[12:34:19 AM] Ilvocare: alright here we go
[12:34:47 AM] Ilvocare: Once upon a time my family decided to go to Golden Corral. Then the end of days occurred. The End.
[12:34:58 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...what. V:
[12:35:27 AM] Ilvocare: Moral of the story: stay as physically far away from Golden Corral as you feasibly can
[12:35:43 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Can you elaborate on the end of days?
[12:35:47 AM] Ilvocare: at the very least don't walk into the door
[12:35:53 AM] Ilvocare: ok
[12:36:04 AM] Ilvocare: don't say that I warned you
[12:36:13 AM] Ilvocare: because I didn't but I guess I am now
[12:36:27 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Consider it unmentioned one way or another.
[12:36:40 AM | Edited 12:36:46 AM] Ilvocare: wait why are we saying all this in the Scumchat?
[12:36:49 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes) shrugs.
[12:36:52 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): No one else is here anyway.
[12:37:03 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I'M HERE.
[12:37:09 AM] Ilvocare: cue someone else popping up to say they're here
[12:37:14 AM] Ilvocare: oh hey speak of the devil
[12:37:16 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Like I said, no one else is here.
[12:37:25 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: That hurts, Jessi ;-;
[12:37:38 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Hehe. You really should be used to it by now, though.
[12:37:42 AM] Ilvocare: hey señor Ducks
[12:37:42 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I am.
[12:37:43 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Sadly.
[12:37:50 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes) pats the duck.
[12:37:57 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Anyway, Golden Corral?
[12:38:01 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: At least Ilvo understands me
[12:38:11 AM] Ilvocare: you know what they say
[12:38:28 AM] Ilvocare: through understanding, one's hate only grows stronger through age
[12:38:47 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): I've actually never heard "them" say that, but sure?
[12:39:07 AM] Ilvocare: well they don't say it ANYMORE, they're dead now
[12:39:13 AM] Ilvocare: but I'm rambling
[12:39:29 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Right, of course.
[12:39:33 AM] Ilvocare: you want to understand (and by proxy hate) Golden Corral?
[12:39:41 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Sure.
[12:39:47 AM] Ilvocare: presume you walk through the door
[12:39:54 AM] Ilvocare: you see their menu
[12:40:24 AM] Ilvocare: they advertise an all-you-can-eat buffet as their only source of payment
[12:40:58 AM] Ilvocare: they insist their food is mainly Southern cooking, while also incorporating some BBQ and Cajun
[12:41:09 AM] Ilvocare: maybe even some curry, I don't remember
[12:41:21 AM] Ilvocare: seemingly all this for 10 dollars
[12:41:25 AM] Ilvocare: ON WEEKDAYS
[12:41:31 AM] Ilvocare: AND ONLY ON LUNCH
[12:41:44 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Wow. That is horrible false advertising.
[12:41:53 AM] Ilvocare: yes they only advertise their cheapest prices on their commercials
[12:42:06 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Oh, of course.
[12:42:18 AM] Ilvocare: in the weekend the price goes up to around 15 dollars at lunch
[12:42:25 AM] Ilvocare: but WE arrived during dinner
[12:42:30 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Za?
[12:42:33 AM | Edited 12:42:37 AM] Ilvocare: 20 dollars per person
[12:42:37 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Holy cow.
[12:42:39 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): No.
[12:42:40 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Out.
[12:42:46 AM] Ilvocare: we went in
[12:43:06 AM] Ilvocare: mom INSISTED it was the best food she had eaten while in Orlando
[12:43:11 AM] Ilvocare: we trusted her
[12:43:20 AM] Ilvocare: dear god, what fools we were back then
[12:43:31 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...the heck do you even pay 20 dollars for anyway?
[12:43:39 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): If I'm paying that much I'm getting a friggin STEAK.
[12:43:45 AM] Ilvocare: like I mentioned, it's a buffet
[12:43:56 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: TWO STEAKS.
