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| Understanding.; I don't get it. I just don't get it. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 2 2016, 07:21 AM (765 Views) | |
| Ryoukai | Feb 2 2016, 07:21 AM Post #1 |
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Pariah Prince
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So, I was doing some thinking. We all have those moments where we just have no idea what the heck someone else is thinking, or why on earth they'd do something like that, and so on, right? I don't doubt that. But what got me thinking was that there are usually a lot of OTHER situations like that, where you just completely fail to understand someone else's viewpoint on a certain subject, or just cannot grasp their reasons for reaching a certain conclusion. It's moments like those that create some serious differences between people; and while people being different is hardly a BAD thing (You just kinda have to accept that as a fact of life, after all), sometimes these differences can cause some SERIOUS feuds and can do a lot of damage; And not always just on the emotional level... So, what's this topic for? Well, i figured that the best way to better understand eachother would be to talk things over rationally. If there's something you find you just cannot for the life of you understand, say so here. If you see something here that you have a firmer grasp on that the person who posted it, try and make them see things your way, or explain it in a way that makes more sense to them. NOTE: This is NOT a topic for people to start ranting on and on about things that they don't like or whatever. Go dredge up the Rant Topic of that's what you're after. Furthermore, this is NOT a topic for getting into arguments. Keep discussion civil, level headed, and calm above all else. That should go for the whole forum, really, but this particular subject matter warrants an extra warning, I feel. |
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| NakaTeleeli | Feb 2 2016, 09:02 AM Post #2 |
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Naka the Honeywhite
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Believe it or not, Ogre and myself get into discussions like this every now and then. They're never really heated, but I'll try my best to explain where I'm coming from and no matter what I say there just seems to be a wall there. Sometimes he comes around, sometimes we just move on and recognize we're not going to be seeing eye-to-eye on that one. One that comes to mind is that I wanted to show off a glitch in a game we were LPing, but we were playing on his copy of the game. Now I understand enough about how games and glitches and programming works to know what could actually cause damage to a game or not, and I tried explaining that this simply could not hurt anything, it was just a silly trick that made you move a little faster. He was adamantly against it though, for fear that messing it up could cause some irreparable damage to his cartridge. I eventually just had to let it slide. Though funnily enough he eventually said "Sure, you can do it" and then while I was practicing it he ended up wanting to take a stab at it too. We even saw a glitch showcase video and he sort of wanted to try some of the other ones. (I never could get a hang of it, so we never did it) I feel like sometimes it's a difference of opinion, and sometimes someone has an opinion before they even know they do, and when you spring something on them they'll dig their heels in without understanding the situation in order to resist change. Heck, I do it too. But if you give it a bit of time it'll sink in more casually without the digging in and they'll understand the situation far better than continuing the discussion ever would have. |
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| THEkingroxas | Feb 5 2016, 03:55 AM Post #3 |
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I'm Dante~
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So, I'm not contributing a misunderstanding per se, but rather an idea of what discussion should be. In my college English 1 class, we went over a piece going over what the real point of discussion is. What I interpreted it as is discussion is a means by which individuals may partake in discourse in a joint venture to approach a middle ground or a better understanding of the topic at hand. TLDR: Talking about something to the point where everyone is satisfied or knows more. It's a means of solving disputes and conflicts. Now, this person also talked on polemics, which are quite the opposite of proper discussion. Polemics are generally what we see in debates and such on TV. They are attacks on people and are situations where someone must "lose" and someone must "win" rather than being a healthy discussion in which both parties come out all the better. Of course there are prejudices which create unsolvable conflict, but I wholeheartedly believe that if everyone with power were to take a more scholarly approach to discussions, it would definitely create more Understanding. |
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| JamesGoblin | Feb 5 2016, 05:41 PM Post #4 |
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Sometimes, it's better to not know what kind of scary and spooky psychoPatoLobotoMorbid thoughts are dancing under someone's scalp... PS I like chocolate ice cream best! |
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| Hatsune Candy | Feb 6 2016, 03:31 PM Post #5 |
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The soul of a forgotten file
