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Topic Started: Apr 19 2008, 11:04 AM (1,858 Views)
SonicPanther
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SQUEEEE<3<3 Thank you Able!

Oh, and call me SP, or Panther, or Panthera, or Alex, or You There.

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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+AshleyBenlove


I'll call you what I usually call you.

Since this episode is on as I type this...

[The United Nations, day. In the main hall President Bush is speaking to the Assembly]
Bush: Ladies and gentlemen of the UN, we have evidence that Saddam Hussein is up there building weapons of mass destruction. [shows a picture of the ladder and another one of the clouds. Both pictures have areas circled in] We have tried to communicate with Saddam through a psychic to ask him to let us see his warehouses in heaven. But he has not responded.
Indian Ambassador: Of course he has not responded, because he's DEAD!
Bush: Right. Dead, and in heaven.
Another Ambassador: This is preposterous! Even if there was a heaven, what makes you think Saddam Hussein's soul would be sent there?
Bush: Our intelligence tells us that when Saddam was originally killed, his soul actually went to hell. But while in hell he began a homosexual relationship with Satan, the Prince of Darkness. Satan, however, decided he didn't want to be with Hussein anymore and broke up with him about August. [the French Ambassador has tuned out] When Saddam became jealous and tried to kill Satan's new lover, Chris, Satan had Saddam sent to heaven to live with Mormons as a punishment. [the assembly is overcome with silence] Question? [more silence. An amabassador raises his hand] Yes?
Another Ambassador: Are you high, or just incredibly stupid?
Bush: I assure you, I am not high.

-- South Park: A Ladder to Heaven

I can't even explain this to another person without LMAOing like crazy.
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SonicPanther
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I LOVE THAT. He's not high, I'll give him that. ;)

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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+AshleyBenlove


And this is the second best scene in that episode just for the boys' reactions. Kyle's is the best.

[The Marsh home, day. The boys' ladder is seen rising above the house, in the backyard. In the dining room, the boys' parents sit opposite the boys at the table.]
Randy: Boys, it's really neat that you want to see your old pal Kenny so much but...
Gerald: But it's time for you to get back to school and on with your lives.
Stan: No, we have to see Kenny!
Sharon: You have to understand that Kenny's body isn't up in the clouds. He was cremated.
Stan: Cremated? What's that?
Randy: When you die, your body is put into a broiling oven and cooked until you're nothing but ashes. [the boys are alarmed]
Kyle: What?? For God's sake, why??
Sheila: Kyle, it's just what some people do.
Kyle: Are you gonna burn me?
Gerald: Kyle, that's not the issue right now.
Kyle: Jesus Christ!
Randy: The person's ashes are put into an urn, and that's where Kenny's body is.
Kenny's Mom: You see boys, Kenny is in here. [opens the urn and pours out the contents, which are white now. Mrs. McCormick notices] What the??? [looks inside the urn] Wait a minute! This is kitty litter!
Cartman: [resigned, comes clean] Alright, alright, I drank the chocolate milk mix and replaced it with kitty litter.
Stuart: You WHAT??
Stan: Dude, don't you know what this means? You drank Kenny!
Cartman: [knowingly] Shut up!
Kyle: You did, dude! You drank his whole body!
Cartman: [knowingly] Shut up!
Kenny's Mom: Oh my God! This is awful! [starts moving away. The other adults follow] And disgusting!
Liane: [stops and looks at Cartman] Bad, Eric, bad! [moves away]
Cartman: That explains it. Why I'm having Kenny's memories all the time. His soul is inside me.
Stan: Well, so much for our winning ticket. Cartman probably drank that with the rest of Kenny! [leaves the table]
Kyle: Yeah. Good job, fatass! [leaves the table]
Cartman: I can't live like this. I, I have to find a place where they remove living souls from your body.
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Commander Fun
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Scientology President: You see, Stan, there is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed. An alien reason. It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen. (Caption: This is what Scientologists actually believe.) The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had also built on Earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they could grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems. L. Ron Hubbard did an amazing thing telling the world this incredible truth. Now all we're asking you to do is pick up where he left off.

~ Trapped in the Closet, South Park

Rainer Wolfcastle: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

~Radioactive Man, The Simpsons
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SonicPanther
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That's from The Simpsons? Gawd, I hate it when I quote something for years without knowing what I'm quoting. :P It's also happened with "I'm a sad panda".

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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+AshleyBenlove


I love Trapped in the Closet. BEST EPISODE EVER. It's one of my many life's dreams to mace Tom Cruise after insulting him twice.

Since I'm currently reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins..

"Well perhaps the great Dawkins wasn't so wise. Oh, he was intelligent, but, some of the most intelligent otters I've ever known were completely lacking in common sense. Maybe, some otters do need to believe in something. Who knows? Maybe, just believing in God makes God exist."

