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Nicole. R Tommels
Topic Started: Feb 26 2013, 07:33 AM (763 Views)
Nicole. R Tommels
Unregistered

CODE
[align=center]PLAYER INFORMATION[/align]

NAME: Kouki
CONTACT: PM is A’ok!
HOW YOU FOUND US: RPG-Directory
OTHER CHARACTERS ON THE SITE N/A
RULES CODE: Blackbird

CREDIT WHERE IT'S DUE: Google Documents & the usage of various minor sources, old comics, and the wikipedia’s list of powers. Both own.

[align=center]CHARACTER INFORMATION[/align]

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Ellen Page


BASIC INFORMATION

CANON OR ORIGINAL: ORIGINAL
AFFILIATION: N/A

FULL NAME: Nicole. R Tommels
CODENAME: D.A.T.A.B.U.G
NICKNAMES: Lone-bug, OCD

CURRENT AGE: Twenty Two
DATE OF BIRTH: 8/10/1991
MARITAL STATUS: Single
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Lesbian
BASE OF OPERATIONS: Tunnel 194
TIME AT INSTITUTE: N/A
REGISTERED WITH SHIELD? Not Currently
HOMETOWN: New York
KNOWN RELATIVES: Richard Tommels (Father), and Elizabeth Tommels (Mother)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5’9”
BUILD: Lean(Slim) and non-muscular. Underweight/small.
EYES: Heterochromia iridum (Left One) Green, (Right One) Blue(skyish)
HAIR: Black
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: N/A
CLOTHING STYLE: Loose, baggy, and overly hiding. Mostly street-hood, homeless in appearance.
UNIFORM:

Nicole wears nothing more then required for basic survival. The most being a decent pair of pants, shoes, shirt, and jacket as well as her required reading glasses.

Nicole wears a standard pair of blue-slack pants, jean made and loose around the knees. They drag slightly past her shoes, are torn around the trim, and the knees are cut out to allow better and more comfortable movement when running. The belt-loops are cut around the 3rd, and 6th loop, and is coupled with a slim onyx-black belt with a silver-buckle. The buckle is tarnished, and chipped away at the top right, and bottom left ends. The top right one seems as if she caused it. The belt is cracked slightly, and has a single line cutting through it. With exactly 29 holes drilled into it.

Nicole wears a pretty easy flowing t-shirt, straight white and the trim stained in a small amount of oil & grease as if she has been working on machines for some time. No sleeves, and vest made. It is tightly fitted around her waist, chest, and flows past her waist line to meet with her knees. Above the shirt she wears a loose, and baggy brown-air pilot jacket. A trim of fur tracing around the neck, and sleeves. Slightly torn, and covered in a small amount of dirt.

Her shoes are broken in tennis shoes, solid white and black with one lace missing. The bottom is slightly cracked but solid, and roomy with a touch of comfortable.

POWERS

GENERAL DESCRIPTION:

Nicole has a unique talent or well trait about herself, she has the ability to consume Data or Information at an inhuman rate, capable of touching any form of digital or electrical technology and near-instantaneously learning how to use it, and everything it contains within any stored or inboard memory, and information storing systems. Due to this gift, she is known to see small moments of hot-flashes of information. Various lines of codes, images, and audio files repeating themselves. A bit this is rare, it can be physically and emotionally crippling at times.

While Nicole has the ability to actively consume Data, she is also capable of projecting it into a spherical hologram like form to make it a physical manifestation for others to witness, or learn.

Nicole is actively learning nearly all the time, while others require physical contact with a keyboard or machine to actively control it, she is capable of projecting a mental image of the required "motions" to control the object. The easiest being keyboards, projecting a mental image and actively triggering each key in order to proceed allowing for hastened, and nearly unmatched levels of skill. This greatly enhancing her informational gathering levels as it allows her to more actively "Crack" into other systems and... assimilate the information she wants.

Another interesting trait is her mind, Nicole is able to store nearly unlimited amounts of data at any time. Actively controlling what she keeps, and "disregards" into her more active memory-functions. While the other information is never "deleted" from her head, its put aside and forgotten to allow for further exports of data to be administered or absorbed.


