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| Captain Europeia teaser; by Rachel Anumia | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 27 2011, 07:27 AM (1,248 Views) | |
| Durkadurkiranistan | Dec 27 2011, 07:27 AM Post #1 |
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“Resistance is futile Captain Europeia; eventually you and your region's inhabitants will join my defender cult. Join me and we can rule the world together” said the defender bot chillingly. “A world that we can run far better without the multitude of ineffective leaders, we would change the game. You enjoy the intellectual game; we’d destroy the defending and raiding gameplay by only allowing people to do what we’d want them to do. That game you desire is within our grasp and we would only need to convert the remnants to my defender cult, all other opposition would be destroyed. Join me as my second in command Captain Europeia and whatever you desire, I will provide”. Captain Europeia pondered these words carefully, before wiping the blood from his brow to stop it from blinding him. “You say that you wish to make the world a better place, but only in your image. We are a free people. A bot does not lead us; a President leads us. The President is the ever-changing face of our region; there is no cult of personality. I would never bow my knee to you, or aid you in your quest for power under the pretense of “defending” and “community” which only serve to legitimize your rule. In the words of Gibbons “From enthusiasm to imposture the step is perilous and slippery; the demon of Socrates affords a memorable instance of how a wise man may deceive himself, how a good man may deceive others, how the conscience may slumber in a mixed and middle state between self-illusion and voluntary fraud”. I do not intend to use the defender cult or deceive us in some misguided quest. I choose democracy. I choose free will. I choose EUROPEIA”. It felt like thunder had struck his chest as the enraged defender bot’s fist made contact, flinging him in the air. Captain Europeia thought of his own sweet home before hitting the wall as blackness swallowed the hero of the free world. To Be Continued…. Edited by Durkadurkiranistan, Dec 27 2011, 09:37 AM.
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| Unibot | Dec 27 2011, 07:31 PM Post #2 |
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Captain Europeia? Worst idea for a superhero ever... And I mean ever... ![]() ... I mean Captain Europeia will dress in godawful orange and green spandex and have justify all of his horribly questionable acts of petty tyranny or worse with confabulations of self-interest. Onder can be his sidekick in short green tights with a cute comb-over and have a knack for saying the crrrraziest things. Europeia's oppression of Stargate:
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| Durkadurkiranistan | Dec 27 2011, 09:19 PM Post #3 |
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Captain Europeia Issue I December 27th 2011 “Fists of Justice” “Wake up Captain” The light hurt his eyes as he fell forward, gently caught by caring hands. “Can you hear us?” “Yes” said the Captain. “You’ve been a sleep a long time, the last time you were here you had been fighting Falconius and his cronies at the steps of Goldenblock” “Did I win?” asked the Captain goofily. “Yes you did. Anumia, HEM and Lethen were then able to then banish him beyond the republic.” “What happened to me?” “You were put to sleep by Anumia. PhDre was very strong and would have used his Aftermath ability to attack Anumia if he knew that you had been wakened once more. But now, we have need of you again. A dark power sweeps across the entire game and our citizens have been going missing. We need you to go to find out why and to help us stop this menace”. “You can count on me sir.” “Call me Grand Admiral Karthikking and these orders come from President Sopo himself Captain.” For two days Captain Europeia searched but he had no luck whatsoever in finding anything about the disappearances. It was time to pay Legion a visit. Donning the guise of an islander, Captain Europeia entered the 10,000 islands. “Well, well well. If isn’t Captain Europeia again, have you come to do battle with us again?” “Us?” “Yes, my name is legion for we are many” “Oh right, I forgot… umm so about these disappearances….” “It’s the work of the defender bot” “The defender bot?” “Yes” said Legion. “It’s a sad story. The FRA were desperate, because the Inquisition Man was breaking it apart piece by piece. So it turned to the defender bot, not fully understanding what they were dealing with. The FRA thought they could use him, but they were wrong