[12:44:02 AM] Ilvocare: now despite quantity seemingly having taken care of itself
[12:44:18 AM] Ilvocare: quality was still unknown towards all but my mother
[12:44:29 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Who gave it good reviews.
[12:44:54 AM] Ilvocare: and younger brother too, but he was like 7 at the time so he wasn't the best source of taste
[12:44:59 AM] Ilvocare: anyways
[12:45:18 AM] Ilvocare: the idea is that there are seemingly no lines at the buffet
[12:45:31 AM] Ilvocare: people only line up to specific food items
[12:45:44 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): I don't think that I've been to a buffet without at least short lines, but carry on.
[12:46:11 AM] Ilvocare: so the first task was to find something to serve our food on
[12:46:59 AM] Ilvocare: there were multi-colored trays in a VERY inconspicuous cubby hole way off to -- let's say the left-- of the buffet setup
[12:47:17 AM] Ilvocare: immediately next to them are the tables people eat at
[12:47:50 AM] Ilvocare: keep in mind the restaurant gave no indication whatsoever as to how to proceed about getting our food
[12:47:56 AM] Ilvocare: we pick up the trays
[12:48:16 AM] Ilvocare: they are SOAKED and at least over 100 degrees in temperature
[12:48:25 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Eugh.
[12:49:05 AM] Ilvocare: it's presumed that trays are cleaned lightning-fast of food so that the minimum amount of trays are used to serve the maximum amount of people
[12:49:36 AM] Ilvocare: but instead of using something like a cooling rack, they just cart them over and dump them back into the cubby hole
[12:49:55 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): That sounds like it's asking for trouble.
[12:50:07 AM] Ilvocare: now we need to find plates to put on our trays
[12:50:08 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: This sounds like the worst dining experience.
[12:50:58 AM] Ilvocare: these plates are located in the MIDDLE of the buffet, past at least half of the food that the trays were located behind, again without any indication, or signs, or anything
[12:51:16 AM] Ilvocare: notice I haven't tried a single bite of food yet
[12:51:28 AM] Ilvocare: do you have any idea how mad I was?
[12:51:52 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): I'd be pretty mad at this point.
[12:52:18 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): It's like if I'm going to pay so much to even get to grab any food you'd better be a bit better in design with HOW I'M GETTING THIS FOOD.
[12:52:31 AM] Ilvocare: now I was actually on a roll with this story, but I've apparently been yanked away to wash dishes
[12:52:38 AM] Ilvocare: I'll try to be prompt, then I
[12:52:47 AM] Ilvocare: 'll come back and continue
[12:52:54 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Aight.
[12:53:19 AM] Ilvocare: god dammit it's 1 in the morning why NOW
[12:53:30 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...this is a good question.

END OF ACT ONE

[1:08:28 AM | Edited 1:08:31 AM] Ilvocare: and I have returned
[1:08:42 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Welcome back.
[1:09:01 AM] Ilvocare: visibly angrier at my older brother for roping me into washing the dishes that he cleaned with
[1:09:34 AM] Ilvocare: which means that I'm in just the right mood to continue the tale of "The Tragedy at Golden Corral"
[1:09:49 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Yay story continuing.
[1:09:55 AM | Edited 1:10:05 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Do we have time for questions for the author?
[1:10:04 AM] Ilvocare: after the story children
[1:10:31 AM] Ilvocare: so after obtaining plates, now we could get the food, right?
[1:10:49 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Unless they didn't put serving spoons out or something.
[1:10:54 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): In which case gotta find silverware first.
[1:11:02 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): But hopefully they have THAT much sense.
[1:13:14 AM] Ilvocare: so I looked around and spooled in a little bit of rice, some french fries, and some ribs
[1:13:27 AM | Edited 1:19:18 AM] Ilvocare: keep in mind the ribs are their most advertised dish
[1:13:34 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): All right.
