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| To Tell of Troubles; Tag: Alix | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 5 2013, 03:47 AM (265 Views) | |
| Moira McTaggert | Jan 5 2013, 03:47 AM Post #1 |
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Timeframe: December 30th, 11:45 am Ahh, Sundays. As good as it was to have meaningful work, to be once more plumbing the depths of the mysteries of mutation, to be making the discoveries that change lives for the better rather than teaching children how to make the discoveries that will give them a shot at a Nobel Prize - it was always a relief to have the weekend off. To unwind and not have to look at a single blood smear on a microscope. To not have to medically examine a poor young mutant to determine whether or not there was truly something wrong or just a bizarre twist of mutated genetics. And it was certainly nice to just sit at an outdoor café, sip on a cup of spiced hot cocoa (as this really was a good day for it) and people watch. Mutant watch. Whatever you wanted to call it, really. Moira McTaggert loved living in Mutant Town. It was fascinating, a truly amazing spectacle of life itself arguably unequaled anywhere on the face of the planet. Nowhere else could you see a man with iridescent skin walking his dog down the street while a particularly stretchy window washer cleaned the windows on the third floor of a building - while he stood on the pavement below. Here, not only were mutants free to be mutants, it was expected of them. And yes, while it was true that Moira sometimes got looks for being so utterly mundane, so absolutely human, she was starting to become known, starting to be accepted. Every once in a while, someone would approach her with a copy of her book “Humans All: An In-Depth Study of How Mutation Shapes our World” asking for an autograph or proclaiming how it helped them begin to accept what they were. Others recognized her for her work with X-Corp, for helping to solve problems mutants were having with their own mutations, helping them to understand things better and learn how to live and cope. She was starting to build a reputation, and more importantly, starting to build acceptance. She was certain that Charles, God rest his soul, would be proud of her. She was not out here, though, purely for the cocoa and the ambiance of everyday life in Mutant Town. She was going to be meeting up with someone. Someone she knew she had to speak with. She honestly did not know how it was going to go. But it had to be done. This was the young woman who was dating a young man who Moira had held in very high regard. This was the young woman who had been in love with him until the day he died… and even after that. And Moira had no idea what to expect from this conversation she was sure to be having soon. And that lack of knowledge unnerved her somewhat. |
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| Alix | Jan 5 2013, 08:02 AM Post #2 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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She had never read Moira's book. She'd never researched her, studied about her, or even really knew about her until Jamie had come along. Of course-- as a whole, she'd always been something of a grassroots being. She had no huge aspirations, no lofty goals. She wanted good for the mutants as much as anyone else, but her scope had always been limited into the realm of Mutant Town. She was simple compared to others of her variety and given the enemies and friends that she had made, she was-- in all-- a humble soul. So when the issue of discussing beta had come up, there'd been a few options she'd gone through before finally concluding onto Moira. So as she'd learned about Moira and the important role that she had in Jamie's life before X-factor, she'd understood that of anyone-- bar perhaps Rahne-- Moira would know just how to address these melancholic issues she felt rising up in Jamie's-- Beta's-- thoughts. There was no link there like there'd been before, but with him being much and the same as so many other mutants, he had no family. There was Rahne, but that was hard and she didn't want to affect the happiness she was sharing now with Jack. So, that left an old boss. Moira. She'd not even told Beta that she was coming to meet with her and likely would never do such. ::Hello, Sorry that I'm late. Things are a bit busy around the office.:: She smiled apologetically and sat down across from Moira with a soft, nervous sort of glance. She held a hand out in a polite greeting and the smile never once wavered. ::It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've been meaning to but-- well-- you know how these things are.:: |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 5 2013, 05:29 PM Post #3 |
