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| We're Making a Band!; Purely Theoretical | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 18 2011, 08:53 PM (962 Views) | |
| Innocent Suspicious Kid | Oct 18 2011, 08:53 PM Post #1 |
Vigilante
  
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Here's Scumhunt's theoretical band, The Rivers Won't Work! Not to flaunt anything in the face of the real musicians I know exist on this forum. Here are our band members, theoretically. THE RIVERS WON'T WORK (MEMBERS) Innocent Suspicious Kid, the band's frontman. He only does back-up singing, dancing, and the occasional whistle when the time calls for it (all the time). He'll also whip out an electric harmonica every once in a while. It's hilarious. All the cool stuff happens behind him and he's just all up in the audience's line of sight to it. The entire show you'll see people close to the stage leaning to the left or right, trying to see around him. Talon's on drums and electric saxophone. Purely theoretical, but at the same time, it'd be saxophrumming. Talon keeps trying to give up being the band's drummer and focus on the sax appeal (© 2011, Maroon inc.) maybe because he doesn't actually play drums, maybe because he just doesn't like them. The world will probably never know. Or care enough to actually ask Talon. Either way, he's an instrumental member of our band. Bahahaha. Shiny on tambourine. Sometimes we rig it up to electricity, but it usually just electrifies Shiny. Which does make a cool sound. Also, it's on fire. Flaming electric tambourine. Shiny also does the band's pyrotechnics, so if he gets burnt he can't sue. His band nickname is Urine. For whatever reason, this is the only part of his job he's really adamant about. Maroon on synth! He's always trying to get in string war duels with the band's other string members. When they do actually accept, it's super crowd pleasing, since his opponent usually loses and dies. And then we have to find a new strings member that wants to be in our band but has never heard of what happened to the string members before them. It's super annoying and we try to stonewall him whenever he tries to do it on stage, but it is super fun to watch, so we don't always try as hard as maybe we should be. Snow on electric uilleann pipes. Look it up. Snow's also one of the most popular members of the band. Possibly because of his cool ponytail or because it was revealed to the world that he's actually the one and only Eira, prince of Wales. Obscure on trumpet. Obscure's pretty much one of the chillest people on the planet. He doesn't say a ton, but a lot of times he doesn't need to. Obscure's solemn quietness suits him well, since he drives the band's bus between shows. Staring calmly into the open road, Obscure always gets the band and the band's bus where they need to go. Oh, and if you haven't caught on to the theme here, it's an electric trumpet. Odo on electrolin (electric violin, I know, it's a super cool term). Without Odo the band wouldn't of happened, since he actually said the four words that would forever change all of our lives. That would be the band's name, guys. Aviana on vocals. ...Electric vocals? Not autotune, though. We need her voice straight up and raw and natural. Jessi is the only girl of the group, and while she occasionally disappears for a week or so at a time, she remains what holds many of the band members together. She, like ISK and Tkallab, have had to learn sign language when not on stage, thanks to Zephyr's stubborn protection of their voices. Bloodrayne on Electric Triangle. We also make his hair all spiky and dip the ends of it in liquid nitrogen before we go on. It's so cool. Q's our PR. Which is cool, 'cause what's in between P and R? He's sort of sadistic, and the only motivation for his job is to embarrass us the maximum number of people possible. Tkallab's our alternative vocals and in charge of lights. We can give him a wireless microphone and the audience will just go, "I hear another voice but where it's coming from?" And then Tkallab's just all "I can operate lights and sing at the same time and not even get any of the fame or babes, yo." And people online will figure out the truth and immortalize him there. PSN on electric piano. There's this feature on his piano where you can switch over the sounds to other instruments, and PSN's alternative sound is drums, so whenever Talon keeps on trying to give up saxophrumming and focus on the sax appeal, PSN goes into "gotta keep the drums going emergency mode" and switches over and rocks out. It should be noted that when this happens, PSN whips out drumsticks and plays his piano that way. Nyon on electric bass, which he calls his "Shockfish". Maybe because it's an actual bass. We're not quite sure what sounds it makes, but since it really goes with the whole "The Rivers Won't Work" theme, we're happy to find out. Nyon plays his bass more enthusiastically than one might think possible for playing dead fish hooked up to an electronic current. Zephyr is charge of the music and being responsible. We're one of the few electric-alternative bands to be so large and chaotic that we sometimes need ourselves a composer. Hiding below deck, Zephyr's the one standing between the band and the audience, and when people try to rush the stage, his baton doubles as a taser. On top of his on stage duties, Zephyr's also the Keymaster and Voice Holder. He takes Jessi's, Tkallab's, and ISK's voices when they're not using them, and he keeps them locked in portable glowing safes on his person. As Keymaster, he also holds all of the band's keys (keys to instrument cases, the band's bus, Snow's heart, etc.) The keys are the only things that can unlock Zephyr's voice safes. Shadow plays the mini-saxophone and Denning plays the mini-harmonica. It's adorable. Shadow helps Talon with the sax appeal, and the fact that there's at least one saxophone playing helps calm down Talon and keep him playing the drums for the maximum amount of time possible. Denning dubs over ISK when he tries to play his saxophone, since he's sort of a huge poser and doesn't want to admit he can't play harmonica for crap. Both of their jobs have created a sort of best friend bond between Shadow and Denning, and sometimes they act as though they're twins. They wear the same clothes and finish each others' sentences, and surprisingly, they've actually started to develop some twin ESP links between minds. It's gotten to the point where if you punch Shadow in the face, Denning will show up to practice the next day with a black eye. Edited by Innocent Suspicious Kid, Oct 23 2011, 05:48 PM.