[1:13:52 AM] Ilvocare: now that I think back, I don't remember what I ate with the rice
[1:14:18 AM] Ilvocare: I'm going to assume it was some salsbury steak that they were serving
[1:14:33 AM] Ilvocare: I also think I got some fried chicken
[1:14:46 AM] Ilvocare: the rice was BEYOND stale
[1:14:57 AM] Ilvocare: oh wait
[1:15:06 AM] Ilvocare: where is my sense of order
[1:15:08 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Is stale the word for rice?
[1:15:17 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Either way, sounds gross.
[1:15:40 AM] Ilvocare: after getting all this food, I realized that I needed some silverware to eat at the very least the rice and "steak"
[1:16:19 AM] Ilvocare: the silverware (or rather, plasticware) is located at the RIGHTMOST section of the buffet, located opposite of the whole setup
[1:16:35 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...I think they hate you.
[1:16:52 AM] Ilvocare: so yes NOW we get to the food
[1:16:59 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: [1:13 AM] Ilvocare:

<<< they'reuuuuuurgh
[1:17:08 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Shhhhh, I know.
[1:17:13 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Just let it go.
[1:18:14 AM] Ilvocare: the rice was stale, but I suppose stiff like a rock would be a more applicable term
[1:18:24 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Ew.
[1:19:48 AM] Ilvocare: like I'm pretty sure a newly toothing toddler cound destroy their teeth eating that
[1:20:08 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Yeah, rocks are cool and all, but not for eatings.
[1:20:22 AM] Ilvocare: the salsbury was basically school cafeteria quality
[1:20:38 AM] Ilvocare: the chicken was all grease and breading, and no meat
[1:20:52 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...do I want to know about the ribs?
[1:21:14 AM] Ilvocare: the fries were not AS stale as the rice, but they didn't taste like anything
[1:21:51 AM] Ilvocare: and this is after putting salt, pepper, and BARBEQUE SAUCE on them, so that discredits their sauce as well
[1:22:05 AM | Edited 1:22:10 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Just a bit, yeah.
[1:22:19 AM] Ilvocare: but now we get to the main attraction
[1:22:22 AM] Ilvocare: the ribs
[1:22:29 AM] Ilvocare: Ilvocare inhales deeply.
[1:22:46 AM] Ilvocare: do you understand what true fear is?

END OF ACT TWO

[1:23:08 AM] Ilvocare: the fear that the meat that you are eating is possibly neither meat
[1:23:16 AM] Ilvocare: nor even of this earth?
[1:23:25 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): That bad?
[1:24:02 AM] Ilvocare: I was so confounded
[1:24:18 AM] Ilvocare: how someone could go out of their way to cook something so poorly
[1:24:30 AM] Ilvocare: I needed to get the taste out of my system
[1:25:03 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): This can't end well.
[1:25:19 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: So he downed a bottle of rat poison.
[1:25:31 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): It sounds like that's what he's about to say, doesn't it?
[1:25:36 AM] Ilvocare: I noticed their buffet had a dessert section
[1:25:47 AM] Ilvocare: complete with a chocolate fountain
[1:25:53 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): !!!
[1:27:10 AM] Ilvocare: so
[1:27:24 AM] Ilvocare: I doused a rice crispy treat
[1:27:37 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Was there a dead thing in the chocolate fountain
[1:27:48 AM] Ilvocare: and a marshmellow
[1:28:03 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: A dead thing AND a marshmallow?
[1:28:03 AM] Ilvocare: and also took one of each, undoused
[1:28:17 AM] Ilvocare: then a brownie
[1:28:21 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Oh a rice crispy treat and a marshmallow
[1:28:25 AM] Ilvocare: and some M&Ms
[1:28:48 AM] Ilvocare: I ate the chocolate marshmellow
[1:28:53 AM] Ilvocare: wait
[1:28:59 AM] Ilvocare: is it mellow or mallow
[1:29:02 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: mallow
[1:29:11 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I only remember because it's stupid.
[1:29:31 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Okay the rest of your experience has now been disregarded because chocolate fountain so you're gonna have to ruin that right quick.