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"Oh, 'tis not a problem, really," Moira said with a soft smile and a nod of her head. Most people would likely have been unnerved by Alix's method of communication. Telepathy felt invasive, foreign, threatening. Moira McTaggert, however, was not most people. She had an intimate familiarity with the sensations of telepathic speech borne from her time with Charles Xavier. Moira met Alix's handshake and took a sip of her drink as Alix sat. The poor girl seemed to be doing her level best to disguise what was troubling her, to keep up appearances, something that was surely very important with her current position in life, which was... complicated to say the least. "Well," Moira said, almost setting her cocoa down but deciding against it. Better to not let the table cool it down any. "Let's get t' discussin' what we're here for, aye?" she never was much one for beating around the bush, as it were. Straightforward and direct, getting right to the heart of a problem and solving it, that was more her style. "Tell me about the problem," she said, head tilting to the left ever so slightly. She thought she had a basic understanding of the problem, but it never hurt to get the information in its most up to date form. |
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| Alix | Jan 7 2013, 03:52 AM Post #4 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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Alix smiled appreciatively. While the polite small talk was something she'd picked up on from all the talking with clients, she'd always been one to-- as far as she saw it-- get down to matters directly and quickly. Most of the time; there were few times she could remember holding back or not speaking her mind. But in times like this? She'd always tell everything she could know. ::It's Jamie.:: As much as everyone else referred to Jamie as he was now as 'Beta' she couldn't completely bring herself to do it except in moments where necessary. It felt strange-- like she was saying he was second class to Prime. Power wise he was, sure, but she'd never say that and from an emotional standpoint she would never feel that way. It was impossible. ::He's been distant. I'm not sure how much you knew about him and I, but everything got started when I accidentally created a link when we had been drinking.:: She didn't bother to explain it-- she knew that Moira had been good friends with The Professor and as he was the strongest telepath she'd ever heard of, she imagined that Moira would know what she was talking about. ::But it's been impossible to reestablish and I'm still not sure why. But-- that's not important. What's important is that he's grown to be-- melancholic? I guess. He's always compensated for things with humor but now he's different. And since Rahne is-- well, I don't quite want to bother her-- and Guido is Guido, you're the closest person to him I could meet with. I want to help him, but I don't know how.:: In some part she felt responsible. There'd always been that small moment on Skrullos where he'd remembered things that she couldn't remember and had been afraid of her. Distant and cold, even. She'd never seen that side from him through anything ever and while she-- and she suspected him-- pretended it wasn't there anymore, it still rang true in her mind. She saw it in everything and worried more and more each day. ::I know things can't go back to being exactly how they were. But I want him to be able to be happy.:: Now that she was talking, it all sounded very silly. This was supposed to be her strong suit-- helping people get past things in their minds and coming to terms with emotions. But as much as she could posture to understand there were some things that, for lack of experience, she just couldn't fake her way through. |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 7 2013, 04:47 AM Post #5 |
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"I had a feelin' it was Jamie," Moira nodded her head slowly. She knew right then and there that this was a topic that would require careful wording. Careful consideration. Hell, it would require careful thought. Everything was going to have to be approached with the utmost of caution. "Well, let's start with the most obvious reason f'r Jamie's melancholy - he's nae really Jamie. Not all of him, at least," she stopped just short of saying the reason why this Jamie wasn't all of Jamie. Alix knew why. Moira knew why. No need to bring it up again. "I'll let you in on somethin' I dinnae talk much about. There's nae been a single mutant I've ever met whose mutation I cannae figure out how it works. Telepathy - highly developed neuroelectrical receptors in the brain allow f'r the broadcast an' reception of electrical impulses from one brain to another. Cryogenesis - a highly specified form o' telekinesis that specializes in the slowin' down of molecular motion and thus alteration of temperature. I could keep goin', but that's nae why we're here. The point I'm tryin' to make is I know how every mutation I've ever encountered works... except Jamie Madrox's." Moira propped her elbows up on the table and pressed her fingertips into each other, bringing those fingertips to her mouth for a moment before letting them drop and speaking again. "I dinnae know where the other Jamies come from, I dinnae know where the matter comes from, I dinnae know how he also duplicates every nonliving thing he's holding onto within a certain size range. Not a single lick of his powers have ever made sense to me. No matter how I've studied 'em." