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Corrupt my Wish; In which we grant each others' wishes... or do we?
Topic Started: Nov 12 2013, 10:14 PM (1,372 Views)
TeoUltika
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Half-Sane Shell part creator
A shellcore conjures into being, and proceeds to shoot at you, and any living thing in the area. You're dead.
 
Ion496
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Since Teo didn't include a wish...


I wish that there was a way to make "Because I'm a terrorist!" funnier.
 
Reynard
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Universal Standard for Badass
Although i didn't find it funny...

Granted. Its so funny you laugh so hard your lungs and other organs rapture, and your ribcage cracks and splits. You die a slow and painful death.

I wish for a completely safe plate of lobster.
 
Deceleration
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Coreling Conquerer

Granted. You get a plate of lobster that is absolutely safe. It has been decomposed into its component elements because a solid piece of lobster would carry a risk of choking, and a liquefied plate of lobster would also carry a risk of drowning in the instance that it happened to enter your lungs. Therefore, you get a plate which has a whiff of oxygen, hydrogen, and some graphite on it. Unfortunately the oxygen and hydrogen diffuse into the atmosphere, so all you are left with is graphite which provides no nutritional value to you when you eat it, and passes out of your body the same form it went in.

I wish the public library had faster internet.
 
TeoUltika
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Half-Sane Shell part creator
You go to the public library to find that all of the computers appear to be new, and the internet is also quite fast. Unfortunately, the computers were a test by google to see if anyone likes their new product. The computers watch... and the second they see something questionable, a drone flies in and bombs the library.

I wish for more cats. (Ruin this one horribly for me, k?)
Edited by TeoUltika, Nov 14 2013, 11:01 PM.
 
Reynard
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Universal Standard for Badass
You get cats, they ninja your house, everything you own. Puke, piss, shit, I'm an idiot.t, diarrhea everywhere. They kill your visitors by clawing. They kill your family. They kill you. The ruin your house, your kids die, you die, everyone else dies. The end.

I wish i had a edible, properly cooked, tasty, completely safe, plate of lobster. (Non-decceleration style if possible)
 
TeoUltika
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Half-Sane Shell part creator
You get an edible properly cooked tasty completely safe plate of lobster, but the second you touch the plate, you realize the plate is razor sharp and cuts your hands, you bleed out.
Remember the plate next time.


I wish that ... the large hadron collider was a good idea ...
DID YOU GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING? THE BROOM CLOSTET ENDING WAS MY FAVORITE xD
 
Reynard
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Universal Standard for Badass
Stanley parable. I have to argue this though, two things. I, if not most people, eat the lobster with a knife and fork. I, if not most people eat the item on the dish, and don't pick the dish up, even if we touch it we touch the top. I have been cut before, quite deep. But have never bled out. (nearly lost a finger).

Granted. The large hadron colider is a good idea. The result of the collision isn't, however, and the universe ends (Even though its scientifically impossible).

I wish that all the good shows and games, like mass effect, avatar, and the like have millions more epic seasons.
 
Ion496
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Granted. Unfortunately, the new seasons, while epic in the poetry sense, are simply abysmal in terms of quality and are so shit they make you wish to commit suicide via inhaling a whole fruit truck.

I wish that the boom closet ending was A Thing.
 
Reynard
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Universal Standard for Badass
I meant epic as in every sense. *facewhap*

The broom closet ending is a thing. You are so happy you orgasm till you run out of juice and start orgasming air. Then blood, then whatever is left of your body, this you die slowly, painfully, and miserably. Alone and forgotten, until you make the headlines.

-No further wishes.
 
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