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Dangerous Doings of The RPG Spot; Issue #1
Topic Started: Aug 18 2006, 11:03 PM (185 Views)
-Mystic Gohan-
Black Mage
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
This is a e-zine submitted to me anonymously by a source who claims to have dug up dirt on the personal lives of members here at the RPG Spot. His information is allegedly 100% accurate, true, and even potentially shocking. I've decided not to edit any articles in order to preserve the writer's voice, typos and shocking content. That being said, I am therefore not responsible for any claims made by my anonymouse source, so here goes. "Dangerous Doings of The RPG Spot, Issue #1".

In this Issue:
-- Dark Habits of Makokam
-- The Feminine Side of DaveMCC
-- Bahamut's Fury's Folly

In the Upcoming Issue:
-- Xantar's Darkest Secret
-- Mysterious Multiple Personalities of Mystic Gohan
-- The TRUE Story of What Happened to FFFreak.com

Other Upcoming Articles:
-- RPG Fan's Secret Obsession
-- Dragon's Dazzling Doozie
-- Slappy's Secret Scandal
-- Shin-Ra's True Identity
-- What REALLY Happened to Jonny, Owner of FFFREAK
-- Zero and , Demons from the Past

-- Dark Habits of Makokam

The one known as the RPG Spot's co-administrator was caught fornicating with a large stuffed rabbit on Thursday, August 17th, 2006. Some surveillance footage suggested that the individual purchased this stuffed animal from a Walmart chain, brought it home, and began doing his "dirty deed". No one was available to comment at the residence, but a woman claiming to be his girlfriend stated that there was "nothing wrong" with what her alleged boyfriend did and that it was slightly erotic. "That's hot," she said as she sauntered away.

-- The Feminine Side of DaveMCC

The self-proclaimed manly "jackass" of the forum, DaveMCC enjoys masquerading as a woman while shopping at outlet malls in areas of Rochester, Nueva York.

A passer-by first noticed something odd as he was peering in Dave's window when Dave allegedly began pulling packages of lacy Victoria's Secret bras and brandless, generic pantyhose from a grocery bag. From his vantage point just outside Dave's window, the passer-by observed Dave as he put on the panty hose, left the room, and came back fully clothed in women's attire complete with makeup. He then left the room and was spotted leaving his residence at approximately 10:38 AM, where he began walking towards a 50% off sale at an unknown outlet retailer.

DaveMCC's representative downplayed this as merely a case of mistaken identity. Apparantly, Dave is of a similar physique as his mother, and although he placed a grocery bag filled with panty hose and lacy, racy bras in his room, it was his mother who later came in and who was observed going to a 50% off sale. While questioning the representative, I saw Dave crying inside his residence through a crack in the front door. Upon inquiry, the representative claims it was just the neighbors cat.

-- Bahamut's Fury's Folly

The real reason for the decline of Bahamut's Fury lies in his un-ninjalike approach to ninja-like activities. While once an active poster at The Spot, Bahamut's Fury, codename Marci, is actually recovering from a mishap related to his ninja activities and is therefore unable to post as often as he once did.

On the evening of August 8th, 2006, he ran into his ninja rival while jumping from tree to tree on his college campus and engaged in an epic battle, lasting approximately 5 minutes. Although he won by ripping the heart of his rival out, the blood that seeped from the bloodied opponent formed in puddles on the sidewalk, causing Bahamut's Fury to slip on the liquid and break his hip.

Currently he is persuing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the city of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, for gross negligence by lining their streets with sidewalks that become slippery when puddles of liquids form on them. It is unclear how long it will take for his injury to heal.


[ Edit: ]

About the Unnamed Author...

He is a freelance writer writing for such notable and respected publications such as the National Enquirer, US Weekly, and Star Magazine. He is unmarried, 34 years of age, and has a gut. He is desperately looking for attention and possibly a girl to actually acknowledge his existence.
The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause.
The mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
 
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