and gave him strength that he tried to use against them… and yet, the defender bot failed to make them his puppet. But now, he has been brainwashing people to join his cult… full of hate for those who reject his rule, he craves total power. While you dislike me Captain Europeia and I dislike you as well, neither of us crave a world utterly controlled by our respective powers. We refuse to work with him and prefer the sanctuary of the Islands”. “Then why not fight him?” “I will not fight another defender, Captain Europeia. He has yet been able to take one of us and hence poses no threat to me. But he has been growing his cult to help build himself up! They work day and night, working with metal to grow something larger and more monstrous than the world has ever seen. Perhaps you could have fought him a few months ago, but it is far too late I fear for you to pose much of a threat to him”. “I’m Europeian, we never give up.” “I know, which is why it’s unfortunate that I must destroy you now. Even if you yourself have done much good, you once raided once and that is something I must punish you for proportionally, by destroying you utterly. Goodbye Captain Europeia”. Captain Europeia immediately swung a punch at 10,000 Islands Legion who crumpled immediately from the fist of justice. With a hiss, Legion disintegrated into countless pieces. “You talk a lot Legion, but it looks like you’re more bark than bite”. But then, each of those pieces grew into another person and soon there were tons and tons of Legion. “Ha! Did you really think I’d have bothered to destroy you, if I wasn’t sure of victory? Foolish Europeian. While you may think you can always win, we only try if we are assured of victory, all 10,000 of us” Captain Europeia was already moving, dispensing punches in rapid succession again and again. It may be hopeless, but if he was going to be destroyed, he’d at least destroy as much of Legion as he could. A punch in the gut caught him unawares and led to a hail of pain all over his body as Legion struck him. How did he beat Legion last time? Think Captain goddammit. Then it hit him and Captain Europeia knew what he had to do. Grabbing one of Legion, Captain Europeia threw him at the endless mass. With the extra room Captain Europeia launched into a run, jumping over Legion and smashing into the window of the generator room. Legion burst in quickly after from every direction as Captain America used his fist to break the protective screening of GRUB, the source of 10,000 Islands power. “NOOOOOOOOO” cried out Legion. “I beg you not to destroy us but more importantly, not to tell anyone that you beat us. The mockery by the raiders as it is, is barely bearable. Have pity on me Captain Europeia! It’s not my fault I don’t have a sense of humour!” “Then you better tell me where the defender bot is”. “He’s at the abandoned pool” said Legion. “Thank you, now don’t let me catch you trying to stop the Europeian Navy”. “Bah, we couldn’t stop them if we tried. The rise of Europeia has been too much for us and we used to only fight them when we are assured of victory, but now we are always assured of defeat.” Said Legion sadly. “Your regions rise is undeniable”. “It took too long” replied Captain Europeia “But enough talk, I have a bot to fight”. To Be Continued…. Edited by Durkadurkiranistan, Dec 27 2011, 09:19 PM.
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| Avakael | Dec 28 2011, 12:29 AM Post #4 |
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http://www.delish.com/food/food-articles/strangest-diet-guinness |
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| Casl | Dec 28 2011, 07:39 AM Post #5 |
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Europeia is in Stargate Europeia must fall. |
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| Durkadurkiranistan | Dec 29 2011, 01:35 AM Post #6 |
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Captain Europeia Issue II December 28th 2011 “Arrows in the Dark” “Nearly there Captain!” shouted Notolecta as he piloted the helicopter towards the abandoned pool, flying over the dark forest. “Man, what would a defender bot want to do in a dark place like this?” “Don’t be ridiculous Noto, all villains need a dark fortress. It adds to the atmosphere”. Shouted Captain Europeia back, glad to have his friends with him here. On the team was the Inquisition Man, Rachel Anumia, North East Somerset, Durkadurkiranistan and PASD. The Inquisition man had torn apart the FRA apart piece by piece. It was his very power to do so, iron doors, people and most impressively child proof lids were no match for him. Durkadurkiranistan has the power to control water, making him a feared force