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Joke Thread; Great thread, or GREATEST thread?
Topic Started: Aug 12 2009, 09:55 AM (1,076 Views)
Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Now, I'm sure we've had a thread like this before. Maybe with this exact title. But I don't care. Those were all terrible. This thread, is the greatest joke thread. You will scavenge the savannah of humour for those little gems that will actually make me laugh. You better try hard though. You won't make me laugh easily. You may think that pic which 'gets you every time' is hilarious. Oh no. I WON'T BE SATISFIED THAT EASILY. You better try hard, TFF. For me.

BRING IT!

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Edited by Pokemachine, Aug 12 2009, 09:58 AM.
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Grammar Girl

A woman drives to a petrol station but is too afraid to get out of her car. She rings up her husband and explains the situation to him.
"I'm afraid to get out of the car because of swine flu!" she cries.
"No, no, you've got it all wrong," her husband sighs, "swine flu is in Mexico, not Texaco."
"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!"

"ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions*
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

RobotDevilRox
Aug 13 2009, 02:07 PM
Mexico
Texaco
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Grammar Girl

Basically, yes.

I'll post some more jokes once I raid my elephant jokebook... Or watch Count Duckula again. X3
"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!"

"ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions*
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

RobotDevilRox
Aug 13 2009, 02:26 PM
DURR DURR I can't think of jokes
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(Make a funny photoshoop then)
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Grammar Girl

Where did Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!

What do you call a pyramid with windows?
A tomb with a view!

I get very nervous at sea.
Don't worry, we're only two miles from land.
Really?
Yeah - straight down.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.

What's small, grey, and has a trunk?
A koala going on holiday.

What do you call a ten foot kangaroo with a machine gun?
Sir.

(I have a lot of Australia ones. XD)

What's the difference between an elephant and a plumb?
Their colour.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
"Here come the elephants!"

What did Jane say?
"Here come the plumbs!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with dark glasses on?
Nothing, he didn't recognise them.
"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!"

"ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions*
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Quote:
 
Where did Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleevies!


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What do you call a pyramid with windows?
A tomb with a view!


Posted Image

Quote:
 
I get very nervous at sea.
Don't worry, we're only two miles from land.
Really?
Yeah - straight down.


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
A woolly jumper.


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What's small, grey, and has a trunk?
A koala going on holiday.


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What do you call a ten foot kangaroo with a machine gun?
Sir.


Posted Image

Quote:
 
(I have a lot of Australia ones. XD)


Posted Image

(Gee, I'd never have guessed.)

Quote:
 
What's the difference between an elephant and a plumb?
Their colour.


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
"Here come the elephants!"


Posted Image

Quote:
 

What did Jane say?
"Here come the plumbs!"


Posted Image

Quote:
 
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with dark glasses on?
Nothing, he didn't recognise them.


Posted Image
Edited by Pokemachine, Aug 13 2009, 03:00 PM.
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Grammar Girl

I'll have more tomorrow! :D
"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!"

"ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions*
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Well they ain't making me laugh!

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Skinavish
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Mafia Frog

Why doesn't Pokey laugh?

Because *gets shot, goes to hell*
Edited by Pokemachine, Aug 14 2009, 04:51 AM.
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"What do you mean it's not Scottish?? If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" -Captain MacMillan

"Battlefields can be very stressful places. Look at this guy, has he had a heart attack or is he resting? OH MY GOD, HIS ARMS AND LEGS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF!" -Michael Scott, while demonstrating CPR on a dummy
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Skinavish
Aug 13 2009, 08:27 PM
Why doesn't Pokey laugh?
Posted Image

(he actually said 'Because he sold his laugh to the devil' or something, but as ArchKingDuke, I believe I have a right to use that reaction image atleast once)
Edited by Pokemachine, Aug 14 2009, 08:38 AM.
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Skinavish
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Mafia Frog

What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash can?

One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Posted Image Posted Image

"What do you mean it's not Scottish?? If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" -Captain MacMillan

"Battlefields can be very stressful places. Look at this guy, has he had a heart attack or is he resting? OH MY GOD, HIS ARMS AND LEGS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF!" -Michael Scott, while demonstrating CPR on a dummy
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Quote:
 
Post by Skinavish


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Quote:
 
Dead baby comedy


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Quote:
 
Heard it a thousand times before.


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Edited by Pokemachine, Aug 14 2009, 10:42 AM.
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Skinavish
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Mafia Frog

From where doth the raven's cry beckon?

Nobody knows, because Pokey killed all the ravens with his terrible reaction images.
Posted Image Posted Image

"What do you mean it's not Scottish?? If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" -Captain MacMillan

"Battlefields can be very stressful places. Look at this guy, has he had a heart attack or is he resting? OH MY GOD, HIS ARMS AND LEGS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF!" -Michael Scott, while demonstrating CPR on a dummy
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Skinavish
Aug 15 2009, 07:59 PM
Pokey

terrible reaction images.
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