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Letters from the Capitalis de Societate
Topic Started: Sep 19 2011, 08:54 PM (7,099 Views)
Earth
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Mahaj
Feb 5 2012, 09:15 PM
Earth22
Feb 5 2012, 07:08 PM
"Oh and Movie Night: Saturday, June 4th 20:00 EST. No idea what we’re watching, but I’ll figure it out. Come join us on the night; we’ll be opening up our military channel (#udl on Espernet) to the public as usual."

Wait, wait, wait. We're planning movie nights this far in advanced!?!
He doesn't know what we're watching because it hasn't come out yet.
I wasn't pointing out the fact that it wasn't known, but rather the fact that it says that the next movie night will be in June.

Earth snickers at the new UD. Heehee.
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Unibot
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

So, this is our first *real* update in a bit (since we jumped the shark last update), sorry about that, we just got internally busy doing some things. The first thing that happened was something in real life, in fact, Earth (also known as Lyanna Stark), former Chief of Recruitment and current Osiris Pharaoh met me, Unibot, Chief of the Band. We had a nice get-together in Florida and had a fun time attempting to share an IRC account (as UniE!).

Quote:
 
<+Blaat> i'm prolife, we should not abort missions!
@Unibot bounces (Earth)
<+Jamie> heh
<@Unibot> ...that came out wrong. O.o
<+Blaat> wait
<+Blaat> if it comes out wrong, put it back in again
<+Blaat> sorry
<+Jamie> O.o
<@Unibot> *Earth whaps Blaat*
+Blaat rubs his cheek, that hurt :)
@Unibot high-fives Blaat
<+Blaat> heh
@Unibot whaps Uni IRL
<+Blaat> masochism?
<+StGeorge> lul
+Solm has weird mental images of Earth and Uni together
<@Unibot> ...I can't win. -Earth.


That marks the first and only time that I will say “hmphies” on IRC. Earth got the full Unibotian experience, including: (1) writing an appeal to the moderators to unban me, (2) tickling me, a lot, I shall add, (3) meeting my incredibly nice parents (apparently they’re nice), (4) watching my expression of “pure horror” when I heard gossip at the dinner-table for the first time (foreign to my natural Canadian inclinations), (5) hearing how to pronounce “sorry” the Canadian (right) way.

Posted Image
Earth and Uni react to Catholic being raided.


Nonetheless, while I was away having fun in the Sunshine state, things apparently still revolved in NationStates. But like if the Sun had been removed from the galaxy, planets fell out of alignment and crashed into one another. Okay, so, not as dramatic as that, in fact, things ran fairly smoothly amidst my absence. Catholic however was raided by the DENTHEBLACKEUROSHAW monster; there arose several concerns for the natives’ rights and the treatment of the natives – first pressured for their religious beliefs on their Regional Message Board, and then denied their right to return with a password imposed on the region. UDL Lieutenant, Mahaj acted swiftly and drafted a liberation proposal in the World Assembly Security Council, which was recently passed, although antiquated by the raiders’ predictable removal of the password. The liberation prevents a password being imposed again by the raider delegate. Likewise, in the theme of religion, The Black Hawks are currently holding Atheist Empire, which we’ve had one attempt to liberate – we’ll be attempting another during this week.

We recently held a very productive Chiefs of Staff meeting where we decided many new things and I’ve since worked on them. (1) We have a new rank called “Senior Merryman” for those of our merrymen that demonstrate considerable expertise, (2) We will be establishing monthly awards either this month or next month which will cover a range of defender-y things and reward dedication and demonstrations of admirable conduct – our lieutenants will happily hand them out, (3) We’ve decided that having one person as the “Chief of Recruitment” hasn’t been working so great – so we’ve motioned for the creation of the Grand Recruitment Council which will feature some surprising faces (if all goes as planned) and we’ve got some big ideas planned to expand the Greenwood Band to far reaches of the forest. Lastly, congratulations to Earth on her new position as our Chief of Orientation; we’re starting up a new training program on IRC which has been so far a wild success – I’ve heard good things from new merrymen about Earth and her assistants’ classroom.

We’ve had many new members join as of late, former ADN high command, Biyah and former ADN member, Agamemnon (no, Microsoft Word’s Autocorrect, I do *not* mean AND, I mean ADN.. ugh..) from their awesome home region of Osiris. We’ve also welcomed WA Author, Libraria and Ausitoria, Welsh Cowboy, Cookie Monsters from Canada, Paper Flowers, Barronstan, Unified Provinces, Groundisred, Morphix from Dharma, New Sapienta, Nigel Farage from United Kingdom. As well as our newest Evil Condemned™ Slave-Trader, Greater Tezdrian, Jahka from Europeia and Tzeentch from the Ascendancy. In addition to our new members from NS-Sports: Ipeland, The Kangaroo Republic and Yesopalitha.

