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| Le Quote Thread | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 19 2008, 11:04 AM (1,859 Views) | |
| +RobotDevilRox | Apr 24 2008, 11:33 AM Post #31 |
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Grammar Girl
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XD Stuff like that happens to my brother all the time, he's become obsessed with the thing.
Once he told iGod his name was Jesus. Once he managed to convince iGod that he iGod himself.
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"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!" "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions* | |
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| Pokemachine | May 11 2008, 05:11 AM Post #32 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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*Me and Loser 1 are explaining Russian Reversals to Loser 4 and 5* Loser 4: So, say, in Soviet Russia, the TV turns you on and watches you? |
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| SonicPanther | May 11 2008, 08:24 AM Post #33 |
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Futurama Guru
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Okay. Last night, all four of us were at the bowling alley until about 7:30, at which time we noticed Ally Sheedy, the Goth chick from the Breakfast Club, was bowling in the lane next to us, and we asked her for her autograph, but she didn't have a pen, so we followed her out to her car, but on the way we were accosted by five Scientologists who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the Scientology Center in Denver until 10:45, at which time we accidentally boarded the wrong bus home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock, and finally got a ride home with a man who was missing his left index finger, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46. |
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-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess ![]() | |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 17 2008, 04:12 PM Post #34 |
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I love quotes! These two are in my email signature right now: "It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same can be said for Bugs Bunny and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around till long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us." -- Kyle Broflovski, South Park: "Imaginationland Episode III" "I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees' payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, every-everything that exists, past, present, and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions! [pause] Oh, and Hugh Jackman."-- Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs: "My Old Friend's New Friend" |
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| SonicPanther | May 17 2008, 04:21 PM Post #35 |
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Futurama Guru
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Me: Your name is Santa. God: My name is God. Me: Your name is Santa. God: My name is God. Me: YOUR NAME IS SANTA. God: My name is God. Me: YOUR NAME IS SANTA! God: My name is God. Me: NO. God: Are you serious? Me: YES. God: I can't believe it. Me: YOUR NAME IS SANTA. God: My name is God. Me: GODDAMMIT!!! |
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-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess ![]() | |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 17 2008, 04:25 PM Post #36 |
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Dr. Cox: I want you to spread the word, missy. I've - had - enough. The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I'm going to hurt them. And you, you neurotic, one-woman freak-show, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel. Elliot: So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles. Thanks, Dr. Cox. Dr. Cox: (confused) You're welcome. -- Scrubs: "My Best Friend's Mistake" I do love Dr. Cox's rants. |
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| +PazuzuJr | May 18 2008, 02:57 AM Post #37 |
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Haha - I love Dr. Cox. My fave rant of his is the one about the tortoise and the pain in the ass chief of medicine that everybody hates. |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 19 2008, 07:07 AM Post #38 |
