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| The Knife; My second serious story... enjoy | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 22 2004, 09:23 PM (417 Views) | |
| Slappy | Oct 22 2004, 09:23 PM Post #1 |
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New and Improved
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INTRODUCTION: The boy crept along the wall, the shadows covered his body and he made very sure that not even a toe snuck into the light. The young woman he stalked sat down lightly on the couch. She silently pulled a book off of the coffee table and opened it, removing a book mark. The silent child made his way, carefully and silently, toward the couch, out of sight. His bare feet crossed the carpet slowly. The young woman turned the page of her book and exhaled lightly. She was completely and utterly oblivious to the boy's approaches. A smile slowly began to show on the boy's face as he began to gloat in his victory. Anticipating his point of attack he began to lean back and forth, gathering momentum. After two more seconds he sprung, and at that exact moment the girl stood and shut her book, seeming to remember something. She headed toward the next room. The child flipped over the top of the couch and landed face first on the floor. His nose began to bleed and small whimpers escaped his lips. The startled girl forgot her task at hand and turned to the boy. He was now sitting upright against the couch. The teenage girl took one look at him and began to laugh out loud. "What are you laughing at Jennie!? This really hurts!" Between laughs and snorts Jennifer managed to ask, "What exactly were you trying to do?" "I was trying to be like Jake The Knife. But you ruined it!" He accused his older sister. "Oh, William! Jake The Knife is just an old legend! Besides, its supposed to scare children, not influence them." She laughed a small girlish laugh and rubbed his head. Pulling a tissue from the coffee table she handed it to him. William held it against his nose to clear the blood. Jennifer leaned closer to analyze the wound. "I don't think its broken, just a bit swollen, but not broken. Keep a tissue in it but don't lean your head back." "Okay. Hey sis, can you tell me the story of Jake The Knife before I go to bed?" William ball up one corner of the tissue and stuck it into his nostril to absorb the bleeding. "Well, I suppose. But you have to go straight to bed afterwards." "I promise!" Jennifer moved to the edge of the couch and the young boy layed back and place his head in her lap. "Hey, I thought I told you not to lean your head back!" "Oh, its okay. its not even bleeding anymore." She laughed, "Whatever you say." Her hand absently began stroking his hair as she began the story. "They say that when Jake was no older than I am today he stumbled upon an old native village called Tu'Ran. By now the village has been destroyed, but then it was nice and peaceful. The Elders of the village fought amongst each other for days. Letting a foreign person into their tribe was nearly unheard of, not to mention Jake had no past, he had been on his own his entire life. No parents to speak of, only a dog tag with his name on it. He had the smell of having killed before about him and this worried the elders, but also he had the essence of the Gods with him. Though some were against it the majority argued that he should stay with them and learn from them. They said that it would be better than being raised by slave traders, or mercenaries, or worse than that, he could die." "Skip this part, its so boring!" William complained. "If you want me to tell it I'm going to tell it all." Jennifer argued. "Okay, have it your way." William sighed and became quiet once more. "Anyway, the elders finally decided to bring him into their lives. From that day on they treated him as one of their own. He learned under the elders and trained under the monks and warriors. After a year of being with them they officially excepted Jake into their tribe. In order to do so they had a ceremony of acceptance rituals. During the ceremony they give him a very intricate tattoo, a picture of a dragon, wolf, dog, fox, cheetah and a ______. They gave him this tattoo and his new name. It symbolized his introduction to the tribe. The natives say that his spirit's aura was that of all those different animals, and so they named him Beast." "Hey, Jennie, what is my Native name? Is my aura as cool as Jake's?" William asked with a light in his eye. "I'm not sure, I'm not a Native, but if I were I'd call you... 'Sleepy'." Jennifer laughed. "Why?" "Because its time for bed, and your aura is screaming out, 'Tired!'" "No way! You haven't finished telling me the story!" William complained, his voice whining the way children's voices do when they don't get their way. "Yes, I know, maybe tomorrow night, its past your bed time. Besides mom and dad will be home soon." Jennifer pushed his head off of her lap and he sat up and looked at her. "I'll tell mom and dad that you gave me this bloody nose," William threatened as he pulled the bloody tissue from his nostril and discarded it on the coffee table. "You wouldn't!" Jennifer exclaimed "I would!" "Well I won't tell you the story. Then we'll both be miserable." Jennifer said seriously. "You will," William argued with a certain edge in his voice. "And why is that?" Jennifer's voice grew curious as she lightly brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Because I know what you and Charlie were doing yesterday!" William's eyes were alive and burning with mischief. Jennifer's face became very pale suddenly. Her little brother was young yes, but not naive. He now had something that he could hold high over her head. "No, please don't tell mom and dad about that!" His eyes portrayed his words. "Okay, okay, fine, I'll finish the story. You little brat." He grinned, "I knew you'd come around sis!" Laying his head back in her lap she continued to brush her hand through his hair. "All right, well where was I?" She thought for a moment, "Ah! I remember now. So they gave him the native name of Beast. Over five years he trained, and learned, and grew. Eventually he became the strongest fighter, and one of the wisest men in the village. His life was content, though Beast was always quiet, and quite serious most of the time, he was happy in the small village. He stayed there and watched over them." She stopped for a moment and listened, a sound had caught her ear, but nothing was heard so she continued. "One day while he was searching for food in the mountains he heard shouts coming from the village. Looking down on his temporary home he saw it engulfed in flames. Suddenly taken over by enormous feelings of rage. Flying back down through the forest he almost seemed to blur in and out of the trees leading down the mountain. Survivors say that when he came to save them his eyes were burning red and he had grown two feet. Gathering every villager that couldn't fight for themselves in his arms he retreated into the forest once more. After Jake, or Beast as they called him, saw to their safety he returned to the village and held off a hundred men to let the village guards escape." She paused once more, "Aren't you asleep yet?" "Not until you finish the story!" William laughed but once again fell silent. "I suppose you're determined huh?" Jennifer laughed lightly and then took a deep breath. "Well, that night he returned to the village, they say that he cut a thousand throats of the sleeping soldiers. And then, during the day he would retreat back to the forest and mountain, and rain sheets of arrows down on the unsuspecting soldiers. Now, no one from the village could figure out why these men wanted Beast. They seemed to be professional soldiers, but no one could manage to get close enough to find out who they were working for. Except Beast of course but he wouldn't tell them anything. Anyway, one night they managed to take a villager hostage. The soldiers threatened the villager's life if Jake didn't give himself up. Everybody who could see, said that Jake actually gave himself up after seeing that the man was safe. No one could understand why he did it, but they had no say in it." "Jake was taken prisoner by the army and held captive... to an extent. His immense strength, cunning, and determination made it hard for them to keep him restrained. No matter how much they sedated him or locked him down he almost always found a way to escape and slaughter more soldiers. After days of travel they reached their destination and heavily sedated him. Locking him in a lab room they studied him, his body, his psychy, his habits, everything about him. After about a week of study they developed a device meant to keep him from escaping. It was somewhat like a collar I suppose, but made of titanium and electric wiring." "Feeling assured that Jake was unable to harm or betray them they decided to give him a little stretching room. They let him eat and converse with the other soldiers, but that didn't suit him very well. After trying to escape once or twice they decided just to keep him in his secure room until he was given orders. Not soon after that the Commander of that certain division sent down orders to give to Jake. The man in charge of Project Jeriks assigned Jake a keeper, who would watch Jeriks and give him his assignments. The man's name was Sam, Sam Gedder, and he gave Jake his first mission, which was simply to assassinate the enemy Commander opposing them. Jake was given pictures and ifnormation about the commander and then sent off. He completed his mission easily and returned to them." "He was given many other pointless missions and many involved killing, the others involved reconnaissance. During the night he would slit throat after throat, and during the day he would help people lose weight by gutting them like fish." She stopped and looked down at William, he was still awake and seemingly unaffected by what she had said, this led her to worry a bit. Brushing it off she continued with the story, "Throughout the time he joined the war to the time he left he gained a nickname or two. Some called him 'Slasher' and others called him 'Jake