-- South Park: Go God Go Part XII (actually part 2, but that's the actual episode title.)
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Commander Fun
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Quote:
 
That's from The Simpsons? Gawd, I hate it when I quote something for years without knowing what I'm quoting. :P It's also happened with "I'm a sad panda".


Yeah, it was when they dumped the vat of acid toward Rainer Wolfcastle to shoot a scene in the Radioactive Man movie, and just before hitting him, he puts on a pair of goggles.

Quote:
 
I love Trapped in the Closet. BEST EPISODE EVER. It's one of my many life's dreams to mace Tom Cruise after insulting him twice.


"You like BEAR MACE Icehead?"
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+AshleyBenlove


Oh, God, too funny. Cartman as the Dog. And it fits... given with some of the things Mr. Chapman said in the last while or so... I love Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy. I love when Cartman's like "Beth is my bitch!" And I'm like, really?!

And that remark reminds me of this scene:

[The White House, day. Stan, Kyle, and the man from 911truth.org are brought into the Oval Office by the Secret Service. The President's staff awaits.]
Kyle: Eh-xcuse me, there's been a misunderstanding.
Donald Rumsfeld: Come on in, Mr. President. [President Bush comes in through one of the side doors]
Kyle: Uh, Mr. President, my name is-
Bush: SSHHUUDDUUPP!! You think we don't know your name?! We know everything! We control everything! [walks to his desk] We've all worked very hard to keep our involvement in 9/11 a secret! But you just had to keep digging!
Kyle: [quite surprised] Really?
911truth Man: You won't get away with it! People know!
Bush: People? You mean sheeple. We have the majority of them kept in blissful ignorance. Just one more... leak... [pulls out a pistol and his voice gets sinister] to fix... [the Secret Service agents take the 911truth man to the President]
911truth Man: Wait. What are you doing?
Bush: [leaves his desk and cocks the gun] You've been a thorn in our side for too long, I'm afraid.
911truth Man: No! You can't do this! [Bush grabs him by the collar] Please! I'll stop. I'll take down the Web site. I'll sto- [the President sticks the gun into the man's mouth] Oh no! Oh no!
Bush: Too late. [squeezes the trigger once and the bullet goes clear through the man's head. The 911truth man is dead]
Stan: JESUS CHRIST!!
Rumsfeld: [Condoleezza Rice stands to his left] Hahaha. He died like a pig.
Bush: [wipes the blood off his clothes and skin] Some pigs never learn.
Kyle: [in sheer disbelief, cocks his head right] No. Way.
Stan: He was right. You DID cause 9/11.
Bush: Yes. Quite simple to pull off, really. All I had to do was have explosives planted in the base of the towers. Then on 9/11 we pretended like four planes were being hijacked.when really we just rerouted them to Pennsylvania, then flew two military jets into the World Trade Center filled with more explosives, then shot down all the witnesses of Flight 93 with an F-15 after blowing up the Pentagon with a Cruise missile. It was only the world's most intricate and flawlessly-executed ever, ever.
Kyle: [ever more incredulous, cocks his head left and lower] ...Really??
Stan: Why?!
Bush: [smiling, he begins to pace] Oldest reason in the world. Money. The towers fell and the American sheeple all waved their flags. [walks by Dick Cheney, who's got a crossbow and is dressed to hunt] Finally we could invade Iraq, [finishes off with sinister glee] and get the oil which made us all richer than before.
Rumsfeld: [rubs his hands together greedily] Beauutiful money, hahahaha!
Kyle: [cocks his head right and even lower. He's not buying it] ...Really??
Stan: [off on a different page] Is the whole government in on this?
Bush: We are all-knowing and all-powerful. Good-bye, boys. [steps aside as Dick Cheney takes aim at them. Cheney fires an arrow at them, but the arrow hits a marble vase on a table behind the boys. The arrow bounces off the vase and hits fire alarm, which sets off the sprinkler system. Everyone does his best not to get wet]
Cheney: Dangit I missed again!
Bush: For Christ's sake, Cheney! [Two aids open the doors to the Oval Office and enter]
Stan: [seeing their chance] Kyle! Run! [the boys take off with the Secret Service in hot pursuit]
Bush: KILL THEM!

