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Tomato's Adventures in Wii pre-ordering; VOLUME ONE: A NEW BEGINNING
Topic Started: Oct 13 2006, 10:54 PM (270 Views)
Trippy Skippin Tomato
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TOTALLY SEXY GAMER DEMON GOLFER
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Me and Crayon just had this conversation on AIM a few minutes ago. I just had to post it, because it's awesome and I need to inflate my ego just a little bit more today.

[01:54] squintygustav: THE ADVENTURES OF A BRAVE TOMATO AND HIS QUEST FOR A WII PREORDER: A NEW BEGINNING
[01:54] the mean crayon: HAHAHA
[01:54] squintygustav: It was cold that bleak October morning
[01:55] squintygustav: I headed out from my home in bumfuck USA, driving down the empty roads towards my destination, a store with a gleaming sign above it, containnig two glorious letters. E and B
[01:55] the mean crayon: HAHA
[01:56] squintygustav: When I reached my destination, I was startled to find a hoarde of orcs swarming the door! These horrible creatures were raiding the treasure troves of Wiis, and by the time I had hitched my steed to his post and entered the store, they were all gone
[01:56] squintygustav: My mind racing, I though, "to the next town! I must make haste!"
[01:57] squintygustav: I jumped to the back of my steed and took off, nearly choking him because I forgot to unhitch him
[01:57] the mean crayon: LOL
[01:57] squintygustav: So I unhitched him and was off again
[01:57] the mean crayon: HAHA
[01:57] squintygustav: I fought my way through a wild stampede of other riders, all riding hard and fast to various destination. I knew many of them were out for blood and for Wii, so I knew I could spare no time
[01:59] squintygustav: Taking secret back trails through lands unknown to most, I managed to reach the great general store "Mall". Inside, I knew there to lay two of the EB stores, for this was a gathering palce for those of videogame geek kind
[01:59] the mean crayon: XD
[02:00] squintygustav: But to my dismay, I found both their storehouses to be cleaned out, despite my best efforts, monsters had already been here and stolen everything. I had nearly lost hope
[02:00] squintygustav: "Those damned orcs! They shall pay with their blood! I will have my Wii!"
[02:01] the mean crayon: *Yells along in supportive anger*
[02:02] squintygustav: But forsooth! A sudden memory jarred me from my bloodlust! A secret tunnel lay a scant mile away, at the end a secret faerie village by the name of "GameCrazy" lay beneath the earth
[02:02] squintygustav: Off I raced, hoping aginst all hope that the evil mosters had not yet found this haven
[02:03] the mean crayon: *Shouting at the screen* Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
[02:03] squintygustav: I pressed my steed hard, and she was tired, but I knew this cause was for the greater good of all(and becauase I really fucking wanted a Wii), and so I flew on wings of silver, and arrived at my destination
[02:04] the mean crayon: Yes!
[02:04] squintygustav: Getting down on my hands and knees, I threw myself into the tunnel and scrabbled down it as fast as I could, my hands scraping against rocks and roots and soil, becoming ever bloodier as I burrowed deeper beneath the earth
[02:04] squintygustav: AT last, a light at the end of the narrow tunnel!
[02:05] the mean crayon: What was it? *Leans forward to see*
[02:05] squintygustav: With the last of my strength I pulled myself through, into the glorious land of the faeries
[02:05] squintygustav: And behold! A glorious wealth of Wiis there were
[02:05] squintygustav: !
[02:05] the mean crayon: YES!
[02:06] squintygustav: Rows of Wiis were piled up among the faeries, and as they saw my condition, they were glad to hand one of the platinum treasures into my bloodied hands
[02:07] squintygustav: As well, for a few coins I was able to purchase a new sword, by the name of "Red Steel" and a new set of magical reigns, which in their language was prounounced, "Retro Controller
[02:07] squintygustav: "
[02:07] squintygustav: They were an odd but giving folk, and I rested my weary bones among them
[02:08] the mean crayon: YAY!
[02:09] squintygustav: After I had healed my wounds, the faeries helped me back through the tunnel and back to my brave steed, so that I could return home to my family and PS2 and Gamecube, so that I may return on the day of November the 19th, whence I could find true happiness for all Nintendofans
[02:09] squintygustav: THE END
[02:09] squintygustav: *Wipes sweat from brow*
[02:09] the mean crayon: *Claps and whistles*
[02:09] squintygustav: Not to toot my own horn, but that was pretty Epic
[02:09] the mean crayon: Hell yes it was
....

So how did YOUR pre-order go over?
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Dragon
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Leowen
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
not bad, last time I got Lish that excited she creamed her pants and started power reading Gundam Yaoi. Poor Duo....
Posted Image
Ok, you caught me. I'm actually Xantar. I hacked Dragon's account because he's being an ass.

