Seriously, who the hell is this guy to decide their fates? If Legolas wants to fade, why can't he? You can't force love to happen, and you couldn't pay me to date this guy, even if I was a girl.
Murphy: I'd be teaching him the new meaning of pain.


Her eyes immediately closed, and she fell with sleep. The wooden arrow she had plunged into her heart had disappeared. But her Elven blood that stained the snow had not...
Ariel: What is this, Romeo and Juliet for elves? Why does she convince him to fade and then try to kill herself?
Harry: Who knows? Who cares?


_

Look for the next installment within the next few weeks.
Morrigan: Not very punctual, are you.
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