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If I Could I'd Wish It All Away; Tag: Martin
Topic Started: Sep 27 2011, 06:52 AM (601 Views)
Martin O'Connell
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Crystalline Skeletal Structure/ Explosive Crystal Projectiles
Martin's words cut off in time for another awkward silence to fill the tense air between the two men. Martin knew what was to come next, it wasn't exactly hard to to see that what Martin had said made Roberto mad. In all honesty, it was something out of his control, pent up emotion can only be contained for so long, and with the world adding to it's load, it wasn't a surprise that this had happened.

Martin listened to what Roberto said, and his stance quickly changed. His friend's words were harsh, loud, and full of a dormant emotion he had yet to see come out in Robert. Martin's arms had fallen and his brow narrowed closer as he stared Roberto down. It was true, Martin didn't know what the X-Men stood for, not fully, but he had an idea, and this idea was along the right lines and enough to get him to stick around. But Roberto still damned everything they represented, as if the years he had dedicated meant nothing. Martin was disgusted.

"How can you say that?" He hissed back as he walked from the wall and reduced the distance between him and his friend, facing him with a stance prepared for anything, "I don't want someone to sit here and cry with me, you asked me if I was okay!" He exclaimed as he pointed to his friend, his finger almost making contact with the Brazilian's chest. "How the hell can you even expect to continue on when you're talking like that?" He paused and brought his hand down in a vertical slash, dismissing any opportunity for Roberto to reply, "This!" He screeched, "Cannot be all the X-Men are!" He turned away as he sobbed loudly, wiping his cheeks and eyes to avoid having the appearance of tears.

"You befriended me, and you say you're trying to help me escape this hardship, and obviously it didn't work, how can it for you?" Martin's chest heaved, "You're the reason I question what an X-Man is, you!" He said pointing back at him, a fury in his voice suddenly appearing. "How the fuck can you talk about strengthening my resolve when yours is no where to be found!" He yelled accusingly, "If someone like you had lived this life, and it's beaten you down, what hope does a man like me have!?" Martin's voice rose even louder, his insecurity and one of the many roots of this breakdown appearing, "You have the ability to change lives, and you choose to waste it!" He yelled.

Martin's mind swirled, a mixture of rage and confusion, regret and doubt. The swell, the rush of the screams, it all came soaring out from his insides as regurgitated emotion, begging to be heard and seen. Was he looking for sympathy? Someone to blame for his troubles? Guidance? Even Martin couldn't answer these questions.

Before he knew he was doing it, his hand had smacked against the wall as he turned from Roberto, tears falling from his cheek as his head slumped down. He clenched his teeth hard, sobs escaping from this throat even as he tried to hold them down. "I couldn't change it...I couldn't save him, and you tell me there's nothing more?!" He yelled, his loud voice muffled as he spoke toward the wall. "God dammit, I couldn't save him..." He spoke out quieter then before, his hand slipping from the wall as he collapsed into it, his shoulder catching it as he slid down, plopping onto the ground, one leg stretched out and the other propped up supporting his arm who's hand held his falling head. Tears strung along his cheek, down along his hand, and fell onto the ground below. Martin sobbed heavily, not knowing what to do with himself, not knowing how to act, just simply not knowing what to do. That's what it all boiled down too: How to act against seemingly insurmountable odds.

"There's got to be more," He sobbed, "There has to be something worth all the sorrow, all the sadness, we just have..." Martin's voice dimmed to hush, "We just have to keep fighting..." The words left his mouth before the break down was complete and Martin burst into tears, quiet, muffled sobs into his arm bouncing from the wall. What hope did he have if other X-Men had already given up? Did he need power? Numbers? How could one group bring about change when the world beats them down? The breakdown was complete, all that was left to be seen was how Roberto would react.
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Sunspot
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When Martin got in his face Roberto's eyes flared violently glowing orange as Martin accused him of wasting his potential. "Waste it, WASTE IT!" Roberto shot back, for a second it had looked as if Martin was going to attack him, part of him wanted him to. He would've much rather preferred a fight rather than the conversation he'd found himself suckered into. "I've given my blood, my sweat, my tears, MY FRIENDS to this cause!" Roberto stated almost shouting as he focused his angry stare on Martin. "I've been fighting this good fight since was fifteen years old." Roberto said feeling the need to remind him that he had been doing this a lot longer than he had.

"And I'm still here, even though I'm not even sure I see a point to it all anymore. I'm still here." Roberto said unflinching when he saw Martin smack the wall. "And you want me to let you in on a little secret Marty." Roberto said matching Martin's accusatory gaze with his own. "I don't think we're going to win. I don't think that one day all of our struggling, our fighting, our sacrifice will pay off and we'll know peace, and everyone will hold hands and sing kumbayah." Roberto said a sinister sarcasm to his tone.