Lastly, in the Defender Awards 2012, UDL members have been racking up lots of nominations. Some of the more interesting nominations: (1) Defender of the Year features Eluvatar and myself in competition (MUHAHAHA), (2) The UDL has been nominated for Defender Group of the Year and Newcomer of the Year, (3) I think this marks the first time that a two-time winner of the NS World Cup has also been nominated for Newcomer of the Year (Zwangzug!), (4) Ballotonia, Goobergunchia, Harmoneia and Spartzerium (in order of seniority AND also alphabetical.. boo yea!) have all be nominated for a Lifetime Achievement Award, (5) I am the first time someone has been nominated for “Meltdown of the Year” and Defender of the Year, (6) Christopher Plummer has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Much to my shagrin, we’re all facing steep competition from TITO, FRA, UK and RRO defenders in various categories – nonetheless, the coveted award ceremonies kicks off voting in the next week or two.

Oh and Movie Night is next Saturday at 10 PM EST. I have no idea what we’re watching, but it’ll be fun. All are invited.

And pardon my indulgence, but here is your Moment of Zen:

Quote:
 
<+New_Emperica> OMG ITS UNIBOT!
<@Unibot> ^_^
* +New_Emperica freaks out like a little fanboy.
<@Unibot> Hi!
<+New_Emperica> Hi.
<@Earth> d'aw. :P
<@Unibot> This is your first liberation, correct?
<+New_Emperica> Da.
<@Unibot> You're going to do fine.
<+New_Emperica> If push comes to shove, I have a lead pipe, some gasoline, and a pissed off cat that can be dumped on a guy's head at any time.
<+New_Emperica> I like meeting Unibot.
<@Mahaj> <New_Emperica> I like meeting Unibot. <--Uni's gonna post that quote everywhere i swear to god
<+New_Emperica> Yes, he will.
<+New_Emperica> And I'll get to be quoted by Uni.
@Earth hides behind Uni.
+New_Emperica fantasizes.


May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot
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Earth
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Earth cheers. :)
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Agamemnon
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Earth has that "Oh well" look going on.
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LadyRebels
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that is a cool picture..Unibot's expression screams out "what happened?"
Earth's expression quitely says "Ah well bound to happen"
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Posted ImagePosted Image

A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

The 2012 Defender Awards, that we told you about last time, just announced its winners. The United Defenders League is very honoured to pick up the Defender Group of the Year Award and The Newcomer of the Year Award (which we shared with our merryman, Ravania). Also, congratulations to our Chief of Intelligence, Eluvatar for winning the Dipes Award for his contributions to the field of intelligence. We as a group would like to thank all the voters, native communities across NationStates, our mothers, alarm clocks, Max Barry, caffeine, Max Berry, the F5 key and The Founderless Regions Alliance for hosting the Awards ceremony. *music plays* Hey wait, I’m not done with the update! How rude, hmphf.

As for internally, The United Defenders League has been busy getting the Great Recruitment Council off the ground. The guys and I have been putting our heads together to find new and exciting ways to improve recruitment; I don’t think any of them are legal *sniggers* but hypothetically they’d be pretty neat. Well, to start things off, you can now find our telegram advertisements sandwiched in between a couple of raider group telegrams when you create a new nation and view its telegram box – but it’s a start! Thank you to Solm, one of our beloved merryman, for putting together the auto-recruiter script; we’ve generally strayed away from recruiting fresh newbies but we’ve decided it’s time to end that! To improve our effectiveness we’ve got some wacky ideas that might blow some minds when they’re released, but to start off with, we’ve compensated for the lack of annoyingness (because we’ve used less bold tags) by adding animated arrows that non-subtly point you to the message that will change your life!!

In addition to recruitment, The United Defenders League now includes a legal department. Our newly established Judge Advocate General's Corps, currently managed by Agamemnon, will provide legal counsel for our defenders and staff or others in cases we deem as falling under the umbrella of “cases that the UDL is interested in”. Defenders, like police officers in real life, tend to go to court a lot, so I think this service could be of mighty use. The legal department will also be consulted in interpretations of regional law when stuff happens that requires legal consultation. For example:

Quote:
 
<Unibot> DURK IS PURGING THE NORTH PACIFIC… AGAIN!!!
<Mahaj> Oh noz.
<St. George> Is that illegal in The North Pacific?
<Unibot>… *glances at the legal code… the constitution… the bill of rights…* Um… this could take a bit to figure out; they’ve codified their region flag!?!?!
<Agamemnon> It’s illegal under c.8 of their Bill of Rights and c.11… but c.11 applies to everything.
<Unibot> Ah thank violet!