[1:29:31 AM] Ilvocare: regardless I ate it
[1:29:45 AM | Edited 1:29:48 AM] Ilvocare: the treat cracked
[1:29:58 AM] Ilvocare: but not just up to the chocolate shell
[1:30:13 AM] Ilvocare: the MARSHMALLOW cracked from one end to the other
[1:30:22 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Oh god.
[1:30:23 AM] Ilvocare: it's renowned fluffiness completely absent
[1:30:36 AM] Ilvocare: I ate the undoused one, same problem
[1:30:40 AM] the_insane_voices: fml
[1:30:42 AM] the_insane_voices: fffffffffffml
[1:30:43 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): ...what the heck do you do to a MARSHMALLOW to make it crack?
[1:30:50 AM] the_insane_voices: You leave it in the air
[1:30:53 AM] the_insane_voices: and it dries out
[1:30:54 AM] Ilvocare: tried the RC treat
[1:30:56 AM] the_insane_voices: and cracks.
[1:31:30 AM] Ilvocare: it honestly tasted like the treat there was held together with glue, not dairy
[1:31:44 AM | Edited 1:31:48 AM] Ilvocare: not to mention the chocolate itself tasted.. off
[1:31:50 AM] Ilvocare: just
[1:31:52 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): On 22/07/2013, at 01:30, Dakota wrote:
> fffffffffffml
Also what now?
[1:32:08 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): I can't believe they ruined a chocolate fountain. :c
[1:32:34 AM] Ilvocare: I didn't understand, so I grabbed a toothpick, dipped it, and then immediately sucked the chocolate off
[1:32:53 AM] Ilvocare: it turns out BOTH components were bad
[1:33:58 AM] the_insane_voices: I was supposed to work till 8:30
[1:34:02 AM] the_insane_voices: I got off at 11:55
[1:34:02 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: This is the most horrifying story I've ever heard.
[1:34:03 AM] Ilvocare: the chocolate itself watered down to a point where I wouldn't have been surprised if it had just been milk with brown food coloring, except they then decided to take out all the positive feelings that milk usually brings to non-lactose intolerant people
[1:34:11 AM] Ilvocare: SOMEHOW
[1:34:24 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): This is horrible.
[1:34:36 AM] Ilvocare: I decided to eat the M&M's as a single tear began to roll down my cheek
[1:34:40 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): On 22/07/2013, at 01:34, Dakota wrote:
> I got off at 11:55
I'm sorry.
[1:34:44 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: THEY WERE SKITTLES
[1:35:13 AM] Ilvocare: they were the only thing that tasted REMOTELY like chocolate
[1:35:38 AM] Ilvocare: I was so infuriated, I threw away the brownie without trying it
[1:35:51 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): If the rest of the food was an indication, probably for the best.
[1:36:02 AM] Ilvocare: and that's when I looked around at the other people
[1:36:35 AM] Ilvocare: the people who had also paid this amount of money to... DIGEST, not even consume, this-- this-- atrocity!!!
[1:37:05 AM] Ilvocare: they were distended, overweight shells of what could have been decent human beings
[1:37:22 AM] Ilvocare: warped beyond belief into something truly hopeless
[1:37:41 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): This is getting poetic.
[1:37:54 AM] Ilvocare: sort of like the people who used to eat at Cici's pizza, except you cried for them instead of laughing at them
[1:38:07 AM] the_insane_voices: I like Cici's

END OF ACT THREE

[1:38:08 AM] Ilvocare: I needed to get out
[1:38:18 AM] Ilvocare: we ALL needed to escape
[1:38:25 AM] Ilvocare: we thought it would ease the pain
[1:38:36 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I don't think this is nearly dramatic enough.
