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| Chapter 26; Dean wants his why... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 1 2011, 01:25 PM (72 Views) | |
| Crissi Marie | May 1 2011, 01:25 PM Post #1 |
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Chapter 26 Dean walked back into the bedroom as Bobby went back downstairs to talk to John. "Hey, jerk. That juice gone yet?" Dean asked as he sat down beside Sammy on the bed. "You're the jerk… not me." Sammy muttered as he lifted the glass to his lips to prove to Dean he was drinking it. "Just checking to see if you were paying attention." Dean said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He watched Sammy as he thought about the best way to begin their talk and then he bit his lip before he finally asked, "If I ask you something will you tell me the truth?" Sammy frowned as his eyebrows scrunched up before he managed to stutter out, "I… what?" "Did you hear Bobby and Dad talking the night I found you in the woods?" Dean asked as he watched his brother's facial expressions. Sammy looked down at his glass before he nodded once. "Why didn't you come back to me?" Dean asked sounding hurt but not taking his eyes off his little brother. "D…" He said in a whine as he looked down in shame. "No, Sammy I need to know." Dean demanded with the hurt remaining in his eyes. "I never knew Dad felt that way about me." He whispered as a tear slipped down his cheek. "What? What way?" Dean asked surprised at the tear that ran down Sammy's cheek. His brother didn't say anything and didn't look up. "Sammy? Why'd you run?" Dean questioned as he reached out to touch his arm. He shook his head no. "Sammy?" Dean said in a stern tone as he grasped his arm causing him to try to turn away from his big brother. Dean held him in place as he asked, "Why didn't you come back to me?" Sammy sighed as he spoke so quietly that Dean had to lean in to hear him, "I was… I." He sighed again before he started over, "If Dad felt that way and never told me… I was… I didn't." He finally stopped again as he bit his lip until he tasted blood. "You were afraid I felt that way too?" Dean guessed as he loosened his grip on his brother's arm. Sammy nodded as more tears fell. Dean took his good hand and swiped at his tears as he asked, "Have I ever lied to you?" "No." Sammy said automatically as he looked Dean in the eye. "Then trust me when I say I never… You're the best little brother anybody could have. I lucked out when I got you." Dean stared intently into his little brother's eyes as he spoke again, "I always thought you were in fine shape and now I'm worried that you're too thin." Sammy couldn't help it, he couldn't keep looking at Dean knowing what he'd done, "I…" A strange look came over Dean's face as he stopped talking and stared at his little brother. At the prolonged silence Sammy looked up to see Dean staring at him with an unfocused, slightly dazed look in his eyes. Sammy blinked at Dean as he watched his brother. After a few seconds he reached out and touched Dean's cheek, "D? You okay?" Dean shook himself as he told Sammy abruptly, "Drink your juice." "But…" Sammy sounded confused as he tried to figure out what was going on with Dean's sudden change in tone. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Dean suddenly asked, "Why Sammy?" as his face took on an almost pained expression. "What?" Sammy asked as he frowned at his big brother. "Why did you do this?" Dean asked in a voice that sounded close to breaking. "Huh? I don't…" He tried to say but stopped and stared at Dean's odd behavior. Dean had jerked away and stood up as he backed up a couple of steps before he said again, "You…" He pointed at Sammy as he demanded, "tell me you didn't make yourself sick…" Dean felt a whole body shiver as he closed his eyes. God, he begged silently, please let me be wrong. After taking a deep breath Dean looked at him again. He was surprised at how pale Sammy had become. "I…" He sat the glass down on the side table. "Sammy… don't even think of lying to me." Dean ordered in a low voice. His little brother ran a hand over his mouth as he told Dean, in a defeated voice, "I just wanted to be a part of the family." "Sammy, you are the most important part." Dean stated firmly. Sammy smiled sadly as he told his hero, "Maybe to you. But I doubt it. You and Dad are a team. Partners. You don't need me." Dean bolted across the room and grabbed him by the shirt front as he growled, "I need you." He gave Sammy one slight jerk forward, "You stupid... I need you." he repeated as he let go and once more backed up a step. Dean flexed his fist open and closed as he tried to