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| Jina, Dang | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 1 2013, 10:44 PM (1,162 Views) | |
| Warrior Legend | Jan 1 2013, 10:44 PM Post #1 |
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PLAYER INFORMATION NAME:Jarrel CONTACT: jarrel.turner@yahoo.com HOW YOU FOUND US: Bing.com OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE: None RULES CODE:Blackbird CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: http://ezinearticles.com/?Samurai-Sword-Facts&id=547759 Swords) http://listverse.com/2009/04/20/10-unusual...nd-subcultures/ [align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align] BASIC INFORMATION CANON OR ORIGINAL: Original AFFILIATION: Morlocks FULL NAME: Jina Dang CODENAME: Warrior Legend NICKNAMES: Ice Princess, Ice Maiden, Snow Flake or yuki no hana (Snow Flower) CURRENT AGE: 24 DATE OF BIRTH: 1988, April 7th MARITAL STATUS: single SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual BASE OF OPERATIONS: Morlock City TIME AT INSTITUTE: N/A REGISTERED WITH SHIELD: N/A HOMETOWN: Hokkaido, Sapporo Japan KNOWN RELATIVES: Keiko Dang (Mother Deceased) Ryu Dang (Farther Deceased) Yuri Dang (Sister Missing since Apocalypse, is presumed dead.) PHYSICAL APPEARANCE HEIGHT: 5”3 BUILD: Thick, athletic EYES: Brown HAIR: Icy Blue, pixy style with curls DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Her skin is a snow white, and she has a small scar under her left eye CLOTHING STYLE: Bosozoku style of clothing, she also likes to wear mini skirts and slightly baggy pants, with a white tank top. UNIFORM: N/A POWERS GENERAL DESCRIPTION: Thanks to Jina’s love of snow she has the ability to form ice. Much like Ice man, however she can’t make an ice bridge and slide on it. Jina has the ability to make weapons Specifically Katana’s and Tanto blades. Thanks to ice already being a solid object, Jina merely uses a metamorphosis technique to create her weapons. These weapons can range to different strengths but all of them can be broken if enough strength or if heat is applied. Jina also has the ability to create ice storms, which freezes anything it comes into contact with. The radius for this ability is about 10 in length and width. However, it is contingent on the amount of moister or water supply in the given area. Weakness: Over Heating: For whatever reason Jina’s body tends to overheat, because her mood swings are effecting how she replies to others in most cases, she can get into disputes with others; if outside of her habitat for more than four hours, this does not affect her overall health but rather her mood and ability to focus on her attack. Overheating also causes her to seek the nearest cool area if possible, and she may even start to make a cool down unknowingly. Self Dehydration: Because the human body is mostly made of 75% water. Jina can take her 75% and use it. However doing so will cause her to go into severe dehydration and plausibly kill her, unless treated immediately for dehydration. Lack of Moister/Water: For some strange reason Jina really doesn’t need much moister to generate ice, but it is required that at least 1% or less (which is 0.4%)of moister be present. The Lack of moister also contributes to the strength and development of her weapons, in other words, if the moister is extremely high the compactness of the ice weapon will be high. The less moister in the air, results in weaker weapons. If there is absolutely no moister in the air, Jina can remove her on body water and conform it into ice, but at an extremely high risk to her body. Absolutely no moister or water will result in power-loss temporarily. PERSONALITY: Jina is calm, collective in the eyes of others who don’t know her at all. In reality she just being observant and sizing up people to see if she can trust people or not, usually its neutral. Thus making her a little unapproachable. Though she’s a typically nice person, She tends to stray from groups of people, even though she wishes to be apart of their social structure. Since Jina tends to spend most of her time in -12 degree weather, she doesn’t have the closeness that the other Morlocks embodied. Making Jina isolated from the others, which also makes her somewhat indifferent in terms of relationships. Despite not being around her fellow people on a constant basis, and what incursions may come up; does not mean she won’t care for them, she is willing to duel to the death for any of them. Whether she knows them personally, or down right dislikes them. She will fight for them, or bring a cold hell if someone harms them. Jina also has a high intolerance to be around those who think they are high and mighty because of their powers, or the fact they are normal people. When ever she is around such people, she won’t hesitate to take a shot to knock them down a peg or two, or even three. Those who are above her in rank in the Morlocks, are not exempt from Jina’s intolerance. However there hasn’t been much problem because she only truly comes out of her room to go on patrols; therefore eliminating high chances of her crossing paths with anyone who she considers to be high and mighty. When Jina does come out of her