WEAKNESSES

As with all gifts comes the cost. D.A.T.A.B.U.G requires physical contact with the object in a sense of the word. The only exception being keyboards & computers. As she is either sitting next to or in the chair at the time, thus a "field" of control is established or a mental connection.

While in this state of "fusion" she becomes as easily susceptible as machines or any level of "advanced" technology is to EMPs, and sudden discharges of electrical energy. This is due to the connect between both her and the machine, despite its greatly enhanced control, it comes with dire weaknesses.

Even while in her normal state, she is extremely reactive to sudden discharges of electrical energy, as if it was a greatly embedded fear. Highly due to the way her mind reacts, and is chemically built. More and greatly related to a unique neuron-pathway system more akin to recycling the bio energy the body produces. Allowing for quicker reaction, and graphical feeds. The most commonly noticed trait is the enhanced hand eye coordination.


PERSONALITY

Nicole or D.A.T.A.B.U.G is a solemn individual, or "lone wolf figure". Greatly due to her yearning for the endless knowledge of the world around her, always seeking to gather, study, and create with that she obtains from the "uppers" and "secret gate-way organizations of the Earth," while she consumes and "feeds" off this information, she also greatly wishes to confine within herself the truth of humanity. She wants to learn the real reason that mutants so actively evolved into what they were, understanding so far that its genetic.

She understands that all things evolve but they have a reason, what was hers?

While shes not seeking a cure or any of that mess, she wants to simply know why, and perhaps even who.

Nicole despite being a lone wolf, is actively social on the networks. Happily enjoying a stroll through cyber land, the forums, and most social networks under the alias "OCD" or as most call her CD. Actively sharing and giving out pieces of gather information not critical or important enough to keep secret from the world.

While some know her as her true cause, very few understand why she does it. Nicole or D.A.T.A.B.U.G is nothing more than an information exchange artist or trader. Trading Information for anything she wants or needs, money is a crucial piece but disliked, wanting instead information as well, support, equipment, and at times nothing more then a cheap laugh.

Comical, and joker like in attitude. She loves toying with "opponents" and watching them squirm under the pressure of facing a "Master" at work. Enjoying the suffering of others as they realize they just lost a game of -insert Shooter Game Name- or something similar! Who knows, you might be next.

While she enjoys lazing about, and surfing the net. She loves nothing more then to snuggle into a blanket by the fire, and happily doze off to the sound of rain, water, and the blissful warmth.

She also bites. Grrr!

HISTORY: PRE-APOCALYPSE

Nicole. R Tommels..Alias D.A.T.A.B.U.G or OCD...even CD was born to both Richard and Elizabeth Tommels in the wonderful city of New York! Her father a well respected Doctor and her mother a near-world renown Author yet something always felt different. She was raised, and spoiled like any other rich child or "spoiled brat" but unlike the rest she always seemed...focused on something, something no one could ever see. Her mind always raced, and wandered off from the world.

Even as a small child she seemed interested in information, always wanting to learn something new, something "cool" or just interesting at the moment every single second. Like most children she was glued to television the moment she saw it but unlike other children she always seemed to focus "on" the Television instead of at it. Wandering how it worked, how it made all those "colorful pictures" in such a small space. The possible choices were endless!

Personally she always thought it was magic, go figure.

As she continued to grow up under her parents roof, she was given everything. Shown to private schools, tutors, all the toys, sweets, and shiny objects she could ever want or need. She didn't want any of it but hey, she's not spending the money.

During her private school years, she always seem top of her class but never actually studied, she seemingly knew all the answers without even knowing the question. Respected, spoiled, and grown into the young woman she was. She -HATED- it, she hated the attention, she hated the follows, and she hated being treated with such restraints. It was the only reason she didn't just snap! Because they held such a tight leash on her.

Spending her time away from home but two times a year for a week each, she spent most of her time around other women, and thus..."her feelings" awoke more easily.

Starting a meaningful relationship with another student, whose name will not be mentioned at this time, and happily doing so for a year where she graduated and left the academy. Returning home and fully "learned" she was then pressured into medial school where she happily declined, and left her home to venture out into the world and to find her place among the others.

