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| Local Loonies; Every town has one. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 10th August 2010 - 04:13 PM (2,422 Views) | |
| Lurk | 10th August 2010 - 04:13 PM Post #1 |
Welsh Viking
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So who is your town's nutter? Every town has one, they have a tendency to be homeless, but there are plenty of famous weirdos. One of the ones near me sits outside his house most of the day, with either talk radio or the telly blaring out. His house is covered in various political slogans and his philosophy on life. Currently he has "Share the love hellp(sic) feed the north Korenans." and "Psyclopathic MI6 STOLE my letter to the queen." Since this was taken on google streetview, his house is covered in even more flags and slogans. Though you can see where he got his windows smashed by the local chavs. |
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| Gladstone Small | 10th August 2010 - 04:38 PM Post #2 |
Give me Choco Liebniz
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I love these types of threads. Here in Redhill, we have Norwich City Bloke, an Aspergers suffering old boy who walks around telling everyone the latest football news and about his girlfriend, Gwen. Distinguishing features - he wears Norwich City gear. We also have Fast Walking Man, a largely doolally bloke who yells "OOH!" occasionally for no reason while walking round and round the town with no particular destination. On top of that we have Looking-For-Change Lady, who goes in and out of shops checking the floors for dropped change and bothering cashiers with anything she finds until they take it from her. |
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| Handsome Dead | 10th August 2010 - 05:14 PM Post #3 |
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Sieg Heil
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There's a few round about here. There's Bouncing Billy who got jilted on his wedding day which turned him into a bit of a benny. He was supposedly OK beforehand but that sent him over the edge. He's called Bouncing Billy because he walks putting one foot as far in front of the other as possible so just bounces up and down while he walks. While helping in the shop round the corner, I found out he's unemployed and is into his porno as, every week, he would buy everything new off the top shelf. One time he asked for a refund because he already had the same mag, it just came with a different DVD. He's also got the most horrible, dirty beard I've ever seen. Then there was Brian who lived at the other end of the street from me who used to do odd jobs for everyone in his spare time until one day, he was helping the bin men and a wheelie bin fell off the van and hit him on the head. From then on, he's walk round every day from as soon as he got up until he went to bed so you'd always see him and, worse, you'd hear him because he's just talk to himself non stop. He'd also rummage in people's bins for stuff and that led to a few tragic incidents, one of the ones that stands out the most was when he found a near empty bottle of self tan. There was only enough for his left arm and you could clearly see the hand marks in it. His dumpster diving led to one of the funniest things I've ever seen though as the woman who worked in the shop used to talk to him all the time and her son went to school with me so we'd be waiting at the same bus stop. One day, in full view of the bus, he found an orange in a bin, gave it to him with a fiver and when we were on the bus, started shouting 'Happy birthday!' till we were out of sight. In all the time I was there, no one on the bus forgot about it. He used to live with his old mum and the house was like a bombsite. Then, one day, he just got taken away and no one saw him again, I assume he's dead now as it's been about 5 years and he was getting on himself. I don't even think the house has been sold. Then there was Brian's mate who had a bike with an old fashioned radio sellotaped to the handlebars. I remember a few times being at a train or bus station while he was there and he'd always be telling someone about the time he saw a UFO over the Formby Bypass. And that's just the neighborhood. There's also No Smoking Man, the homeless guy with the cardboard guitar, the fat Kopite with the huge saggy tits and many, many more. |
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| Al Watson | 10th August 2010 - 06:35 PM Post #4 |
Regular Member
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Sorry in advance to Loki, but The Bearded Lady Of Guildford is pretty mad. She was staring at me in a little shopping centre in Guildford and it was really unnerving.  When I worked in the Currys (Costanza takes cock behind the 3DTVs) in town there was a guy who used to come in 2 or 3 times a week and open the door to every fridge freezer, look inside them all, close them and leave. He looked exactly like a homeless Bill Bailey, and stank of rubbish. He was really softly spoken though.There's a fairly crazy Christian woman who wandered about town too who used to carry a little CD stereo and a guitar. She'd then plant herself outside a random shop and generally annoy people. She used to sit on buses giving out blankets and yoghurt as well. Then there was Dirty Irene and Mad Bryan. Just general weirdos really. Mad Bryan used to sit in the park watching girls of questionable legality while drinking cheap cider. |
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| Lurk | 10th August 2010 - 06:47 PM Post #5 |
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Welsh Viking
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I forgot the most famous wierdoes in my town, the Krankies live here. Any bloke who dresses his mrs up as a school boy aint right.
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| Ghost | 10th August 2010 - 06:53 PM Post #6 |
Just an ordinary guy...
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In Hartlepool we have Laurence, the sports mad transvestite who's mother used to dress in girls clothes as a kid. After his mother croaked he got worse and now walks around in knee high boots and skirts, usually accompanied by a football shirt of Hartlepool Uniteds upcoming opponents. Can regularly be seen in yates with a 3/4 size guitar strumming and singing along like a complete loon. 