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Being a liberal in a family full of conservatives makes way for a plethora of misunderstandings, especially between me and my mom. My mom is still under the impression that I'm Christian, like her, which causes her to make a lot of untrue assumptions. That's mostly my fault, since I don't have the nerve to tell her I'm an atheist, even though I really want to. That being said, I seriously don't understand why some people find it so difficult to accept that others can have different opinions and beliefs from theirs, it's honestly not that hard if you just try. I guess the problem is many people don't wanna try, they want everyone to think the way they do; if only they realized how ridiculous that is. Ah well, that's just wishful thinking. |
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| THEkingroxas | Feb 8 2016, 10:57 PM Post #6 |
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I'm Dante~
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Well, many lives are built upon specific world views and acknowledging that there can be a correct view that is dissimilar to yours may be difficult. You can't expect a child to like vegetables the first time around, and if it's strong enough hey may turn their back on it altogether. Also, they could see it as an attack on their identity. By trying to force people to immediately address somethig that radically challenges their beliefs will cause dissonance and in turn create a negative reaction. Circumstances are different for each individual but these are some things to consider. Immediate radical change has historically never been well received no matter the scale. |
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| NakaTeleeli | Feb 9 2016, 09:05 AM Post #7 |
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Naka the Honeywhite
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I think that goes for everybody. We can't really say we don't do it ourselves. Mostly we just perceive ourselves to be "right". This is where stubbornness comes in. I know for a fact I'm resistant to a few things. Help and advice is one, even if it's 100% the better way of doing things. During the immediate discussion I dig my heels in and resist it as much as possible and get into some arguments. Once all is said and done, and my brain has time to process the actual events and discussion while not under the pressure of the discussion itself, I'll usually come around and start to get what they meant. |
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| Hatsune Candy | Feb 9 2016, 09:16 AM Post #8 |
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The soul of a forgotten file
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It's not like I'm asking anyone to change their views, just that they accept that other people can have different views from theirs; they don't have to agree with them, but they shouldn't be trying to suppress them. Whether or not a given worldview can be seen as 'correct' is a whole other subject entirely, if not a bit ridiculous, since they're basically just opinions.
Edited by Hatsune Candy, Feb 9 2016, 09:29 AM.
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| JBRam | Feb 11 2016, 05:32 PM Post #9 |
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Don't play with fire, kids.
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If I've learned one lesson in the past decade, it's that I am very often wrong. My core belief system, my political beliefs, my specific religious affiliation, all have changed dramatically in the past decade or so. When I was a junior in high school, I was part of Boys' State (an organization that teaches high school boys about politics by throwing them into a mock legislature), and I argued passionately against several political topics that I now support, to the point where I was mock-arrested and put in front of a mock-court for voting against the mock-bill they wanted mock-passed (which I think was mock-illegal... I digress). I grew up as a "Fundamentalist Independent Baptist," which I now look back on as extremist Christianity to its furthest nonviolent extent. I now have a much more moderate view on life, which accepts that portions, if not majorities, of nearly every religion have validity. I've learned a lot from Islam, Buddhism, and other portions of Christianity I previously shunned. One thing that's tough for me is when I'm facing direct criticism: You did this wrong. I immediately want to shut down and tell them they're dumb for not seeing what I did. Or worse, if I put a ton of effort into something, and everyone hated it. That always gets me annoyed, sometimes angry, even though the opinions expressed are usually quite valid. It takes me some time to calm down and will myself to listen to the complaints without snapping back. Either way, one of the biggest things you can learn is that EVERYONE has a valid point of view in their own mind, even if you strongly disagree. |
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| NatsumeHonnaji | Feb 19 2016, 05:14 AM Post #10 |
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I get into situations like that quote often and I myself am absolutely horrible at explaining things, like I can't explain things for the life of me, and that goes extra for my thoughts. So when I get into discussions like that it's rather difficult for me to get the other person to understand where I'm coming from or even know what I'm trying to say in general. Being that way and knowing how difficult it is for people to understand me I always do my best to try to understand and see where the other person is coming from. Of course that often leads to argument when I try to explain that I'm trying to say the exact same thing they are in some cases. To be honest I often end up in arguments with my friend just because I can't explain that we're arguing the same point. |
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3:30 AM Jul 11