environment that she prefers, she instantly enters into a withdraw state. Resulting in her becoming very moody, often giving angry “What the heck do you want” Looks, or she might actually say it if she is mistrusting of that person. Jina might even ignore a person’s good gesture or will towards her if she is moody enough. She’s been known to bicker with others of her attitude; however she has rarely engaged a person in combat without probable cause. Jina has a very strong up bringing in the Samurai code or Bushido (Way of the Warrior), which is why she serves under Callisto loyally perhaps more so than others. This is only because she recognizes Callisto as Shogun (General) of the Morlocks. However, she doesn’t like how Callisto always runs things. Jina also believes that the Morlocks should hold more honors amongst themselves, and more discipline in terms of military fighting. Do to lack of trust in others she doesn’t always voice this publicly. As someone who should follow the code, she should believe that being a coward is shameful. Which she does, agree to an extent. Certain situations may require one to flee, something Jina has done at the beginning of Apocalypse. For this reason and this reason alone, Jina thinks that only those who are truly willing to fight should be on the front-lines, not those who can and would runaway even if their life depended on it. Even though she herself has trouble finding the willingness to be on the front-lines herself, she will stand up with this believe with a Katana in hand. Despite Her strong up bringing in the Samurai codes Of Honor. Jina has broken the codes of honor that had been instilled in her on more than one occasion. Because, of this; Jina holds herself in low regards as a warrior, and often enters a period of self-loathing. She believes by serving Callisto and the Morlocks, she will help them make a better life for themselves she will gain a new permanent home. HISTORY: In the beginning Jina lived an ordinary life as a typical Japanese girl. She was a straight A student early on, and was considered to be a prodigy. No one realized that her controlling biological farther, was forcing the girl to study relentlessly, and often beat her when he felt she wasn’t studying well enough. Out fear for her safety, Jina’s mother stayed silent, in some cases she even aided in the physical abuse. Eventually Jina would voice the abuse to a trusting adult, but in the end the person was brought off; Leaving Jina to be nearly beaten to death. To hide the abuse she was kept out of school for nearly two months under the pretense that she had the flu, and ammonia. After that she never truly trusted anyone again. The incident also caused her to become some what antagonistic towards others and withdrawn from other kids her age. At first teachers ignored it as a simple reaction to her grandmother’s death. However, when she suddenly cut her own hair with a pair of scissors, and began showing a strange affiliation to cold or frozen objects in her school work. Complete contrast to her average paintings, drawings, and writings, which where warm and caring. Seeing, and realizing the problem, several teachers banded together; and sent a case worker to inspect the Dang household. It was doing this time that white blemishes were appearing on Jina face and arms. They had been appearing for nearly a month, but Mrs. Dang had been applying make-up to keep them hidden. When the case worker, came for the inspection without warning the case worker immediately noticed the blemishes. At first the worker was going to remove the child under suspicion of abuse, but instead was talked out of it by Jina’s father, who had revealed that Jina was inflicted with albinism; A lie that the Case worker believed and accepted. The case-worker concluded that the girl was highly self aware and needed consoling. That night Jina found herself at mercy of her father’s hand. Tired of the abuse and in a high state of stress, Jina’s ability came forth and froze her farther, but didn’t kill him. It was the first time Jina had been able to activate her powers; it would not be the last time she would use them. By 4th grade Jina body had been turned completely snow white. Too afraid to touch her daughter, Mrs. Dang stopped applying the make-up. Forcing Jina to go to school without any type of ambiguity, as a result she was bullied by everyone that saw her, even the teachers treated her indifferent. Seeing this, a pervert took advantage of JIna’s situation. Believing that no one would believe her if she every came out and said he attacked her, he attempted to abduct Jina. However, he soon found himself frozen nearly to death. It was then that Jina’s ability was discovered by others. The school panic realizing that a mutant was amongst them. Parents afraid that their children could be frozen, opted that Jina be removed from school. The school board complied, and removed her. Her parents also decided to send her way with a nanny to hide their embarrassment. Up until that Jina was still the families “Golden Child”. Until she was 14, Jina stayed at her family’s cabin in the country side of Hokkaido Island. There she met Yuan( Honorific Name. Warrior