That was a simulated conversation by the way; St. George doesn’t actually care about breaking rules (kidding!).

In our military operations, we’ve had a great week or two. We defeated the Black Riders and co. in Liberal Haven, which meant we had to endow our soldiers with some pretty badges:

Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

St. George, Carta, Zwangzug and our new-ish member, Nullarni get hugs and chocolate cake for being the only four to attend both attempts to liberate A Liberal Haven (the second attempt was successful, the first was close… but lacking in cigars). We also had some great defenses against The Black Hawks and the Black Riders, like in the United Lands of Catalystia, Kingdom of Ireland, District 10, Western Europe, Frozen wastes of Ralarii, The Youngworld, Together In Isolation and The Great Green Federation. There was also a sneaky raid in Deutschland which we caught and stopped before it could progress.

I recently re-created the German team from the infamous Monty Python skit, Philosopher’s Football Match, which can be found in the 1972 Munich Olympics. Which means you may occasionally see some philosophers kicking raider butt around NationStates from now on. Highlights thus far include Team Captain, Georg “Nobby” Hegel demonstrating his ‘Master-Slave dialectic’ against The Black Riders in the defense of “The Great Green Federation” and Franz Beckenbauer defending “Together In Isolation” from TBH and DEN:

Quote:
 
@Goobergunch> Seconds ago: The Republic of Franz Beckenbauer became regional WA Delegate.
<+Saugeais> GOAL BECKENBAUER!
<+Saugeais> Beck!@
<IG> Very nice
<+Fisch> YAYAYAYAY!
<Wibblefeet> congrats
<@Goobergunch> defense successful


Speaking of sports, The United Defenders League is pleased to sponsor the Tournament of the Golden Arrow, a roleplayed archery event in NS-Sports which is being organized by Zwangzug and I. It’s our way of giving back to the community that’s been *so* helpful and contributive to the defender cause. You know, when I was first starting up the UDL, people were particularly critical of my choice to include roleplayers into our staff, but it always seemed like the natural thing to do: they were always online and many of them were very nice. I’m really glad I kept with it – nowadays our roleplayers are some of the most distinguished and experienced members and the UDL enjoys a multicultural element that I don’t think exists in many other organizations in NationStates. I will circulate the dates and links for the Tournament when they’re up shortly; nonetheless, the Tournament is open to all!

In other news, as was explained earlier, at the end of the month will we be handing out awards to our merrymen and merrywoman. These awards are our organization’s monthly awards in the same manner as other defender organizations do. Details on the awards can be found here. Also, if you’re interested, Nullarni has written an interesting essay on our oath and has brought up some very interesting observations.

Our Movie-Night will take place on...the one... the only… APRIL FOOLS DAY: NationStates’s consistently funniest day of the year. No word on if any shenanigans will be played on people.

Your Moment of Zen is in two parts,

First, on a particularly boring night, Goober spotted something!

Quote:
 
<@Goobergunch> Seconds ago: The Guiding Light of Francos Spain replaced the Supreme Bunnyness of Krulltopia as regional delegate.
<@Mahaj> WUT


And then from a discussion on Francos Spain, the conversation quickly deteriorated,

Quote:
 
<+Astro> Like replacing every seventh word with "penis"?
<+Wied> The seventh word in that sentence is penis...
<+Astro> Oh, I didn't even notice. rofl.
<@Eluvatar> lol
<@Mahaj> lol
<@Goobergunch> I prefer replacing every word over five letters with "penis"
<@Mahaj> why, so only raiders will be saying things other than 'penis' ?
<@Goobergunch> It forces people to compose statements with brevity
<+Astro> You just wrote "It penis penis to penis penis with penis."
<+Astro> We are so puerile. I mean penis.


May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the Alliance Defense Network and the former United Defenders League,

So I got talking with Pope Hope, former Director of the Alliance Defense Network about how to improve The United Defenders League and it came to my attention that the best way to get all of the talented, older players out of the woodwork and have them sign up with my defender organization would be to adopt the name, constitution and logo of the Alliance Defense Network and offer them all their old positions and titles.

It is thus my honor to present to you:

THE ALLIANCE DEFENSE NETWORK REBORN!!

With Strength and Honor, The Alliance Defense Network Reborn operates by protecting its member-regions and ensuring that native rights are upheld across NationStates. We're still in the process of switching over ranks and re-naming categories, so please be patient, by in due time, The Alliance Defense Network Reborn will be fully operational once we get rid of all these bows and arrows and green tights *shudders*.

