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| Alisa Tager, Cipher; First and new Character | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 17 2013, 09:06 PM (1,403 Views) | |
| Cipher | Jan 17 2013, 09:06 PM Post #1 |
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Unregistered
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Not Done [align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align] NAME: Natalie CONTACT: E-mail me at nwhitehead121@gmail.com HOW YOU FOUND US: Magic lol well the magic of searching the web. OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE: Cipher, and after that we‘ll see. RULES CODE:Blackbird CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE:http://www.comicvine.com/cipher/29-58547/ also http://marvel.wikia.com/Alisa_Tager_(Earth-616) [align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align] [align=center] [/align][align=center]Lauryn Hill[/align] BASIC INFORMATION CANON OR ORIGINAL: Canon AFFILIATION: (Formally) Young X-Men, (Formally) Xavier Institution. FULL NAME: Alisa Tager CODENAME: Cipher NICKNAMES: Cyper, Alley Cat, Ali CURRENT AGE: 21 DATE OF BIRTH: Unknown MARITAL STATUS: Single SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Hetero BASE OF OPERATIONS: Hopefully Xavier Intuition, if the X-Men will have her. TIME AT INSTITUTE: (Predicted) 1 years. REGISTERED WITH SHIELD:No HOMETOWN:N/A KNOWN RELATIVES: N/A PHYSICAL APPEARANCE HEIGHT: 5‘4“. BUILD: Lean, but Toned. EYES: Brown HAIR: Black DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None. But usually has on a yellow bandana. CLOTHING STYLE: Alisa is not picky when it comes to clothes and fashion since she had to live off of scraps, but if there was one thing she would choose to wear it's...Jeans Jeans Jeans! Wither it’s from jean jackets to jean boots, Alisa will wear it and look good in them. UNIFORM: Besides the trademark yellow and dark blue outfit all students have to wear. Mostly Alisa just wears what she has one, but for special missions she wear a black and white body suit. POWERS GENERAL DESCRIPTION: Cipher has abilities similar to that of Shadowcat and Invisible Woman. She can phase and walk through objects, such like Kitty but can also send an electrical charge through the object. In her phased state Cipher also has the ability to fly and make herself inaudible, meaning she can render herself completely silent only to be heard when she allows it. Phasing is somewhat Cipher's natural state having gone months on end witghout being solid. When she is phasing she does not need food or water to substain herself. Cipher can also phase things closest to her as well, and can destroy or repair objects. For example she can walk through a wall and completely crumble it or maybe fix the crack in it. Cipher can also become invisible, such to that of Sue Richards, but can not make other things invisible along with herself. Wither or not she can create force fields is still yet to be determined. She can however just like phasing stay invisible for however long she likes. It seems Cipher also has telepathic immunity making her psychically invisible. Allowing only those she let to read her thoughts. She has only done this once with Jean Grey. Cipher also has extensive training in the art of assassination and torture, having learn from Azazel. WEAKNESS: One weakness that Alisa has, but will never admit. Is that she's cares. Apart of her actually cares about what happens to others and what people think of her. This has sometime caused her to pause and question her actions. Besides that Alisa is only human. So a normal stabbing or diesease can do the trick. PERSONALITY Due her training at a young age, Alisa become emotionally numb. At most she has felt hate and anger, which she has learned to cope with through torture. Only once had she actually felt the emotion, love. Yet it was quickly taken from her and she resumed her natural numb state. Alisa at times seems to suffer from psychopathic thoughts, feeling as if the world should suffer for being blind to it's own stupidity. In many cases Alisa has been caught over killing her targets in gruesome ways. This can be traced back to the killing of her mother, as she blames society for her lose. Yet Alisa loves a good joke and making some herself. She has a tendency to give others nicknames making it easier for her to remember them. Alisa also loves animals with a passion. Often disobeying orders to go and protest for animal rights. Though she was never allowed to have a pet of her own, she wishs to one day open up and animal sanctuary. HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE Growing up in South Los Angeles, Alisa had to learn about life the hard way when her mother was gunned down in front of her at the age of only six years old. Having the bullets pass through herself and struck her mother instead. She was soon sent to live with her father, but have no means to raise Alisa and not wanting a mutant for a daughter, he placed her in foster care. Alisa despised the place calling in "Where society places unwanted children, that way not to feel guilt. Out of sight, out of mind." She soon turned into one of those children that doesn’t play well with others, stabbing one of her care takers in the chest over six times with a number 2 pencil. In her defence that the caretaker had repeatedly beat her for her uncontrollable phasing spouts. Sent to a Asylum, she underwent several "theoretic" methods to help her insanity. Little did she know it was actually experiments to explore her mutant abilities. At the Asylum she was constantly visited by a man claiming to be her uncle. Alisa soon grew a strong bond