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| Rural rules | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 2 2008, 07:57 AM (278 Views) | |
Terrym
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Oct 2 2008, 07:57 AM Post #1 |
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Bradford Ont
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THE RULES OF RURAL ONTARIO ARE AS FOLLOWS Listen up City Slickers! 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked. 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy 7 & 401 goes east and west, Hwy 15 & 416 goes north and south. Pick one. 5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 6. So every person in Ontario waves. It's called 'being friendly ' . Try to understand the concept. 7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. 11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey. 12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. 14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 15. OHL and Minor Hockey is as important here as the Leafs and Habs, and more fun to watch. 16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish. 17.. Colleges? We have them all over. We have Universities and Community Colleges. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays. 18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Armed Forces. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best. 19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. (Refer back to #1). 20. 2 inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day. |
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annie oakley
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Oct 2 2008, 08:03 AM Post #2 |
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from a rural resident
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<bottomleft><b>AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO HUNT LIKE A GIRL!!</b> | |
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spent
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Oct 2 2008, 08:06 AM Post #3 |
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Ya but if we don't buy every loaf of bread on the shelves or quart of milk in the cooler and anything else that will sustain life such as a candle will give off heat, we'll die So please bare with us, because we don't want to parish in the snow storm..... |
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MJewell
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Oct 2 2008, 07:23 PM Post #4 |
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Central Ontario
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Terry you have entirily to much time on your hands to write all this stuff down, but it isn't far from the truth. I've thought it many of times. Matt |
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When the peep is brown; Let the string sing!!! Hoyt Rampage XT 28" 55lbs, Hoyt CRX32 Blackout 27.5" @ 55lbs Darkhorse Staff Shooter www.darkhorsearchery.ca ECO3/LOG6 Staff Shooter | |
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bowhunter-57
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Oct 2 2008, 07:54 PM Post #5 |
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well said
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4ST EYES
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Oct 3 2008, 01:37 PM Post #6 |
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4ST EYES
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Terry you nailed it. It also applies to north, and I don't mean just north of hwy 7. The north only starts at hwy 17 above the North Bay, Sudbuty and Sault line. Spent, don't worry if the south gets more than a few inches of snow the government will send in the army. |
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EYES ARE WATCHING | |
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spent
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Oct 3 2008, 02:01 PM Post #7 |
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I plow highways and we do get our fare share of the snow, and I do make some good money at that too. So what I can say is bring on the snow I am ready .
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| crisop | Oct 3 2008, 02:21 PM Post #8 |
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Almost know it all
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so true terry i have actually seen an older lady, maybe 50's go up to a teenager and yank his pants up for him and tell him to grow up and stop showing off his boxers no one wants to see them.....damn funniest thing i have ever seen |
| winter time with snow and ice means ICE FISHING | |
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Coyotechaser
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Oct 3 2008, 02:37 PM Post #9 |
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Team Ontario Trophy Bucks
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it! |
Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority,and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a bowel movement by the clean end
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patriotvft
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Oct 3 2008, 06:38 PM Post #10 |
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too bad terry isnt. he drives a ford "escape" of all things. is that even a truck?! |
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| Hornetx | Oct 3 2008, 09:40 PM Post #11 |
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Regular
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hey terry Boy that's sounds like the east coast, raised in nova scotia my first 38 years man i miss it but as i get to know the people here, most remind me of home, country people are the best. cheers steve |
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270 WBY
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Oct 4 2008, 08:56 AM Post #12 |
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Nope a wheel barrow on steriods at BEST!!!
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from a rural resident




well said 


![]](http://z4.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)
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3:22 AM Jul 11