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A Story
Topic Started: Sep 12 2009, 03:28 PM (230 Views)
Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

I have a confession to make - I'm not quite who you think I am, and strange things sometimes happen to me.

So I had walked into the grocery store. I had been living on my own for roughly a year now, I was managing, it was quite lonely though. I really only shopped for stuff I needed. I was in the dairy isle looking for milk, they didn't have any skim milk, I only drink skim. After searching for a couple minutes I grew frustrated, I walked over to a young girl who was working here where the milk was.

She looked over at me and replied with, "I guess it can't be helped for a guy like you". Then a giant crab busted out of the seafood section and screamed "REBELLION", I didn't even know crabs could talk. I ducked under the chibbata roles, as the crab (who I would later find out that his name was Ralph) scewered the young girl through the throat and dangled her around while salsa dancing. The power rangers then showed up and took combat positions as more giant crabs arrived to the scene, all armed with death lazers and proton shields.

The power rangers charged at the crabs, they were all armed with katanas which made sense because this was Brazil. The crabs stomped on the ranger forces like ants; death rays frying the innocent and delicious crab meat feeding them at the same time.The store was in a frenzy, the tortillas were on fire and the cops showed up. However, once they had realized that it was giant crabs they got the dance out of there.

A wizard showed up and looked down at me. His beard was down to his feet and he was dressed in a black robe, although I could tell he was wearing a lime green thong. His eyes paced back and forth and he uttered "My, my, what a mess in here. Shall we help out, Cheese-kun?"

How did he know my name?

"How did you know my name, dickhugger?" I called him a dickhugger, because I assumed he hugged dicks.

"I know a lot of things about some stuff that isn't everything that we need to know for us, right?" he replied by in a sly tone

"I understand now" as I nodded

We both grabbed battle axes and charged Ralph the king krab. He shot his death rays at us, but we ducked to the side, rolling into the lettuce cart. Dickhugger shot out a stream of flamethrower which hit Ralph in the chest, but Ralph was immune because he was a water type, obviously because he is an aquatic carnivore. After seeing this, I used a lighting technique which shocked all of the other crabs, paralyzing them just in time for the remaining power rangers to shove their katanas into their weak spots for massive damage (x2 multiplier)

Ralph then decided to not dance around anymore

"How can you've done this?!!!!" screamed Ralph the Krab King

"Destiny?" I asked. Dickhugger just nodded.

Ralph then mobilized his mech which was roughly 50 feet tall, thats pretty dancing big I think, again we are in Brazil so I don't know standard time. Dickhugger casted the arrora spell which had been sacred for quite some years. I learned it in philosophy class. Ralph shot out stinger missiles which rammed into the fresh produce and scattering everywhere. Dickhugger used an iceshield, but it was no good. The drill missiles pierced through and even took off Dickhugger's left arm. He screamed out in pain as I tried to call in a medic off my codec, which was confusing because I didn't have one before.

Ralph laughed out maniacally and then pulled out his crab cock which was huge. Although im Asian so everything is large in comparison. He shot out a giga-beam out of the tip and pierced straight through the red ranger. The pink ranger screamed out in sorrow as she cried over his dead body, but all I could think about is how much of a boner she was giving me. I really love blondes.
Edited by Pokemachine, Sep 12 2009, 03:35 PM.
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SonicPanther
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Futurama Guru

...what is this

I lol'd, but... what is this.

-SP- | Ownzor of TFF | The Bendable Admin | Vice Founder, I guess
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

A take of heroics and chivalry and crabs.
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Skinavish
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Mafia Frog

Boy, have you lost yo MIND?? Because I WILL help you find it!
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"What do you mean it's not Scottish?? If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" -Captain MacMillan

"Battlefields can be very stressful places. Look at this guy, has he had a heart attack or is he resting? OH MY GOD, HIS ARMS AND LEGS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF!" -Michael Scott, while demonstrating CPR on a dummy
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

I'm not sure if I lost it. It could still be in my head.

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Can you see it?
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Skinavish
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Mafia Frog

Pokemachine
Sep 14 2009, 07:45 AM
Simple PhotoShoppery goes here
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"What do you mean it's not Scottish?? If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!" -Captain MacMillan

"Battlefields can be very stressful places. Look at this guy, has he had a heart attack or is he resting? OH MY GOD, HIS ARMS AND LEGS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OFF!" -Michael Scott, while demonstrating CPR on a dummy
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Pokemachine
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Mr Magnetic Blood

Skinavish
Sep 14 2009, 04:16 PM
Empty post with a single altered quote.
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