Loki

25th July 2011 - 12:06 PM

Did I ever wrestle for SCW? I think I was a Joey Holmes exclusive.

Quote:

 

This is SCW Hellbound!!

Brought to you by -

DIME BAR!!

Mick Foley: "WELCOME TO SCW HELLBOUND!! I am your anchor, Mick Foley, once again alongside my partner in crime - Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley!!"

Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley: "OOWWWWWWWW yeah!! "

Foley: "We are LIVE from the Showtime Arena in Showtime City, and the 50,000 capacity crowd here are all in huge anticipation for tonight's PPV!!"

That Cat: "That's right, Foley, we have six huge matches, three titles on the line, and a lot more besides!"

Foley: "Of course, Cat, there is a No.1 Gimmick contender bout, Independant's Day II, where we will see the debuts of two new stars...."

That Cat: "....but if they lose, it will be their ONLY appearance...."

Foley: ".....that's true, and then we have the Respect My Authority face-off between Mr.Showtime and 'Big' Bal Bowski!"

The Cat: "Oh man, the monkeys watching live at home are gonna LOVE this!"

Foley: "Let's hand you down to ringside, with Jim Carrey."

Announcer Jim Carrey: "ALLLLLLL-RIGHTEEEEEEEEE THENNNN!!!!!" (crowd cheers!) The following match, scheduled for one fall, is for the SCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!" (loud applause!!)

SCW World Tag Team Championship
FNS and Exgenesys (champions) vs Muzza and JaYo
Referee: Ronan Keating

*THEME TUNE - 'I'm On my Way' by The Proclaimers*

Jim Carrey: "Introducing, the number one contenders and challengers, representing The Tartan Army, this is JaYo.....and Muzza!!" (the crowd boos.)

*THEME TUNE - 'Breathe & Stop' by Q-Tip*

Jim Carrey: "Making their way to the ring, they are the current and defending SCW World Tag Team Champions, they are FNS....and Exgenesys!!" (the crowd are on their feet applauding.)

Foley: "Mr.Showtime granted a title shot to The Tartan Army after they gave FNS a beating due to the use of the Shooting Star Tombstone. This is a very good opportunity for The Army to put themselves on the map."

The Cat: "Hey Mick, do you think Mr.Showtime would give me a pay-rise if I beat the holy hell out of you??!"

Foley: " (laughs) Ha ha, you couldn't beat the hell outta me right now....I have Barbie under the desk."

The Cat: ".....oh......"

Foley: "And we're underway, it's ExGen and JaYo starting off, and they are not holding back!"

ExGen and JaYo throw some stiff offence, and after a chop battle in the corner, a JaYo Scottish-Whip is reversed, and it's JaYo who goes chest-first into the opposite corner! Ouch! FNS tags in, and he kicks JaYo's midsection until JaYo is slumped in the corner.

The Cat: "......Wait a minute!! What is Barbie doing under the desk??!
.....Why is your face going red, Mick?!"

Foley: "Just......just shut up and call the match, Dibley!"

FNS whips JaYo into the ropes but he scarpers, and tags in Muzza. Muzza charges at FNS but runs right into a Tilt-A-Squirrel Backbreaker! Muzza is dragged into the corner, and the champs punish Muzza's spine with backbreaker holds and bodyslams.

JaYo gets fed up of it, and charges the ring. ExGen goes to meet him, and it turns into a four-man battle for control! FNS and ExGen whip the Army into the ropes, and attempt stereo dropkicks, but JaYo and Muzza hook onto the ropes, and the champs land flat on their backs. They pick up ExGen and throw him out the ring. JaYo and Muzza begin kicking the crap out of FNS, and they hit a beautiful double flap-jack with major hangtime from FNS! Muzza holds FNS up, and Jayo runs the ropes - but ExGen grabs a foot from the outside and drags JaYo out the ring!

Inside, Muzza, who was holding FNS, flips the move into a stunning DDT. One, two - FNS gets a shoulder up!

ExGen and JaYo battle near the announcer's desk - JaYo's chest has gone bright red due to the VICIOUS back-hand chops! ExGen jumps up, and a dropkick sends JaYo onto, and over, the announcer's desk, and he goes careering into Jim Carrey!! ExGen turns, and sees FNS being blasted with a HUGE Scotch Suplex!

Muzza covers FNS - One, two....ExGen breaks the count! ExGen decides to go back out to see to JaYo, who has been BUSTED WIDE OPEN! ExGen rolls out the ring, and doesn't see that JaYo is holding one of the tag Team title belts - until the last second! JaYo swings, and ExGen ducks! JaYo pummels the title belt into the ring post, sending pain shooting through his arms in the process! ExGen charges at JaYo, but HE rolls out the way, and ExGen runs shoulder-first into the ring-post! JaYo and ExGen are both down and out on the outside!

Inside, Muzza hauls FNS up, and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle.

Foley: "This looks like a position to end the match right here, FNS is not in good shape! Infact, it looks like Muzza is going to attempt the Single Malt, but from the TOP rope!"

The Cat: "My God, he can't do this......wait, FNS just broke out of the hold, and he's in position for....no, man, he's not going to.....(!)"

Foley: "OH MY GOD! A Shooting Star Tombstone by FNS! Muzza has been breathtakingly CRUSHED!!"

* 'HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!' *

FNS collapses onto Muzza's prone body, and referee Keating is right there to count one....two....three.

Foley: "What a match to kick off Hellbound, Cat!"

The Cat: "No way man, that match should be null and void - I thought that move was BANNED!!"

Foley: "Oh yeah - you have a point Dwayne - there could be some serious consequences as a result!"

WINNERS - and STILL Tag Team Champions: Exgenesys and FNS

Foley: "Well we gotta move right on folks, and I hear that our new backstage reporter, Jimmy Hill, is on to something. Jimmy?"





*BACKSTAGE*



Jimmy Hill: "Yes, yes, I'm here with The Genius, who is up next. He could become the Gimmick No.1 contender if he wins tonights' Fatal Four-Way match. Do you think you have a good chance, Gene?"

The Genius: "Of course. On paper, I have the same chance as everyone else. However, paper only tells a portion of the story. True, my time to shine is yet to arise on the horizon, but I believe that tonight, is the night. And to whoever is the champ in the........"

Shake This appears behind Jimmy Hill.

Shake This: "WOW! Did you SEE her??!"

The Genius: "What are you blabbering about, Shake?"

Shake This: "Did you not see her? The hot chick that I keep spotting in the main corridor. TELL me you've seen her?!! Man, the things I could do if I got my..."

Jimmy Hill: "Erm, hello, Mr.This - I'm trying to do an interview. What do you think the outcome of your match will be?"

Shake This: "Oh, that. Well I'm gonna win. I'm not gonna beat around the bush......I'm gonna win. I proved last Tuesday that I can beat anyone in front of me, and I'll do it again......"

The Genius: "Not if I have anything to say about it, Shake - I don't think you would've got the win if it wasn't for ME."

Shake This and The Genius are now right in each other's faces.

Jimmy Hill: "Well certainly, it's going to be a ........"

Jimmy Hill spots Mr.Showtime down the hall. He runs (slowly) towards the owner.

Jimmy Hill: "Excuse me! Mr.Showtime! Excuse me!"

Mr.Showtime: "WHAT??!"

Jimmy Hill: "Sir, can I get your thoughts on...."

Mr.Showtime: "....Shut up. I don't have time for this! I just saw FNS perform a SHOOTING STAR TOMBSTONE.....(loud cheers)....and I am NOT happy about it. You can tell FNS that I will deal with him this Tuesday, on Jinx. In the meantime, I have an important match to prepare for. All I have to say about that is what I've said before. Bal Bowski is NOT Championship material. And I will PROVE that - tonight. Now get out of my way, coffin-dodger."

Gimmick No.1 Contender Fatal Four-Way Match
Max Caschera vs Shake This vs Haraga vs The Genius
Referee: Mini-Me

Despite the Shake/Genius confrontation earlier, the match begins as a two-on-two battle, as Haraga and Caschera decide to join forces to beat down the other two.

Foley: "Just to inform everyone, this is NOT an elimination match and there are no tags necessary - the first star to win a pinfall or submission decision will win the match, and face either Ki Crusher or Mikey Richards down the line in a Gimmick Title match!"

Shake This and The Genius - two semi-finalists in the World Title Tournament - overcome Max and Haraga, and throw them over the top rope onto the floor. Shake and The Genius then begin grappling each other, and after a few Irish whips with no winner, a spinning heel kick by The Genius sends Shake rolling out the ring!

The Genius spots the three opponents together on the outside, and in a flash, climbs the turnbuckles.

The Cat: "This guy is crazy, man! He's not gonna jump on them from up THERE, is he?!

Foley: "He may just do that, Cat..... And he does, with authority! That was a version of the Nobel Prize, onto ALL three guys!

The Genius gets up and brushes himself down. He drags Max into the ring, and bodyslams him to the mat! He goes up top again, and attempts a cross body-block - but Caschera rolls through, and hooks the leg!! One! Two! -

Haraga breaks the count in the nick of time! He picks up The Genius, and Caschera then signals to Haraga - Haraga nods, and BAM!! The Genius is hit with a Brick Wall - a signature move of The Council! Haraga makes the cover, but Max breaks it! Haraga and Max begin arguing, then Max slaps the Tartan Army member in the face!

Shake This then enters, and hits them both with clotheslines! Right hand to Haraga! Right hand to Caschera! The Genius is in pain in the corner. Shake with a DDT to Haraga! Shake then suplexes Max, but Max lands on his feet, he tries a German suplex - Shake flips over and lands on HIS feet - then they both grapple, and force each other over the top rope and onto the floor!

Haraga gets up first in the ring, and forces The Genius into the corner. Haraga is kicking the crap out of the Genius! The fans ain't liking it one bit! On the outside, Max tries to suplex Shake, but Shake hooks a leg, and hits Caschera with a front-face suplex - Max Caschera lands face-first on the entrance ramp!

Haraga pulls up The Genius in the corner, and begins slapping him. He then takes a few steps back, and taunts the crowd! Haraga takes a swing with his left foot - but The Genius catches it! He swings Haraga around - and there's Shake This! He's back in the ring, and Haraga walks right into a Pervous Breakdown!! The Genius quickly jumps to the top rope.

Foley: "Wow Cat - this is a similar ending to that eight-man tag match last Tuesday - if the Genius hits this, it will be identical!"

The Genius sizes up Haraga on the mat, and let's fly!

WHAM!!

Shake This hits a dropkick on The Genius, right in the back of the head, while he is in mid-air! The Genius rolls out the ring, and Shake covers Haraga!

One...two.....

Max Caschera rolls in, and launches himself onto Shake.....

Three!!!

Caschera couldn't make it in time - Shake This pins Haraga, and wins the match!

WINNER: Shake This

*BACKSTAGE*

We see live pictures of Ki Crusher and Mikey Richards, in seperate locker rooms, lacing up their boots. Ki Crusher seems to be talking to someone out of shot. Mikey is eating a Dime Bar.

Foley: "These two men, Ki Crusher and Mikey Richards, faced off in the first EVER match here in SCW. Crusher won that one, and last Tuesday on Jinx, Mikey Richards made it one win apiece. Tonight, these two men go at it for the Gimmick Championship. The stipulation: Submissions Count Anywhere."

In the ring are The Dark Vampire and 'The Minstrel' Mark Henry. Will tonight be the night they buck up their ideas??

Independants' Day II
The Dark Vampire and 'The Minstrel' vs ????? and ?????
Referee: John Fashanu

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team match is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, 'The Minstrel' and The Dark Vampire!!"

(the crowd couldn't give a toss.)

"And now, introducing the opponents!! First of all, a man who featured in the original Independant's Day.....this is......





".......KRIS 'FIREWORK' RANGER!!"

Foley: "WOW! Sheriff Baz has picked a phenomenal talent - Kris Ranger is a serious, serious talent, and it was only due to a lack of luck that he didn't get through the original Independant's Day. He's been spotted at Jinx a few times, and he finally has another chance to sparkle!"

Jim Carrey: "And his tag team partner.....this is......






".............'STYLES CLASH'!!

The Cat: "Oh man!! OOWWWW!! This guy rocks! He is one of the most popular indy workers, I've been a huge fan of Jason Roberts, and his 'Styles Clash' character is gonna do major business here in SCW!"

Foley: "I hope so, Cat - thing is, they gotta win this match. It's not gonna be easy."

The Dark Vampire uses his vicious streak from the beginning, tearing into Firework with kicks and punches, shoulder blocks and strangle holds. But Firework manages to escape a hold, and hits a side-suplex on TDV!

TDV tags in The Minstrel - and Firework tags Styles Clash!

BOOM! Styles Clash rips into the Minstrel with thundering clotheslines! He throws Minstrel into the ropes and whips him with an overhead belly suplex! The Vampire comes back in, and he gets an overhead too! Firework grabs TDV and dropkicks him through the ropes. TDV stands on the apron, and Firework hits a sunset flip powerbomb over the ropes and onto the floor!

Styles Clash grabs The Minstrel and locks him in a full nelson, but as the referee watches Firework, The Minstrel kicks Styles Clash in the nuts! the Minstrel then climbs to the second turnbuckle, and tries a legdrop - and connects! One - two - oh, only a two count! The Minstrel whips Clash off the ropes - Styles Clash counters - and Firework jumps up onto the apron, and kicks the Minstrel in the back! The Minstrel arches his back in pain, and Styles Clash takes full advantage, performing a hooked cradle piledriver! What a move!

Firework, on the apron, spots The Dark Vampire getting up on the outside. Firework charges, and flings himself into the Vampire, with the Catherine Wheel somersault plancha! They're both down, Styles Clash covers The Minstrel in the ring, hooks a leg, and they get the three count! We have NEW SCW roster members!

WINNERS: Jay 'Styles Clash' Roberts & 'Firework' Kris Ranger

Styles Clash and Firework applaud the fans from inside the ring - the fans seem to have taken to them quickly! They shake hands on a job well done, and exit the ring. As they walk down the aisle and through the curtains, Sheriff Baz appears on the ShowReel big screen as The Dark Vampire and The Minstrel Mark Henry shake off the cobwebs in the ring.

Sheriff Baz: "I guess it didn't work then. I hoped you two were gonna raise your game for this one, and it didn't happen. You two are a liability. So there's only one thing I can do in this situation...."

'The Minstrel' grabs a microphone.

The Minstrel: "....Whoa, hold on there Baz!! Don't you DARE tell us two that you're gonna terminate our contracts. Don't you DARE."

Sheriff Baz: ".......Not as such. Minstrel, Vampire.....I'm not terminating your contracts.

".........I'm terminating YOU."

With that, the lights go out, and the arena goes pitch-black.





Foley: "What the - is this meant to happen? What's going on?"

The lights come back on again. There is a third man standing in the ring, behind The Minstrel and The Vampire.







"Holy MOTHER of GOD - It's ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!!! With a STEEL CHAIR!!!"

WHAM! Arnie plants the chair into The Minstrel's back!

The Dark Vampire turns to face the Govenor....

THWACK! Big Arn brings the steel down, right through The Vampire's head!! The chair snaps in half!

(The crowd chant 'HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!')

Schwarzenegger rolls the two losers out the ring, and carries them out the arena, The Vampire under his left arm and The Minstrel over his right shoulder, to massive cheers and applause, and a chorus of 'Na na na na, na na na na, HEY HEY HEY - GOODBYE!!

Foley: "I get it - Arnold Schwarzenegger is the SCW Trash Collecter!"

The Cat: "Man, if THAT'S the way we get rid of the trash around here, I'm gonna make damn sure I'm no litter lout!"

Foley: "The moral of this story - Keep Showtime City Tidy, folks!"



Mikey Richards can be seen just behind the curtains. He would be warming up, but it looks as though he has a piece of Dime Bar stuck to the roof of his mouth.

WHACK!! Ki Crusher attacks Mikey Richards from behind, and knocks him down! The Dime Bar piece shoots out and hits the camera! Crusher has brought referee Kriss Akabusi with him, and well, this match is underway!

SCW Gimmick Championship - Submissions Count Anywhere
Ki Crusher (champion) vs Mikey Richards
Referee: Kriss Akabusi

Ki Crusher rips off his Gimmick Title belt, and begins using it as a whip, swinging it down onto Mikey's legs!! Mikey screams in agony.

Mikey: "Ayyyy! that's f--cking SORE!!"

The crowd laughs, albeit sympathetically, as Ki Crusher works on the legs backstage. He kicks them, punches them, and lands elbows on them! Crusher drags Mikey to the bottom of the steps to the stage entrance, and he then climbs the steps - he's looking to stamp onto the legs from a height - but Mikey raises a foot and Ki Crusher smacks his chin off it! That's hurt Mikey too, but already he's running on nothing but adrenaline!

Mikey and Ki crawl up the steps, and grapple each other while falling through the curtains - they are now in full view of the audience, on the entrance stage! Mikey chops Ki but he raises a knee into Richards' abdomen. Crusher whips Richards into the stage but he counters, and the champ charges face-first into the stage structure! Ki steps back, right into a sleeper hold by Mikey! He's synching it in hard, yanking Crusher's head back and forward, left and right!

Crusher rolls through, Mikey turns to face him, and Ki Crusher hits an arm-drag - Richards lands on the stage on his back! Crusher goes back to the legs, and begind stomping on them. Ki Crusher then picks up Mikey by the ears, and chucks him off the side of the stage, onto massive crash mats. The champ follows, but Mikey has found a piece of lighting equipment, and smacks Crusher in the side of the head!

Mikey Richards goes for a cover, but referee Akabusi has to remind him that it's submissions only. Richards grabs Crusher by the ears, and pulls him towards the barricades, and throws him over, into the audience! Mikey takes a cup of soda from a fan, and temporarily blinds his opponent by splashing it in his face! He then picks up Ki Crusher, and slams him down onto an empty seat! The fans crowd round the two battlers as Mikey locks in a Crippler Crossface! They fans begin chanting 'TAP! TAP! TAP!' at Ki Crusher! Ki reaches onto a seat, and struggles free.

Mikey throws Crusher over the barricades again, and now they are ringside! Ki Crusher goes shoulder-first into the steel steps! Mikey then attempts the Crossface again, but Ki Crusher reverses it into a Ki-Lock! It could be over here! Akabusi asks Mikey if he wants to give up, but it's not happening! Mikey begins to crawl under the apron as he is in the hold, and he reaches his arms under the ring. He pulls out a pipe, and he brings it into the side of Crusher's face!

Ki Crusher releases the hold, and screams in pain, holding his face! He stands up and walks away round the ring. Mikey follows, but Ki sees him. Ki swings a punch, but Mikey ducks.....and locks Ki Crusher in a Tazzmission!! Ki Crusher is shocked, and he can't seem to find any way out! Mikey Richards drags Ki Crusher towards the commentator's desk, and pulls him onto it! Ki Crusher won't tap! Mikey Richards drags Crusher onto his feet on the table, and turns the Tazzmission into a reverse DDT - they both go crashing through the table!!

Mikey Richards struggles onto his feet after a minute or so, and stands over Ki Crusher. He then locks on the Sharpshooter! Ki Crusher is still lying in the debris of the announce table, he doesn't even seem to be conscious! This is it! It looks as though the referee is going to.....

Foley: "HEY!! Who's that??! Someone is coming in from the crowd!! Get HER out of there!"

The woman picks up the pipe left at ringside, and from behind, knocks over Mikey Richards!

The Cat: "Wait a minute - I know her! That's....."




Foley: "It's....... That's NIFF!!!

"She's not on this roster, dammit! She's pummeling Mikey's legs with that pipe!"

Ki Crusher begins to stir as Niff pulls Mikey Richards towards a ring-post. He is holding his legs in agony. Niff continues to stomp on the legs as Ki Crusher finally shakes off the table spot, and he rolls Mikey into the ring, legs around the ring-post. Crusher hooks on the Ki-Lock around the ring-post!

Niff shouts and laughs at Mikey Richards at he screams like a little girl. Ki yanks on the hold, and the referee sees no way out for the challenger - he calls for the bell!

Foley: "What a shocker! What a shocker! Since when was that jezebel on this roster?! She's not, I tell you! Dammit! Poor Mikey Richards! That damn Ki Crusher has held on to his title, thanks to NIFF!!"

WINNER and STILL Gimmick Champion: Ki Crusher



* BACKSTAGE *

We see Squat Rocker in his locker-room with Max Caschera.

Max: "I'm pissed off, Squat. I was robbed. I wanted to get this chance of the Gimmick Title, so that when you win tonight, we could have marched on, won the tag titles, then became the greatest Triple Crown champs in the business..."

Squat: "Max, come on........the tag titles are WELL below me now. I am NOT gonna mess this up, Max. I will become the FIRST SCW World Champ....and you can stand behind me, supporting me all the way. Right Max?"

Max: "....Yeah. Right."

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentleman, the next contest, scheduled for one fall, is the Respect My Authority match! (loud cheers!)"

* THEME TUNE - 'X.Y.U.' by The Smashing Pumpkins *

Foley: "My God the crowd are on their feet, what an ovation for 'Big' Bal Bowski!! Remember folks, if Bowski fails to beat Mr.Showtime here tonight, he won't receive the chance to capture the World Title - EVER!"

* THEME TUNE - 'No One Knows' by Queens Of The Stone Age *

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Introducing the owner of SCW -
MISSSSSSTERRR.....SHOOOOOOWWTIIIME!!"

(the audience jeer at the owner.)

Respect My Authority Match
Mr.Showtime vs 'Big' Bal Bowski
Referee: Rolf Harris

Foley: "Hold on a second - why the hell is HE here??!"

Alongside Mr.Showtime is JaYo of the Tartan Army!

The Cat: "Oh man, I don't know! The atmosphere is electric, Mick - Bowski and the boss are refusing to take their eyes off one another! This thing is gonna explode as soon as soon as Showtime hits the ring!"

And explode it does - Showtime climbs onto the apron, and Bal walks over to him right away and hip-tosses him into the ring! Bowski pummels the boss with forearms, whips him into the ropes, and Showtime is Speared to the mat! JaYo watches on worryingly at ringside as the owner's head is smashed off the canvas repeatedly by Bowski! Bowski pulls Showtime to the corner and uses all three turnbuckle pads, as he ploughs Showtime's head into them! He then exposes the bottom turnbuckle! Referee Harris tries to stop Bal but is simply pushed away.

Bowski turns his attention back to the boss but Showtime headbutts him! This sends Bowski to the outside, and as Showtime argues with the ref over whether they should scrap the games in the After Hours section, JaYo sends Bowski into the barricades! Harris then tends to the exposed turnbuckle, and Showtime joins JaYo on the outside! They pick up Bowski, and send him shoulder-first into the ring-post!

Showtime rolls his opponent into the ring, as JaYo backs off and pretends to lace up his boots. Showtime covers but only gets a two-count! He then goes to the turnbuckles, and exposes the steel ring that referee Harris just covered up again. He picks up Bowski, forces him into the opposite corner, and whips Bowski into the corner with the bottom pad exposed. Showtime charges - but Bowski slides down and catches Mr.Showtime in a drop-toe hold - the boss crashes face-first into the exposed steel!

Bowski lies on Showtime and hooks the leg for the cover! One....two.....

JaYo places Showtimes' foot on the bottom rope!

Bowski ignores JaYo, and lifts Showtime to his feet. Showtime is BLEEDING! Bowski then hits a brain-buster in the middle of the ring! The referee is there for the cover! One......two.....

JaYo jumps up onto the apron! The referee stops the count, and tells JaYo to get down! Bowski goes over - and smacks JaYo right in the mush! JaYo is launched right onto the barricades!

Bowski turns around, and Mr.Showtime is there - he hits the Showtime Split!

Wait - it's countered! And Bal Bowski hits the Russain Leg Sweep - the first move of his World Tour combo! Bowski hits a German suplex! A Japanese arm-drag! An Irish-whip into a Samoan Drop! Bowski's on fire!! Bowski hits a Mexican Suplex Pin! Harris is there to count.....one.....two.....