with the man, viewing him as a replacement father figure. During one of her restless nights, Alisa snuck out of her room finding herself in the laboratory wing of the Asylum. Where she discovered the truth behind the callous treatment of her and also her mutant abilities. Angry Alisa sent touch to the room, burning all files on her and others at the Asylum. Only because she was able to stay in a phased state did she go un-scorched by the flames. She was however discovered in the lab by the doctors there. In vengeance for their lost work they tortured Alisa, using electricity and water to bring Alisa to the brink of death. Yet Alisa found more torture in that her "uncle" was not allowed to visit her anymore. Alone Alisa soon went into a depress state of mind. Often cutting herself to see how far she could take pain. After a few months the doctors finally allowed Alisa to be visited again by her uncle. He promised Alisa he would take her away from the Asylum, but only if she proclaimed her undaunted loyalty to him. Agreeing Alisa was surprised to see her uncle change from a sweet old man to which can only be described as a red devil. Her uncle killed everyone in the Asylum, taking Alisa home with him. Grateful Alisa stayed with him, even when his methods of "training" at times seemed out right cruel. Yet soon Alisa found contentment with her uncle. Now that she had a outlet for her pint up rage, though killing. Even killing her own kind, mutants. When she was just seventeen of age, Alisa was given the mission to "investigate" the Xavier Institution. Able to go undetected among the school residences, Alisa soon found herself enjoying the everyday lives of the students there. She had not expected to be detected by fellow mutant Jean Grey. Blaming the school for making her soft, yet she commence to open up with the red-head. She even allowed Jean to share her existence with Scott Summers, in which he gave her the code name Cipher. DURING APOCALYPSE Feeling as if she was becoming to involved in the mission Alisa used the event of the coming "Apocalypse" to escape. Ending up in a small town in Canada, due to the chaotic state of the world. Having some down time to review exactly who she was. Alisa began to feel as if she wanted more for her life than to just murder people. Now knowing she could not return to her uncle and not wanting to return to the X-Men due to her selfish act. Alisa waited until things died down before heading north up to Alaska. She found the cold, lonely, isolated state confronting and began to settle down. POST-APOCALYPSE Alisa began to settle into a simple town folk life. Taking a job as Veterinarian and soon meet Jensen Callaway, a dog slider and local doctor. She and Jensen soon began a steady relationship ending up in a engagement by Jensen. Yet fate not being on Alisa side, Jensen was killed by her uncle. Who now wanted Alisa to return home and keep her loyalty to him and him alone. Refusing Alisa again ran to save herself. Now having to live in hiding she is constantly on the move. Only able to stay in a town for no longer than a week. Excepted for when she got caught up in the illusion placed by Wanda. Now tired of the chase she is hoping to return to the X-Men in hopes for forgiveness, freedom, and a chance to start over. SAMPLE RP POST: "So which one are you," He asked her laying down the four cards in front of her. "Are you a Spade or perhaps you happen to be a Heart." She stared at him in confusion and then down at the cards that laid before her on the see through table. "I don't understand." "Come now the question is quite simple." After a long pause and Alisa continued silent he sighed. Leaning forward in his cushioned chair, "I'll tell you what you are." He red lean fingers grabbed one of the cards, holding it up front of her face. "You my dear are a Spade. Quite useless and expendable, it's only by luck that you continue to keep breathing." He threw the card and Alisa watched as it drifted to the floor. "You do have some use thought," He continued, "your a born killer." Alisa frowned studying the remaining cards, "Which one are you then, Uncle?" Smiling he slide the Ace of Diamonds over towards her. Alisa picked up the card staring at it still confused. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Full house, you lose," Alisa said, holding her hand to her forehead in an "L" shape. She and Jensen had been playing poker all night, enjoying the time to just be with one another. Jensen sighed throwing his cards down in defeat. "I still don't get how you keep beating me." Alisa laughed, grabbing her now empty glass cup and headed into the kitchen, "I had a good teacher." She placed her cup in the sink and commence to wash the few dishes. Jensen's breath tickled her neck hair as he came up behind her, wrapping his firm arms around her waist. "So I was thinking you should have your bachelorette party this Friday, that way Sunday you won't be so tired." "Don't you mean so I won't be so drunk," She teased. "Well that to," He laughed kissing the nape of her neck. Alisa sighed inwardly, "Or we could just move the date again." She felt Jensen froze. "Ali--" "It was just a suggestion," She said quickly. He spun her around so that she faced him, "Are we getting cold feet again?" "Maybe I was walking in the snow earlier," She said light heartily. His frown deepened, "Not funny." She sighed, "I just think... I mean don't you think we're moving a bit fast. How much do you really know me?" Jensen held her chin so that she looked him in the eyes, "I'll tell you what I know. Your name is Alisa Tager, soon to be Mrs. Alisa Callaway. You’re a wise when it comes to kicking my ass