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| Alex Zhu - Environmental Sustainability; The Republic of Iraq | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 1 2010, 09:48 PM (141 Views) | |
| Alex_Zhu | Dec 1 2010, 09:48 PM Post #1 |
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I decided not to put numbers on this when posting it, the format messes up when i use the numbers. I assure you that the actual draft has numbered lines. Committee: Environmental Subject: Environmental Sustainability Proposed by: Alex Zhu The Environmental Committee, Having Examined the rising prices of crude oil, Noting with deep concern the lack of legislation towards pollution and reducing consumption of non-sustainable fuel-sources, Congratulates the large advances already made in alternative energy, Understanding the lack of viable alternative energy resources is: - due to lacks of proper funding and, - an unwilling of the world to make such a huge change, - believing that such a shift would be time consuming and slow. Regrets the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, being that it spilled over 205 million gallons of oil into the ocean, and put thousands of residents of the southern United States in a status of unemployment, Observing the lax regulations upon oil companies in terms of safety and reliability, Calls upon the United Nations to: 1. Draft legislation towards reducing the consumption of crude oil, either through direct or indirect means, 2. Requests that regulations on oil companies such as BP, be tightened to improve safety and prevent accidents like the Gulf oil spill by, a. increasing fines for causing damage to the environment, b. and enacting stricter regulation towards maintenance and upkeep of owned structures and facilities, 3. Welcomes additional funding towards renewal, alternative energy sources such as solar, wind, and alternative fuels, 4. Creating Awareness about the dangers of using fossil fuels by, a. notifying nations of the benefits of investing into alternative technologies, b. creating incentive towards such investment, c. and gathering countries for conferences on the future of energy, 5. Confirms that to make drastic changes, there must be sacrifices as well, 6. Expressing its appreciation if all were followed to create a better, cleaner earth for all. |
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| Taj_Taher | Dec 3 2010, 11:27 AM Post #2 |
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APPROVED Good job. Next time, just attach your resolution to the post, that way I'll be able to see that you actually did number it, etc. Okay, your content is good, I just want to be nit picky about some things. There are supposed to be semicolons after each operative clause, and when you break each operative clause into the little lists/ subsections, just use a colon, otherwise it looks like you're changing to another clause. Also, your very first operative clause, the one about "direct or indirect means" I think you could specify as to what those indirect or direct means are. Just a few examples would be good. Other than that, all I can say is good job! |
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