the Knife'. Now, the men of this war used advanced weaponry, things that Jake was not used to. He had been mostly raised with sharp weaponry and arrows. Guns were not his style, though they were effective and fast paced, he always felt that a knife twisting in someone's belly or sliding under their ribs, was much more effective. Someone could always live from a gun shot wound." "After a year or so of this pointless war he grew tired of it all. He was good at killing, that was true, but it all seemed so pointless and naive. He had nothing to gain from it, and he had yet to meet the man issuing his orders. He brought this up to Sam and they argued a bit. Sam reminded him that he couldn't leave if he wanted to. Jake then calmly reminded him that he was the Native Beast, not the Government's puppet, and with that he destroyed the titanium collar around his neck and left the temporary home." She removed her hand from the young boy's hair and pushed him off of her lap, "Are you happy now Will?" "Yes, quite. It wasn't that hard was it?" William smiled at his sister. "No, I suppose not, just tedious." They were quiet for a while and then William spoke up, "Hey Jen, do you suppose Jeriks is still alive?" "No, I don't think so. This story is quite old, older than I am. But if he were alive I'm not quite sure what he'd be doing all this time." "I'm sure he can do just about anything he wants," William laughed and then his face grew serious, yet inquisitive. "Say, what exactly did you and Charlie do the other day?" "What? I thought you said you knew!" "Just because I say something doesn't make it true." He replied simply. "You little rat!" With that she grabbed a pillow and began to beat her little brother over the head. William began to laugh as he ran away. "You'll never catch me!" "Go to bed!" She called after him, "Mom and dad will be home soon enough." "Yeah I suppose you're right," he said as he flew up the stairs. Entering his room he flipped on the light and dressed into his pajamas. After doing so he walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth and washed his face. While washing his face he froze for a moment. "I could have sworn I heard something. Ah, oh well probably just Jennie getting something to eat." He finished up in the bathroom and went back to his room. Flipping the lights off he pulled back his covers, with only the moonlight in his room he noticed something white laying on his bed, grabbing it he unfolded the paper. On it was scribbled a message, "Don't move or say a word. Now, turn around slowly." William was slightly baffled by this letter, he couldn't think of who could have placed it in his bed and that frightened him a bit. Suddenly the moonlight was cut off and some kind of shadow stood over him. Swallowing hard he slowly turned around to look at whatever had made the shadow. The man standing before him wasn't all that tall, William's father was probably as tall if not taller than him. He was completely hidden behind a cloak that's hood came down over his face. "Don't say a word, or even make a noise," the man warned the frightened young boy. William was about to say something to that but a sharp glisten of metal caught his eye and he noticed the tip of a dagger extruding from the man's cloak. Instead of protesting William just nodded. With that the man moved to the door and shut off all of William's connections to the outside world. "Who, who are you?" William stuttered to the man who was now moving toward the window. "I have many names." "Could you tell me one of them?" It was silent for more than a moment. "Jeriks." A voice said from the darkness of the room. "You mean... You're Jake the Knife!?" William could barely keep his voice down. "Yes, I've been called that before," the man said in a fainlty amused and deep voice. "That name just doesn't sound very catchy." "I rather like it." "Well I'm glad." "Sir, if you don't mind my asking, why exactly are you in my room?" William asked cautiously, hoping not to annoy the large man. A quick flash of teeth came from the corner, "You're a funny young man, but please don't call me sir. To answer your question, I'm hiding from some people." "What kind of people?" "The lawful kind." "Ah, the police then?" "If thats what you want to call them." "What do you mean exactly?" William inquired to his idol. "Well, your so called police are corrupt, i don't really have time to explain." The cloaked figure quickly glanced out the window and then sunk back into the darkness. "I understand. Were you listening to my sister's story?" "Yes I was," the voice admitted quietly. "Is any of that true or is it all just a folktale meant to scare me." "Well," he paused for a moment as if thinking it over. "I didn't grow two feet, and my eyes weren't really red." "Oh, I didn't think so," William waited for him to go on witht he things that weren't true. When the darkness told him nothing more he thought about it for a minute, "Oh," he said finally. "So how old are you, my sister says you should be dead by now." "I'm not really sure how old I am, but I can bet I'm older than both your parents." "They aren't really that old sir... Oh, I mean Jake." Jeriks laughed then, "I meant if you added their age together." William thought that over for a moment, "Wow, and you're still able to climb through my bedroom window?" "I'm still able to do a lot of things," just then a pair of men trotted by on their horses, they were talking amongst themselves. "I don't see him anywhere around here, do you?" The first asked his partner. "Nah, he's probably long gone by now. That bastard was quick." The second police man's voice was large and deep even as he tried to keep it down. "Do you suppose he had some sort of vehicle?" "No, he was on foot." "There's no way!" The first man was incredulous. "You know who it was right?" "What do you mean? Who was it?" "That was Jake the Knife Jeriks." The police man's voice was calm and serious. The first voice began to laugh, "Do you really expect me to believe that old wive's tale?" "Believe it or not, its true." The voices began to fade as they trotted down the gravel road. "There's no way, Jeriks would be older than my grandpa by now." "Whatever you say Jim, that was him. He's not like me and you, he's something more." "I don't know Jack that guy looked pretty normal to me." Their whispered voices were beyond hearing now. "Well its time I take my leave. You're a funny kid, don't change." William was about to say something, but before he could a cloaked figure fluttered out of his window and soft footsteps were heard on the ground below. Within the period of five seconds William heard two startled yelps, followed by the faint sound of two thuds in the distance. Quite soon after that he heard a horse gallop off on the gravel road. ***** CHAPTER 1 The man walked silently through the mucky streets. His boots sloshed unnoticed as he looked from side to side, slightly moving his head. He lightly pulled his coweled hood farther over his face and pulled the rest of his cloak tighter about his shoulders. People walked by him, unobserving and unassuming. The wet snow fell through the air and everyone was hurrying to get home. Taking a right he entered a dark alley and surveyed it quietly. A grin crept across the man's face but was hidden by his hood. Continuing his pace down the alley he quickly ducked into a side alley and then immediately spun around, bringing the side of his boot against a broad, muscular man's jaw. The large man reeled back in surprise and clutched at his broken jaw. A roar escaped his lips as rage enveloped his emotions, he charged. The man in the cloak took an awkard, but fluent, step backwards, ducked under the heavy punch, and managed to wrap his cloak around the man's face. When the large Bounty Hunter finally ripped the cloak from his face he looked around with a baffledexpression on his face. His opponent was gone, no trace. The man stood and surveyed the tops of the buildings, behind trash piles, and under piles of old clothing. Quite suddenly two muscular forearms came across his back. Toppling forward the Bounty Hunter rolled and recovered. Spinning around he came at the former prey's stomach with one of his huge fists. The man's eyes widened quite suddenly as his forearm was grabbed firmly by the smaller man's hand. Try as he might he could not wrench his arm from the grasp of his enemy. "Jeriks, let go of me!" "What's wrong big man?" Jeriks asked as he brung his right arm around, fist clenched. His knuckles soundly crushed into the man's face as the Hunter began to howl in agony. The man was on the ground now, holding his face once more and whimpering. "Had enough?" Jeriks enticed him, but suddenly the Hunter's left foot swung from behind him. Jeriks' feet were suddenly in the air as his back slammed into the snow. Pain throbbed in Jeriks head but he had to protect himself, had to stay alive. That was Jake Jeriks' only mission in life, to stay alive. He had no other meaning to his life, he just wanted to stay alive, no matter what it took. Flipping up off of his back he reached down to his boot and flicked out a small wicked looking dagger. His opponent was now on his feet and he had drawn a short sword from his belt. The Hunter charged at him and in response to the attack Jeriks spun to the right. He only spun for about half a second and then stopped, and walked over to where his cloak had been thrown. The large predator well he wasn't a predator any longer turned to look at Jeriks as the man calmly threw his cloak back over his body. A questioning look crossed his face and then suddenly he gasped, convulsed shortly, and collapsed into a heap on the ground. Blood leaked from the man's side as Jeriks continued down the alley. ***** Jeriks sat at a table with his hood covering his face. The tavern was full of burly men, and business men alike. They were all shouting, pushing, and laughing. Jeriks surveyed the entire tavern quietly, spotting a number of Bounty Hunters. He judged their level of drunkness and gagued them all as no threat. Just incase he loosened several daggers under his cloak as he sipped at his drink. A heavy man sat down at his table with a