at poker, and you make the best peach cobbler I've ever tasted. Oh and you--" Alisa held her hand you for him to stop, "Ok, Ok I think I get it." Jensen smiled, "Ali I already know enough to know I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you." he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips. "Besides I don't think Sam would like it if her "preparations" were to be cancelled...again." Alisa shook her head laughing, "Oh no, we wouldn't want that." "Good," Jensen moved so that she could walk, "Come on let's hit the hay. You have lots of shopping to do and I have...work." Alisa giggled at his exhausted expression. He loved his work she knew that, he just liked to complain about it. "Ok just let me clean up the cards first then I'll meet you upstairs." He yawned walking up the stairs to their shared bedroom. Alisa made her way back to the dining room. Quickly she packed the cards into the box, yawning herself. She smiled arranging her wedding was harder than trying to kill the prime minster of Germany. She hurried up the stairs to the man she loved. Opening the door she took notice that the lights were off. He must have fallen asleep already. Walking over to the black figure that laid in their bed she climbed in beside him. Leaning over to kiss his cheek in before settling herself. She adjusted her pillow, but stopped when she felt something warm and wet. Natural instinct kicked in and she stood up turning on the lights. There laid Jensen in a pool of his own blood. he stared wide eyed at the ceiling, his throat sliced. "Hello Ali." She didn't bother turning around. "Azazel," She replied coldly. She walked over to were her now dead finance laid. He frowned. He hated it when she referred to him by his name. he watched her as she kneeled beside the dead man. "You knew I would come." She shrugged taking Jensen's cold hand in her own, "I wanted to try something new." "Aw," Azazel sighed gently. He moved to where she kneeled, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Alley Cat, you've forgotten your place. You are nothing but a Club remember. Jensen here was a Heart." He squeezed her shoulders, "I had to show you the light." Alisa didn't move finding it hard to turn form Jensen's frozen stare. "I know," She said slowly rising, "but that doesn’t mean I still wouldn't kill you." She spun around phasing her hand through the man's chest. Blood began to spill from his lips as her squeezed his heart. "Funny you look like him, even sound like him. Yet the Azazel I know doesn't have a heart." A slow smile spread across his face, even as more blood was coughed from his mouth. "He sent me to get you. He's not a patient man." "An aspect we both share," She replied ripping the man's heart from out his chest. She watched it until it's pumping ceased before throwing it down on the now dead man. "There now you're just like him." Alisa turned back to stare at Jensen, running her hand over his face to close his eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Even as she stared down at the man she love no tears formed from her eyes and it sickened her that she could not cry. |
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| Betsy Braddock | Jan 17 2013, 09:29 PM Post #2 |
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
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Hey Natalie, I'm going to be honest, but you need to go and read our board history, then rewrite this application from start to finish. http://z4.invisionfree.com/Xrevolution/ind...?showtopic=8790 Pointers: The Jean Grey school does not exist here, so no blah blah whatever, thank you very much. You also need to do a LOT more for most of your sections, especially personality and history in particular. Your sample is so crushed up; you must use line breaks, especially with dialogue. If you are going to use canons in play on this site in your history, please contact them as it's polite, and not everything in the comics has happened here, and a lot of it never will. Lauryn Hill is not a suitable playby for a 17-21 year old - which by the way also needs to change, as you MUST give her a proper, set age, and actually define her background. Make it up based on what you know of her in canon. Finally, Storm is not the rules code on this site. Please read the rules. This just needs work, proper work, and integration into our own canon. Please contact myself or another member of staff if you need help. Thank you. PS - that image is FAR too high for a signature, images in sigs mus be no more than 300 pixels high and 500 wide. |
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| Cipher | Jan 19 2013, 11:04 AM Post #3 |
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Thank you for being honest. I hadn't meant to offend anyone by adding thier character. I thought the first half had to be what happen to her in the orignial comic, which actually isn't a lot to go on lol. That's why it must have been quite confusing and weird. Plus I wanted to keep her out of the Apocalypse event since well she wasn't there, but I will go apologize and ask permission this time, I'm sorry. Also I meant to change that Jean Grey school thingy I must have forgotten. I did it on Word first and then pasted on here, which made it look so packed together on here :/ but fine on Word. Hopefully though I fixed my History and Personality this time. Yet I'm still confused about the rule code. I looked at the rules but couldn't find where it talks about that. Maybe 'm not looking hard enough but I'll go back and check again. Oh one more thing I'll change the signature. I did notice it was really big haha I'm just looking for the right picture. |