The referee is pulled out the ring by JaYo!!

The fans are going nuts - this just isn't fair!

Bowski gets up, and looks at JaYo. He then turns around, and Showtime goes for a second Showtime Split Jump-Swinging DDT - he swings round - Bowski grabs his hand, rolls through.....BAL-BREAKER!! Bowski hits the BAL-BREAKER!!!!

Bal makes the cover, but the referee is still on the outside, distracted by JaYo!!

(the crowd chant 'ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!....)

Bowski again stands up, and sticks a middle finger up at JaYo! But hold on! In from the other side of the ring comes Haraga!! He's holding a SPORRAN! Bowski turns around, and walks right into a sporran shot to the head!! Haraga lays Mr.Showtime's hand over Bal Bowski and leaves the ring with the foriegn object. JaYo finally lets the referee into the ring! Bowski is down and out! One......two.....

Bowski kicks out! Bowski kicks out!!

Bal Bowski is now bleeding as well!

Haraga jumps back onto the apron, and Harris sees him. Harris tries to push Haraga off the apron! As he does so, JaYo finds his way back into the ring! Bowski stands up, and JaYo falls on his knees and plants a fist in Bowski's goolies!! A bloody Mr.Showtime gets up, and the boss and JaYo hit Bal Bowski with a Double Whisky!

Showtime has just enough energy to fall on top of a busted open Bowski, and about ten seconds later, the referee realises, turns around, drops to the floor, and counts Bal Bowski's shoulders to the mat for a count of three!!

Foley: "THIS IS THE DAMNDEST SCREW-JOB EVER!!! IT'S NOT FAIR AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE LITTLE BIT DAMMIT!!"

Referee Harris calls for the bell as the crowd noise reaches a riotous level! JaYo and Haraga pull Mr.Showtime out the ring, and drag him towards the top of the entrance. Behind the crimson mask, we see a wry smile on Mr.Showtime's face as he is carried to the back.

* 'BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!' *

WINNER: Mr.Showtime

Bal Bowski slowly comes to, and eventually realises what's just gone down. He wipes a hand across his forehead, and looks at his now bloody hand. He then puts the same hand down his pants, as he realises his balls are killing him. Bowski agonisingly rolls out of the ring, and looks around at the crowd as they applaud him.

Foley: "Bal Bowski has lost his chance of ever getting to the top of SCW, and it's a damn shame!"

The Cat: "I can't believe it myself - but we DID know that the boss was gonna have tricks up his sleeves, and Bowski must have done too."

Foley: "True, true. In any case, it's still wrong the way things went down here. Anyway, we have our main-event up next, where we will finally crown a World Champion here in Showtime City Wrestling. It all began with the tournament, ordered by Sheriff Baz, and it's come down to this. Let's show you how these two got together, for the most important match in SCW so far."

SCW Heavyweight Championship Tournament
----------------
Max Caschera
Squat Rocker.......Squat Rocker
----------------
The Genius..........The Genius..........Squat Rocker
Muzza
----------------
Ghostface
'The Minstrel'.......Ghostface............Ghostface
----------------
Dark Vampire......Shake This
Shake This
----------------

QUARTER-FINALS: "Oh come on!! Max Caschera lays down for his tag partner Squat, and Squat is celebrating like he's won a DIFFICULT match!!"

"Ghostface just shocked 'The Minstrel' with the old hand-shake scam, and after that deadly Inferno match he's still suffering from, I don't blame him one bit! - Ghostface picks up the quick win!"

SEMI-FINALS: "Caschera is milking that neck injury, he just nailed The Genius behind the ref's back, and Squat Rocker has sneaked his way through again - he's in the final round!"

"What a match we just saw! Shake and Ghostface went at it tooth-and-nail, but Ghostface reacted first with the Seance, and he goes through to the final match!"

THE CONTRACT SIGNING: "After this World Title Tournament win, my name will be held in high regard, up there with Keiji Muto and Kenta Kobashi!"

"Kobashi wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, Squat!"

"Ghostface takes the momentum into Hellbound, he and Bowski have downed Showtime and Squat, and what a World Title match we have in store! Both believe they are the better man, which statement will ring true, this weekend, on Pay-Per-View??!"

Announcer Jim Carrey: "It is now time, for the MAINNNN EVENNNNNT!!"

(huge cheers!)

SCW World Heavyweight Championship Tournament Final
Squat Rocker w/Max Caschera vs Ghostface
Referee: Jeremy Beadle

* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against the Machine *

Jim Carrey: "Representing The Council, being accompanied by Max Caschera, he is the joint-top ranking superstar in SCW, and enters this tournament final with two pinfall victories in the previous rounds - This, is SQUAT.....RRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKERRRRRRRR!!!!"

(The crowd shake their fists at The Council, in disgust.)

* THEME TUNE - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

Jim Carrey: "And his opponent, he is the joint-top ranking superstar in SCW, and enters this tournament final with two pinfall victories in the previous rounds, and also holds a tag-team victory over the opposition - this, is GHHHHHOSSSSSTFAAAAAACE!!!!"

(the crowd go nuts for Ghostface! He looks around, climbs into the ring, climbs the ropes and raises an arm to the fans.)

Ghostface and Squat Rocker face-off in the centre of the ring. Jeremy Beadle, the referee, stands between them, holding the SCW World Heavyweight Title.

Referee Beadle: "Squat, Ghosty.....this is what the prize is. This is what it's all about. This is the ultimate goal, and the only thing you should be focusing on.

"....However, I'll also give out £250 to whichever of you does the best fuck-up. Keep that in mind."

Referee Beadle calls for the bell.

Foley: "And here we go! The SCW World Title on the line, and I'm still unsure which way this one could go!"

Squat and ghostface lock-up, and both push each other out of it. They lock-up again, and again they draw a blank. A third lock-up, Squat hammerlocks, Ghostface counters, and takes Squat down to the mat. Squat's shoulders are down, and Squat escapes after two! They get up, Squat walks into a small package, and another two count! Squat attempts a backslide, Ghostface powers out of it, Squat kicks Ghostface in the stomach, tries a DDT - Ghostface, in a flash, counters it into a Northern Lights Suplex Pin! One - two - another close count by referee Beadle on Rocker!

Squat escapes to the outside, and Ghostface follows. Squat scarpers around the ring, and Max Caschera stands in Ghosty's way! Ghostface knocks down Max with a swift right hand! Ghostface chases, and catches Squat, and clotheslines Rocker into the crowd! Ghostface runs at the barricade, jumps up onto it, and launches into Squat with a flying thrust kick! Ghostface picks up Squat and suplexes him onto the cold concrete floor!

Max regains his senses, and goes to climb over the railings - but Jeremy Beadle grabs his shoulder, and points towards the entrance. Beadle is sending Caschera to the locker-rooms!!

Foley: "That's a good call if ever I saw one - I've had enough outside interference for one night!"

Max complains strongly but he cannot do anything about it. He angrily forces himself to walk back down the aisle.

In the crowd, Ghostface throws Squat back over the rail, and whips him into the side of the ring, but Squat counters, and it's Ghostface whose spine cracks against the apron! Squat takes Ghostface onto the apron, and suplexes him onto the top rope! Ghostface can do nothing but hang there in pain as Squat Rocker climbs the turnbuckles and dropkicks Ghostface back into the ring! Squat makes a cover - one - two - kick out by Ghostface!

Squat sits Ghostface up, and aims a swift kick right in the back! He then locks in a surfboard stretch variation. The crowd try to get behind Ghostface, and chant his name while Squat synches the hold on tighter! Ghostface tries to break his arms free, but Rocker keeps planting his knee into the back of Ghostface! Ghostface tries to wriggle forward, and eventually, he places a foot under the bottom rope!

Squat refuses to break the hold! And he drags Ghostface into the centre again. But the momentum helps Ghostface, and he flicks his legs up, twists around, and hooks Squat over onto his back into a pinning combination! One! Two! Squat kicks out!

They both stand up, and Ghostface hits a European Uppercut! A second! And a third! Squat falls back into the corner, and Ghostface monkey-flips Squat back into the centre! Ghostface springboards onto the second rope, and flips over into a legdrop, crushing onto Rocker's throat! Ghostface hooks the leg, One! Two! ....

Squat kicks out! That was close! Ghostface pulls Squat up, whips him into the ropes - Ghosty puts his head down for a back body-drop, Squat kicks him in the face, Squat attempts a clothesline, Ghostface ducks, Squat turns around - Ghostface hits The Seance - NO! It's countered, Rocker hooks the arm - Squat hits the Brick Wall! NO! Ghostface counters, he pushes Rocker into the ropes - but he collides into the referee!

Foley: "Oh no, the referee's out! We need another referee out here!"

Rocker gets up off the referee, turns around, Ghostface hits the Seance! That was devastating! Ghostface has it won! But there's no referee!

The Cat: "Ghostface has the cover - here comes Kriss Akabusi!!"

Kriss Akabusi sprints down, into the ring, and makes the count! One!....Two!....

Squat Rocker kicks out! Rocker kicks out!! Ghostface was a split-second away from being World Champ!

Ghostface picks up Rocker, stares him in the eyes, and hits him...with a version of the Brick Wall!! That's Squat's trademark! Ghostface makes the cover, this is it! One!...Two!!....

Foley: "The referee stops the count!! - Someone just - there's Max Caschera! He just slid the World Title belt into the ring, and Akabusi saw it and stopped the count! What the hell is HE doing back? He must've came in through the crowd!"

Akabusi stands on the apron, shouting at Caschera to get lost. As he does so, Squat gets up, grabs Ghostface from behind, and lands The Brick Wall - ON TO the Title belt!!!

Foley: "NO! No, not like this!!"

Akabusi turns around, he kicks the title belt outside the ring, and counts the pinfall!

Foley: "One!.....Two.....Thre.....NO! NO! A kick-out! Ghostface kicked out!!"

Max Caschera grabs the belt on the outside, and hops onto the apron. Squat drags Ghostface's battered body up, and whips the last of him into the ropes......Ghostface uses the very last sap of energy to reverse it! Squat Rocker clatters into Max Caschera and the Championship belt! Caschera falls off the apron onto the floor!

Foley: "Squat's been knocked for six, he's gonna turn around, Ghostface is THERE!!! YES!! The Seance! The Seance!"

The audience pop big-time!!!

The Cat: "Ghostface collapses onto Squat - He can't even hook the leg!
Foley & The Cat: "ONE......TWO......

".....THREE!!! Ghostface wins! Ghostface wins! GHOSTFACE WINS!!"

Referee Akabusi calls for the bell!

* THEME TUNE - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

(The crowd are going bananas for Ghostface!)

Foley: "My God, Ghostface has DONE IT!!"

Announcer Jim Carrey: "The winner of the match.....

and NEWWWWWW!!!!...WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - GHOSSSSTFAAACEE!!"

Foley: "Ghostface has made HISTORY right here! What a contest!"

Squat rolls out the ring, and he and Caschera quickly retreat to the back. Kriss Akabusi helps up Jeremy Beadle, and they both present Ghostface with the SCW World Heavyweight Championship! They raise his arms, and the crowd give Ghostface a great ovation! Ghostface climbs the turnbuckles, and raises the World Championship belt high above his head.

Foley: "What a night this has been! We have our FIRST World Champion, and you can bet there will be some serious celebrations - this Tuesday on Jinx! tune in on Tuesday, the only place you can see the NEW SCW World Champion - Ghostface! Goodnight everyone!"

The Cat: "OOWWWWWWWyeaaahhh!!"

Quote:

 

Lucozade Sport presents:

Episode seven of SCW Jinx!!!

"OOOOWWWWWW!!!
My MAN, it is GOOD to be BACK!"

"I am Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley, the coolest cat in town, and well, usually you'd have Mick 'The Fat' Foley here at ringside......but the grease-bag is LATE."

"He says that he's caught up in traffic, but I reckon he's still with that Barbie bird....

"Anyways, this is SCW Jinx, and we are coming off a HUGE pay-per-view - Hellbound! Man, there were shocks, surprises, debuts, and, of course, a NEW World Heavyweight Champion, in Ghostface!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Dead Wrong' by Notorious BIG *

The Cat: "Well it looks like we are starting things off with the Gimmick Champion - Ki Crusher! And he has that hot tomata Niff by his side! She destroyed Mikey Richards at Hellbound, and that is why Ki stills has that Gimmick Title on his shoulder!"

Ki Crusher: "Yes - I am STILL the first, and only, Gimmick Champion, and more importantly, YOUR champion!"

The crowd boos Ki Crusher.

"And I think it's only right to introduce you all to my associate, the lovely Niff."

The crowd boos Niff, and follow up with a chant of 'We want puppies! We want puppies!'

Crusher: "SHUT the HELL up, you fat slobs!"

Niff doesn't look happy as they continue to slag her off.

"I defeated Mikey Richards fair and square, in the context of the rules, and so that little twerp won't be bothering me again. I want you fans to stand up and applaud me! I am STILL the first champion you gimps have ever had! (the crowd continues to jeer Ki Crusher.) I survived not only an Inferno Ladder match against the now-World Champion, but I won a Submisions Count Anywhere match too! You people should all be....."

* THEME TUNE - 'Courage' by Alien Ant Farm' *

Mikey Richards appears on the ramp. Behind him is the Gimmick Wheel, which Mikey is pulling onto the stage using his brute strength.

Ki Crusher: "What the hell are you doing??!"

Mikey Richards: "So.....so you won an Inferno Ladder match. Well, you forgot to mention that you SUCKED at Rock Paper Scissors."

The crowd applaud Richards!

"I've just been to see Sheriff Baz, and I've decided to activate the 'Rematch For Any Championship In The Event That The First Match Was Lost Due To The Interference Of A Lady Of The Night' clause in my contract!"

Ki Crusher: "You can't.....you can't do that! There's no such thing!"

Mikey Richards: "I'll think you'll find that my contract DOES have such a clause, and so, beaten and bloodied or not, I'm taking this rematch right NOW! Let's see what little beauty of a stipulation this wheel can offer!"

Mikey Richards spins the huge Gimmick Wheel. As it stops, Mikey's grin grows wider as Ki Crusher's face grows longer.

Mikey Richards: "I don't know if you can see that very well from over there in the ring, so let me clarify for ya - I'm about to take that Gimmick title from you, and I'm gonna do it.......





.......In a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!"

SCW Gimmick Championship - First Blood Match
Ki Crusher (Champion) w/ Niff vs Mikey Richards
Referee: Mini-Me

Ki Crusher looks on in amazement as Mikey Richards storms to the ring. Ki Crusher ushers at Niff to leave the ring - he whispers in her ear, she nods, and leaves the ringside area through the crowd.

Ki Crusher decides to meet Mikey outside the ring by launching himself onto him from the inside - but Mikey sidesteps, and Crusher lands face first on the protective mats! Mikey pummels Ki with lefts and rights, Ki tries to block them! Richards wants to bust open Ki Crusher, and quick! Mikey Richards whips Ki Crusher head-first into the steel steps! He then hip-tosses Ki into the barricades!

Mikey rolls Ki into the ring, but as he enters, Ki capitalises and dropkicks Mikey's legs! Mikey feels it immediately, and clutches his right leg in agony. Ki Crusher hits a couple more dropkicks, then locks in a Ki-Lock! Mikey is struggling! Ki locks in the hold real tight, and after fifteen seconds or so, Mikey Richards is tapping! He's tapping out, but Mini-Me reminds Ki Crusher that he can't win that way!

The Cat: "Ki Crusher has the match won dammit! Give him his title and let him leave the arena!"

Mick Foley appears on the ramp, and makes his way to the announce table.

The Cat: "Aw man, I was hoping he was gonna stay away at least a bit longer!!"

Ki Crusher gets up, and begins to expose one of the turnbuckles.

Foley: "(puts on headset) Hey Dwayne....sorry about the punctuation. What have I missed?"

The Cat: "Well.....uh.....oh yeah, Puro Puro made his debut tonight."

Foley: "Hmm....did he really."

The Cat: "Well........no."

Ki Crusher whips Mikey towards the exposed turnbuckle, but Mikey reverses it, and Ki Crusher cracks back-first into the exposed steel! Mikey mounts Ki Crusher in the corner and begins punching into Ki's forehaed. But after the seventh punch, Ki wriggles free, and powers Mikey down - head-first - into the exposed top turnbuckle! They both then tumble over the top rope! As they do so, a foot kicked out at the referee, and he gets a kick right in the eye!

Foley: "Oh man that's gotta be it right there! Mikey's hurt, but the referee just took a nasty kick to the face."

Mikey and Ki both keep punching and slapping and chopping each other, until they are both leaning against the announcer's table. Mikey gouges Ki's eyes, and drags him onto the table. Mikey pulls up Ki, and kicks him in the stomach. Wait - there's a small trickle of blood coming from Mikey's head! The exposed turnbuckle must have done it! The referee has now shaken off the kick and slides out the ring. Mikey Richards plants a DDT on Ki Crusher, and both men go crashing through the table!

Both men turn onto their backs - they are BOTH busted open!

The referee calls for the bell!

The referee goes to announcer Jim Carrey, and talks in his ear. Carrey nods, and raises the microphone to his mouth.






Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentlemen - both participants have been lacerated during this match. However.....the referee saw that Mikey Richards was bleeding BEFORE the compeititors went through the table - therefore...........

WINNER and STILL Gimmick Champion: Ki Crusher

Foley: "Aw, come on! That's a tough decision, and a controversial one right there! What a shocker! I thought Mikey had the match won, but referee Mini-Me DID see Mikey's busted head as he recovered from the kick. What a match to start off Jinx tonight, and there's a lot more to come! Mikey Richards is going to be disappointed with that one!"




*BACKSTAGE*

We see Shake This entering the arena. He is carrying his bags in one hand, and a copy of Playboy in the other.

The Cat: "There's Shake This! At Hellbound, he beat three other men - The Genius, Haraga and Max Caschera - to become No.1 contender to Ki Crus....."

As Shake This walks into a doorway, the door is slammed right into his face! Shake falls down and clutches his face. the mystery door-slammer walks into view.....

Foley: "God dammit, it's that jezebel Niff!!"

Niff walks through the door, and pushes a wood table down onto Shake's chest. She begins stomping his head as she shouts at him!

Niff: "You PERVERT!! You were GAWKING at me all day long at Hellbound, well I got a news flash for ya - you ain't got NO CHANCE with me, d'ya hear me??! NO CHANCE!! Just like you'll have against Ki Crusher! You ain't getting that title from him, not if I have anything to do with it!!"

Niff lifts up the huge table, and again lets it drop onto Shake's chest area! Shake would scream out in pain but can't breathe!

Foley: "Somebody help the damn boy!"

The Cat: "He needs help!"

Niff wipes her hands of Shake, lets out a maniacal laugh, and walks away. A batch of referees and other officials charge round the other corner, and attempt to aid Shake.

Foley: "He may have punctured a lung right there!! What the hell is her problem?!"




* THEME MUSIC - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

Ghostface, the NEW World Heavyeight Champion, makes his way to the ring. He takes the microphone from Jim Carrey. He waits for the ovation to die down. It takes a while.

Ghostface: "....Thank you! Thank you. (cheers) It feels so GOOD to be the Champ! And as your SCW World Champ, I'd like to honour this championship, and bring prestige to it. I will defend this title against any challenger who earns a shot, unlike Squat Rocker, who I'm sure would have given this title the worst possible start. So I just wanna say to the fans - I will make you all proud to support Showtime City Wrestling!! Again, thank you."

* THEME MUSIC - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against The Machine *

Ghostface (SCW Champion) vs Max Caschera
Referee: Jeremy Beadle

Jim Carrey: "ALLLLLLLL-RIGHEEEE THENNNNNN!! The following non-title match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way down the aisle, representing The Council, this is Max.....Cascherrrrrrrrrraahhhhhh!!!!"

(crowd = 'BOOOOOOO!!!')

A very good match, with plenty of gut-busting moves, and a match which was more fast-paced than expected. Ghostface was clearly riding high after his Championship win, and it showed in this performance. Max put up a brave fight, and had a couple of close two-counts, but he was never in position to hit the Council trademark, the Brick Wall, and from out of nowhere, where it comes from best, the Seance was enough to end the match. Jeremy Beadle had a magnificent match here also.

WINNER: SCW World Champion, Ghostface

Ghostface applauds the fans after the match, raising the World Heavyweight title belt above his head for all the world to see.




* BACKSTAGE *

Mikey Richards is in the physio's room getting treatment. In walks The Genius.

The Genius: "Hey, wee-man....how are ya?"

Mikey Richards: "Yeah - I'm alright, thanks. More disappointed than hurt. That'll be my last chance in a while at getting a championship.....unless of course they start up WCW again."

The Genius: "Your time will come, you know that. But, that's why I'm here. I think I can help you. Has it ever occured to you that the reason you haven't won these title matches, is because you are bland?

Mikey: "You WHAT?!"

The Genius: "Look, you have no distinguishing features whatsoever, your technical ability is poor, strength average, and your appearance......is ugly."

Mikey: "Whoa-whoa-whoa, hold it there......wait a minute - at least I've been in title matches! What exactly are you a genius of, dude? A genius ass-sucker?"

Genius: "OK, ok, ok! Listen, just believe me here....if you got a charisma transplant, changed your look, became a bit more stylish in the ring.....you'd become a sure-fire winner.

"Trust me - I'm a genius."

The Genius turns, and walks out the room.

Mikey: ".....Sure-fire winner.....sure-fire winner.....hmm, that does sound good...."



The owner of SCW, Mr.Showtime, is standing in the ring. He has a huge smile on his face.

Mr.Showtime: "Hello Citizens!! (the crowd jeer the owner.) Thank you!

"At Hellbound, I single-handedly defeated 'Big' Bal Bowski in the middle of THIS ring! Yes I know you all enjoyed it! Unfortunately, I have a feeling tonight that some madness might arise from this amazing victory, so I have set some rules regarding the rest of the show tonight."

"As you all know, this time next week we will be in Bonnie Scotland, for a special edition of Jinx! And of course, I want the Tartan Army to be there. (the crowd boos) So, I have decided, that if Bal Bowski even LOOKS at a member of The Tartan Army......I will SUSPEND him on the spot!!"

The crowd ain't happy about this one little bit!

"I don't care what you people think about it, I know that it's for the best. And this is for the best too - FNS' punishment for tonight. Tonight, FNS, one half of the Tag Team Champions, will take on.....

"......all THREE members of The Tartan Army!!"

The crowd are not pleased.

"And if anyone DARES to aid FNS during the match, I will not hesitate to suspend them also."

"Now, on to something I've been waiting to announce for a long time! In three weeks or so, SCW will present our THIRD pay-per-view! The name of this mighty production will be entitled.....

"....Showtime City ShowDown!"

The Cat: "That's a good name Foley - it's not ripping off any other previous show, and it is a great mark of originality by the boss!"

Foley: "Hmm, I'm not so sure......."

Mr.Showtime: "And, at ShowDown, I have already decided the main event! This main event will be a match which will feature EVERY SINGLE member of our roster, bar two. The two men exempt from this match are.....





".....the SCW World Champion, Ghostface.........

".......and Bal Bowski!!"

The crowd boo their socks off!! A 'Bullshit! Bullshit!' chant erupts.

"Bowski has already proven that he is NOT championship material, and so is excluded from this match. This is because this match will be entitled....

....The Gold Gauntlet!

"And the winner of The Gold Gauntlet will automatically become the next challenger for the SCW World Heavyweight Championship!

The crowd seem excited by this bombshell!

"The way the match works is this. Sometime before the PPV, I will conduct various rounds of Hangman, Naughts & Crosses, Eenie-Meenie-Miny-Moe, penny football and Twister to determine the order of entry. Before the match, the two worst players will begin the match. Every three minutes, a new star will enter. Elimination occurs by being thrown over the top rope and landing on the floor, OR being pinned or made to submit. The remaining man will become the next challenger for the SCW World Title."

