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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 13 2010, 10:31 PM (645 Views) | |
| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 10:57 PM Post #11 |
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Varrock Strikes Gold By: Andrew King Varrockian miners have been mining in the Varrock mines for many years, but have not ever before come across something so magnificent! Varrock has now recently been attracting all sorts of tourists from across RuneScape. The Varrockian miners were extremely excited to finally get some recognition for the hard work they do day in and day out. I decided to do some work of my own, interviewing many of the miners. They say King Roald is taking all of the gold from them and selling it to make a profit. They feel this is unfair and they deserve the money for the hard work they do. What could all of this mean though? Perhaps Roald is planning to make a counter attack on Lumbridge and using the money to buy secret weapons? I interviewed Roald myself to see what information I could come up with. He stated that since the gold was in his city, he gets the profit, but he also told us he would not release what he is spending it on. More reason to believe Varrock is going to make a counter attack on the weak people of Lumbridge. We will post more on the situation as information is received, try to stay clear of Lumbridge and Varrock if possible, as Varrock may be bombed, and Lumbridge is full of freaking noobs asking for free stuff". |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 10:57 PM Post #12 |
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Romeo searches for his lost lover By: Andrew King For those that have done a quest all dear to our hearts and based off of a true story of a man in Varrock, oh dear Romeo, where art thou Romeo, yes that is right, the Romeo and Juliet Quest. At the end we see that Romeo never showed up to Juliet's fake funeral and that he still thinks she is dead. Romeo now tells our reporters that he has moved on. He is in search for his long lost lover. He realised that it was never Juliet that he wanted, but her cousin, Frank. Frank is a high retailed business man. He deals out real estate over in North Varrock just a little bit Northwest of the Varrock Museum. So we asked Frank about how he would like going out with Romeo and just shut his door, locked his windows, and muddered "go away, I want no boxes" A reference to what we think is his old habit of ordering boxes. Back when the Ybox came out he ordered over 100 boxes. It was the new hip gaming system of Runescape. Fit for children of all ages. But it seems like Frank didn't want any more boxes. We think he has gone nuts, but reporters ask the question "but has he gone nuts over Romeo?" Reporters went to talk to Romeo about this matter and they confronted him about Frank's old box addiction and he replied to us with "I do not a care for his addictions, I a care for de man himself. I wuv him. He be me sugar plum, understand?" Leaving reporters very puzzled on what he just said, reporters went back to Frank. Frank this time opened the door to an heart wrenched Romeo. The two then began to make love and fell on Frank's bed, breaking his bed. Not to worry, Frank has 99 construction, he will make a new one. So it appears that Frank and Romeo are getting married in the fall. The People's Press would like to wish them a happy marriage. We would also like to say that love happens no matter what town you are in. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 10:57 PM Post #13 |
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Master Farmer in Draynor angry about ass touching By: Andrew King One of the best ways to train thieving is by stealing seeds from a master farmer. Thousands of adventurers come around daily just to pick pocket master farmers. They are located in Draynor and Ardounge, but one Master Farmer, who will just go by the name of Travis, is tired of it. He says that it is no life for a farmer. That he always gets his ass constantly grabbed. " At first when they first came around the idea of stealing from me, I didn't mind it, I let them do it, but now I carry this long, long stick and I beat them upside the head with it stunning them, but it doesn't matter, they will come grab my ass." He says that perhaps he should move to something bigger like a rock or a magic spell. Stealing from him makes him lose business on his farming, plus annoys his wife. "I think my wife is jealous" Travis claims. "I have tried and tried again to tell her I hate it." Travis talks about how he hasn't been laid in months because of these people pick pocketing him. We asked the bank guard by Draynor bank on what he thought about the matter. "Look he has a nice ass, I often stare. Plus he has ranarrs and snap dragon seeds in his pockets. I would steal from him also if there wasn't a camera there." As said by the bank guard. Nothing is going to stop anybody from pick pocketing this man. He has a nice ass and his seeds are up for the picking. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 10:58 PM Post #14 |
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Father Aereck kills four and then himself By: Andrew King Some of people may have noticed that there used to be eight bankers within the grand exchange, now there is only four. There is a reason for this. A few days ago we recieved word that Father Aereck of Saint Zilyana church of Saradomin in Lumbridge took four of the eight bankers hostage in his church. This happened after his swamp bomb failed to go off. He held them in hostage situation for three whole days. He asked for ransom from King Roald, but King Roald told him that they are replaceable and that the commity will put out an ad for more bankers. Father Aereck then enraged killed the four innocent bankers and then himself. Father Aereck SR now runs the Saint Zilyana church of Saradomin in Lumbridge. Often complains about ghosts now because of some delusion. Edited by Andrew King, Sep 13 2010, 10:59 PM.