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That one is hilarious. His hate for Kelso is the best. Dr. Cox: Mr. Warner, do you see what you've made me do? By once again choosing to spend all of your free time out on the surface of the sun until melanoma has developed, you have forced me to pull the attending dermatologist away from his bacne seminar and validate his most ridiculous of career choices. Dermatologist: Ehhhh! Dr. Cox: Oh god. Mr. Warner: I just want to look good. Dr. Cox: You, my friend, look so da.mn leathery I'm honestly tempted to wrap ya around a baseball, cinch ya up with a belt, and stick ya under my mattress so that you're good and broken in for the big game on Sunday. Buut, since I'm here to heal not judge, I'm gonna go ahead and write you a couple of prescriptions. You'll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet to help ya pound some sense into yourself. [Rips it off and throws the paper at Mr. Warner] The second one is for a big floppy hat that you're now to wear every single time you leave the house. [Throws it at Mr. Warner] Have a great day, ya look like a purse! -- Scrubs: My Boss's Free Haircut and for Pazuzu, the actual rant: Dr. Cox: You know, Bob, I've been thinking of all the times you manipulated me and toyed with me and I can't help but recall that children's fable about that race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-medicine-that-everybody-hates. You see, Bob, the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-medicine-that-everybody-hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him, but right at the end... oh, gosh I'm sure you remember what happened Bob, the tortoise bit clean through the Chief of Medicine's calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive right there on the racetrack. It's a disturbing children's book, Bob, I know, but it's one that stuck with me nonetheless. Dr. Kelso: Buzzy, buzz, buzz... Dr. Cox: I... beg your pardon? Dr. Kelso: Oh, uh, that's the sound of all the bees in your bonnet. And, Perry, even though I couldn't give a rat's ass, I still think it's a pretty sound! -- Scrubs: My Overkill |
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| Pokemachine | May 19 2008, 08:12 AM Post #39 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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Dr Cox is great, but I personally favour the Janitor. D'you stick a nickel in there? |
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| +PazuzuJr | May 19 2008, 11:48 AM Post #40 |
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lol - I forgot Dr. Kelso's line after that rant. Almost as funny as the rant
I like Kelso. I was sad when he got fired/quit :(I like Dr. Cox's song in My Musical:Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is a lot Should I list the reasons why? Well, I don't see why not It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face You always need a hug Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex And, oh my God, stop telling me when you have nerdy sex! ... See now, Newbie, that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree 'Cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be! So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one No, I'm not the only one ... So now that is why I call you names like Carol, Jane, and Sue Like Moesha, Kim, and Lillian, Suzanne and Betty-Lou See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are quite clear You're a pain in every day of every month of every year! |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 19 2008, 04:40 PM Post #41 |
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I cried watching the episode where Kelso quit. Mainly him saying thank you to Ted. I'm like J.D.; I'm a sensi.
J.D.: (To a depressed, drunken Dr. Cox.) I tried to convince myself the reason I didn't come in before was because of you coming into work drunk. But that's not it. I was scared. I guess after all this time, I still think of you as like this super hero, who will help me out of any situation I'm in. I needed that. But that's my problem, you know? And I'll deal with that. I guess I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am. Not because you did the best you could for those patients, but because after 20 years of being a doctor, when things go badly, you still take it this hard. And I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's the kind of doctor I want to be. -- Scrubs: My Fallen Idol I got teary eyed with this one. And with the next one, I CRIED/BAWLED like a baby: [Nurse Roberts is in an unresponsive coma with her condition worsening by the second after a major car crash [the previous episode] [Carla enters Hospital Room] Nurse Roberts as an apparition to Carla: [To Carla] Go on girl. You can do it. Carla: Wow. I'm still not ready to do this.. It's gonna be so weird not having you by my side. Making fun of the other doctors, going on and on about Jesus.. Man, I hope he's real, or you're gonna be pissed! Remember my first day, when that patient started bleeding out all over me, and I was so shocked, I could barely move? But you stood by my side and guided me through it, and then you did the most amazing thing.. You made me laugh. For the last fifteen years you've been my role model but most of all you've been my friend, and I don't know what else to say...but I'm really really gonna miss you. [She bends over to kiss her cheek] Carla: Goodbye. JD's Voiceover: You can ask any doctor, sometimes it seems like patients just hang on until everyone's had a chance to say goodbye. [Beep] [Beep] [Flatline] -- Scrubs: My Long Goodbye |
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| SonicPanther | May 19 2008, 04:43 PM Post #42 |
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Futurama Guru
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I now feel obligated to watch Scrubs. |