* THEME TUNE - 'X.Y.U.' by Smashing Pumpkins *

Foley: "Uh-oh - I think there's someone here who's not happy about this! Here comes Bal Bowski!!"

Bowski angrily stomps down to the ring, as Mr.Showtime slides out the other side and stands next to the announce table. Bowski enters the ring and points at Showtime, and motions for the boss to re-enter the ring.......

* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against The Machine *

The Cat: "What now??! Why is Squat Rocker coming out here??!"

Squat Rocker, microphone in hand, talks as he walks towards, and into, the ring.

Squat Rocker: "As everybody knows, last night I should have been crowned the World Heavyweight Champion (boos). However, due to some abysmal refereeing, I was CHEATED out of victory! As far as I'm concerned, I won that match, and the tournament, and therefore you can now mention my name in the same breath as the likes of Keiji Muto. (more boos.) Mr.Showtime, I shouldn't have to go through some gauntlet match to get a return title shot. I was cheated - you know it, I know it, the fans know it (boos!) and (Rocker steps into the ring), this guy here, Bal Bowski, knows it."

* THEME TUNE 'Elevation' by U2 *

The Cat: "What the.....here comes the Sheriff!!"

Sheriff Baz appears on the ramp. Squat, Bowski and Showtime turn to face him. Showtime is still standing outside the ring.

Sheriff Baz: "Squat Rocker, I don't know if I agree with you saying you were cheated at Hellbound, but if you were....well, that only makes up for you cheating in the semi-finals. What goes around, comes around Squat."

"In a way, I agree that maybe you should get a second chance. But I need to say the real reason why I'm out here."

"Mr.Showtime - I don't mind an owner bending the rules a little, after all, it makes for entertaining viewing. However, there is a difference between bending the rules and abusing the rules. Because of your pure hatred for Bal Bowski, you seem to have lost your fairness. I am here to be the level-head that this promotion needs."

"And I believe that Bal Bowski DOES deserve a chance to compete in the Gold Gauntlet!"

The audience roar in approval!

"So tonight, I propose a match. It's going to be Squat Rocker......versus Bal Bowski! And if Mr.Bowski is victorious, he will be entered into the Gold Gauntlet!"

"Oh and by the way, Showtime - if you, or anybody else for that matter, interferes - I will be on the phone to the Board of Directors quicker than a Ronnie O' Sullivan 147."

* THEME TUNE 'Elevation' by U2 *

Foley: "The Sheriff has spoken! Squat, and especially Mr.Showtime, can't believe the match-up made right here - Bowski vs Rocker, and if 'Big' Bal wins, he goes through to the Gold Gauntlet!"

The Cat: "That's funny - The Sheriff does look a bit like 'The Rocket', doesn't he?......"



* BACKSTAGE *

The Tartan Army - JaYo, Muzza and Haraga - are about to come through the curtain for their match.

Haraga: "Hey man, are you sure you're up for this? That Shooting Star Tombstone you took was nasty."

Muzza: "Yeah, it's not too bad, my neck hurting, but we're in a three-on-one, it's no problem. Besides, we need to show a united front before we go back home next week."

JaYo: "Aw man I cannae wait! We are gonnae show these punks what we're here for. Showtime City's great and all, but the rest of the guys won't have a clue how to react when they hear the Glasweigan fans! And I can't wait to see our mates again."

Haraga: "That's true - we are gonna rule SCW next week, without a doubt!"







Foley: "They could be right folks, next tuesday we will be presenting SCW Jinx LIVE from the SECC in Glasgow, Scotland! Don't miss it!




FNS (one-half of the Tag Team Champions) vs JaYo, Muzza and Haraga
Referee: Kriss Akabusi

FNS is already in the ring, on his lonesome.

* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

JaYo, Haraga and Muzza enter the ring. Muzza is holding his neck, but tries to shake off the pain. FNS looks anxious, but vows to try his hardest.

Maybe if Jeremy Beadle were officiating this one, we'd have had a contest. The softer Kriss Akabusi let control of this one go early on. FNS took on each of them one-on-one, and was performing admirably. However, once he hit the Tilt-A-Squirrel Backbreaker on JaYo, the Army realised that FNS has a lot of heart, and they break up the pin. Muzza then distracts the referee at the apron as JaYo and Haraga go to work, battering the Tag Team Champion with double-team moves galore! FNS refuses to lay down however, and kicks out after two by Haraga!

FNS gets up, and gets a second gust of energy. He lays out all three with punches, and goes to hit Muzza with a piledriver! This'll finish off Muzza's neck for sure! But JaYo and Haraga stop it from happening, and attack FNS from behind. Muzza again pulls the referee to the corner, and JaYo and Haraga hit the Double Whisky on FNS!

JaYo rolls to the outside, and Haraga tags in Muzza. The injured Army member casually walks to the centre of the ring, lays against FNS, and Akabusi counts one, two......three!

WINNERS: The Tartan Army

As soon as the bell rings, the three Scots continue to stomp on FNS.

Foley: "Oh COME ON! The Army are continuing to beat down FNS!"

They pick him up - looks like they are going to give FNS the deadly TRIPLE Whisky!

The Cat: "Yeah, but.....here comes Exgenesys!!! Here comes some back-up!"

ExGen storms the ring, and attempts to lay out the Army. However, three-on-two still favours the Tartan Army, and they overpower both the Tag Champions!



* THEME MUSIC - 'Make Noise' by Busta Rhymes *

Foley: "Wait a minute - here comes FIREWORK!!"

Firework sprints down to the ring, and knocks down Muzza! He knocks down Haraga! A back-body-drop to JaYo! Muzza charges, and Firework sidesteps and throws him over the top rope! He dropkicks JaYo out the ring! FNS and ExGen get up, and double clothesline Haraga to the outside!

The Cat: "Well, I don't know why Firework came out the help the Tag Champs, but I'm damn sure they won't complain!"

Firework and ExGen check up on FNS, and the tag champions acknowledge Firework's assistance.




Foley: "Well the champs are lucky, it doesn't look like the Tartan Army have finished punishing FNS just yet! He's gonna have to watch his back next week, in Bonnie Scotland, home of the Army!"

"It's now time for the main event, it's gonna be a........."

The camera cuts to the ShowReel big screen, where a video package begins to play.



We see a sports hall, with a wrestling ring in the centre. Two young adults are training in the ring. There is another man giving directions while leaning on the apron. All of a sudden, the camera pans to the side, where a smartly-dresses man stands. He is right infront of the camera.

".......Adrian Street. A name that many of you fans, and indeed, many of the SCW roster members, will not be familiar with. And that is a real shame. This man was a true showman of wrestling. He had a very successful and colourful career. Famed for his outrageous appearance, he was actually a great wrestler, who won many titles, including the CWF European Middleweight and CWF Heavyweight Championships.

"The pure fact that many of you do not know who he is smacks of downright IGNORANCE. Without performers like Adrian Street, wrestling would not be what it is today. Now, I cannot blame you for not being around in his prime - after all, you cannot choose when you enter this godforsaken world - but to not even research the very industry you support, and even work in, is nothing but blasphemous.

"That is where I come in. By the time I am finished with the "stars" of Showtime City Wrestling, they will respect this business, and its' history.

"Whether you like it......or not."



Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, the special guest colour commentator for this match - STYLES CLASH!!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Deeper Underground' by Jamiroquai *

Foley: "Well, this is a nice surprise - Styles Clash is going to join me and The Cat at the commentary table!"

The Cat: "Wow, I wonder whose idea this was?!"

Styles Clash reaches the desk, and puts on a set of headphones. He sits next to Mick Foley, Foley and The Cat offer to shake hands but Styles Clash refuses!

* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against The Machine *

Squat Rocker makes his way to the ring. He is without his partner Max Caschera.

Foley: "Uh, Jay Roberts, it's good to have you here - you must have a lot on your......"

Styles Clash: "Just shut up until the match starts. THEN I'll talk."

Foley: "Uh......ok, Sir."

* THEME TUNE - 'X.Y.U.' by Smashing Pumpkins *

No Interference Match
Squat Rocker vs 'Big' Bal Bowski
Referee: Rolf Harris

Bal Bowski enters the ringside area. Styles Clash never took his eyes of Squat, but as soon as Bowski entered, Styles Clash focused his attention on him. He doesn't say a word as he stares at Bal Bowski, as he enters the ring.

The match begins. Squat and bowski go at it, both hitting some stiff offence. After a while, the smash-mouth style of both men slows as they tire, and there are a lot of rest holds. Bowski knows he has to win this one, but Squat seems to have a little more technical ability, and he counters many of Bowski's holds into holds of his own.

Styles Clash: "I'm ready to talk now. You know, I'm here to prove a point in SCW. I'm here to prove that pure wrestling talent will win through in the end. You see, I look at these two guys in the ring, and I can clearly see which is the better man. Squat Rocker has countered everything thrown at him. Now, THAT makes a good wrestler. What DOESN'T make a good wrestler are catchphrases, fan bias, cool t-shirts, and funky signature moves."

Foley: "I.....I don't quite know what you're getting at, Jason."

Styles Clash: "Look. I base wrestling success on being able to entertain the fans without having to fling yourself off 15-foot high cages. I base wrestling success on being able to entertain the fans without resorting to cheap pops. I base wrestling success on being able to entertain the fans without having to stick filthy foriegn objects down people's gobs to win matches. And I BASE WRESTLING SUCCESS on being able to feel healthy, and LOOK healthy, when I retire."

The Cat: "What a minute, are you aiming this at Foley?"

Foley: "What's your game, Roberts?"

Styles Clash: "Ok, I'll admit it. Foley, I think you SUCKED as a wrestler. I think you SUCKED as an entertainer, and you still do, and I think you are very overrated, and as far as I'm concerned, you should be known as nothing more than a glorified STUNTMAN."

Styles Clash takes off the headset and throws it into Foley's lap. He walks away.

The Cat: ".......I wouldn't listen to that guy, Mick - it's probably just his time of the month......"

Foley: "I'll say....."

Bowski begins to build momentum, and knocks Squat off the ropes. Squat ducks a clothesline, and attmepts one of his own. Bowski ducks that, and connects with a Russian Leg-Sweep! He then hits an irish-whip into a Samoan Drop! Then a Mexican suplex! And a Japanese Arm-Drag! And follows that up with a new continental move - the Bulgarian Brainbuster!

Foley: "A new stop on Bowski's World Tour - I like it!"

Squat is on the ropes, but the World Tour combo only gets a two count! Bowski picks up Squat, and attempts a body-slam. Rocker wriggles out of it, and is in position for a back body-drop. Bowski rides the momemtum and flips over onto his feet. Bowski tries a back-drop of his own - and Rocker lands on his feet! He pushes Bowski into the ropes, but Bowski counters! Squat comes back off the ropes, Bal tries a big boot - Rocker ducks under it, turns around, Bowski turns to face him, goes to kick Squat in the stomach, and Squat catches the foot! Squat swings round Bowski, and hits the Brick Wall - NO! Bowski counters, flips Rocker off the ropes - a Bowski big boot is again avoided! They turn to face each other, Squat now goes to kick Bowski - Bowski catches! Swings Squat Rocker right around......

Foley: "BOOM!! The Bal-Breaker! The Bal-Breaker connects!"

The referee is there to count! ONE......TWO......


THREE!! Referee Rolf Harris calls for the bell!

WINNER: Bal Bowski

Foley: "Bowski wins! Bowski wins! Fair and square, no doubt about it, and the boss is NOT going to be happy about this! Sheriff Baz has helped throw a spanner in his works, and Bal Bowski is now entered into the Gold Gauntlet - to take place at ShowDown! Bowski's dream of a title shot has come back to life!"

Squat Rocker rolls out the ring, shocked at the swift way he lost the battle. Bal Bowski climbs the ropes and salutes the fans - he is ecstatic!

Foley: "What a way to end Jinx - that was a counter-fest-and-a-half! Don't forget to join us next week - Glasgow watch out, SCW is invading! Thank you and goodnight!"

The Cat: "Och aye the NOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!"

Quote:

 

RE-CAP:

Last week on Jinx, Ki Crusher retained his Gimmick Championship in a First Blood match. Afterwards, The Genius had some words of advice for Mikey Richards.

The Gimmick No.1 contender, Shake This, was destroyed in a backstage sneak attack by newcomer Niff.

Ghostface defeated Max Caschera in a non-title match.

The Tartan Army were taking care of FNS and ExGen, until Firework appeared, to help out the Tag Champs.

And, Mr.Showtime banned Bal Bowski from getting his hands on the Army, before announcing that Bowski was not eligible for the Gold Gauntlet at the next PPV, ShowDown. However, Sheriff Baz gave 'Big' Bal a reprieve, and Bowski swept aside Squat Rocker in a heated battle to earn a place in the No.1 contender Gauntlet!

Irn-Bru presents:



Showtime City Wrestling: Jinx!!



Mick Foley: "Welcome to Jinx! And a very special episode of Jinx at that - we are broadcasting LIVE from the SECC in Glasgow, Scotland! The arena is jam-packed, and the fans are in an extra-special patriotic mood - because today is St.Andrews' Day!

"I'm McFoley, and as always, I'm alongside Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley!"

The Cat: "OOWWWWWW!!! Yeah, I'm loving being here in Glasgow! I've seen two stabbings in the street already!! Although, I'm disappointed at the lack of hot tomatas."

McFoley: "Tell me about it. I was gonna bring Colette, but I fear for her safety in these parts.

"Still, what an action-packed evening we are gonna have! Tonight -

Ghostface and Bal Bowski take on The Council!

And in a huge six-man tag, The Tartan Army go up against ExGen, FNS and Firework!

McFoley: "I was also told earlier today that, just like last week, Bal Bowski has been ordered not to even look at any members of The Tartan Army! If he does so, he will be suspended on the spot! I don't think that's fair, and it's just gonna raise Bal's anger more after the HellBound screw-job, but I suppose, Mr.Showtime is just trying to look after talent."




* THEME TUNE - 'Deeper Underground' by Jamiroquai *

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentlemen - STYLES CLASH!"

McFoley: "Here comes a new face - Styles Clash - a young man who I'm not particularly happy with."

The Cat: "Yeah, he sure ripped into you last week when he was commentating with us!"

McFoley: "That's true. I don't know why he was talking to me like that, but let's hope that's over with."

Styles Clash takes the microphone from Jim Carrey.

Styles Clash: "Hello to all my fans in this great capital city!!"

The crowd boo Styles Clash.

"Oh yes, I forget - the capital city is Edinburgh, isn't it?

"Anyway, I am here to announce that I, Jason 'Styles Clash' Roberts, have been entered into The Gold Gauntlet at the ShowDown Pay-Per-View! I am going to eliminate anyone in my way, and I will quickly be on top in SCW once I get my title shot against Ghostface, and ultimately beat him to become SCW World Champion!!"

The Cat: "Well, you can't accuse him of lacking ambition, Mick."

Styles Clash: "And I will do this the PROPER way, using WRESTLING methods. I won't crazy bump my way to the top, or make people munch on socks to get a cheap pop, I intend to do this the right way. If there's only one thing I can't stand, it's untalented wrestlers getting to the top. People like Mick Foley."

McFoley: "Oh, here we go again. What's his problem?!"

Styles Clash: "And I know you fans agree with me - let's face it, Foley was CRAP in the ring."

The crowd begin chanting 'Foley! Foley! Foley!'

"You people know where all the talent comes from. That's right, CANADA! Bret Hart, he was better than Foley. Hell, even Test was better in the ring than Foley! And I know for a fact that I am BETTER than Mick Foley!"




* THEME MUSIC - 'My Way' by Limp Bizkit *

Making his way to the ring is The Genius.

The Cat: "Looks like you've got someone to defend you here Mick!"

The Genius: "Jay, you may have a point about the best wrestlers coming from Canada. But, I refuse to believe that YOU are better than Mick Foley, or anybody, until you prove it, in an SCW ring!"

Styles Clash: "What the.....are you implying that YOU could beat ME?! Puh-lease!"

The Genius: "You are all talk, Styles Clash. You say you're better than Foley, yet you've been here like a week. Grow up, man......




* THEME TUNE - 'Dude Love' *

McFoley: "Hang on a......"

The Cat: "Ha ha ha - who is THAT?!"

A man is strutting down the aisle, arm in arm with two young beauties in very short tartan skirts, and not much else. The man is dressed up as Dude Love.

McFoley: "That's MIKEY RICHARDS......as ME??!!"

The Cat: "Yeah. But he's still got both ears, Mick."

Dude Richards makes his way into the ring.

The Genius: ".....what the hell are you doing?"

Dude Richards: "Owwww Styles Clash! You can't go dissing Mick Foley - he's a legend with more intestinal fortitude than all Canadians put together, yeah!"

Styles Clash: "What the - you listen here, I'm gonna kick your....."

Dude Richards: "Whoa man - not if I kick yours first - Lord have mercyyyyy!"

Dude Richards knocks down Styles Clash, and begins battering him!

McFoley: "This is surreal...."

Referee Mini-Me runs in, and tries to split them up. He cannot, so decides to just go through with a match. He urges The Genius to ringside, and calls for the bell!

The Cat: "We've got ourselves a match right here!"

Mikey 'Dude Love' Richards w/ The Genius vs Styles Clash
Referee: Mini-Me

Mikey stops the beating and stands up. He rips off the head-band he was wearing, and waits for Styles Clash to get up. Clothesline by Richards! Styles Clash gets up again - and Mikey hooks up for a Double-Arm DDT! BOOM - he hits it!

One - two -kickout! Kickout!

Mikey gets up, and......

The Cat: "Good God no - he's pulling a SOCK out of his pants!"

McFoley: "Something tells me Styles Clash isn't gonna like this...."

Styles Clash begins to get up, but sees the sock being put onto Mikey's hand. He pushes referee Mini-Me towards Mikey, and they collide. Mikey pushes him away, as he walks right into Styles Clash - but Mikey reacts first, and stuffs the sock down the throat of Styles Clash!

The fans are going bananas!

But it doesn't last - the referee is still shaking off the collision when Styles Clash lifts his knee into Mikey's groin area!!

The Cat: "Owww, have mercy on his nuts!"

Styles Clash releases the sock from his mouth, and plants a dazed Mikey Richards with a Styles Slam!! Mikey is out, and Mini-Me is there as Clash covers! One, two, three.
WINNER: Styles Clash

McFoley: "Well, Styles Clash wanted out of that one as quick as possible....I still don't think he's shown that he can win The Gold Gauntlet at ShowDown, but I guess only time will tell."

Mikey Richards is staring at Mini-Me. He doesn't seem happy with the officiating.

The Cat: "Mikey and The Genius look disappointed in the ring there - Mikey has ripped off his Dude Love t-shirt. Maybe he doesn't worship you anymore, Mick."

McFoley: "It was a nice gesture, but I think The Genius' words for him last week were taken the wrong way. Mikey Richards sure doesn't need to parody anyone to become a star here. As far as I'm concerned, he already is a star.....



The camera quickly switches from the ring, to backstage. The cameraman is running down a corridor and into a locker room.

McFoley: "I don't......what's going on?"

The camerman stops as he enters the locker room. You can hear him panting. His camera looks around, then finally pans down to the ground. There is a man lying on his stomach, not moving.

The Cat: "That's.....that's FIREWORK! What the hell has happened?!"

The camera pans back again. Next to Firework is a set of bagpipes. The crowd gasp, then start cheering!

McFoley: "Either someone didn't like Firework's musical abilty, or that's an obvious calling card right there!"

The Cat: "Well.....what's gonna happen with the six-man tag tonight then?"

McFoley: "That's a good question...."





The camera again switches, and we are now in another dressing-room. We then see Niff reading the Daily Record. She looks up, to see someone out of shot.

Niff: "What the hell are YOU doing here?!"

Niff stands up and drops the newspaper. She goes toe-to-toe with the mystery person.

The Cat: "Hey! That's the girlfriend of FNS! It's Kimberly!!"

Kimberly: "I was going to ask you the same thing, Niff."

Niff: "I happen to be pay-rolled in this company, girl. You are a tag-along. There's only room for one true diva in SCW, Kim."

Kimberly: "I know, that's why I am here.....there IS room for only one diva - but I didn't know there was ANY room, for sluts. Sluts like YOU."

Niff: "You BITCH!"

Niff slaps Kimberly in the face!

Kimberly punches Niff and knocks her to the ground!

The Cat: "CAT-FIGHT!! CAT-FIGHT!! YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!"

Kimberly and Niff begin rolling on top of each other, pulling hair and slapping faces!

The Cat: "Whoo-hooooo!!! Owwwww!!"

McFoley: "God, does every colour commentator have to be like Lawler....."

SECC officials enter the room and pull the girls apart, kicking and screaming. Niff can be heard yelling 'Power Rangers suck!' as she is dragged out of the room.



* THEME TUNE - 'Dead Wrong' by Notorious B.I.G. *

The SCW Gimmick Champion, Ki Crusher, is in the ring.

Ki Crusher: "Last week, I was forced into defending my Gimmick championship against Mikey Richards, and again, I defeated him. In a first blood match, no less. So as far as I'm concerned, he doesn't deserve another shot at me - EVER."

"He's like the Scotland football team.....just pure RUBBISH."

The crowd give Ki Crusher pelters!

"And now, I hear that Shake This is the No.1 contender for my title.....but wait! Oh! He was attacked last week! And I hear that he couldn't even make it out of his hospital bed to fly over to Glasgow here for this show. That's a shame. Of course, I had nothing to do with what happened to him.....but all the same, I no longer have a challenger for my championship. And as far as I'm concerned, that's fine by me.

"So I'm just gonna say goodnight to you all, walk back down this aisle, get my bags, and leav......."

* THEME TUNE - 'No One Knows' by Queens Of The Stone Age *

McFoley: "Well, business has picked up right here! Here comes the SCW OWNER!!"

Mr.Showtime makes his way into the ring, and takes a microphone from Jim Carrey.

Mr.Showtime: "Before I address you, Ki Crusher, I have an announcement to make. The main event tonight was scheduled to be a six-man tag match. However, I've received word that Firework is unable to compete. Therefore, I have no option but to change the main event - to a regular tag-team match.

"In the main event tonight, FNS and Exgenesys will take on.......

.....JaYo and Muzza of The Tartan Army!!"

The crowd go wild!

McFoley: "Wow, a rematch from HellBound!"

Mr.Showtime: "Oh, and by the way - ExGen and FNS.....your Tag Team Championship will be on the line!"

McFoley: "Wow! What a bombshell! A Tag title match here tonight on Jinx!

The Cat: "That's true, but it seems a bit fishy to me. I reckon this match was the plan all along...."



Mr.Showtime: "Now. Mr.Crusher. I've been meaning to talk to you. You are doing a great job as Gimmick Champion. I've been impressed. You have to defend your title in all manner of matches, and you seem to be up to the task of defending that title whenever and wherever neccesary.

"Now, Shake This IS the No.1 contender, and so when he returns, he automatically gets a title shot. He is not as badly injured as you think Ki. In fact, the reason he isn't here is NOT because he is in hospital, but because I gave him the night off to fully recover. Plus, I have other plans for that Gimmick Championship of yours."

Ki Crusher: "I just told everyone, I'm going back to the hote......"

Mr.Showtime: "I don't think you understand me Ki. Just because the No.1 contender is not here, doesn't mean I can't give a title shot to someone else, right here - right now!"

The crowd cheer the owner!

Mr.Showtime: "Look to the ShowReel, Ki Crusher. This took place earlier today."

The ShowReel big screen shows a close up of the Gimmick Wheel. A hand reaches over and pulls the wheel, and it takes 30 seconds or so to roll to a stop.

Ki Crusher: "You can't do this to me! I just defended the title last week AND at the pay-per-view!......."

