| Love | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 1 2011, 10:21 PM (25,584 Views) | |
| THEkingroxas | Jun 11 2013, 08:38 PM Post #731 |
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I'm Dante~
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Heh, with all this talk of long distance relationships, I feel it the appropriate time to share a little bit. I knew this girl in sixth grade. She wasn't the hot shit or anything, but we had a lot in common. She moved away after that year, but we kept in touch over the summer. We both really liked each other, but it was a relationship doomed to fail. I probably could've kept the relationship going for longer, but I wasn't much of a talker back then. I just let it fade away. I haven't talked to her in years, which is a shame. It was my first and only "relationship" if you could call it even that. What I've learned is that I'm not mentally ready to dedicate to someone. Every time I like a girl I always think "am I ready for this?" The answer is usually "no" but there may be one or two girls that the answer may be "yes". For now I've stopped hoping for a relationship to instead focus on enjoying what's left of highschool. |
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| Minmin-Sama | Jul 6 2013, 05:31 AM Post #732 |
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BUNNY ON DA ROOOOF
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Welp, you can call me a hypocrite now. Min is officially single as of yesterday. :c |
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| Wool | Jul 6 2013, 09:22 AM Post #733 |
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Triggers.
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:C :C :C |
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| AeroA113 | Jul 6 2013, 09:35 AM Post #734 |
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Oh my god... Min, I'm so sorry... AeroA113 offers comfort cuddles :c |
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| Gaia | Jul 6 2013, 09:58 AM Post #735 |
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The Embodiment of Earth
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I don't have much to say or offer myself, but I'll be around on Skype spontaneously today until about 3pm your time if you need to talk. I hope you can have a nice day today at least. |
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| Alteiriaa | Jul 12 2013, 09:26 PM Post #736 |
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Avatar of Altered Perception
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Long distance relationships can and usually are tricky buisness, I've been in one myself over the last year and a half (to someone across the ocean no less!), but I don't regret a damn thing. Dispite being over a ocean away, my boy called me when I was in the hospital, several times just to make sure I was alright at stupid o'clock in the morning from where he was. In long distance relationships it's more about what you do with what you can then worrying about what you can't do, I find. You do have to hang around online more and or use the phone more and be willing to possibly shill out for long distance calls, but with a little bit more work put in, the relationship flies just as well as any other! Plus, you know, it does make your in-person meetings just that much more special. <3 ....That said though, I've been lucky in that my sweetheart could come learn in Canada for a year, so when he was off school he could just come live at my house for a few weeks. It's coming up on time for him to go home though, so after a brief trip to Britian I'm gonna have to leave him there until the next time one of us can travel. It's gonna hurt really bad. .____. Also, Min, I'm so sorry. D: *teh Alty also offers (delayed) comfort cuddles* Edited by Alteiriaa, Jul 12 2013, 09:27 PM.
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| Gaia | Aug 10 2013, 05:26 PM Post #737 |
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The Embodiment of Earth
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So yeah. Inside I'm just like "OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH" right now. This girl that I like just messaged me and asked me if I wanted to hang out tomorrow. I don't know if she feels the same way, but my heart is sort of kind of pounding right now. *Edit: Pretty sure she outright asked me on a date. Sort of psyched. Edited by Gaia, Aug 10 2013, 06:00 PM.
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| Hatsune Candy | Nov 3 2013, 04:36 AM Post #738 |
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The soul of a forgotten file
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It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Ha! On the outside, maybe, but most of those who say that haven't experienced it for themselves. They don't understand the sheer amount of pain one goes through when losing someone they love, and the rest are just ignorant fools living in their own little worlds. Like I used to. I used to believe I couldn't live properly without love, but now I'm starting to hate it. Scratch that, I've been starting to hate for a while now, I've just been denying it. Love is always causing me pain in the end. And yet it always lures me in with promises of a happy, fulfilling life, before promptly breaking those promises. I shouldn't give all the credit to love itself, though, people play a role too. Breaking my heart without showing any sympathy or consideration. Saying they still care even though if that was really true they would be aware of the pain they're intentionally putting me through. All because they can't bare the pain of love themselves, the pain of maintaining a relationship. As if they didn't realize that every relationship brings pain with it. If you push on through, it becomes worth it. But only if you push on through, otherwise it was all for nothing, a total waste. And you say you care.... If they really did care for me, they wouldn't be putting me through such pain while they practically escape feeling hardly any. They'd keep trying. They'd push through for me. They would be understanding. And they most certainly wouldn't just give up so easily, so quickly, after so long. Because they'd know deep down in their hearts that we were meant to be. Every relationship experiences pain, it doesn't mean it should end. I've done all of that and so much more. They used to be able to see that and do the same back. But then... I don't know what happened, but at least one thing is clear to me. They no longer care enough to try, to keep their promises, and it's beginning to look like they never will again... I'm convinced I've lost the only person I will ever truly love..... |
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| Speedy | Nov 3 2013, 08:12 AM Post #739 |
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Fairly sure I've given up.