Legend), her master in the Samurai arts, and unofficial adoptive father. He instilled discipline, and a sense of belonging in Jina, He also taught her how to control her powers threw self-discipline. She also met the first love her life, Anna Wong, who showed her that being different doesn’t matter when it comes to love. For first time in her life she found some happiness. However, her father would come to realize the benefits of having a mutant daughter. More, and more mutants where appearing. To gain publicity and prestige as mutant sympathizers; Ryu Dang decided to announce that his oldest daughter was a mutant, and was committed to the cause of curing her, and others like her. Of course this was lie, Ryu Dang simply wanted to raise money and spoil it, without truly looking for a cure. He also profited on the fact that Jina could control her powers, which kept optimistic heads from imprisoning her. Despite being back with her family and getting to know her five year old sister Yuri, who wasn’t suffering the same abuse that Jina once did. Jina was relatively unhappy and spent most her time shut away from the rest of the world. In part do to overheating, but she was very anti-social, and only confided in her master and Anna, whom she was beginning to start a relationship with. However Jina was forbidden to have any type of same sex relationship by her father, in order to keep the families honor. Jina ignored him and continued with her relationship for another 4 years. By this time Jina had been reinstated in school. Thanks to Yuan and her own will to learn, she had stayed up to date on her schooling and was able to graduate from high school. However the Nation was weary of letting those with obvious mutations into schools. As a binary effect Jina was denied campus enrollment to Seinan Gakuin University, in fact she wasn’t even allowed near the campus. To stay face with those who truly sympathized with mutants, the government allowed her to be enrolled online. Do to a long distance relationship, and the fact that Jina was busy with studies, Anna ended the relationship and started dating someone else. The breakup was devastating to Jina, but she wouldn’t let keep her down emotionally. It wasn’t long, that she met Yuki who had felt the same way Anna did towards Jina; within months the two where dating exclusively. Eventually they would become engage, but by then Apocalypse was edging the world. Realizing that His daughter was still engaging in a homosexual lifestyle, this time more exclusively, He set out to sabotage the relationship. He wouldn’t have the chance to do so as Apocalypse was fully upon the world by then. He was the first family member to die in the chaos, brought on by the Ring of Fire. Jina held no animosity for the man that had once abused her, however when she realized that Yuan had been killed while trying to evacuate villager in the countryside she was devastated, Even more so when she couldn’t find Yuri, Yuki and her mother who where together at the time. She would eventually find the half burnt body of her mother and lover, but not her sister. Desperate to find the only person left with any meaning in her life. Jina roamed the decaying land searching for her, but ended up fleeing from the lava instead. From then on Jina was like every other civilian trying to get off of the island to somewhere safe, which was no where. Fed up and ready die, Jina was readied herself to take her own life, until a mothers distress for her own daughter, about to perish from lava sprouted Jina into action. Remembering her own sister, through the girl in peril, Jina used her abilities to freeze the lava long enough for the girl to be rescued. She would use her abilities from that point on to help her fellow countrymen survive. It was difficult, but Jina huffed threw those dark days. Though she would more than likely never find her sister’s body; Jina holds on to a small hope that her sister may be alive. It was that small glimmer of hope, which leads her to come to America. With no money to get their in the first place, Jina smuggles herself to the country hoping that someone there would help. No such luck. Too many people were still reeling from Apocalypse to even care. Soon Jina found herself a product of the streets. Stealing and coning her way threw the next two years. Dissembling everything Yuan had taught her. As she struggled to survive in the back ally ways of New York, Jina found that people much like her where living underground safe from the cruel gaze of humanity. Feeling annihilated by surface dwellers, JIna decided to give living underground with a bunch of strangers a shot. Though she still keeps those around at a distrusting gaze, Jina is slowly finding a new home. DURING APOCALYPS During Apoclypse Jina had been living in the country for quite some time, but had been reeled in by her real family. Who where trying to embezzel money , while posing as mutant supportors trying to find a cure. As the months dragged on, unbeknowest to everyone, lurking right around the corner was Apocalypse. Jina having elemental powers felt the violent change as it happened. She however, unable to understand what was going on untill the Pafcic