The Gimmick Wheel finally stops. The audience let out a roar of applause as the result of the Wheel is shown: A Glasgow Streetfight!!





The camera zooms out. The man spinning the wheel is......


.......HARAGA!!

The crowd applaud hometown hero Haraga as he points a finger down the screen, at Ki Crusher!

Haraga: "......See you oot there, wee man!"

Haraga takes a swig out of a bottle of Whyte & Mackay, wipes his brow, then walks off camera. The crowd anticipation heightens as Ki Crusher looks terrified in the ring! Mr.Showtime leaves the ring.

* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

Ki Crusher leaves the ring, and begins pulling objects out from under the ring, and throwing them inside. Trash cans, lids, sign-posts.....

SCW Gimmick Championship - Glasgow Streetfight
Ki Crusher (Champion) vs Haraga
Referee: Ronan Keating

First five minutes: Crusher waits in the ring, holding a cricket bat, but Haraga comes from the crowd, and attacks Ki Crusher from behind with a Scots Suplex! The fight quickly spills to the outside, and Haraga and Ki use every weapon in sight to batter the other man with. Ki Crusher is whipped into the steel steps, and Haraga pulls a traffic cone from out under the ring, and chucks it right off Ki's skull! Haraga then hits Ki with a Glasgow Kiss!!

Next five minutes: Back in the ring, and a Haraga bodyslam attempt is countered, and Ki hits a DDT on Haraga. The only thing Ki can find under the ring is a leather football. He enters the ring with it, and chucks that towards Haraga's face!

But, Haraga catches it quickly, drops it infront of him, and BAMM!! He kicks the ball right into Ki Crusher's face!!!

McFoley: "What a shot!! I believe in these circles, that is called a Goram Goal-Kick. And because of it, Ki Crusher is bleeding from the nose!"

Finale: The two men leave the ring yet again, and begin fighting down the ramp, and towards the backstage area. They end up in many corridors and rooms, and just generally wear each other out by knocking heads into walls and other appliances needlessly left about the arena.

Ki Crusher pulls Haraga into a dressing-room, and pulls a chair out. He folds it up, and gets ready to swing. However, as Haraga gets up, he pulls a lead pipe out from his boot! He gets up, Ki swings the chair, Haraga swings the pipe the other way, and CRACK!! They both smash each other's heads in with the two weapons!!

Ki Crusher and Haraga lay motionless on the cold hard floor. Referee Keating doesn't know what do to.

All of a sudden, someone walks into the room. It's Niff!

Niff: "What the hell is going on??!.....Wait a minute. Is this a MATCH?"

Ronan Keating: "To be sure lass - it just doesn't seem like one at the moment."

Niff: "(laughs) Haha Ronan, let me help you out here...."

Niff kneels down, and places Ki Crusher's left arm over the chest of Haraga.

"Problem solved, ref."

Ronan Keating kneels down, and, confusingly, counts one, two.....three.

Ronan Keating: "The winner....Ki Crusher."

WINNER and STILL Gimmick Champion: Ki Crusher

Niff laughs in amusement as the SECC fans boo her out the building.

* BACKSTAGE *

We are in the Tartan Army locker room. Inside the room are JaYo, Muzza, and a few other people we haven't seen before. We do recognise, however, CMA and Haggis Vendor, along with other Scottish forum members. There is a table in the middle of the room, with an assortment of food and drink on it. A few of the guys are playing a PS2, while the rest just finished watching the Gimmick title match. Franz Ferdinand is on in the background.

JaYo: "That Niff needs a good kick in the heed, she does!"

Muzza: "Tell me about it - Showtime should have let us out there too...but I suppose we cannae complain, now we have a return tag title match. Haraga will be thrilled with that at least."

Haggis Vendor: "There's no way you guys won't walk out of here without them belts.....the current champs are about as macho as marshmallows."

JaYo: "Yeah, compared to us, they are nothing. Muzza's recovered well from that frickin' Shooting Star Tombstone, and we still need to teach FNS a damn lesson for using a banned move. Beating him in a three-on-one last week is not enough."

CMA: "Well, at least we took out that Firework guy....well, more specifically, I did. God, what a weakling!"

Muzza: "Yeah.....hey, who had the bagpipes last?"

CMA: "I did. Cannae mind where I left them, though...."



The camera cuts to the locker-room of the Tag Team champs, FNS and ExGen. They are watching a monitor showing the Tartan Army antics.

FNS: "Dammit! You can tell Firework hasn't been here long, he obviously didn't see it coming."

ExGen: "I know. Now we have to put the Tag Titles on the line again. I know we can win this thing, and the fans out there can get stuffed as far as I'm concerned....(the crowd boos!)......Where's Kimberly? I told you she shouldn't have come along with us. Women are nothing but trouble."

FNS: "I dunno, just don't worry about her. She can look after herself. Well, we don't have time to sympathize with Firework. We'll talk to him next week. We can do this, ExGen, if we just stay focused.

"We're gonna make everyone in this arena choke on their own black puddings."




McFoley: "Well coming up next - a huge tag-team contest! The SCW World Champion is HERE in Glas......."

The ShowReel big screen begins to play a video package.

We see a shot of what looks to be The Royal Mile of Edinburgh, the road bristling with tourists. The main building we see is a shop which sells kilts, shirts, swords and other symbols of Scottish history. A smartly-dressed man, the same man who appeared on a video package last week, walks into view and stares down the camera.

".......Rowdy Roddy Piper.

(the SECC cheers the name!)

"Scots all over the planet should be aware of this man. At his peak, he was the epitomy of Scotland - brave, charismatic, humourus - a great brawler, performed some amazingly passionate interviews, yet generally failed when it mattered most. However, Roddy Piper was still a very successful character, and the man behind it captured many titles, including the NWA TV Title, WCW United States Title, and the WWF Intercontinental Championship - when that title still actually MEANT something.

"Nevertheless, I'm willing to bet that the majority of "fans" in that excuse of an arena, the SECC....(jeers).....don't even know, haven't even RESEARCHED the fact that Roddy Piper isn't from Scotland at all. I know, I know, it's like telling a small child that Santa Claus does not exist."

(A 13-year old girl overhears this. Naturally, she is pushing a pram.)

"Hey YOU!! You shut yer face pal! Sunty does exist, an' if ye speak shite like 'at again, I'll stick a' heed on ya - GOT IT??!"

(The girl storms off.)

"......As I was saying. People who support this industry, yet don't bother to find out anything about it, or respect it, are insulting. And I'm not just talking about the fans - I am also talking about these SCW "stars" as well. When the time is right, I will demonstrate how important it is to respect your elders, your past - and general wrestling history.

"Whether you like it, or not."




McFoley: "I'm not sure who this guy is, but he seems to have some kind of chip on his shoulder."

* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against The Machine *

The Council - Max Caschera and Squat Rocker, walk down to the ring. They look serious. Squat is walking slightly ahead of Caschera.

* THEME TUNE - 'X.Y.U.' by Smashing Pumpkins *

The crowd go nuts for 'Big' Bal Bowski!

McFoley: "He is entered in The Gold Gauntlet for No.1 contendership - but tonight, he's teaming with the champ!"

THEME TUNE - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

The first SCW World Champion, Ghostface, joins Bal Bowski outside the ring. They both enter, and The Council scurry to the outside! Bowski and Ghostface raise their arms to the Glasgow faithful.

The Council vs 'Big' Bal Bowski and Ghostface
Referee: Jeremy Beadle

First ten minutes: Your standard tag-team match, with Max and Squat using their power, and Bowski and Ghostface using a more technical/smash-mouth style. Squat gets upset everytime Ghostface shouts 'whooooooo's the champ?!' in his face.

Next five minutes: The match erupts into a tornado-style tag, as Bowski and Squat face off in one corner, and Ghostface clashes with Caschera in the opposite corner. Squat escapes to the outside, and the two opponents concentrate on attacking Caschera. Rocker, on the outside, takes Ghostface's championship belt, and starts to walk off with it!

Finale: Ghostface spots Squat walking off, and chases him down. Inside the ring, Max gouges Bowski in the eyes, then hits an Irish whip. Bowski ducks the side-kick, waits for Caschera to turn around, and WHAMM!! There it is - a Bal-Breaker by Bal Bowski!!

Ghostface catches up with Squat on the ramp, and turns him around. Squat thrusts the title belt into Ghostfaces' face, but the champ avoids it, grabs the title belt, and knocks Squat down with the strap!

Bal Bowski makes the cover in the ring!

The ref calls for the bell!

Announcer Jim Carrey: "(listens to the ear-piece) Oh. Ok. Ahem.

"ALLLLLLLLLRIIIIIGHTEEEEEEE THENNNNNNN!! Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the mtach, as a result of a disqualification.......Max Caschera and Squat Rockerrrrrrrrrr!"

McFoley: "Aw man! The referee had been watching the fracas on the outside instead of what was going on IN the ring!"

The Cat: "Well I think Ghostface and Squat were the legal men, so it's a good call."

McFoley: "I don't think that's right at all...."

WINNERS by disqualification: Squat Rocker and Max Caschera

Ghostface runs back into the ring. Max rolls out, and joins Squat Rocker on the ramp.

Ghostface: "You pair of jack-asses! You ain't getting away with your crap anymore! I want you both back in here, RIGHT NOW!!"

The audience cheer Ghostface, they want it too!

Max Caschera: "Hey Ghostface - I ain't going back in that ring, until you put that World Championship on the line!"

Squat Rocker: "Max! What the hell??! Wait - I'M the World Title contender in this tag team! I still deserve a rematch and if the 'champ' is putting his belt on the line against anybody, then it's ME!!"

Ghostface: "Listen, you two gimp-faces.......I'd be happy to take you BOTH on!!"

Squat Rocker: "That's fine by me!!"

Bal Bowski doesn't look convinced by this.

* THEME TUNE - 'Elevation' by U2 *

The SCW Sheriff, Baz, appears on the ramp, next to The Council.

Sheriff Baz: "Calm down lads. You've just had a heated battle, and I have everybody's interests to take care of.

"But, I think I've come up with a way for everybody to get what they want.

"In a matter of weeks, SCW presents ShowDown. And of course, we have our main event - The Gold Gauntlet. However, there is nothing stopping me from adding a SECOND main event!

"Ghostface - at SCW ShowDown, you will be putting your World Heavyweight Championship on the line, against BOTH Max Caschera, and Squat Rocker.....in a Triple-Threat Match!!"

The fans applaud the decision! Squat and Max have puzzled looks on their faces, but Ghostface seems to be happy with the match made.

"And not only that - the man who walks away the winner will be the World Champion, yes. But the two men who fail to win will then go on to The Gold Gauntlet, so the losers of the match will still be getting yet another chance to become the next challenger.

"And if anyone is STILL unhappy, then they can see me in my office after the show, where I will be happy to snap a snooker cue over their heads. Repeatedly."

McFoley: "Well that's a huge match for ShowDown right there - and I gotta believe that already, Ghostface's title is in danger - he's taking on a tag team in a triple-threat match!"


* BACKSTAGE *

"Hello."

The crowd begin chanting 'We hate Jimmy Hill, he's a poof, he's a poof'.

Jimmy Hill: "Jimmy Hill here. I am in......(gulp), Scotland, for the first time in many moons, and I'm looking for the man who retained his Gimmick Title just earli......."

In the distance, someone can be heard shouting 'HEY - YOOOOUUU!!' The camera turns from Jimmy Hill, and about 25 feet away are a group of people. One of them is pointing at Mr.Hill. As they walk closer, we can see that it is The Tartan Army. All of them. Jimmy Hill screeches like a girl. Haraga is holding his head as he approaches.

Haraga: "Muzza - grab him!"

Muzza jumps in front of the rest of the guys, and grabs Jimmy Hill by the collar.

JaYo: "Well look who it is......how did ye get this job man? Yer no Lord Alfred Hayes, that's fer sure. An' he wiz a poof an 'all!"

Jimmy Hill: "Please.....please don't...."

Muzza cracks a palm across Hill's head.

Haraga: "See YOU Jimmy??! Yer nuthin' but a wee SHITE, you know that?! Well come on, ask your wee questions. What do you wanna know, huh?"

Jimmy Hill: ".....well.....I.....you did very well in your match.....earlier."

Haraga: "You know what? .......I cannae STAND sarcastic PRICKS! You know what to do lads."

Haraga walks off. Muzza pushes Jimmy Hill to the ground, and the rest of The Tartan Army begin stomping a mud-hole in his ass!

CMA: "A toe-poke, huh?! A TOE-POKE?! I'll show YOU what a friggin' TOE POKE is, ye coffin-dodging bastard!!"

The fans are wetting themselves with laughter.

McFoley: "Anywhere else on the planet, and this would be described as disgusting behaviour. Welcome to Scotland, folks."

Haraga comes back, carrying a young man over his shoulder. He puts him down. He looks terrified.

Haraga: "This guy'll do. Right, punk - here's the microphone. What's your name?

Man: "(looks down at Jimmy Hill) Err......it's....Jock."

Haraga: "Jock who?!"

Jock: "J-J-J-Jock Matthews, sir...."

Haraga: "Good. He's got a name for reporting, an' he looks like a poof. Right, ask us some decent questions."

Jock Matthews: "Eh....erm.....how are you?"

Haggis-Vendor: "A WRESTLING question, you frickin' dumb-ass."

Jock Matthews: "Oh, ok. Sorry sir. Well, er........how many times did Hulk Hogan win the WWF title?"

The Tartan Army stare blankly at the young man, flames teeming from their eyes.

"I'm sorry.....I'm not really into wrestling. I'm a rugby fan."

JaYo: "God damn EGG-CHASERS!! Get 'im!!"

The Tartan Army destroy young Jock, and chuck him against a wall. He lands, stomach-first, onto Jimmy Hill.

JaYo: "I guess we just have to do this ourselves.

JaYo takes the microphone, and the camera zooms into his face.

"ExGen.....FNS......you wee shites are going DOWN! No-one comes onto our territory, and gets away scot-free. Just like St.Andrew made St.George piss his pants, we're gonna make youse suffer. And we're gonna dae it infront of the greatest fans in the world!"

The fans cheer wildly!

"The championships are coming home, baby!!"

The Tartan Army let out a huge roar, and they all get psyched up. CMA pours the remaining whisky over JaYo's head, and he then slaps Muzza in the face - Muzza lets out a huge roar, slaps himself in the face, before they all march towards the entrance.



* THEME TUNE - 'Breathe & Stop' by Q-Tip *

The fans are all popping big style for the last segment, but it quickly quietens down as the Tag Team Champs make their way out. Behind them is FNS' girlfriend, Kimberly. She looks pumped up, but happy to be out there to see FNS' match. FNS and ExGen have serious looks on their faces. They try not to look around at the cauldron-like intensity of the Scottish crowd.

* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

McFoley: "My God, this is the biggest ovation in SCW history! I can't see one person sitting down here in the SECC! The whole place is shaking, as the challengers JaYo and Muzza enter ringside, along with their troops. What a battle this one is gonna be!"

SCW World Tag Team Championship
FNS & ExGenesys w/Kimberly (champions) vs JaYo and Muzza w/Haraga, CMA, Haggis Vendor, and a few other randoms
Referee: Rolf Harris

First ten minutes: The tag match goes ahead as normal, the surrounding stars refrain from interfering as the two teams battle for control. Every time FNS or ExGen gain the upper hand, a chorus of boos helps to upset the champs.

Next ten minutes: FNS begins to defend himself from the crowd noise, and begins beating down on Muzza's neck. He shows no remorse, he knows the Shooting Star Tombstone will still be hurting the challenger.The fans try to rally behind Muzza, and eventually it pays off, as Muzza finds the strength to hit FNS with a Single Malt, and they both tag at the same time!

Finale: JaYo and ExGen enter the ring, and JaYo knocks the champ down with powerful shoulder-blocks, flying elbows, and even a spinning heel kick! FNS comes back in, but JaYo grabs him in a bear-hug postion.....Muzza enters, bounces off the ropes, and hits a version of the Hart Attack on FNS! Wow! ExGen gets back up, and JaYo sneaks behind him and hits a Scots Suplex!!

McFoley: "The Army are building momentum right here folks!"

The Cat: "Muzza has called towards CMA - what's that all about?"

CMA acknowledges Muzza'z signal, and he kneels down, looks under the ring apron - and pulls out a TABLE!!

McFoley: "The place is so hot tonight, even a piece of furniture is receiving a healthy pop!"

CMA and Haggis Vendor sets up the table on the outside. The referee sees this, and stands on the apron to try and convince them to move the table out the way.

On the other side, Kimberly jumps up onto the apron to try and distract JaYo and Muzza. They ignore her, as they pick up FNS.

The Cat: "What the HELL??! - there's NIFF!"

Niff charges down the aisle, and pulls Kimberly from the apron! Niff and Kimberly then begin rolling all over the floor, pulling yet more hair!!"

The Cat: "Youch!! This looks nasty!! Women just can't get along, can they?!"

Kimberly rolls on top, and slaps Niff in the face! She gets up, and drags Niff to her feet. She rolls Niff into the ring. Niff leans on the ropes, shouting at Kimberly from the inside. She leans down, and Kimberly gives her one final slap!

The force of it makes Niff spring up, and she turns around to face the middle of the ring - where JaYo and Muzza are standing!

BAMM!! Double Whisky to Niff!!

McFoley: "Man, Niff has been decimated!! JaYo and Muzza extract a slice of revenge for Haraga!"

JaYo and Muzza then face FNS and ExGen, who have got a second-wind. They begin knocking the challengers down! Haggis Vendor hops onto the apron, and gets knocked down! A couple of other Tartan Troops try to enter, but they are thrown from the ring too! CMA slides in, but ExGen hits the ExGenerator! CMA rolls out the ring, clutching his face.

Muzza gets up, and FNS hits the Tilt-A-Squirrel Backbreaker! The fans are not liking it, but the action is intense!! ExGen clotheslines JaYo, and the force takes them both to the outside! The referee follows the legal men to the outside.

FNS picks up Muzza, and has a HUGE smile on his face!

He drags Muzza to the corner, and pulls him up.

McFoley: "Oh no......he can't be thinking what I'm thinking!! He's gonna regret this!!"

The Cat: "This could end Muzza's career!!"

McFoley: "Everyone else is down but Kimberly, who watches on...there is no-one to stop this! The fans don't wanna see this! There's no chan.......WAIT A MINUTE!! there's MR.SHOWTIME!!"

Mr.Showtime runs down the aisle, and grabs the first person he comes to - Kimberly!! He pulls her by the hair round the ring, stands her next to the wooden table, and puts her head between his legs! FNS gets Muzza in postion for the Shooting Star Tombstone! FNS looks around at the crowd, and as he does so, spots Mr.Showtime!

FNS jumps down from the turnbuckle as Mr.Showtime hoists Kimberly up, and BOOM!! He powerbombs Kimberly RIGHT THROUGH the table!!

McFoley: "She's been broken SMACK-DAB IN HALF!!!"

'HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!'

Mr.Showtime jumps over the barricade and into the audience, as FNS rolls out the ring and goes straight to Kimberly. He looks devastated, and performs the 'X' signal, and calls for help.

On the other side, ExGen rolls JaYo back into the ring. The ref sticks with them. Muzza is still in there, he charges at ExGen, but he ducks, and Muzza flings over the ropes to the outside! ExGen waits for JaYo to get up, but hears FNS' calls. He turns around, and sees FNS. He shrugs his shoulders, and before he can do anything else, JaYo sneaks up behind ExGen and connects with an inverted release Scots suplex!!

ExGen lands right on his head! JaYo goes right to him, hooks the leg tightly - and there's no chance of getting up from that move!

The referee counts one....two....three!!

WINNERS and NEW World Tag Team Champions: JaYo and Muzza

McFoley: "Well I can't believe how this one went down, but it's in the books - we have NEW tag Team Champs, and my, are the crowd loving it! The Tartan Army have taken the titles, but that's not the whole story here! Kimberly is down, she's been destroyed! That sort of situation should be easily avoided!"

The Cat: "It would have been avoided if she didn't show up in the first place! And don't forget about the lovely Niff, she was beaten up by those nasty Scots too!"

McFoley: "Yeah, but she had that coming to her."

The Cat: "WHAT??!!!"

The commentators watch on as the ambulance crew take care of Kimberly on the outside. The Tartan Army begin to recover from the war, and they all re-group in the ring. Rolf Harris hands the tag title straps to JaYo and Muzza. Those in attendance rise up and salute the new champs!

McFoley: "Anyways, it's time up here, and I hope you've all enjoyed the show, it's been a great one, and we go back to Showtime City next week, for the build-up to ShowDown!! There'll be no Plane Ride From Hell for the Tartan Army - they are in Championship heaven! Goodbye folks, and thank you!!"

Quote:

 

This is a SCN Update, with your host-




Percy Pringle 2004.

"OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh yeeeeessssss!! This is an important SCN news update!

"We can confirm that the SCW superstars have safely reached Showtime City, but it was not without contoversy! The flight, which landed at Flex Kavana International Airport from Glasgow in the early hours, nearly ended in chaos as the wrestlers on board created a situation akin to the famous WWE Plane Ride From Hell incident a couple of years back.

"However on this occasion, SCN had our Foriegn Sports Entertainment reporter on board. We go over to FKI Airport for a live feed, where Fred Elliot will join us. Fred?"






"JOSHUA!! Put that down, ah say put that down!"

"Eh.....hello there. Well, there was some shocking developments in t'early hours of this mornan. Turns out that SCW owner Mr.Showtime caught a later flight, so that he could finish a deal or two. In his abscene, the rest of the roster went absolutely berserk, absolutely berserk ah say!

"T'perpitraitors of these heinous actions stemmed from a quartet of grapplers, whom insiders say are the bones of a 'backstage clique' in SCW. Mr.Showtime will not be best pleased. AH SAY HE WON'T BE BEST PLEASED!!

"One of the four men, ah can confirm, was none other than 'Big' Bal Bowski.

"Anyroad, it turns out that t'chaos ensued when Mr.Bowski began chewing on a Scottish Saltire flag that he'd picked up in one of those crappy airport stalls. Some other members of the flight took exception, and a playful argument began. SCW backstage reporter Jimmy Hill, who looked the worse for wear before the flight took off, caught the brunt of the melee, and some say he even incited it in t'first place. Needless to say, ah can confirm reports that Mr.Hill has been terminated from his SCW contract."

"One of t'other people on t'flight went as nutty as a squirrel, AH SAY as NUTTY as a SQUIRREL - when he found out there were no female-orientated alcoholic beverages on board, as promised.

"Also, a discussion on art between the wrestler known as ExGenesys, and top official Rolf Harris, got heated. Mr.Harris had to get stitches to close t'cut above his left eye.

"That's all ah have, ah say that's all ah have at the moment, but if any other news resulting from this breaks through, you can be sure, AH SAY you can be sure, that we will break them here, on SCN.

"Fred Elliot, FKI Airport, Showtime City. AH SAY - SHOWTIME CITY!!"

Quote:

 

SCW Jinx - EPISODE 8 RE-CAP

Last time on Jinx, The Tartan Army ruled the show in their own backyard, with Muzza and JaYo coming away with the Tag Team Championships. During the title match, SCW owner Mr.Showtime powerbombed FNS' girlfriend, Kimberly Hart, through a table!

The Council, Max Caschera and Squat Rocker, defeated 'Big' Bal Bowski and World Champion Ghostface by disqualification. After the match, Sheriff Baz announced a match for ShowDown - a triple threat World Title Match between Ghostface, Caschera and Rocker!!



* BACKSTAGE *

Sheriff Baz: "Good evening."

"Last week on Jinx, we crowned new Tag Team Champions, in JaYo and Muzza.

"However, I have reason to believe that a title change would not have occured if SCW owner Mr.Showtime had kept his filthy paws to himself. He severly injured someone who isn't even on the SCW roster, and, owner or not, those actions need to be punished.

