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Chapter 23; Doodles and Dean...
Topic Started: May 1 2011, 01:20 PM (77 Views)
Crissi Marie
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Chapter 23

"Well?" Bobby asked impatiently as he tapped his foot while he waited.

"Umm." Dean murmured as he concentrated on the paper he held in his hand. The page was so full of scribbles that things were run together. This was the most upset he'd ever seen Sammy in his doodles. There was a letter 'D.' (himself) with a 'J' (dad) getting into a car (impala) and leaving 'S' (Sammy) and a huge house with a 'B' (Bobby) on the porch.

But the 'J' holding a knife and slashing at the 'S' with blood? Was that blood? Squirting out? What the hell did that mean? Dad had never attacked Sammy with a knife that he would remember. Another 'J' in the woods maybe? The thing he wouldn't talk about? He chewed his lower lip as he looked at the rest of the page.

He'd drawn the letter 'D' throwing little m's at the letter 'S'. The night he'd thrown M&M's at Sammy. Ok, that one was easy enough to figure out.

He also wondered about the 'S' that resembled a puffed up marshmallow. What the hell did that one mean? Then a needle or something sharp was being poked at the puffy 'S' until it became a small barely visible 's'.

"Dean?" Bobby was waving a hand in front of his face as he tried to get Dean's attention.

"What?" Dean asked still distracted as he tried to figure out what it all meant.

"Why don't you just ask Sammy?" Bobby asked as he led Dean back into the library and into a seat.

"No… no… "Dean mumbled focused solely on the doodles as he studied the page.

Dean finally after another five minutes folded the paper and put it in his pocket then he stood and started with a determined stride towards the door to the hallway.

"Dean." Bobby called out to him.

Dean looked back at Bobby as he stopped to hear what Bobby had to say.

"What do you think about it?" Bobby asked with a nod of his head at Dean's pocket.

"Don't know yet." Dean said as he turned and walked back to the stairway.

Bobby followed him only to stop in the doorway.

"What did they say they thought it was?" Dean asked while he purposely avoided looking at Bobby.

"Dean." He was hoping he had forgotten. Or at least he was distracted and had forgotten for the moment.

"Bobby." Dean used the I'm tired and please give me a straight answer tone.

"Cancer, Dean." Bobby shook his head as he waited for Dean's reaction, it was the last thing Bobby wanted to tell him.

Dean swallowed visibly but said nothing as he turned and walked up the stairs. Cancer? Dean stumbled up the stairs as he tried to comprehend what this meant for them. He was going to loose Sammy to something he had no idea how to fight? How could you fight something you could not see? This was not a monster he knew how to kill.

But Bobby had said they'd run all the tests and hadn't found anything. So where had a diagnosis of cancer come from? It didn't make sense. He couldn't help but think he was missing something important. A big piece of the puzzle of what was wrong with his brother. Dean sighed as he walked aimlessly down the hallway while thinking, This is fucked up. He ran a hand through his hair as he wondered how exactly he was going to fix this mess. Could he?

Dean went into the bathroom and as he closed the door behind him he stood there with his good hand pressed against the door. Leaning into the door he closed his eyes and bowed his head as he let a tear slid down his cheek. Who gave a shit if dad thought it was weak. He was here dealing with it all… so who was really the weak one?

God, he was so tired. His head, hand and heart felt like they were on fire. He didn't even notice when he started shaking. All he could see was his little brother the first time he'd ever smiled at him, when he thought Dean was mamma and when he got his first scraped knee. He rested his head against the door as he tried to control his emotions. This was not helping his little brother. Standing in the bathroom feeling sorry for himself.

He pushed himself away from the door and took the paper back out of his pocket. He slowly unfolded it as he opened his eyes and traced an index finger over the doodles Sammy had made. He knew Sammy was trying to talk through this to people who hadn't been listening. He'd been an ass and let his feelings get hurt as he had willingly walked away from someone he'd sworn to protect no matter what.

Sammy wasn't like them. He was like mom. He needed watched and protected. He knew logically that he'd been too young to save their mother but that didn't help the hole get any smaller that had been left behind by her death. Sammy was the good in their fucked up world. The only innocence left in his life. Lord knew his had died long ago.

He looked again at the paper a deflated Sammy to the point of disappearing kept drawing his eye. He frowned as he lifted the paper closer to his face. So, Sammy felt small? He was small he was the baby of the family. Nothing new there.

He remembered the night before they came to Bobby's house when Sammy had told him, "I'm nothing like you… it's nice of you to say though." He bit his lip.

He jumped as a knock sounded on the door. "Shit." He mumbled as he folded the paper and carefully pocketed it once again.

A second knock sounded and a jiggle of the door handle.

He backed away from the door and leaned against the sink as the door slowly swung open. Sammy tilted his head to the side and asked, "Why didn't you answer?"

"Busy." Dean commented with a smirk.

"Ewh…" Sammy responded exactly as Dean expected.

"Gutter boy." Dean said with a smile as he tried for a chuckle.

"Bobby's looking for you." Sammy commented.

"So, he sent you to hunt me down? Shouldn't you be in bed?" Dean asked worriedly.

"I have to pee, D. Can you leave now?" Sammy asked as he hopped from one foot to the other.

"I don't know if…" Dean started worriedly.

Sammy pointed at the door and said with a smile, "Get out… jerk."

"Look like a strong breeze would knock you over." Dean stated not bothering to move.

"I will go straight back to bed." Sammy bargained.

"Holler if you need me." Dean said with a frown as he walked out the door.

"Jerk." Sammy replied as he slammed the door in Dean's face.

"bitch." Dean commented.

"I heard that." Sammy said with a giggle.

"girl." Dean muttered as he went to the top of the stairs and hollered down at Bobby, "You looking for me, Uncle B?"

"Yeah," Bobby yelled back from the kitchen there was a slight pause before he added, "Come here a minute."

"Give me a sec. I'll be down in a minute." Dean responded before he turned and went back to the bedroom and made sure Sammy was back in the room. He was lying down with his eyes closed.

He took a couple steps away from the door and further into the room as he told Sammy, "Heading downstairs for a few, yell louder if you need anything."

He heard Sammy sigh before replied, "K, D."

TBC
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