DURING APOCALYPSE

Just as she made her path into the world did hell happen, burning homes, mad people, and crazed religious folk. Fun....lots of fun, during this time the "awakening" happened but lets get to that shortly. Having finally found her place in the world, she held a small apartment over main street, and had a successful and prominent business all of her own. Spending every, and all day gathering information for others and those who sought the truth. It was bliss.

Then it happened, that thing decided it was time to start something. One day she peered out into the world, and well saw it. People dropping dead, burning, explosions, and chaos. ..Mutants she had always been told, and taught to hate, and fear them but she never understood why till this day. The sheer destruction was...just beyond all standards. Never had she seen this level of power yet...at the same time, she wants to know how. How could this be?

Slowly her world seemed to freeze, time stopped, and her mind opened up. She always wondered...maybe...maybe she was? No...but yet she wanted to know for sure.

Her days become long, exhausting, extensive, and never ending. Her mind breaking into the very digital world as she began studying, her business breaking down, and everything she built up to this point seemed to fade away....all because she wanted to know the most unanswered reason to their evolution...why..

As she continued her study, she had begun to notice the very world around her seemed to become nothing. She herself...was what they were, hated, she was a mutant, and she never caught onto it. Since she was young, she could just touch something...and just know what it was for, this answered many questions but opened so many more. She wanted to know why, why she was picked and not her mother or father. Why did this afflict onto a few when there was so many?!

POST-APOCALYPSE

Shifted, alone, and dark. The world below was much easier to set up operations for study, and understanding then the world above. So many capable of ruining perfect information by damaging something. It was so pointless to try up there, and thus she moved to the tunnels below the city. Into the darkness to finally finish her study in peace. It was almost perfect, till -they- attacked. The Skrull infected by some kind of sickness. It made it that much harder to focus her time on studies, and the gathering of information.

They crashed down everything, her very gift rendered useless by the world-ending EMP. She had nothing left, they had destroyed her small base, and ended any further information gathering. They had to pay, they had to suffer for what they did! So, she did her best. As the dark moon lite high into the air, as the night slowly shadowed the world...she..moved out into the open air once more, and let the flush of oxygen flood her lungs.

It had been some time since she stepped out into this world, and she knew she had to be careful. She took every chance she could to gather everything required, picking up scrap metal, and the required pieces of the ultimate puzzle. She had plans to create a perfect, self-sustaining piece of machinery to combat the invading forces. Despite the X-men and the united forces of the world halting them before its completion, she spent most, if not all her time placing pieces of information into something viable as a weapon.

While it never got its use as a weapon, it did get great use as a kitchen table. With the world back in "order" she once more continues on with her research, hoping that one day...she really real know it all.

SAMPLE RP POST:

Tap....tap....tap goes the annoying buzzer in your head....tap....tap...tap goes the annoying buzzer in your head...tap...tap..TAP! Suddenly it rang, the darkness that flooded the young female’s vision slowly faded back into the nearly endless and almost as bothersome source of light....well what light you could muster in this dank, old, and dark old tunnel system. Who knew? The soon flooding vision of the world she had now welcomed as her own, the funneled vision of steel, rusty metal and various pieces of shattered or broken concrete that laid about. The visions of her home made bed, a simple layer over layer set of bed sheets, some old rope, and pieces of wood made a perfect hammock to call “home”.

Variously damaged pieces of junk laid about the ground, cluttering it about, what she could repair cramped in a corner next to a self-made computer. Two bulking masses of metal leaning against the “desk” they housed the most basic of processors, something she could use to “check up” on the cruel world outside her cramped little home. Slowly her feet connected to the ground, the dusty, dirt, and grime covered laces of cloth slithered across the ground, the squeaking torn under-belly skidding against the filth, and the eventual “popping” of the bottom once she stood up, and put her weight down on her feet.

