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Rant topic is for Rants 2; More Redundancy
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Topic Started: Sep 15 2012, 06:20 PM (14,413 Views)
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Hatsune Candy
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Dec 8 2012, 05:01 AM
Post #261
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The soul of a forgotten file
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Rant about my life I just like to point that people just straight up irritate me. If I've known you for more than a day, chances are that you've annoyed me at some point. Usually it's just something small and I'll forget about moments later, usually. But when it comes to people like those at my school, both teachers and students, I have just about had enough. It's hard to believe that so many irritating things could exist in one place. I'm almost certain it's not that bad compared to some other places, but I still hate it. First off, the kids here at this school are just soo stupid, it's always the simplest things that they don't get. In others words, someone will clearly state something and, enough though they're like right there listening to them, it'll completely slide over their heads.
For example, in the locker room at PE, there are sets of 4 or so small lockers and one big one. The big one being for during PE and the small ones being for each of the differen periods to store their PE clothes afterwards; it's always been explicitly stated to NEVER lock your stuff in the big locker after the period is over, so that the next period can use them. But of course, some people are assholes that don't give a damn and lock it anyways. And lately there's been some jerk locking the locker I use everyday. First few times around I just went up to one of the teachers and got them to open it with their universal key of sorts (it's a big set of keys that unlocks each and every one of the locker room's locks), after that, they stopped locking it for a while. I thought they had learned their lesson, but nooo, what they were really doing was saving up for their own lock. So now no one but them can fucking open it and I'm stuck being forced to carry my stuff with me all throughout PE. I look like a fucking idiot for Christ's sake! And, get this, I went up to teachers about the matter and they just fucking shrugged it off. Someone is breaking the school rules be locking one of the lockers with their own damn lock so that NO ONE can open it and they don't even fucking care! If there's one thing that really gets to me is when adults tell me that I can always come to them for help and then refuse to help when I actually do. The world is full of idiots, I swear.
And then there's the people that will get on me for stuff I can't help, for existing in the way that I do essentially. Let it be known that I have more than my share of issues (ADHD, asthma, possible OCD, inability to have kids, lack of empathy, 5 or so phobias, maybe even a split personality, and some other things I'd rather not ever name) and, to me, the worst thing you could do is act like those issues are my own god damn fault. I'm not responsible for the way I was born or the things I've experienced in the past that make me who I am today. I could name several examples of this, but for now I'll settle with just one. I didn't ever want to mention this, but I have an major problem when it comes to food. In other words, I have a huge irrational fear of trying new foods, and as such, my library of foods I'll eat is much more limited that most others'. From what I gather, its because of a food poisoning incident when I was like 3; but that's just what I've heard, it's been this way for as long as I remember.
Back to the point at hand, however, despite knowing that I can't help my fear, my parents will always get on me about it like it's my fault I'm so afraid. And I just to yell at them for it, I can't help it if I'm afraid of something. I can't help that I'm afraid of spiders. I can't help that I'm afraid of heights. I can't help that I'm afraid of talking to people. I can't help that I'm /somewhat/ afraid of the dark. And I most certainly cannot help that I'm afraid of trying new foods. SO STOP GETTING ON ME AS IF I ACTUALLY CAN FOR PETE'S SAKE. And this is only a small portion of the kinda crap I've been dealing with for my entire life. If you want more, just go back to the first rant topic and look up that rant about that kid 'Richard' Still having troubles with him btw, for those who remember who he is.
And since I've mentioned him I suppose should mention that I have a lot of enemies, and I mean A LOT of enemies. Oh, and guess what? All of them are because of the stupid mistakes I'm always making. Even that fucking Richard guy, the only real reason he's out to get me is because of my idiotic thinking that got his arms broken. It... It's just... I fucking hate myself is what this all comes down to. I. Fucking. Hate. Myself. Gonna stop there before get into a crying fit. I already got into one about it yesterday during my Skype call with Aero and I'd rather not get into another. Apologies if the spelling and/or grammar in this post is terrible, I normally proofread everything before posting, but I really didn't want to go over this one, understandably so.
