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| Double standard? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:51 pm (141 Views) | |
| Smallvillian | Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:51 pm Post #1 |
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Jonathan's Lady
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You know, I've been meaning to bring this up for a while. I see a lot of women on the net that seem to think Jonathan is a controlling husband and that Martha is just a mousey housewife that does her husband's bidding. To that I say: Oh please. If a woman were to be firm in her opinions as Jonathan is then she would be praised to high heaven. But because it's Jonathan, it's inappropriate. I'm sorry but it's just as okay for a guy to feel strongly about his opinions as it is a woman without being called controlling or domineering. Jonathan has *never* forced his way or been disrespectful to Martha EVER. The one time we even know of that he really insisted on something was when Martha wanted to see Dr. Brice during her pregnancy and he didn't want that. Sorry again but Jonathan was right, and she was wrong in what she did. I'm a woman and I know a lot of women feel that what they do is their business because it's their body but I think that's totally unfair to men. It was *Jonathan's* baby, too, not to mention she could have been putting Clark in more danger. He was right. Any doctor could have examined her and told her how the baby was doing. It didn't have to be Brice. What difference would it have made had she been able to tell Helen anything? How was what Helen could do any different than what Jonathan could do?-- Give support. There's nothing Helen could have done to change anything about the pregnancy. That pregnancy was Martha's and Jonathan's business above all else in the first place. And Martha mousey? She's the only one who ever gets Jonathan to change his mind, that I've seen. She's pretty much the one person who could sway him on anything most of the time and the only one who will tell him when he is making a mistake. As far as how she does it, that would really be "her business", wouldn't it? She knows her husband. She respects him and she knows how to approach him about things. So she's not Rosanne-- loud and obnoxious, telling her husband he's an idiot. And he's not Dan Conner, cowering in the corner saying "yes dear." Thank God. |
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| Renee | Wed Aug 11, 2004 6:58 am Post #2 |
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Don't mess with JS
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I couldn't agree more. They're two strong people who've built a good marriage because they're each comfortable enough in their own skin to LET each other be strong, and to give as well as take. (And it doesn't hurt that he worships the ground she walks on! :) ) There's nothing wrong with a man being strong -- in fact, I wish more of them were. I've seen more than my share of spineless men on TV AND in real life! But that's another story. . . . :rolleyes: As Martha said, Jonathan's strength can get them through anything -- look how much it's already gotten them through. Husbands and fathers need to be strong, just as wives and mothers do. |
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| roman1967 | Wed Aug 11, 2004 8:43 pm Post #3 |
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Can't Stay Away
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Then you have us strong, Christian men who have a lot to offer but are left by their wives for some dude that is met on the internet spewing false promises to "make things better." :censored: But that, too, is another story. Seriously, I think Jonathan and Martha are the epitome of what it is to be married, and in a Christian manner. They each make their mistakes but weather through them. Martha "obeys her husband," without being subservient to him. Jonathan "...loves his wife as Christ loved the church....to lay down his life for her." I mean, you would be hard pressed to find a time when Jonathan didn't offer or risk his life to save that of Martha, or Clark for that matter. It shouldn't matter that either of them are "strong willed" as long as there is no disrespect to one another during this. And the basic tenet should be kept. Jonathan is the "man of the house". Women these days make that sound like such a bad thing. :( More kudos to the writers for this and for John and Annette's portrayal. Parents around the world should stand up and take notice. |
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| Renee | Wed Aug 11, 2004 8:53 pm Post #4 |
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Don't mess with JS
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Oh, roman, I'm so sorry to hear that. :( |
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| Smallvillian | Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:40 am Post #5 |
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Jonathan's Lady
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Me too
:( I totally agree that the Kent marriage is something to be strived for. Jonathan takes a lot of pride in being able to take care of his family, being the protector and a good provider. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I think men need to feel just as needed and accomplished as their wives want to feel. It's too bad most shows lift up the wife by degrading the husband. It makes it seem like you can't have both be strong abd intelligent--which Martha and Jonathan are. Thank goodness. Martha had no problem telling Jonathan in Whisper that he was not being realistic and he was going to hurt himself. She was strong and not the least bit shy about her opinion. What makes what she did different from a lot of America? She didn't call her husband stupid or careless or make any remark that attcked him personally. She said very clearly what she thought was wrong but in a way that put her concern for him and for Clark first. And I didn't hear Jonathan arguing back. Why? Because his wife isn't *always* pointing out his mistakes so when she *does* he knows to listen. |
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| Renee | Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:02 pm Post #6 |
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Don't mess with JS
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While we're on the subject of double standards, do you know what REALLY gets my goat? Those posters over at K-site (I think they're only at K-site; I don't think I've seen them anywhere else) who have this weird Lionel fixation. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a villain, but they take it to a level that's almost frightening. First of all, they think it would be just SO adorable if Martha had a crush on Lionel. And second, a lot of these exact same people rake Jonathan over the coals if he so much as looks cross-eyed at Lex. Hello? Have they SEEN how Lionel treats women, AND how he treats Lex?? That last part especially is the height of hypocrisy. Jonathan's a "caveman" for speaking harshly to Lex a few times; Lionel is drool-worthy even after he nearly kills Lex to save his own sorry hide (not to mention nearly killing Clark). Plus, Martha's supposed to be spellbound by him, even after he blackmailed her husband, used her, and tortured her son. She's supposed to forget all that and think only of his supposed attractiveness (which doesn't even begin to compare to Jonathan's, anyway). And then they get mad at Lana for being a wimpy female without a brain who thinks only about having a guy, when that's exactly how they would like Martha to be!! Smallvillian, you took psychology courses, didn't you? Isn't there some psychological condition that attracts people to men who only want to hurt them? Because seriously, I think they've got a bad case of it. It's downright scary. I know, life's too short to worry about a few sickos. But honestly, the whole thing just makes me want to :barf: |
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| Smallvillian | Fri Aug 13, 2004 12:28 pm Post #7 |
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Jonathan's Lady
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Oh, yes. I most definitely agree! I think it's a case of expecting Jonathan to earn sainthood while already knowing that Lionel is evil so anything he does isn't held to the same sainthood standard. But that's beyond unfair. Jonathan is human. He makes mistakes. He's never knowingly put someone in danger. Lionel would throw his own kid under a bus, if he had to. Wasn't it you who said that if it had been Lionel and Lex at the end of Covenant that Lionel would have shoved Lex into the light? lol I mean, look at his attitude when Lex was held hostage *twice*! Neither time did Lionel really give a damn. Poor Jonathan deserves a prize for all that he has done for Clark, yet all he gets is nothing but more grief (in the series and from Lionel/ Lex fans). The whole situation with Lionel worship is beyond ridiculous. I don't know what a specific condition would be called but a person is usually attracted to what they know so if their father was controlling and/or abusive, then that's what they are attracted to because it's the only behavior they can predict and understand. |
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