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Perfection
Topic Started: Apr 5 2013, 08:51 AM (366 Views)
Hatsune Candy
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The soul of a forgotten file
To be perfect, one says
Is to be without flaw
Surely nothing is perfect
For everything is flawed

But flaws are so finicky
They are indeed
In your eyes you might have none
In others you might have tons
Who's to say which one is true?

It is a mystery
One we'll never understand
If perfection does not mean
To be without flaw
Then what might it be?
I don't think
We were ever meant to know
Edited by Hatsune Candy, Apr 13 2013, 10:58 PM.
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Queen of Ice
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Master of Darkness! Bwahaha!
I'm not very good at decoding poetry, so please forgive me for a lack of quality feedback in that regard.

The first verse, I feel, could probably be dropped, or moved. Starting with the second verse introduces the topic more quickly.

I'm guessing this is free verse, so I won't focus too much on flow or rhythm.

"To be perfect, one says
Is to be without flawed"

I believe "flawed" should be "flaws".

"So surely nothing is perfect"

I might drop the "so".

"There are indeed"

"There" might be "they?" I'm not sure on that one. This line as a whole I think could be reworked.

"It's a mystery, it is"

This may work better as, "It is a mystery".

---

Hope that helps ^^
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