- Posts:
- 2,956
- Group:
- Shellcore Commanders
- Member
- #8
- Joined:
- Apr 29, 2011
- Title
- Indomitable Shover
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The spoiler below contains a script for an amateur dramatics production.
Spoiler: click to toggle
FACADE STAGEPLAY Tue Aug 07 07 54 09 2012
GRACE Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
(Kha knocks on the front door.)
TRIP What, Grace... this? -- (interrupted)
TRIP Uhp, he's here!
GRACE What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
TRIP No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE God... Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP Kha!!
KHA blow me.
TRIP Hi! It's so great -- (interrupted)
GRACE No, no, here we are!
GRACE Kha,
GRACE Hi! How are you? God it's been -- (interrupted)
(KHA kisses grace.)
GRACE Oh, yes, let's... (polite kiss on cheek) Kha, you're -- (interrupted)
(KHA kisses trip.)
TRIP Oh, uh, ha ha! You're kissing me! You're so funny!
GRACE Oh... ha ha ha...
(KHA picks up a martini glass 3.)
TRIP Oh, yeah, I'm gonna fix us some drinks in a sec!
(KHA puts down a martini glass 3.)
TRIP Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking glasses.
(KHA knocks on the front door.)
(KHA closes the front door.)
GRACE So, come in, make yourself at home...
TRIP Huh, I'll close the door.
TRIP So! Drinks!
TRIP We should have something fun,
TRIP like a cosmopolitan?
TRIP The guy I play squash with introduced me to this drink, it's really amazing.
GRACE Now Trip don't get too worked up with the drinks tonight...
KHA sangria
TRIP Oh, oh, yeah, that sounds even better! Great!
GRACE No no,
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Kha, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?
TRIP uhh...
KHA wine
TRIP Oh yeah, that's even better!
TRIP Excellent! It won't take me more than a minute!
GRACE (little sigh) You know Trip, he never gets tired of making fancy drinks for whoever will indulge him.
TRIP (quiet humming)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP I think tonight Grace is ready to venture beyond her usual glass of Chardonnay and join us in a real drink.
GRACE (little sigh) Um... that sounds... nice. I'll have that too.
TRIP Oh! Okay. Good.
TRIP Heh heh, Kha, -- (interrupted)
PHONE ** RING **
TRIP Oh, I'll get it --
GRACE No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.
PHONE ** RING **
TRIP Grace, no, I want --
GRACE Trip, please dear, don't be rude.
GRACE It's probably just the execs at work inviting you to another one of your precious 'high class poker games'.
PHONE ** RING **
PHONE ** RING **
TRIP (frustrated sigh)
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE ** click **
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE ** beep **
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
TRIP Oh, it's your parents! I'll get it --
GRACE Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
TRIP I want to say hello --
GRACE No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
GRACE the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
TRIP You know what I'm just going to put this on the bar for you.
ANSWERING MACHINE Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.
(KHA sips his Grace's drink.)
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
GRACE So, Kha, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.
(KHA picks up a player's drink.)
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
ANSWERING MACHINE (clear throat) So, that's all. Uh, goodbye.
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
KHA You failed.
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
TRIP Well wait a minute! I don't think you've taken a close look yet. Let it soak in a little!
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his player's drink.)
GRACE So, about my decorating...
(KHA puts down a player's drink.)
GRACE (little sigh) You know, I've been collecting these little glass sculptures for a long time now.
(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)
TRIP Everybody always -- (interrupted)
TRIP Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...
GRACE Ha ha, I guess it's just the artist in me dying to get out.
KHA It's sketchuped.
GRACE Oh, well...
GRACE Mmm...
GRACE (little sigh) So I've been collecting these sculptures...
GRACE but now when I look at them, they give me a such a... such a headache.
TRIP uhh...
KHA maylin
TRIP See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there's nothing wrong with it!
GRACE Trip, I can't explain it, but this room is just not working, okay? I'm going to return what furniture I can, and redo it all.
TRIP Oh Grace... -- (interrupted)
KHA you should phoeque yourself
TRIP Kha, uhh, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!
KHA WHY DO YOU HAVE A FESTIVE
TRIP W -- wait, wait, wait, what's wrong, Grace?
(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)
GRACE Oh I didn't want my decorating to become a major topic of conversation tonight... I'm going to get it redone this week, so...
TRIP Anyway...
TRIP Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...
GRACE Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --
TRIP Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing. We're, we're not.
TRIP (frustrated sigh) Sheejus. -- (interrupted)
(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)
(KHA kisses trip.)
TRIP (nervous coughing)
GRACE (nervous coughing)
(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)
TRIP what...
TRIP you, uh...
GRACE wha -- huh...
TRIP ha ha...
KHA HAAHHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAH
GRACE ha ha ha ha ha, heh...
TRIP ha ha ha!
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE ha ha ha ha ha!!
TRIP Ha ha ha, Kha,
KHA laugh out loud
GRACE heh heh heh...
TRIP you're out of control, man...!
TRIP put us on the spot...
TRIP heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?
TRIP heh, ha ha...
KHA Ya.