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You know, Candy? I've been holding back on replying on the things you post lately, as I know you've been going through shit and wanted to give you some space to rant and let it go. But if you go and well, blatantly insult someone else, because that's what this entire post IS.. then I'm not gonna sit still. You can rediscover yourself all you want and blame VE for all sorts of bullshit that you yourself were too shortsighted to see, but all that shows is that you're still immature. You seem to have no regard for how other people might feel and yet blame us when we supposedly don't keep an eye on yours. Candy.. get the fuck over yourself, man. And visit a psychiatrist, cause I'm worried that self-diagnosting shit you've been doing has just been making things worse, rather than better. |
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| NakaTeleeli | Nov 3 2013, 09:39 PM Post #740 |
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Naka the Honeywhite
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Okay Candy. I don't know the entire story here, but I've heard a bit, and what I can say is that this needs to stop. I understand that you're angry and going through a lot, but you're lashing and taking that anger out on the forum. You're insulting people here that if haven't actually been trying to help are innocent by-standards, myself included. You're not just hurting the forum and the people here, but you're hurting yourself by cutting off ties with people that would be willing to help and support you. One way or the other this needs to stop. As I said, I understand that you're angry, despite what you think, there are many of us who have indeed been through the same thing. Let me tell you a story about myself. I wasn't very social in school, I was especially afraid to talk to girls. I was afraid if I asked one out they'd laugh at me, that they'd pass that information around and everyone would laugh at me for having the gall to ask one out and I'd be the laughing stock of the school. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was in highschool and even then it wasn't until I'd gotten her to admit she liked me first. We were together for years, almost all of highschool. I loved her to death and couldn't conceive of living without her. We also fought. Constantly. We broke up once, only to get back together in a month or so. We were almost never happy. Only for a brief moment after we'd made up after a fight, just before getting into another. You see, I have attachment issues. I like to think I've grown past them, but I honestly don't know. I thought if I lost her I'd never have anybody ever again. I'd lose the only person who ever loved me. No matter what happened, no matter how hard we fought, the thought of breaking up never occurred to me. But eventually she reached the end of her rope and dumped me for good. I was broken. I had nothing left, I'd just lost everything I had. I cried. I begged her to come back, to give me another shot, that I'd change. She declined, and I was left miserable. If someone had told me then that "It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" I'd have punched him square in the nose. But you know what? I calmed down. No, it wasn't quick. No, it wasn't painless. But as time went on I felt less angry and less distressed. I became more and more able to think back on our time together with clarity, and not blinded by fear. It was only now that I realized how unhappy both of us were together. It was a miracle we held together that long. Despite thinking that I would never find anybody ever again, I did. A time later I found someone else and dated her for a bit. She dumped me too. Found another girl. Dated her for a year. She dumped me too. Found another girl, dated her for three years. She dumped me too. Did it get easier? Did I just shrug it off after a while? Not even remotely. Every single time it happened hurt just as much, was just as painful as that first time. But every time, after a while, I calmed down and in time could look back on it with clarity. I could see why we broke up. Why it just wasn't going to work. And each time I learned. Not just about other people, but about myself. I learned about relationships. I learned about dealing with other people. I learned how to treat people. After that last break up I got another girlfriend. And this time? I'm the one who broke us up. She was heartbroken. She was destroyed. She was begging me for another chance. I felt like trash for doing it, but I also knew it just wasn't going to work. Love is a two-way street. They have to love you as much as you love them. They have to be happy with the relationship just as much as you are. And nobody owes it to anybody to feign happiness for another's sake. If one of the two isn't happy that's the end of it. Try to work it out. If it isn't working it needs to end. Both people have to be happy. Both people also need to try. When you find someone that person should accept you for who you are, yes, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't change for her. You need to make her happy. And not in the "I'll get her a gift or something" kind of way. You find that one thing that she doesn't like about you and if you care enough about her you'll want to change that part of you for her. It's not about your happiness. It's about both of you being happy. Looking back, yes, I'm happier to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Despite the pain, I've since realized that what was happening wasn't going to work. I've learned a lot and matured, I've grown a great deal as a person, which has helped me better function in relationships and find someone I do care about. Even now, I'm 27 years old and just a year or two ago I found someone I love more than the world. We fight, but I also know that unlike last time I'm happy. I fight for this and make it work. I change for her because I want her to be happy, not because she wants me to change. If this were to fall through (and I'm crossing my fingers so hard that it does not) I honestly don't know what I would do, I don't know how I would meet anybody new or what I would do with myself. But I know I would. Because I've got a long life ahead of me. Five, ten, twenty, forty years down the road. How many people have I met thus far in such a short amount of time comparatively? After what I've been through I don't want to hear anybody say I "haven't experienced it myself" or that I'm an "ignorant fool living in my own little world". Because that's absolute BS. After what I've been through I don't want to hear anybody talking about how this is the end of the world and they'll never find anybody else. Because that's absolute BS. And you know what? Everybody goes through this. I am not unique. It's a part of growing as a person, and we all never stop growing. We all keep going because some of us have found that person that makes us happy. So happy that we're willing to deal with the pain. Sure, it may still fall through, but we grow a great deal and do still have memories of what good times there were. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it hurts. But life goes on, and this won't last forever. Yes, it feels like it will. It feels like the end of the world. It's not. Even reading this you'll just say that I don't know what I'm talking about, and heaven help me that pisses me off more than anything that someone would assume that after the crap I've been through. So don't take it out on me. Don't take it out on the others here. Don't take it out on Aero. Don't take it out on the forum. We're here to help. I'm here any time you need to talk about anything, but I'll be damned if I sit here while this happens on my forum. |
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3:31 AM Jul 11