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 10:59 PM Post #15 |
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CLASSIFIEDS EDGEVILLE:
BARBARIAN VILLAGE:
VARROCK:
Edited by Andrew King, Sep 13 2010, 11:01 PM.
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 11:01 PM Post #16 |
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Local Dinoysis shares his love story By: Andrew King We all know him as W.O.M or Wise Old Man, but few know him by his real name, Dinoysis. He was an adventurer from long ago that did all quests that are humanly possible and he retired, saying he did his duty, but there was one thing he had to get off his chest. He told our reporters that he used to have a girl friend/wife. This was a shock to us. We always thought he was selfish and didn't care about anybody, but himself. All he cared about was wanting a reward and going on to the next prey. "No, you are correct" He told our reporters "I was very selfish back then, but I am this way because I lost my love. Her name was Zenevivia, or Zenny for short." He told our reporters that he lost his love because of all of his questing. It drove her nuts. The only thing he could ever love and he drove her away. "She way the only thing that made me happy" He went on about talking about the things about her that made him happy. Our news team set up another interview with him a week later and we saw a women in there. The wise old man greeted our news cast. Telling us that the women was Zinny and that some local adventurers won her back for him. "I am now complete I have the love of my life back." Together they went on one more tale of quests. They went to attack Wizard's Tower. A Thingymewut came out and stopped off the attack. Showing that perhaps anything in life can exist. A thingymewut can, as could Dionysis loving another person. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 11:02 PM Post #17 |
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Camelot from another planet By: Andrew King Camelot a small town. A town many of us pass without even knowing we went through it. Many use a teleport to get there, but never stay. Many use it to get to Seers Village or get to Catherby. There are few quests and events that lead us to this small little town. A town that is a court yard, a castle, and citizens, nothing more. Is it possible that this tiny and meaningless town is actually from another planet? Ancient stone book tablets and old hide parchment scrolls have been found at the digsite and given to our reporters. We had to have translations, but it seems that Camelot came here from a planet called Earth. Back in the third age sometime a whole town came through the rift and landed right onto a field in Seers Village. In the town were advanced Humans claiming to be from a planet called Earth and they fell through the rifts of time and space. So they decided to make themselves "knights" and join something they called the round table. Which infact turns out wasn't a table at all, but there rift transfer device. They ment to use it to go up into space, but it malfunctioned and is now dead. They are stuck in our space-time. They are ageless Humans. They age very slow. Back then they claimed their technology was so great they almost eliminated death. According to the Folk-Lore of the stone tablets and parchment scrolls, the knights suggested that given the geographical organization and the races that are on Gielinor, Gielinor might just be Earth! They said, but on their Earth they never found proof that Human civializations went that far back. How much the continents changed places Gielinor 3.5 million years before they left through the rift. It also suggests that they never moved. Camelot is in the same place it is right now as it will be in 3.5 million years. That is all that the parchment say as historians are working on translating the rest. Updates on the parchments will come soon. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 11:02 PM Post #18 |