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| Log Scott Wood | 10th August 2010 - 06:59 PM Post #7 |
Danny Dyer enthusiast
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Whycliffe is probably the most famous Nottingham character. He was allegedly a pretty famous singer who's appeared on Top Of The Pops before. And apparently was slinging one up Dannii Minogue for a period. He spent all his money on crack and booze and now wanders around singing for spare change. There's a fat guy down the road from me who spends all day catching the bus to and from town. He shouts to himself a lot. My personal favourite is a woman who spends all day in her front garden, either looking out over the gate at the road or just dicking around, looking busy. I reckon her husband left for a packet of cigarettes and never came back. |
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| gmoney | 10th August 2010 - 10:20 PM Post #8 |
Aha!
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Fucking hell, she used to hang about in Chichester too, occasionally. Must have had relatives here. I'm 90% sure it's the same woman. |
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| Mr.Showtime | 11th August 2010 - 02:06 PM Post #9 |
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Sir Ray of Sunshine
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There's two I can think of in my town. The first is a woman with special needs who is the exact shape of a basketball. She wanders about town all day nowhere in particular and talks to anyone she passes as though they are best buds. You can't understand what she says and I swear she hasn't aged in 20 years. The second is just known as Smelly Man - an awful-looking skinny man maybe in his 50s with long greasy gray hair and a spotty face. He wanders around town all day carrying a plastic bag (empty) and can usually be found in the Somerfield where I used to work five minutes before it closes. Similar to Al's weird 'customer', he goes in, feels around with all the fruit and veg with his dirty hands then leaves with nothing when told the store is closing. He absolutely stinks. |
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| L G Ramon | 12th August 2010 - 12:07 AM Post #10 |
Junior Member
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In Bradford it was the normal folk that stood out. Though the most famous of our nutters would be Bradford's Jesus Man, a fellow who walks around in a dress type thing with a handbag around his neck all day everyday, apparently he walks all over the country (or at least Yorkshire) because he's known as other things in other towns. Then we had the old mental Union man, guy with a beard and walking stick who only recently cropped up (last couple of years) he just walks around reasonably dressed picking out people for conversations, my first encounter was in Subway when I ordered a sarnie and he shouted out "That's what they said about the workers!" another time he accused me of skinning animals when I was walking around town with my mates "I've seen you, them poor animals, you take their skin off, I've seen you!". In Adelaide we've got a few that can be spotted usually on the main cities streets, their one fellow who walks at pace up and down our main high street all day with about 5 cigarettes in his mouth, listening to his headphones grumbling. Then the usual suspects who you know will bother you for a cigarette. |
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| gmoney | 12th August 2010 - 06:46 AM Post #11 |
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Aha!
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Sutton also has a Jesus man http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2248553188&ref=search There used to be a gang of homeless guys and gals that would congregate around the Cross in Chichester, about 6 of them drinking white ciders and frightening non-locals. Most of them where pretty harmless and friendly though, even Mick the Knife. They started to die off though and get moved on my police more frequently and I haven't seen any of them about for about 3 years. |
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| Loki | 12th August 2010 - 10:43 AM Post #12 |
The Daddy
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The Tory government in the late 80s/early 90s closed a lot of mental hospitals, releasing their patients into "public care" which basically meant onto the streets, which is why the late 90s was a golden age of weirdos. They've started dying off now though. |
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| FNS | 12th August 2010 - 12:23 PM Post #13 |
Regular Member
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The only one that could have been classed as a 'loony' disappeared a long time ago round here. The Gnome we called him, for obvious reasons. Seemed a nice enough chap actually. Next to your lot he would probably look like Stephen Hawking. |
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| Bazihnio | 12th August 2010 - 01:52 PM Post #14 |
Top Poster
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Not too sure of them up here but there is the legendary Rabbitman of Chorlton. Some geezer who carries a rabbit called James Bond around with him. He also has a skateboard, a can of Special Brew for him and some water for the rabbit. |
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| Dillkid | 12th August 2010 - 09:01 PM Post #15 |
Fat
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What a brilliant thread! Swanley is full of nutters. There is Kim, the man who fell of a climbing frame in the 60s and got head damage - he has been walking around the town ever since pushing his trolly along, along with visits to the library asking people if they knew certain facts about the Guiness Book Of Records. When my mum was at school in the 80s, he used to wait out side at home times looking at the little girls. There is also the Yu Gi Oh man, who goes up to children and starts talking about the Yu Gi Oh trading card game. There is the indian perv who works in the sweet shop down the high street, who goes around on his push bike all the time. He is pervy because he used to sell teenage lads porn mags. Then there is the smelly old man who must be in his 80s, and doesn't appear to have washed in a long, long time - he tries paying for cups of coffea with coppers and buttons out of his dirty old blazer pockets. There is the man who walks down St Mary's Road, and after every 10 seconds or so he will start running, then walking, the running etc. My school is full of weirdos as well, including people who don't wash, people who run around the school all lunch flapping their hands around. |
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