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| Joke Thread; Great thread, or GREATEST thread? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 12 2009, 09:55 AM (1,075 Views) | |
| +RobotDevilRox | Sep 22 2009, 11:24 AM Post #46 |
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Grammar Girl
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Skinnybitch wins. |
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"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!" "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions* | |
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| Pokemachine | Sep 23 2009, 07:33 AM Post #47 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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But see my post. |
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| +RobotDevilRox | Oct 21 2009, 10:07 AM Post #48 |
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Grammar Girl
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone." |
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"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!" "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions* | |
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| Pokemachine | Oct 21 2009, 11:27 PM Post #49 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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![]() What Was that? |
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| +RobotDevilRox | Oct 22 2009, 11:42 AM Post #50 |
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Grammar Girl
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MY ESTONIAN FRIEND WAS TELLING ME SOME ESTONIAN JOKES. HERE THEY ARE. A guy comes home and goes to his father. "I've become a man" he says. Of course the father us happy about that and takes out some alchohol, putting the bottle on the table. "C'mon, sit down, we have to drink on that", says the father but his son says then "I can't sit.." An Estonian and a Latvian were walking down some random road when they suddenly noticed a pig stuck in a fence. They went and investigated it and discovered that the pig was really hopelessly stuck, there was no way it could've escaped. And so, the Estonian got a weird gleam in his eyes, pulled his pants down and screwed the pig. Once he was done with his business he grinned at the Latvian and pointed at the pig. "Okay, your turn now!" The Latvian let out a whimper as he bent over and pulled his pants down. "P-please be gentle..." An Estonian was sitting in a cafe, eating rye bread and drinking coffee. A cocky Latvian came and sat across of him, chewing on a gum. "Hey, you know, you eat bread in Estonia, don't you?" The Estonian nodded politely. "Well, in Latvia we do it too, but we only eat the better parts. Once we're done eating we put them in a machine, make them into crappier bread and sell 'em to Estonia!" The Estonian gave the other man an annoyed look as he sipped on his coffee. "Oh, we have coffee too," the Latvian then exclaimed as he was chewing on his gum, "but in Latvia we drink it up, put the leftovers in a machine and sell used coffee to Estonia!" The Estonian was already starting to get pissed off at the chattering, gum-chewing Latvian so he asked, "Umm, just gotta ask, but what do you do with used condoms?" The Latvian gave him a weird look. "We throw them away, of course!" The Estonian smirked. "Well, in Estonia we put the used condoms in a machine, make crappy gum and sell them to Latvia." A Turk, an Englishman, a German, a Russian and an Estonian were sitting in a bar, talking. Suddenly, the Englishman lifted his glass up and exclaimed, "Cheers for the power of Britain!" Everybody lifted their drinks up for a second and took a shot. Next up was the German. "For the German precision!" Everybody cheered. Then it was the Turk's turn. "For the beauty of our Turkish carpets!" Everybody cheered again and they did the same when the Russian lifted his glass "For the gorgeous Russian women!" The Estonian chuckled and said, "Well, in that case let's cheer for those Estonian lads who shag Russian women on Turkish carpets with German precision and British power!" An Estonian and a Russian were stuck on an island for 15 years. One day the Russian noticed a beautiful girl on the island nearby. Since he didn't want the Estonian to get there first he swum over to the island and shagged the girl. When he was done he swum back and found the Estonian staring dully at a fire. "Hey, comrade, on that island over there there's something you haven't gotten in years!" the Russian yelled. The Estonian was up as a lightning bolt, ran to the shore and jumped into the water while mumbling "sauerkraut, sauerkraut, sauerkraut..." An estonian, a Russian and a German are sitting in prison. Then comes a day when someone will be let free only when they teach a donkey to say "No" and "Ow". The German goes to the donkey and tells him to say ow. The donkey doesn't and the German stays in prison. Next the Russian tries. He stares at the Donkey a bit and gets a hold of his ears. "Say ow or you won't be lucky." The donkey doesn't do that and hits the Russian who also stays in prison. Next the Estonian. He stares at the donkey quite a while, goes behind him and hits him in the balls. "Ow" cries the donkey. "You want more?" "No!" An Estonian, a German and a Russian are walking around somewhere in the woods. They all are hungry. So they decide to go to different ways and when they find food to make a fire. In a bit there comes smoke from where the Russian went and the Estonian runs to him and sees him grilling some flesh. They start to eat and eat but the German still hadn't come. At last the Estonian says " I don't like the German at all." "Then don't eat if you don't like it" A Japanese, an Estonian and an Englishman are imprisoned by cannibals. The chief says, "We'll eat you right away and make from your skins canoes. Good news is that you can choose how you die." The Japanese chooses a katana and commits harakiri. The Englishman chooses a pistol and shots himself in the head. The Estonian asks for a fork and starts to stab himself furiously. Blood is splattering and the chief asks "Why are you doing that?" "That much for the canoe!" answers the Estonian angrily. |
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"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!" "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions* | |
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| Pokemachine | Oct 30 2009, 06:58 AM Post #51 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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![]() The only valid form of Estonian jokes are jokes about how slow Estonians are. In fact, the best Estonian joke is the one where a man makes an offensive one around Estonians, and gets beaten up. The next day. |
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| +RobotDevilRox | Nov 11 2009, 02:22 PM Post #52 |
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Grammar Girl
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... |
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"STOP BREAKING MY #@!%ING LOCKS AND EATING MY CANNED GOODS!!!" "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD SCUM!!!" *Begins listing exceptions* | |
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| Pokemachine | Nov 14 2009, 09:43 AM Post #53 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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| Zeebs | Dec 28 2009, 01:18 PM Post #54 |
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Dr. Horrible
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This thread sucks. D: |
![]() ![]() CRAAAAAAAABCOOOOOORE!!! | |
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| Pokemachine | Jan 28 2010, 10:16 AM Post #55 |
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Mr Magnetic Blood
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