"Personally, I am fed up of the owner not only interfering in matches, put putting himself in them too. After our next pay-per-view, ShowDown, I will officially BAN Mr.Showtime from entering himself in matches. However, I WILL give him one last match - to take place at ShowDown.

Sheriff Baz picks up a photgraph from his desk, and looks at it.

"After discussing possible punishment for his actions, I have come to a decision.

"At ShowDown, Mr.Showtime will go one-on-one......with THIS man."

Sheriff Baz turns the photo to the camera.


















"OH MY GOD!!"

Sheriff Baz: "Now that is sorted.....on to - TONIGHT."

"In the interests of fairness, I have no other choice but to give FNS and ExGenesys a re-match, TONIGHT, for the SCW Tag Team titles."






"Oh......and it will be in a STEEL CAGE MATCH."


WELCOME TO SCW JINX!!!

Mick Foley: "Good evening fans! We are BACK in Showtime City, and we are only one week away from our third Pay-Per-View, SHOWDOWN! And a bombshell to start us off with from the Sheriff - FNS challenges Mr.Showtime, what a grudge match THAT is going to be! I'm Mick Foley, and I'm sitting next to Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley!!"

The Cat: "OOOOOOWWWWWW-YEAAAHH!! Hey there monkeys! It will indeed be a good show, tonight AND at ShowDown, and not only can I not wait for the FNS/Showtime match, but we will also see The Gold Gauntlet match! The entire roster battle it out in the ring, at the same time, to see who will become the next World Title challenger!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Dead Wrong' by Notorious B.I.G. *

Foley: "Tonight we will see the first ever cage match in SCW history, with the Tag Titles on the line once again! But right now, here comes the Gimmick Champion Ki Crusher. Last week in Glasgow, he held on to his title by the skin of his teeth, only beating Haraga because of very timely interference by Niff!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Make Noise' by Busta Rhymes *

The Cat: "I'm guessing Niff isn't around tonight, and I'm not surprised - she's probably still trying to shake off the Double Whisky she suffered at the hands of The Tartan Army last week!"

Non-Title Match
Ki-Crusher (SCW Gimmick Champion) vs Kris 'Firework' Ranger
Referee: John Fashanu

Firework makes his way into the ring, but he keeps stretching his back.

Foley: "The Tartan Army also blind-sided Firework last week, so they could get their tag title match. He looks to have a damaged spine, and looks very uncomfortable. Ki Crusher is not in the best of shapes either, mind you."

Firework and Ki Crusher face-off, and lock into a grapple. Ki sweeps behind Firework, and simply punches Firework in the spine! Firework roars in pain! Ki Crusher grabs Firework by the tights and throws him over the top rope.

Ki Crusher taunts Firework from the ring, shouting, 'you can't beat me, boy! I'm the CHAMP!'

All of a sudden, a figure slides into the ring, and attacks Ki Crusher from behind!

Foley: "Oh my God - SHAKE THIS is BACK!! Look at him GO!!"

Shake This LAYS into Ki Crusher!! He cracks Ki into the turnbuckles, and shoulder-thrusts into Ki's abdomen. He whips Ki into the opposite corner, and he flies into it upside-down!

The referee calls for the bell as Ki stumbles back into the centre of the ring, and meets Shake This!

Shake This hits Ki Crusher with the Pervous Breakdown powerbomb!

The Cat: "Shake is back, man! And he wants Ki Crushers' gold!"

Shake This picks up the Gimmick Title, looks at it, and throws it onto a battered champ. Shake slaps Crusher in the face, then leaves the ring.

On the outside, Firework looks miffed.

WINNER: No Contest





* BACKSTAGE *

Behind the curtains, The Genius finds Mikey Richards.

The Genius: "Mikey! Mikey. You know I'm up against Haraga next, right?"

Mikey: "........no."

The Genius: "Oh. Well, anyway, I am. But not only that - I just came from the Sheriff's office, and, if I win, I gain us a Tag Team title shot at ShowDown against the winners of the Cage match later tonight!"

Mikey: "Nice one! You truly can be a genius sometimes, huh?"

The Genius: "Well, no. Baz just happened to pick us. Still, that means that if I win, we'll both have a Tag title shot, AND be in the Gold Gauntlet at the end of the night! Anyways, I think I have a way to outsmart Haraga tonight. Here, use this when I say. And, with him being a Scot and all....it's not going to be TOO difficult......"



* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

Haraga w/CMA vs The Genius w/ Mikey Richards
Referee: Mini-Me

Opening five minutes: CMA and Mikey, both at ringside, wind each other up as the participants inside the ring get it on. Haraga and The Genius go at it tooth and nail.

Finale: Mikey, still taunting, pulls out a baseball cap from his pocket. It is an official England international football cap. CMA sees this.

CMA: "You wee bastard! I'm gonnae get yooooo.....(!)"

CMA chases Mikey around the ring. Mikey runs up the ramp, and CMA follows him behind the curtains. Haraga sees this, and stops battering The Genius for a second to look at the ramp. He shrugs his shoulders.

One second is all it takes. The Genius sneaks behind the Scotsman, and rolls him up for a three-count!

WINNER: The Genius

The Genius slides out the ring, and big smile on face, walks up the ramp, not looking back. Haraga looks shocked, and can't believe what just happened! He begins kicking the ring ropes in disgust.




* The ShowReel big screen lights up, and begins to play another mysterious video package. *

We see the mystery man for the third time. He is standing outside, in what looks to be a quiet rural area. There is no sound except the whistling of the trees.

"Terry Funk.

"Son of Dory Funk Sr., Terry Funk is up there with the likes of Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and The Rock as one of the most recognisable men in professional wrestling history.

"At his peak, Funk carried the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and the ECW World Heavyweight Championship with honour. His hardcore style shocked, surprised and entertained those who were lucky to watch. Terry Funk was entangled in table spots before even the Dudley Boyz could say, 'wassup'.

"As well as being one of the most recognisable, Terry Funk is also one of the most respected men in the business, and behind his insane persona lies a man who always looked out for others, mentored others, and taught others about the ways of the business. Those that have learnt from this man have themselves become great men."

The camera pans back. To the side of the mystery man is a fence, with a sign-post attached. The sign-post reads, 'Double-Cross Ranch'.

Another man walks into view, and stands next to the mystery man. It is none other than Terry Funk.

(crowd pops huge!!)

"I am one of those men."

Terry Funk looks at the man, and shakes his hand.

Terry Funk: "I see so much promise in you, young man. You go out there, and show these snot-nosed punks what old school REALLY is!

"Whether they LIKE it........or NOT."

The camera performs a close-up on the Double-Cross Ranch sign-post, as it fades to black.

Foley: "Bloody hell! That really was my good friend Terry Funk, and he seemed to be ENDORSING this guy!! I wonder what's gonna happen next with this mystery man."

* BACKSTAGE *

Ki Crusher is storming down a corridor!

The Cat: "What's he playing at?"

Ki Crusher, dragging the Gimmick Title belt behind him, gets to the end of the corridor, and turns into an office. Inside the office is the SCW Gimmick Wheel.

Ki Crusher looks at it, then puts a foot right through it!

Foley: "What the hell?!"

Ki Crusher: "God damn stupid GIMMICK MATCHES!! NOOOOOO!!"

The Cat: "Crusher's gone CRAZY!"

Ki Crusher absolutely destroys the Gimmick Wheel, knocking it down and punching it, ripping it, kicking it, anything! Ki Crusher then stands up, picks up his championship, and walks out the office, slamming the door.

The door falls off its' hinges.




* The Cage begins to lower from the ceiling of the Showtime Arena. *

The Cat: "Aww cool man - this ain't one of your flimsy nowadays cages - this is an old-school kinda cage, with the big blue bars! Very retro, I love it!"

SCW Tag Team Championship
CAGE MATCH
JaYo and Muzza (Champions) vs FNS and ExGen
Referee: Kriss Akabusi

* THEME TUNE - 'Breathe & Stop' by Q-Tip *

FNS and ExGenesys, the first SCW Tag Team Champions, walk towards the cage. They open the door, and walk in. They look a helluva lot more confident than they did in the Glasgow cauldron of noise last week.

Foley: "I've just been told to win the match, you have to win by pinfall or submission. If you climb out the cage - you just won't get back in."

* THEME TUNE: 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

The Tag Team Champions JaYo and Muzza appear, title belts on shoulders. They look upbeat. As JaYo and Muzza enter the cage, more figures appear on the ramp...

.....CMA......Haraga.....and MR.SHOWTIME!

Foley: "Good Rod Almighty - the owner is here, with those damn Scots!"

The Cat: "Yeah - but I don't see what effect that'll have - it's a cage match, Mick."

Opening exchanges: A vicious battle from the off, with JaYo and ExGen exchanging blows, and FNS battling with Muzza in the corner. Tornado rules, anything goes. Referee Akabusi struggles to keep order, and a straight face, as ExGen hits five ExGenerators in a row to Muzza, and each time Muzza turns around and walks into the cage, clutching his face in agony.

Middle five minutes: The challengers take the upper hand, as FNS hits a Tilt-A-Squirrel Backbreaker on JaYo! They then double team Muzza, but then see CMA begin to climb the cage! FNS meets him at the top, and knocks him back down to the floor! Then Haraga climbs up at the other side, and ExGen meets him and knocks the Scot to the mat too!

Finale: ExGen and FNS hoist Muzza up, they are gonna finish this one off....

The Cat: "Hold on a second - do my eyes deceive me...or is the cage being LIFTED??!"

Mr.Showtime can be seen pointing towards the back, waving his arms, and then waving towards the sky. Somwone is operating the cage, and moving it back up towards the ceiling!

Foley: "What in the blue blazes is going on here?!"

The cage is lifted enough for human bodies to enter the ring, and enter they do! Haraga, CMA and Mr.Showtime slide into the ring, and begin ripping into FNS and ExGen!

Foley: "You can only win by pinfall or submission....no DQ's! Damn, it's another set-up by Showtime and the Army!"

JaYo, Haraga, CMA, Muzza and Mr.Showtime beat seven shades of sugar out of the challengers, until there is barely nothing left of them. They toss ExGen out the ring. JaYo, Muzza and Haraga wait for FNS to stand up, and WHAMM!! He gets knocked into next week with a TRIPLE Whisky!!

Foley: "This is just not right at all!"

JaYo covers FNS in the middle of the ring as the Army watch on. Kriss Akabusi has no option but to kneel down and count to three.

(crowd - 'BOOOOOOOOOOO!')

WINNERS and STILL SCW Tag Team Champions: The Tartan Army




* BACKSTAGE *

Shake This is with Sheriff Baz.

Sheriff Baz: "Ok, Shake, I have some news. I don't condone what you did tonight, but considering that Ki got Niff to take you out a few weeks ago, I can understand.

"Anyways, Crusher has gone and destroyed my Gimmick Wheel. I was going to use it obviously for your match next week at ShowDown. However, with the wheel out of commission, I need a new way to decide the stipulation.

"I don't like picking stipulations myself....so I'm going to let the people decide!"

(the crowd cheers!!)

"As soon as the show goes off the air, I will pick five match types, and put them up in a poll in the Games section. The stipulation with the most votes will be your match type for ShowDown! And, I will run the poll right up to the Pay-Per-View!"

The Cat: "Wow! What an idea from Sheriff Baz!!"

Shake This nods in agreement.

Shake This: "You better make these matches worthwhile......"

Shake This walks out the room, and closes the door lightly.


The door falls off its' hinges.


The Cat: "I'm now going to hand you down to ringside, where Foley is now!"





Foley: "Thank you Dwayne. Now, I'd like to introduce to all you people - here, in Showtime City! (cheap pop.....) this man. He is - 'Big' Bal Bowski!!!"

(crowd goes wild!)

* THEME TUNE - 'X.Y.U.' by Smashing Pumpkins *

Bal Bowski walks confidently towards the ring. He enters, and shakes hand with the Hardcore King.

Foley: "All right! Good to see you Bal. Now, it's been a bumpy couple of months for you. In the very first episode of Jinx, you had a run-in with the owner of SCW, Mr.Showtime. Needless to say, you got off on the wrong foot with him, and after the WWE saga, in which you decided to, then decided against, joining Shane McMahon, the boss has been on your back ever since. Tell us your thoughts."

Bowski: "Well, Mick....(waits for crowd to die down)....yeah you're right. There was so much pressure coming into SCW, and helping to get it off the ground. And the pressure got to me, I saw an easy way out - the easy life in the WWE. However, with a little help from my friends, at the last minute, I took a change of heart. And it's the best decision I ever made.

"I apologised for it. I apologised to the fans, the Sheriff, to my friend Ghostface, to everyone. Yet, that wasn't enough for Mr.Showtime, apparently."

Foley: "That's right - you took him on at HellBound and, thanks to The Tartan Army, he beat you. If it wasn't for the Sheriff, you wouldn't have received a title shot in SCW."

Bowski: "The Tartan Army WILL get what they deserve. What goes around comes around. Next week at ShowDown, I am in The Gold Gauntlet. And so are the Tartan Army. My main aim, of course, is to win that match. My secondary objective, however, is to get some REVENGE on them skirt-wearing fatties."

Foley: "Understandable. Mr.Showtime's put a ban on you touching them, but in the Gauntlet, it's every man for himself. And talking about the Gauntlet - you beat Squat Rocker to progress to the match. The winner becomes No.1 contender for the World title, which is what you've been after since the beginning. How do you think you'll fare?"

Bowski: "Of course, it could all come down to the luck of the draw, I'm hoping I get......."

* THEME TUNE - 'Deeper Underground' by Jamiroquai *

The Cat: "Uh-oh.....Foley's not gonna like this one bit. Not even a smidgen!"

Making his way to the squared circle is Styles Clash! He enters the ring. Foley and Bowski tilt their heads in confusion, and annoyance. Styles Clash grabs the mic from Bowski, nudges past him, and stands infront of Mick Foley.

Styles Clash: "Look at you Foley. Not even in your forties yet, and you're a broken down never-was colour commentator. Why is this chump getting questioned? Why not the new blood, the fresh face, the most TALENTED member of this roster?! And I'll tell you why not - because I'm Canadian, and you're all jealous because you KNOW that I possess natural wrestling flair, style, and charisma! And I'll tell you this for free too - I'M the man who's leaving the Gold Gauntlet as No.1 contender!

Bal Bowski grabs the mic back.

Bowski: "Hey - why don't you wait your turn, you Canadian cvnt?!"

Styles Clashs' jaw drops at the language of Bowski! His face turns from shock to anger, then to disappointment.

Styles Clash then turns back to Foley......and kicks him square in the nuts!!

The Cat: "OH NO!!"

Bowski grabs Styles by the shoulder, and plants him with a right hook! Styles goes down! A second punch by Bowski! And a third! Foley rolls out the ring in agony.

Bowski whips Styles into the ropes, but Styles holds onto them them. Bowski charges, and get body-dropped to the outside!

Styles Clash follows, and he whips Bowski into the ring steps!

The Cat: "Awww man, this has degenerated big-style!"

Styles stomps Bowski, and laughs and taunts as he does so. Then, he starts to pull away a part of the ringside mats, exposing the cold hard concrete underneath!

Styles Clash drags Bowski to the concrete, and attempts a PILEDRIVER!

The Cat: "No - don't do it!"

Bowski holds on, and begins punching the legs of Styles Clash! Bowski fights out of the piledriver attempt, kicks Styles in the stomach, and goes for a piledriver of his own!

Styles Clash counters, and Bowski is back-dropped onto the concrete!

The Cat, Bowski and the crowd: "OOWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

Styles Clash ain't finished yet! He walks to the announcer's desk, rips off the ring bell, turns to face Bowski, and waits for him to get up!

Styles Clash charges.....and BAMM!!! He ploughs into Bal Bowski, ring bell connecting with skull!!

Within seconds, Bal Bowski's face is COVERED in blood!!

The Cat: "Holy crap! This Styles Clash is SERIOUS!! This has damaged Bowski's chances of winning The Gold Gauntlet big-time!!"

Styles Clash rubs his hands gleefully, and saunters off down the ramp. Foley, nuts in hand, watches on as Styles Clash leaves. He then goes to see to Bal Bowski, who is lying in a puddle of tomato ketchu.....I mean blood.



* BACKSTAGE *

We are in the Sheriff's office. In walks Firework.

Firework: "Hey Sheriff! I know you'll have watched my match earlier. I was in a match with the Gimmick Champ, and it hardly got started - Shake comes in and ruins the match! I think, and I know you'll agree with me, that I deserve better. I at least deserve another chance to prove why I'm here in the first place..."

Sheriff Baz: "I agree, Kris, I agree. Look, what I have to......."

The door is flung open. In comes ExGenesys. He has a towel over his head.

Sheriff Baz: "Hello, ExGen...."

ExGenesys: "I'm getting fed up of all this screwing around going on, Baz. I'm beginning to think that the Army are related to management, the amount of assistance they seem to get these days! You saw what happened.....I want you to do something about this! It's irksome, Sheriff, really irksome..."

Sheriff Baz: "Well as a matter of fa......"

Firework: "ExGen, no offence, but this was a private conversation, I'm trying to......"

ExGenesys: "What the......you can shut your face right now, Guy Fawkes! If it wasn't for you getting bagpiped by the Army last week, me and FNS would still HAVE the Tag titles!"

Firework: "Well maybe if you were around instead of looking for that tramp Kimberly, I wouldn't have been attacked!"

ExGenesys: "You little piece of sh......(!)"

BOOM!

The Cat: "ExGen just speared Firework RIGHT OVER BAZ'S DESK!!"

ExGen and Firework begin pummeling each other behind the Sheriff's desk, and they continue to shout abuse at each other as they do so! Sheriff Baz tries to pull Firework away from ExGen.

Sheriff Baz: "QUIT IT RIGHT NOW!! YOU TWO!! STOP!!"

Firework jumps off, and Sheriff Baz stands in front of him as ExGen gets up and brushes himself down. They continue to stare at each other.

Sheriff Baz: "LOOK! Look, guys! I understand emotions are running wild. But how DARE you two act like that in my office! The only rolling around in here is reserved for me and my female companions!! GOT IT?!

They both say nothing.

Sheriff Baz: "...(sighs)....Ok. That's it. You two can blow off some steam. And you can do it where it'll make us the most money - next week, at ShowDown!

(crowd cheers!)

ExGenesys: "......Fine by me."

ExGenesys walks out, and slams the door.



The door falls off its' hinges.

Firework: "Baz......you need to get better maintenence."





The Cat: "Mick, is back with us. How are you?"

Foley: "....uggghhh - don't......assssssk."

The Cat: "Well, that's another match made for ShowDown next Tuesday! ExGenesys will be slugging it out with Firework!"

Foley: "The Tag Team Championship will be on the line - The Tartan Army duo of JaYo and Muzza defend against The Genius and Mikey Richards!"

The Cat: "The Gimmick Title is up for grabs again - but this time, the FANS choose the match stipulation!"

Foley: "That's right Dibley - Ki Crusher puts his gold on the line against Shake This, but remember folks - as soon as Jinx ends, a week-long poll to determine the stipulation will be available in the Games section!"

The Cat: "First, it was the use of the Shooting Star Tombstone. Then, it was the injury caused to Kimberly - FNS takes on Mr.Showtime in a MASSIVE Grudge Match!"

Foley: "And our double main event, first - The Gold Gauntlet! 14 men confirmed, and no doubt more to be added - two men begin, you can be eliminated by pinfall or throw-out, the last man becomes No.1 contender for the biggest prize in SCW!"

The Cat: "And of course we can't forget the Triple-Threat main event - Max Caschera and Squat Rocker of The Council battle with Ghostface, and themselves, for a chance to become World Heavyweight Champion!"

Foley: "Yep, the stakes are high, and the two losers of that match will still get entry into the Gauntlet - so there is lots on the line!"




* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' - by Rage Against The Machine *

Max Caschera of The Council enters the ring.

* THEME TUNE - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

The crowd go nuts!

Foley: "Oi, no mention of nuts!

The Cat: "Huh? Who were you talking to right there?"

Foley: "What? .....any-way...oww....here comes the World Champion!"

Max Caschera vs Ghostface (SCW World Champion)
Referee: Rolf Harris

Opening five minutes: An even match-up, but Ghostfaces' technical expertise begins to overshadow Caschera's powerhouse style. Ghostface looks confident in there against Max.

Foley: "These two had a one-on-one two weeks ago, and Ghostface, riding high after the World Title win, won through. However, now that Max knows he has a title shot next week, he may put a little more energy into things."

The Cat: "If I was Max, I'd be trying to take him out before the pay-per-view!"

Foley: "Where would you take him - a fancy Italian restaurant?

The Cat: "Hey - I'm the joker around here!"

Finale: Ghostface begins to take complete control, and as he hits a patented brainbuster, Squat Rocker makes his way down the ramp!

Foley: "Aw God dammit - get lost Squat!"

The Cat: ".......now I think about it, we'd probably just go for an Indian, then a DVD."

Foley: "Squat should.......you what?"

Squat holds his hands up, as if he isn't going to interfere. Ghosty sees this, but concentrates on Max. He whips him into the ropes - a kick in the gut, and the Seance by Ghos.....no! it's countered, Max rolls through, and goes for a one-man Brick Wall - Ghostface blocks it - The Seance! He hits the Seance!

Ghostface hooks the leg, and it's over!

One......two.....

Foley: "Aww that son of a - Squat just pulled the referee out the ring!"

Ghostface gets up, and motions towards Squat on the outside. Squat gets up onto the apron, and Ghostface pulls him in over the top rope!

Ghostface goes to whip Rocker off the ropes - but Caschera is now up! Squat is caught by Caschera mid-whip, and they turn to face the World Champ, and BAMM!! Ghostface walks right into a Brick Wall!

Squat Rocker rolls out the ring, and drags the referee to his feet. As the referee climbs back into the ring, Max picks up the fallen champ, and hits the Council Estate neckbreaker!

Ghostface is down......and out!

The referee counts one.....two......


Three! The champ has been upset!

WINNER: Max Caschera

As soon as the bell rings, Squat crawls back into the ring, and he smiles at hi stag team partner. They pick up Ghostface once more, and hit him with a second Brick Wall, just for good measure!

The crowd jeer The Council in disgust!

Foley: "What a statement made by The Council! They destroy the World Champion with a Brick Wall! Max has upset Ghostface folks, and it looks like the World title is hanging in the balance!! How can he overcome two men at once, a tag team no less??!! Tune in next Tuesday for our third Pay-Per-View, ShowDown! It's gonna be more explosive than a bag of tongue-tickling Haribo Tangfastics!! Join us next Tuesday folks, for the first ever Gold Gauntlet!!"

gmoney

26th July 2011 - 10:47 AM

Am I getting it wrong, or did JBL_Mark do a spin off/brand split of SCW? He did some sort of e-fed anyway, and it was predictably abysmal.

gmoney

26th July 2011 - 11:03 AM

My overriding memory of the eCw/SCW thing is Joey/Loki/Bal etc making sure Oldschooler's character pissed himself regularly to wind him up.

Mr.Showtime

26th July 2011 - 10:54 AM

gmoney

26th July 2011 - 10:47 AM

Am I getting it wrong, or did JBL_Mark do a spin off/brand split of SCW? He did some sort of e-fed anyway, and it was predictably abysmal.

Yeah he did - he picked up forum members I wasn't using and what started as a Lame Academy spin-off turned into a full show he wrote. I had nothing to do with it. I fully read the first couple then didn't bother again, I wasn't a fan.

EDIT: Loki yeah I do remember seeing that again a while ago, I enjoyed it but I actually liked the build-up for it too, it turned the Showtime character into a great one who was sick of everyone cheering for eCw and by this point he'd already turned everyone on his own roster against him. He was a paranoid lunatic!

Quote:

 

Sheriff Baz: "Hello there fans. A few days ago, the SCW roster members recorded an advertisement in an unknown location to promote the Christmas edition of SCW Tuesday Night Jinx. Unfortunately, not everything went to plan...."


