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Dog and Cat Diaries
Topic Started: Jul 30 2008, 02:27 PM (270 Views)
XNavyGunner
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Gunner

Dog Diary:


8:00 am - Dog food! ... My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! ... My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! ... My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! ... My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! ... My favorite thing!

1:00 PM- Played in the yard! ... My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! ... My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! ... My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! ... My favorite thing!

8:00 PM- Wow! Watched TV with the people! ... My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! ... My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. The hash tastes like a slurry of chicken teeth, claws, and half rotten fish liver.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat the crap to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In another attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet and hacked up a pretty decent hairball.

Today I ripped the head off a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. ... Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.

He is obviously retarded.

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Isis
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The Goddess of Darkness & Desire

OMG that sounds so like my cat's....I love this Gunner it made my day sweetie...
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Isis, The Goddess of Desire & Darkness. In The Darkness, We Find The Light.

This is a Drama Free Zone..!
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Mystical
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:lmao: I've heard this one before but :lmao: Me and my oldest daughter can recite half of it. It also made my day XNavy ...I haven't heard it in a while
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nativechick1989
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Boss
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
:rofl: Cats Rock!!
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LarryOldtimer
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The Man!!!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Once upon a long, long while ago, in ancient Egypt, cats were worshiped as gods and goddesses. The cats remember quite well. Perhaps cats still are . . . gods and goddesses, that is. Cats sure do act as if this were so.
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