Slowly the flickering screens lit up, the dual set of monitors flashing nearly hundreds of lines of code a second. The young woman’s multi-colored eyes nearly instantly responding with a look of pure hate. “Man, this again?,” she seemed to question it as she moved towards the corner of the room, more like shambling without a cause as the creaking sound of her sitting down on the nearly-broken “computer chair” began easily noticed. Slowly the tunneled, and broken base seemed to pop down slowly due to the added weight, and thus a quick turn of the chair and boom. She was net worthy.

The flickering images easily applied as she focused forward, her eyes warping to a near-perfect copy of the set once she slowly shrugged her fingers across the plastic mouse, and key set. Slowly her lips curled back and her cheeks flushed forward while she smiled. It was all a simple....tap of the world now....tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...tock. Time became nothing more than....what you could make it out to be.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Hey Kouki, thanks for your interest in XMR! I have some feedback for you, so please bear with me and if anything I say confuses you, don’t hesitate to contact me.

1. Please don’t use a gif for your character picture. Make sure any image is linked from an image host site as well and that the playby’s name is listed underneath the picture.

2. Others is a hard faction to start in so be proactive about looking for threads and in joining a faction, as it’ll help you more than anyone.

3. Orientation – unsure as in bi-curious or something else? We’re very open to gay/bi etc, but as long as it is not for soapboxing or just a cute quirk.

4. Base of operations – basically where she can be found right now. Sounds petty, but it’ll help people find you for threading.

5. Honestly I am a little grossed out by the fact she wanders around in a t-shirt stained with blood amongst other things. If you want to portray her as being really absorbed in her machines and not so much in her appearance, there are easier ways of doing it beyond making her a hobo.

6. Powers are mostly fine, but you need to be a bit more specific. Could she break every firewall, ever? Even one created by another technopath? It seems a little too easy, is all. Even technopaths need to be challenged sometimes, so think a little harder about limits and consider that she’s not going to be the best in the world at this.

Also, has she no way of getting rid of excess data? She seems a little too overloaded and this could become potentially limiting. I also don’t understand how she has not learnt to cope when you imply in history that she has had her powers from a very young age. The overloading doesn’t make a lot of sense if you step back and look at the bigger picture.

Honestly, at this stage it might be a little better if she was either computer data based, or machine based – obviously since she has the data storage, you may want to plump for the former and simply develop/expand this and when we see how you get on in game, she can eventually move on to machines. Right now she’s more a combo of technopathy traits and it would be better for you to make a choice and focus.


7. In her history, be really careful when talking about her having a near psychotic breakdown. I get that you’re trying to show the depth of her love for her machines etc, but you get into tricky territory. It’s also borderline Sue-ish, how she is a strictly controlled homeschooled prodigy – I get her father wanting to control her actions and as long as you don’t overplay it, her being a prodigy isn’t an issue either. But, if her father is a successful doctor, how does he have the time to teach her? It would also make it harder for her to get into a placement for her doctorate – not impossible, but as a doctor her father he would understand the benefits of a good school over homeschooling.

Again, be careful about talking of ‘driving her mad’, especially if you’re not going to really brush on it in the personality and define it properly. Her drama seems a little more important than anything else in the history, which won’t help round her out. I’m not saying she has to have a perfect life, but if she is going to have a bad time, the roots need to be balanced, rather than just a lot of fuel for the fire.

Your Apocalypse section really starts to lose me a little. Does she go completely underground? How could she understand the mutant plight down there? Be a little more solid with events and what happens, beyond just her feelings.

Post Apoc needs to have the sitewide plot events, such as the Purifiers and the Skrulls – you cannot establish your character as a well-known hacker if you do not establish her within our own history and even then, you need to allow players the choice if they want to have heard of her.

How does she live? Does she have a proper job or do people pay her to hack? What is her ultimate motivation – does she have a pro mutant stance to her work, or is it just bringing down the man?

Also, with her hacking, you must have the full cooperation of anyone you hack IC. If you intend to hack something like SHIELD or the Government or some other huge corporation/organisation, you must have staff permission, because that would be huge.