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-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess ![]() | |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 19 2008, 07:40 PM Post #43 |
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You don't have to watch Scrubs if it doesn't suit your fancy. I like it because J.D. is basically a male me and Dr. Cox is just so effing hot, I'm warm just watching the show. Oooh, here's a good quote that makes me a little sad but I love it so much... [South Park Synangogue, night. A main door opens and Stan enters] Stan: Kyle? [at the front of the synagogue, Kyle sits in the first pew right, and a shaft of moonlight shines down on him from the rose window over the altar. Stan approaches] Dude, what are you doing here? Everybody's looking for you. Kyle? Kyle: [not turning around, voice quivering] Do you know what happened to me this morning, Stan? This morning... I woke up and felt a sharp pain in my ass. I felt down there and, and found this... big sore lump. On my ass, Stan. I couldn't even sit down, so... I, I had to tell my mother, which, which was humiliating. She took me to the doctor, which was more humiliating, a- a- nd he told me. I-I have a hemorrhoid. It's like an infected blood vessel on your ass. I'm nine years old, and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan. I have a hemorrhoid, and, Cartman has his own theme park. Stan: Kyle, I, I understand what you mean, but- Kyle: [leaves the pew to face Stan, teary-eyed] Do you?! Do you, Stan?! Because all my life I was raised to believe in Jehovah! To believe that we should all behave a certain way and good things will come tu us. I make mistakes, but every week I try to better myself. I'm always saying, "You know, I learned something today..." and what does this so-called God give me in return? A hemorrhoid. He doesn't make sense! [to God] What is your logic?! [feels a pang in his ass] Ow. [tends to the pain] Stan: Look. Cartman... he thinks he's gonna be happy because he has his own amusement park, but, he's gonna find out that without other people, the rides are totally lame. I mean, who could really have fun by themselves at a theme park? I'll bet he's sick of it already. -- South Park; Cartmanland I love this scene so much. It's one of my favorites. Kyle: We're all here today because Chef has been such an important part of our lives. A lot of us don't agree with the choices Chef has made in the past few days.Some of us... feel hurt... and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the last week take away the memories of how much Chef made us smile. I'm gonna remember Chef as the jolly old guy who always broke into song. I'm gonna remember Chef... as the guy who gave us advice to live by. So you see, we shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us. We should be mad at that little fruity club for scrambling his brains. -- South Park: Return of Chef And of course, one of my major favorite scenes in South Park season 10: [The Office of the FOX President. He's on the phone] FOX President: Network Control! This is the President! I want you to pull the episode. Woman: [whispers] What? [in normal tone] Mr. President, are you sure? [the other programmers look at her] FOX President: I'm sure. Begin episode jettison sequence 0 2 900. [two programmers raise their access keys and insert them into corresponding locks in their desks, then turn the keys. Between their desks is a big red "PULL EPISODE" button. Its lid pops up and it begins flashing] Computer Voice: Abort System initiated. Programmer 1: Awaiting confirmation. Woman: Mr. President, we need your final approval code. FOX President: President approval code [Kyle runs past the office, but notices and comes back] 0-0-destruct- Kyle: [runs in and interrupts] Sir! Mister television executive! Stop! FOX President: Who are you? Kyle: Listen to me: the little boy who convinced you to pull the episode is a bastard child. He only wants you to pull it because he knows it will be the end of Family Guy forever! FOX President: The end of Family Guy? Woman: Mr. President, we need final authorization! FOX President: Hold on, Julie! [covers the transmitter] What are you talking about, kid? Kyle: Pulling an episode because someoen is offended starts a chain reaction. You'll have to pull more and more episodes until the show goes off the air completely. It's what happened to Laverne & Shirley FOX President: You mean... the manatees aren't trying to run the network? Kyle: What manatees??!! [a fist knocks him away and Cartman steps in] Cartman: Go ahead, Mr. President! Continue what you were doing! Kyle: [quickly rises] No! You have to show Mohammed, Mr. President! Woman: Mr. President, we're awaiting your orders! Kyle: Sir, just think about what you're doing to free speech! Cartman: No! Think about the people who could get hurt! FOX President: Ah... I don't know who to listen to! Cartman: Okay, I'll make it easy for you. [pulls out a gun and aims it at the president] Pull the Mohammed episode, now! FOX President: Okay, I'll listen to you. [gets back to the phone] Julie? Kyle: Noo! Wait! You can't listen to him! He's a lying deceitful monster who only wants Family