Ring Of Fire, rared it's ugly head unto Japan. Jina fearing for her sister and lover, she rushes to go find them, but is quickly derailed by lava flow. This did not stop her from searching for them threw out the city of Hokkaido. After much hardship, and dealing with lava which she helped slow down so people can escape to safety. She locates her mother, and Yuki. Both dead do to severe burns caused by spreading fires within the area, They had fled to the countryside hoping it would be safer, only to realize that it was just as bad if not worse on the countryside. She sat there looking at the burnt body of her lover for hours, before being forced away by lava flow, and on her masters par for forcing her to leave. Fearing for his pupil;s safety as well as the local villgers on the countryside, Yaun did his best to evacuate the area by himself. This led to him being caught in the lava as he tried to safe a group of villagers from being burned alive. Jina witnessing this lashed out to no avial. In the end she was wondering around in the city, untill she realized that her sister may still be alive. Thanks to the shocks of Yuki's and Yaun's deaths. Jina completely forgot about her sister. With hope that the only person with what little meaning to herlife remained alive. She began scowering the city for the couple of days looking for Yuri. Each time she came close to even picking up a hint on where Yuri might be located. She was either forced off by scared fellow countrymen, lava or any other catastrophic event occuring at the time. Eventually she could give up for the time being, and just focus on surviving. By the time Apoclypse ended Jina had her fair share of misery. Having to fight off not the choas around her and what it entailed, but her own power loss. Threw out the entire ordeal she had been overheated the entire time. Her powers required cool areas, and it was driving her near insane because of it. Some how she manage it. POST-APOCALYPSE: As the world simmered down from the events of Apocalypse, Jina had learned that Yuri ,may have fled to America by unkown means. This inspired Jina to go find Yuri, or at least find someone knowldgeable of her sibling's whereabouts. However, she was pennyless and could not afford to pay any air line tickets outside of the country, aswell as in. After a few months of just waiting and hiding from the public eye, Jina snuk aboard a relife aid ship from, America. The country was doing what it could to help other countries, but it was ver very little thanks to Famine. who wiped out the U.S food supply in one swift movement. She kept herself hidding in the frezzer bay for days, with nothing to eat, but she was cozy and hopeful of what was to become of her in America. After 4 days the ship docks, unbeknowest to Jina. To make sure no one snuck aboard a party is set unto the ship seaching for illegal imirgrints. Because Jina was in the frezzer she was missed. After hearing the commotion made by those who had also snuck aboard, she decided to invetigate and came out of the frezzer. To her surprise she was in America. However she didn't know what city she was in, and dared not ask anyone the boat what city exactly. Instead she tried to sneak off, as she did when she got on. She was nearly succeful, when one of the aids spotted her, and demanded sexual favors to let her be. She refused and he attacked, only to be frozen to death. The rukus of the entire event, and the sudden appearnce of a block of ice appearing on the ship alerted everyone at the docks. This would translate into Jina killing a few more men by accident before escaping into the back ally ways of New York City. Speaking little english, didn't go well for her, she soon began stealing her meals, and money to support herself, which often went poor for her. As a mutant she was already ridculed for being different, but now she was a theif and a mutant, ergoing she was often targted by mutant hating groups. She even had a few run ins with the Friends of Humanity. These run ins would happen repeatly for two years, mainly because of her actions. She also became too consumed with surviving she had put finding her sister on hold, till she could resume the serach. She also become a well known theif amongst those living on the streets, and to law inforcement. During one particular night, she notices some people coming out of the swewrs, and decided to follow them to their destination and back , she found them interesting. As she followed them back to their home she realized it was a underground city, but before she could try and understand why anyone would want to live underground she was caught by Morlocks lurking in the shadows. She had not been paying attention to see if anyone had noticed her, it was a mistake that nearly cost her life. Eventually she would explain why she had followed the Morlock's to their city. Despite her lack of english words, Jina quickly comes to realize that the city was for those who can't live on the surface. Mainly do to their mutant gene progressing than the average mutant. SAMPLE RP POST: |
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| Callisto | Jan 2 2013, 09:14 PM Post #2 |