* We are in a very old, but elegant, building. FNS, ExGenesys, Styles Clash, JaYo and Bal Bowski are sitting around talking. There are cameramen and a producer, who are discussing things with Shake This and The Genius. Shake This has some festive ho's on his arms. The Genius is dressed as a snowman. One of the doors open, and in walks Mikey Richards, and Firework. *

Mikey Richards: "What the hell is that on your shoulder Kris?"

Firework: "Oh this.....(it is a type of belt.)....this is my new championship. I was doing a show for this new promotion called APW, and for some reason, they made me their World Champion. Cool, huh?"

Mikey Richards: "...well, yeah. I suppose it would be cool - if that belt didn't look like it was made on Blue Peter."

Mikey taps a finger on the belt. One of the side plates falls to the floor.

Mikey Richards: "Anyways, who did you beat for the title?"

Firework: "Ha ha, this random who calls himself Ric Flair. Original, huh? Thing is, he doesn't even look like Flair. Long ginger hair, that kind of thing. Ah well. I was meant to be doing some sort of thing for them today, but obviously I'd rather do this."



Haraga: "There is no chance you're gonnae make me wear that."

Muzza hands over a costume to Haraga.

Muzza: "C'mon laddy, the producer said you have to be the Christmas tree fairy. Who are ye to argue wi' him, eh?"

Haraga: "...(he grabs the costume)...rrrrrgghh.....I'm glad this is a well-paid job.....(he storms off).

Muzza turns to face Snowman Genius, pulls the carrot from his face-mask, and starts chomping on it. He watches Haraga in the distance, trying to fit the fairy dress on.

Muzza: ".......what a maroon!"




The Horseme......I mean, FNS, ExGen, Bowski, JaYo and Styles Clash, are dressed up as The Ghostbusters. We don't know why.

ExGen is Janine.

Bowski: "I tell you guys - these proton packs are frickin' cool. I don't care if it's made of plastic and foam....I'm gonna blast the next person that comes through that door."

FNS: "You better hope it's not the boss, then...."

The five of them go quiet. And wait.

And keep waiting.

All of a sudden, the door bursts open.





And in walks Puro Puro.

The Ghostbusters and Janine: "WHAT THE HELL??!"

A second person walks in, and a third, and a fourth, and then a fifth. The fourth person has long ginger hair.

ExGen: "Who the hell are you FREAKS?!"

Person Two: "Hey.....Puro, I thought you said this place was gonna be for us only??"

Puro Puro: "Well, I'm sorry Andy.....I.....I don't know what to say."

Andy Quann: "Just shut up, and go and change into your Arabian costume."

Puro Puro hobbles off.





Bowski: "Andy.....I think you're in the wrong place. The fluffers are needed two floors down."

JaYo: "Isn't this the guy the boss has mentioned before? Andy....Andy Quann?"

Andy: "Yes, that's me. Oh, I take it that you're the SCW guys? Well, let me introduce you to my APW stars.

"This is Raven Fan.....

this is El Ninio.....

and this.....(he points to the long ginger haired guy)...this is Ric Flair."

Every single person in the room burst out laughing.




Bowski: "That's right JaYo, this is the guy Showtime was on about.....this little runt has been pestering us for weeks now....with his bad production, horrible presentation, poor spelling and rubbish stars. Half of his roster are banned from the forums anyways."

Mikey Richards: "Hey Bal, and guess what, one of our guys is their World Champ - Firework!"

Bowski: ".....oh, reeeealy? Kris, let me see that belt."

Firework: "Now, I don't want no trouble, Bal."

Andy: "Please Mr.Bowski, we mean no harm."

Firework hands the belt to Bowski.

Bowski: "Hmm, nice belt....that's some quality sticky-back plastic work on that thing."

Firework: "Come on, man, they don't wanna mess with us."

Bowski: "You DAMN RIGHT THEY WON'T MESS WITH US!!!"




Bowski looks right in Andy Quann's eyes. The SCW roster circles around the APW people.

Bowski: "I won't do anything to that belt. In fact, we won't touch you guys. You know why?
Because we're better than that.
We ENJOY competition.
We encourage it.
But, at the end of the day, you'll all fall to SCW.

"Andrew.....just you remember that.



"Have a merry Christmas."

The SCW roster begin to back off. Bowski hands the APW belt back to Firework. Andy instructs his boys to leave the building.




Bowski turns to the other Ghostbusters.

Bowski: "Ahh, you know something boys? .....Bustin' makes me feel good."

Quote:

 

New SCW talent confirmed

A press release issued today by Showtime City Wrestling confirmed reports of a new female signing.

While we know that the signing is from the TWC forums, the statement refused to confirm the name of the new member.

With such secrecy surrounding the new signing, you can be sure that a huge plotline is expected to revolve around her. SCW has been threatening to expand to big-time proportions for weeks now, and an explosive storyline involving the talented SCW members and the new signing could be just what it needs to move from goodness.....to greatness.

Quote:

 

The Threat:

"The Shooting Star Tombstone is BANNED in Showtime City Wrestling, FNS."

".....Blow me!"

The Illegal Action:

"My God, Muzza has been Shooting Star Tombstoned, and FNS and ExGen retain the tag titles!"

The Retaliation:

"Holy crap - Mr.Showtime has driven the girlfriend of FNS through a table, and The Tartan Army now hold the gold!"

The ShowDown:

"This cage match was a damn set-up, and now the owner and the Army pummel FNS into oblivion! The ShowDown takes place only on Pay-Per-View, and there's no doubt this grudge match is gonna blow the roof off the building! FNS vs Mr.Showtime - this historic ShowDown is almost upon us!"




Smirnoff Ice presents.....

Showtime City ShowDown!

"The Showtime Arena is jam-packed once again here tonight, for Showtime City Wrestling's end-of-year Pay-Per-View! I'm Mick Foley, and alongside me, as always, is Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley!!"

The Cat: "...........OOOOOWWWWWWWWYYYEEEEAHHHH! The atmosphere in this place is un-bel-eeeeeevable Michael!"

Foley: "That's right Cat, and it's because of the huge matches on offer tonight! Grudge matches, mystery stipulation matches, battle royal-style matches, and of course, title matches! All three SCW titles are on the line tonight, and I've a feeling we're in for a rocky ride!"






* THEME TUNE - 'Breathe & Stop' by Q-Tip *

Announcer Jim Carrey: "AAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL-RIGHTEEEEEEEEEEEEE THENNNN!!"

"The following match is scheduled for one fall. On his way to the ring, he is a former Tag Team Champion, and the master of the Eye Rake - thissssssss issssss ExGenesysssssssss!"

ExGenesys walks confidently down to the ring. He acknowledges the crowd around him as he enters the ring.

* THEME TUNE - 'Make Noise' by Busta Rhymes *

Announcer Jim Carrey: "And his opponent, he holds the title of winner of Independant's Day II - this is Krissssssss 'Firework' Rangerrrrrrrrrrr!!"

ExGenesys vs Firework
Referee: John Fashanu

The two men don't waste time - from the bell, they begin pushing each other like a couple of schoolkids, and they lock-up hard. Lots of power moves commence, but neither can take advantage. They both seem to wanna prove who the toughest man is, as they hit back-hand chops on each other's chests.

The match never loses tempo, as Firework and ExGenesys both hit many big-time moves to try to take advantage. No rest-holds here kids, this is all action! ExGen hits a swinging neckbreaker, while Firework retaliates with a blistering release dragon suplex! ExGen hits a leg-drop from the second rope, and Firework also connected with an Enziguri.

Both men are beginning to tire as they race to the finish line, but they keep hitting each other with everything in their arsenal. One mistake could end it, and end it it does.

ExGenesys is thrown to the outside, and Firework performs a stunning Catherine Wheel flip from the apron onto his opponent! He then drags ExGen into the ring, and goes to finish him off.

ExGen is knocked down with a hay-maker! And a second! Then is hit with a spinning heel kick! ExGen is reeling! Firework whips ExGen into the ropes - Firework ducks his head for a back-drop - and ExGen kicks him in the chest! ExGen goes for the ExGenerator! - Firework blocks it by putting both arms infront of his face! Firework kicks ExGen in the bread-basket, hooks a leg, and lifts ExGen in the air - this is the Rocket-Buster delayed fisherman's suplex!

Firework hits the Rocket-Buster! He rolls through on top of ExGen, but the momentum of the move propells ExGen, and it's Firework's shoulders that are on the mat! ExGen maintains the momentum, and the referee slaps the mat for the three count!

WINNER: ExGenesys

ExGenesys and Firework both get up, and ExGen finally realises that he won the match! Firework is upset, he's fuming. He made a mistake, and it was a deadly one. Firework goes to leave the ring, but returns to face ExGen, and offers a hand.

ExGenesys acknowledges that it was a lucky win, and shakes Fireworks' hand, to applause!

ExGen celebrates in the ring as Firework leaves.




* THEME TUNE - 'Complete Control' by The Clash *

A man begins to walk down the aisle. He is smartly-dressed - wearing a suit.

Foley: "Hey - that's the guy we've seen on those promos these last three weeks! He's finally here!"

The man enters the ring, where ExGen still stands, and begins to talk.

"ExGenesys.

"A former SCW World Tag Team Champion, ExGen is one of the most overrated members of the SCW roster. A bumbling mess of a performer, he shows no intelligence, no charisma, and no wrestling ability. Worse, he knows nothing about wrestling history, and disrespects it more than anyone in this company."

The crowd begin chanting 'Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!' ExGenesys, for some reason, lets the man finish.

"Some people just shouldn't be in this business. ExGenesys is one of them. He is scum, and I seem to be the only man who sees through this charade. He portays a fun, exciting, loveable character, when in actual fact, he is nothing of the sort. He is a vile, greedy man who moans at every opportunity. And all you people should realise that this is the TRUTH - whether you like it.....or not."

Someone chucks Coke at the man. This was silly, as since Coke became TWCF King of the Soft Drinks, it has now become very expensive in Showtime City. ExGenesys takes the mic.

ExGenesys: ".......Do you wanna tell these people who you are? They seem really keen to know you."

"Me? You don't know who I am?





"......I am OLDSCHOOLER!!!"

ExGenesys: "Ok, ok, I've got one.

"Oldschooler - born in 1869, he was the youngest of 17 children, and signs of being an old fart showed at an early age. In his life he has won absolutely nothing, he can't even win friends. He is a spiteful man who can't live in the now and can't accept that things CHANGE. He is an old fart, but at the same time, he needs to GROW UP!!"

ExGenesys drops the microphone to the floor, and walks away. As he climbs through the ropes, Oldschooler nips behind him and pushes him to the floor!

ExGen gets up, and charges into the ring, but Oldschooler escapes at the other side and walks briskly up the aisle, smiling. ExGen looks pissed!





The ShowReel big screen is in split-screen mode. On one side is Gimmick Champion Ki Crusher lacing up his boots in his locker room. On the other, Shake This is sitting down, and in deep thought. Mick Foley speaks to the capacity audience.

Foley: "Ladies and gentlemen. These two warriors will compete later tonight in a match in which the winner will walk away with the SCW Gimmick Championship. You folk - the people - have voted in their tens all week to choose a stipulation for the match. Voting closed as soon as the Pay-Per-View began, and I can now announce that Ki Crusher will defend the Gimmick Championship against Shake This, and the match you have chosen is................





"........The Zach Gowen Special!!!"

The crowd cheer the result! Ki Crusher keeps a straight face, whilst Shake This does not look too pleased with the result.




* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

SCW Tag Team Championship
JaYo and Muzza w/ CMA, Haraga vs. The Genius and Mikey Richards
Referee: Verne 'Mini-Me' Troyer

Mikey Richards and The Genius are already in the ring as the SCW Tag Champs make their way down, accompanied by the rest of the Tartan Army.

The four men have great chemistry, and this match goes down well with the crowd. The four men began with lots of quick tagging, some great counters, and some fast-paced moves. The Genius outsmarted the Army a couple of times, so JaYo and Muzza switched tactics, and managed to get Mikey Richards in the ring. The Army then began to work on the smallest man in the match with plenty of arm-holds, and lots of tagging.

The Genius waited an eternity to get into the ring, and finally got tagged in - however, CMA had the ref looking the wrong way, so the tag didn't count.

Mikey eventually escaped from the Army's grasp by rolling out of the way, causing Muzza to shoulder-charge JaYo into the corner! Mikey makes the hot tag!

The Genius jumps in, and dropkicks Muzza! Then JaYo - JaYo flies over the top-rope! Muzza is hit with a suplex, then The Genius climbs to the top, and connects with a top-rope dropkick! CMA jumps onto the apron, but Mikey knocks him down!

Mikey tags in, and The Genius goes to the outside, and brawls with JaYo - they both go over the barricade into the crowd!

Mikey has Muzza where he wants him - Mikey whips Muzza into the corner, then stands in the opposite one! Mikey is ready to charge.....but Haraga grabs onto Mikey's foot! Mikey shakes it off, but then Muzza recovers, and charges at Mikey!

Mikey moves, and Muzza goes chest first into the corner! Mikey kicks Muzza, and lifts him up for a suplex......but Haraga again grabs the boot of Mikey - Muzza lands on top of Richards, and Haraga keeps the leg held down as Mini-Me counts to three!

WINNERS and STILL SCW Tag Team Champions: JaYo and Muzza

Foley: "Aw man - that's harsh! Haraga with a HUGE assist - The Army have cheated their way to victory again! It's always a handicap match when you take on the Army."

The Genius finds his way back to the ring, as the entire Army retreat up the ramp, tag belts raised high above their heads! The Genius shrugs his shoulders at Mikey, and Mikey just nods his head.






Foley: "We are now going to show you what happened earlier today, when some of the SCW stars picked their number for The Gold Gauntlet, in today's main event. Sheriff Baz was there to over-see the drawings."


Styles Clash is in the room, standing behind a spinning machine.
Sheriff Baz: "Grab your ball, Styles Clash."

Styles Clash forces a hand into the machine, and he picks the first ball he touches. He lifts it out, opens it up, and unfolds the piece of paper inside. He stares at the piece of paper blankly......then bursts out laughing!

Sheriff Baz: "You're pleased with your number then?"

Styles Clash: "Ha...ha-ha....Sheriff, tell me again, how many people are in this Gauntlet match?"

Sheriff Baz: "There will be 16 places available in this match, Clash. Why?"

Styles Clash: "Oh, that's good......because I just got number sixteen!

The crowd boo Styles Clash!




The shot fades as we see Styles Clash smile down the camera, and now we see a clip of the same room, but with Mikey Richards and The Genius in there.

Mikey Richards: "Don't tell me you're gonna try one of your theories to try pick a good number?"

The Genius: "Well yes.....using a secret historical formula of choosing one object over the other, I will attempt to collate the information of time, place, spin speed and temperature to infiltrate the matter of ascphxiationalism."

Mikey Richards: ".....You just made that word up, didn't you......"

The Genius: "......yes. Yes I did."

The Genius picks a ball, and opens it up. He face begins to screw up.

Mikey Richards: ".....Well??"

The Genius: "......well.....It's painfully average."

Mikey Richards moves The Genius out of the way, closes his eyes and thrusts his arm into the machine. He fiddles around, picks a ball, opens his eyes, and opens it. He looks at the slip of paper.

The Genius: "......Well??"

Mikey shows The Genius the piece of paper. Mikey begins to grin.

The Genius: "....not bad.....not bad at all....."

Mikey Richards: "(Kind of to himself).....wow, my girl's gonna be happy when I win..."

The Genius: "What? Did you just say something Mikey?"

Mikey: "Eh....erm.....no."

The Genius: "Yes you did. You just mentioned a girl or something."

Mikey: "Aww shucks - darn, I was meant to keep it a secret. It's my girlfriend. She's finally able to move to Showtime City - we're gonna be together again. Can't wait."

The Genius: "Oh, that's nice......where has she been?"

Mikey: ".....just, you know, working...."

The Genius: "Oh well, I can't wait to meet her."




We now see Bal Bowski in the room. He picks his number.

Sheriff Baz: "Happy?"

Bowski: "Yeah. I wasn't bothered either way.

"I've got a lot of enemies in this thing, but I'm just gonna do what I have to to win this thing. JaYo, Haraga, Styles Clash - it's all the same to me - I don't care who's in there when I enter, I'm gonna do what needs to be done to become the number one contender, and finally get what I deserve - a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship."

"I hope the other fifteen guys know what they're in for....."





SCW Gimmick Championship
Zach Gowen Special
Ki Crusher (Champion) vs Shake This
Referee: Ronan Keating

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our special time-keeper - ZACH......GOWWWWWWWWENNNNNN!!!"

Zach Gowen waves at the crowd as they politely applaud the young chap.

Announcer Jim Carrey: "Alrighty-then.....the rules of the Zach Gowen Special. Both men will have their boots tied together, so that they have to hop everywhere. Or slither along the ground like a worm - it's up to them. Anyways, the first man to score a pinfall becomes SCW Gimmick Champion!

* THEME TUNE - 'I Touch Myself' by The Divinyls *

Carrey: "Introducing the challenger - his SCW Pay-Per-View record is two wins and no losses - this is Shake...Thiisssssssssss!"

The crowd applaud Shake This! He looks pumped up and ready for this one!

* THEME TUNE - 'Dead Wrong' by Notorious B.I.G. *

Carrey: "And introducing - the first-ever and only Gimmick Champion - he beat current SCW World Champion Ghostface to win the strap, and his Pay-per-View record is two wins and no losses - this is Kiiiiiii Crusherrrrrrrr!!"

The fans in attendance jeer the young punk! Ki Crusher ignores them.

Referee Ronan Keating has two specially-made straps. He goes over to Ki Crusher, but he insists that the ref ties up Shake first. Ronan doesn't want to argue, so goes to Shake's corner. He kneels down and ties the strap firmly around Shake's boots. At first, Shake struggles to stay standing, but quickly gets to grips with the strap. He hops into the middle of the ring.

Keating then goes to the Champion, and kneels down. However, Ki Crusher quickly sidesteps the ref, then spears Shake This to the mat!

The Cat: "Hey this isn't fair....and that's why I like it!"

Ki Crusher lands several punches on Shake This before Keating drags him away, and tells Ki that he will be stripped of the title if he doesn't strap up!

Shake lies on the ground as Crusher quickly grabs the strap from Ronan and ties it on himself. He then hops over to Shake, and plants an elbow drop on him! Ki pushes himself up - it takes about fifteen seconds - then plants another elbow....but Shake rolls out the way!

The two men crawl to the ropes and pull themselves up. They both hop over to each other and punch each other simultaneously - they both fall over.

Again they crawl to the ropes and pull themselves up. The face each other again, and lock up. Ki breaks the grapple, and swings a punch - Shake ducks, Ki can't keep his feet, and he falls on his ass!

The crowd, and Shake, laugh at Ki as he tries to get up. he falls over again. He finally gets up, but Shake sends Ki to the outside with a perfect dropkick!

Ki takes about 30 seconds to get up - he can't get used to this one-legged lark at all. Zach Gowen at ringside points and laughs. Ki sees this, and hops over to Gowen. He goes to slap Gowen but Zach blocks it - and pushes Ki Crusher over!

Zach Gowen lifts up Ki, rolls him back into the ring, and sits down again.

Shake This pulls Ki up, and whips him into the corner. Shake hops over, and hits a monkey-flip on the champ! Shake then spring-boards his tied feet off the middle rope, and hits a big splash on Ki Crusher! One.....two......Ki Crusher kicks out!

Shake This struggles up, and pulls Ki up with him. He signals for the end - he flips Ki up onto the top turnbuckle, hops up, and delivers a stunning superplex!

Ki is flung to the other side of the ring. Shake This slowly crawls across the ring, but as he does so.......Niff appears from behind the curtains!

Foley: "It's that damn Niff again! It's times like this I wish we got the Niff on a Pole match."

The Cat: "Or a Niff in the Nude match - that's the one I picked......"

Foley: "....that...wasn't a chioce, Cat."

Niff reaches ringside, and shouts at the ref. As Ronan gets distracted by the female Boyzone fan, Ki Crusher slips off the strap from his boots!

He jumps up, and begins kicking the crap out of Shake This! As the ref turns to face them, Niff pulls him out the ring! Ronan lands on his knee!

Niff runs round the ring, and slaps Zach Gowen off his chair. She folds it up, and slides it into the ring!

Ki Crusher picks up Shake This, and shouts out 'Pervous Breakdown!!' He signals for Shake's own powerbomb finisher - and he's gonna slam him onto the steel chair!! Ki hoists Shake up.........but Shake counters, and plants Ki with a DDT onto the chair!

Both men are laying on the mat - Niff decides to slide into the ring, and she picks up the chair! Ki Crusher slowly gets up, but with Shake still tied up he pulls up Shake with him. He sees Niff with the chair, and holds Shake for the chair shot!

Niff swings back, and WHOOSH-CRACK!!

Shake This escapes the clutches of Ki Crusher, and Niff pounds the chair right off of Ki's skull!

Shake This dropkicks Niff to the outside, and crawls across to the corner. Ronan Keating begins to force his way back into the ring, as Shake pulls himself up the turnbuckles - Shake This reaches the top, and lets fly with a huge moonsault!

BAMM!! He lands right on top of Ki Crusher! Shake This holds his stomach, then agonisingly crawls back onto Ki Crusher. The referee is there! One......two....

....three!

Foley: "New champ! New champ! What a bout!"

WINNER and NEWWWWWWW SCW Gimmick Champion: Shake This

The Cat: "That was a weird one, Mick - the odds were stacked against Shake when Niff appeared, but she slipped up big-time! Ki Crusher has been a great champion, but Shake This has reached down deep to pick up this win - he's the new Gimmick Champion!"



* BACKSTAGE *

We are in the locker room of The World Heavyweight Champion, Ghostface. He is watching a tape of a Squat Rocker match. The door opens, and in walks Bal Bowski.

Bowski: "......big match tonight, huh?"

Ghostface: ".....Yeah."

Bowski: "You don't seem focused man - you look kinda worried. What's up?"

Ghostface: "I'm not really worried, Bal......you know....you know when I tried to persuade you to ditch WWE and stay here? You know I said it would be best for business?"

Bowski: "Of course I remember, and I did do what's best for....."

Ghostface: "Yes you did....but it can't stop there. We've always to look at the big picture, and do what's best for business.

"If I survive this triple-threat, I will take on one of fifteen people. Some I've faced before, some I haven't. I just want you to know Bal - I'm not gonna give this title away that easily...."

Bowski: "You don't need to tell me that, I know tha....."

Ghostface: "No, I don't think you do. I'm gonna do what's best for business. And I hope you do too in the Gauntlet match. Everyone would wanna see us two get it on for the World Championship."

Bowski: "Yes they would.....and if you keep your end of the bargain, that's what they'll get. Because I'm coming away with a win."

Ghostface: "Just remember Bal.....to do what's right for business."




ExGenesys is backstage with his tag partner, FNS.

ExGenesys: "Don't worry about Old Fart - you go out there and show the boss who is the boss......you know he can't do that sort of thing to women and get away with it. I'll see you in the Gauntlet!"

FNS looks mad.

FNS: "........I'm going to rip Showtime's fricking HEAD OFF!!"

FNS vs Mr.Showtime
Referee: Jeremy Beadle

THEME TUNE - 'No One Knows' by Queen Of The Stone Age *

Foley: "The owner of Showtime City Wrestling is here! This will be his last match for a while, as decreed by Sheriff Baz - and he's got himself into a mess here! He cost FNS the Tag titles, and put his girlfriend Kimberly into the hospital - I wouldn't be surprised if Showtime joins her by the end of tonight!"

Mr.Showtime walks down the aisle. He looks at the fans as they boo the hell out of him.

The Cat: "Hey - there's FNS!!! He's not waiting for his entrance!!"