If you wish to join the initiative, here are some important applications:

APPLICATIONS FOR MEMBERS || APPLICATIONS FOR MEMBER-REGIONS || APPLICATIONS FOR DIPLOMATS

After offering titles and prestige to her for several hours and promising she could declare martial law whenever her heart desired, Pope Hope is our new Director – fresh out of retirement. Congratulations, Pope Hope!

Likewise, after much consultation and torture sessions which may or may not have involved copious amounts of muffins Posted Image, Ananke is our new Secretary of State. Congratulations, Ananke!

If you’d like to greet Pope Hope or Ananke back into the ADN world, they both should be on the ADN Reborn’s IRC channel (#ADN on Espernet) around 1 PM EDT today. The channel is 100% public notwithstanding idiotic/spammer conduct. Click here to join the channel.

For those that can’t be there to greet them in public I sat down with these two NS superstars earlier this week to interview them.

Interview
 
Unibot: What are your plans for the Alliance Defense Network Reborn (“ADN Reborn”)? More specifically, what does the ADN Reborn need to improve on from the ADN days?

Pope Hope: Old invader friends and acquaintances (and invaders I’ve only met recently) have told me that raider unity is currently at an all-time high. That this is even a term now is a big change from the days of yore. They say that due to the absence of the ADN, technical changes in the game, and the evolution of the political atmosphere of gameplay in general, they now take regions on a nightly basis. Invaders attempted to copy the ADN and unite in my day but never got far off the ground. This presents a challenge I just can’t resist.

ADN Reborn will emerge as a more condensed form of its previous incarnation, more to-the-point and less apologetic. The spirit of defending has changed as have technical aspects of gameplay, but when it comes right down to the battle of principles, the essentials are still the same. It’s time to bring a bit of old school defending back to NS, and introduce the newer generations of invaders to the iron fist of justice…and possibly the Care Bear Opposition Ambassador mask, that was pretty awesome.

Ananke: Well, we only had half the feeder/sinkers as members of ADN in its heyday, so we clearly need to get the rest of them involved. The Pacific already applied to ADN once, so I’m sure we won’t have any trouble getting them to do so again. Besides us old-timers have to stick together. So my first order of business as Secretary of State will be to hunt down the old foggies around NationStates and pressgang them into joining up. ;)

Unibot: Ananke, You've recently become the delegate of 10000 Islands, congratulations. Do you think your membership in 10000 Islands will conflict with your ADN Reborn membership? And do you think the relationship between 10000 Islands and the ADN Reborn will be erm, cozier than with the Original ADN because of your delegateship? *Wink, wink* *Nudge, Nudge*.

Ananke: TITO and ADN have always been great allies, so I don’t think my delegacy will change much. One thing that being delegate of 10ki has taught me though, is the power of muffins. It’s amazing the things you can accomplish by bribing people with their favourite flavour of muffin. By transferring this method to ADN I hope to quickly subdue any critics we might have.

Unibot: Pope Hope, What do you miss most about defending or NationStates in general, and what do you miss least?

Pope Hope: Most? The community. I met some amazing people through this game and I miss interacting with them on a regular basis. I miss Nasicournia at her most active, when every aspect of the region was thriving and there were so many involved residents: those who participated in regional government/politics, others who stuck mostly RL chat, our wonderful community of RPers, of course NasiCorps/defenders, and those who did a little bit of everything. In the early days, it was rewarding interacting with established leaders from RP regions like The Heartland and Wysteria, and learning the ropes from defender regions like Alcatraz and The Moonlit Islands. RPing with Nasi’s first allies from A New Begining and Cannabis Island. Hanging out with the ever-inspiring residents and loyal allies of the still-thriving region of Texas. I miss the wonderful defender groups I was a part of, and “Defender Unity” in general.

The ADN was such a collection of characters—hundreds of people united in defending but otherwise so diverse in regional background, culture, and personality. Even during the time we had members with conflicting ideologies, there was never a dull moment. The GLA, the best of the best who truly accomplished some amazing feats without claiming recognition. Exploring the cultures of other regions. Bantering with my favorite invaders. The Meritocracy when it was a bastion of debate and diplomacy. The North Pacific, my adopted feeder home which was also home to a lot of caring people, invigorating OOC forums, and an appreciation for democracy. Having a war of words with in-game “opponents” who also became OOC friends. Espionage. Late nights up plotting with my favorite defender “partners in crime” about deep cover special ops and military missions. Waiting for update on nights that the most exciting battles took place and/or as months of planning came to fruition. IRC chats with NS Generalites and Mods. Hmm, a lot to look forward to re-visiting. :)

Least? It was a different time then, and NationStates a unique community. While the politicking/propagandizing that went on (to this day people still ask me about events that never happened and to clarify rumors, some of which are pretty amazing) was sometimes frustrating/tiresome at the time, after leaving NS and traveling around the interwebz I figured out that there was a kind of respect here that might not necessarily be found elsewhere. Oh, and sleep deprivation—I don’t miss that too much. ;)

Unibot: Ananke, I must ask a much more serious question now, um... how do you pronounce your name? Is it, Anna-kay? Or A-nan-ke or what? This may or may not have been the topic of a serious debate over in the now defunct UDL chamber. *ninja-face*

Ananke: A-nan-ke is how I pronounce it.

