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| What's Going on with You?; Right this minute. | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 29 2013, 10:16 PM (209 Views) | |
| tink | Jan 29 2013, 10:16 PM Post #1 |
Garrulously Glib
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Tweet all you like.  What's going on with you?
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| Heathen | Jan 30 2013, 05:15 PM Post #2 |
Comfortably Chatty
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I was so close to saying "Nothing good." Because at the current moment, I  have the flu, oh and also have (terrible) cramps this month, too. And, have brain-melting, gut-wrenching, panic-inducing money stress, with a side of insomnia (like you would). And I'm sad because I was supposed to get to meet Marmalade and her sweet little girl this week, and haven't been able to see them because, see "have the flu"  BUT, that's not all accurate, because in spite of all of the foregoing very true and very sucky from where I'm sitting facts, the real fact is that, as usual I am the luckiest damn idiot who ever lived and am incredibly blessed to have such tremendous friends loving and helping support me.  My husband's work is free-lance which leads to lots of "slow" times and there are a few very slow-paying clients, we are not infrequently in the Holy Crap! how will we make it until the next check arrives?!? state and that's where we are now, in a big fat way. And at a really critical time, some of our friends are loaning us money against when the checks show up. Other friends have brought over groceries. Someone I knew online at a different forum and keep up with on facebook just emailed me a Target gift card.  So, I guess here, it's going scary, sick, stressful, and yet supported and loved, which reminds me to breathe and do my best to stay calm. |
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| Reverie | Jan 30 2013, 09:28 PM Post #3 |
Comfortably Chatty
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Heathen, I hope you're feeling better soon. I admire your optimism. For me? Today is the due date of the baby I lost in October. I don't really have any words for that. Otherwise, I am blessed for all the time I spend with my husband and daughter. No big plans right now, just enjoying my family and our life together. |
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| Heathen | Jan 31 2013, 10:46 AM Post #4 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Reverie. Be tender with yourself today (and really, always). 
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| Wsquared | Jan 31 2013, 04:14 PM Post #5 |
Comfortably Chatty
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Reverie -- I am sorry for your loss. Heathen offers good advice. Heathen -- remember that for yourself as well and know that I am thinking of you.  I'm in a perpetual state of grief (with a healthy mix of anger & righteous indignation) right now and I'm feeling so bitter and betrayed that I don't think I can offer much in the way of cheer right now. I am trying to fight past it because my optimism and my faith in other people has always been a fairly integral part of who I am and I don't want to lose that because of one total asshole. But I'm not there yet. My soon to be exhusband is the green smiley and I am the dinosaur in my head --  This is how I feel a lot -- And I also dream of doing this (here I am the green smiley) -- 
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| tink | Jan 31 2013, 06:28 PM Post #6 |
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Garrulously Glib
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Heathen, sorry you're sick.  Reverie, I'm so sorry.  W2, he's a right rat bastard and you just let me know what you need. Me? I'm cranky, tired of my whiny younguns, and PMSing with a giant zit on my face that I've named Howard. Fuck off, Howard. |
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| Reverie | Jan 31 2013, 07:36 PM Post #7 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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You are in my thoughts, Wsquared. Tink, I hope Howard dies a quick death. I had twelve inches of hair cut today and donated it to Locks of Love. It feels weird to cut an entire foot of hair. It's right at my shoulders now, and I think I like it. Had fun with my family at the park afterwards. Edited by Reverie, Jan 31 2013, 07:36 PM.
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| LadyofSherwood | Feb 1 2013, 08:55 PM Post #8 |
Tentatively Talkative
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I'm student teaching English and Social Studies in a elementary/middle school that serves a largely immigrant community in Chicago. So far it's been a good experience, but I'm exhausted keeping track of 160 10- and 11-year-olds and preparing for student teaching, Saturday teaching, and my own university class. Needless to say, I don't have much spare time at the moment. |
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| tink | Feb 1 2013, 09:49 PM Post #9 |
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Garrulously Glib
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Howard showed up with a buddy yesterday. I'm walking around with white dots all over my face. Classy. 
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| Franziska | Feb 3 2013, 01:30 AM Post #10 |
I'm a princess and this is my tiara!
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I have just started a new work from home job as a travel agent. I'm really excited about it and I hope I can make a little bit of supplemental income for my family. |
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| tink | Feb 12 2013, 10:37 PM Post #11 |
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Garrulously Glib
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I am sick, my ILs arrive tomorrow, it's E's birthday tomorrow, and I have to go in and do G's valentine party on Friday. I want to crawl in bed for a week with someone to bring me potato soup.