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just... I dinnae know. Is there a parallel dimension comprised of naught but Jamie Madrox, waiting t' be popped into existence? Does he draw molecular matter from the environment around him an' reshape it into a genetically identical clone of himself? 'Tis wholly mysterious. None of our tests were ever conclusive." She shook her head slowly, and glanced to the side. "One thing we did notice, though, was that at times... the duplicates seemed to embody aspects of Jamie's personality. Whether this means that the Jamie ye've got now is his morose side, or whether a significant portion of Jamie's personality died with him leavin' only a smidgen left for all the others I cannae say." Moira didn't want to push too much further on that, really - either option was not pleasant to think about. "If ye want, and if he'd be willing, I can take a look, maybe put him in for a CATscan, see if his brain activity is atypical... or maybe he just needs some anti-depressants, 'tis hard to say. Unfortunately, Miss Alix, the hard truth of the matter is that we're in uncharted territory with Jamie. An' I dinnae know how well we'll be able to figure it out." |
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| Alix | Jan 7 2013, 05:18 AM Post #6 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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Alix had always been a being of reason. Of analyzing the humanity in a moment and understanding the complexities of each person and why they did the things they did. She thrived on knowing things. ON having every fact laid before her without even having to try. It was second nature-- her mind had always picked up on things and gave her that base understanding, even if she herself never really tried that hard to act on the things in her own mind. It was just there. Ready to be known for as long as she remained near to the people who did know. But with being in uncharted territory with someone as important as Jamie was eating her up in ways that she hadn't quite realized it would've, and had driven her here to some conversation that she hadn't even told him she was having. And of course she knew that Jamie-- Beta-- wasn't really wholly Jamie. At the same time, however, she couldn't particularly deny that he was him. His thoughts were the same, he reacted the same. All those little things that were very him were all there. But-- at the same time-- she could tell the differences between the various dupes and so there had to be differences there. She also anticipated where her comment about knowing abilities would go. Jamie's powers were strange and in some ways, she knew that's partly what had started this in the first place. Why Prime had been important. Why Beta had been important along with the other one she couldn't remember. That thought sent a strange wave of guilt through her and it took a moment of pointed listening to move past it. ::I know they do that--:: she pointed to the side of her head vaguely. ::Aspects of personality thing. But it's different than that.:: She glanced around quietly before focusing. ::It's more. When he was on Skrullos, he knew that Prime had died. Instantly. And he did say that he felt empty. I know he still feels that way, too, but he's too much like himself to allow himself to dwell on it.:: she sighed thoughtfully. ::I imagined this what you'd say-- it's the reasonable thing. But-- you know him. Maybe not him-- Beta, I mean-- but he's still him. Did you study on the connections between him and his dupes? Before he died, I'd been helping him communicate with himself, between the dupes. He can't do that anymore. I try to help where I can, but it's not the same, I imagine.:: ::There just has to be something that can be done.:: On some level, she couldn't imagine him on anti-depressants and while the CATscan sounded like it could do something-- she had looked into every corner of his mind and seen nothing that was out of the ordinary. ::I'm going to be honest and say that i have never had much of a figure to draw reason from. Cyclops, I figure-- from when I was a student all those years ago. But handling this? I'm alone in a sea of opinions and ideas with no basis to really hold onto besides my own reason-- and right now it really just doesn't seem like I'm enough.:: |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 7 2013, 05:37 AM Post #7 |