in the Pacifics. Rachel Anumia, North East Somerset and PASD are ordinary Europeians armed to the teeth. The helicopter slowly started to descend into a clearing when out the darkness came roaring light. A rocket whizzed past, just missing the chopper as it screamed overhead. “Notolecta, get us down now!” shouted Captain Europeia. “Jump! You’re near enough to the ground.” Captain Europeia and his team jumped from the chopper as it flew away. Another roar came moments later and the team watched in horror as it struck the helicopter straight on, lighting the night with a ball of fire. “Nooooo!” shouted Captain Europeia as Rachel shed a tear. “Captain!” Shouted PASD “The Inquisition Man twisted his ankle when he landed” “Ugh, why didn’t he do a somersault right away?” asked Captain Europeia. “I can’t do somersaults, I can’t get past putting my head on the floor”. “What kind of superhero are you?” asked NES. “Not the somersaulting kind” groaned The Inquisition Man. “Jesus wept” said NES. “Well, we’ll just have to leave you behind, sorry Inquisition Man” said Captain Europeia. The team, with their spirits dampened continued their journey on foot through the forest. “It’s doubtful they are looking for us” said Captain Europeia “they probably think that everything is back to the status quo with the chopper down.” “I guess there’s that” moped Rachel. “Hey look! It’s the pool!” exclaimed PASD. It was massive. The defender bot and his cult had built another structure over it, built of scrap airplanes, tanks and the ship containers. “I wonder why there aren’t any guards” mused Rachel. “Arrogance most likely” said Captain Europeia. “Okay, we need a plan. So, we’ll send in Rachel first and if she doesn’t back out we’ll go in ourselves”. “Really?” “No, of course not. We’ll all go in together, but you guys fight the guards and I’ll go straight to take down the defender bot. Sounds good?” “That’s a pretty crap plan,” said Durk. “Do you have a better one?” “Yes, several” answered Durk. “It was a rhetorical question! Are you guys ready to kick Evil’s butt?” said Captain Europeia inspirationally. “I don’t know why I try” complained Durk. “Charge!” With that, they were sprinting across the open ground. Captain Europeia jumped towards the door, smashing it inward. Twenty cultists stood in shock at Captain Europeia and his team. One Cultist, well over 6’6” flexed before taking out his sword and taking a few steps forward. “If it isn’t Captain Europeia! My sword was made for me by the defender bot himself, it’s steel was forged in North Carolina when we raided it. Its name is the conjunction of all the members of our group! Freddy-Teddy-Alfred-Jo..” BANG. The giant cultist found himself done in by our hero Captain Europeia himself! Captain Europeia shook his head and said “What is with defenders and talking so much?” before running to find the defender bot himself. The cultists looked to where Captain Europeia had gone. “I wouldn’t chase him if I were you” threatened NES. “Distraction. Quickly Rachel, flash them!” “I’m not going to flash them” said Rachel blushing. The room quickly descended into violence as the cultists stormed Captain Europeia’s team. PASD felled one with a “Mat Cooke” to his head, then clapping another ones ears, taking advantage of the cultist’s pain by knocking him out with a blow straight to the noggin. NES, wrestled one before throwing her into another then teamed up with PASD by bear hugging another cultist, allowing PASD to fell him with a swift punch. Rachel told a cultist that the defender bot had arrived, and then took advantage of his distraction. She kneed him where it most hurt and then kneed him again in the head. Another cultist however took hold of her hair, causing Rachel to try to turtle. “Help me Durk” she shouted. Durk was busy however, and was holding tough as he took a hit took to the head before returning the favour in spades, knocking out the cultist. “Duck Rach” Rachel ducked as Durk launched himself feet first to kick the cultist, flying over Rachel, knocking the cultist away and into PASD’s outstretched elbow. Durk however bounced off Rachel as he came down, flooring her and landing semi-gracefully. “Gee, thanks Durk” exclaimed Rachel as she got up gingerly. “You did ask for it” Durk replied cheekily. The rest of the cultists were quickly defeated by Captain Europeia’s team. Winning due to the great individual and team effort. “Well, those men were pretty easy” said Durk. “It looks like we have two ways to go, I say we split up” said NES “Rachel and I will take the right, PASD and Durk will take the left.” The team agreed, setting off divided and unsure into the dark heart of the defender bot’s lair. Will the team be able to reach Captain Europeia in time? Is Notolecta alive? And will the Inquisition Man ever learn to do a somersault? To be Continued…. |