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| LadyofSherwood | Feb 12 2013, 10:43 PM Post #12 |
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Tentatively Talkative
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I've started applying to jobs! I,ve only got one app in so far and I have another to work on. I'm not sure what my chances are, but I'm at least getting stuff out there. |
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| mystikchick | Feb 16 2013, 11:27 PM Post #13 |
Reticently Reserved
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Hi! Long time no post (again, I know, I'm terrible). I have a job! It's only two days a week at the moment (and I'm hoping it goes back up to three, but we'll see), and while I'm not sure I'll be able to stay at this school next year, I'm loving the experience and I'm a real-honest-to-God librarian! Teaching little kids! On my own! It's exhilarating and validating to see that all my hard work in grad school really paid off in terms of preparing me to do this. I'm currently in India for a friend's wedding. The boy and I just crossed two years together and we're moving in together in August :). Engagement is on the horizon in the not-too-distant future, but I don't know when precisely. All I know is that I was talking about balancing wanting to buy nice kitchen stuff (I cook a LOT, so I consider having good kitchen utensils to be a necessity) when we move in with waiting to put it on a registry (what, I'm shameless), and I was told to wait, so yeah.  Life is pretty good
Edited by mystikchick, Feb 16 2013, 11:27 PM.
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| tink | Feb 17 2013, 12:49 PM Post #14 |
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Garrulously Glib
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Congratulations, mystikchick!
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| LadyofSherwood | Feb 24 2013, 10:24 PM Post #15 |
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Tentatively Talkative
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I have an interview on Wednesday! Wish me luck. I really want that job. |
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| tink | Feb 24 2013, 11:34 PM Post #16 |
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Garrulously Glib
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 I hope you get it!!!
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| Reverie | Feb 25 2013, 03:32 PM Post #17 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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Good luck, LoS! |
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| Zephyr | Apr 1 2013, 04:32 PM Post #18 |
Lusciously Loquacious
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Bumping this thread just to say I'm alive and fine just not having much time for message boards. Happy April fools day, I've not tried to fool anyone but j fooled me twice. |
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| tink | Apr 5 2013, 08:42 AM Post #19 |
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Garrulously Glib
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Hi Zephyr. Today is G's 7th birthday. I cannot believe it. |
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| Franziska | Apr 5 2013, 11:00 AM Post #20 |
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I'm a princess and this is my tiara!
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Seven sounds so old, doesn't it? Sarah's not far behind. It's weird to say "I have a 7 year old". Joe's birthday is tomorrow. He's going to be 4. Allie's is on the 18th and she's going to be 2. Where has the time gone? |
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| Wsquared | Apr 5 2013, 05:04 PM Post #21 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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I'm still getting divorced and I'm still crazy sad and heartbroken. Everyone wants me to just be mad at him -- and I do, of course, have anger -- but mostly I'm just in shock and in mourning for the death of my marriage. I really loved my husband. I still love the version of the husband that I knew. I miss him so much and I feel fucking pathetic for missing someone who treated me so badly. But a few months of awful does not erase 16 years of a shared life together that quickly. He is the man I wanted to grow old with and planned to grow old with and that doesn't go away so easily. I didn't ever want to be divorced. Right now, I'm working crazy hours for tax season and when I leave at 2am, I still secretly hope that I'll pull into the driveway and find his car there because - especially late at night like that -- all I want is to feel his arms around me again. But really, even if he wanted to come back, I don't think I could trust him again or be willing to work on reconciliation. It can't ever be the same and that just makes me cry more...because there is no hope to fix this relationship that meant everything to me. I keep trying to make sense of it when there is nothing about this that makes sense. I keep listening to people who tell me that it wasn't about me, it was about him, and that is why he left and did it the way he did. But it doesn't really make the pain go away. It especially gets to me that he said at the end that he felt like I didn't love him. Once again, in my head, I know that is bullshit and an excuse he made up to absolve him from guilt for this terrible thing he did but sometimes my heart doesn't listen to my head and it is torn apart. I don't know why I'm putting all this here but I just had to put this out there somewhere and I know the people that i usually cry to about this have to be getting exhausted from dealing with me. I feel like I should be getting better but it just feels worse. I feel more broken. I know that when tax season is over and I can move into my new apartment that things will improve. I'll build a new life and have things that bring me happiness. But even thinking about that is upsetting right now. Once I'm in the new life, I'm sure I'll like it fine and probably be happy. But right now? All I can think about is how I didn't want to have to build a new life...I wanted to keep the one I had. So I am mad at the husband for being so weak in so many ways and for abandoning me and betraying me like this and I'm mad at myself for being so pathetic and missing him so much. And I just want to figure out how to make it all STOP!!!! Right now, I don't even expect to feel happy...I would just settle for feeling nothing for a little while. |
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| tink | Apr 5 2013, 07:24 PM Post #22 |
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Garrulously Glib
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Oh, W2, I'm so sorry. I wish so much I lived closer and could just come over with a box of cupcakes and just listen. Or draw chalk targets on brick walls and let you hurl glasses at them, or whatever might make you feel a tiny bit better right now. All I can think of is to try to give yourself permission to feel WHATEVER it is you are feeling in the moment. I cannot imagine there is any way you're supposed to feel right now. I think it's perfectly okay to feel all those things or any one of them or whatever, whenever. That's the only way you'll get through this, I think. You are strong. You are strong enough. Even if you don't feel like it sometimes, your friends believe in you, and it is okay to feel anything at all you need to feel. I wish I could do or say something to help. I absolutely admire and adore you, a lot.