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"I was afraid o' that," Moira frowned. If it wasn't just the possibility that Beta Jamie represented a naturally morose aspect of his personality, then it stood to reason that the true reason behind his mood was far more involved. "So then Jamie Prime was the lynchpin. An' without him, this Beta duplicate is tryin' to serve the same function, but may nae entirely be capable. This is distressing indeed," Moira folded her arms at her chest, and let loose a slight huff of a sigh. How does one even approach solving a problem like this? What were the consequences? What was going to happen? Moira had to admit to herself that she had no way of knowing. And she hated not knowing. "I think this requires observation an' study, as much as I hate to admit it. I'd like a DNA sample, just to see if anything irregular is there. Maybe have him come an' talk to me every once in a while. An' you - pay very close attention to him. To his behaviors, to his moods, an' everything ye notice, write it down. I think our best way to determine how to help him get better is to know everything that's goin' wrong." But what solutions could they come up with? Moira had no way to know. How does one help a partial man become a whole man? How does one help... this? It was maddening. Nothing made sense in regards to Jamie. Jamie was dead, and yet - he wasn't. There were duplicates of him running all around. But why? And how? Could duplicates exist indefinitely outside of Jamie? When created, are they then their own unique individuals? Unique individuals... hmm. "Are there any other Jamies out there that ye know of? Any Jamies that are nae directly involved with the detective agency?" |
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| Alix | Jan 8 2013, 07:01 AM Post #8 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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::He was, I guess. And without him, He's struggling in alot of ways that aren't particularly easy for anyone to pin down. Even me. I know him. I've seen everything he remembers from Prime, everything that has ever happened. When the whole link thing happened, it integrated my mind. I hadn't even know that it was possible to do such things with my abilities before then because for the longest time, I just knew the offensive ways that I could make my powers worked. I mean, I saw how Jean and Scott were. But it didn't click. Not like this. So I know him well.:: she admitted without dropping her gaze once. ::So with him being used to being everywhere at once without having to concern himself, things are hard. Especially with everything that has gone on. He's limited. And I think that's partly what eats at him so much. Things are always rough and it's getting worse. As always.:: Moira went on to start solutions and Alix nodded. ::I already do watch him. I remember every little thing that happens and his moods.:: She glanced downwards barely, her memories of all the little things in the past months feeding into the year where things had been going so well. It'd all meant so much that, honestly, it was all that she could think of. ::I have to tell him, though. I can't hide this from him. :: She didn't suspect that Moira was even suggesting to keep him in the dark but, as always, it was better to be straightforward than assume. Ever since the link had been gone it'd been hard. The level of shared ideas had been something that she'd grown used to and with it gone-- even all these months afterwards-- she still wasn't over it. She acted as if it was fine, but late at night when there was nothing to distract her? It was hard not to contemplate just how much had been lost in the battle against the skrulls. ::I think so. He's mentioned some out there before but I don't know if he has any way of finding them. Some of them came to the funeral because they just-- I guess-- knew about the loss somehow. But that's something I'd have to talk to Jamie about.:: She paused thoughtfully, going through her own thoughts to try and pinpoint the various dupes that Jamie might've known about. |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 8 2013, 07:22 AM Post #9 |
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“Oh, I’m sure ye know Jamie much better ‘n I do, that’s for sure. There are things a man will share with a lover that nobody else knows. Believe me, I know that much,” Moira said with a shake of her head as she finished off her cocoa, setting the empty cup back down on the tabletop. “Oh, absolutely. Jamie needs to be involved every step of the way after this talk. I’ve been foolish enough in the past to try an’ help people without their knowledge - to fix things for them behind their backs. It always went terribly wrong, I’d never suggest we do that,” Moira sighed. That was the problem, though, with trying to help some people… “The problem is, whether or not he wants our help. Whether or not he’ll resist or push back. I cannae say for sure how he’ll react. ‘Cause frankly, I never saw Jamie depressed. Never once. An’ I have not a clue as to how he’ll react while depressed. He may fight back, for all we know. We’ll have to be ready.” Moira nodded her head as Alix conveyed information about the possibility of other Jamies. “I’ll talk to Scott an’ Jean with the school. It may take some time, but perhaps once they’ve finished rebuilding an’ they’ve got a Cerebro unit up an’ running, we can make a request, ask ‘em to find every Jamie Madrox they can. ‘Tis a hunch, but I’m wonderin’ if Jamie’s too fragmented. That there are too many duplicates for Beta to handle. I wonder if maybe takin’ duplicates in, bringin’ em back to… wherever they go when Jamie resorbs them… if that may make things better for him.” The older woman took a moment to observe Alix. Her facial expressions, her body language. The way she behaved while she sat there, talking of Jamie and his troubles. The young woman had kept this conversation entirely focused on Jamie. Entirely focused on his problems, and not on her own. That was telling. “Ye really do love him, don’t ye? In the end, Jamie Madrox matters more to ye than anyone else, right?” Moira reached across the table, and placed her hand atop Alix’s. “That’s what’ll get him through this. And it’s what’ll get you through too. I’m glad he’s found someone like you, an’ it does muh heart good to see how much ye truly care for him. I’ll do everything I can to help. Both for him, an’ for you. Ye’re sufferin’ too, aren’t ye?” |