Unibot: Pope Hope, You had a legendary career as a defender, a politician, the head busybody of one of NationStates’ most well-known organizations (soon to be reborn). To the new generation of players, do you have any advice for them on how to succeed as you did?

Pope Hope: In any endeavor you embark upon, at first you might have to start out playing multiple roles yourself. In region building, you’ll be the regional leader, recruiter, military advisor, RP organizer, what have you. Stay very active, and recruit for quality rather than quantity. Do it right and you’ll soon find other like-minded people to take the lead from you and improve upon the foundation that you’ve built.

Find out what you’re the most interested in/have the most fun doing and specialize in that skill—the more time you spend doing something you love the more successful you’ll be. Don’t shy from having mentors—there are other people out there who have done amazing things, can introduce you to new concepts/groups/techniques, and generally teach you cool stuff. When you start to succeed, stay humble and realize that it takes a cohesive team to really succeed/meet goals—it shouldn’t be all about one person or even a select few.

Don’t insult your opponents unless they’ve been genuinely nasty to you—and you’ll probably find that they’re not so bad off the battlefield, and maybe worth getting to know. Be cautious with who you trust, but once you learn who those people are, stay loyal to them and they’ll give the same in return. Take a step back if you start taking things too seriously, unplug if necessary, or even change direction. Start over—reload, if you will. ;) Most of all, have fun with everything you do.


And with that concludes our update for today!

Your Moment of Zen from October 27 2011,
Quote:
 
<+SL> if the ADN turned into the FRA, and then FRA turned into the UDL, the UDL will turn into a new ADN then, right?
<+SL> whats the new ADN gonna look like?
<@Unibot> Badass.


With Strength and Honour,
Unibot
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

Wow, lot’s to talk about! So at the beginning of the week we had our April Fools Day… or shall I say, I misguidedly thought that reinventing the Alliance Defense Network would be a good idea. Pope Hope was doing her best to sell the idea but by the evening that night, just a wave of pure *nostalgia* washed over me for my quiver full of arrows, hearty laughs and green tights. By gawd did I miss our forum and my band of merrymen and merrywomen, but it was fun being ADN for a day. For those of you who missed the April Fools joke, you can visit our now public archives and you’ll see the whole event is archived including the cold, blue steel and glass skin that represented the ADN Reborn oh so perfectly.

Some highlights included: (1) Pope Hope’s first and hopefully not her last post on our forum where she officially declared martial law dissolved the Alliance Defense Network Reborn, (2) The North Pacific joining the ADN Reborn and simultaneously declaring war on us as a part of the Empire, (3) Biyah being masked as an “Undesirable” for his part in the Empire’s takeover of Osiris, The North Pacific and The Rejected Realms -- some of the jabs back and forth between Biyah and I may have been a little *too* fun, (4) JAL (aka Durk) having respect on our boards for one whole day as our media advisor instead of his usual, “Village Idiot” masking (although I still think the Village Idiot has a vital role to play in the modern rural society).

Several UDL members, although not in the UDL capacity were enjoying the NationStates’ wide April Fools day event. Earth (as “Lyanna Stark”), our Chief of Orientation and Eluvatar, our Chief of Intelligence were having a fun time planning the revolution against Max Barry. Eventually of course, the NationStates community won over the heart of Max Barry before April Fools day ended. Although one player believed that the IPO scam was just a Unibotian plot all along to teach peace and socialism to the masses via demonstration:

Quote:
 
<+Riemstagrad> it's all just one big conspiracy of Unibot!
<@Ballotonia> Yes, yes it is! (what is?)
<+Riemstagrad> i mean... look at the IPO pie-chart!
<+Riemstagrad> it is Unibot's flag


And it continues…

Anyways the only scheme going on was the cultivation of good feelings in regards to the power of the NationStates Community to collectively overcome individual selfishness that was detrimental for the whole (sound familiar) and with that mischievous cultivation came some new members for The United Defenders League like Almaniania, Laysley, Wyominger, Lumierea, Wrightstates and Phillippanoa! Muahahahahaha.