tankard of ale full to the brim. His eyes were unfocused and his words were slurred, "Hello friend, what brings ya tuh these parts?" "What do you mean?" Jeriks asked in his soft voice. The man spilt some of his ale onto the table as he responded, "Ah, I s'pose I di'n't spesfy eh?" "Yes, I suppose you didn't." Jeriks nodded and a smile cracked his face as the drunk man quite oddly became amazed by his own hand. Jeriks cleared his throat to bring the attention back. "Ah," the man swayed in his seat, "you'rnt of the same frame as the others in these parts. Yer more the frame of an Injun or sometin." "I suppose I am," Jeriks agreed. "I'm from out of town, visiting a friend here in Virginia." "Oh, what be his name, friend? Per'aps I know of 'im." The drunk was now beginning to lapse in and out of consciousness. His eyes were becoming foggy and even more unfocused. "His name? Oh, his name is George Washington." "Oh, good ol' Georgie! I know 'im, he's a great man, that he is." The drunk said this almost as if he believed it, then he passed out. Jeriks laughed lightly and then took a sip from his drink. Quite suddenly a large man with a shaggy beard, who was more than obviously far gone in drink, bumped into his table and caused him to spill his ale all over the floor. "Hey there foreigner! You say you're sorry!" The shaggy man demanded of Jeriks. Jeriks eyed him quietly and then spoke, "Sorry for what? Stranger." "For bumping into me with your table!" The man exclaimed, swaying where he stood. "I don't believe that was my fault. Now please, for your own safety, go sit down and have another drink." Jeriks turned away from the man and took another sip of his drink. The man muttered something and Jeriks felt the heavy presence of two other men joining him. The largest of the three reached down and placed a hand on Jeriks' muscular shoulder. "My friend would like you to apologise for bumping into him with your table. If you had any sense you would do just that." Before the behemoth of a man had a chance to think, his hand was twisted around twice and his knee was pointing in the other direction. Jeriks' table was now on the ground, legs up and the large man was crying in pain on the floor. His friends both swung and Jeriks fluently dodged both swings, and placed fists in both stomachs. Picking out the man who had so righteously demanded and apology, he kicked him soundly in the ribs and felt more than enough bones crack against his shin. The man actually became airborne as Jeriks used his own bones to puncture his lungs. Jeriks then spun around dodging the third man once more he ducked, rolling on his back swiftly, he used one of his many daggers to cut the muscles the drunkard once called hamstrings. The heavy man wailed and fell face first onto the tavern floor. Jeriks stood calmly and went to leave. Before he took two steps a chair connected with his back and sent him rolling. Before even he could recover a pair of hands was yanking his cloak from his body. Jeriks stood up, cloakless now, and looked for the men who had assaulted him. One held his cloak, and the other still held pieces of the broken chair. They both dropped what they were holding and drew rusty short swords from their belts. Suddenly someone cried, "That's Jake the Knife! Its the Slasher!" Jeriks took that as his cue to leave. A number of blows were exchanged between Jeriks' fists and many Bounty Hunter's faces. After not to long Jeriks was pulling his cloak over himself once more as he fled out into the streets. Usually Jeriks would not flee, normally many would die for no reason. Normally blood would be overflowing into the streets. But today Jeriks didn't feel like killing, he was simply looking for some time to be alone. Many Hunters scrambled out into the snowy streets after their prey, but when they looked down the street there were no signs of Jake the Knife. Not even foot prints from his heavy boots were left in the snow. ****** The night sky was beautiful. Light snow drifted in the wind as the moon shown true in the sky. Stars dazzled the sky and Jeriks was perched atop a low building, looking out on the sparkling ocean. The tranquility of it all set his heart at ease. It was more than true that he had killed many, but it was only to survive. Survival meant it all. As long as Jeriks could stay alive, to witness moments such as these, he would stay alive. He began to move on at a low crouch. He was always as nimble as a cat and rooftops were his favorite place to be. He leapt to another and continued on his way. He had no real destination, he never really did. But he could hear the voices in the air, and they told him to come here. His cloak flapped behind him as he leapt once more. He figured that he might as well get a few hours of sleep. He had been traveling all day and it was only a few hours till sunrise. He jumped down from the building and once he was away from the immediate vacintiy he came out of the shadows and stood up right. Walking along the beach the wind picked up slightly, and along with that the snow fell more and more. His hood blocked the snow from his eyes but it was still awfully cold out. This was the worst part of the year to travel, especially seeing as Jeriks was headed North, but it was the most peaceful and Jeriks loved it. He walked next to the water and listened to the waves break against the soft shore. The wind began to whip at his cloak and he surveyed his surroundings for a place to take shelter for the night. After another few minutes he recognized one of his old hiding spots in a group of rocks and boulders along the outer edge of the beach. Feeling that that would suit his needs just fine Jeriks silently walked toward the crude shelter and ducked in. It seemed less spacious than before but it would do. Crouching he began to dig out a hole in the makeshift cave's floor. Using his daggers it didn't take too long to dig a hole big enough to fit in, and he had marked it previously by burying a blanket at the depth he had it last time. Finally he curled up in the hole, unfolded the brown, wool, blanket, and laid it across his body. Very quicky he fell asleep, though it was a fitful sleep. His dreams were of warring times, times long gone, and sometimes, times soon to come. In this particular dream Jeriks was standing on the plains of a battlefield. The grass was stained with blood, and the sun rose red in the east. The dawn was dark and foreboding, the smell of death haunted the air. Pieces of people littered the ground, and dead bodies were scattered everywhere. At first Jeriks thought that this was a dream of his past. A number of these men were dead with bullets littering their bodies. But soon he found that many others had arrows and swords protruding from their bellies. He walked across the field, and up a hill, examining the various bodies grimly and searching for the cause of all this carnage. As he crested the hill he witnessed a horror above all other horrors. Head upon head were lined on sticks along the field below, surrounding the entire camp. His body felt cold as he walked down the hill and to the campsite. He wasn't sure who could have done something as awful as this but he couldn't let this phase him. Entering the camp he saw that it was occupied by Virginian soldiers. He couldn't believe that they would be capable of this horror. Approaching two of the soldiers he realized that like most of his other dreams, they could not see, hear, or feel his pressence. He stood next to the strong men and listened to their conversation. "Lieutenant Jameson, what exactly happened here?" The first man asked, he seemed to be of a higher rank. "Sir, we were lucky to take the camp. They seemed to only have only a small number of troops, but when we topped the hill they ambushed us from the forest and began to destroy our troops by the hundreds. The only way we managed to win was Special Forces. They got here just in time." Jameson was currently refilling his quiver of arrows. "Well, who's in charge around here? Where's Corporal Lewis?" "Oh," he paused for a moment, "I'm sorry General Bradford, Corporal Lewis is dead. The ranking officer of this division would now be me. But if you want the ranking officer in the camp, that would be Jake Jeriks." "Jake Jeriks? Jeriks is here?" The General's voice was startled, if not more than that. "Yes, sir, I was startled at first. Of course he isn't very talkative." "How did he gain a high position in our army? He should be apprehended at once and taken in!" The General was raising his voice slightly. "I agree, sir, but he has the papers and crudential. He even has Mr. President, and our Majesty's signature on them, along with every other King in America. Jeriks and his Special Forces team have been given control of every army in America." Jameson's face was worried, "Sir, something big is happening, and there's some reason everyone is keeping it in the dark from us." "I believe you're right son, well, I don't really like it too much when people pull the wool over my eyes. I think its time I talk to someone in charge. Where is Jeriks?" "I'm not too sure if you want to talk to Jeriks sir. He still doesn't take very kindly to soldiers who raise their voice at him. It might be wiser to talk to Squad Leader WIlliam Johnson. He's second in command." Lieutenant Jameson's face remained completely serious. "I will not be intimidated by some hundred year old legend!" General Bradford spoke even louder, a few soldiers took their eyes away from their work. "I wouldn't be so headstrong sir, but if you insist, why don't you stop by the infirmary on the way to see Jeriks. PFC Stone will tell you an interesting story." Jameson's face became faintly amused. "I don't have time for story telling Lieutenant!" Bradford thought about it for a second, "The infirmary huh?" He asked Jameson. "Yeah, severe bleeding, he may be traumatized a bit, we're still trying to find out. He should be able to get back on the field eventually." "Oh, really... So where did you say Squad Leader Johnson is?" Lieutenant Jameson cracked a smile and he pointed toward a large tent around the middle of the encampment. General Bradford nodded, "Thank you, Lieutenant." "My