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| Alix | Jan 8 2013, 08:37 AM Post #10 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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::I do and It's not lightly that I say that, either.:: She paused and glanced towards Moira's hand on her own quietly.Even that was a sign that things had changed. That she was no where near as closed off as she might've been. The fact that she was here asking for help was all the more evident of just how much he'd done and how much, really, they'd both done. ::Even this. Before this-- before him-- it was just, you know. Me. I'd hover on the sidelines, come in where they needed me and then back out to let them go about their lives. Oh, there'd be moments. and I loved Xfactor and the others more than anything-- and Rictor. I loved him too, but it was different.:: She sighed softly and looked off. ::But I still kept him at a distance and I was fine with it. It was safe because I didn't have to invest completely.:: She shifted her weight, answering questions before they'd be spoken in the sort of way that only a telepath such as her-- one who held no control over such things-- could. The calm exterior was far from the truth of things no matter how many people she'd fooled into believing she was fine. So, she launched into another round-- this time an explanation of why. ::My abilities do not switch off. In the past, I'd lock my abilities down by locking my own emotions down. I convinced myself that in order to ensure my safety and others I could not live like others did. Did it help me escape what could've been some terrible side affects of growing up with emotions that were never my own? Perhaps. But it also made me see things from the outside. I've been there on the sidelines, helping in all the ways that were ever necessary when there was no one else. Afterwards I'd fade back into the sidelines and I was ok with it. But then Jamie came along that night in Mutant Town when we had Wanda's Dome-- with nothing else to do when we'd funneled everyone to safety-- the team went to the local bar and they all pretended that for at least a night we could be ok. I couldn't-- I never can.:: She remembered that night often and wondered what would've changed if things hadn't gone how they had. If she'd not been too closed off to leave when he'd made the move. If shed not spent the first few days after that trying to push him away. ::But then there was Jamie with some silly card trick and pretending to be a mind reader, thinking about movies and TV shows and all those things that were the furthest from anything I'd ever even cared about. I hadn't even taken the time to notice that I was on his mind but when I did, I couldn't turn back. Even if I tried to withdraw because no matter how bad I wanted something, it would always go bad-- he wouldn't let me. Maybe.. Maybe I'm just worrying too much about him. He's the same as ever and the jokes are still there--:: Memory passed over her gaze. ::But I can't help but worry, I guess. There's these crippling moments of melancholy in him and I don't want it to get worse. I don't want to make it worse, either.:: She sighed quietly. All those requests not to close herself off, not to shut down and make things alright in ways that she could always fake. But there was more. ::And furthermore--:: There was a long pause of regard as she looked towards Moira, tempted to explain all the more about her own memory loss and nightmares. The guilt that had no place and waking up remembering things, but then forgetting them later. She changed her mind, however, when some nagging feeling at the back of her mind made it clear just how bad things were if those things were found true. So she buried it, and smiled. :: I know my suffering-- in the end-- is nothing to that emptiness I know he stays awake thinking about.:: she covered. |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 9 2013, 03:29 AM Post #11 |