FNS catches up with the boss on the aisle, and knocks Showtime down! FNS whips Showtime into the barricades, and follows that up with a bodyslam onto the ramp!

FNS walks to the ring, and looks under the apron. FNS pulls out a LADDER!!

FNS raises the ladder onto his shoulder, waits for Showtime to get up, and WHAMM! The end of the ladder connects with Showtime's face! FNS puts the ladder down, and picks up Showtime. FNS whips Showtime knees-first into and over the steel steps!

Foley: "This is more intense than I'd ever imagined, Cat!"

FNS lays the ladder out on the ground, folded up, and lays Showtime on top of it, on his stomach.

The Cat: "What the hell is he gonna do HERE??!"

FNS walks over to the steel steps, with a sadistic look in his face.

He struggles, but finally lifts the steel steps over his head! He walks over to Showtime's crumpled body lying on top of the ladder.

The fans anticipation heightens!

Foley: "No FNS, don't do it - you'll KILL him!!"

BANG!!

FNS drops the steel steps down into Showtime's back!!

'HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK! HOLY FUCK!'

Foley: "Good God Almighty - Mr.Showtime is being ANNIHILATED!!"

The fans are going nuts as FNS rolls a certainly-dead Showtime into the ring!

The Cat: "Showtime doesn't seem to be conscious - I hate to predict so early in the match....but I think FNS is going to edge this one...."

The referee, realising that the two men are now in the ring, calls for the bell. This match is only just beginning, but it's all over!

FNS covers Mr.Showtime, and hooks the leg.

One......two.....


Foley: "FNS stopped the count! FNS lifted the shoulders off the mat! End it now, dammit!"

The Cat: "C'mon Mick - you can't blame him for this."

Foley: "I know, I know, but he should just end it now!"

FNS cracks a sly smile at Showtime, then the referee, as he lifts Showtime up. FNS drags the carcass into a corner, FNS climbs up, and then pulls Showtime up with him.

Foley: "This is the ultimate incarnation of adding insult to injury, Cat - and yes, my God, there it is! The boss has been CRUSHED!!"

FNS hits the SHOOTING STAR TOMBSTONE!!!

FNS makes the cover a second time, and this time, the referee counts one......two.....


.....three!!! The crowd run wild at the destruction of the SCW owner!

WINNER: FNS

The Cat: "That's gotta be the most one-sided match-up I've ever seen Foley.....well, apart from the time I saw John Cena take on Jesus Christ. You'd think the Saviour would hit the gym once in a while, huh?"

Foley: "I dunno about that, Dibley - but what I do know is that the Medical Team are rushing down to ringside, and it looks as though Mr.Showtime will be stretchered outta here. I know he did wrong Cat, but this was a bit much."

The Cat: "Well, yeah.......still, the fans seemed to enjoy it!"

FNS has already left ringside, as Mr.Showtime is placed on a stretcher. A neck-brace already attached, Mr.Showtime fails to move as he is wheeled down the aisle by George Clooney and a couple of trainee nurses.



SCW World Heavyweight Championship
Ghostface (Champion) vs Max Caschera vs Squat Rocker
Referee: Rolf Harris

* THEME TUNE - 'Sleep Now In The Fire' by Rage Against The Machine *

Jim Carrey: "The following triple-threat match is scheduled for one fall and is for the SCW World Heavyweight Championship!!!"

"Making their way down to the ring - the challengers - they are Max Caschera....and Squat Rockerrrrrrrr!!"

The fans boo the two members of The Council as they hit the ring.

Foley: "Last week on Jinx, Ghostface lost to Caschera thanks to Squat Rocker. If the Council can keep on good terms throughout, they should be able to wear down the Champ enough for one of them to leave here as World Champion."

The Cat: "That's true - but at the end of the day, who goes for the cover? Will either of The Council be happy for the other one to win the match? A title shot doesn't come around every day, so I gotta believe that the answer, is no."

Foley: "You know....that's the most sense you've ever made since I've met you."

The Cat: "Why thank you, Mick."

* THEME TUNE - 'Weenie Beenie' by Foo Fighters *

Jim Carrey: "And now - with a Pay-Per-View record of one win and one loss, he was the SCW World Title Tournament winner, and current, defending, and only SCW World Heavyweight Champion......this is Ghossssssssstfaaaaaace!!!"

The audience give the World Champ a huge ovation!

First ten minutes: Ghostface hardly gets any offense in - Max and Squat are a well-oiled machine, and they double-team Ghosty to high heaven. They wear Ghostface down with some big power moves, but they hardly ever go for a cover. When they do, the champ always kicks out at one.

Middle: The Council attempt a double-flapjack, but Ghostface counters it, and hits a double DDT on the challengers! Ghostface then clotheslines Squat out the ring!

Ghostface pummels Max with everything he has, and hits a German suplex pin, but Max kicks out! He then tries a second, but Max lands on his feet, and hits Ghostface with the Council Estate!

Max goes for the cover - but Squat runs in and stops the count!

Finale: Max shoves Squat, then Squat slaps him across the face! They begin brawling, and as they run the ropes, Ghostface clotheslines Squat! He hits a flying forearm on Max! Ghostface waits for them to get up - he kicks Squat in the stomach, grabs Max in a DDT position, and grabs Squat in a Stone Cold Stunner position! BOOM! Double-impact by the World Champion!

Squat rolls out the ring. Max recovers from the DDT, and walks right into Ghostface, who hits a huge brainbuster!! Big-time impact by Ghostface!

Squat climbs onto the apron, but Ghostface reacts quickly - he super-kicks Squat in the chin, and Rocker takes a flight, right into the barricades!

Ghostface stalks down Max, who gets up slowly, turns around....

Ghostface connects with The Seance!!

One..........two...........three!!! Ghostface retains!

WINNER and STILL SCW World Heavyweight Champion: Ghostface

Max rolls out the ring, as Ghostface is given back his World Title from the referee. He raises it to the crowd, and they cheer his victory!

Foley: "A brave defense by Ghostface! He said he could do it, and although he took a beating, he did what he said! He's kept his side of the bargain, as Bal Bowski put it.....and this means that The Council, both Max and Squat, will be entered in the Gold Gauntlet, which is up next!"





* BACKSTAGE *

Mikey Richards is standing just outside the main locker-room, preparing for the Gold Gauntlet. Sheriff Baz walks up to him.

Sheriff Baz: "Mikey. Unlucky about the tag match, you gave it your best shot."

Mikey: "Thanks Sheriff. I know, it just wasn't meant to be. I'm hoping I get my hands on Haraga in this Gauntlet match though."

Sheriff Baz: "Yes.....I just wanted to ask you, I forgot before. You mentioned a girlfriend. You're not planning on having her around here during shows are you? I mean, you saw what happened to Kimberly. That sort of thing should never happen, and the company does not want it to happen again. I'd rather you kept her away, no offence meant."

Mikey: ".....I get your point, Sheriff. She's a big girl though, and she's more than capable of looking after herself. I'll tell her the options, but she says she's real keen on meeting everyone here in SCW. I wouldn't worry about it - she's a real sweetheart, and wouldn't harm a fly. So I can't see anyone wanting to harm her."

Sheriff Baz: "Ok, ok, well remember what I said. I'm sure we can sort something out.

".....oh, how silly of me not to ask, what's your girlfriends' name?"




Mikey: "Oh, of course. She's called Sabinite."

Sheriff Baz: "Hmm, that's an intriging name.....(Baz looks thoughtful)....now why does that ring a be......

The Sheriff's eyes light up, and his face quickly turns to one of shock and amazement.

"Mikey! Are you sure her name's Sabinite? .....it's not Sabinite Brown is it?!"

Mikey: "Well yes - how on Earth did you know?"

Sheriff Baz: "(Now really angry) Mikey - I want to see you in my office when we meet up for Jinx next week. I am not happy about this at all. You KEEP HER away from this Arena - GOT IT??!"

Mikey: "What the hell's the proble......"

Sheriff Baz: "I MEAN IT!!!"

Sheriff Baz storms off. Mikey looks stunned.




The Gold Gauntlet
Referee inside: Ronan Keating; Referees ringside: Rolf Harris, Jeremy Beadle

Announcer Jim Carrey: "It is now time - for The Gooooooold Gaunnnnntlet!! (loud cheers!)

"Shortly, the first two participants will enter, and begin the match. Every three minutes, a new star will enter. Elimination occurs by being thrown over the top rope and landing on the floor, OR being pinned or made to submit. The remaining man will become the next challenger for the SCW World Heavyweight Championship!!"

"And now, the man who drew Number One!!!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Dead Wrong' by Notorious B.I.G.' *

Number One is..........Ki Crusher!

Ki Crusher walks reservedly to the ring. He looks sore - and pissed off. He takes the mic.

Ki Crusher: "I've been cheated, and I'm gonna....."

* THEME TUNE - 'Make Noise' by Busta Rhymes *

Number Two is..........Firework!

Firework runs into the ring, and locks up with Ki Crusher right away! The Gold Gauntlet is underway!

Firework goes for a few quick pinfall attempts, but Ki keeps escaping. FIrework then tries to force Crusher over the top rope, but Ki is a wily young thing, and he wraps himself around the ropes to avoid being eliminated. Ki kicks Firework away. Firework charges, and Ki hits a drop toe-hold, then follows up by hooking in the Ki-Lock! Firework is close to tapping...........

Number Three is..........Niff!

Niff jogs down the aisle. Ki Crusher sees her, and releases the hold! Niff enters the ring, and Ki Crusher grabs her and begins arguing with her! Niff shouts back, and before you know it, Firework sneaks up behind them and throws them BOTH over the top rope!

Niff and Ki Crusher have been eliminated by Firework!

Firework celebrates, and warms up as he waits for the next entrant. Good start by Firework!...............

Number Four is..........Squat Rocker!

Squat walks down slowly. He looks dejected as he enters the ring. Firework goes straight to work, and pounds down on Squat. He gets Squat in the corner and presses his boot on Rocker's throat! Rocker is already struggling, and Firework lifts Squat up onto the top turnbuckle. Firework tries to force Squat on to the floor.........

Number Five is..........JaYo!

JaYo, one half of the Tag Champs, charges down the aisle and breaks up Firework and Squat. JaYo takes turns to knock down both of them. Squat sneaks into a corner to hide, while JaYo and Firework go at it. Firework whipped into the ropes, he ducks a clothesline, then JaYo ducks a side-kick - then JaYo hits Firework with a Scots Suplex! He then goes for a cover, but Firework kicks out! JaYo then tries to get Firework over the top..............

Number Six is..........Shake This!

The NEW Gimmick Champion walks to the ring, and first goes for Squat Rocker. He kicks him in the corner, and then presses a knee into Squat's throat. Shake then goes over and picks on JaYo. He whips JaYo into the ropes and hits a big-time spinebuster!...........

Number Seven is..........The Genius!

The Genius joins Shake This in picking up JaYo, and trying to push him out - but Squat Rocker gets up, and stops this from happening. Firework rests in the corner as the other four exchange moves. Then, all of a sudden, two men enter the ring, and begin pounding all five men in the ring! Wait - it's Corino Punk and JBL Mark! What the hell is going on?! Punk and Mark batter the five men in the ring, and hit double-team moves on all of them. They then leave the ring as........

Number Eight is..........Oldschooler!

It's Oldschooler! This is his first SCW match - and it looks like easy pickings, his five opponents down on the canvas already! Oldschooler beats down on them, one at a time. He then picks up the Gimmick Champion, Shake This, and tosses him over the top rope!

Shake This has been eliminated by Oldschooler!

Oldschooler then works on The Genius, he is very methodical with his style. He knocks The Genius down with a European uppercut. He then picks up Firework, and perfroms a fireman's carry...........

Number Nine is..........ExGenesys!

Oh my God! ExGen is here! And he bounds down to the ring, and charges right into Oldschooler! They grapple and roll across the ropes, into a corner, and ExGen plants a knife-edge chop right into Oldschooler's chest! ExGen then begins stomping Oldschooler into the ground. Meanwhile, the other guys are getting up and about, and JaYo works on Squat Rocker in the opposite corner...........

Number Ten is..........Max Caschera!

Caschera enters the ring, and knocks down JaYo! He shouts abuse at JaYo - but then Squat grabs Max's shoulder, and thrusts him towards the top rope! But - Max holds on, and he takes Squat Rocker with him! They both get propelled over the top rope, and onto the floor!

Squat Rocker and Max Caschera have been eliminated by each other!

JaYo and The Genius are pounding each other in the middle of the ring, they run the ropes, and The Genius connects with a sidewalk slam! He hits the top rope, and waits for JaYo to stand. The Genius attempts the Nobel Prize! - JaYo ducks, The Genius crashes onto the mat, and JaYo quickly rolls up The Genius, AND hooks his feet on the bottom rope to apply pressure! The ref doesn't see it as he counts The Genius out for the three!

The Genius has been eliminated by JaYo!

ExGen has been trying to force Oldschooler over the top, but it's not happening. He lands Oldy back on his feet, and from nowhere, hits the ExGenerator! Oldschooler falls back across the ropes, ExGen takes a run-up, and clotheslines both himself and Oldschooler over the ropes to the outside!

Oldschooler and ExGenesys have been eliminated!

Number Eleven is..........FNS!

STILL IN THE MATCH: Firework, JaYo, FNS.

Oldschooler and ExGen continue to brawl down the aisle to the back, with Mini-Me trying to break them up. FNS enters the ring to wild cheers, and Firework immediately heads for him! Firework and FNS exchange punches, and they both edge over the ropes grappling - JaYo sneaks up on them, and lifts them both over the ropes! - BUT - Firework holds on, and FNS got the full brunt of it! FNS has been quickly eliminated by JaYo, and the fans ain't liking it one bit! JaYo begins kicking the crap out of Firework, he entered number two and he's still in there! JaYo lifts up Firework, and hits a Single Malt!...........

Number Twelve is..........'Big' Bal Bowski!

Uh-oh! JaYo hears the music, and immediately craps himself! This is Bowski's chance for REVENGE! Bowski sprints into the ring, and JaYo meets him! Right hand - JaYo goes down! Then another! And a third! Bowski hits a Russian Leg-Sweep, then continues on through the World Tour combo! He ends it with a Latvia Lariat, and he goes for the cover - but Firework stops the count! Bowski isn't happy about that, and he begins to punish Firework!............

Number Thirteen is..........Haraga!

Haraga quickly joins JaYo in the ring, and they begin to team up on Bowski. Firework remains in the corner, but then decides to help out Bal. But The Tartan Army members over-power him, and hit a Double Whisky on Firework! The momentum sends Firework sliding out the ring under the bottom rope. The Army then begin to beat down Bowski. Bowski won't survive this!............

Number Fourteen is..........Muzza!

Aw man, it goes from bad to worse for Bowski! The third Tartan Army member walks casually down the ramp, and joins his pals. JaYo runs proceedings as they beat down on Bowski. They spend the next minute or so trying to throw Bowski out, but he just WON'T let go of the ropes! The Army get frustrated, and take him back into the ring - they hit a Scots Suplex - Bowski kicks out! Then a Singel Malt by Haraga - Bowski kicks out! Then JaYo and Muzza go for a Double Whisky - BAMM! They hit it! One......two.......Bal kicks out again! No-one has ever kicked out of that! The Army then lift up Bowski once more, and signal for a TRIPLE Whisky!!............

Number Fifteen is..........Mikey Richards!

Mikey hits the ring a full ten seconds before he was due! He picks up Firework on the outside and rolls him into the ring - then he charges at The Army! Dropkick to Muzza! Heel kick to Haraga! Samoan Drop to JaYo! Firework recovers, and takes on JaYo. Mikey pulls Haraga into a corner, and Muzza and Bal go at it in a third corner............

Number Sixteen is..........Styles Clash!

REMAINING CONTESTANTS: Firework, JaYo, Bowski, Haraga, Muzza, Mikey, Styles Clash

Styles Clash looks like one cocky mother! He saunters down to the ring, with a huge smile on his face! He enters the ring, and stands around watching his prey. Firework has the better of JaYo in the corner, but Styles Clash sees this, grabs Fireworks' shorts, and throws him over the top rope!

Firework has been eliminated by Styles Clash!

Muzza beats down Bal enough, and goes to help Haraga with Mikey. Styles Clash relaxes in a corner and simply watches on. Muzza and Haraga whip Mikey into the ropes, but Mikey holds onto the ropes! Harag and Muzza charge at him, and Mikey flings himself to the ground, pulling the top rope down! Muzza and Haraga fly over the top, but it's Muzza who can't hold on, and he lands on the floor and crashes into the barricades!

Muzza has been eliminated by Mikey Richards!

Haraga climbs onto the apron. Mikey suplexes him back in, but Haraga ladns on his feet, and hits Mikey with an inverted Scots suplex! He gets up, and turns around - BAL-BREAKER! Bowski hits the Bal-Breaker, and the sheer velocity of it sends Haraga to the outside!

Haraga has been eliminated by Bal Bowski!

It's down to Mikey, Bowski, JaYo and Styles Clash! Mikey has been badly hurt by the inverted suplex, and Styles Clash capitalises! He simply picks up Mikey and begins to push him over the top rope! As he does so, JaYo whips Bowski into the ropes - Bowski counters, hold on to JaYo, and hits another Bal-Breaker!!! At the same time as Styles Clash throws Mikey out, Bal Bowski pins JaYo of the Tartan Army!

Mikey Richards has been eliminated by Styles Clash!
JaYo has been eliminated by Bal Bowski!

We are down to the LAST TWO - Styles Clash and Bal Bowski!

They haven't touched each other thus far, and for the first time in the match, they lock eyes. They walk up to each other, and Styles Clash, a fresh Styles Clash that is, laughs in Bal's face! Bal reacts - by giving him the finger! He knocks down Clash with a forearm! And a second! He whips Clash into the ropes, and hits a running DDT! Goes for the cover - one....two.....kick out with authority! Bowski tries to push Styles Clash over the ropes, but Clash gouges Bowski in the eyes! Bowski looks up, and charges at Styles Clash - Clash hits a back body-drop, and Bowski flies over the ropes!

But - Bowski lands on his feet - on the APRON! That was close! Styles Clash keeps punching Bowski to make him lose his grip. HE then begins biting Bowski's hands! Bowski grabs Styles Clash by the head, and tries to pull him over. Clash holds onto the ropes too, but Bowski finally pulls Clash over onto the apron too!

Styles Clash punches Bowski! Bowski punches Clash. They have one foot in the air and one on the apron! They are both using one hand to punch, and one to hold on to the ropes! Clash pushes Bowski back a few feet - then Bowski lifts a foot up, and kicks Styles! Styles takes a few steps back - and now has one foot on the steel steps in the corner! Bowski then kicks Styles hand, and he now has no grip on the rope! Bowski steps forward, raises a sly grin, and BAMM!!

Bowski risks everything - he lets go of the rope - and connects with a BAL-BREAKER!!! Styles Clash lands stomach first on the steel steps, and simply rolls down the steps until he hits the floor! Bowski watches from the top of the steps and looks up at the crowd applauding as the ref calls for the bell! Bal Bowski has DONE IT!!

WINNER of the GOLD GAUNTLET - Bal Bowski!!

Foley: "I NEVER THOUGHT HE'S DO IT, BUT HE HAS BAL BOWSKI HAS STRUGGLED AGAINST ALL ODDS - BUT HE FINALLY HAS WHAT HE WANTS, A WORLD TITLE SHOT, AND THERE'S NOW NOTHING ANYBODY CAN DO ABOUT IT! WHAT AN EVENT! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BOWSKI HERE TONIGHT - HE IS THE NEW NUMBER ONE CONTENDER! THANK YOU EVERYBODY, WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON!

The Cat: "OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

Quote:

 

Taken from Wrest_My_Case.com:

.....SCW News.....SCW News.....SCW News.....

It was confirmed tonight that SCW owner Mr.Showtime's injuries suffered at the hands of FNS at ShowDown were completely ficticious, as he took part in the TWCW Pay-Per-View, Made In Britain. Not only that, but Mr.Showtime walked away with the TWCW United Kingdom Championship.

It seems as though Showtime will remain off-screen in SCW so that 1) he can concentrate more on the booking, 2) he can try to improve his in-ring ability in TWCW, and 3) there is more emphasis placed on Sheriff Baz. Rumours circulating backstage in SCW is that Sheriff Baz will be a major focus of the upcoming shows, which could lead to a massive storyline of 'almost epic proportions'. Read into that what you will.

Quote:

 

We are in the car park of the Showtime Arena. A car pulls up, and the driver's door opens. Out comes Mikey Richards. The passenger door opens, and we see the first sighting of Sabinite.

Mikey: "Well, here we are Sab - the Showtime Arena."

Mikey walks around the car to Sabinite, and takes her hand.

"I'm so glad you've moved here now, you know how happy you make me, don't you?"

Sabinite: "Course I do sweety. I couldn't wait until I could be with you again. And with me by your side, you're gonna get to the top of your profession, I know it."

Mikey: "Well yes. You see though - I told my boss that you were coming, and, he kinda said he didn't want you around during shows. I think it's to do with this other girl getting seriously injured a few weeks back. And he's right, I don't want the same thing to happen to you...."

Sabinite: "Oh.....Mikey, let me talk to him. I'll be able to sort something out, don't you worry honey."

Mikey: "Are.....are you sure?"

Sabinite: "C'mon Mikey - you know how good I am at persuasion....I'll talk to him, ok? Look, you show me where his office is, later. Right now, I want you to take me to that private locker-room you've hired tonight...."

Mikey: "Sab.....I'm working!"

Sabinite: "You don't have a match tonight.......c'mon, live a little!"

Mikey: "Urghhhh - okay then!"

Sabinite pulls Mikey by the hand, and drags him towards the building.





Re-Cap....

SCW's third Pay-Per-View, ShowDown, saw Shake This become new Gimmick Champion in the first ever Zach Gowen Special.

Mr.Showtime was taken to hospital after he suffered from a Shooting Star Tombstone at the hands of FNS.

And, Bal Bowski conquered 15 other people in the Gold Gauntlet to become No.1 contender to the World Championship! The man in his way? His friend, Ghostface!




The show begins with Sheriff Baz standing in the ring.

Mick Foley: "Hi there folks - this is the tenth edition of TUESDAY NIGHT JINX!! I'm Mick Foley, alongside Dwayne 'The Cat' Dibley, and we take you right down to the ring. Sheriff Baz has something to say."

Sheriff Baz: "Good evening, and welcome to Tuesday Night Jinx. This is the first episode of Jinx to take place in the Chain Games, Diaries & E-Feds section, and I will start off this very show with a VERY important announcement.

"As you may have seen at ShowDown, SCW owner Mr.Showtime was taken to hospital. It's been a week, and he's still in there. Mr.Showtime suffered a fractured skull, people. He is very lucky to be alive.

The crowd applaud. The sick bastards.

"With this news, I have had to make some decisions. As of now, the man running SCW for the forseeable future will be........ME.

"Mr.Showtime got himself into this mess, and I'm not happy that I've had to take over. In fact, I may as well get it off my chest while I'm here - I'm not happy with a lot of things around here.

"I'm angry at FNS for using that darned Shooting Star Tombstone again. I'm annoyed that people think they can come into my office and start brawling, like Firework and ExGensys did two weeks ago. And I'm annoyed at Mikey Richards, but that is an internal matter which I will sort out later.

"Now, I can't do everything on my own, and so I went to great lengths to rectify this. So what I went out and did was hire a deputy. Now, I'm prepared for the potential upset this appointment could cause. But it had to be done, because as far as I'm concerned, a lot of people here need punished.

"Every Sheriff needs a Deputy, and so it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you all.......


















".....NEVERMORE."


* THEME TUNE - 'Before I Die' by Mushroomhead *

Foley: "Whoa! Nevermore is here, in SCW!"

Nevermore walks down the aisle, and into the ring. He is carrying a bag of popcorn.

