Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Squees Lair. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Alpha's Stenographic Corner of Fun!; aka I am bored
Topic Started: Dec 19 2012, 04:52 AM (483 Views)
AlphaDormante
Member Avatar
bringin' it around town
Warning! The first section of this post is educational. Skip to the second half for the fun part :P

So I've been going to college to become a court reporter for just over a year now. For those of you who don't know, here in America there is a profession for people to sit inside a courtroom with a little typewriter-like machine and record everything that's being said (if they do this in other countries as well I have no idea).

We have to type at the speed of people talking...which on average fluctuates anywhere from 140 to 200 words per minute. Consider that the average person types 40 WPM on the computer and know that yes, we are insane. Needless to say, we have to take a lot of shortcuts. Instead of typing words one letter at a time, we type the whole word at once. For example, on a computer it would take you three strokes to spell out "d-o-g". We just hit all three letters at the same time and get the word.

But in order to use these shortcuts, we have to do some really weird things with our letters, like combining certain letters together to make new letters. Here's what our keyboard setup looks like. Using the example above, we use "TK" for the letter "D"...so in steno, the word "dog" would be spelled "TKOG".

What's that, you say? Steno sucks and is a terrible thing for a human being to invent?

I know! I spent half a year learning this crap! But I know it now and I might as well put it to use.

---

So now for the fun part! If you didn't read that section above I'll give you the simple version: I know a crazy courtroom language and I can translate stuff into it for you 'cause I'm bored.

Wanna know how your name would look on a court transcript if you ever went to court? Are you dying to have a passage from the Twilight novels translated into Steno and have it make even less sense than usual? Are you curious about how to insult people in a language they almost certainly won't understand?

I don't know why you would want any of these things, but I am here to provide them anyway. Send me a block of text and I shall blow your mind. (Be sure to put 'em in quotes or something so I know what exactly you want translated!) You can also ask me questions about stenography and court reporting in general, of course...though god knows why you'd want to do that!

Love,

AL
TPA
DOR
MAUN
TAE

...that is, AlphaDormante.
Edited by AlphaDormante, Dec 19 2012, 04:58 AM.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Penguins4Freedom
Member Avatar
The Lord of Misrule & The Abbot of Unreason
Translate: HELP I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THE BODY OF A COURTROOM STENOGRAPHER
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
AlphaDormante
Member Avatar
bringin' it around town
Penguins4Freedom
Dec 19 2012, 08:41 AM
Translate: HELP I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THE BODY OF A COURTROOM STENOGRAPHER
Spoiler: click to toggle


The fun part is seeing words that are actually in English :P
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Penguins4Freedom
Member Avatar
The Lord of Misrule & The Abbot of Unreason
Awesome. With this Facebook status, I'll be the talk of the town.

...

It's a small town.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
PhoenixM23
Member Avatar
(Insert generic title here)
"I'm living large in a mirror, by the sea, inside a rock, under the eagle's bed."
Edited by PhoenixM23, Dec 19 2012, 06:17 PM.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
Huzzahfortimelines
Member Avatar

I am a sheep, hear me bark.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
AlphaDormante
Member Avatar
bringin' it around town
PhoenixM23
Dec 19 2012, 06:16 PM
"I'm living large in a mirror, by the sea, inside a rock, under the eagle's bed."

Spoiler: click to toggle



Quote:
 
I am a sheep, hear me bark.


Spoiler: click to toggle
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
PhoenixM23
Member Avatar
(Insert generic title here)
AlphaDormante
Dec 19 2012, 04:52 AM
Warning! The first section of this post is educational. Skip to the second half for the fun part :P

So I've been going to college to become a court reporter for just over a year now. For those of you who don't know, here in America there is a profession for people to sit inside a courtroom with a little typewriter-like machine and record everything that's being said (if they do this in other countries as well I have no idea).

We have to type at the speed of people talking...which on average fluctuates anywhere from 140 to 200 words per minute. Consider that the average person types 40 WPM on the computer and know that yes, we are insane. Needless to say, we have to take a lot of shortcuts. Instead of typing words one letter at a time, we type the whole word at once. For example, on a computer it would take you three strokes to spell out "d-o-g". We just hit all three letters at the same time and get the word.

But in order to use these shortcuts, we have to do some really weird things with our letters, like combining certain letters together to make new letters. Here's what our keyboard setup looks like. Using the example above, we use "TK" for the letter "D"...so in steno, the word "dog" would be spelled "TKOG".

What's that, you say? Steno sucks and is a terrible thing for a human being to invent?

I know! I spent half a year learning this crap! But I know it now and I might as well put it to use.

---

So now for the fun part! If you didn't read that section above I'll give you the simple version: I know a crazy courtroom language and I can translate stuff into it for you 'cause I'm bored.

Wanna know how your name would look on a court transcript if you ever went to court? Are you dying to have a passage from the Twilight novels translated into Steno and have it make even less sense than usual? Are you curious about how to insult people in a language they almost certainly won't understand?

I don't know why you would want any of these things, but I am here to provide them anyway. Send me a block of text and I shall blow your mind. (Be sure to put 'em in quotes or something so I know what exactly you want translated!) You can also ask me questions about stenography and court reporting in general, of course...though god knows why you'd want to do that!

Love,

AL
TPA
DOR
MAUN
TAE

...that is, AlphaDormante.
Translate that :D
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
AlphaDormante
Member Avatar
bringin' it around town
PhoenixM23
Dec 23 2012, 07:52 PM
AlphaDormante
Dec 19 2012, 04:52 AM
Warning! The first section of this post is educational. Skip to the second half for the fun part :P

So I've been going to college to become a court reporter for just over a year now. For those of you who don't know, here in America there is a profession for people to sit inside a courtroom with a little typewriter-like machine and record everything that's being said (if they do this in other countries as well I have no idea).

We have to type at the speed of people talking...which on average fluctuates anywhere from 140 to 200 words per minute. Consider that the average person types 40 WPM on the computer and know that yes, we are insane. Needless to say, we have to take a lot of shortcuts. Instead of typing words one letter at a time, we type the whole word at once. For example, on a computer it would take you three strokes to spell out "d-o-g". We just hit all three letters at the same time and get the word.

But in order to use these shortcuts, we have to do some really weird things with our letters, like combining certain letters together to make new letters. Here's what our keyboard setup looks like. Using the example above, we use "TK" for the letter "D"...so in steno, the word "dog" would be spelled "TKOG".

What's that, you say? Steno sucks and is a terrible thing for a human being to invent?

I know! I spent half a year learning this crap! But I know it now and I might as well put it to use.

---

So now for the fun part! If you didn't read that section above I'll give you the simple version: I know a crazy courtroom language and I can translate stuff into it for you 'cause I'm bored.

Wanna know how your name would look on a court transcript if you ever went to court? Are you dying to have a passage from the Twilight novels translated into Steno and have it make even less sense than usual? Are you curious about how to insult people in a language they almost certainly won't understand?

I don't know why you would want any of these things, but I am here to provide them anyway. Send me a block of text and I shall blow your mind. (Be sure to put 'em in quotes or something so I know what exactly you want translated!) You can also ask me questions about stenography and court reporting in general, of course...though god knows why you'd want to do that!

Love,

AL
TPA
DOR
MAUN
TAE

...that is, AlphaDormante.
Translate that :D
Not a chance, bub. :P
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · General Discussion · Next Topic »
Locked Topic

Theme Orbital by tiptopolive of Zathyus Network Resources.