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Joke,s; as it says just joke's here
Topic Started: Mar 2 2005, 04:52 PM (310 Views)
Adam
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Administrator R1's Rule
As a trucker in Essex stops for a red light, a blonde in her car
pulls up along side.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and
knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi,
my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is
Sharon, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the
blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door.
The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Sharon and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green, the trucker
revs up and races to the next light.
When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm driving a f**king gritter!"
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
LMAO
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louise
Unregistered

hahaha
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james
250cc just passed test
excellent roflmao :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jobs 'a' good'n!
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
Now we just need some more jokes
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Adam
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Administrator R1's Rule
this 1 is for James
On the farm lived a chicken and a donkey, both of whom loved to play
together. One day, the two were playing when the donkey fell into a Bog
and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the donkey 'hee hawed' for the chicken to go get
the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.

Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no
avail, For he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around,
the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-4 series BMW. Finding the keys
inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had
time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the donkey was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken
arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of
rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the
chicken then drove slowly forward and, wit h the aid of the powerful car,
rescued the donkey!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and
the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best
pals A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he
too, began to sink and cried out to the donkey to save his life!

The donkey thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large
puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would
then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the
donkey pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
When you're hung like a donkey, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks
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Adam
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Administrator R1's Rule
Read the story first, then look at the picture!

A co-worker, trying to clear a blockage, got a pen stuck inside the printer. He tried to remove the pen, but I told him we didn't have time for that now, and just to put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk.

He obviously grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of the techs comes in laughing and says he saw a note on a printer and went to investigate.

Clearly sometimes things don't always come across the way you want
them to........!!
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Adam
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Administrator R1's Rule
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word"lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a
hostage situation?

Can you cry under water?

What level of importance must a person have before they are considered
assassinated, instead of murdered.

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up,
like, every two hours

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to see things on the ground.

Why do Doctors leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you
change?
..... They're still going to see you naked anyway.
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<span style=Gelf</span>
ZRX1100 rider
did you say something about pizza !!!
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<span style=Gelf</span>
ZRX1100 rider
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I`ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I`ve told you I`m a beautiful princess, that I`ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won`t you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I`m an engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that`s cool."
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
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Kitten
750 Super Sports
SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
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