[1:39:00 AM] Ilvocare: I questioned my older brother about his meal
[1:39:26 AM] Ilvocare: he was a fitness buff, so he must have concentrated on the healthier sutff like vegetables and whatnot
[1:39:33 AM] Ilvocare: he tried those and the cajun
[1:39:37 AM] Ilvocare: he
[1:39:50 AM] Ilvocare: he had no words to describe the terror
[1:40:06 AM] Ilvocare: the terror he had voluntarily accepted into his own body
[1:40:35 AM] Ilvocare: that was now transforming into something orders more vile than what any sane man should have to see
[1:41:10 AM] the_insane_voices: ...this conversation is freaking me out
[1:41:13 AM] Ilvocare: he was ready to collapse onto the parking lot, willing for it all to end
[1:41:50 AM] Ilvocare: I had to keep his spirits up, waiting for the rest of our family to come with us
[1:42:03 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): I'm sorry, I'm actually pretty engaged in this, but I'm also passing out a bit so I'm going to sleep.
[1:42:05 AM] Jessi Summers (Destroyer of Jokes): Good night chat.
[1:42:06 AM] Ilvocare: we were rapidly losing hope though
[1:42:21 AM] Ilvocare: oh that's ok, you'll probably backlog this

[INSERT KODA CHOKING AND DUCKY BEING A CREEP HERE]

[1:44:46 AM] Ilvocare: anyways
[1:44:47 AM] the_insane_voices: it's ducky
[1:44:57 AM] Ilvocare: me and my brother were losing hope
[1:45:05 AM] the_insane_voices: if I was passed out he'd take it as a free pass from god to fondle.
[1:45:15 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: No I wouldn't I'm not that bad :v
[1:45:25 AM] the_insane_voices: Don't lie.
[1:45:29 AM] the_insane_voices: My boobs are magnificent
[1:45:35 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I would at least ask permission from you before you fell asleep.
[1:45:47 AM | Edited 1:45:52 AM] Ilvocare: we were becoming more and more convinced that the restaurant, in exchange for consuming it's food, had consumed half of our family in exchange
[1:45:48 AM] the_insane_voices: the_insane_voices looks proudly at boobs.
[1:46:37 AM] Ilvocare: despite the fact we had already paid 20 dollars for something I would not have paid a cent to eat
[1:46:43 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Koda if you fall asleep can I fondle your boobs
[1:46:47 AM] the_insane_voices: Yes
[1:46:52 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: NOW I will.
[1:46:56 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: I wouldn't have before.
[1:47:05 AM] Ilvocare: our tears mixed
[1:47:14 AM] Ilvocare: we cried for those we had surely lost
[1:47:24 AM] Ilvocare: we cried for the grave mistake we had made
[1:47:26 AM] Ilvocare: we CRIED
[1:47:33 AM] Ilvocare: for our digestive systems
[1:47:45 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: ;-;
[1:48:04 AM] Ilvocare: he was losing his last ounce of strength
[1:48:36 AM] Ilvocare: "Don't leave me!" I cried. "Not here, not in this parking lot, where all decency goes to die!"
[1:48:59 AM] Ilvocare: but then
[1:49:03 AM] Ilvocare: a creaking
[1:49:08 AM] Ilvocare: the doors opened
[1:49:28 AM] Ilvocare: my father, mother, and younger brother all walked outside
[1:49:32 AM] Ilvocare: hand in hand
[1:49:49 AM] Ilvocare: the first had a scowl on his face a mile wide
[1:50:00 AM] Ilvocare: the others, however
[1:50:08 AM] Ilvocare: they looked unnaturally happy
[1:50:40 AM] Ilvocare: one could even say they were SATISFIED with the effluvial fuel they had just consumed
[1:51:16 AM] Ilvocare: I have no proof, but I believe my mother and younger brother never made it out of the first Golden Corral they went into
[1:51:25 AM] Ilvocare: they were instead replaced
[1:51:31 AM] the_insane_voices: Oh are we talking about golden corral?
[1:51:34 AM] Ilvocare: yes
[1:51:35 AM] the_insane_voices: Ours is good.