TRIP (big sigh)
TRIP Anyway, uh... what -- what were we talking about?
TRIP Kha, I -- I want you to look at this photo from our recent trip to Italy...
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE (impatient sigh) Trip, maybe our friend would prefer --
TRIP Grace, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean our friend won't...
GRACE Kha, come over here and sit on the couch with me.
KHA italy is puny.
TRIP What?!
GRACE Trip, Trip, it's alright, our friend is just giving you a bit of -- (interrupted)
GRACE Trip, you see, your fetish for all things European is making our friend very uncomfortable!
TRIP Goddammit, Grace, this was supposed to be our second honeymoon!
GRACE What? Kha, Trip is absolutely exaggerating, it was simply a weekend getaway, that's all.
TRIP Jesus, I was trying to find a way for us to spend some time together!
GRACE All those business trips of yours to Europe must have done something to you.
TRIP Uhh, you're driving me insane!
GRACE Ahh, no, I'm the one going insane!
KHA Kill trip.
GRACE Goddamn second honeymoon...
GRACE Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling! -- (interrupted)
KHA you should kill each other.
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Look, you're going to really make it bad if you keep criticizing me!
TRIP (little impatient sigh) Kha, I...
TRIP (frustrated sigh)
GRACE Oh, -- (interrupted)
KHA CAW CAW.
GRACE What? What are you saying to me?
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE You... kissing... and...
GRACE You're always sending these subtle flirt signals! You're always trying to get people turned on!
TRIP Oh, Christ...!
GRACE Alright, you know what, Kha,
(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)
GRACE I need to ask you something.
TRIP Grace --
GRACE Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE Kha, yes or no...
GRACE Do you think it's _wrong_ for one person in a marriage to listen _too much_ to the other?
(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)
TRIP What?
GRACE To trust your husband or wife too much, to rely on them too much? Is that wrong?
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Yes or no. -- (interrupted)
KHA yes
TRIP What...?!
TRIP Oh, alright... yeah...
TRIP Uhh, I keep trying to help you Grace, but you reject me, you cut me off, you cut me out of your life, goddammit!
GRACE Oh, I can't believe...!
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE Uhh! Yeah, good, get away from me!
(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)
GRACE I don't want to look at you!
GRACE Goddammit!
(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)
GRACE uhh!
KHA kill trip.
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Kha, I can't believe you have to see this...
KHA break up
GRACE Wait, what, are you trying to explain this to me?
KHA and stop havign an affair
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP Grace, what the hell are you saying about me in there? -- (interrupted)
GRACE What do you care?
TRIP Kha, (annoyed sigh) Grace is sometimes so...
GRACE Oh, we're talking about me, are we?
TRIP What?
TRIP Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is... you're not an artist.
GRACE Uhh...!
TRIP I'm sorry, you're not.
KHA art is puny.
GRACE Kha, -- (interrupted)
GRACE Uhh, this painting, well... mmm... see, all I really wanted was something personal and, uh... beautiful and special...
(KHA sits on the couch.)
TRIP Grace...
GRACE But I just... mmm... no, I -- I just get so depressed and angry when I look at it! -- (interrupted)
KHA yes it's personal it fits you.
TRIP Ah!
GRACE Kha, you're saying I'm... angry?
GRACE Trip, what makes me so angry is your attitude!
TRIP What?
GRACE Kha, his attitude towards art, and artists, and everything that I care about!
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
KHA art is pun.
TRIP Jesus, Kha, you keep obsessing about Grace's stuff, you know that? (frustrated sigh)
(KHA picks up a player's drink.)
(KHA puts down a player's drink.)
(KHA picks up a Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
TRIP No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
TRIP You know what makes me so angry?
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
GRACE What?
TRIP How you've so conveniently forgotten how much you used to actually hate painting!
(KHA sips his Trip's drink.)
(KHA puts down a Trip's drink.)
GRACE Kha, I -- I -- uhh...!
(KHA picks up a Grace's drink.)
(KHA puts down a Grace's drink.)
(KHA picks up a player's drink.)
(KHA puts down a player's drink.)
GRACE All this stuff... mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy. We're so happy, aren't we Trip?
(KHA picks up a trinket 1.)
TRIP Jesus, what do you want! Now you're unhappy because we're too well off?
TRIP Kha, isn't it -- isn't that ridiculous?
(KHA puts down a trinket 1.)
KHA i want your money.
TRIP Well, I mean, Grace, what do you want?
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Nothing! I want nothing!
TRIP How can you say... uhh...
TRIP Let's talk some more about Grace.
TRIP Kha, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied.
KHA except a TV.
TRIP Well, heh, I -- I mean, we -- heh -- we -- we've got everything... -- (interrupted)
KHA or a computer.
GRACE Trip, you just don't... uhh.
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.
GRACE I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.
TRIP Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots.
GRACE No, it's true...
(KHA sits on the couch.)
KHA trip has retarded parents
TRIP See Grace, that's ridiculous. The only thing I'm afraid of is their bad taste might rub off on us... ha ha!