pleasure sir." Jeriks walked invisibly behind General Bradford, following him into the large tent. The flaps closed behind Bradford but they did not need to part for Jeriks, he simply phased through them. Inside it was dark except for a single candle, lit in the middle of a table. A large man sat in the chair, he had been talking to someone but stopped once General Bradford entered. The man stood, the General saluted and then extended his hand. The large man was in full uniform and holding his helmet. He slowly placed the helmet on the table and saluted the General, also extending his hand afterwards. They shook and then he offered Bradford a chair. "Excuse me, but if you don't mind me saying, there are no other chairs Squad Leader." As if on cue a chair slid across the ground, directly behind Bradford. "There you go General," The large young man smiled and seated himself, "Word around camp is that you wanted to speak to me?" "How could you possibly know that? And where did this chair come from?" The General had a slightly worried look on his face as he sat down. "Ah, well you see, I have many tricks. Well, my colleagues do anyways. As for how we knew what you wanted, well, we've had scouts and spies following you for the last few days. One of them, a most skilled spy, heard you talking to one of your men. I believe it was about four days ago." Squad Leader scatched lightly at his unshaven chin. The General was about to speak but a sudden, sharp pain lit up in Jeriks' right shoulder. The General's mouth was moving but Jeriks could hear nothing. Suddenly he bolted out of his fitful sleep and immediately knew what the tingling sensation in his shoulder was. He quickly scanned the den with his steel grey eyes. They froze on the small, and quick copperhead. It reared back once more but Jeriks reflexively grabbed it right behind its head. He looked into its eyes briefly and saw a familiar glint. Before the snake could manage a hiss Jerik's dagger ripped its body open. He tossed it to the ground and proceeded to cut the head off. After the snake was efficiently terminated Jeriks turned to his shoulder. The poison was just getting started and that was good. Also the snake had had trouble getting through his shirt and cloak. Yanking the cloak off he calmly rolled his sleeve up and placed his mouth to his shoulder. The bite was in a convenient spot and he could reach it without difficulty. He briefly sucked on the wound, and then turned his head and spat the poison onto the ground. Pulling out one of his daggers he swiftly cut into his shoulder, getting rid of the area that was already infected. He winced and finished the job. Without thinking once more about it he rolled his sleeve back over it. Throwing his cloak back on he decided it was time to leave. Burying his blanket once more and covering his tracks he entered the cool night air. It was very uncommon for a snake to be out and about this time of year. Even more unusual for it to be near the beach, and in this region. Another peculiarity about the encounter was that most snakes do not attack without a reason. That is why he had suspected certain influencing on someone elses part. The look in the snakes eyes was that of a certain toxin. This certain toxin corrupted an animal's mind, and made it open for commands, the animals would then do anything they were told. It was often used by Bounty Hunters. If a Bounty Hunter found you dead it was only half the reward, but still a reward. This particular Hunter must be new to the job, but good none the less. He was able to track Jeriks this far, but that was only because he had other things on his mind. As Jeriks thought over what he would do the next time this Hunter tried to kill him, he subconciously made his ways to the Plains of Chesterfield. Chesterfield was a very busy city of the Virginian Territory. Most people went to the city to visit museums and shop in the market place. Jeriks had no interest in the city, but he needed food soon and the Plains of Chesterfield had good game, if you knew where to look. ***** The chesnut stallion was strong, but young and that was a bit of a hindrance, Jeriks paid scant attention though. He rode at a gallop for short intervals during the day, the horse loved to run, but at night he simply walked. He wasn't in much of a hurry, but he was running somewhat low on food, and he didn't want to exhaust the young animal. It took him four days to reach Chesterfield following a path that not many knew about. Had he taken the highway he would have been there in about two days, but there was no need to take the chance of attracting attention. He dismounted his horse at a tavern and shook the large snowflakes from his hood. He little worries of being spotted in such a busy place, and this tavern was usually clean of Hunters. He dropped his hood and ran his hair through his blond, scraggly hair. It had grown quite long over the seasons, he felt little need to cut it. His bangs now covered his eyes if he let them, but he rarely did. It came in handy though, when he wanted to watch someone indiscreetly. He entered the tavern and sat down at the table, he ordered a drink and hoped for no interruptions like last time. After finishing his drink he decided it was time to find some food. He stood and left the building, leaving his horse tied to the post he headed across the street and into a small convenience store. The man at the counter looked up from his business and looked a bit surprised. "Its been a while Dekan. How've you been?" The man gave him a grin and stuck his hand out across the counter. "Its been alright Horace, how're the kids?" Jeriks voice was masked in a very good Virginian accent. He took the man's hand and shook it firmly. "Oh they're just fine, the missus is expecting another pretty soon." "Oh, is that right? Well congratulations old friend! Give her my good word." A smile crossed Jeriks' face, and it was genuine. "I'll do just that, I'm sure she'll be just delighted," the man smiled grandly. "And here, give these to your boys, and I'll make one for the newcomer as soon as possible." Jeriks reached into his cloak and pulled out three polished, silver coins that had holes punched through them, and a small silver chain ran through them. He had made these on his way to Chesterfield. "No, I couldn't take this," Horace declined modestly. "I insist," Jeriks pushed, "I made them just for the boys, it will remind them of their Uncle Dekan. And if you look closely you'll see that these aren't your ordinary silver coins. These are some of the ancient coins from when the world first reverted back to this style of money." Jeriks handed the coins over to Horace. Horace examined both sides carefully. "Where did you ever find something so valuable? And why on Earth would you give them to my boys?" "Oh, I found them here and there. But don't worry, I have many more where they came from, but I engraved each of the boy's initials on one of the coins." "Thank you, very much friend. So, what can I do you for? You know, you haven't changed a bit, except that you need a little trim." The man watched as Jeriks made his way to the hunting gear. "Yes, the years have been good to me." He scratched at his growing beard, "You don't think this is a good look for me?" The man laughed lightly, "No, thats not it, its just getting a bit shaggy, of course I'll always be partial to close trimmed hair myself." Horace brushed his hand through his short cropped hair. It was black, but beginning to grey at the temples. "Ah, you would look quite funny with a big beard my friend," Jeriks chuckled. "So how much will this be?" The owner of the store looked over the items briefly, "Well, normally this would come out to about twelve brass and a silver, but for you friend it'll just be a silver piece." He looked over the equipment once more, his face became puzzled and he frowned. "Are you sure you don't want anymore arrows?" "I don't even have a bow, my old one broke some time ago. I'll have to buy a new one soon, but I don't suppose I'll need it for this." Jeriks reached into his cloak for his pouch. "But, aren't you going hunting? I know you're a strong man, but it will be hard to catch anything in the Chesterfield Woods without at least a few arrows." "I'll be alright friend, but thank you for your worry." He removed the pouch from his pocket and it jingled with the sound of gold. He placed it heavily on the counter and searched through it for a silver piece. Horace was staring at the pouch enviously, "I see business has been doing well." "Oh, yes the trade from Texas to Virginia is very busy this time of year. The Virginians are getting cloaks from the north, and everyone knows they make the best cloaks. They then sell them to the Texans. Between you and me, the prices that they sell them to the Texans for are a bit hefty. So my strategy is not to charge as much for the cloaks, that way I get many more customers and end up with the larger profit." Jeriks scratched at his head for a second, "I ran out and so I decided to come back to Virginia for a while. Besides I'm running out of food." He pulled a silver coin from his pouch and dropped it into his old friend's hand. Grabbing the canvas bag from the table he began to drop his supplies into it and then tied it shut. "Thank you very much friend, I'll be sure to stop by again." "You're very welcome Dekan, I'll hope to see you later." Jeriks was halfway to the door when Horace called for him to stop, he turned around. "Are you planning to go visit Jessica?" "Ah, perhaps I might. I hadn't even thought about it really." Jeriks absently pushed the hair from his eyes. "Yeah, you should think about it, you left quite a memory on her the last time you visited, though she was young then she hasn't stopped asking when you'll be back." Jeriks grinned then, something that not many people had seen him do. "Okay, I'll stop by before I go hunting." *Under Construction* |
![]() Xantar: And for your information, I didn't call on any minions. They got into this on their own, and they seem to be having a blast. Marci: Screw you too, I'm not your minion. Xantar: Also, Makokam is not my minion. Just thought I'd point that out.