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| Nix Machina | Oct 18 2011, 08:55 PM Post #2 |
Dreams of machine-men and trees and rivers...
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Signups are encouraged! The bigger the band, the more friends and family we can draft into coming to our concerts! |
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| Maswoon | Oct 18 2011, 08:56 PM Post #3 |
The Wildcard
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And groupies. You can't forget them groupies. Synth players love groupies. |
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| LordQ | Oct 18 2011, 09:23 PM Post #4 |
Warrior through time
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This is silly and you should all be ashamed. EXTREMELY ashamed. That said, sign me up as your PR man. It'll be my job to make you more ashamed >:3 |
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| PSN Strykr | Oct 18 2011, 11:40 PM Post #5 |
memes
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I am the best drummer. But that spot's taken. I'm the electrified electric piano player. Elecio? |
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| Maswoon | Oct 19 2011, 12:10 AM Post #6 |
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The Wildcard
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AW SHIT WE GON HAVE KEYBOARD DUELS |
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| Bumblebeta | Oct 19 2011, 02:11 AM Post #7 |
Buzz buzz, bumble bumble
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The Rivers Won't Work is an extremely cool name. Mind if I steal it IRL? >:) Vocals are already taken, I see :/ I'll just do the lights then. ...Electric lights. |
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| TalonJay | Oct 19 2011, 02:27 AM Post #8 |
Third Party Partier
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Strykr can be the drummer. I will focus on SAX APPEAL. |
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| Innocent Suspicious Kid | Oct 19 2011, 05:12 PM Post #9 |
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Vigilante
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Talon, the band roles have been updated. |
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| PSN Strykr | Oct 20 2011, 09:26 AM Post #10 |
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memes
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We should all do a webcam of us jammin' together, with one person livestreaming it. That would be GLORIUS. |
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| Zephyr | Oct 20 2011, 11:17 AM Post #11 |
God of Detective Work, Amateur Scientist
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I call composer/arranger + keys and vocals. Gonna go all Bear McReary on you guys. Also, needs more sitar. |
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| Shadow31 | Oct 20 2011, 04:39 PM Post #12 |
Resident source of chaos
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I would like to point out that I play alto sax IRL. And everything's better with more saxes. Just, when you hook up my sax's mike, don't electrocute me. Again. |
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| Zephyr | Oct 20 2011, 05:49 PM Post #13 |
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God of Detective Work, Amateur Scientist
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>implying that you need a microphone for any saxophone Let me bust out my alto and we can have mad crazy solo battles. |
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| Denning | Oct 21 2011, 01:19 AM Post #14 |
Morphs Anonymous
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Can I get the electric mini harmonica? Those things are so bad ass. |
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| Aviana | Oct 21 2011, 01:22 AM Post #15 |
Replay Official
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But, Denning, ISK's already got electric harmonica. D: |
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| Denning | Oct 21 2011, 01:24 AM Post #16 |
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Morphs Anonymous
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Whaaaaaaaaat? D: Does someone here know how to play me the worlds smallest violin? Fine I'm still beast at the plastic guitar hero controller I think. |
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| Maswoon | Oct 21 2011, 02:38 AM Post #17 |
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The Wildcard
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No no no, Ave. He wants the electric mini harmonica. You can get such a different sound with that than you can with a regular electric harmonica. |
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| Hyp-R | Oct 21 2011, 02:45 AM Post #18 |
paranoid to the bone
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well i used to play the bassguitar but i lost it because of ............"events" |
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| Aviana | Oct 21 2011, 08:19 AM Post #19 |
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Replay Official
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Oh, well, I suppose that's okay, then. 
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| Innocent Suspicious Kid | Oct 23 2011, 05:43 PM Post #20 |
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Vigilante
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Alright, band's been updated to include Zephyr, Shadow, and Denning. Hyp-R, if you want to be in the band, you should try to choose an instrument that hasn't been chosen and isn't guitar or bass. |
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| Scout | Oct 23 2011, 10:07 PM Post #21 |
Isn't something missing?
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Oh. I wanted keyboard. Maybe I could have acoustic piano. EDIT: Electric harp. Edited by Scout, Oct 25 2011, 11:09 AM.
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| Shadow31 | Oct 24 2011, 09:26 AM Post #22 |
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Resident source of chaos
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Alto and mini are two very different things. I'll let it slide though. And sorry about your toe, Denning. He hasn't posted yet, but I stubbed mine so bad he broke his. |
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| Zephyr | Oct 27 2011, 08:56 AM Post #23 |
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God of Detective Work, Amateur Scientist
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Oh, Scout. You take Keyboard. I'll take the grand piano and the pipe organ. :3 |
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| Scout | Oct 27 2011, 10:42 PM Post #24 |
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Isn't something missing?
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No, I'm on electric harp now. |
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| EnkoMaun | Oct 28 2011, 10:12 PM Post #25 |
I may be a liar, but I'm the most hygenic of them all.
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I'm the acoustic/flamenco guy, who just dashes into the crowds, lets out these sick flamenco tunes, captures all the hearts away and sleeps with like, 3 women at the same time. |
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| AgreeableChap | Feb 15 2012, 04:35 PM Post #26 |
You be food
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NECRO'D LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. I need a part in this. |
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| Omanyte | Feb 16 2012, 03:33 PM Post #27 |
The Omanator
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The first thing that came to my mind. I shall be the manly vocals since we need balance :V |
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