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| Wsquared | Apr 6 2013, 08:05 PM Post #23 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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Thanks, Tink. I appreciate it and I wish we were closer too. I feel like I need every friend I have as close as possible and am cursing the lack of transporters right now. I'm a fucking wreck and I don't know how to fix myself. I read positive messages and tell myself it will all be okay...eventually but it feels like I might not survive until then. Really, basically, I need someone standing next to me almost every minute of every day telling me that it will be okay. I just don't understand why this happened and as much as everyone tells me it wasn't my fault, I don't always believe it and I keep going to this bad dark place that says that I just wasn't enough to make him want to stay and maybe he never really loved me like I loved him. And that just makes me cry so much more. For all the struggles we had over the years, I've always felt like he was my one & only and -- as mad as I am at him for doing this -- I just miss him and I feel like I always will. |
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| tink | Apr 7 2013, 07:23 PM Post #24 |
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Garrulously Glib
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I know it has to feel like part was your fault, but it REALLY was not. Really, truly, honestly. It was not. It was his choice. His shitty, rude, thoughtless, selfish choice. Which I am sure feels like even more of a betrayal because now he's revealed he has a side that is shitty, rude, thoughtless, and selfish. Feh. I can't think of anything worth saying right now that's positive. Call me and I will listen though. I can do that.
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| Disgracing | Apr 10 2013, 03:49 PM Post #25 |
Speaks the language of flowers
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I'm sorry that you're hurting right now, W2. Me? I'm back at TWtM after an extended hiatus. Like, nearly two years. 
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| Wsquared | Apr 10 2013, 06:24 PM Post #26 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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Thanks, Disgracing. It's nice to see you back.  I've missed your posts and we could definitely use some more voices around here. We've been a wee bit quiet (well, I've been loudly wailing in a corner but that hasn't helped advance any conversation). |
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| Reverie | Apr 11 2013, 02:27 AM Post #27 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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Wsquared, I'm thinking of you and sending healing thoughts your way. I would post more in this thread if I thought my life was interesting to others. Nothing particularly newsworthy, and I'm fine with that. |
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| tink | Apr 11 2013, 09:20 PM Post #28 |
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Garrulously Glib
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My children and husband are driving me bananas and I need a break. I need an afternoon out that doesn't involve buying toilet paper. /whine Welcome back, Disgracing. Also, virtual cupcakes for W2.
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| Disgracing | Apr 12 2013, 08:11 AM Post #29 |
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Speaks the language of flowers
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The weather outside is atrocious, but walking in it beats listening to the kids fight at home all day. Sometimes I miss when we lived in that no-horse town, and this magic thing called a school bus stopped at the end of our driveway. |
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| Heathen | May 8 2013, 04:35 PM Post #30 |
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Comfortably Chatty
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Not going to Nashville with Mr. Heathen (for his work) this month (because he'd be so busy I'd be on my own in the hotel, which might sound vacationy to lots of folks but sounds like walking in to walls for someone with low vision), possibly going to Chicago with Mr. Heathen (for his work) next month (where he'll have more down-time and where I'll have a sister-in-law or two to help me see when he's busy). Oh, going to my 30th high school reunion in August, too. My brain is still making this face  at the 30th bit. I've begun working seriously on a kind of fictionalized memoir. I grew up in an amazing place in a remarkable time, I met lots of incredible people. I intend to tweak some details and change all the names to protect the, uh, innocent. Yeah, that's it, the innocent.  |
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7:40 AM May 23