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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 1 2011, 10:21 PM (25,576 Views) | |
| Hatsune Candy | Dec 26 2014, 03:59 AM Post #801 |
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The soul of a forgotten file
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Oh wow, that's Awesome, I'm really happy for you guys! Congratulations to the both of you~
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| Naku Nyame | Dec 29 2014, 11:38 PM Post #802 |
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The changed Naku
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First I must say congratulations to the both of you. I'm glad to hear you're together now. Now for my actual reason for posting in here. I have decided I don't want a normal relationship. I will be a part of different forms of relationships and I was curious if any of you have thought about such things as a Polyamerous relationship |
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| HexZyle | Feb 8 2015, 08:34 PM Post #803 |
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Welp, since I'm going to be hanging around here, might as well bring up a little bit of my history on this topic. Excuse the necro. I recently came out of a decent relationship on what I'd call a "good" note in October last year. My partner had the foresight to understand when something wasn't going to work out, and I had the humility to let her make the final decision, seeing as I'm rather blind to how relationships work, and my memory of spoken conversation dissolves within minutes. This didn't stop me from developing a lot of both remorse and anger about the whole ordeal for several months, a response I only believe was natural since we'd been dating for almost four and a half years, and we'd made plans in September to move out together into our own home in January. It's only very recently that I've been able to come to acceptance of my mistakes made during our relationship leading up to the breakup, and to realize how little effort I'm willing to put into them, and it's allowed me to let go of those pent-up negative emotions. So now I've come to a point where I understand that I'm the type of person who cares not for sinking the amount of time and effort into a relationship that most women would expect out of a guy. Maybe it's the breakup talking, and you're within your right to disbelieve me when I say this, but I don't think I'm fit for a relationship with any reasonable (not weird) woman. I think if I want to be in a relationship, I'll have to find someone who cares less about it than I do otherwise I'll not be giving my partner the attention she deserves. Maybe my opinion will change over time. |
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| THEkingroxas | Jan 27 2016, 04:45 AM Post #804 |
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I'm Dante~
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Well it's 1 am- the time I tend to be the most lucid- this so happens to be one of my favorite threads in this forum, and it's been well over a year so I think a reply is due. :U It's nearing the two year mark of when I broke up with my ex and I've had a lot more ups and downs in the "love" department. Here's a quick recap: I stood back as a friend of mine asked out the girl I like- they've recently had their year anniversary and I'm sure they couldn't be happier. It hurt. A lot. I was pretty down for about half a year, and it kinda sucked when I saw them together, but that's past. The reason I stood back is because I had just recently gotten in to a new friend group and I didn't want to risk losing it. The marks that the last ventures I had still had yet to fade away, so I was afraid to mess up another relationship as well as make it harder to be with this group of people. I really didn't want to lose more friendships. It still hurt a lot though. And it's my fault, I don't have anyone else to blame for that. Now, by the time I had moved on, I thought I had a better understanding of what this "love" and "romance" business is all about. But the next person I felt myself attracted to was merely because I thought "oh she's cute". I toiled with the thought of telling her how I feel, but I was too afraid to yet again. Not because I was afraid to ruin something, but because it never felt right. Looking back on it, I was acting really dumb because the relationship wouldn't have worked out anyway. I've slowly come to realize that I want someone to share my interests with, a companion, a friend. That's probably why I felt so crappy after that incident lightly detailed in the first paragraph. It's also why I cut my first relationship, albeit not very well ehehe... And I've got my eye on someone now, so wish me luck And to our friend up above me, and to any future friends who come to this topic looking for advice in the same area, I humbly offer you this as someone with very little experience in this feeling called "love": Take some time to figure out what kind of relationship you want to be in and what kind of person you want to be with- take that as you will. Different things work for different people. And if you can't find the time or drive to invest in a relationship, that's fine! You may even not be generally interested in romantic ventures, and maybe take the time to step back and realize that. Everyone has their own situations with the "why" or "why not" so I can only offer this much. Apologies if you were constantly saying "yeah yeah" or something else along that line. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and it was quite therapeutic to write out. I wish everyone only the best in life; til we find ourselves here again~ Edited by THEkingroxas, Jan 27 2016, 04:51 AM.