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| Slappy | Oct 29 2004, 05:29 AM Post #2 |
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New and Improved
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Jeriks grinned then, something that not many people had seen him do. "Okay, I'll stop by before I go hunting." He adjusted the sack on his shoulder and exited the small shop, waving to his friend over his shoulder. As he walked down the bustling street, leading his horse, he nodded to familiar faces in the crowd. This was one of the only places that he could be at peace. Bounty Hunters were looked down upon in Chesterfield, and would normally be locked up under false charges. Whenever Bounty Hunters entered the town and stayed for just a little while they would normally end up causing some sort of commotion, and the people of Chesterfield didn't like commotion. Jeriks was safe here, he knew that and so he walked with his hood down, and was able to look people in the eyes without assuming... too much. Even though he felt safe and secure here, it was not his home, he had no home. And he could trust very little to none. Because of his lack of trust the people here knew him as the Virginian Dekan, son of Delar. The people of Virginia, like some other Countries, now used last names very little, and rather used their father's name as their last name. It was easier to figure out if you knew them that way. There could be many Mr. Smiths and Mrs. Johnsons, but very little chance of more than one Cory, son of Ian. Also they used more complex names these days, instead of Mike and Bob, they now had names such as, Iricksan, or Jadoran. With these more unique names they were less likely to have the same name as someone else. It was also common in these cultures for the son to have a name somewhat familiar to the father's, no one was sure why, it just turned out that way. If Jeriks had been born in this time he simply wouldn't have a last name, for he was a bastard. Since the Revolution, long ago, many things had changed. It was necessary for the culture to advance, they had just gone back a few centuries to do so. It was much simpler this way and a lot easier to manage, they found out. The Nation's leaders had very little problems to worry about. Pollution was close to none, and people ate much better now that they didn't have manufactured junk and fried foods to munch on. People grew up to be bigger and stronger, also better educated. Since there was no more technology, that meant no more television, which meant if someone was laying around they were most likely doing it for a healthy reason, such as: sleeping, reading, or resting after a game of tag. Jeriks had seen it all, and admired it greatly, it was after all partly because of him. He grinned smugly on the inside as he tied his horse's reins around a post outside of a small, comfy looking house. It was very obvious that a different side of Jeriks came out when he entered this town. Dekan came out then and Dekan was a very different person. Dekan was much unlike Jeriks and in a way Jeriks liked Dekan better than he liked himself. Dekan smiled often, and was able to joke around. Dekan wanted a family and wanted love, Jeriks just wanted to survive. Though Jeriks had a great sense of humor, outside of Chesterfield he had little to joke about and was generally more of a silent natured guy. When elsewhere, he didn't enjoy much company because he didn't know whether he could trust them or not, so he put up the intimidating face. This worked for Jeriks, but Dekan enjoyed the company of his friends. Jeriks opened the gate small white fence and walked up to the door, knocking lightly. No response. He heard some singing from out back, the song and voice were very familiar to his heart. He reached into his cloak and pulled out a beautifully carved ocarina. He held it lightly to his lips and began to blow into it, the melody lifted into the air as he walked around the house. For more than a few moments the beautiful woman sung while Jeriks played the melody on his ocarina, their music was pure and beautiful as it rang through the streets. When the song ended the woman, who was sitting on a stump, her back to Jeriks, spun around and ran at him. "Its you! When I heard your ocarina I couldn't force myself to believe that you were back but you really are!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the lips. He returned her affection as he picked her up and spun her around. She laughed as she spun and then he put her down to the ground and looked into her eyes, "Did you really think I wouldn't return?" "Its been almost three years, I was starting to grow suspicious." She smiled affectionately and held onto his strong arm as if it were her only hope to survive a long fall. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but pressing business came up and I had to visit some of my distant friends. I'm back now though," Jeriks leaned down and kissed her forehead. He was about a head taller than her, a little more. She was a very beautiful young woman, Rachel had long brown hair, it was wavy and reached half way down her back. Her frame was petite and fragile. Jeriks loved her skin, it was always smooth and tanned from being out in the sun. Even though she was wearing her winter cloak her curves were visible. "Well as long as you're here with me why don't you come in and have some coffee? Its still early in the day and you look like you could use it." She smiled her bright, straight toothed smile and led him toward her backdoor. "I had a long night, I couldn't find a nice place to sleep so I just rode most of the night until I found one. I couldn't risk finding another snake in my sleeping quarters." "Oh, how awful! Well I can assure you there are no snakes in my house," she laughed her pearly laugh and opened the door. The interior of the house had changed little since Jeriks was last here. It was still lain with soothing, light colors, and it was very bright from the many large scentless candles in all the rooms. There were also other candles mixed in, candles that smelled of sweet vanilla, it was a vanilla that Jeriks had only smelled on Rachel, and never anyone else. She led him by hand to the living room, which was a light blue color, with fluffy matching pillows stacked in corners. Virginian's favorite thing to do when they weren't active was to lounge and read, or talk, and so they had a stack of pillows in every room. The couch was a darker blue, with white and light blue pillows on it. Jeriks removed his cloak, as was customary and hung it on the rack next to the living room door, Rachel did the same. Her clothing was very relaxed, this was very normal for Virginians, unlike some of the new countries. They had changed their clothing very little over the last few centuries. In other countries ladies were only allowed to wear dresses, and men dressed in robes, doublets, and tunics. In Virginia women could wear pants like the gentlemen, and they also wore T-shirts. Men were known to wear pants and shirt, then cloak when it was cold. It had changed very little. Rachel was breathtaking, she wore tight fitting blue jeans, that had no pockets. It seemed odd to jeriks not to have any pockets, but he supposed that was why women had purses and pocket books. she wore a small yellow vest that was open, and a small white T-shirt under that. Her boots were gray with fur lining the top and she removed her silky, gray winter gloves. As Jeriks admired her she turned around and caught sight of the dried bloodstain on his shoulder. "Dekan! What happened to you!?" She demanded striding over to where he stood. She rolled his sleeve up over the wound and gasped, he winced. "Careful with it Rachel." He warned her. "Its really no big deal, the snake got me the other night, but I clean it up. Its still a bit tender though so don't mess with it." Jeriks tried to take his arm back but she wouldn't let go. "No, I'm going to patch this up or it will get infected. And while I'm at it, I think I'll cut your hair for you. Its entirely too long, and you really need a shave. Come on follow me." He didn't really have to follow as she dragged him down the hall and into the kitchen. It was large enough to cook in, and white. She sat him down at a table in the middle of the room and went to a small cabinet. She returned shortly and placed certain ointments and antidotes on his shoulder. When she finished treating it she covered it with bandages and gauze. "Thank you Rachel, but it wasn't necessary." Jeriks smiled fondly at her as she put away her medical equipment. "Of course it was, I can't have you going and dying from infection!" As she put the materials away she got some others from a different cabinet. "Trust me, I've survived much worse." Jeriks rolled his sleeve back down over the gauze. "What are you doing now?" "Giving you a hair cut of course. You forget so easily Dekan," she chided him as she returned with a large piece of cloth. She placed the cloth over his chest and tucked it into the back of his black T-shirt. He sighed, "I suppose thats fine, but lets not take all day with it, I'm supposed to go hunting, I'm running low on food." "Hunting? You mean you aren't going to stay and talk with me?" Rachel's bottom lip immediately stuck out and her eyes got the all to familiar puppy dog look in them. Jeriks' heart dropped immediately, "Well, Rachel I need to get some food." "I have plenty of food," Rachel argued, her eyes gleaming with mirth she began to strut towards him seductively. Slowly she straddled his legs and leaned forward to kiss him. The kiss was passionate and filled with love. She sat up straight and looked into his steel eyes, running her hands down his chest. She loved to feel his muscles. "Can't you stay with me while you're here? Its not like you have reservations at the hotel." Jeriks resigned, "I suppose I could, couldn't I? Well I might as well, but hurry up with this haircut, I have to shower. I haven't bathed in a week at least. I'll just hunt