GRACE (frustrated sigh)
TRIP Oh God, I cannot believe this...
TRIP Let's keep the focus on us, not just one person.
TRIP It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE Trip...
TRIP Like I always have to convince you?
GRACE Kha, you know, we... uhh...
TRIP Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just --
GRACE Kha, I can't stand the pretending anymore... I can't take it!
TRIP No, Grace, we can... I mean, come on, don't make it out to be so bad...
GRACE Uhh...
KHA would you prefer phoque
TRIP Look, I think we should focus on Grace.
TRIP Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle.
GRACE What? Trip, you know what I --
TRIP Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any -- (interrupted)
KHA move to ethopia
GRACE Kha, oh my god, you can't believe... Ugh!
GRACE Uhh...
GRACE What is his problem? Tell me please, what is his problem?
GRACE Uhh...
KHA his tiny cock
GRACE No, don't, just leave me alone for a second... uhh...
TRIP Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.
GRACE Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...
TRIP You think I'm not good enough...!
GRACE I never said that! I'm saying there's more to you than all this...
KHA sports bar
TRIP Kha, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?
TRIP Let's talk some more about us both.
KHA yes.
GRACE Kha, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?
KHA no.
TRIP See, I don't think you really want to be an artist. -- (interrupted)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP No?
GRACE Oh, thank God you disagree, that really helps us! Uhh! Trip, how dare you say that to me! Uhh...
GRACE You know... uhh...
KHA I broke you.
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE Look, I think we should focus on Trip.
TRIP See, what I've tried to do, Kha, is help Grace somehow get over her art problem. -- (interrupted)
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
KHA mixin
TRIP No, Grace, see, the only problem I have with art is how you've wasted so much time obsessing about it...!
(KHA sits on the couch.)
KHA mixin
KHA mixin
TRIP Heh, ha ha!
GRACE Uhh...
KHA mixin
GRACE Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship.
KHA minxix
TRIP You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me...
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP Kha, She's all -- (interrupted)
KHA mixin
GRACE Uhh...
KHA mixin
GRACE Okay, that's it, goddammit, I can't do this anymore!
GRACE Kha, I know what you're hinting at...
KHA mixin
GRACE about us...
KHA mixin
GRACE about art...
GRACE No, Kha, please, please, let me finish!
KHA mixin
GRACE Do you really want the honest truth? Huh?
KHA ,ococ
GRACE No, Kha, just, yes or no, do you want the truth?
KHA YES
GRACE Trip, huh?
TRIP Yes...!
GRACE Kha, I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying tonight.
GRACE You've been pushing me tonight.
KHA mixin
GRACE And I wonder, are -- are you really my friend...?
KHA mixin
TRIP Grace!
GRACE Kha, Stop interrupting me, let me finish!
GRACE Kha, I've got to ask you -- yes or no...
(KHA sits on the couch.)
KHA no
GRACE Do you really think that...
GRACE criticizing Trip...
GRACE acting inappropriately to Trip...
GRACE kissing Trip...
GRACE telling me I'm angry...
GRACE but especially what you said about listening too much to your spouse...
GRACE that all that is supposed to help us realize something about us?
KHA yes
GRACE Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?
KHA yes
GRACE Right.
GRACE Trip, I --
GRACE I let you stop me from being an artist.
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
TRIP You let me --
GRACE I was afraid, Trip okay?
(KHA sits on the couch.)
GRACE I -- I admit it.
KHA mixin
GRACE I didn't know if -- if I could do it, be a real artist...
KHA mixin
KHA mixin
GRACE And I've been using you as an excuse for why I didn't do it.
KHA mixin
GRACE uhh...
TRIP uhh...
TRIP Jesus...!
GRACE Kha, I --
TRIP Kha, I --
GRACE What?!
TRIP What?!
GRACE This changes everything...
TRIP Yes, it does change everything.
TRIP I think it's over.
KHA Good riddance, Trip Melons!
(KHA gets up from the couch.)
GRACE Trip, what --
TRIP No!!
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP It's over, Grace, can't you see that?
GRACE Wha... I just told you --
KHA I'm melons your wife.
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP You just told me something about us you should have said a long time ago:
(KHA kisses grace.)
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP You've been using me as an excuse to not be an artist...
KHA Melons.
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP And no, Kha, enough of that already...
KHA Melons.
(KHA kisses grace.)
GRACE Trip, no, I... you...
KHA Melons.
TRIP No, Grace, this isn't about you, or me, it's about us...
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP Our marriage. I see that now.
GRACE Us...? Our marriage...? What? No, wait!
TRIP And no, Kha, enough!
KHA I'm fucking your fine wife.
(KHA kisses grace.)
TRIP Kha, I'm sorry. You really helped us though, so, thanks.
GRACE Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
GRACE Trip!!
(Trip closes the front door.)
GRACE Oh my God...
(KHA kisses grace.)
GRACE I should have told him that...
KHA I'm going to fuck you.
(KHA kisses grace.)
GRACE I -- I could have told him that...
(KHA kisses grace.)
(KHA kisses grace.)
(KHA kisses grace.)
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