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Hello, Jarrel. Thank you for your interest in XMR. We look forward to having you, but first we have some issues with this application that need addressed. First and foremost you did not enter the rules code. This may seem hokey and/or hammy, but that is essentially our way of knowing you've read and accepted the rules and know how to behave. Please go to the rules, find the codeword, and enter it in the appropriate field. Secondly, playby. While this isn't by any means the most important part of the application, we'd prefer your playby to work with the character you're presenting, and you have a 35 year old caucasian australian woman supposedly being the 24 year old daughter of two (seemingly) Japanese people. The age difference isn't really a big deal, as most PBs are older than the characters they represent, but the ethnicity is a little off to say the very least. If you need help finding someone who fits your given character better, we have some resources and great face hunters who can help. Powers: First off, twice in this section you reference to Ice-Man and DC's Mr. Freeze, while using them as an example isn't un-allowable, avoid using them to establish your abilities. We need to know what all She can do, not just what she can do that's like these other people. Hydrokinesis; This is alright, but how exactly does the water make an efficient stabbing/slashing weapon? Also, the water-constructs aren't going to be sentient are they? If so, please remove that aspect, as yes she can make water constructs, but their is no way I'm going to allow living, conscious things that survive for an indefinite amount of years to be created. That's not just hydrokinesis; that's reality warping, which is banned for Original Characters. If she has to focus to keep them around and moving, that's fine, but once that focus is lost they need to dissipate. Also it seems like you're trying to sneak some sort of healing factor in there with the herbal essences stuff. Please take that out as well, especially since it's not a power but gained knowledge. If she's adept at improvised medicine, make reference to how she became as such in her history, not her powers. Cryokinesis/Ice Generation; -You say she can only form armor and domes, and then carry on to say she can form swords and weapons as well. Which is it? -I don't think extreme cold changes hair color; if you want that, it'd just be a physical mutation. Weaknesses; -Everyone on the planet gets dehydrated at 150 degrees; this isn't really a weakness so much as it is being mortal. -Her social ineptness should go in Personality, not Power Weaknesses
Not to sound curt, but I have no idea what you're trying to say here. She can only drop the temperature that low twice in her life? Twice a day? this makes very little sense. Personality; You say she's calm and collected and then go on to say twice that she is prone to getting into fights and arguments; this contradicts itself. You need to rework this personality and decide what you want this person to be like; Everyone has bad days, are hers frequent enough to warrant commenting? Is she really calm and collected or is she a silent imposing type who is just as likely to punch you as she is to ignore you? You need consistency as what you have entered suggests a bunch of different conflicting things. In addition this entry will need to be more than a paragraph in length. We need to know what we're going to be dealing with. This is a lot, I understand, but its all very important. Once you have addressed the above, I'll continue on with your character history, but these things, which are very core to your character, come off right now as a devil-may-care, almost Sue-ish persona. As a footnote, XMR is an intermediate-to-high level site, and while we don't expect a hundred percent grammatical perfection, your spelling, punctuation, and general wording needs a lot of proofreading and do over as it is, enough worth noting. If you need help, feel free to contact myself or another member of staff via Private Message or AIM. |
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| Warrior Legend | Jan 3 2013, 04:01 AM Post #3 |
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Okay Iv'e edit everything but history hopefully I have corrected most of the grammar mistakes for personality, powers, and weakness. and everything for them is to specification for them as well. If not point them out and ill fix them A.S.A.P |
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| Callisto | Jan 8 2013, 05:02 AM Post #4 |
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I can't make head or tail of that pocket of sentences, but it seems you haven't addressed a)how water makes an efficient cutting weapon (is it pressurized?) And you didn't removed the fact that she can seemingly make quasi immortal sentient water golems, which again, is water-focused reality warping and thus banned. Ice weapons sure, water weapons make little sense unless she's shooting it out of her fingers like a pressure hose. You still state that she can only do shields and domes with Ice before continuing on to say she can make weapons. It's fine if its both, but make it clear please.