later." Rachel kissed him again and then got out of his lap, her nose wrinkled, "Yes, please shower." Jeriks laughed. *************** About a half hour later Rachel handed Jeriks a small handheld mirror. He admired his reflection for a bit and conceded that she was a pretty good haircutter. His hair was now trimmed awfully short, and his beard was trimmed into a goatee that covered his upper lip, chin, and a small patch under his lip. Rachel ran her hands through his hair and then took the cloth from his chest. "Now you go take a bath, I'll prepare that cup of coffee that I promised for you." She continued putting everything away as Jeriks made his way into the bathroom. The bathroom was well lit and dry, he picked a guest towel from the linen closet and turned on the shower-head. Taking off his clothing he stepped into the gentle beams of water. It felt good to clean himself again, the warm water felt very magical. He closed the curtain and began to wash himself with the soap. While he was washing his hair he heard the door open, "I've brought you some extra clothes, they were my father's. They should fit you about right, bring your clothes to the washroom when you finish up. Jeriks rinsed his hair, turned off the water, and dried himself thoroughly with the towel. Once he was dry he grabbed the black boxer-briefs that she had presented him with and put them on. After that he pulled on the dark blue pants and the long sleeved dark blue cotton shirt. He removed all of his knives from his pants and placed them in his canvas bag. He then threw the bag over his shoulder, picked up his clothes and boots and went out into the hall. He ducked into the next room for a moment to pile his clothing with Rachel's garments. Entering the living room he placed his bag and boots next to the place where his coat hung and looked around for Rachel. She was not there so he snuck barefoot toward the kitchen. She was in the kitchen fixing the coffee on the counter. He walked silently until he was directly behind her and then wrapped his arms around her gently, she jumped and then he began to nibble gently on her ear. "Dekan," she giggled, "don't startle me like that! I nearly spilled the coffee. Now, lets go into the living room." Jeriks followed her into the room, holding her hips, she set the two cups of coffee on coasters and allowed Jeriks to sit down. Immediately Jeriks made himself comfy and leaned back in a lounging way. Rachel sat down directly next to him and lay down on him, resting her head gently on his chest. "Dekan, I've missed you." "I missed you too Rachel, I'm glad to be back." He ran his fingers through her wavy hair and rested it on the small of her back as she snuggled up closer to him. She had by now taken her shoes off and wiggled her bare-feet off the edge of the couch. *Explicit Sex Scene Follows, I will not post it as of yet, because I am not sure how sensitive some of the viewers are. If I did post it without warning or permission, people may blame me for vomitting fits lol just kidding. But serious, in the sex scene, which is very long, I go into much detail, and I got a lot of information from my friends who are girls. They told me of some of their exploits and their feelings on certain subjects, and so I tried my best to get the girl's frame of mind. I am not however a girl, or gay, so ladies don't be offended by some of my ill knowledge. Now keep in mind, when this portion is posted, IF it is posted, there are some things in it that even I wouldn't do, but I took various stories from my anonymous sources, and put them together as well as I could and I think it turned out pretty good. Though I have not experienced any of this I'd say its pretty well put together, of course I wrote it so I'm a bit biased. If you are not older than 18... which I'm not.. HAHA... you should not read it, but keep in mind, I did warn you and thats really all that matters. I also got a lot of good information from assorted Explicit Stories, it was purely research I assure you. Some of the stuff in the following writing I had not even HEARD of, but it has all been done to some extent by others, some of my friends *Shudder* and so don't think I'm some kind of sick, twisted, pervert. Because... I'm not... really. Anyways I've wanred you all, and it isn't really all that bad, no violence or anything, my characters are just freaks, like I'm sure a few of you are... Anyways if I post it I hope you enjoy it, I've never really written a sex scene before, but if I were to make a movie out of it it'd be pretty hot and rated X lol.* |
![]() Xantar: And for your information, I didn't call on any minions. They got into this on their own, and they seem to be having a blast. Marci: Screw you too, I'm not your minion. Xantar: Also, Makokam is not my minion. Just thought I'd point that out.
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| Slappy | Dec 12 2004, 10:10 PM Post #3 |
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New and Improved
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"I missed you too Rachel, I'm glad to be back." He ran his fingers through her wavy hair and rested it on the small of her back as she snuggled up closer to him. She had by now taken her shoes off and was wiggling her bare-feet off the edge of the couch. Later in the day jeriks decided that it was about time to go hunting. He walked to Rachel's door, "Rachel, I'm leaving, I'm going to go and get some food, I'll probably be back in a few hours." "What? And you aren't going to invite me?" Rachel's voice seemed a bit hurt. "Did you want to go? I didn't know you could hunt." "You never really asked. Now ask me if I want to go." Her voice was strict. "I already did didn't I?" Jeriks was baffled. "No, you asked if I wanted to go, not if I want to go." "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie," he apologized, "I didn't realize the difference." Jeriks knew very well that there was no difference, she just wanted to be difficult. "Would you like to go hunting with me dear?" "No, not really," she said simply as she opened the door. "Are you kidding me?" Jeriks' face was defeated. A smile crept across her face, "Of course I'm kidding silly, but now I've got to change! Go prepare me some of your daggers, and get my bow out of the shed. The quiver is full and is hanging right next to it. Thank you Jake." Jeriks' heart stopped. Could she possibly know? It was very possible that she had figured it out, but she had never said anything about it. He decided to let it go for now. Rachel returned to her room, and Jeriks turned to go gather his daggers and change clothes. Jeriks changed back into his now clean and dry clothes, they were much more comfortable and easier to maneuver. His shirt was still ripped but it was now dry and smelled of detergent. He figured that Rachel must have washed and dried them when he had been asleep. Jeriks gathered his daggers from his bag and returned them to their assorted places. He left out a few though, two straight daggers, a survival knife, and a wickedly curved blade. These were to be for Rachel, he wanted to see how she faired with them. She claimed she could hunt, but he never suspected it of her. After he had re-equiped himself he threw his cloak on and headed out back to the shed. When he opened the backdoor snow blew into his face, a small blizzard was blowing through the air, he lifted his arm to shield his eyes. He put on his hood and made his way to the shed. When he opened the shed's door he heard a winny, he looked inside, it was dim but he could see something moving. His horse was in there, tied to a pole. He had forgotten all about the poor horse, but it seemed that Rachel had taken care of him before the blizzard began. He'd have to thank her for that later. Looking around he spotted a short brown bow propped against the wall, above it hung a quiver of arrows, hanging from a nail in the wall. He slung the quiver across his chest and headed out and back into the house. Rachel was waiting for him, she wore black, elastic pants, and a black, long sleeved shirt, that covered her stomach. Her hair was up in a bun, and she wore no earrings. At least she knew how to dress smart. They left Rachel's house and set off toward the Northern Woods. The Woods were a large part of the Plains of Chesterfield, and had some of the best hunting in them. Jeriks had been here many times and prefered to hunt here when possible. They both rode the young stallion into the snowy plains and across them, it was about two leagues to the forest. When they arrived Jeriks tied the horse's reins to a solid, but small, tree. He turned to Rachel, "You must be quiet, and stay alert." "I know how to hunt Jake!" Rachel countered. "Okay, and why are you calling me Jake all of a sudden?" "Well that is your name isn't it?" She reached behind her back and retrieved her short bow and one arrow. "Well yes, but I've never told anyone around these parts that name. Around here I'm Dekan." "No, you'll always be Jake Jeriks. Its who you are." "But I think I'd rather be Dekan." Jeriks turned away from her. "No, don't ever say that," he felt her light hand on his shoulders, "Jeriks is who you are, and so he must be the better person." "Thank you Rache, but then I guess you know of my history?" "Yes, I do." "And that doesn't bother you?" His voice was fallen. "No, not one bit," she replied, "not at all." This was shocking to Jeriks, most would be terrified of his past. A sudden hope lit up inside him. It was time to go hunting. "Come on, lets go hunting!" Jeriks turned and ran into the forest, followed closely by Rachel. ************** Deep into the forest Jeriks stopped, lifting his face to the trees. He sniffed lightly and listened. The forest was his element, his home. Whenever he was outside he felt much more comfortable than he did inside. The forest was home to all animals, and he was after all, just an animal. Listening to the wind he heard something, and then caught a faint smell. His head turned sharply and he saw some