Outside of the IPO, we’ve had some other great members join the League this month like Lackadaisical2 and Nationstatelandsville from NationStates General; Demphor, Mewsland, Goldsaver, Danatha, Winland, Hjornis ; Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia and The Black Plains straight from the warmongering of International Incidents; Thatius and Audioslavia from NS-Sports; Astrolinium and Sovreignry from the WA Community; John Pressman from the United Kingdom, Cassitopia from the South Pacific, Aleksotopia from the North Pacific, Fireeliand from Canada, Lords Flail from the West Pacific. Whoo… that was a mouthful, welcome to the UDL, guys! At least the Grand Recruitment Council has been a smashing success – oh and congratulations to Parhe who finally remembered to post his pledge to complete his application to the UDL… only a few months later. :P

In addition to those new members, Gauntleted Fist, a long-time Generalite and member of Lazarus has joined our band of merrymen this month and we’ve bestowed him the title of “Vice Chief of Feeder Affairs”. Our Chieftaincy of Feeder Affairs is tasked with the duty of helping to provide a voice to our institution for the feeders and sinkers on issues specific to Game-Created Regions and we thought, who better to do that than a long-time resident of a sinker, eh? But of course, Gauntleted Fist is fairly new to these gameplay politics so we’ve appointed probably one of the most experienced people on the matter that I could get to helm the Chieftaincy and replace the always sharp, Neo Kervoskia – congratulations to Goobergunchia on his appointment as our Chief of Feeder Affairs! Good luck to both of you! Feel free to say hello to the new Chieftaincy at their public office.

These appointments of course come on the heels with the apology in the South Pacific for my unethical conduct; by lobbying a treaty in the South Pacific to people that happened also to be my soldiers, I broke a serious ethical relationship between professionals. We’ve proposed some policies to hopefully prevent this behavior in the future and draw some clear ethical lines to follow, although our initial draft has been vetoed from complaints from other feeder governments, since it became apparent it would have caused problems elsewhere. We’ll keep you updated on the newest drafts in the future.

This past month we’ve been cleaning up on defences; with some help from TITO, we were able to defend Former United States in a crushing 10-3 victory, defended The YoungWorld for the second time this month and had a *shut-out* on the last major update of March. Raiders were unable to capture anything that night, overwhelmed by defenders in various regions. Good job team!

Let’s see, what’s next, oh yeah, so we’re at war with LKE now. Here’s the UDL statement in response. Um... yeah… right, moving on, nothing more really to say here…

Anyways. We’ve just recently handed out the *new* Monthly Awards for our merrymen – the recipients were decided by the lieutenants. Ravania picked up “Detagger of the Month”, North Wiedna ran away with “Conservationalist of the Month”, Danny causally strolled from the proceedings with a “Spotter of the Month” award in his hands, Zwangzug strutted her stuff to pick up the “Liberator of the Month” and Fischstan stole the show with the “Most Defences of the Month” award. Carta was also awarded the Chief’s Award for overcoming great tribulations to be all that he can be and for his dutiful address to the diplomatic incident in the South Pacific that carefully balanced his role as Chief Lieutenant and his citizenship in said region. Each recipient was awarded an aquamarine gemstone in honour of the month of March:

Posted Image
Hhhhmmm purdy.


Okay and last but not least. Movie Night is this Saturday, April 7. 21:00 EST. The movie is “The Life of Brian”, our apologies in advance in areas of Wales included the townships of Biggletoftwick, Knobbiewardinewhimper and Nantstrathchurch, Oxfordshire where the film is still unfortunately prohibted – but for everyone else, Movie Night is open for all!! Raider, Defender, Generalite, Roleplayer, NSer, Non-NSer, Pope Hope, Not Pope Hope, NS-Sporter … whatever, come on out.

Quote:
 
<@Mahaj> unibot rarely puts the best quote into the update
<+Blaat> because the best ones happen when he's not there


Ahhh… sooo much pressure….

Here is your Moment of Zen:
Quote:
 
<@UNIBOSS> Lacky, I hope we've made a good first impression. :D
<@UNIBOSS> We'll train you sometime later unless you want to be trained now.
<+Parhe> trained?
<+Lacky> You're all silly.
<+Parhe> We must be trained?
<+Libby> What's wrong?
<@UNIBOSS> Yep Parhe. :(
* @Goobergunch puts a silly hat on Lacky's head
<+Parhe> I can sit and fetch already
<@Mahaj> we must all be toilet trained
* +Blaat pees in the channel.