This makes even less sense than before. You say she has to do it and then go on to say she can live without ever doing it. You need to remain consistent on your powers. Please address this. The rest of the weaknesses are shaky to me but they work. The personality still needs work. You've gone into great detail but first you mention her as calm and collected, then you mention her as spoiling for a fight, then you mention her as hotly belligerent against any heat-based power carriers before going on to mention how much she supports and lives by a Bushido code, which, okay, given her upbringing, I will give the benefit of the doubt in this application, but it just seems silly. Across all of that wishy washy flippy floppy personality you have her being an isolationist of the highest order, which, fine, if you want to play someone who prefers to hide away and you can handle that, it's fine, but in a gameplay aspect you will have a very hard time finding people to play with as the general rule of thumb here is to go to others for threads, not wait for them to come to you. You need to go through this personality with a fine toothed comb and make it much more cohesive and consistant, and you need to way the options of playing a broody loner with no threads against playing a slightly anti-social/socially awkward person who can reach out to others. History: I only made it a paragraph or two in, and you definitely still need to comb through this application. We here aren't what you would call grammar nazis, but this whole app is so rife with sentence fragments, missing words, missing punctuation, run ons, that at points is downright unintelligible. Make good use of spell check, and, as someone prone to typos and skipped words, read it back to yourself aloud to make sure it sounds right. As far as the content goes, I already have an issue with her history, one, she's only in her mid twenties. One doesn't simply pick up a sword one day and start training as a Samurai in this day and age. She would need a mentor, and seeing as how there are very few (in real life, the number of actual living Samurai are countable on one hand) left in the modern day, it would be extremely difficult to find someone to train her, let alone in secret, unless she had connections to some very old-hat people in Japan. And while we're on the history, a general disclaimer; while we have zero issue with homosexual/bisexual characters, we like to make sure that A) its not going to be used as some sort of soapbox and B) that it'll be played as a character trait and not a caricature of a group of people. This seems trifling maybe but we've had issue from both ends in the past. |
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| Warrior Legend | Jan 8 2013, 08:31 PM Post #5 |
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Okay I removing cool downs. It was something I was trying to do, and try to give some balance for me so I don't go over board on her powers. The rest I'll handle some time this weekend. And thanks for the tip on making sure my sentences are complete, I have no doubt it will help me out. Just a Heads up I also might edit out some things , that I perceive don't belong or its just inadequate. Depending on how things go this weekend I might re-concept The Hydro Kensis ability to something more suitable for the app. |
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| Spiral | Jan 17 2013, 07:29 PM Post #6 |
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Teleportation, Probability Warping, Clone Enhancements
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Has this been edited and updated? If so, post in this thread stating so before THURSDAY, January 24th or risk having this application moved to Denied on account of inactivity. |
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| Warrior Legend | Jan 18 2013, 03:13 AM Post #7 |
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Sorry for the lack of activity, I have been caught in between school and a funeral this past week. I will have some revised parts of this app by Thursday, but I'm afraid it will be a little rushed. I have been considering the power set and was wondering if I could change the concept to just Ice. I believe my character is leaning more towards that ability than I realized. |
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| Warrior Legend | Jan 20 2013, 10:54 PM Post #8 |
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Okay I have made some edits to personality, powers ,and weaknesses. I hope they are more comprehensible then before. I Will have my History up, probably by the end of the week. For, I will be modifying it so it will be consistent, and comprehensible. |
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| Warrior Legend | Feb 1 2013, 02:36 AM Post #9 |
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Okay, I have been super busy with school all week, and the storm that hit Atlanta yesterday. I know accept for the storm, there is no real excuse for me not finishing my edits; so this will be done sometime over the weekend if possible, but I will more than likely have something edit by Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. |
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| Songbird | Feb 22 2013, 04:49 AM Post #10 |
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If you're still working on this, post within a week or it will be moved to denied. |
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8:21 AM Jul 11