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| Blackhook | Feb 19 2016, 12:22 PM Post #805 |
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Fleet of the 7 winds
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Well, good to see you at least know what you are looking for. |
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| FieryBlitz | Feb 21 2016, 09:38 PM Post #806 |
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The Embodiment of Smugness
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Looking for romantic love is for the naive. The family is all I need to keep standing and pushing forward. Having a romantic lover might bite you where it hurts and leave you torn up. But a family is always there to watch your back and vice versa. Even if you have no girlfriend, you can still be filled with joy that you have become an uncle, determined to see your baby niece grow up to become an amazing person. It was never said that "love" only had one form. As long as you and your family remain unite, there is nothing you can't do. #family love is unstoppable Edited by FieryBlitz, Feb 21 2016, 09:40 PM.
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| Blackhook | Feb 22 2016, 12:25 AM Post #807 |
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Fleet of the 7 winds
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Well, romantic love is technically about making your own family so it is kinda interchangeable. |
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| Giga | Aug 25 2017, 06:21 AM Post #808 |
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♌
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Man, it's been a while. Four or so years since I posted in this thread. I'm in the middle of going through my backlog of recently updated comics, and I came across this one which just reminded me of this thread. (My comment on there's got my real first name in it, though I'm fine with sharing that on the 'net. S'just not exactly important information.) So, I figured I'd give an update on what's happened since my last post, as well as agreeing with Blackhook and FieryBlitz in their latest posts, and wishing Roxas and HexZyle the best. All of that happened over a year and a half ago, though, so there have definitely been developments, but still. On my own developments, remember how I said I let myself get roped into relationships I didn't actually want? Well, I joined a roleplaying community called Pesterchum. The people there are half toxic, half genuinely good people, by distribution. By virtue of the part of the internet they're a fan of (Homestuck) some of them can be misguided into viewing love in strange ways. I experienced infatuation, both from myself and from someone else toward myself, and one... weird experience I hope never to repeat. Let's go in chronological order. First, I met a girl who called herself Panda. Now, everyone wanted to get into Panda's pants. The character was simply that fun to be around, that desirable of a companion. So I got into the business of being her friend, and also quite the white knight. When her character was in danger, I'd swoop in and attempt to punch that danger right in the face. When her friend's character, who her character had exited an abusive relationship with, had absconded through a door into a private chat, I, being emotional and caring a bit too much what happened to my character, took the stalkerish route of shoving my ear up to the door to try to hear what they were saying. Out of character, I was friends with Panda, but not any of her friends, due to a mishap I couldn't recover from during my first impression on them. I still talked with Panda, and RP'd, and we were having a good time until we had to switch IRC channels. Now, I don't know if the person I ran into on this second channel knew me from somewhere else on pesterchum, or just wanted to be a complete *insert the worst insult you can think of here* but partway through our time on the second channel, someone decided to rape Panda's character. With her lore, it's one of the easiest things to do - just make her unwittingly eat some meat, any kind of meat, and it's like a powerful aphrodisiac. She loses control. This person, who is named Tofu, feeds Panda some meat, and is JUST about to start the deed, when I log into the channel. And bam, timeskip. "I'm gonna count to three, snap my fingers, and you'll realise what happened. One, two, three, snap!" All in one text post. I was livid. The most angry I can recall being at any one person, ever. More than I've ever been angry at my brother, which is saying something powerful. Bringing it up still makes me angry, so I'll leave it at that. I stayed with the character through the pregnancy and childbirth, but the main problem is that the child was played by the person who raped Panda, and had this hate boner for me for no discernable reason. So, the child would just start crying whenever I was within 100 feet of it. Didn't matter what I was doing. Eventually, I decided to leave that IRC channel, with or without Panda. I'd made acquaintances, but not any that I wanted to keep as legitimate friends, so I said my goodbyes and headed off. But, not before I got a private message from Panda, within which there was some ERP, instigated by her. That was a very nice sendoff, to me. I'd sent my message loud and