-- South Park: Mystery of the Urinal Deuce

----

Kyle: [with a cup of water, approaches Stan] Can you believe it, Stan? I never thought global warming could happen so fast. I guess... I didn't listen.
Stan: Kyle, it... it isn't global warming.
Kyle: Huh?
Stan: [hops off his cot] Global warming isn't happening right now. It's, it's not what caused the Beaverton flood.
Kyle: How do you know that?
Stan: Because, I know what did cause the flood.
Kyle: George Bush?
Stan: No.
Kyle: Terrorists?
Stan: No.
Kyle: Communists?
Stan: No.
Kyle: Chinese radicals?
Stan: No.
Kyle: ...Cartman?
Stan: ...sort of.
Kyle: [throws down his cup] Cartman flooded Beaverton?!!
Stan: [pulls him aside to a more private area] Shh! Not, not exactly. We were messing around in this guy's new boat, and Cartman egged me on, and, and I crashed it into the Beaverton dam.
Kyle: [thinks a bit] Dude, you have to tell everyone. Right now.
Cartman: [arrives] Hey Stan. [studies Stan and Kyle's faces] Oh Goddamnit you told Kyle, didn't you?!
Kyle: Stan, people in Beaverton are still trapped on their roofs. Nobody's helping them because they think they can't go outside.
Cartman: Oh, here we go. See? I told you! If you're so caring, Kyle, why don't you share some of your Jew gold with the people caught in the flood?!
Stan: Look, maybe, maybe we can help those people in Beaverton ourselves.
Kyle: How?
Cartman: Why?
Stan: We can sneak out of here, get a boat, and go help them off their roofs. That way, I can do the right thing, but still lie about it.

-- South Park: Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow
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SonicPanther
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AshleyBenlove
May 21 2008, 08:54 PM
I love Trapped in the Closet. BEST EPISODE EVER. It's one of my many life's dreams to mace Tom Cruise after insulting him twice.

Since I'm currently reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins..

"Well perhaps the great Dawkins wasn't so wise. Oh, he was intelligent, but, some of the most intelligent otters I've ever known were completely lacking in common sense. Maybe, some otters do need to believe in something. Who knows? Maybe, just believing in God makes God exist."

-- South Park: Go God Go Part XII (actually part 2, but that's the actual episode title.)

I thought Imaginationland was the "BEST EPISODE EVER" in your world.

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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+AshleyBenlove


General Quacksmith
May 21 2008, 08:53 PM
AshleyBenlove
May 21 2008, 08:54 PM
I love Trapped in the Closet. BEST EPISODE EVER. It's one of my many life's dreams to mace Tom Cruise after insulting him twice.

Since I'm currently reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins..

"Well perhaps the great Dawkins wasn't so wise. Oh, he was intelligent, but, some of the most intelligent otters I've ever known were completely lacking in common sense. Maybe, some otters do need to believe in something. Who knows? Maybe, just believing in God makes God exist."

-- South Park: Go God Go Part XII (actually part 2, but that's the actual episode title.)

I thought Imaginationland was the "BEST EPISODE EVER" in your world.

It is, Panthera. It is. TITC is on the top twenty list.

Dorothy: [on menopause] What is the big deal, Blanche? It's nothing. Look at it this way: you don't get cramps once a month. You don't go on eating binges once a month. You don't get crazy once a month.
Sophia: You just grow a beard.
Dorothy: Don't listen to her, Blanche.
Sophia: You grow a beard, Dorothy! Believe me, I woke up one morning, I looked like Arafat!
Blanche: Oh, my GOD!
Rose: I never grew a beard!
Sophia: You never grew brains, either!

-- The Golden Girls: The End of the Curse
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+RobotDevilRox
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Grammar Girl

"Blatantlyblatantlywhogivesabastardabirthdaypresentblatantlyblatantly!"
"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!"

"ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions*
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Commander Fun
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Announcer: Standards and practices are a vital link in keeping good and funny ideas away from you, the television viewer. Watch how this nun reacts when we blow her brains out.
(points shotgun at smiling nun's head & blows it off, causing blood to squirt out)
Voice: NO! PERMISSION NOT GRANTED!
Anouncer: Oh no, sombody's going to get an e-mail. What's a better, more acceptable solution?
(shoots the nun head off again, but this time a rainbow shoots out of her neck)
Announcer: That's right, a happy and colorful rainbow. Although not nearly as funny, it's guaranteed not to offend the black people.
Voice: NO! UNACCEPTABLE!
Announcer: Did I say black? I meant to say minorities.
Voice: ACCEPTABLE!
Announcer: Looks like someone's about to get an A. By following the rules, you're guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to.

~Gee Whiz, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
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Friend Code: 3179-5740-5026
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SonicPanther
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"That is so hilarious." - Skinavish

He says that too much. Same with Ashley and "I love that, that's great".

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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+AshleyBenlove


I DO say that alot.

Stan: Come on, buddy, let's go! [walks happily towards his door. Kyle steps forward, then stops]
Kyle: Stan... [Stan turns, then he turns away] Do you really think my hat is stupid?
Stan: [walks back and puts his left hand on Kyle's shoulder] As a matter of fact,... I think it is the nicest hat I've evern known. [Kyle smiles and Stan pats him twice on the back] Come on! [they head out]

-- South Park: Follow That Egg!
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