calm his breathing. "I'm in the way." Sammy stated as he pulled at a thread on his blanket, "I was too fat to keep up with you guys." He rushed out before he added softly, "That makes me a liability." Dean took a deep breath. He really wanted to hit something. "Shit." He muttered "And you decided to fix it how?" Dean snarled as he felt the anger rise like an angry tidal wave of fury before he snapped, "By taking yourself out of the equation?" "No." Sammy looked down as he sighed and then told his brother, "I wanted to make myself… I wanted to be what you guys needed so you'd want me around." He rushed out the last sentence and then bit his lip as he waited for Dean's reply. "God. Sammy." Dean tried to hold back all the emotions that had surged forward. He hadn't helped that. He had chosen to stay with some random girl instead of his brother. He'd told Sammy he'd have more fun with Bobby than with them. Everything he'd said to his little brother only cemented his belief that he was unwanted. "I always want you around." Dean said as he ran a hand through his already messed up hair, "Don't you get it… if you aren't here…" Dean shook his head as his lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry… once it started I couldn't stop." Sammy said and as he glanced at Dean he told him sincerely, "I didn't mean to hurt you." "Me? What about you? Did you mean to hurt you?" Dean asked before he rushed on, "Cause dude… I gotta tell you. Bang up job on that one." amd then threw his hand up in the air in frustration. "I'm sorry." Sammy said while he swung his legs over the side of the bed he stared intently at the floor feeling the sting of unshed tears. "You've earned a new shadow." Dean stated firmly with a determined glint in his eye. "What?" Sammy asked as he chanced a startled glance at Dean. "You won't be able to make a move without me being there." Dean clarified for him. "Why?" Sammy whispered softly. "Bitch… can you honestly ask me that?" Dean asked tilting his head slightly as he watched his brother. "But you didn't even… It was suppose to be… I was supposed to be fixed before you got back." Sammy stuttered out. "Dude, there was nothing wrong with you to begin with." Dean stated tiredly. "I read too much." Sammy said with a slight smile. "Awh, well there is that." Dean said with a tiny grin of his own. "You say I snore." His baby brother added. "You do." Dean agreed as he walked over and made Sammy get back in bed and handed him his juice. "Dean… I don't want to…" He begun only to be cut off by Dean. "Ask me if I give a shit." Dean growled gently,"Bobby hand squeezed that orange juice. Do you want to hurt his feelings?" He asked his eyes stormy. "No." Sammy said looking down again. Dean sighed as he told him, "I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm going to say this once… are you listening?" Sammy nodded. "If you ever do anything this stupid again I won't be held responsible for my actions." Dean told him frankly. Sammy bit his lower lip as he listened to his older brother. "And I'm sorry for my part in you feeling like you weren't good enough." Dean said sadly. "D… it wasn't." Sammy started to say because he didn't want his brother to think any of what had happened was his fault. "Did I say I was done?" Dean asked in a clipped tone. Sammy shook his head no. "I should never have left you. I let my feelings get hurt so I left. I tried to call and apologize instead I should have come back." Dean told him his voice full of remorse. "No… this isn't your fault." Sammy rushed out; afraid he wouldn't get to say it. "Not done, bro." He waited for him to quit wiggling. "Sorry." Sammy whispered softly. "Anything… and I mean anything happens to you and I don't want to be here." Dean said and stared intently at his brother. "D, you can't." Sammy said with a gasp of the thought of something happening to his big brother. "Then you can't either." Dean said firmly. "I don't know if I can fix this." Sammy admitted tiredly. "I will." Dean declared firmly. "Dean." He said gently. "Sammy." Dean countered. Sammy looked at Dean and then lay back tiredly. "You rest and then you can drink the juice when you wake up." Dean told him after looking him over to make sure he was okay. "K…" Sammy said softly with a smile for his brother before he slowly closed his eyes. Dean watched as Sammy fell asleep and then reached out and ran a hand through his little brother's hair; He didn't bother to hide the tears as they ran silently down his cheeks. They had almost lost him and that was not acceptable. He'd be damned if it would ever happen again! TBC |
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9:32 AM Jul 11