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AquaTriden
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Dec 9 2012, 11:10 PM
Post #262
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Just Someone
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Life Rant, more of a depresing story then anything:
Spoiler: click to toggle I've been having a problem at school, like some of us do. During my English 11th class, there's these group of kids that are just the normal jerks of the school, the in-but-out crowd. And lately they've been taking up a lot of paper arts, like paperwads, spitballs, paper airplanes, and even ninja stars(which are pretty sharp for paper). And I've confronted the teacher about it and he says he'll fix it, 2 days will go by and nothing will happen again, but it'll start again, and worse then before. I know I shouldn't let it be like this, but I've been battling severe depression for the past...6 years, funny, it's when I came back from my private school to my current school... I've actually been having some terrible thoughts, like how it would be if I used suicide as a solution, wondering how my family would be, and what those jerks would think, like,"Good riddance, that little nerd was a useless prick anyway." And it's something I can't get out of my head, no matter what I try...I've tried medication, therapy, going to the principal and personally saying something, but it always ends up going back to before, the deep, dark, hole of depression that swallows me up when something bad happens. There is no feeling to describe when you put up a blade to your throat for a second and think of how fast it would be while your putting up the dishes...Anyway, there's my sob story, now I'm hoping I don't get a harsh comment saying something about their life being worse and I should deal with it, or something like that. Wow, finally telling someone this, and it's to a lot of people...Alright guys now's the end, and I hope you guys have a Merrier Christmas.
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Kumakaori
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Dec 10 2012, 01:11 PM
Post #263
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灰色狼
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*pokes*, *hugs*. You have stared into the abyss. See anything interesting ;)?
Glad you're still with us Triden. I don't have much encouragement for you, and if you've been battling it for as long as you have, you've probably heard every encouraging word in the book! So I'll not waste your time with some pre-packaged drivel.
... However, that runs me out of things to say =3=;;;. Hope to see you around~.
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Gaia
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Dec 10 2012, 03:39 PM
Post #264
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The Embodiment of Earth
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I'm glad to see you around, Triden. That's all I know. I'm glad you're back here.
I do hope that counts for something, and may you have a merry Christmas should I not see you until after the holidays.
I know this is a rants topic... But we usually try to cheer people up, no? A lot of people say not to respond to rants... But I usually can't help myself :/
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AquaTriden
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Dec 10 2012, 06:40 PM
Post #265
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Just Someone
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Thanks guys, I appreciate it. Your right about all the nice words Kuma, and it's still nice that you care, and Gaia, it's been so long I forgot about the rules to this. I'll try to become active again, just you wait, I'll be in the big circle of Epochers like I was(or might have)been in!!
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Minmin-Sama
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Dec 10 2012, 06:49 PM
Post #266
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BUNNY ON DA ROOOOF
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I'm more than happy to see you back with us, Triden~ I'm not entirely sure as to what I can say to make you feel better besides a general "I've been there" sentiment, which feels way too empty to me.
So, I hope you'll accept this hug instead! Minmin-Sama hugs Triden with all of her feels~ <3
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Grekiro
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Dec 13 2012, 12:17 AM
Post #267
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TF2 Trading Expert
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Tri, this is the exact point that I'm at right now. I can't even begin to describe it, but it's basically one of those things that you've got to bear, even at those points where it seems unbearable. Giving up is easy. Going on until you find what you're looking for in life is not. Hell, I'm still not sure what I want out of my life, and that seems to be contributing to what I could call a blackness in my soul. To re-iterate what I'm saying: PERSIST, and don't give in to the pressures of whatever others, or even your own mind torments you with.
Other than that, it's good to see you around these parts again.
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Gaia
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Dec 21 2012, 04:06 PM
Post #268
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The Embodiment of Earth
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The crap, man. So my brother tries to act nice. He asked me what I want for Christmas, knowing I don't like to bother anyone for anything, and also knowing that I have trouble deciding on gifts if I'm so inclined. So I decided on something small, pretty simple, and that wouldn't be too costly. Some of you know I have a Netbook, and while I'm content, I'm also eager to upgrade, even slightly, for a cheap amount.
My mother told me that if I could get her old laptop working, she'd let me keep it... The damn thing appears to have a dust-filled heat sink, a fan that's started degrading, and its battery outright DOESN'T work. I figured since it really wouldn't be too much trouble, and what I was asking for wasn't that much, I'd ask him to help me out with it.
He asks me if I need the thing... I said "not really." It's true, I don't need it, however he also knows my laptop is a little piece of crap, while meanwhile he's got a beast of a computer, with 2 massive monitors, both able to produce high resolutions.
I tell him I'd like to upgrade, and that my computer even has Google Chrome stop responding, Chrome being the least resource hogging of internet browsers. He tells me that I've probably just got too much shit going on my computer at one time... The only things I ever use are Skype and Chrome. If I'm doing something else, I close both. I even have my THEME disabled to get a little extra speed, because it actually takes resources to keep that going.