movement. "Rachel," he whispered hoarsely to her, "get into a tree." "Why would I do that?" She questioned lightly. "Get into a tree Rachel!" "Ok, fine." Rachel moved quickly and lightly, using branches to climb her way into the nearest tree. Jeriks moved silently, his movements ghost-like. Before Rachel's eyes he vanished. Suddenly a powerful bear lumbered into view, and close behind him was an orange and black tiger. The strange pair sniffed around for a few moments, looking around for whatever they sought. Slowly Rachel began to draw her bow, pulling the arrow back against the string. When she had almost finished pulling back against the string it made a low groaning sound as the string stretched. The tiger was alerted at the noise and began searching for its whereabouts. When Rachel was sure the tiger was unable to find her she let the arrow fly, a sharp zinging sound echoed as the string snapped back into place. In an amazing display of speed and reflexes, the tiger jumped out of the way. Rachel had never seen such speed in an animal, the tiger looked directly at her now. As the feline gathered the momentum to pounce the bear continued to lumber its way through the brush, searching for something. A moment before the tiger pounced, a flash crashed into its side and both the tiger and the new arrival went tumbling. As the tiger recovered so did the man, who Rachel now identified as Jeriks. **************** Jeriks hopped backwards as one of the tiger's clawed paws swung at his stomach. As soon as the tiger was vunerable Jeriks slashed it across its muzzle. Taking another enraged swing it left itself open once more, and Jeriks quickly slashed it twice. While dodging and slashing Jeriks studied the tiger's eyes, and noticed the same steely glint in them. After a while of getting his face cut up the tiger caught on. Realizing that this plan of attack would no longer work, he let out a roar and jumped back, running in a semi circle. The tiger sprung into a nearby tree and roared once more. Jeriks turned and just managed to roll out of the way of the charging bear. Turning around, the huge grizzly got up on two feet and clumsily tried to attack Jeriks. The bear was at least two feet bigger than Jake but he was able to grab the bear's two massive forearms and hold him at bay for the moment. To even Jeriks' surprise, an arrow whizzed out of Rachel's tree and lodged itself in the bear's back. This distracted the bear long enough so that Jeriks could roll out of the way. Unsheathing two daggers he flipped backward and then assumed an awkward stance. He held the two curved, and jagged edged, daggers hilt up. His back was bent slightly and his arms were held sort of close to his body. As he assumed the stance he started bobbing back and forth a bit. The bear angrily charged at him once more, and Jeriks quickly threw out an arm. The blade cut deeply along the bear's side as it passed by him. A roar escaped it mouth as it loomed up above Jeriks once more. Jeriks thought quickly and ran smoothly toward him, the bear swung his right paw horizontally at the opposing man, as he had hoped. He stepped ligthly to the right and dodged the strong arm, grabbing onto a clump of the bear's shaggy fur, he jumped and ran up the bear's arm. Swinging himself around he straddled the monster's back. Rapidly he began stabbing the beast's upper back, the ridges in the daggers began ripping muscle tissue as they unsheathed and sheathed again in his shoulders. As this occurred, two more arrows pierced the shaggy animal's inside knees, causing it to topple forward. The heavy animal landed with a resounding thud, and to make sure it was dead Jeriks stabbed it twice in the shoulder pressure points. Jeriks stood and looked around carefully, his steel eyes scanning for the now missing tiger. A sudden movement from behind alerted him. He spun and caught the tiger's weight full on his chest. Rolling the beast off of him he backed up cautiously. The tiger was an excellent fighter and very brave and strong, it would be a waste to kill such a wonderful animal. The tiger lunged, Jeriks sidestepped it. Jeriks' eyes boar into the tiger's, if he could only get close enough. Another lunge proved faulty on the tiger's part. But this time Jeriks scrambled quickly up a tree, and the tiger followed. Branch by branch the animal pursued its prey. When they were midway Jeriks stopped and swung around to the other side of the tree. The tiger swung a paw at the quick man, and Jeriks moved around the trunk so that he was out of reach. This time the left paw swung around, reaching for flesh. Jeriks once again moved out of the way. This would get him nowhere. Jeriks turned and lept into a surrounding tree. The tiger made its way to the edge of the branch, thinking it would follow Jeriks, instead the foolish man lept back into the tiger's tree. Grabbing the tiger's neck, they both fell down out of the tree, Jeriks refused to let go of the animal as they fell. Landing in a pile of snow Jeriks stayed on his back. He expertly put the tiger in a submission move, and eventually it stopped struggling so much. At this point Jeriks carefully began to stroke the animal behind its ear, its face had dried and frozen blood on it from where he had had to cut him. Slowly he crept up the tiger's body and managed to look into his eyes. "Bear with me friend, this may hurt." He pulled a syringe from out of his cloak, it was something he kept strapped into his pocket so he would never lose it, and it was made out of the old bullet-proof glass. The syringe was filled with an orange liquid, it reversed the Bounty Hunter's drugs. The only problem was that it had to be injected into the tear duct. Very quickly and accurately he jabbed the long needle into the wounded animal's eye and injected the serum. Once he pulled it out the tiger let out a loud, wailing moan. He lay there for a while and stroked the tiger behind its ears. **************** Rachel had come down out of her tree and was treating the tiger's wounds. "Are you going to keep him Jake? Isn't he dangerous?" "No, not anymore Rachel, he was being controlled by something other than his brain." Jeriks was cleaning his Rip Daggers, as he called them, and preparing to skin and cut up the bear for meat. "Oh, it was Hunter's Request wasn't it? The illegal drug that Bounty Hunter's use? Its been outlawed in Virginia, Texas, and Maine." "Just because its outlawed doesn't mean they don't use it." "I suppose thats true." She thought to herself for a moment, then she spoke up, "Did you have to kill the bear?" "No, but he would have killed me. I only had enough serum for one animal. Besides, I've never really liked bears too much, and I needed the meat. Plus bear meat is much tastier and in greater abundance, as you can tell, than tiger meat." "Yes, I guess you're right." Rachel continued to patch up the tiger as Jeriks sat down to began skinning the enormous bear. "Jake?" "Yes?" "What was that fighting style you used against that bear? I've seen many fights in my life, some very poorly fought and other fights that were fought by experts, but I've never seen or heard of a style such as yours." "No one else would know of it because I came up with it myself. Its a mix of various sword, dagger, and fist fighting styles. In order to use it you must be able to catch flies. Not many people can do that, but my style involves lightning quick reflexes. The stance allows easy defense and quick and painful offense. I prefer this style when using my Rip Daggers, but it is also very handy with regular daggers, various knives, tonfas, and bare fists if needed." Jeriks finished cutting a large portion of the bear's skin off and threw it down beside him. "The entire premise of the fighting style is so that your opponent cannot gauge what your next attack will be. Every attack you use generates from various positions, and none have a certain release point. I could lean backward and attack with an upper cut just as easily as if I were leaning forward, and at pretty much the same speed." "Because of the unpredictable attacks and speed it is a very hard style to defend against. There is also three forms to it; Slasher, Intricate, and Backhand. I use a mixture of the three most of the time. It would obviously take a tad more skill and practicing to be able to wield two weapons at once, but after I worked at it I found that I prefered it." He placed a large chunk of bear meat ontop of the bear hide he had placed earlier. He then expertly tied the ends of the hide together and made a makeshift carrier for that piece of meat. "Do you suppose you could teach me this fighting technique sometime Jeriks?" Rachel inquired while continuing to nurture the purring tiger. "Yes, I suppose I could. When would you like to start?" "Whenever you're ready Rachel." "How about tomorrow?" "Well, maybe not so soon, I'm going to be leaving, but I'll be back. This Hunter is obviously getting close and I have to handle this before he hurts someone other than me." Jeriks tied up another piece of meat. "Then I'm coming with you." "Its too dangerous Rachel, I won't let you." Rachel stood and walked toward him, "Well why not? I can keep my own! I can cook and I can fight. Plus I don't think I'd be that bad of company." She looked at him, her bottom lip began to stick out, "Puh-lease Jeriks? Pretty please?" Jeriks began to feel his heart melt. "Rachel, you've got to understand that this is no field trip. This could be very dangerous, I don't want you getting hurt." "I won't get hurt, you'll be there to protect me won't you? Promise to protect me Jeriks?" He thought it over for a moment and decided that she wouldn't be in the way too much. "Yes, I suppose it will be okay. I will protect you." "Thank you Jake!" *Under Construction* |
![]() Xantar: And for your information, I didn't call on any minions. They got into this on their own, and they seem to be having a blast. Marci: Screw you too, I'm not your minion. Xantar: Also, Makokam is not my minion. Just thought I'd point that out.