May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

The United Defenders League liberated ITALIA from The Black Hawks last week in what has to be one of the smoothest liberations in a long time. It all started at about 2 AM on Thursday when I decided that we would try to liberate ITALIA in twenty-three hours, as opposed to doing it on Saturday – which was a move I didn’t think the Black Hawks would anticipate because Friday night is generally a night chockfull of raids and defences. So I pulled an all-nighter and started telegramming and recruiting members for “Operation Little Stalingrad” and fortunately, we had a really good turnout; something along the lines of thirty merrymen showed up to help out ITALIA and eat some Hawk. We pretended not to have very many members online to defend, so I defended (and defended Federalist Europe Alliance from a raid by myself! MUHAHAA) and the staff prepared everyone for the liberation. By the time, the liberation came around; the Black Hawks lead hadn’t bothered to watch update and we liberated ITALIA, 41-31. All the soldiers that took part in the liberation have been awarded this pretty military ribbon:

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Other than that, it’s been quite slow for defending as of late, because raiders have been piling again, but we had a close, close loss to the Black Riders in Pacific (13-12) recently and a successful liberation in Western Africa earlier last week. We also just had a successful liberation in Hong Kong against a bunch of stooges calling themselves the "Royal Canadian Air Force" and endeavoring to “refound” founderless regions against their consent to bring security to them – they just leave the part out about them being the eternal and all-powerful founders of the region forever and ever after and other important details. It was a personal pleasure of mine as a real-life Canadian to liberate the region.

A lot of this past week has been full of drama.

First, our Judge Advocate General's Corps saw its first bit of action; Agamemnon, Judge Advocate with the United Defenders League has been sent to Democrats to represent South Boston Irishmen in court against several charges which are partially related to South Boston Irishmen’s work with The United Defenders League. I like to make sure that our members have access to justice when they’re being accused of things related to defending, so I’m glad we’re helping to defend South Boston Irishmen in his time of need for legal aid.

The second stint of drama came this past week when there was some heated dialogue exchanged between the Arch-Chancellor of the Founderless Regions Alliance and I in regards to the politicization of our organization. As I said in a public statement available here, I would quite like to move on and endeavor for better relations between defender organizations and more solidarity between what are essentially team-mates in the fight for justice. I guess as easy as it is for us to find common ground, the stress of our positions and duties pushes us towards in-fighting, not to mention that the defender organizations that stand today are the result of years of conflict between defenders and the social delineation of various groups. To do our part for the cause of defender solidarity, we’ve restored TITO’s viewing privileges on our private military forum and wish them the best.

To recap some administrative news: we’re very pleased to have established an embassy with ITALIA following their liberation; now even our Italian friends can receive our “Lettere dal Capobanda”! On a similar note, I’ve also taken the time to update our Embassy Row to include shiny regional flags for all our embassies – it looks purdy, you might enjoy that. If there’s a flag or emblem that needs correcting, please tell me and I’ll get on it.

Also,

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The Tournament of the Golden Arrow; a roleplayed archery event that I told you about earlier will be kicking off at the end of this week. If you want to attend you need to sign up here before Sunday, April 22. There’s also a quiz that goes along with the tournament which influences your scores in the event – the more you know about NS-Sports, NS Gameplay and The United Defenders League, the better you’ll do in the tournament!

Finally, a shout out to Stargate for securing their region; I hear they’re working on a constitution and elections now, which is awesome – a great example for all founderless regions; doing their best to develop their region even after years of being raided.

Your Moment of Zen, brought to you by Carta’s telegram box:

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<@Carta> The Anglophile of Earth22 (1 year 43 days ago) Hey! My name is Earth, and I'm from Europeia, one of the largest, most active and most prestigious regions in NationStates. I'd like to personally invite you to join our region.
<@Carta> <_<
<@Carta> old puppets lolz
<@Mahaj> yeah
<@Carta> LOL
<@Carta> bold skywalker (1 year 73 days ago) sorry- raiding mission want to join up?
<@Carta> i forgot that i tried out raiding once
<@Carta> before i became a rper
<@Mahaj> lol

Oh my! How things change in a year!

Question for the embassy: do you have any funny telegrams you’d like to share? :P

May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot
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A Letter from the Capitalis de Societate of the United Defenders League,

Well it has been a helluva week!

In this past week or so, The United Defenders League has been busy liberating regions like Baghdad and The Blood Cave against the Aphroditean Empire and the Black Hawks and DEN. In addition to liberating Zen this morning from the Europeian Navy and last major, Confederation of Democratic Socialists from god knows who. Kudos to The Founderless Regions Alliance Rangers for helping out on some of those liberations. Normally, I wouldn’t present ribbons for a comparably smaller liberation, but the artistic opportunity of a ribbon for Zen was irresistible – so all twenty-something merrymen received this ribbon this afternoon for a job well done:

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Don’t wave this puppy around boys; the bad guys might think you’re surrendering.