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| Zaolat | Dec 29 2011, 02:14 AM Post #7 |
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When does mek show up? |
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| Sireon Yarth | Dec 29 2011, 08:35 AM Post #8 |
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Urgh! Make it stop Batman! *shudders* |
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| Durkadurkiranistan | Jan 1 2012, 02:34 AM Post #9 |
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Captain Europeia Issue III December 31st 2011 “Men in Tights” “So, want to do it NES?” asked Rachel mischievously. “Do what?” “You know… in the dark…” “I have no idea what you’re talking about” said NES. “Nevermind” “No, what was it?” Rachel shoves NES playfully. “So about the British Empire…” starts Rachel. “Don’t get me started on British the British Empire, or we’ll never find Captain Europeia” says NES half-jokingly. They heard two cultists talking up ahead. “Hey you two! Do you know where we can find the defender bot?” called out Rachel, who saw that these ones were armed. “What the hell are you two doing here?” “Oh you know how the Defender Bot likes his, benefits” said Rachel thinking quickly. “Then why do you have guy with you?” Crap thought Rachel. “Umm… well… you see, I have rules and you know!” says Rachel both awkwardly and silly. “Oh… two guys, go through!” said the cultist. “Thanks!” “What can I say?” said NES sheepishly. NES and Rachel walk past the guards, before Rachel stops. “Ah crap” Rachel says. “What?” asks one of the cultists. “I seem to have your guns” Rachel shows that she indeed has the guns, having snatched them as she walked by and tosses one to NES. “Okay boys, on your knees!”. Rachel and NES proceed to tie up the guards before continuing along before coming across another checkpoint. “Oi” shouted NES with authority. “Pathetic”. “What’s pathetic Sir!” asked the frightened cultist. “Look at your uniforms! Your tights are sitting too tight! If the defender bot came a long and saw you looking like this, he could have your head… but more likely your girlfriend!” “It won’t happen again!” “It’s better not to even THINK such pathetic nonsense. Now, to do this, you must chain yourself to the chair” Having done so, NES and Rachel continued on their way. “Could the defender bot really steal someone’s girlfriend NES?” “Lol no” They continued on before entering a darkened room and immediately the door shut behind them. “Crap” exclaimed NES, trying his best to open the door. Rachel feels around the room. “I think we’re stuck NES”. “Come on NES, let’s keep looking! There must be a way… something we can do” “It’s a lost cause, this room was designed as a trap… we have been caught” “What about this grenade?” asked Rachel angrily. “Calm down Rachel and think properly, a grenade is NOT the solution” Luckily, they found an air vent on the ceiling which took them to the heart of the abandonded pool where the Defender Bot was having a pep rally. “Loyal slaves, I mean friends… the outside world is saying that we’re a dictatorship, are we?” shouted the Defender Bot. “Ummm… what are we supposed to say Dear Leader? I forgot what we rehearsed” said a Cultist. “You’re supposed to say we’re not a dictatorship!” “We are not a Dictatorship. We vote on important things like which movies we’ll be watching!” shouted the Cultists in unison. “You know, I heard they vote on more than just movies in Europeia… they even elect their leaders!” said the same Cultists. “Facts don’t matter. What I say is far more important, friends the evil that is raiding must be destroyed by converting them; their actions are on par with tickling people!” “NO! NOT TICKLING” exclaimed the Cultists! “Or poking someone” said the Defender Bot edgily. “OH GOD, PLEASE STOP” “Or worst of all, going to real life social events” exclaimed the Defender Bot with fire in his eyes. “THE HORROR!” “Cultists, this is clearly not about me having my own little cult. No, this is about combating such an evil!” “HUZZAH!” However, just at that moment Rachel and NES saw the hero of the free world, Captain Europeia enter. Stay tuned for the epic conclusion as Captain Europeia does battle with the defender bot. To Be Continued… Special Thanks to Durk for his input! Happy New Year! |
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| Sireon Yarth | Jan 2 2012, 11:25 PM Post #10 |
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Not enough sheep.
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4:58 PM Jul 13