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The All-in-One Stop for Movie Trailers
Topic Started: Aug 30 2008, 01:48 AM (2,686 Views)
Belpowerslave
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Alright, looks like the Super Bowl has unleashed a slew of new trailers. Not watching the game, I missed all of them but Dave's Trailer page is keeping me "up to date". Time for me to tell you what sucks dick. Let's get started...

Angels and Demons: Haven't seen the first one, but I hear it's alright(this one looks alright too). More than anything else, I love how Tom Hanks and Ron Howard are pissing the Christians off to no end. Makes me laugh almost as much as Phelps getting caught with pot. There's just something about watching iconic figures doing stuff that 99.9% of the world disapproves of...especially when 99.9% of the world had originally loved these people.

GI Joe: Alright, I've gotta admit, just the mere idea of a live action GI Joe movie had me cringing...but shit, that short-ass trailer makes it look awesome. Directed by Steven Sommers? Sign me up.

Land of the Lost: Honestly, it looks pretty good. Not everyone is a Ferrel fan though....

Race to Witch Mountain: Fuck man, another movie with kids as the lead characters? When will this bullshit finally end?

Year One: Looks alright, wouldn't mind seeing more.

Transformers: RotF - Alright, can't wait to see that uppity bitch Megan Fox shaking her tits on the screen in between the 3 and half minutes of actual Transformer footage...

Fast and Furious: Suck and My Dick.

Bel
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DarcSeven
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I'm gonna sing the DOOM Song.
Saw the trailer for 12 rounds. My goodness, I think they gave away the ending. Oh well, I guess it pays to be the champ, and this movie will be no different that his last one. At least they haven't given Batista a movie yet. *shudder*

Big Man Japan- Brilliant! I already hate this movie!

Chocolate- This on the other hand should at least be fun. I'll probably fast forward to the fight scenes.
Edited by DarcSeven, Feb 2 2009, 04:40 PM.
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DarcSeven
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I'm gonna sing the DOOM Song.
Astro Boy- Actually looks very cool. And he's wearing clothes! 0.0 Anyway, I hope this movie can prove that there can be good anime adaptations... UNLIKE THAT OTHER THING!(DBE) >.<

Where the Wild things are- Also looks cool. I remember reading the book so both of these movies are kind of a nostalgia trip for me.
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Belpowerslave
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I've heard of Astro Boy but don't really know much about him...the trailer does look alright though. Done by Imagi too, the guys who did TMNT, so it ought to be good quality.

Man, there's a *lot* of new trailers lately!

Bel
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Belpowerslave
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Dave's Trailer Page is now updated with a *shitload* of clips from the new Woverine movie, for those interested...

Bel
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Belpowerslave
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Alright, another huge batch of trailers has been released...and I, somehow, managed to get the energy to not only watch them all but I thought I'd go ahead and tell you which ones suck dick...so you can run out and pay $10 to watch it, then come back to the forums and talk about how hard it sucked. ;) Here we go...

Yesterday Was A Lie - I'll admit that I have a softspot for the 30s to 50s period pieces, and though this one is sort of a warped bit of that time period(think FallOut 3's 1950s) it still looks alright. The Lesbians are going to love this one, every female in the cast screams it. I don't know that I buy the blonde chick as a hard edged and gritty detective, but the reviews say it's alright...of course, seems like the reviews for *every* fucking indie film ever made say the movies are alright...

Gooby - This has got to be one of the most amateurish pieces of shit I've seen in a long, long time. This is beyond horrible...and I can imagine the movie actually being much, much worse than this shitty trailer. Wow.

Standup 360 - Comedians...on film, in theaters. The punch line is that they say they're doing this so you can avoid the "high cost" of going to a comedy club....by paying $10+ to see it on the big screen. Yeehaw.

The Big Shot Caller - Some looser with eyes like the guy in Constantine looses his job and decides that being a mambo dancer is the way to go. Right.

Ghosts of the Heartland - Another 30s to 50s period piece about some asian detective making really bad oneliners and just, in general, being hard to follow. I don't think this will be anything...

Aliens in the Attic - A dick in my ass.

Big Man Japan - So, in order to get away from the rampant comparisons to softcore pornography they show us this clip where the long penis guy attacks large Japanese man, large Japanese man knocks him out and then...wait for it....wait for it...*shoves a stick IN TO HIS ASS*. I shit you not.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - Though I feel they've gone WAY too far over the top(read Mummy 3, Men in Black II, etc) I can't help but giggle at Hank Azaria making fun of Vader. "Are we going to the Opera? I don't think so..."

Land of the Lost - Another film where Will Ferrel acts like Will Ferrel. Being a Will Ferrel fan, I think it'll be great...but that may just be me.