Dragon: You don't have the respect for me because you are entered the forum into a contest where it is impossible for one to survive unless they are the one survivor. You speak as if setting up a situation in which to make my fail by stating that I cannot live. Therefor my logic proves that over yours and you are making a direct threat on my physical life.
Xantar: I think you mean
Xantar: "You made me accidentally the whole fleshlight!"
Dragon: .....
Dragon: Sometimes I just love you.

---

Shadyshark
So I found out that this girl on a kids show I thought was cute was actually about 16 at the time of filming, so I feel better about it now.
Dragon of DTT
...
how does that make you feel better?
Shadyshark
because that's legal.
Dragon of DTT
you think a 16 year old is hot, thats creepy as fuck
Shadyshark
in some states at least.
Dragon of DTT
>.>
you're like, 8 years older than that
Shadyshark
never mind.
 
Trippy Skippin Tomato
Member Avatar
TOTALLY SEXY GAMER DEMON GOLFER
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Not a Wii related story, but still epic and videogame related, so I'm posting it. BECAUSE I CAN.

I was filling out Christmas cards and Lish made me make one for her. This is the setup to this glorious story.

[03:43] squintygustav: I am now filling out your card
[03:43] squintygustav: Query
[03:43] squintygustav: Is this a ruse to get my address y/n
[03:44] squintygustav: So that you can steal my PS2 and all my Suikoden games
[03:44] the mean crayon: YES
[03:44] squintygustav: Oh ok
[03:46] squintygustav: You are going to call the feds and come to my house and get me on counts of loving Genis too much
[03:46] squintygustav: It will be a sad day
[03:46] squintygustav: I get carried away
[03:46] the mean crayon: We will remember you fondly
[03:46] squintygustav: "I LOVE HIMMMMM"
[03:46] squintygustav: "OUR LOVE WAS PUUUUURRRREEEE"
[03:47] squintygustav: I will be charged with loving Genis too much, and for writing fics where children have sex with their dead sisters
[03:48] the mean crayon: I'll sneak genis pron into the jail for you
[03:49] squintygustav: But in a crazy turn of events only seen in a Naked Gun movie, I will get off with the help of several elephants, a pop-gun, a giant foam finger, and an episode of Law and Order
[03:49] the mean crayon: HAHAHAHA
[03:51] squintygustav: And then I will go home, and you will have stolen all of my games, leaving only a crayon with an angry face carved into it
[03:51] squintygustav: I will cry
[03:51] squintygustav: cry
[03:51] squintygustav: cry
[03:51] squintygustav: But this won't be enough for you
[03:51] the mean crayon: And with Matlock's help, you will track me down, using various McGuyver moves
[03:51] squintygustav: It starts a chain reaction, and soon you are stealin Xantar's games, and then Captain Goose's games
[03:52] squintygustav: Soon there is an epidemic of game-related thefts across the nation
[03:52] the mean crayon: hahahaha
[03:52] squintygustav: It's breaking news on every news station
[03:52] squintygustav: News of the "Angry Crayon burgler" will sweep the country
[03:52] squintygustav: Gamers everywhere in fear for their games
[03:53] squintygustav: huddle in their basements, clutching their game devices like so many children
[03:53] squintygustav: I will hear of this on the radio while rocking slowly back and forth in my room
[03:53] squintygustav: And it will steel my resolve
[03:53] squintygustav: "I MUST STOP HER"
[03:53] squintygustav: "I will catch the Angry Crayon burgler"
[03:53] the mean crayon: HAHAHAHA
[03:54] squintygustav: And I will set to work, furiously working with the police to solve the crime
[03:54] squintygustav: Via watching Law and Order many times over for clues
[03:54] squintygustav: Eventually it will come to me
[03:54] squintygustav: "The adress she gave me on AIM!"
[03:54] *** You have been disconnected. Mon Dec 18 03:54:38 2006.
[03:54] *** You are currently disconnected. Messages will not be received.
[03:54] squintygustav: FUCK
Session Close (the mean crayon): Mon Dec 18 03:56:43 2006