clear, got what amounted to a people pleaser giving in to roleplay wish fulfilment, and we went our separate ways. Second, I met a girl whose name I honestly can't- wait, no, it was Maria. She was from the Philippines, and her views on love were very distorted based on the Homestuck fandom. I gave her my brand of armchair psychology, which I'm told by my patients is fairly accurate, and felt like that would be all, but she asked me to keep talking with her, not as a friend, but as a "moirail". In terms of the fandom, this is a more romantic version of a best friend, no benefits. What she wanted out of me was, simply, more than I was willing to put in. When she came back to talk with me, I continued giving her my brand of armchair psychology, our cultural ideologies clashed (people in the Philippines don't openly question their parents if they're demonstrably wrong, for example) but I never came to her with any of my own problems, partially because I didn't think my problems were worth talking about and partially because I knew this girl wasn't stable enough in her own head to help me with mine. Eventually, our paths split due to this, and I haven't talked to or seen her since. I hope she's doin' alright, honestly. Finally, the bit I hope never happens again. ... *sigh* I gotta do this. I've gotta type it down, and post it. Y'see, I was roped into another relationship I didn't actually want to happen. When it started, I knew this. I knew it would be a bad idea going in and yet I fuckin' did it anyways. On that part, I'm a dumbass. This wasn't your bog-standard two person relationship, either. It was an online three way. The worst kind of three way, too, the kind where it's a triangle of unrequitted love, and it loops around. Me being straight (with exactly one exception, and even then it's only for the guy's personality, and not his looks) this was a three way with two girls. The girl I had a crush on was secretly a lesbian, but in general an actually really cool person. Nice, fun to hang around, makes music, doesn't quite know how to make real friends. The girl she had a crush on, who had the crush on me and started this whole disaster, was, for lack of a better term, a tumblrina. She was a little annoying, manipulative and rude but only in the long term, unfortunately had good taste in anime openings (Kekkai Sensen in particular - I watched one episode with this girl and could not decide whether I wanted her to interrupt the anime with whatever she was doing while not watching it or not) and, I assume, did her absolute best to appeal to me, without knowing what I actually wanted. This girl sent me nudes, and I didn't feel morally right in keeping them. She told me "Oh, I guess I'll try doing [X made up tumblr sexual preference] again. That was pretty fun." in a call one time, which just baffled me. If that sort of preference is such a malleable thing to you, there's a certain thing we can boil all of that down to, which is bisexual. You can use evidence to prove that. I didn't think of such a thing, being unable to respond, to my recollection, but if I had, I would've, and we probably would've fought. We never fought. The two girls fought over the fact that the one I favored was the only one getting my attention. This was only ever brought to my attention after it had hit a boiling point, and things had ended. I still have their two conversation logs, in which the girl I didn't favor broke up with the one I did in FAR too violent of a method. I'm not on friendly speaking terms with the girl I didn't favor. After that, the girl I did favor was feeling lonesome, so I asked if I could introduce her to my friends, and she agreed. I happily introduced her as my still-girlfriend, to which she replied (paraphrased) "lolwut? nah bro, you were the entire reason that ended. we're not together anymore." I then happily introduced her as my ex, to which she replied "what, are you happy about us breaking up?" From then until now, I showed through my actions and not my words that I didn't particularly care about us breaking up, we're friends, yo. And, we are still friends. Every so often we exchange some words. She sends me a new song she's finished uploading to soundcloud or youtube, I give my opinions on it. If we find one we both like, and have, we play some video games. Mostly it's just memes passed between us, though. And that's all. The only thing I'd probably want some advice on throughout all of this would be my, perhaps disproportionate, hatred of Tofu. Tofu had later said to the girl I'm still friends with and refuse to name for some arcane reason, "Hey, I tortured your friend for a few months. We're still cool, though, right?" And, well, there's the rage headache coming on again. You can see how I feel about it just from that. The things I'd do if I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the person in front of me was in fact Tofu would get me arrested for multiple counts of assault, and at the very least border on psychotic. I'm holding a grudge, I know that. I also know it's not healthy. What I don't know is whether it's reasonable or not. A bit outside the topic for this thread, but it's related to my first story, so I figured I'd ask. You guys have your heads on straight, I think I can expect a reasonable answer. |
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3:30 AM Jul 11