[1:51:39 AM] the_insane_voices: We have good roles
[1:51:40 AM] Ilvocare: that's what this story is
[1:51:41 AM] the_insane_voices: rolls
[1:51:50 AM] the_insane_voices: I wasn't really listening
[1:51:52 AM] the_insane_voices: xD
[1:52:00 AM] Ilvocare: you don't listen to text though
[1:52:00 AM] the_insane_voices: I was reading but not comprehending
[1:52:07 AM] the_insane_voices: and too lazy to scroll
[1:52:10 AM] the_insane_voices: i actually do
[1:52:17 AM] the_insane_voices: I have made up voices for all of you
[1:52:23 AM] the_insane_voices: and your text is voices in my head
[1:53:00 AM] the_insane_voices: So you were wa wa wa-ing in charlie brown manner.
[1:53:05 AM] Ilvocare: I'll refrain from asking what I could possibly sound like (it's probably not a pleasant voice, considering how out-of-my-way I went to insult you)
[1:53:14 AM] Ilvocare: and finish this goddamn story
[1:53:28 AM] Ilvocare: and also post it on the Skype thread for posterity
[1:53:43 AM] the_insane_voices: Yours sounds like an Ilvo voice.
[1:54:03 AM] Ilvocare: this clarifies nothing, but whatever
[1:54:06 AM] Ilvocare: so
[1:54:15 AM] Ilvocare: we finally made it back to the car
[1:54:18 AM] Ilvocare: we left
[1:54:28 AM] Ilvocare: my dad was furious at my mother
[1:54:43 AM] Ilvocare: and incredulous as to how she could have enjoyed what she did
[1:55:08 AM] Ilvocare: thankfully, my younger brother, despite having been smiling when leaving the establishment
[1:55:20 AM] Ilvocare: agreed with my father
[1:55:40 AM] Ilvocare: my mother was STILL defending the quality of the restaurant
[1:55:48 AM] Ilvocare: but we knew better
[1:56:00 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Does this end in a lynching
[1:56:09 AM] the_insane_voices: I like their rolls
[1:56:14 AM] Ilvocare: no matter how good the food was for her, it could not have justified the $20 price point
[1:56:15 AM] the_insane_voices: and their butter
[1:56:27 AM] the_insane_voices: other than that they're meh.
[1:56:52 AM] the_insane_voices: I eat my weight in bread when I'm there.
[1:57:09 AM] Ilvocare: that seems like a waste of 10 to 20 dollars
[1:57:29 AM] the_insane_voices: Mine doesn't cost that much
[1:57:33 AM] Ilvocare: you could just buy way better bread and butter at a grocery store for about half the price
[1:57:33 AM] the_insane_voices: mine's like 5 ish?
[1:57:43 AM] the_insane_voices: Maybe yours just sucks
[1:57:52 AM] the_insane_voices: mine isn't bad, and the bread rocks.
[1:58:15 AM] Ilvocare: well anyways, we made a solumn vow never to go back there again
[1:58:19 AM] Ilvocare: even mom
[1:58:27 AM] Ilvocare: despite her protests
[1:58:37 AM] the_insane_voices: I like our chinese buffet
[1:58:47 AM] Ilvocare: she must have become delirious, driven out of her mind by the horrors she witnessed
[1:59:11 AM] Ilvocare: and attempted to construct a more favorable reality to cope with the pain
[2:00:09 AM] Ilvocare: thankfully, this vow has not been forgotten
[2:00:26 AM] Ilvocare: to avoid future pain, we must remind ourselves of that of the past
[2:00:58 AM] Ilvocare: and remember to always, ALWAYS deny any further invitations to Golden Corral
[2:01:01 AM] Ilvocare: The End
[2:01:10 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert raises hand
[2:01:20 AM] Ilvocare: yes, the one with the wing in the air
[2:01:32 AM] Ryan "MEGAMANINSMASHBROS" Dobbert: When is it going to be published?
[2:01:38 AM] Ilvocare: it's not
[2:01:58 AM] Ilvocare: the nature of this horror defies the conventional written word

FIN