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| Holocollector | Jul 23 2005, 01:30 PM Post #4 |
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Christmas is Coming
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For the prologue, and chapter 1 (havn't finished it). I personally don't like when they tell me stories like that in a story like this with interruptions (like in serious stuff) and when the charcaters are kids, as narrator it could have been more effective in my opinion and you aren't as limited when telling this story like so and so happened and thats why they killed everyone at the village. You kind of portray him as something awesome but maybe if I if were to head into your direction I would say it as the narrator, these people annoy me at least in the part where they sound like children. Personally I found kids annoying in stories thats why I cut them out of mine. Jack kind of appears out of the blue with no hint as to a explanation unless I missed it. However it is interesting that this guy is powerful, and you are thinking, how are they going to kill him? I also dont like how It just sounds like he is this kind of celebirty when the kid meets him. (is he a teenager by the way?) You kind of don't explore his thoughts that is what is bothering, I can understand he is talking to a kid and won't say anything like that but where are his thoughts later on, you kind of delay that in the second post. While it is interesting that he this powerful person, he felt that he needed a more embellished past in chapter 1 and more explanation of thought when does things that are cruel (doing what is to the extreme of bad, killing 1000 is something you must make us ask). I kind see skimming a bit of chapter 1 in the second post, he is finally thinking these kind of thoughts. I will continue some other time don't know when I'll finish it, either this week or next. (take in mind I havn't finished it, and my comments could change bit, I am on near the start of the second post). |
| Note: My english writing skills need work so donīt even think of asking me to change it entirely or relearn my english (the impossible). I donīt like the signature, I willl eventually add a picture. | |
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| Slappy | Nov 22 2005, 02:51 PM Post #5 |
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New and Improved
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I can't quite make out all of your points of my writing but I'll address some of them: Telling the story from Jenny's point of view to William: I did this so that you could get a feel for the character as a myth before you got to know him as a person. It also introduces you to o ne of the later characters of the story who is identified as a main character in the dream of Chapter 1. One thing that I'd say is a flaw in my writing is that I write it as I see it in my head, like a movie, so it makes more sense to me because I'm seeing everything the way I'd make them if I were a producer of the movie for this story. Its a bit complicated, but if you just imagine you're reading a very vivid script it might help a bit. They sound like children: One of them is a 6-8 year old boy, and the other is his teenage sister, they're pretty much children. But the girl, Jenny, tells the story rather well I thought. And of course an 8 year old boy is going to interrupt constantly. Kids are annoying in stories: So you don't put any children in any story that you write? Thats odd but sure. Anyway, I used children because one of the children grows to become a main character, I was just showing you his admoration for Jake when he was a kid. Plus the tales of Jeriks, which are a collection of myths telling of his history, were meant to scare children and so it makes sense to tell them to a child. Jack seemed to appear out of nowhere: You mean Jake right? He came in through William's window, that is discussed repeatedly I believe. William thought that over for a moment, "Wow, and you're still able to climb through my bedroom window?" "I'm still able to do a lot of things," just then a pair of men trotted by on their horses, they were talking amongst themselves. Hence, he came through the window, and later he extis through the window. It is a sudden appearance because he is running from the law and climbed through the nearest open window, this is explained in the story. I also dont like how It just sounds like he is this kind of celebirty when the kid meets him. (is he a teenager by the way?): Is who a teenager? Jeriks is over 100 hundred years old, and the mysteries of his past explain that. I wasn't about to explain the entire mystery of the Jeriks' character in the Prologue. And he is treated like a celebrity because he has many myths told about him and William wants to be like him when he grows up. He should also be dead by normal standards and so its a bit surprising. I mean did you read the story? THis man is said to have slaughtered a thousand people in one night, have red eyes, and be 8 feet. (This is just a myth, but that was all William knew.) Where are his thoughts?: The part with William is told from William's perspective, and WIlliam is not a mind reader. I'll admit I'm not the best at writing long paragraphs about how they're thinking, but I'm wroking on that and the reason is because I write like I'm writing a movie. But in Chapter 1 it is basically showing you his way of life in this day and age, running from the police and bounty hunters, just trying to survive. While it is interesting that he this powerful person, he felt that he needed a more embellished past in chapter 1 and more explanation of thought when does things that are cruel (doing what is to the extreme of bad, killing 1000 is something you must make us ask): What? Anyways, I'd like you and more to finish reading this, I'd love to continue it but I've lost track of my ideas and plots for this story in the transfer from my old laptop to this one and my home computer. So if I find them I will more than likely start it up again. In the mean time read it, leave more comments and tell me if my answers helped at all. And look out for another piece I should be putting up soon, its a bit more modern and better-written I think. Thank you for reading it at all Holo. |
![]() Xantar: And for your information, I didn't call on any minions. They got into this on their own, and they seem to be having a blast. Marci: Screw you too, I'm not your minion. Xantar: Also, Makokam is not my minion. Just thought I'd point that out.
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| Holocollector | Nov 24 2005, 04:33 PM Post #6 |
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Christmas is Coming
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Well I am going to have to read it over. Hopefully vacation will give me sometime to do this. Take in mind that I was using some of my expereinces and that I even disagree with some of my points then which you even pointed out. However I will look it over and tell you what I think when I hit vacation in December hopefully. |
| Note: My english writing skills need work so donīt even think of asking me to change it entirely or relearn my english (the impossible). I donīt like the signature, I willl eventually add a picture. | |
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| Holocollector | Jan 17 2006, 10:09 AM Post #7 |
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Christmas is Coming
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Sorry finally got to it, here is my opinion. I thought it was a solid piece, good job.. The fighting scenes in my opinion dragged on too long as there are two fights, one after another on your first post. This is not my favorite genre, but still the humor you used in some parts entertained. The beginning started out a bit slow, and the story starts out a little slow in my opinion. However like I said the humor helps and added to what was going on. It is interesting that Jerick is this powerful figure, and that it will take a lot to put him down. I would have wanted to hear from other characters a bit more, something that distinguishes them, and not just Jerick. You know how to do action well. Something I get scared at just because I like having clever situations. You describe the action well though. In your story there is character development mainly Jerick but I would have wanted to see more happen, like the militarys next move and why Jerick isnt this immortal figure. That would develop the pace of the story as in my opinion this would add to your story. edit: Sorry makokam hostile, fixed it. Now all the contest entries are in line. |
| Note: My english writing skills need work so donīt even think of asking me to change it entirely or relearn my english (the impossible). I donīt like the signature, I willl eventually add a picture. | |
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