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State of the Union
Topic Started: Aug 7 2013, 12:25 PM (111 Views)
S.T.Ranger
Ranger
[ * ]




Think about this

1. Cows


2. The Constitution


3. The Ten Commandments


------------------------------------------------------------------------

COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during
the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in
Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in
the state of Washington ?
And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to
locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give each of them a cow..


------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot
of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not
using it anymore.


------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted
in a courthouse or Congress is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not
Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ..... it creates a
hostile work environment.
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S.T.Ranger
Ranger
[ * ]
Ponder These

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "oneslice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart than apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" When, it isn't all right .

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
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