I’m really sorry if any of this seems unfair or mean, I’m not here to slam, I’m here to help. There is potential coming through this app in plenty of places, but you need to tone things back or just generally polish other things. Please contact me or another member of staff if you need help or just reply when you’re done, thanks :)
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Nicole. R Tommels
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I deleted the history/personality for now, going to fix them by rewriting them. To avoid hangers, also fixed powers/appearance/base/sexual orientation. originally was going to have as unknown for that due to less then noticed human contact.

Edit - Touched it up, let me know how it looks.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. First of all, thanks for making the edits so far, but there are a few things where I think you’ve possibly not quite gotten the message so bear with me a little longer.

Before we get down to facts, what does D.A.T.A.B.U.G. actually stand for? Is it an actual acronym?

1. Powers – these really need some limits, proper limits. It’s all very well using the terms ‘nearly unlimited’ but this tells us very little. She can learn a lot, by the sounds of it, from any electronic source, and retain pretty much all that information. It’s just too much skill with hardly any effort involved.

For instance:

Quote:
 

As with all gifts comes the cost. D.A.T.A.B.U.G requires physical contact with the object in a sense of the word. The only exception being keyboards & computers.


In the modern day of ipads, smart phones, etc…what constitutes a computer, exactly?

Also:

Quote:
 

Even while in her normal state, she is extremely reactive to sudden discharges of electrical energy, as if it was a greatly embedded fear.


Why is this? It doesn’t make much sense – most people are quite sensitive to bursts of electrical energy.

Quote:
 

While in this state of "fusion" she becomes as easily susceptible as machines or any level of "advanced" technology is to EMPs, and sudden discharges of electrical energy.


Interesting you should reference EMPs here – there was a very strong, worldwide EMP blast during Apocalypse (not the end of the Skrull plot), but you miss the chance to pick up on that at that specific time. You don’t have to, but it would be a good point of exploration.

To cut to a point as well, she sounds a LOT like canon Sage – your previous incarnation was like a mix of Sage, Box and Forge. It’s okay to get ideas from canon, but you cannot transfer ideas so absolutely from it, especially when we do have an active Sage in play.

2. Personality –

You say she’s a lone wolf, but she seems to spend a large amount of time on social networking sites, you even point out your own contradiction. While a lot of this isn’t bad, she’s not really coming across as a young woman in her twenties, but a younger teenager. Don’t make her so much of a loner so that people will need to beg her to join a faction. In any case, if she’s so underground people are more likely to hunt around for her out of annoyance than wanting her to join their team, you know?

Also:

Quote:
 

Greatly due to her yearning for the endless knowledge of the world around her, always seeking to gather, study, and create with that she obtains from the "uppers" and "secret gate-way organizations of the Earth," while she consumes and "feeds" off this information, she also greatly wishes to confine within herself the truth of humanity.


Remember what I told you before; she can’t just be strolling into the files of SHIELD or the X-men or Hellfire Club etc.

You also say she lives in a tunnel, but she lazes about and surfs the web. I asked this before, but how does she live? Does she hire out her skills, or does she have a job? This all might sound silly but things do need to make sense.


3. History –

You’re straying into Sue territory. Power developments so young are fine, as is having a rich upbringing, but I don’t see why she suddenly hates it so much, then she just walks out on her life. You don’t give any real reasons why and you don’t even name her first love - why can’t she be named? It seems lazy more than anything.

During Apocalypse –

Was this the first time she was aware of mutants? They had been in the news before and if she was living in the NYC area especially, she’d have been aware of them.

Apocalypse was only a week and again, you’re losing me in this section as to what’s actually happening.

Post Apocalypse –

Better, but you’re verging into her being a ‘builder’ rather than someone who just handles data, so try and avoid this.

And again, I have to ask the question, how is she surviving down there? How has she not been found by the Morlocks or X-Factor or anyone else who spends a lot of time underground?


I’m sorry that a lot of this sounds so nitpicky, but a lot of these problems are just that and altogether, it leads to potential complications. Try and get some good balance, spend time reading approved applications and in game threads to help you out, or contact me or another member of staff. We’re here to help. Thanks :)
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Is this application still being worked on? Please respond by March 18th or this will be moved to denied due to inactivity.
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Betsy Braddock
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Telepathy (I'm not a bloody ninja)
Moved to denied through lack of activity.
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