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| Chapter 11; Hurtful words and mournful moves... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 8 2011, 08:36 AM (188 Views) | |
| Crissi Marie | Apr 8 2011, 08:36 AM Post #1 |
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Chapter 11 He tried to go quietly and quickly so his dad wouldn't see him. He made it to the kitchen without being stopped and snarled at; he counted that as a plus. He turned the water on and filled the glass once again. As he turned and started back towards the stairs he saw the plate of cookies. Sammy stopped and stared at the huge platter of cookies his favorites… Bobby had made them for him. He really wanted a cookie. He was really hungry in fact it felt like he was starving. He chewed his lip as he walked over to stand beside the table. Now he could not only see them but he could smell them as well. He blinked a couple of times as his hand snaked out and touched one. As soon as his hand connected he jerked his hand back as if burned by the contact. His breath quickened as he looked around to make sure no one was there to see him. He felt a little like he was stealing even though they were made for him. Sammy slowly reached out once again and took a cookie. He brought up to under his nose and sniffed. His mouth instantly started to water. He practically threw it back on the plate. He couldn't. He didn't want to get fatter. He turned away from the table only to take two steps and turn back around and lunge at the table. He grabbed a hand full of them and then he raced up the stairs and locked himself in the bathroom. After he sat the glass down on the counter he looked at the handful of cookies and thought about throwing them away. But the closer he got to the trashcan the more his stomach growled. Maybe one? He laid the wad of crumbling cookies on the counter and picked up a crumb, sticking it slowly in his mouth… holy shit… that was good. Before he'd really blinked the rest were gone. He'd eat all of them. He felt sick at that realization. No wonder he was a fat slob. He felt so ashamed. What was wrong with him? He walked over to the toilet and looked down. If he threw up now… it would cancel out eating it, wouldn't it? He stuck his finger down his throat until he gagged. After what seemed forever he felt like he'd thrown all of it back up. Nothing else was coming up. He still felt he had to try one last time. A soft knock came to the door as Dean asked quietly, "You okay? Sounds like you're puking up your guts there can't be anything left…" Dean tried the knob. "Sammy?" Sammy looked around in a panic as he thought frantically he couldn't get caught, he just couldn't let Dean see this. He grabbed a towel and swiped at the crumbs on the counter. Throwing it aside he looked in the mirror. He quickly wiped off his mouth with his sleeve as he snaked his other hand out to flush the toilet. "Sammy…" Dean's tone had changed which meant he had about two seconds to open the door or Dean would. With his foot and that would piss off Dad and Bobby. Besides Dean was hurt and doing that would only hurt Dean more. Sammy opened the door just as Dean was lifting his foot. Dean slowly placed his foot back on the floor as he looked worriedly at his brother. "Sammy I thought you were feeling better?" Dean questioned as he looked Sammy over from head to toe. "I was but…" Sammy said with a shrug as he shoved Dean's water into his hand and slid past him for the bedroom. Dean quickly snagged an arm and swung Sammy back around. "TELL me you're really okay?" He asked as he stared deep into his eyes. Sammy felt the tears well up so he looked away and took a couple of deep breaths before he looked back to stare Dean in the eye, "I'm okay Dean…" When Dean didn't look convinced he tried again, "Really, D." Once again he tried to walk away from Dean. "Sammy, I'm telling dad I'm staying besides my back still hurts like a mother." Dean told him solemnly and then he released Sammy's arm. Sammy spun back around to face Dean as he snapped, "I am Sam, not Sammy… If you don't go Dad will get mad at me. He says I need to grow up… how can I do that if you won't let me?" Dean dropped his hand away as he stared at Sammy the hurt evident in his eyes and on his face. Sammy bit his lip as he turned and raced towards their room. Dean stood there wondering if maybe he was holding Sammy back… He hadn't been meaning to but maybe his own need to make sure he kept a promise he made when he was four was standing in Sammy's way. Priority One his whole life had always been to keep Sammy safe. Now both Sammy and Dad wanted it to stop. So suddenly he was supposed to flip a switch and stop. Stop doing what was engrained in him now as automatic as breathing. He scrubbed a hand over his face as he wondered what to do from here. He closed his eyes as he made his decision. He would do what they both wanted. He would be Dad's right hand man and back the fuck off. He turned with sudden anger and punched the wall. But he'd be damned if he had to like it. When he finally went back to the room Sammy was laying on his back with an arm slung across his eyes. Dean stood in the doorway a few seconds before he walked over to Sammy and pulled his arm away from his face. Apparently he really was asleep. Dean frowned as he leaned closer, Shit… it looked like Sammy had cried himself to sleep. He needed to talk… fuck… I'm not going… Dean sighed then continued silently in his head, it's not my business anymore. They have both made that more than clear. He went over to his bottle of pills and took another pain pill with the water still in his hand and lay down to go to sleep. The next morning Dean was shaken awake by his father. Dean looked at him sleepily. John looked at Dean assessing his condition, "You ready to load up?" Dean frowned as he snapped, "I just got woke up by you, what do you think?" John grinned as he told Dean, "smartass. Ready in five…" and he stood up. "Why do you suddenly have a fire under your ass?" Dean asked his dad. "Another couple hikers went missing, Caleb just called." John told him with a hint of excitement at the thought of the chase. Dean grinned as he told his dad, "So you don't need me." "Yes I do. It's a four man job. You, me, Caleb and he called Jim in. They are already there. So we need to get on the road." John told him firmly. "Are you sure I won't be in the way? With my back…" Dean began as he tried to find a way out of going without actually saying he didn't want to go. John looked away guiltily before he turned back and said, "I think you can keep up." Dean nodded and sat up. He looked around at Sammy. Sammy was awake, he knew that. But he also knew that Sammy didn't want their dad to know he was awake. But both Sammy and Dad wanted him to distance himself he reminded himself. So he stood and walked out of the room not speaking to either one of them again. He wanted desperately to run back in and say goodbye or hell even stay behind with Sammy. He sighed as he looked back towards the bedroom before he went into the bathroom and shut the door. Locking it he leaned against it, he had to go. He'd take the pain pills to make him mobile and he'd pretend that he wasn't spending the whole time worrying about what was wrong with Sammy and why he wouldn't talk to him. He pulled his toothbrush out of the cabinet. They both had stuff like that here in the upstairs bathroom, it made it a lot more convenient when dad forgot to leave stuff here for them when he dropped them off at Bobby's and took off without getting out of the car. Dad rapped sharply twice on the door, "Get the lead out Dean, we're out in five." Then he heard his dad stomp down the hall. Dean brushed his teeth and decided maybe it was time to grow up and be more like Dad. That seemed to be what everyone wanted. So no more babying his baby brother. No more making sure he brushed his teeth, did his homework, ate his dinner and got enough sleep. Dean would be responsible for Dean. He sighed as he put away his toothbrush and leaned against the sink, looking in the mirror… Who was he if he wasn't the protector anymore? Where did he fit in if he wasn't Sammy's big brother? Sammy didn't want him around anymore for the job. "Dean. Move your ass, boy!" John bellowed from downstairs obliviuos to his oldest's turmoil. TBC |
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9:33 AM Jul 11