Anyways, yeah, it has been a decent week to dust off the military chops. A lot of detagging (restoring previously raided regions) though, since it’s been a rather laborious week to clean up the mess left from several nights of tag-raids. Nonetheless, the merrymen are keeping up the good fight and restoring what was left in ruin along the aimless path of regional devastation. Some of our newest members that have joined to carry that good fight include our first MERRYCAT, the Asylum Manager, Fluffy Pink Kittens (see a trend here), Reselia, Crontor from International Incidents and Coolboygcp!

On the subject of new members, [violet], site admin of NationStates recently announced a moratorium would soon be implemented on all so-called “auto-recruiting scripts”. Now of course, The United Defenders League has indeed been using an auto-recruiter, although we don’t suspect that the loss of the tool will hurt our membership projections – at least not radically. So, on one hand this is a loss, on the other hand, we could look on the bright-side and suggest this is our way of regaining some freedom from wacky responses to auto-recruitment telegrams! Some of my favorites received in response to The United Defenders League’s advertisement include:

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"I saw two words in your telegram. Immediately and destroy! I only assume one thing, you want to destroy me. Well screw you guys I'm going to join someone who can protect me!"


Good lord, I can think of two words I’d rather he had read. ;)

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"It would be great if you stopped slavery"


That’s me, Abe “Unibot” Lincoln.

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" Can I be a raider and a defender at the same time? I joined this game to take over regions and bend the weak to my will, but your organization sounds like the type of thing I might enjoy too."


Mitt Romney called, he wants his self-contradictoriness back.

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"HOW ABOUT YOU GO **** YOUR OWN **** AND THEN SHOVE A PIECE OF **** UP YOUR OWN ********!!!! thats what I think of your bull***** **** mc**** piece of **** telegram"


I admire your passion and colorful choice of asterisks!

Our sincerest apologies to anyone who received double, triple etc. telegrams from our auto-recruiting nation last night, according to Solm, “the host developed an error that kept on restarting all [his] running processes there, but never killing any of them, so it just kept on making new instances of [his] auto-recruiting script”. Prompting Klaus Devestatorie, of course, to suggest that script had become SELF AWARE!! The problem has since been fixed; once again, sorry to anyone who was contacted multiple times, it certainly was not our intention. HHhhhm, on the note of Solm.

Congratulations to Solm and Zwangzug for their promotion to the rank of Lieutenant. Solm is the founder of Ellorea and formerly, Judea, an International Incidents star and one of our tech gurus in addition to an incredibly reliable defender who has been with the organization almost since its genesis. Zwangzug is one of the leading members of NS-Sports and one of the most dependable defenders we have on our staff, she’s always around when we need her to help out with a liberation and she’s been working with us since the very beginning too. These promotions, of course, follow the retirement of Ballotonia, whose service to the defending world is absolutely legend; very rarely does someone have the pleasure to have their heroes join them in their cause – he was an inspiration. Ballotonia is retiring to remain neutral in the game since he’s currently an admin-in-training/code-monkey/thingy – if you’re interested, I’d check out the Advanced Dossier tool that Ballotonia is trialling.

On the subject of Zwangzug, Zwangzug has been organizing The Tournament of the Golden Arrow – it started with 85 competitors, it’s down to just two: Bashan Korxlon of Milograd, the condemned, racist, genocidal hellhole that is new to NS-Sports vs. Aüra Agira of Jasĭyun, managed by Commerce Heights, the commended veteran of NS-Sports and founder of NS-Economy –- couldn’t be more of an interesting finale for the tournament! If you want to participate, feel free to contribute to the roleplay with commentary here.

Lastly, The UDL Monthly Awards will kick off this week and I’ll announce the winners either in an extra or another update.

Question for the Embassy: Ravania is running bets on the UDL forum on how much the population of NationStates will drop on Sunday night since it is 28 days after the IPO, April Fool’s event – take your bets in that thread or post them here and I’ll add them to the list. How much do you think NationStates’s population will drop on Mondaygeddon?

Here’s your Moment of Zen,

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<@Unibot> I remember pre-public UDL.
<@Unibot> That was fun. :P
<+Quadrimmina> What Quad read: pre-pubic UDl.
<@Carta> p. much the same thing, Quadrimmina
<@Carta> we've...
<@Carta> ...
<@Carta> grown since then...
<@Carta> @_@
<+Quadrimmina> Haha.
<+Quadrimmina> The UDL hit puberty?
<@Carta> it's natural
<@Carta> and it happens to all organizations
<+Quadrimmina> It's just a part of growing up.
<+Quadrimmina> Nothing to be ashamed of.
* +Quadrimmina fears the day that the UDL's sex drive kicks in.
<@Carta> already has probably


May Justice Never Be Abandoned,
Unibot
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