Session Start (squintygustav:the mean crayon): Mon Dec 18 03:57:33 2006
[03:57] squintygustav: Fuck this connection
[03:57] squintygustav: Anyway
[03:57] squintygustav: Eventually, it will come to me
[03:57] squintygustav: "The Address she gave me on AIM!"
[03:58] squintygustav: I will follow this clue vigilantly
[03:58] the mean crayon: hahahahahaha
[03:58] squintygustav: I will fly to California, and find your house
[03:58] squintygustav: You are sitting inside, with all your ill gotten gains
[03:58] squintygustav: You don't even play them anymore
[03:58] squintygustav: You steal because you MUST
[03:58] squintygustav: YOU HAVE TO
[03:58] the mean crayon: I love how it took you nights of Law and Order to remember I gave you my address hahahahaha
[03:59] squintygustav: I walk in
[03:59] squintygustav: (It's one of the laws of comedy)
[03:59] squintygustav: (It's funny when it takes long periods of time to find out something simple and obvious)
[03:59] the mean crayon: XD XD
[04:00] squintygustav: (Like those episodes of Family guy wher ethey take like a 3 minute interval with Peter doing various science experiements and shit to determine what 3+4 is)
[04:00] squintygustav: (ANYWAY)
[04:00] the mean crayon: LOL
[04:00] squintygustav: I walk into your house
[04:01] squintygustav: You are sitting in the middle of the PS3 and Wii covered floor
[04:01] squintygustav: Diving and swimming in a sea of game cases
[04:01] squintygustav: Laughing
[04:01] squintygustav: Laughing
[04:01] squintygustav: "THEY ARE ALL MINE"
[04:01] squintygustav: I call out to you, but you cannot hear
[04:01] squintygustav: You have fallen into the depths of game insanity
[04:02] the mean crayon: XD
[04:02] squintygustav: So I pull out my ultimate weapon
[04:02] squintygustav: I ready it, aim, and fire
[04:02] squintygustav: The dart flies through the ari, and lands directly in front of you
[04:02] squintygustav: Attatched to it, a sketch of naked Kratos
[04:02] squintygustav: You pause
[04:03] squintygustav: The room goes silent
[04:03] the mean crayon: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[04:03] squintygustav: "I...I....what have I been doing?"
[04:03] squintygustav: "I have forgotten the true meaning of playing games"
[04:03] the mean crayon: NEKKID BOYS!
[04:03] squintygustav: "The thrill of ownership, the thrill of HAVING"
[04:04] squintygustav: "I thought that was what it meant to play games"
[04:04] the mean crayon: *Writes fanfiction feverishly*
[04:04] squintygustav: "But I see now"
[04:04] squintygustav: "It's really about the man ass"
[04:04] squintygustav: "Yes, Lish. That is what it's all about"
[04:04] squintygustav: The end
[04:04] the mean crayon: LOL
[04:04] the mean crayon: I get off with an apology and my realization
[04:04] squintygustav: That was kinda fun
[04:04] the mean crayon: LoL
[04:04] squintygustav: As always
[04:05] squintygustav: That's how the system works
[04:05] squintygustav: You don't even have to give back the games
[04:05] squintygustav: (I take mine back, of course)
[04:05] squintygustav: Because the law doesn't care about gamers
[04:05] squintygustav: They wanted to find you only because you were evading them
[04:05] squintygustav: IT was a point of pride that they could find you
[04:05] squintygustav: Which they couldn't
[04:06] the mean crayon: LOL
[04:06] squintygustav: It took a nearly convicted Genis porn activist to do that
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Dawnreaver
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PewpewpewAdmin
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
[04:00] squintygustav: (Like those episodes of Family guy wher ethey take like a 3 minute interval with Peter doing various science experiements and shit to determine what 3+4 is)


Just so you're aware, every conversation I have with her is like that.

i've done the tests and run some numbers around the block and determined that if you and I were to ever converse in such a manner, a volcano would erupt on the moon, kill us all with space ash.
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Dawnreaver
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PewpewpewAdmin
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
And I give you a sample of my and my 14 year old brother on IM.

Mostly me since he's a slow typer and very hesistant to engage in crude banter. He mostly laughs but doens't retort.

[16:24] MarceBlackGuard: FAG
[16:24] Razorbladesfury: no
[16:24] MarceBlackGuard: Enourmous fag
[16:25] Razorbladesfury: hell no
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: loves the fock
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: to fock the cock
[16:25] Razorbladesfury: :(
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: who am i!?
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: do you know!
[16:25] Razorbladesfury: bob
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: no wai
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: ur so smrt
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: how did u no?
[16:25] Razorbladesfury: yes why ty
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: can u reeds my mindS?
[16:25] MarceBlackGuard: get out of my heads
[16:25] Razorbladesfury: smart
[16:26] Razorbladesfury: heads?
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT! THE ALIENS ARE PROBING MY BRAINSES
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: GET YOU THEY:LL GETS U 2
[16:26] Razorbladesfury: so
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: ARGH! My eyes are on fire
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: I shot lazors now!
[16:26] Razorbladesfury: sweet
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: less QQ more pewpew
[16:26] Razorbladesfury: ???
[16:26] MarceBlackGuard: less QQ more MOOMOO
[16:26] Razorbladesfury: meow
[16:27] MarceBlackGuard: less QQ more BBQ
[16:27] MarceBlackGuard: ZOME KITTENS MEWMEWMEW
[16:27] MarceBlackGuard: ZOMG LAZORS PEWPEWPEW
[16:27] Razorbladesfury: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[16:27] MarceBlackGuard: ZOMG STATS SKEWSKEWSKEW
[16:27] MarceBlackGuard: All right, I'm gonna go get redy for work. later dude
[16:27] Razorbladesfury: k
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