Guy off the air! FOX President: But he has a gun. Kyle: You can't do what he wants just because he's the one threatening you with violence! Cartman: Shut up, Kyle! FOX President: I can't be responsible for people getting hurt. Especially me. Kyle: Yes, people can get hurt. That's how terrorism works. But if you give into that, Doug, you're allowing terrorism to work. Do the right thing here. Cartman: Give the orders to pull the episode, Mr. President! FOX President: I shouldn't even be in the office still. It's supposed to be half-day Friday. Woman: Mr. President, thirty seconds to airtime. What do you want us to do?! Kyle: Do the right thing, Mr. President. FOX President: How about I allow the episode to air but, just censor out the image of Mohammed again. Kyle: I wish that was good enough, but if you censor out Mohammed, then soon you'll have to censor out more. Cartman: No gay speeches, Kyle! Kyle: If you don't show Mohammed, then you've made a distinction what is okay to poke fun at, and what isn't. Either it's all okay, or none of it is. Woman: Five seconds, Mr. President! [the programmer J. Walker has his finger hovering on the button] Kyle: [softly] Do the right thing. Show Mohammed. [Cartman still has his gun on the president] Do. The right. Thing. -- South Park: Cartoon Wars Part 2 |
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| SonicPanther | May 20 2008, 03:29 PM Post #44 |
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Those are more like scenes than quotes... ...I don't mind [Kyle's house, next day. Cartman approaches the front door in a nice sweater and rings the bell. Kyle answers] Cartman: [looking quite presentable] Hi Kyle. [smiles] Kyle: [studies Cartman a bit, but isn't impressed] That isn't it, Cartman. Cartman: What isn't it? Kyle: That's not being nice! That's just putting on a nice sweater! Cartman: ...I don't understand the difference. Kyle: I know you don't. [steps back and slams the door on Cartman's face] |
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-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess ![]() | |
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| +AshleyBenlove | May 20 2008, 05:37 PM Post #45 |
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This one's for you, General Quacksmith. This scene makes me cry like a crazy person. Skid Row's I Remember You is now my Style love song. *goes to listen* [Inside, Kyle is at Guitar Hero playing along to another song.] Skid Row: Woke up to the sound of pouring rain The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried, that called my name [Stan walks in and approaches Kyle. Kyle sees him and turns his back to him] And when you needed me I came through Stan: Kyle, could I just talk to you for like five minutes? Kyle: What are you doing here? ["I paint a picture of the days gone by"] Stan: Please, ih ih, it won't take long. Kyle: Goddamnit. We're gonna take a short break. Be back in five. ["When love went blind and you would make me see." Kyle walks over to the bar and serves himself some Fresca] Stan: I was listening to you for a while. Dude, you've gotten a lot better. ["I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes"] Kyle: Oh, thank you! I was so eagerly awaiting your approval of my abilities! ["So that I knew you were there for me"] Stan: Look, Kyle, the game is still set up at my house and, maybe we could go try playing it again over there. Kyle: Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me from the bowels of mediocrity! Oh, thank you, your royal lordship! ["Time after time you were there for me"] Stan: That isn't it at all. ["Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand"] Kyle: You don't get it, Stan! I can play here all I want. I even get free Frescas. I don't need you anymore! ["Love letters in the sand - I remember you"] Stan: I know. I need you. [Kyle glances over his shoulder, then turns around to face Stan] I thought I was having a great time because I was getting signed by managers and, going to big sex and coke parties, but, then I realized, I was having fun because I was doing all that... [turns around and face Kyle] ...with my best friend. Kyle: It was pretty fun, wasn't it? Stan: [awkwardly] Yeah. Kyle: Look, I doubt we could break a million together anyway. Stan: I don't care. I'd just like to play with you again. For the fun of it. Kyle: I don't really see the fun in... [turns around with fire in his eyes] ...not trying to kick that game's ass once and for all! Stan: What, you mean it? Kyle: I think we can do it, Stan. I've been close to a million a few times by myself. Stan: [pats Kyle on the shoulder] Then let's go, dude! [walks forward. Kyle follows.] Kyle: [stops abruptly] Oh wait. Wait, I'm supposed to play here. [turns around and face Mick] Hey, Mick, w-would you mind if I stepped out for a sec? Mick: Go on, get out of here, kid. Who needs your wailin' and rockin' around here anyways? Kyle: Thanks, Mick! [turns left and walks out. Stan follows him.] -- South Park: Guitar Queer-o |
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Once he told iGod his name was Jesus. Once he managed to convince iGod that he iGod himself.







12:08 PM Jul 11