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| Dog and Cat Diaries | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 30 2008, 02:27 PM (270 Views) | |
| XNavyGunner | Jul 30 2008, 02:27 PM Post #1 |
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Gunner
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Dog Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! ... My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! ... My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! ... My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! ... My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! ... My favorite thing! 1:00 PM- Played in the yard! ... My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! ... My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! ... My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! ... My favorite thing! 8:00 PM- Wow! Watched TV with the people! ... My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! ... My favorite thing! CAT DIARY: Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. The hash tastes like a slurry of chicken teeth, claws, and half rotten fish liver. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat the crap to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In another attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet and hacked up a pretty decent hairball. Today I ripped the head off a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. ... Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top of the stairs. I am convinced the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. |
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| Isis | Jul 30 2008, 05:20 PM Post #2 |
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The Goddess of Darkness & Desire
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OMG that sounds so like my cat's....I love this Gunner it made my day sweetie... |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Isis, The Goddess of Desire & Darkness. In The Darkness, We Find The Light. This is a Drama Free Zone..! | |
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| Mystical | Jul 31 2008, 04:46 AM Post #3 |
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I've heard this one before but Me and my oldest daughter can recite half of it. It also made my day XNavy ...I haven't heard it in a while |
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| nativechick1989 | Jul 31 2008, 05:14 AM Post #4 |
Boss
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Cats Rock!!
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| LarryOldtimer | Aug 4 2008, 08:34 PM Post #5 |
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The Man!!!
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Once upon a long, long while ago, in ancient Egypt, cats were worshiped as gods and goddesses. The cats remember quite well. Perhaps cats still are . . . gods and goddesses, that is. Cats sure do act as if this were so. |
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| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
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I've heard this one before but
Cats Rock!!

6:56 AM Jul 11