The Princess and the Frog - Wow, the KKK is going to be angry with Disney on this one. Looks like the white wash finally ran out and they have finally done a movie that doesn't consist of a 100% all-white cartoon cast. Of course, we're going to see complaints, and rightfully so imo, about how the bad guy in the movie is a witch doctor and not a sorcerer or some shit...because, you know, all African American's are in to Voodoo...

Terminator: Salvation - Call me old fashioned, but I really liked just imagining what the Earth was like after Judgment Day, and I used the few glimpses we saw of it in T1-T3 to build that imagining. Just based on what I've seen of the 2 billion trailers WB has put out for this film, it seems far more/too advanced than what we were lead to believe in the previous films. I *know* I have seen both Brian Green and his Asian lady friend in the trailers(from the TV show), though they are not listed in the credits for the film...

Public Enemies - Get ready for a wild night of sex with your wife/girlfriend after this one as I promise you she wants to go see it for Depp and Bale alone...and will be imagining them the entire night she's fucking you(not a bad deal, especially as the film itself looks to be pretty good...and done by Michael Mann, it ought to be a fucking slam dunk).

Whatever Works - Larry David does his best "old eccentric Jewish male" impression for this quirky tale about what Larry David does outside of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Being a Curb fan, I'd see it...but probably wait for it on disc.

Year One - God help I think it looks fucking great. The best part has to be "So when do you get off?", I'm a slave, so never, "Oh yeah, of course".

Humpday - Take your really homophobic or over the top religious friend to this one, guaranteed for all sorts of fun as you watch them squirm....of course, you'll squirm a little too...it's all part of the ride. ;)

District 0 - Pretty wild stuff about some Alien Nation-like invaders who show up and try to peacefully live with humans. It doesn't seem to be working out...can you imagine?

Bel
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DarcSeven
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I'm gonna sing the DOOM Song.
Belpowerslave
May 13 2009, 09:46 PM
The Princess and the Frog - Wow, the KKK is going to be angry with Disney on this one. Looks like the white wash finally ran out and they have finally done a movie that doesn't consist of a 100% all-white cartoon cast. Of course, we're going to see complaints, and rightfully so imo, about how the bad guy in the movie is a witch doctor and not a sorcerer or some shit...because, you know, all African American's are in to Voodoo...
!
Hand drawn animation! I thought Disney shot that in the face. Very nice.
And yes, I am pissed off about the villain...

I can't believe Baron Zamedi is still alive! I killed that motherfucker, like, three times in Goldeneye. Why won't he die? ;)
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sheath
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Brad Pitt is a Basterd, I like it. Terrintino is a middle school paper quality writer, but this looks good. Go figure.
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Belpowerslave
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Rather than tell you how shitty most of these new trailers make their movies look, I figured I'd let SA do it:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/current-movie-reviews/preview-fall09.php

Bel
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sheath
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Awesome, I'm not sure how the found the energy to write about all of that tripe, but then I guess they're making money doing it.
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Belpowerslave
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SA is a solid humor site, this is just what they do.

I will mention that the new Nightmare on Elm Street looks pretty good! To me, the only two good NoES films were the first one and then New Nightmare...

Bel
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DarcSeven
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I'm gonna sing the DOOM Song.
The new Prince of Persia trailer on YouTube

Yes, YouTube. The trailer isn't up on Dave's page just yet. It looks pretty cool actually. Besides the complete lack of Persians, that is.
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Belpowerslave
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I don't know man...it really seems like an Uwe Boll film or something. :(

Bel
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sheath
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I have been, and remain, non-sequitur
But, that chick was jumping out of water, I mean, dude!
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DarcSeven
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Belpowerslave
Nov 3 2009, 10:27 AM
I don't know man...it really seems like an Uwe Boll film or something. :(

Bel
Well remember, I thought that Max Payne looked good from the trailer too... :D
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Belpowerslave
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http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi342754585/

Clash of the Titans trailer. Wow, do we have another 300-quality production on our hands? Looks like it!

Bel
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sheath
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sheath
Jun 1 2009, 02:32 PM
Brad Pitt is a Basterd, I like it. Terrintino is a middle school paper quality writer, but this looks good. Go figure.
I actually saw Incongruous Basterds the other night. While I found it amusing, the ending totally blew me out. With how stupid people are today I am very sure this movie is going to mess with people's minds as to what actually ended WWII.
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LoneCrusader
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The ending caught me off guard too, all I knew about the movie was that it was loosely based on a real military group. I had not imagined that they would take such liberties with the facts. All in all, it was entertaining for a bit.
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Belpowerslave
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http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/bitchslap/

Why is it SO.Horrible?

Bel
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sheath
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Too much photoshopped backgrounds? Or maybe it's because too many people have brains the size of peas when it comes to entertainment. Who knows really.
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