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Obituaries Lumbridge- Johnathan Milton, 24, died Erysail, Bennath 23, 5 age-year 170 at Lumbridge Bait fishing spot, thought to have died of a massiave pike invasion. He left his wife of age 32, Henrietta Milton; his son, Edward Milton and his companion Duke. Born and raised in Lumbridge his whole life he seen many adventurers come and go to their deaths and Saradomin having pity on their souls. For this fateful day there was no pity on Johnathan's soul. For he did not respawn this day. The pike have been caught and burned in a funeral pyre in honour of Jonathan Milton. He will be missed by all loved ones. Funeral services will be held on Essianday, Bennath 28, 5 age-year 170 at Saint Zilyana of Saradomin church in Lumbridge. Ardounge- Christina Mayes, 96, died Twiblick, Raktuber 14, 5 age- year 170 at Wizard Crumpety while being teleport to the Rune Essence mines. She was the oldest in her family. She left behind nobody. Her family was 13th generation in Ardounge. They were the only Mayes located within Ardounge, so now the Mayes name is now dead in Ardounge. Wizard Crumpety is not to blame, Ardounge authorities are saying. Although he will have to make a few statements for the Seers court system. He will not be tried, they are voluntary statements and he does not have to complete them. As requested on her death will, she will not have funeral services. She wishes to be burned at Zealot of Saradomin church of in Ardounge. Her ashes will be spread into the river system. Wilderness- over 80 players in mass suicide pact, ranging from ages 13-72, died Gullday, Septober 5, 5 age-year 170 at level 43 wilderness. All these plays took their lives by jumping into a lava bed located at level 43 wilderness. The suicide pact was something that Misthalin authorities commity knew about, but did nothing about. Claiming that their choice to take their life is all theirs. By the looks for the charred bones that washed up on shore there were over 80 players in the suicide pact. Judging by bone densities and other tests took on the bodies they were all aged from 13-72 and poor. Most likely victums of abuse. They all left behind families, most of the families say they will not be missed. For those that will be missed. There is a mass burning of all the players remains located in level 13 wild at Saint Lucien of Zamorak Temple in the wilderness. It will be held Twiblick, Septober 7, 5 age- year 170. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 11:02 PM Post #19 |
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Horoscopes][/b/] Canis: Your prayers will be answered today. You will recieve a check from your dead aunt, leaving you enough money to move to Varrock. Ursa: For you today dear Ursa you will have most of your belongings stolen from the chest in your room by a random adventurer. Tucanae: All of your animals that you own will run away because lack of feeding, even if they are in a menagerie or your bank. Andromedae: You will be granted full iron and a steel scimitar by an adventurer today while respawning in Lumbridge. Centauri: In the Stronghold of Security today for you young Centauris out there you will gain a strength level by killing Goblins. Hydrae: Beware of the water, it kills. Pegasi: Khzard and Gnomes, stay away from both. One will shoot you the other will stab you. Draco: You will be forgetful today, so remember if you kill anything today that shoots flames drink an antifire potion or wear an anti dragon fire shield. Orionis: There is an 80% chance of death while sleeping tonight for all of you Orionis, perhaps you should stay up. Vplantis: Your brother knows your weakness. Better watch out for those of you that are farmers. Most of your crops could get diseased today. |
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| Andrew King | Sep 13 2010, 11:03 PM Post #20 |
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Dung found in Varrock Fountain By: Andrew King On Erysail, Septober 8, 5 age-year 170 local fur salesman, Baraek Brigson, of Varrock was selling fur as he usualy does on a normal day. When he noticed something floating in the water of the Varrock Fountain. So he walked up to whatever was floating in the water and picked it up. Baraek tells reporters that it seemed to be squishy and smelly. After several minutes of rubbing, squeezing, and smelling this object, he screamed as loud as he could and shouted "It is dung, it is a big ole piece of dog dung." Baraek told us that he went to Varrock authorities and they told him it was most likely from the smelly old mutts running around the city. Nobody knows how they got there, but according to Baraek, Varrock is now starting to have a dog patrol so they can catch the mutts. Perhaps having a dog patrol will stop Baraek from touching, rubbing, and smelling random pieces of objects, then again, perhaps not. |
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2:58 PM Jul 11