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Abhinav Mulagada -Resolution 1
Topic Started: Dec 1 2010, 10:32 PM (334 Views)
Abhinav_Mulagada

Committee: Global Economics
Subject: Oil Supermajors and Multination Corporations
Proposed by: Republic of Iraq

The General Assembly,

1) Deeply concerned, the influence of oil supermajors and multination corporations have
2) greatly influenced the acts of undeveloped countries and some developed countries.
3) Emphasizing, that the UN further proclaims that oil supermajors start in developed countries
4) yet have an impact on underdeveloped countries, sometimes in a negative way
5) Observing more oil has caused the quality and oil development to go down
6) Considers that some demand for oil is coming from the government of greedy countries
7) Invites more countries to come up with ideas to reduce demand for oil
8) Considers that multination corporations are becoming too powerful
9) Expecting the UN to support the idea of less oil transportation
10) Fully believing in the idea that Iraq needs America to back off and to start negotiating with
11) IOC. Fully aware that the UN hasn’t taken any recent actions to support Iraq
12) Trusts that the UN and the rest of the world will help Iraq to replenish its economy
13) Believing that if multination corporations grow stronger, their power within the country will
14) Also rise; the confident mind of the UN will soon come back to haunt them
15) Welcoming in new ideas of how to control oil and multination corporations
16) draws attention to the environment, who are also in trouble, just like the underdeveloped
17) countries. Reminds the UN that while they are not helping underdeveloped countries, they
18) are also slowing down the development of oil, and how to reduce its use and effects
19) noting with deep concern that very countries are taking action to stop oil distribution
20) recalling that too much oil distribution by BP lead to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
21) requests to lower the amount of oil distribution to lesser the chances of a oil spill
22) taking into account that more oil may lead to more automotive sales, the chances of that
23) happening are slim when compared to how much of the environment will get affected by this
24) expresses its hope by urging countries to finding other ways to transport oil
25) realizing that oil supermajors are only going grow with more demand for oil, and more
26) countries turning towards automatic transportation (cars)
27) Declares the UN to make moves in lessening the chance of a oil spill, and being able to
28) control multination corporations by making sure they don’t get too much power
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Taj_Taher

REDO

Okay Abhinav, I can tell that you put some thought into this, and I think you just need organize it better. Take a look at the sample resolutions on the Oregon MUN website to see how it's done. Some of your preambulatory clauses and operative clauses kind of mix in. Near the end, you have a preambulatory clause, when it should really be at the beginning. Just remember that at the beginning, each preambulatory clause is an introduction to the issue at hand, they're all separated by commas, and the operative clauses are solutions to the issue, and they're all separated by semicolons. The entire resolution is ended with a period. Right now, you're just having formatting issues, and it's kind of hard to read. Next time, attach a copy of the resolution to the post. I'm sure that if it's organized a little better, it will make more sense.

As far as content goes, you might want to tone down how much you mention Iraq. Remember that this entire resolution is in the point of view of Iraq, but that this resolution is supposed to go and affect all the member states as a whole. It doesn't make sense to just mention Iraq, unless the topic was specifically about Iraq.

I think you also need some more solutions. Right now, I just see something about telling oil companies to lower distribution. That's alright, but you need some more, because that's more of an environmental appeal. If you could relate the solutions that pertain to Iraq to other countries around the world, then you could keep those solutions. Overall, I just see a lot of preambulatory clauses, and you need some clearly defined solutions.

Just take a look at how other people's resolutions have been formatted, or, once again, at the Oregon MUN website. I mean, that's where I learned how to do them. Your content and ideas are good; you just need to organize them.
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Abhinav_Mulagada

Committee: Global Economics
Subject: Oil Supermajors and Multination Corporations
Proposed by: Republic of Iraq

The General Assembly,

1)Reaffirming its resolution, the influence of oil supermajors and multination corporations have
2) greatly influenced the acts of undeveloped countries and some developed countries,
3)Accepting the fact that oil supermajors are growing despite the negative influence on
4)devloping countries,
5)Observing more oil has caused the quality and oil development to go down
6)Expressing our satisfaction in the sales of multinational corporations; and how they spread far
7)around the world,
8)Fully aware of the economic role multinational corporations play in countries, like Iraq, who
9)heavily depends on oil,
10)Considers that multination corporations are becoming too powerful
11)Alarmed observing that the UN hasn’t spoken on behalf on reducing oil transportation, by a
12)small number,
13)Fully believing in the idea that Iraq needs America to back off and to start negotiating with
14)IOC,
15)Believing that if multination corporations grow stronger, their power within the country will
16)Also rise; the confident mind of the UN will soon come back to haunt them
17)Accepting in new ideas of how to control oil and multination corporations
18)draws attention to the environment, who are also in trouble, just like the underdeveloped
19)countries.
20)noting with deep concern that very countries are taking action to stop oil distribution
21)recalling that too much oil distribution by BP lead to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
22)requests to lower the amount of oil distribution to lesser the chances of a oil spill
23)taking into account that more oil may lead to more automotive sales, the chances of that
24)happening are slim when compared to how much of the environment will get affected by this
25)expresses its hope by urging countries to finding other ways to transport oil
26)realizing that oil supermajors are only going grow with more demand for oil, and more
27)countries turning towards automatic transportation (cars)
28)Declares the UN to make moves in lessening the chance of a oil spill, and being able to
29)control multination corporations by making sure they don’t get too much power
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