Sheriff Baz: "I have other business to attend to, so I'll leave you to it. Remember what I told you."

Nevermore takes the microphone, as Sheriff Baz leaves the ringside area.

Nevermore: "Hello to everyone here in Showtime City!!"

The crowd applaud the cheap pop!

"Even though it's Christmas time, that doesn't mean we get to lie back and relax around here. It's time some people bucked up their ideas. Now, last week at ShowDown, you may have seen two men INTERFERE in the Gold Gauntlet. I have since discovered that these men, known as JBL Mark and Corino Punk, are Oldschooler's lackeys, hence coming in and beating everyone up just before his entry number. So, I have to inform the people here tonight that JBL Mark and Corino Punk have been BANNED from the Arena!"

"Now, I don't wanna stand around here talking for long - I have some DVD's to watch in the back....but I'll just remind you all of the main event here tonight! JaYo and Muzza of The Tartan Army will put their Tag Team Titles on the line once again - against the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION Ghostface!....

"...and his partner - the No.1 contender to that very title, BAL BOWSKI!!"

The crowd go nuts!

Foley: "That is gonna be some main event right there!"

Nevermore: "Thank you, and have a nice evening!"

* THEME TUNE - 'Before I Die' by Mushroomhead *

Foley: "Well, a shocking start here on Jinx - Sheriff Baz has taken control of the company in Mr.Showtime's absence, and has hired Deputy Nevermore as PUNISHMENT to the roster members!"

The Cat: "I can see why he'd do that Mick - Nevermore has always criticised people like ExGen and FNS in the past....but I thought they were on good terms now? Seems as though Nevermore will be happy to wind up the roster - he's in control of them, after all."


* BACKSTAGE *

Al Watson: "Hey there folks! I'm Al Watson, your all-NEW backstage gimp, and my very first assignment is to interview the all-NEW Gimmick Champion - Shake This!"

The camera turns to face Shake This. He is wearing a Santa hat, and is arm-in-arm with a couple of festive ho's. The Gimmick title gleams as it lies on his shoulder.

"Shake, last week at ShowDown you defeated Ki Crusher to become the second Gimmick Champion. How do you plan on celebrating that fact tonight?"

Shake This: "Well Al, as you can see...(Shake winks at the festive ho's)...I've been celebrating all week long!

"But, I have something extra-special tonight here on Jinx, for all my pervy fans!"

The crowd cheer!

"Alas, I cannot say much more at the moment. However, when I show up in that ring tonight, Christmas will become so much better all of a sudden!"

Shake This walks off. One of the festive ho's giggles, and the other can be heard saying, 'Oooh I can't WAIT to meet him!'.....

Al Watson: "Hmm....back to you, Mick."


Standing in the ring is newcomer Oldschooler.

* THEME TUNE - 'Power Struggle' by Sunna *


Oldschooler vs FNS
Referee: Kriss Akabusi

FNS stares down Oldschooler. Oldy, wearing a suit, then begins to remove it. Underneath the suit is a pair of dirty baggy jeans with holes in them, and a white t-shirt. Weird.

Kriss Akabusi rings the bell, and FNS and Oldy go at it. At every opportunity, Oldschooler tries to slow things down. He drags FNS to the mat, and locks in head scissors, or any other hold he can apply. FNS meanwhile, tries to use his speed, hitting running elbows, body-blocks etc. But Oldy keeps slowing the match down. The fans ain't too pleased that they don't get to see some FNS offense.

As the match progresses, we see ExGenesys walk down the aisle! Immediately, Oldschooler looks worried, but tries to concentrate on FNS. But FNS sees a weakness here, and eventually his speed moves pay off! ExGen starts dancing on the outside, for no reason, to distract Oldy. FNS connects with a bulldog! He then climbs the ropes, and hits a missile dropkick! Oldschooler is reeling!

As ExGen laughs on the outside, another man runs down the aisle with a steel chair!

It's Haraga!

WHAM! Haraga cracks ExGen on the back with the chair!

Inside, FNS pulls Oldy towards the corner, and pulls him up! He's going for the Shooting Star Tombstone!

Haraga enters the ring, and THROWS the chair at the two men on the top rope!

They fall into the ring, as the ref calls for the bell. Oldschooler rolls out the ring, and FNS stands up in the ring. WHAM!! A chair shot right into FNS' skull!

WINNER: No Contest

But! Haraga ain't finished there! WHAM! A second chair shot to the back, and FNS stays down! The Tartan Army member then performs what is known in the business as 'an X-7' - he DESTROYS FNS with multiple chair shots to the back, side, and legs! He is showing NO REMORSE!!

About seventeen chair shots later, Haraga drops the chair, and simply walks away. The fans are stunned!



The Cat: "Well.....HE sure got out of the wrong side of bed this morning!"



* BACKSTAGE *

We see Squat Rocker and Max Caschera having a heated debate in the corridor.

Caschera: "Look man, we have to think forward! We mucked up at the PPV, there was a lot of pressure on us, and we choked. When it comes to a World Title, you can't trust anyone, and that's why we both failed to beat Ghostface. It's not that he was better than us, but that our tactics were all wrong!"

Rocker: "Get a grip, Max! That's bull. You should be able to trust me, I'm your freakin' tag partner, and have been for years. Yet we haven't won anything since we began tagging, because YOU get greedy! That's why you caused us to eliminate each other from the Gauntlet!"

Caschera: "Whoa.....(sighs) Look. I've been to see Sheriff Baz, and he's agreed with me. We put up a good fight at ShowDown. So.....he's offered us a shot at the Tag Team Titles."

Rocker: ".....The TAG Titles??! I told you before, I'm ABOVE that! I'm WORLD Title material! And you know it!"

Caschera: "You don't have a choice Squat, just get used to it....."

Into view walks The Genius.

Caschera: "What do YOU want?"

The Genius: "Did I just hear you say you've got a tag title opportunity?"

Squat Rocker: "What's it to YOU man? You BLEW your chance at ShowDown - LOSER."

The Genius: "On the contrary - everybody knows that Mikey and I were screwed by the Tartan Army. So.....I just spoke to deputy Nevermore - and he said it's US who are getting a tag title shot."

Caschera: "YOU?! Huh, I don't think so. The only shot you are getting is a shot to the mout......"

Squat Rocker smacks The Genius, and knocks him down! Max then stares at him, and joins in! Squat and Max pummel The Genius in the corridor, chuck him into a table, and then throw him against a door! Squat and Max walk off, as a battered Genius groans in agony on the ground.


* THEME TUNE - 'Boom! Shake The Room' by Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince *

Standing in the ring is the Gold Gauntlet MVP, Firework!

Firework: "Last week at ShowDown, I had a great match with ExGenesys, and was unlucky not to win. Not only that, but I was awarded the Gold Gauntlet MVP by Sheriff Baz - I entered at the very beginning of the match, and was there until the very end. I was very pleased with my performance, and I hope you all were too."

The crowd applaud Firework.

"So, I have come out here to challenge someone. I acknowledge that I was not good enough to become No.1 Contender for the World Title. So I am throwing my hat into the ring.....for the Gimmick Championship. Shake This - I am CALLING you OUT!"

Foley: "Wow! Firework offering a challenge to Shake! This could be interes....."

* THEME TUNE - 'Deeper Underground' by Jamiroquai *

Foley: "Aw God damn - what is HE doing out here?"

Styles Clash walks into the ring. The runner-up in the Gold Gauntlet takes the mic.

Styles Clash: "What the hell are you blabbering on about man? I think you'll find that I was the top man in the Gauntlet - I was the runner-up! And I would've won too, if that darned Bowski didn't CHEAT his way to victory as always!"

Firework: "You haven't proven anything in SCW yet, Clash - except that you can pick on deformed best selling authors. You gotta remember pal - the ONLY reason you even have a job here is because I helped us win Independant's Day II. Without ME, you'd still BE on the indy circuit, jobbing to A-Train."

Styles Clash: "Whatever. I mean, you can't be as good as me - you're not even Canadian. If anyone deserves a title shot around here, it's......."

* THEME TUNE - 'I Touch Myself' by The Divinyls *

The Cat: "Here's the champ, Foley - it's Shake This!"

The new Gimmick Champion, Shake This, stands on the ramp. He is still accompanied by his festive ho's.

Shake This: "Look at all this bickering! This is neither the time nor the place. It's Christmas, for God's sake! Now you two can just stand there and shut up, because I have a surprise for everyone!"

The crowd go 'oooooh' in anticipation!

"I've talked to the men in suits, and I called a relative of mine, and asked him to perform right here in the Showtime Arena!

"So, without further ado, please welcome, performing one of his greatest hits, here is........













"....my UNCLE - Shakin' Stevens!!"

The Cat: "My God."

Shakin' Stevens appears through the curtain and, guitar in hand, he begins to perform his Xmas hit 'Merry Christmas Everyone' to the slightly baffed crowd. Firework and Styles Clash have very confused and annoyed looks on their faces.

Shakin' Stevens:
"Snow is falling
All around me;
Children playing
Having fun;

It's the season
Love and understanding;
Merry christmas, everyone

Time for parties and celebration
People dancing, all night long;
Time for presents
And exchanging kisses......."





BAMMM!!!

Foley: "What the...?! There's Ki Crusher - he's ATTACKING Shakin' Stevens!!"

The crowd laugh as Ki Crusher stomps a mudhole in Shakin' Stevens. Shake This then charges into Ki Crusher, and knocks him down! Inside the ring, Styles Clash and Firework look at each other, then charge up the ramp towards Ki and Shake!

A four-man battle erupts on the stage, while Shakin' Stevens crawls away quietly.

* THEME TUNE - 'I Am The Law' by Anthrax *

The four men stop suddenly, as the new boss, Sheriff Baz, walks through the curtain.

Sheriff Baz: "Just STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! You idiots. You can't help but make fools of yourself can you? Right, I'm gonna sort this out right now. You all seem to hate each other.....Firework eliminated Ki Crusher at the Gauntlet, Styles Clash claims he is the MVP, blah blah blah..... Okay, here's what we're gonna do - tonight, to prove that he is championship material, Firework will take on the former Gimmick Champion, Ki Crusher. And the runner-up of the Gold Gauntlet, Styles Clash, can go one-on-one with the new Gimmick Champion, Shake This!

The crowd like this decision!

"Now, pick yourselves up, and get the hell out of here so you can prepare for your matches. I've another announcement to make."

Foley: "Wow, another announcement? This can't be any bigger than the Nevermore introduction, surely?"

The Sheriff walks into the ring.

Sheriff Baz: "To show how deadly serious I am that SCW is successful under me, I have pulled some strings, and boy, if you think you've been shocked....you ain't seen NOTHING yet.

"I now have a special guest waiting backstage. He will PROVE that SCW is the place to be, and the only place that matters in these forums. We are now pinned on these forums with an e-fed, and although we are completely different, we have to make our intentions clear from the off. And that is why, with great pleasure, I now introduce to the world...........



















"The TWCW REAL World's Champion - LARSSON!!!!"




Foley: "Oh my God Dibley! I can't believe it! There he is! The Swedish Viking is here, on Tuesday Night Jinx!"

The Cat: "Oh man, is THIS gonna upset a lot of people!"

Larsson saunters down the aisle. On his shoulder is the original TWCW World Heavyweight Championship title belt. The master of the Go-Behind steps through the ropes, faces Sheriff Baz.....and gives him a big hug. The fans are stunned!

Foley: "This is surreal, Cat....just too surreal...."

The Cat: ".....wait a minute! I thought these guys were one and the same! That's what I heard anyway."

Foley: "....Nahhhh, the IP scans are different.....well, that's what I'm told..."

Sheriff Baz: "Over to you, Larsson."

The fans chant 'Larsson! Larsson! Larsson!' as he takes the mic.

Larsson: "....Ho ho ho - Merry Christmas!

"I have come to Showtime City on a day-break from journeying around the world - but this stop is the most important of the lot.

"You see, I've watched SCW Jinx. I've watched the PPV's. And I'm impressed. People say that I'm a fraud, a gimmick poster, and so on. Hey, I was just doing my job. I went into TWCW, walked off with their version of the World Championship, and announced that I was willing to defend it wherever, whenever. I cannot help it if I turn up to the building, and find out the show has been postponed. Again.

"I got fed up. It's dull hanging around Coventry waiting for the chance to do what I enjoy most. Just ask Sheriff Baz. Or Peter Ndlovu.

"So TWCW spin things around, and portray me as a cry-baby whos' taken their ball home. That is NOT the way to do things in this business. Oh and by the way, that wasn't me at Made In Britain - it was a stuntman. Like Fake Diesel.

"I've not taken my ball home.....but I have taken home the original TWCW World Title belt.

"Since I won this title, there have been numerous tournaments to try to decide a new champ. Alas, just days ago, the head booker of the promotion went and awarded himself the title, only to lose it seconds later via the 'massively ludicrous screw-job' manouvere. Since the name of the TWCW World Title has been dragged through the mud ever since they tried to strip me unfairly, I'm sure they have no qualms in me doing this....."

Larsson takes the belt off his shoulder, folds it up, and looks at it.

He screws his face up, and SPITS on the title belt! The fans go crazy! As the fans chant 'S-C-Dub! S-C-Dub! S-C-Dub!', Sheriff Baz leaves the ring, looks under the apron, and finds a trash can! He throws it into the ring, and re-enters himself.

Larsson: "You do the honours, mate."

Sheriff Baz takes the mic.

Sheriff Baz: "To symbolise the bastardization of this championship belt, we will now engage in the time-honoured tradition - of ceremoniously dumping the belt in THE TRASH!"

The audience lets out a huge cheer, as Sheriff Baz points to Larsson! Larsson raises the belt infront of him, and drops it into the garbage can!

Sheriff Baz: "Ladies and gentlemen - Larsson! May his travels be full of delight, and hugs."

The fans applaud Larsson as he picks up the trash can, and takes it with him out the ring. He stomps up the aisle and out of sight, to the deafening sounds of 'S-C-Dub! S-C-Dub! S-C-Dub!'

Foley: "Well.....there could be some serious consequences because of this! I hope Sheriff Baz knows what he's doing!"




* BACKSTAGE *

Al Watson enters the office of Nevermore.

Al Watson: "Deputy, can I ask you some questions?"

Nevermore: ".....not if you want to keep your spleen."

Al Watson: "Uhh....well, it's kind of my job, Sir...."

Nevermore: "Ha ha, I'm just kidding, course you can. What's up?"

Al Watson: "How are you settling in here in Showtime City Wrestling?"

Nevermore: "Not bad, not bad. Now, I'm not too fond of the Sheriff at the best of times, but if he wants the stars of SCW punished, then he's come to the right man. Now, after what happened earlier, I already have a match in mind for next week.

"We are gonna have a tag team match.....ExGenesys will team up once again with FNS....

"....to take on Oldschooler......and HARAGA!"

"Oh, and by the way......JBL Mark and Corino Punk......they will be allowed at ringside. I've now officially signed them up, as legal ringside bodyguards for Oldschooler."



Firework vs Ki Crusher
Referee: Ronan Keating

Firework and Ki Crusher have a great cruiserweight-style match, with lots of counters, and high impact moves, and little rest-holds. The whole match stays in the ring too. A very stylish encounter. They both have something to prove, and it shows.

For some reason, for the whole match, Niff is standing at the entrance. She looks very thoughtful.

Foley: "Niff cost Ki his title inadvertantly at ShowDown, and then got them both eliminated in the Gauntlet. I wonder what's going through her mind!

The Cat: "Come on Foley, no sane person cares about what's going on in her head....(!)"

Ki Crusher seems to take the advantage at the end - Firework was in two long matches at ShowDown, and Ki counters a Mexican suplex, and locks in the Ki-Lock submission! After what seems an eternity, Firework grabs the bottom rope, and Ki breaks before the five-count.

Ki senses the end is here, and he shouts out 'It's OVER!' He retreats to the opposite corner, and kneels down, waiting for the Bonfire Knight to get up. He does, and as he turns around, Crusher charges at him!

BAMM! Firework side-steps, Ki Crusher careers into the steel ring-post! He shoots back out, and Firework pounces! He hooks the leg, and performs the Rocket Buster hooked suplex! Firework lands on Ki, hooks the leg, hooks the arms away from the ropes, and the referee counts to three! Firework wins it!

WINNER: Kris 'Firework' Ranger

As soon as the bell rings, Niff claps her hands, then diappears behind the curtains.




* BACKSTAGE *

The new boss, Sheriff Baz, is trying to relax in his office. He looks kinda stressed out. There's a knock on the door.

Sheriff Baz: "Mikey is that you? Come in!"

The door opens. It's not Mikey.

Sheriff Baz: "What the.....what are YOU doing here?!"

Sabinite: "(closing door behind her, and standing against it) Give me a chance! I thought I'd clear the....."

Sheriff Baz: "You STAY the FUCK away from me!"

Sabinite: "Oh come on - you don't even know me."

Sheriff Baz: "I know fine well who you are, and you know it!"

Sabinite walks towards the desk, and she leans over, planting her hands on the table.

Sabinite: "You should know better than most how much the papers can lie, Barry. Besides, that's all in the past. I'm a changed woman now."

Sheriff Baz: "(he stands up and leans towards her) Well....a couple of years in the slammer probably does that to people."

Sabinite lifts a hand, and puts a hand on Baz's cheek. She looks sinister.

Sabinite: "I've found you Barry. And I'm gonna get back what you took away from me. And you know that I will do anything to get it. You've cost me a lot of money Barry. I'm gonna get it back. And if it means being slightly disloyal to people.....then so be it.

Sheriff Baz: "You conniving cow......I am running this place, and I'll put it to you like this - I don't want convicted criminals here. Are you telling me that Mikey Richards has no clue about yo......"

Sabinite grabs Baz's hair!

Sabinite: "My God I swear - if you involve Mikey in any of this, I will do something to you which I will regret for as long as I live."

She pulls his face towards her, and she whispers in his ear. He yanks his head away from her, and she turns to walk out.

"Oh yeah, one last thing Barry..........Merry Christmas."

She blows a kiss, and quietly closes the door. The Sheriff falls back onto his chair in utter disbelief.


The Cat: "Convicted criminal??!"

Foley: "I don't think this problem is gonna leave anytime soon, Cat. That didn't sound good at all."



Non-Title Match
Shake This (Gimmick Champion) vs Styles Clash
Referee: Jeremy Beadle

The new Gimmick champ's mood has totally changed. Earlier today, he was happy, excited at being a champion. Then his uncle got beaten up. Shake clearly takes it out on Styles Clash.

The match quickly goes to the outside, where Shake chokes Styles with a cable! Jeremy Beadle is very lenient here, as Shake takes Styles onto the ramp and basically chucks him into the baricades at the side! Shake then positions Styles for a Pervous Breakdown powerbomb - and he hits it! WHAMM! Styles Clash takes the brunt of it, and he screams out in agony as spine hits cold concrete!

Then, from the side of the ramp, appears Ki Crusher!! He attacks Shake from behind, and begins stomping him! Then down the ramp comes Firework! He goes for Ki, and pulls him away. They fight up the ramp, to the top. Shake This shakes off the cobwebs, and chases down Ki Crusher! As Firework and Shake pummel Ki, Styles Clash somehow recovers from the Pervous Breakdown, and it now becomes a SECOND four-man rumble at the entrance!

Needless to say, Jeremy Beadle has thrown this one out.

WINNER: Double Disqualification

The four men disappear backstage, but the cameras follow them to the back. The four men use everything in their path as weapons, and within minutes, all four are lying on the ground, beaten and bloody.

Mini-Me waddles over, and stares at them. He pulls a phone out of his pocket, dials a number and waits.

Mini-Me: ".....Ambulance, please."




* BACKSTAGE *

Mikey Richards is in his private locker room. Sabinite walks in.

Mikey: "How'd it go, Sab?"

Sabinite: "Fine. Nothing to it. I explained a few things, and.....and I think we'll get on like a house on fire from now on."

Mikey stands up and hugs Sabinite. All we can see is Sabinite's face. She's smiling.

Mikey: "That's good. As long as no-one tries to force you into anything..."

Sabinite: "It's okay Mikey.......everything's under control."




* THEME TUNE - 'R U Ready' by Randy Savage *

SCW World Tag Team Championship
JaYo & Muzza (Tag Team Champions) vs Ghostface & Bal Bowski
w/ CMA
Referee: Rolf Harris

'Big' Bal Bowski's new theme rings out in the arena as the new No.1 contender enters the ring to adoring cheers! He then waits as his tag partner appears.

Announcer Jim Carrey: "His tag team partner - he is still THE World Heavyweight Champion......Ghosssssssssstfaaaaaaaace!!!"

The fans cheer loudly for the champ as he walks to the squared circle. He gives his World Title to the referee, as he looks at Bowski and nods. Bowski stares at the World Title, then offers a hand. The two partners shake hands, and begin warming up for their Tag Title showdown!

* THEME TUNE - 'I'm On My Way' by The Proclaimers *

Out come the Tag Team Champs, JaYo and Muzza, accompanied by their manager, CMA!

Ghostface and JaYo start off, and Ghostface hits some beautiful technical moves to try and make JaYo angry. It works. After the fourth Japanese arm-drag, JaYo tags in Muzza, and Ghostface tags in Bal Bowski!

Bowski and Muzza's tactics are completely different - they batter the hell outta each other! Bowski takes control until JaYo trips him up at the side, and Muzza hits a powerslam with authority!

Muzza and JaYo work on Bowski for the next ten minutes or so, he just can't seem to tag in Ghosty! Ghosty tries to get the fans chanting, which they do.

Finally, Bowski creates an opening - whipped into the corner, he moved as JaYo tried to charge him, and JaYo cracked chest-first into the turnbuckles! Bowski then knocked down Muzza on the apron, and jumped over to tag Ghostface!

Ghostface hops over the top rope, and hits a spinning heel kick on JaYo! Muzza enters the ring, and Ghosty performs a standing huricanranna! He then whips them both into the same corner, and splashes them! Muzza falls down on his stomach, then JaYo falls next, his head landing right in Muzza's backside!

Ghosty tags in Bowski, and he picks up JaYo and throws him out the ring. Ghostface follows. In the ring, Bowski drags Muzza up, but Muzza kicks Bal in the balls while referee Harris is distracted by CMA! CMA then throws in Ghostface's World Title belt! Muzza grabs it, and waits for Bowski to get up. He does, Muzza swings - Bowski sees it coming, and ducks! He kicks Muzza in the gut, Muzza drops the belt - WHAM! Bal-Breaker ONTO the title belt!! Referee Harris finally turns round, Bowski covers Muzza and hooks the leg! One......two......thre.....

Foley: "What the.....what was THAT for??!"

Ghostface just stopped the count at two! He drags Bowski up from Muzza, and BAMM! Ghostface just hit his tag partner with The Seance!! The referee shrugs his shoulders, as Ghostface drags Muzza's arm over Bowski's chest! Harris makes the count - one.....two.....three!! What a shocker! The referee calls for the bell!

Foley: "Tell me this is a mistake! What has Ghostface done??!"

WINNERS and STILL Tag Team Champions: The Tartan Army

CMA and JaYo pull Muzza out from the ring, and grabs their tag titles. Ghostface picks up his World Title from the canvas. Referee Harris tries to pull him away, but Ghosty pushes him to the floor!

The Cat: "I don't know what's going on.....but it's GREAT!"

Bal Bowski pulls himself up - and Ghostface sends him back down again with a shot to the head with the World Title belt! The fans fill the arena with boos as Ghostface stands over Bowski, shouting out, 'Best for business, Bowski! Remember what I said, Bowski!'

Ghostface then quietly leaves the ring, title in hand, among the deafening jeers.

Foley: "My God. Why, Ghostface? Why, champ? Whyyyyyy??!"

Foley falls down on his knees and raises his arms to the sky. The Cat just sits there, bemused, as the cameras fade to black.



* A huge thank you to everyone who provided ideas for the show! *