"Hell, after all this time I'd be stupid to think that." Roberto said throwing his hands up in the air as he calmed down. His eyes returning to their regular light hazel color. "After all this time the only reason I keep doing what I do the only reason I continue to fight the good fight...is because it's the right thing to do." Roberto said looking up to the sky for a second, and taking a deep breath before saying anything else. "How I chose to deal with it all...is my business." Roberto said defending his drinking, and partying. "What I do is the way I've decided to deal with this world....this hateful, spiteful world. That has known nothing but blood, and violence since mankind started walking up right."

Roberto said showing Martin briefly that his faith in mankind, and damn near non existent. By that point Martin had sat down leaning up against the wall. Muttering something about his inability to help his brother. "What you gotta realize friend is that in this line of work. He's only going to be the first of many, I'm sorry if I'm the first person to tell you that. Try as we might, we can't save everyone. So I suggest that you pour yourself a drink like me, and celebrate the ones you can save, because true victories are few and far between...in our line of work." Roberto said, his drunken state not allowing him to sugar coat anything. He was being completely honest, and speaking from the heart. What Roberto was saying to him, was what he truly felt.
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Martin O'Connell
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Crystalline Skeletal Structure/ Explosive Crystal Projectiles
His sobbing had quieted, and his breathing returned to a louder, but calmed state. Martin looked up from his crouched form and gave a dead, disgusted glare. "Don't talk about my brother like that" He said behind gritted teeth. It made him want to attack Roberto, to kill him, but Martin wouldn't do such a thing, even in such a broken down state, the mutant could restrain himself. But not much longer, he didn't want to snap. Tomas had always helped control his anger, not that it was outright noticeable, but nights like these brought out the worst in the Almost X-Man, and Martin didn't like it.

Still, he brought himself from the ground and took a deep breath, a tear streaking down his face from his left eye. "I bet your friends loved the fact that your a drunk.." Martin spoke out of anger, "the only reason your friend's deaths don't matter, is because you refuse to give it meaning!" For being the sober one, Martin wasn't handling this well at all. He didn't mean to say what he said, but it fell out, and now that it was out in the open, he had to stand by his words.

"Jesus!" He yelled, looking to the sky and placing his hands on his hips, "How the fuck can you even live with yourself feeling like that?" Martin turned toward his friend and walked closer, "I think it's bullshit!" He exclaimed, his breath under control, "You're full of shit" The man spoke it strongly, meaning every word.

Shaking his head as a hand ran through his black lock, Martin sighed. "I know you didn't feel like that in the beginning...You're friends...their deaths meant something...and if you think they didn't, you've done them the biggest injustice possible" Martin rubbed at the dried tears on his cheek, a quiet breeze blowing past them int he silence, "If Sharmaine died, you'd care...I've seen the way she looks at you, and I know you noticed too" Martin walked to Spot and took a place beside him, looking out into the street.

He had found his resolve, the sadness deep within his heart heavy, weighing on his stomach, but Martin kept standing, taking a deep breath that broke into a shaky exhale, still holding back tears he had to cry. Martin hung his head, scoffing at the events of the night. "So much for a fun night out" he said, partly feeling guilty for making it so solemn. Martin hoped that Roberto would understand, though he figured he probably wouldn't. Martin was done, and turned to leave, but looked over his shoulder at his friend, "If you'd have been the one to die, I'd keep fighting in your name, I'd make it mean something, and would try my hardest, and I'm sure your friends, gone or not, would too" He turned and walked off, shoving his hands in his pockets and making his way around a corner.
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Sunspot
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Robert couldn't help but sigh, when Martin seemed to take a offense at the way he talked about the death of his brother. He didn't mean anything by it, but it was hard to explain to people that a death of a close one, wasn't much different than the death of well anyone innocent. Every innocent person who died had loved ones who missed them when they were gone. He couldn't blame him though, after all he felt the same way about his father. None the less, Martin took offense, and once again it looked as if Martin wanted to hit him, Roberto's body tense up reading itself to be struck at if it was going to happen.

But Martin controlled himself, and not punch was thrown. But what he said stung more than any punch would have. Martin straight up called him a drunk, and although on a mental level Roberto already knew that he did in fact have a drinking problem. It did hurt him a bit when people, his friends especially called him out on it. But Roberto being Roberto he didn't react in a way that would let Martin know that he had been hurt by what he said. He instead reacted like he typically did when put in hostile situations angerly. It make it even worse Martin decided to make it seem like Roberto didn't really care about the deaths all off of the friends he had lost over the years.

"You don't know anything about me!" Roberto said harshly, almost screaming. "How dare you say I think the death of my friends are meaningless!" He spat clinching his fist out of sheer anger. "Making my friends death mean something is the reason I still muster of up the willpower to keep doing this thing!" Roberto added. "And I drink, because helps...it's the only thing that I have found that can, even if only just for a moment make me NOT think about all of the friends, and family that I have been hurt doing this little crusade of ours!" Roberto said this time it was him slamming the wall. "Don't ever say that I act like my friends death of meaningless..EVER!" He screamed at Martin's back as he walked away from him. What he had said, had made him feel like a piece of shit, he was angry. "Fuck you!" Roberto muttered under his breath, before turning around and heading in the other direction Martin's words having left him almost literally fuming.
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