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| Man Vs Women Battle...; Let it begin... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 28 2005, 02:28 AM (2,473 Views) | |
| flemse | Jul 14 2005, 07:08 AM Post #201 |
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Bronze Member
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Heyyyyy Wait for me dam it... hehe. 8 jokes woooo. You devel women you..... (bow) Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. He said this person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed. Adam asked "What would a woman like this cost me??" God said an "arm and a leg." Adam said "What can I get for a just a rib???" The rest is history Dam why are you over there, i cant give you a hug. Well ill try, gives Carmen a biiigg hug... I feel you need it... (blowkiss) |
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 14 2005, 01:28 PM Post #202 |
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Bronze Member
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Steve was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Steve decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business. And, after weeks of negotiations, he bought the company outright. But after signing on the dotted line, he realized that he knew nothing about running such a business and quickly set out to hire someone who could do that for him. The next day he had set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Steve asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And the gentleman answered, "Why yes, I couldn't help but notice you have no ears." Steve got very angry and threw him out. The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question, Do you notice anything different about me? And she replied: "Well, you have no ears." Steve again was upset and tossed her out. The third and last interview was the best of all three. It was with a very young man who was fresh out of college. He was smart. He was handsome. And he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Steve was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And to his surprise, the young man answered: Yes. You wear contact lenses." Steve was shocked, and said, "What an incredibly observant young man. How in the world did you know that?" The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fuckin' ears!" (lmao) |
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 14 2005, 01:36 PM Post #203 |
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Bronze Member
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Two beautiful statues in a park, facing each other across the grass, one of a young girl and the other of a young man, looking towards each other like young lovers. These statues gave so much pleasure to people visiting the park that God looked down and decided to reward them with life for 30 minutes, on a Sunday when the park was closed to the public. Immediately when they came alive, they ran together into the bushes and could be heard giggling and cooing with pleasure and the bushes were shaking. After 15 minutes they came out and realised that they still had 15 minutes more life to live. "What shall we do now then" said the boy statue. "Let's do the same thing again" she replied. "Okay", said the boy statue, "but this time, you hold the pidgeons down while I shit on them". (rocky) |
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| velan | Jul 14 2005, 03:14 PM Post #204 |
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Loyal Member
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(sleep) hmmmmm nice story buddy! hehehehe i look forward to the next winter... donīt forget my friend (rocky) |
Tune in
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| WorkingMom | Jul 15 2005, 02:32 AM Post #205 |
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Helping Lyne!
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I thought I needed to catch up since I hadn't posted much lately....hope you can keep up. Thank you for the big hug. (blowkiss) |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| WorkingMom | Jul 15 2005, 03:12 AM Post #206 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Q. What's the height of conceit? A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| WorkingMom | Jul 15 2005, 03:17 AM Post #207 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. (lmao) |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| WorkingMom | Jul 15 2005, 03:23 AM Post #208 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? A. About three inches. |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| WorkingMom | Jul 15 2005, 03:25 AM Post #209 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| flemse | Jul 15 2005, 12:38 PM Post #210 |
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Bronze Member
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Well beauty im off for 2 weeks (vacation) juhuuu. Keep this alive while im gone. take care..... (blowkiss) The following paper contains actual quotes taken from FEDERAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS. 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet." 6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." 7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better." 11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together." 12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." 13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." 14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." 15. "He's been working with glue to much." 16. "He would argue with a signpost." 17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." 18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one." 20. "A photographic memory but with the lense cover glued on." 21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." 22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn' t coming." 24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it." 25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." 26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." 28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." 29. "One neuron short of a synapse." 30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." 31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes." 32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead." (wave) |
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 12:28 AM Post #211 |
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Bronze Member
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Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand. "What is your name?" he asked. "Quack." the duck answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was blowing bubbles." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "Quack," the duck answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was blowing bubbles." the duck replied. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said. "No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles." (rocky) |
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 12:41 AM Post #212 |
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Bronze Member
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Who's Boss? When the Lord made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss. The brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be boss. The legs argued that since they took man wherever he wanted to go, he should be boss. The stomach countered with the explanation that since he digested all the food, he should be boss. The eyes said that without them, man would be helpless, so he should be boss. Then the ass hole applied for the job... The other parts of the body laughed so hard that the ass hole became mad and closed up. After a few days, the brain went foggy, the legs got wobbly, the stomach was ill, the eyes got crossed and unable to see. They all conceded and made the ass hole boss. This proves that you don't have to be a brain to be a boss. Just an asshole. (tup)
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 01:08 AM Post #213 |
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Helping Lyne!
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THE EGG! If you think life is bad..... How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get hard. Only two minutes to get soft. You share your box with 6 other guys But worst of all.. the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!! So cheer up, Your life ain't that bad!!!! Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, Oops....I mean day!!!!! I can always use a good lay |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 01:45 AM Post #214 |
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Bronze Member
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Ha carmen just come with me on vacation, and ill give you your best lay... ups day in your life...
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 01:51 AM Post #215 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Too bad you live so far away or I would take you up on that offer.
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 01:54 AM Post #216 |
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The only thing i can say is, yes it is..... (sad)
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 01:55 AM Post #217 |
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Helping Lyne!
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I would be so bad
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 01:56 AM Post #218 |
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Bronze Member
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And im sure i would love it....
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 01:57 AM Post #219 |
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Bronze Member
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Yepppie Jayyyy
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 01:57 AM Post #220 |
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Helping Lyne!
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I hope or you would kick me out on the streets (nervous) |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 01:58 AM Post #221 |
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Helping Lyne!
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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| StEC | Jul 16 2005, 02:00 AM Post #222 |
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StecNet Creator
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OK you two get a room will ya!!! HAHAHA (lmao)
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we will change the world. All my very best, Jack Layton | |
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 02:00 AM Post #223 |
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Bronze Member
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Noooo i would never kick you out, i would tide you to the bed, and give you a good f....hehe
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| flemse | Jul 16 2005, 02:01 AM Post #224 |
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Bronze Member
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Ha ha Stec, we have a room, the best there is...
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Flemse <img src='http://img299.echo.cx/img299/2/The Silent Suit9qm4wx.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
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| WorkingMom | Jul 16 2005, 02:01 AM Post #225 |
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Helping Lyne!
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Got me interested Stec, you want to join us in the room. (rocky) |
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"Friends are like stars ... they always seem to shine their brightest when the night is at it's darkest." | |
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