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Moira listened quietly as Alix unloaded, told of difficulties and problems, of forcing herself to be distant and emotionless as a defense mechanism. There were many, it seemed, who relied on that as a coping mechanism for being a mutant - cutting themselves off from those around them, developing a hard emotional shell to protect their soft, fragile psyches. It was hard being different, harder being superhumanly different. But to be a telepath - to be constantly open to the thoughts and feelings and needs of those around you - to be assaulted by thoughts and impulses... that must have been particularly difficult. And Alix... Alix it seemed had to cope by functioning like a robot. Cold. Detatched . Analytical. Only that strategy no longer worked. It wasn't uncommon, really - in those who forced themselves to cut off from others. They either became incapable of processing emotions, or the need to connect emotionally becamse too strong to resist, and whne it came time to connect, it was so difficult to do so, far more so than it should have been. "No, ye're right to worry - we worry about those we love. That's a normal, natural response. We wish them happiness and health, we wish them full lives - an' when they're falling short, when things are difficult, as life is wont to do from time to time, we worry. It's a sign that we truly care. We will help Jamie. I promise ye that. An' I will help you. An' so will yuir friends at the Investigations office. Tell 'em how ye feel. Be honest about yuir own troubles, yuir own difficulties. As honest as you are here with me. I've only been there a time or two, but I've noticed things." Moira smiled, and patted Alix's hand lightly. "I think despite yuir former need to close off from people, ye're a nurturer at heart. And I think... I'm nae sure, but I think... workin' to help Jamie will help you. So let's do that. Let's do our research. Find any other Jamies out there. Bring 'em in. An' let's see about gettin' Jamie some therapy too. An' perhaps some for you, too. I promise ye you'll be alright. Both of ye. I'm on the case, an' I dinnae stop until I get the desired results. 'Tis the secret t' muh success." |
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| Alix | Jan 13 2013, 03:22 AM Post #12 |
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Telepathy, Telekinesis / Empathy
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::Being honest is not so easy as it'd seem, but I will try.:: she smiled pleasantly, even if under that she was stil holding back. How could she tell all of them that everything-- every encounter with every enemy-- somehow made her feel guilty? She has suspicions, but she'd never be bold enough to address them. Instead she'd continued to focus her intents onto everyone else and solve the problems and issues that would arrisefor the rest of her team. She was phenomenal at avoiding her own issues and systematically forcing herself to forget for a bulk of the time. It was the nature of her abilities, really. Their thoughts, emotions and memories played much louder against her own and so all it took was a simple choice to concern herself over them as opposed to herself. ::Thank you, Moira.;; she reached out to close her hand around the older woman's in silent appreciation. While she might've come into the meeting not sure why Moira meant so much-- she understood personally now. A cool voice of logic in a world of people who could, at the very next moment be forced to face things down that would've sent most into a frenzy. Cool reason was a valued trait-- she knew it so well. ::So, after the New Years, I'll talk to him. He's been wanting a vacation and while, really, we obviously can't go off to no where, perhaps some time away-- just for a weekend-- will help. I can talk to him there and we can really address things. I'll be honest with him as well.:: she added and-- despite her own nervousness about the things that were bothering her, she meant it. |
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| Moira McTaggert | Jan 13 2013, 03:50 AM Post #13 |
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"Oh, posh, bein' honest is easy. 'Tis like this old Elvis Costello lyric I'm rather fond of - 'the truth can't hurt ye, it's just like the dark. Scares ye witless, then in time ye see things clear an' stark'. It may sting a bit at first, but then 'tis all going to be better after, no matter what." Moira had an inkling that Alix was in more turmoil than she was willing to admit. More to the whole story than what she was willing to divulge. But what could Moira do? Alix was an adult, capable of making her own decisions, whether or not they were particularly in her own best interest. She couldn't make Alix give up the charade of denying her own pain. She couldn't force her to confront whatever it was that was truly troubling her. She had no say in the matter. "Tis not a problem in the slightest, honest. Jamie's long been like family t' me. An' while I miss him terribly, I would be remiss if i dinnae do all i could to help the remnants of him still persisting despite his untimely loss. An' to help the people who still love him." And she meant it. She meant it wholeheartedly. "Sounds like the two of ye deserve it. I say take off. Leave the investigations company in the hands of someone ye trust, someone ye know will do well by it, an' give yuirselves a break. Somewhere tropical, or somewhere touristy, whatever. Just go an' escape for a bit. Ye'll nae regret it." |
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7:31 PM Jul 11