He boots up disk cleanup on my Netbook and leaves. So why did he ask me what I want again? I'll live without it, but really. Everyone got pissed at me last year because I didn't want anything. They KNOW I'm indecisive. Guess I'm damned if I do make a decision on what I want, huh?... But I'm also damned if I don't. At least I'm not a little greedy brat asking for 10 new games and a new custom-built computer every year from his parents. I know some people who'd do that.
I've used this crappy little thing for two years. I think it's time to upgrade. Even my brother thinks it's time to upgrade. Why in the world would he turn me away when he pesters me CONSTANTLY about why I want for Christmas?
I feel like I'm being kind of selfish here, but then I remember that I really didn't want anything in the first place.
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AquaTriden
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Dec 21 2012, 11:33 PM
Post #269
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Just Someone
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Work Rant
Spoiler: click to toggle So I'm sitting here backing the population of Arkansas' groceries, and then I get a complaint about the stuffing being on the bottom of the cart. Does it honestly matter that the stuffing is being grounded up MORE? I mean, It's already stupid little chunks, so why is it bad for it to get even more crushed? Also, my supervisor, who is 25 year old hag, has a,"bad day" because some crap I didn't really care about. So every day at 6 PM sharp we do a trash call, for all the departments to throw away their trash(I work at a grocer, so some of the stuff in the bags are disgusting...like month old left out fish)well our supervisor forgot to do it, so at 9:30, me and my co-worker(only 2 baggers stay till 10)rushed to get all the trash out to the trash container. After we got that all done, a cashier brought MORE TRASH that was left in the meat department by some idiot. With it being 9:52 and both of us having to leave at 10:00, we still had to bring the bascarts(baskets with wheels) into the store, it takes 3 minutes to bring in 6-8 bascarts because our store is to cheap to get a good piece of gear to help us bring stuff in, so we have to use this little blue hook and push with all our might UPHILL to the store. So I told our supervisor that we did NOT have enough time to get all the carts in, and she said, and I quote,"I have 8 minutes left on my job then I'm leaving." WHAT THE HELL?! She blows it off like it won't lose my job for this, yes I have a VERY HIGH chance of losing my job because the job of a bagger is highly sought in the life of a teenager, and we're all just easily replaced. I mean, hell we have a DEAF bagger, and he lasted longer then 5 other people(Not that I'm saying he can't do what we can't, he can read lips and handsigns, but people don't know that and get frustrated at him). So I left at 10:01(oooh, 1 minute late, last time that happened someone made a big deal of that, no joke, not like I get in 7 minutes early every time because we're so busy)and my co-worker starts pushing in carts, so I say,"We're off the clock, no point in doing this when they don't want us to get overtime." Ya, they like to do everything in their power to NOT GIVE OUT overtime. So now the lot is half done, the bathrooms were lightly cleaned because we had to rush them, the morning people that get in at 6 are gonna be pissed, and now I have to get to work in 13 and a half hours since I post this.
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Gaia
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Dec 23 2012, 01:31 AM
Post #270
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The Embodiment of Earth
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A Rant per day? I dunno. Recently I've been feeling a lot of angst at being young. I know I'm told to enjoy it, of still being catered to by adults who care about me... But to be honest, I've hated being catered to for some time now. I feel like by being cared for, I make everyone's lives a little more stressful. I want to get out of the house too I suppose. I feel trapped in this place, and if I'm being honest, my motivation to do anything is really shot.
I'm running out of creativity here. I'm stuck and it's bringing my mood down. I thought The holiday season was supposed to fill you with cheer. I was excited for this Christmas vacation... But I can't seem to enjoy anything. I wanted to get my license, but the irony is that... I can't get it now BECAUSE my motivation is shot. Yeah. I know I should just pick myself up and brush it off, but I can't. I feel like a little birdy in a cage right now. I'm told I have many freedoms, but right now, I feel like I've got none. Everything is a straight line. There are no branching paths. I don't have decisions to make.
Isn't this supposed to be the time where I'm independent?... Because independence is totally sitting in your room all day with nothing to do outside your house. Makes me want to throw up. None of my friends live nearby me and my parents work all day. They say this crap about being willing to pick me up and drive me to places: I know they don't have that sort of time, and if they do, they don't have the energy to waste on me. And even if they did, I'd still have remorse for asking them to do anything for me. I don't like doing that. It's not that it makes me feel like a needy brat, it's just... I don't know. I'm supposed to be becoming an adult soon, so why can't I feel like one? I feel like my life isn't in my hands right now.
All I can do is wait, and it sucks.
Edited by Gaia, Dec 23 2012, 01:32 AM.
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