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Nedben's Roleplay/Writer's Cafe; A roleplay thread and writer's mall, except it used to have guests. And it's in the intro forum.
Topic Started: Mar 9 2012, 03:46 AM (14,133 Views)
nedben
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Eternal Commander
Quote:
 
Error 404; Reality not found.<br /><br /><br />OH FUCK, your banhammer's paradoxical existence caused reality to fuck up horribly with keeping track of things again and delete all ban energy from the continuity!!! WHY?!<br /><br />
Do not abandon the thread, but we must abort this futile danger!
<br /><br /><br />DWD, that was a fail, because ban energy was removed because the industry godmodded the fuck out of it. The rest of this post is now a link. The monster dies of reality fucking up horribly and removing ban energy. You are jettisoned from the setting, but you are returned... Inside Deceleration's ship! Tanya can handle the Core Star for now, but you might want to get back from Decel's converted former-brony minions. I will not hesitate to deploy brony fanfiction for adult purposes via these linkposts if you keep trying to bring back ban energy into the setting.<br /><br /><br />Seriously, stop deleting posts or it'll summon angry unkillable monsters from a neighboring universe because of the plot degauss problem. Also, Decel's brony minions will be happy to execute you or convert you.
<br /><br />OLD POST, REWRITE IMMINENT.


Reality explodes so hard that horrible brony porn NSFW fanfiction makes Decel unstoppable. DWD summons his banhammer forth from hammerspace, although the damaged restrictions cause it damage before the restrictions are destroyed. The ban hammer is almost dead, sparking lightly with purple from the ban energy leaking out. The ban fields from which it would draw strength are gone, wiped from reality by elder forces.

Spirit smashes a communicator sphere into dust with a swipe of an energy hand. She draws another one and says "Looks like our efforts were nil. Well, we should have stayed behind the plot lines and avoided DWD's plot degaussing, but it's too late now."

The Song Of The Worlds pours from nowhere as a huge spout of ban energy raises the hammer into the air. You are teleported out of Decel's ship into the Overworld Staff Plane, with useless and damaged hammer in hand. A shimmering glass pane made of ethereal worldsong energy pops in. A slightly irritated Doctress wearing pajamas grumbles loudly as she addresses you. "Dammit, look what you've done. Grayson dragged me out of bed for this, and when I saw what you did I swear you may be the first character permanently killed off at this rate. I got this through via a stupid pun, and I'm here to tell you that YOU. WILL. DIE. if that banhammer goes offline, because there are going to be so many eldritch abominations pouring in that we will be swimming in monsters if you let that go, because that last plot degauss really messed up everything. Gah, I'm going back to bed. Go find some artifacts to fix that, there should be some advice delivered via the laptop in the staff plane library if you enter through that door next to you. Goodnight, and stop making reality fuck up horribly with keeping track of things already."
 
Brayzure
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The Analytic Commander

Attempt to restore ban powers. If it fails, file a claim with someone who can restore it to do so. Spawn a black hole inside the monstrosity.
 
nedben
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Eternal Commander
*poof* Tanya says she can handle it and Synergy is thrown into the staff plane by an infurated Doctress still in pajamas who is storming interdimensionally back to bed and running a quick plot errand before falling asleep.
 
DarkWingedDaemon
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Coreling Cruiser

*Heads to the library while feeding my Ban Hammer energy to keep it alive.*
 
Brayzure
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The Analytic Commander

Ban energy restored! Pull out my banhammer and slam the monstrosity!
 
nedben
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Eternal Commander
Synergy hits himself in the face with his banhammer, but it does nothing to him because the banhammer is pretty much broke and he's the owner.

DWD heads into the library and picks up the laptop. How to Fix Your Damaged Banhammer; Artifact 1; Celestia Crown. Owned by the great Celestias, alicorn leaders of elder loving friendship bronies and bronyfish, which are so well-hidden no-one could find them, and the Ancient Fleets of Deceleration and Nomefu. Nomefu has jealously guarded his for ages, but he is not unstoppable.

Conquest time?


Elas is now conducting two orchestras to play Toccatina and Concert Piece For Strings. Hm.
Edited by nedben, May 9 2012, 11:48 PM.
 
Brayzure
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The Analytic Commander

Fix my banhammer with divine power.
 
DarkWingedDaemon
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Coreling Cruiser

Me: *Returns the laptop and, teleports to the bridge of my citadel on the front lines.*
Captain: *Notices me.* "My lord!" *Jumps up and salutes.*
Me: *Nods* "Report."
Captain: "Yes, my lord." *Presses a few buttons and, a hologram displaying my fleets appears in front of us.* "(Insert report here)"
 
nedben
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Eternal Commander
The universe explodes and then fixes. You are mailed a slap to the face by Alendaeor, Chief Of League Police. Apparently, all government people in the League can extradimensionally mail things.

You can't just fix it with divine power, or else I'll tell Decel how he can win the roleplay and you both lose with a humiliating death scene where everyone laughs. Yes, I'm blackmailing you with direct universal fucking up with keeping track of things. Deal with it.

Anyways, who wants to go do battle with Ancients? I'll come up with plot logic to stop Decel from intervening, but you'll have to do this yourselves. Solve the thinking puzzle.

DWD summons his fleet of shellcores!
Edited by nedben, May 10 2012, 12:07 AM.
 
DarkWingedDaemon
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Coreling Cruiser

Me: "Captain"
Captain: "Yes my lord?"
Me: "Order Admiral Cam'ilo of the first fleet to dock with the citadel prepare the IMA."
Captain: "As you command."
 
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