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| Betsy Braddock | Jan 19 2013, 06:43 PM Post #4 |
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
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Natalie, When I asked you if you could re-write this application, I did mean it literally. Again I will give you pointers, but you really need to read our history, some approved apps on this site, then just take it back to formula. Your powers are copy/pasted. This is completely unacceptable and MUST be properly re-written in your own words and you must add in facts and figures such as how long she can use each aspect of her power for, etc. Use a spell check and proofread; you have typos all through this application and you've used the wrong word in several instances. Your autocorrect is probably to blame here, which is where proofreading comes in. Please put a bit more effort into the length of sections, such as personality, as right now I can't get much of a sense of the character from here. Don't be afraid to layer her and use your imagination within reason of the template that canon gives you. You MUST give her a background, a family, an upbringing...All this 'HIM' stuff doesn't even make sense. Did she seriously physically fly all the way from NY State to Australia during Apocalypse? The event spread around the globe; if there wasn't a Horseman attack, there were environmental disasters such as storms, hurricanes and earthquakes a few days later, followed by the blackout created by the EMP. I don't even mind her running, but it needs to be feasible. Your Post Apoc, again too short. Why did she run away to be a stripper and go all the way back to America to do so? It's going on four years since Apocalypse and it seems this is just to avoid having to detail any of the other sitewides. If I can be shown genuine character growth and motivation for these actions, I'll consider allowing it but I am not allowing it just so she can shake her booty and have dramaz from it. Now I can actually read the sample...it doesn't overjoy me, to be honest. I'm not trying to slam, but again, what is the necessity and motivation behind this character turning stripper? I am really not comfortable with it. I am sorry this seems so negative, I'm not trying to slam your app, but it is currently below our standards. However, it is salvageable, otherwise I would have just denied you if it wasn't. But you need to work hard on making it better. If you need help, you can talk to me or another member of staff. Please respond when you're done and again, we're here to help if you need it. |
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| Cipher | Jan 24 2013, 10:30 PM Post #5 |
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Ok I'm praying I did it right this time idk. It's been crazy with starting back to school, and trying to get enrolled to this one class I need. Um but yeah hope this time it's ok... |
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| Cyclops | Jan 25 2013, 08:27 PM Post #6 |
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Punches from the Punch Dimension
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It's getting better, really, but there are a few issues we need to take care of. All of your sections are pretty sparse. I want to see a little more depth of character. If she's psychopathic, if she has feelings of numbness and can kill people without a thought, why does she want to join the X-Men, who famously do NOT kill (well, Wolverine does but he's a special case) when it seems like the Brotherhood might be a better fit. If she can't feel emotions, then why does she get guilty when she runs off during apocalypse? For your powers, I want details. How long can she phase? Can she make other things invisible? If so, for how long? Does it tire her out? Is being phased her natural state? History: I don't like any of it. First of all, Azazel is a canon character not known to be involved with Cipher, but to other characters on the site. I want you to talk to Nightcrawler's player and Mystique's player (who is an admin) about using him in your history. If they are ok with it, I need to know what the connection is, why Azazel used Cipher instead of Nightcrawler to do all this. I don't like the torture by this Asylum. Something like that would have repercussions, there would be an effect on others, and we need to know about it. Why are they experimenting on her, for what purpose, how did they know she was a mutant? Etc. Etc. Basically, you've taken a very sparely characterized canon and taken out most of the elements that made her canon and instead turned her into a pretty Mary Sue-ish sort of character. Drama for the sake of drama. I know you don't have much to work with, but you maybe need to read our banned section and get a clearer idea what it is we don't want. Please, talk to staff members. Someone will help you. |
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| Cipher | Jan 30 2013, 06:53 PM Post #7 |
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Unregistered
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I will be doing another character, since I am not quite getting the hang of this one. Sorry for the inconvence. |
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| Betsy Braddock | Jan 30 2013, 06:57 PM Post #8 |
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
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Moving this to denied. If you need help with your new character, please contact staff rather than struggle all over again, as it'll help you in the long run. |
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8:21 AM Jul 11